I'm turning 30 in 30 days...this is what I've learned | #grindreel

335 days ago I made a video called how I wasted my 20s this is part 2 last year I was 28 turning 29 this year I'm 29 twenty thirty so I want to update that video with some newer lessons before we officially get out of the 20s brackets I feel exactly the same as like at eighteen year old or maybe twenty maybe twenty-one would be better but there's some things that have kind of changed I just feel like a smarter version of a younger version of myself if I could go back in time and give myself a slap on the face I would do that probably in a few specific scenarios you know getting married a lot of people freak out about turning 30 years old my ex-wife did my friends did you know they'd be like oh no I'm turning 30 what am I gonna do and they have like this midlife crisis thing going on and I never really thought about it I always just say that I feel feels the same feels feels like whatever there are actually a few things that I've noticed getting closer to 30 my hair started to thin on top I don't know if you could see it but right right there there's a little bit of a little bit of thin spot so you do what you can you put some Rogaine on it takes a finesse arrived that's what you want to do my right knee pops super messed up from riding the one wheel when I took a fall my shoulders pop this one just pops over and over you know none of this stuff would have mattered if I was young this would've been fine I would have just healed and kept going all of my friends now have kids that are like 7 years old another thing about getting older that I've noticed is food I basically can't eat any of the good stuff anymore without feeling the trade-off from it like when I was 20 years old I could eat three bags of Wendy's and then go get Taco Bell back-to-back and go to sleep and sleep till 2:00 p.m. the next day now I have like six Wendy's chicken nuggets and some fries and I'm like dying the rest of the night and then the next morning my favorite pizza place in the whole world I can't even go there and eat it anymore I can have like one slice and then I have to stop because I'll just be burping it up the rest of the day I know it's probably TMI you guys didn't ask for that but like it sucks I had no issue with that part when I first moved to Utah and I was just barely 25 years old I ordered that pizza and I ate like a whole box and a half and now just a few years later I can have like one slice and I'm like my sleep patterns I have to have eight hours of sleep I just have to if I don't then I'm I'm falling asleep before when I first moved to Utah when I was 25 I could have just powered through on maybe barely three hours of sleep and that's what I did I would come home after my 12-hour shift workout make some food do all this stuff go to sleep like one o'clock wake up at 3:45 go to work and then I do another 12-hour shift it I there's no way that I could do that mm-hmm nope I have to have my eight hours of sleep I just can't or I'm passing out at seven o'clock oh this is a good one I found a few gray hairs here on my neck beard my neck beard I've had a few Grey's here and I got a couple greys and the eyebrows I haven't found any Gray's in the area I just keep telling myself that they're not gray they're just really really blond ten years ago I was 19 years old graduating high school thinking I was the hottest [ __ ] I was like oh I just graduated high school I'm about to go to college about to get this mechanical engineering degree I'm about to be look I got my whole life ahead of me and ten years ago it was all about image it was all about what other people thought of me and I also remember how much what other people thought of me had an effect on me and then I realized none of that matters you know all those friends that I had from high school disconnected yeah whenever I look on Facebook at people that I went to high school with everyone is still there everyone's still the same and they didn't like that nothing happened you know like they didn't grow or but I'm not trying to be kind of sitting it just didn't seem like they had high ambitions and they just kind of settled it's very strange you know all those cool kids in high school they're not cool anymore you know they're just trying to get by they got like 15 kids now you know struggling paycheck to paycheck so if you're watching this and you're young you're just about to go to college what people think of you in college doesn't matter what people think of you in high school doesn't matter no one will remember you as soon as you graduate and go on and move on with your life and you all go separate ways but 10 years ago it was all about image it was all about what everyone else thought of me what I looked like how I presented myself and I would change based on what other people thought of me I would feel very self-conscious based on what other people thought of me these days 10 years later I don't really give a [ __ ] what other people think of me no I kind of embraced being different now I embrace being the outcast whenever I hear Josh don't you want a normal life I just look around and I see what everyone else is doing and I just think to myself now why would I want that and I'm not saying that's wrong I just used to think that something was wrong with me because I could never get myself to fit that mold what I've realized is over these past 10 years is that I've tried to live a traditional life as a non-traditional person for the past thirty years and that's why I've always felt so awkward so outcast so different it's because I just don't fit the mold I did exactly what society told me to do I got the degree I got married I got a safe job I got a house didn't have the kids part I bought myself toys for the weekend to keep myself entertained until Sunday at 2:30 p.m. when you realize you have work tomorrow and a meeting that you have to prep for and then do this for 40 years until you're hired I tried that path and it took me all of nine months working my first corporate job to realize this sort of life wasn't for me what I've realized over the last ten years is that I'm a creative type I constantly have ideas there's not an hour that goes by where I don't think you know what would be [ __ ] awesome to try Josh like that's what I think I mean you know what would be cool is if we did this or have you ever thought about doing this we should try that that's like where my brain is all day every single day I just want to try things I just want to make things I just want to produce and so I thought something was wrong with me I thought I had like ADHD or something but I'm just a creative type and I just want to work on my ideas because I feel like they're so awesome and I just this urge to share them when I can't work on my ideas or do something that I want to try out in some way I start to feel depressed and resentful for my time being taken away and usually it's being taken by some job that you have to do to pay the bills and the more I'm told what to do the more I kind of feel like a caged animal it's taken a while because I thought that I was just a terrible employee I thought that something was wrong with me I thought that oh gosh just you know this is the trade-off that you have to do you have to take a job that you hate to do something that you enjoy and you know that's what people will tell you you have to do what you hate so that you can do what you like and it's not how it works at all you can find balance you can find a job that you like and do stuff that you enjoy it's not just you have to do something you hate and then in return you get to live life a little bit and I like I always thought that was [ __ ] and nonsense and that's what they'll tell you and if you're out there listening ignore that you can find a balance of both now there are some days where I'm not always super excited about working and making videos but most of the time I really love doing this stuff ten years ago I got married I remember when I thought I was going to be the best husband there was and now I can't even fathom the idea of promising someone forever no matter what you know it seems so Disney it seems so when's the call it seems so cartoonish and unrealistic like I can't there's no way that I could do that I remember when I dropped out of college like 4 different times in my 20s before finally finishing at 25 years old and I remember thinking that life was going to be such smooth sailing after you graduated college you just oh everything's gonna be good I'm just gonna do exactly well my parents have been prepping me for my whole life which is you know get that safe job get those toys get that house get those kids work to provide for those kids till you're 67 years old which is average retirement age and then retire and then have 11 years of freedom before you die at the age of 78 which is the average age of death and now I realize college is just the beginning cause just the tip of the iceberg of life everyone you're supposed to graduate and feel ready to tackle life why do you think all of you guys have impostor syndrome I don't feel qualified to do my job there's no way I don't feel like I could do any of this well it's because you're not qualified and you're not ready to do any of it you're just winging it your whole life you had someone holding your hand through school and now you're just winging it I remember feeling like a king when I got my first salary and I could buy all those toys I wanted until I realized no amount of toys we're gonna keep me from waking up and going to do a job that I hate now I watch other people dig themselves into holes by buying things they think they need but then they can't afford and then they buy things that they need their job to pay for and then they become a slave to their job and end up living to work rather than vice versa and just like in Fight Club the things you own end up owning you and what I've realized also is that some people experience this and some people won't experience this but the thing is I wish someone would have told me these things I wish someone would have came to me in my 20s and said look I know that you're wondering why you're doing this and there's a reason for that it's probably because you don't fit the mold last year I said the biggest thing holding you back was getting over what people thought of me and partially that was true because I was newer I doing YouTube then and ice you know getting a lot of hater comments for this and that and you know and then I got over that but this year I've realized that the reason I haven't been making a lot of progress is because I've been putting other people before myself to the point where I began to deteriorate and this year learning to think about myself first in life has been quite an adjustment whenever I did that as a kid growing up I was called selfish it's always you know think of other people before yourself always sacrifice what you have for someone else right and changing that and putting myself what does Josh want to do today what the [ __ ] that's Josh one out of life does he want to buy that thing does he want to take some off and do that thing what does Josh want stop think about what other people want for you what do I want and I've never had the time to do that really and I feel guilty about doing things for myself I'm just so used to well I I can I can but I'm putting that on hold right now because I'm I'm helping someone else build this business I'm helping my parents about paying my family you know whatever and from now on I'm just putting my oxygen mask on first you know because otherwise we suffocate if I can't focus on myself I can't love myself how can I help anyone else how can I love anyone else what I've also realized getting older is that these days I have a constant sense of running out of time I don't know how to explain it I just feel like there's so much in life that I want to do and I'm running out of time I do have a constant sense of you're already 30 now Josh and you haven't done this yet you've been putting out on hold because you've been trying to do other things first and help other people and do other things and you know that's your dream but you kept it on the back burner why are you self sabotaging what's really weird is that I've gotten older is that I said this in the last video but my perception of time is so different now I I blink and it's a different season I go into my house and then I come back out and it's dark this room I've been putting together this new office to try and get things more organized and I didn't post a video for a couple days and those two days went like this and this is this room isn't even done yet and it's just time is just I don't want to say it's slipping away time slips away when you don't feel like you have control over it but like time is just flying by it's just like each year becomes quicker than the year prior because you're each year of your life is less significant to the next one you know the first year of your life that was a hundred percent of your life the second year of your life well that was fifty percent of your life and it just keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller until you die and so that perception of time just seems to go faster and faster and you know the video that I made 335 days ago about how I wasted my 20s that felt like I made it for months ago these past 10 years honestly where I'm at right now they felt like maybe two years and then I realized if this is how fast time is going by at this age how fast is it gonna go by when I'm 50 10 years when I'm 50 is gonna feel like a month and I and I just I'm very very particular with how I want to spend my time but speaking of how fast time goes by it's one of the big reasons why I don't play as many video games anymore there's just so much more in life that I want to do that I just I just don't have time for video games and that's not to say that I don't play them anymore because I played them and I enjoyed them growing up and they came to the point where I there was like like almost video game addiction there was playing them even though I didn't enjoy them to escape from a reality that I hated because I didn't know what else to do but these days I just play them like as a social activity or maybe at night when I really just want to get into another story not as an escape so much anymore because I like to be the creator of the rules in my life I don't necessarily want to live inside the rules of a video game which can kind of be fun sometimes but for example like people on Twitch that do game streaming full-time like they're spending their entire life living within the confines of twitch and the video game world that they're playing in it's just like that's so crazy to me I mean some people can do it and they enjoy it and like more power to them but for me I just I could never stream video games full-time for that reason you know grind 400 hours to unlock this gun and then you finally get that gun and then you use it for ten minutes you're like okay what's next and there's no way I could just give up those 100 hours to use something for ten minutes because I know that's how video games work let me pause right here and just say a few things that I really wish someone has said to me when I was 18 to 25 so if we're out there and you're vibing with this video and you're feeling what I'm saying just let me say a few things if you're forcing yourself into a life mold like I did that does not fit you and you know something's up you have a little hint you have a little inkling that this is wise this feels so difficult for me I'm gonna tell you that you will resent it you will wonder why you did everything like you're supposed to do but you're still unhappy you either got to break the mold or get out of the mold you can't put a square inside of a sphere mold unless you force it you know it's just not gonna work and I find that's what a lot of people end up doing and no one tells them hey stop consider something else the longer you force yourself into this lifestyle the more unhappy you'll become I mean you can try all you want to convince yourself that you like it like I did and it won't work you can say I love this job I love what I do I'm just not engaged you know and it's not gonna work that's exactly what I did I said I'm not engaged you know there's something about this job it's just not getting it and you know what they did to me they took me to HR and they took me to employee engagement and told me to take a survey as to why I didn't like the work I was doing there's just because I don't [ __ ] like it I'm just not [ __ ] interested but when you're in that moment you think that something is wrong with you and everyone else is gonna think that there's something wrong with you and I'm gonna tell you right now that there's nothing wrong with you you might be a hard worker but you're not an employee another thing I'd like to say is that wealth is a mindset let me explain you could take a rich man's money away and he'll make it back because they know what wealth is they have the skills they know how to put it together wealth is up here it they can take your material items away and that's not a problem because you can you have this you can just get it back you could get a poor man millions of dollars and they still wouldn't be a millionaire you know they wouldn't know what to do with it they would blow it just go look at the lottery winners nine out of ten of them just end up back where they were a year after they won money solves your money problems but it does not solve your inner life problems yeah your salary will pay you bills and give you some breathing room but your salary will not give you inner purpose it will not give you life purpose it will just give you time to think okay now that I don't have to think about my rent and my phone bill and putting food on the table what do I really want out of life it's okay to work a job but if you're gonna do it just use the job as a stepping-stone just use the job for your own gain okay because that's what the owners are doing with you the owners are using you for their own gain that you should use their job to get some skills for your own gain you should use the job to get some whatever it is for your own gain right it has to be mutual so don't go in there just thinking this is the end-all be-all company for me another thing I'd like people to realize is that the market does not care about your passion they care about your value so find something you're good at or learn something you want to be good at and sell it people want what you have not necessarily who you are and by that I mean your passion people don't care about that unless it's helping someone in some way here's a big one it's absolutely okay to be a lone wolf this way I've always done things it's how I am I embrace it now if you're out there and you feel outcast because of it embrace it it's 100% okay to be a lone wolf according to science lone Wolf's are typically stronger more intelligent and have much more impact than those of the pack but most importantly lone wolves aren't alone forever they make their own pack last year I made a couple promises at the end of the video our goals that I would like to accomplish and one of them was I'd like to make a million dollars and the other one was I'd like to buy my parents a house and here's a little update on how that went I [ __ ] it up I failed neither of those things happened didn't make a million dollars didn't even make close to a million dollars there's no way I could retire right now absolutely no as for buying my parents a house I don't have a family anymore so look at how that worked out and now that sounds kind of depressing but let me tell you what I did do I have 38 out of 40 hours needed to take a check ride for a private pilot's license all I need is two hours and a written test and I can go get a check ride get a pilot's license I got a paraglider license I have a speed flying license and I gained almost 200,000 subscribers in a year and as much as I failed my original goals I accomplished a lot I have a general kind of theory on how you should live life and you should either be doing one of two things finding what you want to do in life or do that thing in life that's it that's all there really is and most people give up on the first one because it's really hard you get married you have kids you get a job you buy the things you get lost in that and then you end up just out there somewhere for this video I'd like to set some goals why not and then we'll see where I'm at maybe in five years when I turn 35 I'd like to meet all of the people that I follow on YouTube I'd like to go to the corridor crew and meet the people at the corridor crew Mattia Vella trip Palmer Tucker got Matt Gus Miller all the aviation people on YouTube coach Greg I was thinking about hiring coach Greg because I just once in my life just want to get to single digit body fat just once so coach Gregg is my kind of guy cuts through the BS and I think that'd be kind of cool to document so buy a plane so I can do my new series entrepreneurs and airplanes because I'm convinced that everyone that owns the airplane that doesn't do it for a job has their own business in some way because airplanes are not cheap and so I really think that would be a lot of added value just talking to other pilots that have figured out how to pursue their passion of flying and how they made their businesses and stuff I mean just go look at Corey the pilot that I flew with the other day he has his own software business that's how he funds his adventures and then I would probably like to move out of this house and maybe make some investments for some more passive income because what I've realized is that I work every single day and yes it is exhausting YouTube does not seem like it's exhausting but as soon as you finish the first video or the the live stream you're thinking about the next thing you're gonna do I guarantee as soon as I click end on this and I start editing this video I'm gonna be thinking about okay in a day and a half when I have to make another video what's that video going to be on and it's just onward and onward onward and onward and I need to figure out a way to post less videos and be able to step away because right now if I step away from this business the business dies YouTube told me YouTube gave me a notification in analytics that says it was a little a little graduation hat and it said here's a new tool tip we're experimenting with YouTube promotes your videos less when you post less videos so your channel performed not as well as it did and I'm just like this is literally YouTube telling me that if you don't post videos you're not getting views you've got to be stuck in the algorithm you're chasing out of them constantly so I need to find other ways outside of the algorithm like courses or products or some company that I can sell we might even do some software stuff anything related to code to build a brand but not necessarily just to make web apps to get a job just things like that very pragmatic on this channel going forward I'm kind of done with doing drama stuff I just want to make a lot of value added stuff that's it that's a life update if you enjoyed this video maybe flip thumbs up leave subscribe if you're not subscribed and I hope you guys relate and just remember you don't fit the mold don't force it I'll see you guys in the next one [Music]

Channel: Joshua Fluke

Views: 58,947

Rating: 4.9479556 out of 5

Keywords: joshua fluke, code bootcamp, javascript, how to code, web development, brand, developer interview, developer jobs, corporate cringe, divorce, story i dont talk about, entrepreneurship, digital brand, turning 30, 30 years old, im turning 30

Id: 7t0xY8Msb1I

Length: 22min 27sec (1347 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 17 2020