Why I will NEVER get married again... | #grindreel

welcome to more content that you didn't subscribe to look at this picture right here this picture is me back in like 2011 or something when I was getting married long long ago this guy right here in the in the cheesy tie in the saggy pants and yeah I'm putting I'm putting on the ring and but the real thing here is you look at that look at that chinstrap that defines the chin that I don't have in this picture because I was a bigger dude back then started getting that comfort weight early on you know look I got ear piercings all kinds of Pierson's you can't even see in this picture but anyways this was me way back when I got married I want to talk about why I don't want to get married again cuz you guys keep asking like I don't know why you guys want to know why I don't want to get married and why I don't want to have kids so much but you guys keep asking and keep asking so I'll explain my thought process and my reasoning behind it and I already know I'm gonna get a bunch of flack and a bunch of people calling me selfish and this and that and blah blah blah and like whatever right like so I don't talk about it because I already know what people are gonna do I know what they're gonna say to me but for the people that are genuinely interested in wanting to know why never want to be this guy again look at putting on the ring like you got the whole ceremony me and her this was a courthouse wedding there's the little Bible there and that she's reading us our vows and finishing in English and yeah yeah it's getting married you know there's a knock good times let's start off with the first thing here just want to get this clear if you want to get married for religious reasons or you want to get married because you want to have kids and do all that great more power to you but I I'm not super religious and I don't want kids so here's my thought process behind not wanting to get married then so it might make more sense if you if you are and you want to do those things great more power to you but here here's me and here's my reasoning behind it TLDR for the people they don't wanna watch this whole video there's nothing that I get being married that I don't get by just being in a long-term relationship so choice and commitment number one when I when I'm with somebody I like waking up and I like choosing that person every single day and I know people but you could do that in marriage nah not really like I'd like to know that I can freely walk away at any time but I still choose to wake up and choose that person and to me that means more than me promising someone because words don't mean anything actions mean more than words and so doing that over and over and over is more of a commitment than just promising a commitment see marriage in my opinion yet again it's all my opinion and my thoughts marriage takes away from that choice because you can no longer just freely walk away you can't do it not without having to deal with the with consequences and those consequences can sometimes be very big more than I think it's worth I don't particularly want to pay a bunch of lawyers to get divorced I don't particularly want to worry about splitting my assets I don't want to have to worry about alimony or any of that stuff I don't want to have to think about any of that if it's not working out and no one's willing to compromise I want to be able to leave and I would want the other person to feel that too like if it's not working out and I'm not it's just not we're not it's not clicking anymore all right bye it's not not a problem with me I don't care what a lot of people do is they don't walk away and they don't get divorced and so what happens is you get these people that stay married because it's a bigger pain in the butt to get divorced than it is to just stay married and silently resent this person more and more and more over time to eventually you become that couple that you see at the store where they obviously hate each other but you wonder why they're still married after 45 years it's like why are you why are you spending your life like this like you you owe yourself some joy and some happiness and to like be with someone that actually matches you people defend this marriage they go it teaches you to work together and grow together and people these days are just so quick to throw everything away like I don't know about that I'm sure that I'm sure that happens sometimes people like one one little bump in the road and they just leave but I'm sure there are a lot of people who have one little bump in the road and they work it out just fine yeah first of all if you get a little bump in the road and that's because usually one of you guys ends up changing you can't force people to change without resentment you can try to help people to change but you can't force them to and you can't manipulate them into doing it they might change but they're doing it for the wrong reasons they're not doing it for themselves they're doing it for you and when you make people do that so that you can carry on there's gonna be some resentment there and that builds up and that's not good and then you get into these games of well if you don't duex then I'm not gonna do why you need to change or else kind of deal whereas if you're not married you could just walk to be like I don't have to deal with this I'm gonna I'm just gonna do my own thing by I just don't think that's worth it I don't think forcing yourselves to stay together and just resent each other forever it makes you any better of a couple than people who decide to walk that's just my opinion here's the thing I don't have a crystal ball I cannot see the future I can make an educated guess maybe about three four years out but I can't see forever and I'm supposed to promise myself and you that I'm gonna be with you forever and work it out with you no matter what happens no matter how you change or how I change or whatever happens I'm supposed to promise like I can't see the future this that doesn't make any sense that's not very logical and on top of that I'm banking on the fact that if either of us do change our minds on something that makes us go our own ways I'm going to be held financially responsible for just having a disagreement like there's no reason to get into that in the first place and put yourself into that situation I guess people like to use the fire of knowing that it's harder to get divorced and your life is gonna be a big mess as motivation to work things out but I think very rarely does that work I can't even be with myself some days and I'm supposed to promise you that I'm gonna be with you forever like come on give me a break that just doesn't make any sense and as I said before promising commitment to somebody does not mean that you're gonna be committed that's just not how it works a person left a comment on one of my videos that said well if you're not married what's to stop them from cheating oh I don't know maybe your word right like maybe the commitment where you said that we were exclusive and that we weren't gonna see other people there's no different than marriage except you just had a big celebration and and did it publicly like there's no difference there I mean how about you just don't be a jerk and cheat that you could still cheat if you're married you can still cheat if you're not married there's there's really no difference there when I got married I thought that something was gonna change I thought that I was gonna wake up differently one day and I thought that I was going to be suddenly this different human being I was going to be a husband now and everything in my life was gonna be different but literally nothing changed like there was no way that I could get more invested into that person than I already was I was already fully committed so someone saying you are now husband and wife really made no difference I treated that person to the best of my ability up front even before that I treated her family to the best of my ability front even before that there was nothing more that changed except the title and now if you ever want to end this you're gonna have to deal with a whole bunch of financial consequences and it's gonna be a pain in your butt for you and everyone else and there's gonna be all these little petty fights just poking at each other because that's what people do when they get divorced it gets messy you know overall there was nothing magical that happens there was no little Disney rainbow that came over and said now you can be happily ever after like that didn't happen it was it was novel at at best it was novel I think I woke up the next day when I first got married and I was like hey wife because I can say that now like that was it the only thing I realized was that when she changed in a direction that was completely different than who she portrayed herself as I realized that I was going to be stuck with this person just just a few months after we got married I realized I tried to talk to this person about these changes that she made one day she just came in and she just shaved her head and dyed her hair purple with well like even saying anything right like and she was like don't you think I'm cute and I was like what do you say to that right like if I wasn't married to that girl I would've been like all right all sexual attraction has just been lost I am not attracted to you with a shaved head that is died and she also did it with a mohawk once without saying anything you know I'm like I can't do anything now I can't leave I can't I got a way for the hair to grow back out like there was no talking to me there was no agreement on what I find attractive and what she finds attractive and like did just change one day and then you try to talk to them about it and then like it's just things you can't you can't do anything you are you are stuck and I think of this I'm in another country with basically no money and I can't get divorced and if I get divorced I got to go back home and that's a mess they're back at home and it's just I was stuck she just she just pulled a Britney Spears on me one day you know aren't I so cute wait hold on wait is this fake right this is not this is fake no it's real feel it my hair still soft and it was just ah man what a day dude and what a day all right let's move on to the next part the actual marriage part of it I don't feel like I need to prove or celebrate love for someone with a bunch of other people to me that's very personal if I love somebody this is very intimate this is a one-on-one kind of deal I don't need to get you cousins involved or my friends involved or your family involved like I don't care their opinions of me I don't care about their opinions but and usually when you start getting like family involved there's always something that families don't like about each other or maybe the dad doesn't approve or the mom doesn't approve on one side and then you know you still have to get them to compromise and you're bringing two families together and it's like you could do all that without getting married anyways but I don't need to have it an expensive marriage to showcase my love for this person publicly because I don't care all that matters is what this person thinks of me not what her parents think of me and you can't be a people pleaser and the idea of spending all this money that you probably don't have because you're young and dumb and you just want to get married and do the Disney fairytale thing it's just it just doesn't make any sense to me imagine not having a wedding and then spending money that you may or may not have to go have a lifetime experience that you can you can share with that person instead of just having one day that's like six hours long that you only get to do once you know it's just pragmatically again that didn't make any sense to me going back to the parents not liking you for example with the ex-girlfriend her parents didn't like me her parents didn't like me because I wasn't spending my money on the fanciest things that I could buy they didn't like me because I wasn't constantly upgrading my house they didn't like me because my presentation to people in their family didn't make me look like I was rich and whatever right like it was all about presentation and how you were seen to them and their family and they would always say things like Josh your house is so old you should spruce it up a little bit and I'm just like brah I'm running a business right now like I don't have that kind of money nor is that really important to me the roof over my head is solid I got running water I got a shower I got food and I got a bed right now I'm just gonna focus on running my business and they don't care like they just didn't care so you know what they did they called me cheap they called me cheap and they told her daughter that you could get someone who wasn't so cheap never forget that it didn't matter if you were going into debt as long as you looked like you were rich right and so like you just can't please people man and so what other people think of me I don't care I don't care what your parents think of me I don't care what your friends think of me I should be considerate and try to be nice to them but like you guys get what I mean I if you don't like me that's your problem that's not my problem and if that gets in the way of the relationship at some point and we decide all right look you can either tell them how it is or we can go our own ways and that's just that's just how it is with me all right here's another thing with marriage that is a is a huge deal breaker for me and this I experienced this one big time when I was married intimacy right this was hung over my head as a reward not at first because when you meet each other and you're in that lustful infatuation stage where you just want to do it all the time winning it whenever and wherever right like we did that but then as soon as we got married it seemed like as soon as we got married it started becoming a reward for doing things that she wanted now if she had done this before we were married I would have walked I would have left if you're gonna hang something over me like that and you know I can't I can't go anywhere else now that's messed up it's just really messed up she'd say uh well you didn't do this around the house or you didn't do this around the house or you didn't do this and so I'm not gonna do it or I will do it if you do this or this and this and she just used it as leverage and as a manipulation tactic and then you know sometimes I was dumb enough to just take it I was what she would call what everyone called me in the last days just a beta male Oh simp yeah you know I was dumb right like what am I supposed to do though you have you have a few options you can either cheat that's not good that's gonna end up in divorce you can do it yourself that's depressing or you what what probably happens 99% of the time in relationships is that you just suck it up and then over time again you resent this person more and more and more or you play mind games with them right like you just stop talking to them you start giving them attention and you make them come to you and you try to display these mind games if you want to see the real definition of what sadness looks like when it comes to the intimacy side of things go to our a Reddit slash are slash dead bedrooms and that is what depression looks like actually look I'll just show you I found a few so this subreddit is for people that are having intimacy issues I went here when I was married because we were having intimacy issues and I was like what could I do how could I get her in the mood blah blah blah right and it's just like physical attraction is just non-negotiable I'm different person now but like these people on this subreddit is it's just so sad because I was there and there's nothing that these people can do about it again without the consequences of going through a divorce so here's one I'm married and I do myself more than when I was single I'm 28 my wife's amazing she cooks takes care of me she's very kind she's gorgeous she turns me on on all the angles but she doesn't want to do it anymore she doesn't want to do it our hands used to be all over each other but she's changed my low libido wife had a sexy dream about me so I woke up today and she told me I dreamed that I did some stuff to you and I was shocked so I told her playfully let's make your dreams come true and she says no but the dream was in an ultra luxury hotel not here and he wrote about this like it was an upside like he's making progress like they went from having no intimacy at all whatsoever to her going I had a dream about us having some intimacy I don't really remember that part but I remember the the luxury hotel and he's writing like he's making progress with her like oh she must she must be coming around like this is really sad this is just really sad stuff here's another one confirmation that scheduled intimacy works we had once weekly scheduled it for about a year never missed one session they both work for us until now I mean maybe dude like you you do your thing but like scheduled intimacy if you got like kids and all kinds of like crazy events but like all right uh what position are we doing this Tuesday oh we're doing we're doing missionary okay at 3:00 three o'clock or 3:30 because I think by 3:15 actually make it three oh three I'll be finished so I don't know if we'll get many more positions and you know like it's just really ooh if any of this happens now I could just walk away bye see you later this is this is unacceptable I'm gonna go get someone who actually wants me I don't want to have intimacy with someone who doesn't want me I don't want to have intimacy with someone who just lies there or someone who just like okay hurry up no like I want someone who wants me and so if this happens I can do that when I'm not married bye I'm out and again right if you got kids and you share assets and all this stuff that's way harder to do this so you end up resentfully just sting here's another thing the Disney fairy tale the idea of getting married and being married is more enticing than actually being married like the idea of it up here planning the wedding dress planning the cake the venue who's gonna come making all the little cards the bachelors party the bachelorettes party and and the build-up and the excitement to getting married and having this one event that's gonna be super exciting the best day of your life whatever right like that's all fun that's the fun part to do but discussing what the differences in what a clean house means with your wife is not fun discussing why it's been six months since you've had sex is not fun discussing why you need to move for a job because it's the only one you can find isn't fun everything else about getting married is fun people want to do that but they don't want to do the hard stuff right and again you can still do all this hard stuff without being married here's another thing that I see happening in in marriages people start asking for permission to do things and it starts off as them being considerate I understand that but like if I want to hang out with someone that's married sometimes I'd be like oh I can't do it I have to ask my wife or my wife's not letting me do this or my wife's not letting me do that and blah blah blah like you're just not allowed to do things and now suddenly you have to ask permission to be able to do things that you would have just done regardless or when you first got married but then over time it becomes this resentful thing that you just can't do anything it started off as being considerate for your partner saying oh well she's my priority she's my partner and let me let me make sure it's she's okay with it too just becoming this controlling manipulative detective of oh I can't do that my wife needs me to do this today you know it's just like people stop thinking for themselves and I'm not saying this just goes for for the husband not being able to do things I'm sure there are controlling husbands that don't let their wives go out or they don't they don't let their wives dress certain ways like it goes both ways like I understand that but like again if that happens and you're not married you just leave dude just by I'm gonna see you later and obviously there's some situations I'm sure that it's not easy to do as well but it's easier than having to get divorced another one is well Josh if you have marriage issues why don't you just go get counseling and so I'm going to show you a picture of what counseling looks like in everyone's mind all right this is how you see it now oh we're gonna get counseling and everything will be fine and it's gonna be fantastic and we're going to get back on track to the way we used to be when we first got married and when we were dating because things are just so different now and then you have this idea that you're both gonna end up happy again but that's not that's not how it goes let me show you the picture of what actually happens regardless if you want to admit it or not the counselor or the mediator always picks a side they have to pick a side that's just how it goes they I know their their job is to stay neutral and just present questions and informations and suggest things but by doing that they have to take aside and so if it's not the side that you're on you're gonna feel very it's not gonna be fair it's not be fair at all it's gonna feel like a 2v1 so now instead of just the other person trying to get you to change it's gonna be two people trying to get you to change and that's not gonna be good now you're just gonna resent the other person even more and you're not gonna want to go to counseling anymore because you haven't you haven't felt like you had a fair shake right they didn't see your side of things and so this is what that actually looks like come on man like aren't you seeing this and then you see the other person in the background like uh-huh you tell them right and it's just so sad it's always a 2v1 and I'm not saying look I know that this is the husband making you know obviously it looks like he's the one in the bed I'm sure I'm sure there are counselors that side and when the other genders - I'm not trying to talk about that side of it I'm just saying objectively this is what happens all right so this is my opinion again if you're at the point where you think that you have to go get counseling it's too late you've gone too far it's just there's not gonna be a way to come to a compromise in the middle where someone doesn't resent the other person at least a little bit it's just not gonna happen like I feel like you would have already tried all those things for me I'm gonna try my best to resolve the issue and if it doesn't work out I'm gonna end it and I'm gonna leave like it's not worth my peace of mind and it's not worth my time anymore so I'm just gonna leave I'm not gonna go to counseling and and try to do this anymore I'm just an again I'm gonna go find someone that I better match with people change that's just the reality of it all right it's not the best idea right because we've been conditioned to believe that every relationship is going to be the one that lasts forever and you shouldn't invest all this into somebody and then just leave but sometimes that's just the reality of it you have to do that and it's like it is what it is and this is what happens people start saying oh we've been together for so long though and did this this and this together and it's just it's just so much to throw away and and they fall into what's called the sunk cost fallacy they've put so much into it that they just could never let it go and this is what happens to startup founders it's a sunk cost fallacy they put so much time and effort into their product that has no market demand or it sucks at being marketed or just not a good product they refuse to believe it all they put all they put their blood sweat and tears into this you know I can't just give that up well sometimes you have to that's life sometimes you just got you gotta give that up and you got to move on to the next thing - something that does work you know take some lessons learned and just move on to the next thing all right let's move on to finances being shared and prenuptial agreements I don't want to share my finances the money that I make is for me and what drops that's selfish yeah I know it's selfish but I make it for me and if I want to give it to somebody it's because I care about them not because I have to do it not because I'm in a situation where I want to pay for someone else just because we're married now I don't want to I don't want to do that I don't really want to share my finances I don't want to ask permission if I want to go by it's like a new TV I don't want to ask permission to buy this or that it's my money I earned it I'm gonna buy whatever I want we're gonna come to an agreement in the middle of if we're living together and we have living expenses I'm gonna beg alright well this is how much the mortgage is this is how much the utilities are this is how much of this this and this are this is how much I'm gonna pay and this is how much you're gonna pay everything else is our money we can do whatever it is that we want I don't want to inherit somebody student debt I don't want to inherit somebody's credit card debt I don't want to inherit somebody's previous poor choices by getting married don't want to do it I also don't want to suddenly have a bunch of success in life and then have someone come to try and take advantage of that and so you get these people saying well Josh josh Josh just get a prenuptial agreement you know protect your assets with that prenup okay well here prenups are a meme dude prenups gets thrown out of court quicker then my girlfriend got put on the streets when she cheated prenups are a joke dude prenup prenups are just not worth anything and because let me tell you why there's a couple easy way outs to the prenup all the person that signed the prenup has to say is I didn't know what I was signing and I felt pressured to sign it just that that one little man sentence right there it's called signing under duress if you sign a prenuptial agreement and you knew that someone was worth millions of dollars and you were at the divorce court I imagine you would say I didn't know what I was signing I signed it because I I felt pressured to do it or he wouldn't marry me you know boom prenup thrown out of court by here's another example of how prenups can get thrown out very easily all you got to do is say this one magic sentence my lawyer wasn't there when I signed it so the judge may throw out the prenuptial agreement when one person signs it without proper legal representation yeah yeah this this is probably probably one of the easiest ones you know you know your husband or your wife slaps down the prenup and you sign it and you didn't have a lawyer there hey now you're in court you'd be like no my lawyer wasn't there when I signed it I didn't know what I was reading boom done prenuptial agreement thrown out you are now a millionaire you know also prenuptial agreements only protect what you had before you got married not what you got after you got married so let's say your business suddenly skyrockets the day after you get married you make ten million dollars alright well basically now your other half is entitled to that because your finances become merged and now that person somehow has some merit to what you did because blah blah blah right like imagine all the people that become millionaires and billionaires just by getting divorced I know first the first example I think of is Jeff Bezos his ex-wife you know like billionaire buy a divorce I mean if that's the case I am in the wrong business I think it's time to become a serial divorcee in fact I'm gonna make a new resume and the summary on my resume that describes my objective is I'm conditioned and hooking them hard and [ __ ] them over in the bedroom and in court I'm about to be brand new business you guys you guys want to join my business all you got to do is start divorcing people and you too it can't become a millionaire so if there are any sugar mamas out there holla at your boy alright so what about if you want to have kids Josh well I don't want to have kids that's me I've never wanted to have kids I don't have a desire to have kids zero like it's just don't want them I have dogs I don't have to change diapers with dogs they don't talk back as dogs and they are always happy to see me and their college fund is like a ten dollar bone at the store that keeps them entertained forever and I never thought this would happen by publicly saying that I don't want to have kids is that I get guilt-tripped for not wanting to have kids I knew that this happened to girls that don't want to have kids but I never thought it would happen to me you know a lot of people say it's your purpose in life to procreate Josh you should do that if anything else in your life that is your purpose and people coming to you telling you what your life purpose is is always that's a good meme right there and I'm sure this happens to girls way more often than guys where they're like well you'll change your mind you'll change your mind once you have one you'll change your mind like if anything maybe I'll just donate some of my stuff to one of those banks and they can have it and then my DNA can go on and and do its thing that way I got a sister I'm sure she'll pop out some kids at some point whatever I'm not concerned about it if anything maybe I'll go be a big brother or maybe I'll adopt a kid or I'll be like a foster parent or something like that there's a lot of kids out there already without loving parents without guiding parents without parents that support them and try to teach them and try to help them I don't feel the need to have my own genetic blood DNA and then you'll get some people in the comments that are like your own kids that are our blood related are better than kids that you adopt and like whatever dude like you you do whatever you think that you need to do but I'm gonna do whatever I think I need to do and so people call me selfish for saying I don't want to have kids and you know what I am selfish I am I recognize that I am because it's my life but I think it's better to realize that you're selfish and to not have kids than to be selfish and have kids because then you're just gonna resent them and I know people that did that they accidentally had kids and they didn't want kids and now they're like I love my kids but I wish that like I didn't have kids you know I don't like I've recognized that so I'm not gonna have them and then you get the people that are like put Josh what happens when you're old when you're when you're old Josh and there's gonna be nobody there to take care of you it's like the lonely old man myth just because I'm old and don't have kids somehow I'm just gonna be you know I'm gonna be alone and I'm gonna be lonely and I'm gonna be wishing I had kids and a family to surround me I have news for you you could be put into an old folks home and be forgotten just like plenty of old people that are already in that situation which is really sad so your kids they don't owe you anything just cuz you brought them into this world doesn't mean you owe them anything and I think that people that say that are really messed up I think that's a manipulation like I brought you under this world I could take you out okay well then why did you do that if you're gonna be like this you know don't be don't be that way they don't owe you anything don't try to like push everything on to them and make make them live their best life according to what you think is the best life you know what I mean but you know that's really like opinionated as well and I know different people have different parenting styles that's where I'm at with that oh and then you get the people that are like well what about evolution Josh what about all those years of your DNA traveling through your ancestors well I guess the genetic line ends with Josh here my genetic line is here with me like that's it by Joshua flu gang it ends here it's not going anywhere else you know I have eczema I have really crappy vision I have love handles at basically any body fat percentage that I have I don't have the Adonis belt like I don't think my genetics or anything to write home about anyways I mean I'm I'm like over six foot so like I guess that's good but other than that I don't think I got a lot going for me here these are some observations that I've had with people that are married okay so go to the mall or go to the store and just watch couples walk around and it's it'll be very clear who are the new couples on like a first or second date or that are in that dating phase and it will be very clear of the couples that have been married forever and are just doing their shopping because there are they're both on their phones they're not looking at each other they're not engaging with each other they're not like why even go together then you know why even why even do that or if the biggest meme is when you go to the mall I couldn't find it I couldn't find it for four women but I'm sure this happens but there's a bunch of memes on the internet where dudes are just sitting around waiting for their wives to finish shopping and they're just out of the mall sleeping I'm sure you guys see it without really seeing it dudes are just constantly waiting you know they're just there they're like why am I doing this how much money is she spending you know we can't afford that you know and I'm not saying this happens just for husbands I'm saying right like I'm sure the tables can be flipped and I'm sure you got your girl and she's waiting outside a Gamestop and you're spinning forever trying to figure out what video game you wanna buy and blah blah blah right like I'm sure this this flip flops both ways but to me this just doesn't seem like the kind of relationship that I want I just don't want to sit there like here's the picture of a people waiting a bunch of husbands waiting outside of Victoria's Secret the dudes holding the girls purse and it looks like a Tommy Hilfiger bag waiting for his wife to finish shopping and the list just goes on and on and on and again I don't I don't have pictures for the other ones because I couldn't find it but I'm sure it happened so I'm not trying to just put all the girls on blast in this video so let's just cut back to it here there's nothing that I get in a marriage that I don't get outside of a marriage I can have kids if I want and all the legalities and stuff are still the same yeah it's it's what's whatever you still got to go fight for custody people divorce whatever after they have kids and it doesn't work out right I can still have kids and not be married I could still have intimacy and not be married I can still be committed and not be married I can still co-sign on stuff and not be married I can still cohabitate with someone and not be married I can still meet their family and go to family events and treat their family like my family without being married the two things that I don't get being married that don't matter to me are shareable health care and insurance because you can get your spouse and all that stuff and you get a slight tax break but in my opinion if you're worried about taxes you're not making enough money and you probably shouldn't get married anyways so having said all that it probably makes me sound like I'm just a playboy and I never want to commit to anybody and you know yeah you've been hurt and it's it's you know if that hadn't happened you'd be different and you change your mind one day you'll find that one right woman and that's the whole thing right like the one myth you know the soul-mate myth like I'm sure there's lots of girls out there that I'm compatible with I don't think there's the one you know there's plenty of fish in the sea that's that's what they say so you know I don't really I don't really buy into all that but I will say that I'm open to a long term relationship and I'm open to doing some of those things that you would do if you were married but I'm not open to putting all of it on the line and I'm definitely not open to getting the government involved in my romance in my dating life right here's another thing I don't want to be a provider for someone that just stays at home and takes care of the kids because I'm not having kids so I'm not just gonna be a paycheck to someone and work all day so they can stay at home and raise the kids because that's not what I want that's not where I'm at for me there's people that are working on building their own businesses they care about fitness they have ambition they have goals they are you know we have mutual interests like that's that's what I like someone who wants to be independent but also wants to share their life with someone without risking everything that they've built for themselves and that's totally reasonable to me like I think they I think that's possible I think that my opinion again I think that the person that you're with should be a compliment to your life it makes your life greater but without it your life is still pretty great you know I don't think that people should be dependent on each other like without you I would have nothing I owe everything to you like that's really sad that's really codependent it's really gross it's not good you know I'll let you make me so happy you should probably be happy anyways you should probably be happy on your own you should be self fulfilling you should you know you should be happy with where you're going in life and using someone else to make you happy is very like that you're just asking to get hurt type deal so I want someone who's independent and just doing their own thing and this they want to share with me because we have mutual interest and I'm open to going however long that is I think a lot of us end up falling into that Disney fairy tale of the dream you know but that happily ever after it's like the prince charming and you know get married and white picket fence and kids and all that stuff and that's what we're fed you know that's that's what we're fed when we grow up and so that's what most of us do and I bought all that too I bought all of it every single I ate I just I bought it I ate it all up like that was me I used to believe in all that stuff but it's it's just it's not pragmatic I'm not saying it's impossible I'm just saying they're not mine it's just my turn however long that is and that's where I'm at that's why I don't want to get married that's why I don't want to have kids it is what it is hopefully you've had your questions answered I'm not trying to come off as a selfish douchebag but I'm sure some of you guys will think that anyways or maybe some of you will agree I'd like to know in the comments down there below and I don't know why you guys want to know so much about my relationship perspective or views or whatever it is but you know hit like if you liked the video if you'd like to see more hit subscribe click the little bell that helps out the channel and I hope you guys are doing well thanks for checking on me everybody I'm doing better and I'll see you guys tomorrow and the live stream [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Joshua Fluke

Views: 376,026

Rating: 4.8645625 out of 5

Keywords: joshua fluke, code bootcamp, javascript, how to code, web development, brand, developer interview, developer jobs, corporate cringe, divorce, story i dont talk about, entrepreneurship, digital brand, im divorced, she cheated, why i wont get married again, why i will never get married again

Id: nGVWhKeDeNM

Length: 34min 10sec (2050 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/TheSilverShade]

Post approved for this time.

Next time share it on r/MgtowTV

Whoever reported that for and I quote "ba-ba-ba bitchin' da bitches" clearly didn't watch the video at all.

[u/glass_tumbler]

great stuff - speaks to my soul man 🤙

[u/[deleted]]

Joshua Fluke is amazing guy. I watch his videos. Dude gives great insight on tech, corporate, and life.