Jonathan Winters Is in a League of His Own | Carson Tonight Show

before Johnny Winters comes out I must tell you a true story it gives you an idea of the sense of this man I told him backstage he'd almost forgotten as soon as I started telling he says I remember that I was back in New York about must have been almost 30 before we started who do you trust and I was working locally at CBS and had gone back to replace Robert Q Lewis who is a big television Star had a daytime show on CBS so I went back to fill in for him for about a week but I'm in my hotel room one day the phone rings I pick it up says Miss Carson and I said yes he says JB Durkin of baton bar centers and lossman big advertising agency in New York there's Rama Mrs Durkin I'm head of the Buick division I said yes sir The Voice goes on we've seen your work in California we've seen you the past weekend we'd like you to do commercial for the Buick car company of course there's a new Buick in it then ten thousand dollars in cash and my eyes are dancing I'm driving the car already down the freeway and Johnny Winters knew at that time that I had to come back to California and there's no way I could be in New York he said now we got to tape these next next Tuesday so I said something like Mr Dirk and I'm very flattered but I I can't be here he said what he said well I can't be here and he got started to turn nasty he says that's just like you West Coast guys I'm in New York you do a little local piddling show and you come back here and you think you're big shots and I'm practically in tears I said man and then finally he cut me off that shows you his sense of humor he's he's strange but he is one of the most imaginative and truly funny gentlemen every time I introduce him I don't know how the hell he's going to come out here who he's going to be so would you welcome please whoever Mr Johnny [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] well sir I I don't think I uh I don't think I got your name didn't you no I didn't sir buckettlehoffer I hope you don't mind either one of you if I choose oh no no sir well I always have ever since I was six years old I always had a bunch of stuff in the right side of my face yeah it's like ball players just like ball players do that nurse Bulls but it's always been fun for me is to get a little curd dog and do that you'll get their attention right away they just like this they can't see for about an hour yeah well Mr needlehofer is it needle Hopper needle Hopper yeah Buck where you from my buck originally yeah well sure uh I'm originally from Shawnee Run Wyoming working way into Chicago then I went up into Manitoba with a wheat and my machine just a lot of Machinery cut weight up there for a while he got into salmon and uh very serious very serious never laugh at a salmon person grab a treble hook into your face boy I'll tell you I know you're tight with this man but you laugh when a man sat his hands in Cannery most of his life there's another reason to chew all right you've had a uh you've worn many hats I wore many hats I think in I think in society a man has to wear many hats that's true I bet there's a senator tonight somewhere is wearing a lot of them yeah uh anyway no no you were in the ranching business now I was in the ranching business now and I have been for the last 22 years now come out of Mining College when I was 50. what you call a slow student slow learner but I just told them toward Dan give me some dynamite and we'll find the damn stuff so I come out there and there was a Miss uh luggage this luggage yeah Miss uh Alan lugridge a woman who had lost her legs believe it or not due to uh woodpeckers that's even worse but sad well it's sad but it's good and it was a conversation piece that got her into a local paper and that's all she ever wanted out of life and uh her legs looked wooden apparently to the birds oh I see and uh they ate their legs away oh my God and so I propped her up there in bed at the place and um you know a good set of pillars and a good Zenith in your own business so uh here Sunday week we come into a flash flood oh no yeah we've got 3 600 acres there 3 600 acres and only two cows that was always her humor so when we found them they were skeletons and uh water took the guys in the bunk house had been at her whiskey and uh it took them there was 17 of them and they found them in unusual possessions um guy up there on a tree like this another man laid back obviously saying what the hell um a little slash floods come in immediately and you'll have to yeah let's make a run for it well the dam broke oh which we never knew was in back of that ranch and you know you think you go up here to fish but we never did go back up and there and somebody got the plane in the dam and broke it well it's nice to have you well it's real good to be here too foreign [Applause] [Music] I remembered that I've had a lot of malfunctions on both sides but I I I I I I do remember that I remember one time several years ago a very short story will condense it quickly if a commercial should come up I'll go with it anyway uh but anyway a guy came into my house and uh I don't I haven't hunted anything in a long time World War II we hunted constantly and uh and we did see two what we were destined to be Toyota dealers and we we scared him anyway no Henry I I shot some squirrels you know coming out of the service you had to do something because my wife couldn't get the washer to work and I she said just go out go out you know and do something so I went out and killed something and uh so I I got a couple of squirrel and and uh some pheasant and yeah then that put that aside and decided I'd never kill anything again you know and uh so a guy came into my house here a few years ago and my wife had given me a wonderful uh zebra rug what she got on sale right and uh I don't think she would you know indifference to her you're a wonderful woman and a wife of course a mother of my two children so I have to go along with that and uh I think the the sad thing with the tail was missing and when you have a tail missing on anything it's not good uh because you're going oh what's happened to the tail you always have to explain this she got it on sale now my Tail's gone you know and it's like it's like a bear rug without the head come on man that's a bargain it's a bargain you know where's the head of the bear went through the wall so uh a guy came in and he said did you kill this well right away you know that thing looms up in his face right right to bear arms uh killer you know he's been dating Gretchen wild or something and so uh at any rate um he looked down he said did you kill this zebra and I said yes I did yep oh God did you kill it in Africa nice at all there's no reason to go to Africa no a companion to myself I got in a I don't know used Chevy a little pickup and uh threw in a heavy duty you know one of those Clint Eastwood numbers and uh slipped out under the seat and uh went on down to San Diego went in the zoo around two o'clock in the morning with six packs for the guys on the other guy give it to me so uh later fast 50 and let him win in haha he gave one look at us to zebra you know and it annoys a man his tail automatically fell off so the guy bought this what the guy bought it I actually I want to tell the people out there I I did not do that but I told him that and he left almost immediately some language we got to do this oh of course we do oh if I drink that regularly instead of huh instead oh here's there are times when we would have both savored this listen laughs Benny when I call John on the phone the other day I says um why don't you just come on there's a lot of stuff going on as you know on television every day and I thought maybe uh I'd give you a little hat or something and introduce you as one of the Witnesses in the in the hearings sure and you could explain uh what's happening it's probably the greatest soap opera in the world it's just fantastic and I think that it's happening here in America all right General uh Richard Discord didn't call me dick all right dick you fought for your country in the World War II now you're a retired Major General pretty much so I'd like to wear my hat and tell him drummed out right tell me General the diversion of funds to the countries there seems to be a trail from Switzerland uh to Iran back to the contrast did you have any personal knowledge of the diversion of funds and did you profit for many of those monies at all that's a long question I just want you to take your time General well I'll certainly do that um I would say that's a two or three partner well let's take the first part did you know about the diversion of funds a little bit a little bit let's go ahead with it what's the rest of it all right did you know that the funds were being diverted to the countries no I had no word of that no knowledge that there were any countries or san anistas as a matter of fact myself a guy called Ted and um another guy called Carl and Bob right and toward the end of um 84 84 and a half almost 85 85. decided we were going to buy and a very wealthy man in Texas Managua no we we have no information on that at all good good well that's that was our he was a side goodie I see did you profit personally from this at all I've never profited personally from anything except my first marriage my wife saw to it that I got through West Point and at times took my classes at Annapolis um I'm very proud of my country I'm very proud of my present I'm very proud of my children even though they're living in Ecuador now uh that's about it if I had to do over again sir yes may I have your name please Senator Billman Senator Billman oh yeah well thank you General and we may call you back again tomorrow thank you [Music] why don't you do something that has nothing to do with uh the hearings at all good all right I'll just introduce you here this is great good ball player always does this yeah works the bill yeah if it's like this he's a truck driver it looks like this he's been hit by a truck if it's like this he's catching not so hard if he's like this I'll get it for something so wait where's it like this yes that's right yes sir so your whip Willis the legendary legendary baseball star of the 30s I'd say pretty much a legend in my own time John I'm Still A Legend I'm still uh throwing that uh series of things through and I'd like to point that out I'm 65 years old 65. yeah yeah I'm sort of a Caucasian Satchel Page my goodness could you go out there do you think of in the Old Timers game and still pitch a couple of complete timers to me or a pain in a you know yeah and I suppose you can't say that I'm gonna tell you baby but I don't care I like to play with young people keep your mind up it keeps the heart moving and your eyes my eyes I I still see them it I still see the man's fingers you know that that he uses they hold them over here you know and um so um sometimes I just told him hold that money clip with the money that's a little humor for a baseball person well speaking of money now you you played in the days when ball players didn't make a lot of money today players get a million dollars or so you do you get any officers to do say commercials for television beer commercials or something like that I bet a lot of offers and I've read for these things but I've never got them and uh I think that uh I don't know what it is maybe it's my reading I I'm not an actor I am a ball player right and I'd like to bring this out to the boys and girls of America right now and there are a lot of girls I'm I'm working with girls and always have been because I have a more of an interesting girls and I do both I see okay oh yeah oh yeah and I have my own girls softball club and we take them all over Middle America and have them throw softball and also have Hardball and my step daughters I have four of them oh yeah I didn't do too good on the fourth marriage and I have four step daughters I'm trying to put through uh uh they're put through animal husbandry school and uh oh yeah unique yeah well they are and uh one dresses is a bear play second base and uh you can tell that she's got a lot of work ahead of her but uh no I I throw a I throw a curve right this if you're watching now please this is a curve that's curable yeah you have to do this with people this is a knuckler knuckler this is actually arthritis [Laughter] it's nice to see you again happy retirement here now we're going to talk just briefly to an average citizen of the United States and your name sir is Elaine uh Second Face Wayne's Second Face what do you what do you call home Wayne Uh whales no I'm kidding uh we're whales decent yeah people are from Wales originally in Scotland and also Istanbul yeah with everything that's going on today all the accusations made the improprieties in government how do you feel about your country boy improprieties yeah um well I feel it I feel the country is suffering immensely from uh in tremendous lies tremendous lies have been laid on us lies lies lies like lies but I have lied most of my life now let me say this a lie is a lie but when you get upwards of 60 you better stop lying uh not that I'm you know afraid of going up or down it's just in case I go up and uh I think so whatever you ask me and I'm touching you for a reason just like this God you're a really good looking man well thank you man you live alone do you win well sometimes it's getting tougher and tougher to have them come up to the third floor I hate to see a grown woman 38 years old shimmy up a green pipe yeah anyway you're from finally originally from Wales well not a reason I was kidding about that oh I see oh when you're out there all year round on the farm well you have a farm yeah I have a farm I have over 13 acres well now that's not big by most standards well it's where it is oh where's the farm it's actually Albion Albin God I wish I could think where it is just before I come here I was struck by lightning foreign with the lightning hitting the lightning didn't hit the plane come through the window well that's bound to affect your memory but anytime you come where I'm from look me up I certainly will thank you Wayne it's nice to have you here tonight and we'll be back

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 1,393,446

Keywords: episode, best, funny, youtube, funny videos, comedy, laugh, funniest, stand up, comedian, hilarious, stand up comedy, johnny carson, tonight show, humor, sketch, johnny carson bloopers, johnny carson show, johnny carson animals, johnny carson monologue, johnny, carson, tonight, show, funny video, best of johnny carson, funniest moments johnny carson

Id: PE7tTVW5THA

Length: 17min 43sec (1063 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 20 2023