It Came From Tumblr #88 | Binge Compilation

all right we're gonna get this one right we're gonna do this on the first try first try baby let's go let's do it all right come on it's a big all right let's play randomized nezlac [Music] [Laughter] what do you mean occasionally checking my work in progresses to see if they started spontaneously generating words isn't the same as writing the mitochondria is the girl boss of the cell in seventh grade i went to see a movie with a boy in the middle of it he was like do you want to kiss and i was like excuse me and he pulled a bag of hershey kisses out of his coat do you realize what a good backup plan that is yes yes i too love tumblr's favorite actors me chicales david tennant and benedict cumberbatch we've turned mispronouncing bidet canker sore's name into a popular enough joke that merely saying his name correctly is now legitimately a funny punchline we've delved too deep into this joke there's no escape tell my children i love them the police pull my lifeless body from a lake but i'm wearing the funniest hat that they've ever seen that they can't stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water where did opie go blake there's a blind man here tuning my piano and he keeps making blind jokes and i quote you know when people ring me up they ask if i can fix their piano i like to tell them i'm so good i can do it without looking sometimes people ask why i became a piano tuner i tell them it's because they wouldn't let me become a pilot okay but those are both really good my professor told me that i'm failing ethics class so i slid 20 across the table and said what about now wink wink guys no what the [ __ ] i just looked at the time about 20 minutes ago and it said 1 50 a.m now it's just 1 12 a.m guys what is happening guys i'm not joking send help i actually think there is something wrong with me so i've been notified that this is daylight savings times carry on no no no no no no no no should i kill someone or have a cup of tea did you mean should i kill someone and have a cup of tea oh yes my mistake thank you love when someone's like are you talking to yourself and it's like yeah i'm in a meeting with myself and this [ __ ] has a lot to say but sometimes that [ __ ] could just be an email yeah my friend asked me to make an image hold on hold on check this [ __ ] [ __ ] congress i was at the movies watching catching fire and just before finnick appears for the first time some guy yelled out where's fennick and then there was a collective shh from the rest of the cinema but then a few seconds later finnick appears and the guy goes oh there he is and i think everyone in the cinema just choked on their popcorn you know i am what the kids call attention seeking and now a test behold if you saw the alphabet you're likely straight if you saw key smash you're likely gay holy i'm feeling really attacked right now such raw power doesn't even need a straw he's just sucking the water up through the air and what the [ __ ] did he think mowgli could teach him i have breaking news lo-fi hip-hop girl gave up the entire wow look volcanoes this is this neat what do you think we should name this place guy making it really obvious he doesn't want to be here boring lava field oregon it's canon now super villains announcing their plans is actually a union thing so they can't be sued for damages someone else may commit at the same time no your honor i clearly stated that i would be using my freeze ray to weaken and shatter the federal bank vault door as my weapon as you call it it was only designed to create cold i cannot be held accountable for this woman's burn injuries clearly caused by another supervillain's lava gun you are certain that it was another device that caused this woman's injuries yes your honor witnessed it myself would you tell me the name of this other supervillain oh no ma'am union code snitches get stitches why aren't you exploring the ocean it's literally right underneath us you can send a robot a million miles into space looking for aliens but not into the giant void that takes up the majority of the earth we live on please don't skate nasa knows nasa has seen the dark beneath nasa's urgency to leave the planet grows ever stronger have y'all ever had communion bread that was just so nasty like i know we have to suffer as christians but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ my old shirts use hawaiian bread my stand is high some old housemates of mine were syrian orthodox at their church different members of the church took turns making the bread that would be consecrated for the eucharist this was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread this led to a memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest who had not seen the bread until that moment declaring this except for the raisins is the body of christ except for the race oh my god well raisins are just dried grapes though and wine is his blood so really it's like a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner except for jesus i'm sorry just like a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner except for jesus honey i hate to break this to you but if blood is wine is inside the body is bread then that's just a regular ass human body behold a man casual reminder that nani was on her way to becoming a professional surfer before her parents died and she had to drop everything to look after lilo how did i not know this in germany we don't say i don't care we say dacism worst which roughly translate as this is sausage to me and i think that's beautiful no you don't understand we actually do do that i crashed my car into a bridge this is sausage to me the lack of context here is thrilling it's introductory python programming course yes but the plot twist they're cobras to the prankster who put the moon as the address on their online pizza delivery order thanks a whole dang lot i was up there for like 10 minutes just aimlessly waiting ringing the doorbell and kicking moon rocks around ugh waste my time 20 21. fun fact this is orlando's legit impression of johnny it wasn't originally scripted was there like is there even a script for this film every time i see a post about pirates of the caribbean they're like this wasn't scripted by now i'm just like 70 sure they just released orlando kira and johnny into the caribbean and told them to pretend it was the 1700s i mean yay um i think they're dry oh this place is haunted haunted oh [ __ ] now serious imagine banana with any other vowel bono no beanie me banana what was the original purpose for this website because something went wrong along the way don't you just love how mental disorders are basically buy one get seven free i don't even really want the first one my mom made me buy it mine's a family heirloom passed down through generations i [ __ ] hate it the absolute worst thing a fictional character can do is admit to liking a food because the fandom will make that their entire personality for the rest of time how [ __ ] did we even get to a point where purple guy from fnaf likes toast how do we do that boy if you don't give me my gender back right this minute why i ah that goddamn tompkins kids is running off with agendas again that little scamp okay we're settling this discourse right now put your zodiac sign in the tags and if you like or dislike pineapple on pizza mint ice cream creamer mint chocolate ketchup and mac and cheese or fries dipped in ice cream okay i'm a pisces definitely love pineapple pizza mint ice cream's pretty baller fries dipped in ice cream that [ __ ] what's up but who the [ __ ] puts ketchup in mac and cheese where's the serotonin silly i am the serotonin come here you oh oh hi i'm back well i for one like roman numerals oh we're off to a good start wax museum but one of the dudes is real and they don't tell you who you're not the girl boss of me i want a divorce you're a terrible male life fine i'm keeping the gate though wait what kate architects think they're so creative have you ever tried thinking outside the box no like literally your building is just like any other and a square foundation and next to that is another square of the building new york is just a bunch of squares with streets in between hey hey i you can't call us out like that because it's the truth do you ever stop to realize that the average person doesn't know what a ship is or what cannon means we probably all just sound like pirates and nods i'm begging you not to invent muppet racism please please me and the boy's up at 3am inventing muppet racism didn't technically avenue q kind of dabble into that someone in my younger siblings class said they were yandere for them and my sibling responded first of all cringe second of all red flag and no phrase has entered my daily lexicon so fast bigfoot but fully shaved mr clean posts like these are why i'm anxiety if you've heard of writer's block get ready for readers black you want to read you have time you know what to read or how have a pile of books ready to be read you cannot sit still and focus enough to do so and you can't even open the book thanks i hate it i wonder if my ancestors are smiling upon me sometimes you making a little thing with clay the ghost of atrolopathicus yes yes yes yes wait gays can read guys what does that say i don't know one of my favorite character archetypes is small cue character that is horrifyingly powerful in their canon i mean look at this these children have fought little gods and one well one is a being made of two different gods and also living primordial ooze able to kill the biggest god in the setting one with a soul that is equivalent to every single monstrous soul combined with the power of mental time travel through sheer force of will and one that is apparently born of dark matter able to disintegrate anything and integrate anything into himself and they're all non-binary conclusion non-binary people are strong enough to kill god love it howdy may i offer you a cup of warm boy yes you can thank you my friend asked me why i keep a shotgun in the kitchen i told him it was for decepticons he laughed i laughed the toaster laughed i shot the toaster good times good times man if i were witch i'd simply turn people into things for fun i'd be a total [ __ ] a [ __ ] [ __ ] so no change then damn straight the fact that 2021 begun with a sea shanty renaissance and three months later ships are back on the 1700 trade routes is actually extremely funny [ __ ] why did i ever think about this [ __ ] spotify sometimes where's the love for the youtube music i get [ __ ] all the vaporwave people if not even on spotify [ __ ] use youtube music do it do it right now what are you doing dude how do some of you all function under stress i'm sitting here eating cold pop-tarts while playing the we theme on a kazoo because i have a ton of things to do soon and i'm stressed but not stressed enough to do anything about it my mind is really going like yo you have 17 things to do within the week and i'm just like yo [Music] hey new gaming you're not real nothing is real except possibly toast toast is real everything else in the universe is a figment of our collective imaginations except toast and possibly pangolins nothing could successfully imagine a pangolin so basically unless it's pangolins or toast you're probably imagining it near gaming everybody this isn't some project you can do at one night well not if i shift it into maximum overdrive it still doesn't get done i swear we are living in a simulation hi what why oh no oh no no no no no no no no i hope to all that is holy that this is real please god give me this much what are you guys seeing cause i see the imposter the ever given is sus did you see loss emergency hot dog there reheats when you crack it like a glow stick hey now this now this is a shower thought world building is just what writers do when they want to justify a petty aesthetic choice world building is also what writers do when they want to justify not actually writing reading this comment was like looking down to see that i've been stabbed through the back in the middle of gloating well done today i learned the words cream and christ are cognates they derive from the same root meeting anoints rubbing things together with oil both practically and religiously creme de la christ back at it again at christ cream if you go on yahoo answers there's a question to ask what jesus smells like someone answered cookies and cream and i have never forgotten that anyway that person was channeling jesus himself that sure he isn't high enough stupid he's so sleepy he doesn't even care it's me as a bat i'm in love with this bat [ __ ] it good enough ten accessories every woman should have one flaming sword just drank a milkshake feeling good all right yes your teeth you know colgate i was but now i'm not gonna add a spike how in the nine hells did you get colgate's official tumbler to tell you to beat your teat it's quite simple friend i made a milkshake oh okay okay would zuko give the blue spirit a full pardon after the war is over or do you think you would mess with everyone and raise the bounty even higher firelord zuko sends ozai to capture the blue spirit to regain his honor are you ticklish is such a loaded question if you say no they'll test it if you say yes they'll test it just tickle me get it over with subject me to this [ __ ] soon so they may begin my healing process my ninth grade english teacher told us the proper response to are you ticklish is i have diarrhea every day god puts me in a new universe to see if i notice i do notice by the way i just never say anything because i'm shy this line in hamlet oh god i could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself as king of imminent space word not that i have bad dreams is the shakespeare equivalent of this post god gave me depression because if my ambitions went unchecked i would have bested him in hand-to-hand combat by age 16. writing papers is so humiliating why are these grown people with phds in this field making me a baby year old child write a stupid and tried paper that will never interest or benefit them anyway what is the part just give me a cute little a let's all move on please one another said i come off as a piece of [ __ ] and he didn't say why but i think it's because i don't like star wars as much as him i believe it slow burn but it's written by an impatient person also this doesn't affect the speed of the developing relationship at all but does make for a very passive aggressive narrator is it just me or does the frame rate get higher when you step inside a costco that's because everything comes in bulk there and costco has really good object instancing so it only has to obstruct the vbl for each kind of product once and then reshade it for individual instances which gets you a big frame rate improvement over a parking lot where one million neat cars are in view at any given time i don't understand this and i do at the same time coming soon costco hey i know things have been hard but i want you to know it's gonna be okay and i am so proud of you

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 344,086

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: -qmNnI1KNF0

Length: 17min 38sec (1058 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 02 2021