Jojo's Makes Zero Sense. And It's Hilarious

ge's Bizarre Adventure is a show that is incredibly beloved by many it is also incredibly dumb and I mean that in the kindest way possible that's kind of part of its charm it's called jorg's Bizarre Adventure after all of course there's going to be weird stuff happening so instead of doing a deep dive analysis into the complex plot and themes of the show like I usually do I'm just going to make fun of it also it should probably go without saying but these aren't serious critiques I just made this video because I thought it'd be funny it should go without saying but I wanted to make that very specifically clear it's the 1800s the place England and it's typical of a Shany it starts off with the main character's mom being dead but the dad isn't he miraculously survived the terrible crash but then an ugly bastard comes along who definitely isn't evil and the dad mistakes him as someone who was trying to save him mistakenly believing that he owes him his life and since the dad's also Rich of course the bad guy goes along with this but instead of the bad guy cashing in on his favor like a smart person would he instead holds on to it and does nothing wasting away the rest of his miserable life before giving it to a son and proceeding to die and then we introduced to the main character of our story Jonathan joar the son of the rich mustache man as well as our main antagonist Dio Brandon the son of the ugly bastard now I must say the first few episodes of the show are actually fairly normal of course there's some strange and Fantastical elements but it's still within the realm of what you expect in a Shan story but there's still something really funny about finishing the entire anime and going back to the beginning because you see all the things that di does in the later parts and you kind of forget and go wow he must have really hated the Joe stars to be fighting them for this long why was that again what exactly did the Joe stars do to him to make him this is mad and why is it exactly he's trying to take over the world and all that and then you go back to the start and realize there is no reason he's just an [ __ ] the guy rocks up to Jonathan's doorstep and the first thing he does is kick his dog anytime he sees something that makes JoJo happy he goes nah bro we can't have that it's de time and then he proceeds to ruin his life this man dedicates his entire life to being the biggest hater on the planet for just this one guy and it's literally just for the sake of being petty this isn't just regular old resentment of him being rich and spoiled while he was poor he's actively going out of his way to be as comically evil as possible he was just born that way and that's very funny to me anyway the first episode mostly consists of Dio ruining JoJo's life in multiple ways he's basically the kid who's actually a total scumbag but pretends to be a goody two shoes in front of the adult he ruins JoJo's social life frames him in front of his dad forcefully kisses his girlfriend and when Joo gets angry at this jumps over the fountain and successfully beats him up deer turns around and kills his dog holy crap the reason for this is that araqi the offer loves dogs which is why he makes his villain kill dogs so that he can show just how evil they are but as an unfortunate consequence of this he ends up doing this a lot because there are so many villains which LEDs some people to questioning why Iraqi likes killing dogs so much anyways one thing that's constantly being hinted at through all these first couple episodes is this spooky looking Stone mask and every time blood gets on it it goes spiky this becomes important eventually the second episode starts and there's been a time skip everyone is an adult now including JoJo who now looks extremely muscular oh my God I'm sorry after getting used to his first design and then suddenly seeing him look like this I can't help but think of the Hulkbuster CGI thing his body's so huge but his head's so tiny I can't now at this point in the story Jonathan and Dio seems to be getting along a lot better it seems that Di has stopped being an [ __ ] for now and while JoJo is cool of it he still suspects that something's up meaning he has more intuition and Common Sense than everyone in part three but JoJo doesn't do anything about it for now his dad is mysteriously sick and they're not sure what to do about it which is very worrying but one day JoJo accidentally bumps the shelf and finds a letter from Dio's Dad one where he describes also being sick and it just so happen happens to be the exact same symptoms as JoJo's dad now meaning Dio's dad didn't die on his own he was poisoned rushing out to confront him he catches Dio swapping the medicine he was about to give to his dear old dad JoJo asked to see the medicine but Dio was very suspiciously resistant to that for some reason making it out to be all if you check the medicine then you're doubting the validity of our friendship like no he has plenty of reason to be suspicious he just saw you swap it for some reason jar actually thinks this is solid logic but he counes it with an okay then swear on your Dad's life and then punches him in the face this confirms JoJo's suspicions for obvious reasons so after making sure his dad doesn't take anything from anyone other than the Butlers he goes off to London to get the medicine checked meanwhile Dio is angry but forms a plan he thinks if he can get the stone m to go spiky mode and kill Jonathan it would look like an accident and he'd be in clear this is actually pretty good plan since jger was experimenting with it before meanwhile jger has arrived at London but has now been cornered by a bunch of fogs one of them tries stabbing him but he just straight up grabs the knife with his bare hands and he starts bleeding for some reason they see see this as admirable saying that him not caring about whether he gets hurt or not is what makes him powerful when realistically they should think he's a dumb idiot for putting his life in danger so easily but uh whatever stuck ain't you one quick yank of the knife and I'll be picking your fingers out of the snow for a fortnite try it then okay the moment you pull he still beats them up pretty easily but because he's a gentleman he only beats them up a little bit one of them could tell he was holding back which makes him even more impressed so despite everyone outnumbering Joo this man tells everyone to back off and leave him alone little did we know that this is how we're introduced to Robert's EO speed wagon the chattiest Chad in the west he also tells JoJo where the right place to go is meanwhile di instead of actually acting on the plan he just made like a smart prison would just gets drunk and kills a bunch of people he also accidentally ends up using the stone mask on one of them and this is where we finally discover what the stone mask actually does and that is it turns people into vampires yeah I'm not going to lie after all that Myster I was kind of hoping it to do something a bit crazier but whatever Theo comes back to the the house and enters but something was a miss the castle was dark something was wrong quickly Dio runs towards the kitchen and hardly checks the cupboards and shelves no it couldn't be where is it he steps back in horror Dio couldn't believe his eyes as a last resort he checks his secret stash flailing around in Panic please don't tell me his gamer Subs was all eaten gulp gulp gulp you thought it was your gamer Subs but it was me Jo Jojo Jojo you bastard this is Revenge Dio for all the terrible things you did when we were kids how does it feel how does it feel to have everything taken from you no you can't do this there was enough of it to last for Generations how much how much did you drink H do you remember how much bread you've eaten in your life GE the power of gamer flows through Jonathan's body he chases after him lambasting him with his Divine punishment JoJo then eats Dio and that is the end of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure this video is sponsored by gamerss the energy drink of all time have you ever wanted to grow twice your size and grow Rippling superhuman muscles like Jojo all with one drink well too bad you can't JoJo ingested way too much and turned into an Abomination instead but if you have a normal amount it's actually quite tasty you just scoop some powder into some cold water give it a good shake and you're good to go it's a great healthier alternative to energy drinks and soda since they have zero carbs sugar and are less than one calorie per serving and they also way more affordable since a single tub can last the ages they have a wonderful selection of waiu cups for you to choose from with a variety of different options but they also have such wonderful flavors such as anime go fies guacamole gamer fart 9,000 lemonade yeah I know right who even drinks lemonade and not only are they keto friendly and diabetic safe but if you want they also have caffeine free versions too I genuinely like their products and I've been wanting to partner with them for quite a long time if you use my code or Link in the description you can get a nice 10% off your order and it also helps me the more people use it so I very much appreciate it links down below I highly encourage you to check them out anyways back to the video at this point JoJo tells Dio the gig is up he's confirmed that the medicine was indeed poison has given his dad the antidote and now will be turning Dio over to the police and it should be mentioned that despite him doing this he really does care for Dio and it pains him to do so basically he's the original tandro Dio is mad but pretends that he isn't it is a ruse acting as if he regrets it all but is planning on stabbing Jonathan as soon as his back is turned then Speedwagon walks in and ruins his entire plan my man basically says that he knows how bad guys smell and that do stinks the dad was also listening the entire time he now knows the truth and is very disappointed in dio Dio then pretends to have given up asking that at the very least JoJo be the one to put on the handcuffs somehow this doesn't send off the alarm bells in joo's head and despite everyone screaming at him to be careful he does it anyways and gets his dad killed surprise the used the mask and is now a vampire and bullets do him no harm they scuffle for a bit setting the house on fire and jger tell speed bu it to run the two now finally facing off in a climactic battle now there are two things I want to mention here the first is that admittedly a lot of the time I was watching it especially in these early episodes I was just going I recognized that from the meme oh so that's where the reference came from oh my gosh guys he said the thing he said the thing and the second thing is about the fights and this is something that gets more more obvious in the later Parts but it's there from beginning to end which is that these fights feel less like real fights and more like children playing with action figures and I don't mean that in insulting way it just genuinely comes across like that the thing about a lot of Jojo fights is that even though they can differ wildly with the contents itself they all pretty much follow the same structure which is that character a will attack character B using a completely new attack we've never seen before and will probably never see again and then character B couns that by coming up with an arbitrary strategy that realistically shouldn't work but still has a 50% chance of working regardless if it makes sense and it repeats that for the entire fight I shoot you with my laser beam uh I've been hit now I'll use my dark magic to make him throw up his lunch well I knew you were going to do that so today he went to find on an empty stomach no he didn't yeah he did there's no way he h fine next I'll use super strength I punch the ground so hard that it makes you fall over my character sees you do this and jumps out exactly the right time and while it's still in the air he froz the sword of yog guy stabs them in the head and now you're dead and I win you can't D this is something that you especially recognize in part three where every single episode is a new fight and they just keep doing this over and over again but even in some of the earlier episodes you can still see this Jojo and Dio fight for a while and they end up on the roof and actually this was part of Jonathan's plan because next he leaps forward grabbing Deo so they both go falling into the Flames together with JoJo intending to sacrifice his life life so do can be stopped okay cool it should also be mentioned that this is quite literally the longest fall I've ever seen in human history so long in fact that they can have full length conversations monologues and even dramatic pauses this all resulting in this Gem of a line despite this Jonathan continues falling for an eternity long enough even for him to grab a knife that also happened to be coincidentally falling along beside him stab it into the wall use it to swing himself up and jump on it repelling him high enough to the point where he can almost reach do but misses so on his way down again he unbuckles his belt uses it to lasso Dio's leg and Yanks him down to fall with him this is still one of the more normal episodes Di's all like yeah we'll both fall in but only you'll die and not me and then JoJo kicks off the wall and uses their home statue to stab Dio through the back and kill him Dio screams and burns up and the force of an explosion causes JoJo to land outside the house I'm not quite sure how that would work but I'm not going to question it at this point all that matters is that JoJo has won and that Di has been defeated and is definitely dead remember how before I mentioned that the first few episodes are actually fairly normal yeah this is the point where it stops doing that next episode yay we're reunited with JoJo's girlfriend Arena while he's recovering in the hospital and then when they're out in a nice morning stroll we randomly bump into this peculiar fellow who somehow knows who they are he then flies 10 ft into the air and shoves a finger into Jonathan's stomach Jonathan then collapses in the FL out of breath and this causes broken arm to go twisty and crackly and now it's fixed this all happens with zero explanation at the time this man's name is Baron von zeppy a guy who likes to put pepper on his sandwiches and teaches JoJo the way of the Hammon a martial art that allows one to harness their breath and turn it into energy man this is starting to sound kind of familiar this is explained in a really complicated sounding way when it's actually pretty simple and he demonstrates his power by punching a frog and killing it he also makes some of the funniest noises when he's doing this for basically no reason ah [Music] a anyways the entire reason he's telling him this is because apparently Dio's still alive and has the stone mask and they need to destroy it before it does any more damage so zeppy trains him for a grand total of about 2 seconds before speed wagon shows up saying they found Dio so they leave immediately apparently they're out of time so JoJo's basically going to have to train and fight at the same time fortunately they don't have to wait very long because as soon as they enter a tunnel another fight starts turns out a muscular zombie was hiding in inside one of their horses and climbs out and attacks I have multiple questions if the horse was alive at first and was able to bring them that far was the zombie inside of it the entire time how how did the horse not die instantly why choose the inside of the horse sure surely there were easier methods of hiding from them am I missing something did he actually attack them from the outside first and just randomly crawl inside the horse only to come out again right after F achieving nothing why would he do that the show glosses over this completely and act as if it's perfectly normal because of course people just pop out of horses all the time it even happened to me last weekend and zeppy goes to fight him but first he's going to pour himself a glass of wine the zombie also stabs himself in a face for some reason I suppose he just thought it looked pretty threatening but right before Zepp goes to fight him he decides this is the perfect time to educate JoJo on the nature of fleas he gives a very long lecture on the nature of fleas I swear this analogy makes sense in context but I'm not going to explain it all here and It All Leads up to him kicking the zombie in the face all without spilling a single drop of his wine the zombie goes I'm going to kill you all before proceeding to run off like a coward and then zeppy gives JoJo the wine saying that if he spills a single drop of it he will abandon him and never train him again even leaving him with a Norwegian Court this time telling him that he too can become a viking I'm not making any of this up I swear anyways JoJo steadies his breathing and using the power of Hammon realizes he could sense the bad guy through the walls and gives him a super powerered punch all without spilling the wine meaning he has passed the test to become a viking the analogy makes more sense in context we are now halfway through JoJo part one and I have made the very big mistake of thinking this video was going to be short it's only going to be Nine episodes after all this should be cake ah they have now arrived at a new town and some random kids steals one of their important bags but JoJo uses his new found abilities to walk on water smash the Rocks the kid is climbing on and make him fall to his death no just kidding they catch him but the kid suddenly acts as if he has no idea who who they are or what's even happening now in this instance I would usually assume that the kid is a filthy liar who's trying to pretend his way out but surprise theer is here and he was probably using a sort of hypnosis on the kid to lure them there I don't remember him having hypnosis Powers the begins yapping on about world domination and all that jazz and the characters talk and I just have to say something that's been on my mind for a while now but the characters say literally everything that's on their minds there is zero subtext to anything anyone says if a character thinks it they say it and they explain it with great detail the dialogue feels like it was written for stage play more than anything especially with the way Dio talks about world domination and Jonathan's loud Declarations of how he believes in good and all that it's really interesting to see that despite its actual contents being so absurd it's still one of the most stereotypical trophy battle shown to ever exist so much to the point that it almost borders on parody like the combination of the undern noos dialogue along with the pure-hearted protagonist the power system and especially the way the fights always go and it's not just the fact that these things are in it but the way it's presented but the thing that gets me about all this is that was written in 1978 before these tropes were even a thing some of this stuff literally only makes sense to me because I know this is what shown in anime is like but by itself this stuff doesn't make sense usually you'd see the opposite happening where the origin of the Trope makes more sense but as time goes on people start subverting and exaggerating it like with Kos subba it becomes detached from its original meaning and doesn't make as much sense to anyone who isn't as familiar with the genre but this this started that way it was the first one but it's written in a way as if it's already familiar with the troopes like it's been done before [Music] [Music] genius and I'm definitely straight anyways Deo summons two new zombies from the year 1565 who used to be heroes and have a tragic backstory which I'm not going to get into it's actually pretty good though JoJo fights one of them while the other guy just kind of stands in front of the other characters and waits the first Warrior guy actually asked him to though since he wanted an honorable fight but it's still pretty funny and while they fight di does the classic villain move of conveniently leaving early because he's just that confident they're going to lose he's such a typical bad guy I swear he's got both hands behind his back bluefoot is giving nothing away which one is his sword arm neither his hair wields the blade his hair wields the blade anyways Jojo and the warrior dude fight for a little bit and there's one point where he uses hamon on him but the warrior declares the pain means nothing to him the warrior dude goes to slash him with a sword but JoJo doesn't move and he stops right before the sword hits him he knew that the warrior wasn't going to hurt him because he said he felt pain again the hamon gave him his Humanity back in an emotional scene the warrior thanks JoJo for making him feel at peace once again and before he goes he gives him the blessing of his sword luck but then he adds a pee with his blood to make it pluck that means courage somehow he then disappears and it's very tragic but then the other bad guy shows up and goes Stompy stomple over his remains right we forgot that he was still here and is still very much evil he stabs his sword into the floor which makes the floor fall and then Mr zeppy comes up with a bright idea to save them and I can't lie at the first time I watched this I was struggling okay I happen to be very tired and was probably half asleep so watching this next part that happens I almost felt like I was going [Music] insane I don't know what it is about this part specifically but I think this part broke my suspension of disbelief entirely I don't know if it's a goofy m music the way the characters are acting the way this guy's running or the entire damn concept of it but for whatever reason this was my breaking point they are using magic sunlight breathing Powers with Kung Fu poses to create a giant glider out of leaves to escape from a zombified musclean from 1565 with a tragic backstory who is currently chasing after them jer's Bizarre Adventure everybody I haven't and it really doesn't help that they didn't seem to ask establish any rules or limitations for how they're supposed to use Hammon so whenever they do something new of it it just feels like the show is pulling stuff out of its butt it's just the power that does things I'm still not sure where those things end but it definitely does things this next part is actually admittedly not that ridiculous and is actually fairly dark and intense so I'm mostly going to go over that part super quickly in essence Jonathan gets trapped in a death chamber and we learn zeppi's backstory and that he's faded to die in combat in the next episode zeppo dies sacrificing his life to save Jojo and they ultimately defeat the other Warrior and Dio back at his castle is about to kill a woman and her child but she begs him to spare the baby so he promises that neither he nor his men will harm the baby but instead he turns her into a zombie causing her to eat her own baby which is a million times more horrifying but does a great job of portraying how evil this guy is so Props for that we go back to the rest of the gang who are still continuing with their Journey despite them mourning for zeppo they encounter a zombie which makes them realize the town has been taken over by Di and they must hurry but then they bump into zeppi's old friends who he had previously sent a letter to asking for the help the next episode begins with Dio about to kill poco's sister who was the kid they saved before but of course Jonathan joar with his gentlemanly way sweeps in to save her the monster attacks him but what JoJo doesn't realize is that it's actually made up of venomous snakes which bite him but never fear he can simply squeeze out the Venom with his muscles and he beats the monster up easily the time has finally come Jojo and Di will now finally face off against each other JoJo fighting to avenge all the people who were killed and Dio being evil but first D wants to try he immediately dies I guess that Thunder cross split attack didn't help him after all also that's what you get for trying to be the main character what do you mean you have more reason to hate him even JoJo is confused by that statement anyways Dio's dehydration freeze move has gotten so powerful that he can now freeze people's entire bodies in an instant shattering D before anyone can do anything but before he goes out D's lone head grabs a rose infuses it with Hammon energy and flings it at Doo's face stabbing him right in the eye this has just revealed to Jojo a powerful secret a way he could use Hammon to defeat di surely he would keep this information to himself and use it to his Advantage why are you telling him basically JoJo is going to use the sword the warrior dude gave him with luck and pluck and Infuse it with Hammon and when he stabs di with it he will be di no more the rest of the guys who joined him start fighting Dio's goons meaning they're all occupied so now Jojo and Di can finally have their Final Duel they of course stare at each other for a bit and Di leaps but JoJo HS a bunch of roses at di which the dist racts him as he attacks him in a panic and JoJo uses this opportunity to approach Dio from his Blind Side and stab him a strategy that works as he cuts off deo's arm and slices him in half but Dio isn't down for the count just yet since he uses his dehydration freeze move once again freezes The Sword and then sticks his fingers into JoJo's neck poisoning him to become a zombie as he's stuck in place but JoJo manages to melt the ice because there happen to be a torch behind Dio which he it up the sword and unfroze everything in the process JoJo attempts to Ham on punch Dio but as soon as his fist makes contact it freezes his arm instantly truly it seems that pesky dehydration freeze move of his is Unstoppable Dio also has tentacles now but JoJo believes that if a man has Faith he can accomplish anything he squeezes the poison out with his muscles again and does another hon punch but this time while spinning around he lights his glove on fire with the torch even putting both hands together charging at him to make it a double punch man I got to say this really is the sort of thing that you'd imagine as a young kid JoJo spinning around with his punch and putting both his fists together really does doesn't make it more powerful at all but like as a kid in your imagination it does Doo attempts to freeze it once again but because of the fire it doesn't work meaning J's double punch manages to get through punches di through the stomach and sends him flying off the cliff as he disintegrates but before he goes Di has laser beams now and JoJo narrowly avoids getting hit before di finally plunges to his Doom meaning once again Dio has finally been defeated and is definitely 100% dead this time right in the next episode it's revealed that Dio is not in fact dead because on his way down Dio chopped off his own head before the Heron reached it so while he's now just ahead he's still alive baby back with the JoJo gang things are peaceful once again they finally destroyed the stone mask and after some time passes Jonathan and Arena get married speed wagon and the rest say goodbye to Jonathan and Arena as they depart for their honeymoon on a boat but in the background there is this mysterious coffin shaped box that some people are taking in which they are doing because they were paid to at the last minute I know all of this because they literally explain it to us out loud despite the fact that every single one of them already know this this guy says nothing and they still take it in now for the past 20 minutes or so I've been talking about how weird the show is and mostly just making fun of it it was still clearly at the stage where it's trying to figure things out which is why part one is generally viewed as one of the weaker parts of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and I agree with that but I will say that despite all of that this last episode was actually pretty good in fact I'd say it's even quite beautiful basically the boat departs and Jonathan and Arena spend some time together peacefully but this is interrupted by Jonathan noticing one of Dio's henchmen in the background chasing after him he tells Arena to get to safety but some of the people in the boat are already starting to turn into zombies this results in Jonathan confronting Deo who now has actually gone to respect JoJo with him now being the only person in the world he admires and since he needs a new body he plans to kill Jonathan and use his body as his own there's a scuffle where Deo shoots his laser beams which pierces Jonathan's throat and he can't breathe but Jojo uses the very last of his hamon to strike the henchmen causing their body to grab onto the gears of the boat and not let go which causes the steam to start building up which will eventually cause the ship to explode the zombie outbreak is getting worse spreading to almost everyone on the ship all that's left is a baby and Arena who has just shown up to find JoJo on the ground and is even willing to die with him on that ship but Jonathan still barely breathing tells her to take the child and Live dear meanwhile tries summoning the zombies to stop the gas buildup but before they can do that an explosion happens with a dying Jojo protecting Arena and the baby and getting stabbed by the shrapnel as a result something I noticed and actually really appreciated about the scene is that for a while there's no music playing it's framed in a way that's surprisingly grounded compared to the rest of these episodes and there's no out of nowhere powers that we've never seen before either but dier hasn't given up yet planning on still taking Jonathan's body again using the box as a shelter from the explosion he still tries to attack but Jonathan stops him just holding Dio in his arms with acceptance he looks at ARA and manages to tell her to find happiness dear tries negotiating with Jonathan telling him that he can also give him immortality if he lets him go but then he looks up and sees that it's too late Jonathan joar is dead the ship finally explodes and all that's left is aena and the baby drifting along the ocean in the box and Dio is definitely the morning comes and she is now hopeful towards the future intending to pass a long Jan story to his descendants including both the baby she holds in her arms and the one still growing inside her she gets rescued 2 days later putting an end to Jonathan's story but is the beginning of a new Bizarre Adventure my name is Brendon Riley thank you guys so much for watching and you know after all things considered that was a pretty satisfying ending but seriously why was he inside that horse that's right nerds yand is one you can all suck it Joseph joar may be able to use hon in a stand but he can't use the power of YouTube cringe stunned you Platinum I Brandon Swear to protect the Yuri to always care for the Yuri to never disappoint the Yuri thank you and bless the Yuri Gods you thought it was a submission but it was me [Music] Doo

Channel: Brandon Talks

Views: 316,098

Keywords: anime video essay, analysis, video essay, anime analysis, jojo, jojo part 1, jojo's bizarre adventure, battle tendency, phantom blood, comedy, review, commentary, jojo's, jojo's part 1, jonathan joestar, joenathan joestar, brandon talks, brandon talks jojo, brandon talks jojo's bizarre adventure, jojo's review, jojo's bizarre adventure review, jojo's bizarre adventure recap, dio brando, dio brandon, jojo part 1 recap, jojo's part 1 recap, jojo summary part 1, jojo in a nutshell

Id: yLHrnzlXdBo

Length: 27min 58sec (1678 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 30 2024