Jonathan Winters Carson Tonight Show 13/4-1989

I I enjoy Jonathan winters I really do I've known him for a long time I never know what he's gonna do he's a superb talent and he's got a show a Showtime special called Jonathan winters and Friends that premiers this Saturday night would you welcome mr. Jonathan winters yo I want to tell you Johnny don't worry about the tanker I'm sorry I'm sorry I was sleeping the next thing a little hard but it is finished in a photo well it like my face and moon the truth no I'm in future you were not on door oh that's why you were not at the helmet no I always met the helm I uh I probably should have been but now I'm on the cruise ship and I'm a good time being a full-time womanizer but gonna see you again wait good decision I have no idea what you were gonna do before you walk out here I didn't either I saw that poor devil go in the water and yeah that's see it on he's a big guy he's not he's like I am better looking man I think you're a fine looking man well if I and you're an attractive man [Music] well we certainly covered that is this your new inner bar let's don't let this slip into something shorter [Music] let this vide why do I take you home to mother she's gonna allow when you came out with it I'm reminded my Navy days goes uh normally a flag officer you don't have that's right the scrambled eggs on the Hat I bought this wear a lot of hats an antique shop antique show I think was a show here in California and it's the Cunard Line uh uh I guess there are these two operty by Manchester ours I know I usually go down to Long Beach on a Saturday afternoon and see what's happening you know whether they're going in or coming out or whatever uh and of course if a guy does fall then I grab his hat okay but it's kind of fun I you were not a sailor oh no no I was good I don't know I was a Marine Green Green yeah 10450 Semper Fi always always faithful isn't it always face yeah always ready I'd avoid never piranhas who's the other that's Coast Guard right yeah they were right there what's the Boy Scouts Boy Scouts yeah I think Boy Scouts is is pretty much this boy and when they get older it's still added three fingers you know let's do it [Music] for your real boy scout at all no I was not a Boy Scout I wanted to be my mother was um I I went to her at that time uh I was a little old to I I thought I'd be a shoo-in I was almost 16 last year oh yeah a little old and I thought best reason I'd stand a better chance so I went to her and I said I'd like to be an Eagle Scout and she said well you just don't walk in as an eagle you have to be a cub you're too old to be a cub but merit badges all no merit badges and I said well at least I'd like to be a Boy Scout and she said well do you have money for a uniform and of course I never had money for anything I accept a knife that I had in my boots I had high tops always had that and I for many I still carry it you know what I'm driving I'll be driving after the show and I have a good-sized rascal yeah but that isn't you know so and somebody sticks their finger up in the air so I'm being says something unattractive or sideswipes me always hey man are you done yeah little bit of violence you know so you never became a Boy Scout no I never became a Boy Scout I just there were so many areas that I failed in we talked a little bit about you're from the Midwest Ohio man I'm the Midwest which is considered you know right are they come to about this time of the year spring surprise back there remember girls what you do with the girls on yuria I think I remember girls in the winter to Twitter to course I didn't mean at you I was looking forward to spring yeah and but no I well I I was a kid again I had a lot of chores plus the fact that I remember Sunday school I was I was asked constantly stop thinking about it all and that was a sin yes sir well I guess it was a sin yeah and you see who always said you know God is in my mind and the devil's in my pants hahaha Oh any rate I I was I was a kid I was enough I wasn't a Lech I wasn't a horny keyring I can I was just gonna always woo once you open the eyes and you're considered bad news y'all hi Betty Jean [Music] I think we're always named something like Betty Jean always Betty oh yeah and it was always no no no what is this no no no no all right then try a smaller size do you respect me tomorrow I know that's where you receive respect me one thing I I did I made a terrible terrible move I've only done this once my life yeah of course I've been married so long now all this is behind me oh boy is it behind Harry one time in high school I saw getting ready to go away anyway and this wonderful gal she really a beautiful gal our dad was a cop hi I'd give her name out but I'm sure he's still alive cops have a way of living longer name by really unless of course you know it's a shootout even when he had white hair was hey you know I have no neck okay and then inna pump that rascal [Music] so I never laid a hand on her um however BOTS do go through your mind once you're out of town and we were going to a drive-in theater and um it was about drive-ins ya know more yo buddy listen boy that's uh those are fun pads you know on so I had this little fun car with a stick shift you know I miss a stick shift it was down on the floor yeah yeah yeah yeah and they were awkward to of course you know moving those things and bending them a lot so at any rate I turn to this girl and we drove we would seen the movie full attract both attractions or double header double feature and we pulled out and we were about a mile away from the drive-in there's Dave you driving always remember that and I turned to her and I said Polly I'd stop the car and I said I'm crazy about you and I I love you and I know you've dated a lot of guys which she had about 56 guys she'd been through baseball teams Wow football anyway lovely girl maintained her figure and so I said to her just give me a big kiss typical of a kid you know a young boy and I said give me a big kiss I really need that if nothing else and then I said something else because I became excited and I said if you don't get out and take a walk and she got out and I felt sorry for it was quite chilly and we're at least two eight miles from town you know take a walk it's very crude and I can understand where women and young girls especially young men for saying something like that you know come on I want something yeah so I said I apologize and she cold-cocked me broke my jaw and for place late oh boy did I I don't like it you'll never forget strong woman yes we'll be right back [Music] [Applause] reminiscing about growing up in the Midwest did you have a relatively happy childhood I had an unusual child it was always are you here again what is it what is it now well I just came in for some love we're going to look sorry I brought that here's a little affection huh I must say I I was an only child and I I'm getting very close now to where I'm almost stopping complaining about my childhood entirely which is very tough uh but the thing is it's true I mean you know if you're making a good living and you got a family or wife and the house it's very close to being paid for uh just about like things aren't so bad that things aren't Seban I got a car you know I'm and a wild beast in the yard we don't know what it is but it's when Asians last away and we've been on a track instead but what we have done we took a taxidermist did some little bizarre no animal hours and I love animals don't lay that I know that I love animals but when when scrabbles uh not Scrabble Scrabble I don't know yea or nay burn and name it he's an alcoholic but he's travelers [Music] we took bicycle flare the the reflectors and put that in the animals eyes boy when you see that rascal coming down yeah something so you must have picked up your bizarre sense of humor from somewhere in your family mmm who's your mother father a grandfather and my mother had a great set c/y a few mind too very very funny lady yeah and three very tough very she was in show business she was in a small radio station but funny but funny yes funny she said some to me which has carried through my life and it's a little something I'd like to pass along to you perhaps if you're you know just drop Reader's Digest there in the Pullman car number 38 um my mother turned to me one time and she said maybe I've mentioned this on the air before and if I have way raise your hands but she said would you like to be an intellectual and I always want to be because I was very slow as labeled dumb in number classes so coming out of the war and everything I thought she's would be fun to be an intellectual you know at least to take a crack at it and she said always read the end of every book forget about the beginning forget about the middle read the end and remember to move constantly among the hors d'oeuvres and a little patter that's going on a cocktail party so it's somebody come up hola hi HN the to fate did you read the the lavender a beaver what's not in it interesting thing with a man that escaped to Minsk and I oh yes I did read that fascinating book and of course the star he was stabbed 16 times in the forehead and then fell forward on a used paper I think it was New York Times uh fascinate excuse me I want to get some more dirt just through in the last finish for the book and move on and move on yeah so she helped me with that my grandfather was guy kind of guy he was funny yeah uh he he'd been a banker and he said bankers are not funny they're wealthy but they have their have no sense of humor and he said tellers you know her like this and and they're really like that of course if somebody does this oh but he he was funny and he said he said just thinking and he loved show business yeah he never got into it but he said the great thing about children is you can be any body you want to be I mean of course that's not true we know that John other a lot of things I want to be the thing is it's important to know where you're playing all the world is not a stage might have been when Willie was alive you know ah but if you start playing out here about three blocks away class to Edna's or Chad knees wrists and directing traffic and all right okay Bob all right the Flying Saucer come in mr. winters you used to do those kind of things in gs all the world was a stage all the world was a stage also all the men were in heavy white with a red cross under don't do that no more got it just seemed months after how are we doing today I mean how are we doing I want to get out [Music] well you will when you get well I'm well here shoot telling well I feel great Joe returned [Music] [Applause] you

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Id: LAZCjKDbcvQ

Length: 13min 47sec (827 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 25 2016