IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Perfect Band 9 Paper

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful central europe i hope everybody is having a good start to their weekend staying healthy strong and productive welcome our members welcome nico nice to have you on board send me an email i'll hook you up with your perks good to see everyone uh this class as usual is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success please visit us there and for the general ielts check us out at g i e l t s help dot com that's general ielts help com on both of our websites we have lots and lots of information to uh help you improve your english and your communication skills so that you can get those high band scores welcome uh jai neil good to see many people in the class already if anybody has questions just send me an email to adrian ae help dot com this is uh nico this is where you should send your email to adrian at ahelp.com just say i'm a new member please hook me up with my perks and then i'll check your id and then hook you up with those exclusive videos all right i will quickly show you our websites here um this is our oh just let me get to this is our academic a website here uh with the blue background and you can click that big red button to join the premium package it is a one-time payment for lifetime access so you can use all of the materials and updates that we provide until you pass your ielts exam same thing for the general ielts uh it is again with uh a green background like this and you can click that big red button there to join our premium package we are at an official ielts uh test registration center and we have ielts uh certified british council agents as well so we know what we're doing we know what we're talking about in fact i just wrote my official ielts exam yesterday the computer-based academic exam so that was quite exciting it was interesting i always learn something new from that i can already see jynil asking how was your exam i think it went well uh janilla as well as it could go i will have my marks next week friday if all is true it takes about five days for the computer based ielts exam results so i should have them at the end of next week so we we shall see um there were a couple of questions in the listening where i kind of spaced out but hopefully i got those so we'll see definitely in the writing section students one tip right away that i found very very useful is to read what i wrote so after i finished writing task one i checked my writing my paragraphs and i made a few corrections and i did the same for task two and definitely i caught a few of my own mistakes after reviewing task 1 and task 2. so that is a really smart step and i we do talk about that in our course on our websites but i don't emphasize that i think enough in these live classes so i'm just reminding you of that again that in the um writing section it's a really really good idea to review your essays leave a couple minutes so maybe write a few words less but definitely review so leave it took me about three four minutes to review carefully both task one and task two um so that's a really good idea because you will catch some mistakes and that can help save you a half a band at least okay so don't just write and then write till the very last minute it's not a good idea okay um gineal yeah the essays that's a task one task two okay all right uh j if you're curious i mean we are going to do some videos on this in hd for the channel but task one was uh two bar graphs and i did the academic computer-based exam so task one it was two bar graphs and uh the bar graphs were number of students enrolled in four different subjects in a school and the subjects were media sciences chemistry uh biology and maths those were the four subjects and then there were two bar graphs one bar graph was 1995 the other one was uh 2010 and i had to do a a comparison an explanation of those two bar graphs and then question two was about uh the negative or positive developments of tourism to remote destinations that was um the part two and that was the computer-based exam uh chubby good question uh chubby says did they recognize you in the test center uh yes they did yeah uh both some of the people who work at the test center recognize me as well as some of the other candidates that were there so that was kind of interesting um being recognized and they were like oh so you're spying on us i was like kind of but we work with british council as well so not quite spying or internal spying i guess but yes chubby okay everyone so um let's get back to point here so i will talk more about um my exam experience and we will have uh some videos the speaking went really well too carolina again i don't i know you're going to have lots of questions um and i will gladly share those with you but just hold on to them okay uh next week we will have a q a session for members as well so um you can hold your questions for them just be patient okay uh we'll focus in on today's lesson finishing this task two and i will reference uh some of the experiences on the exam um one quick tip uh that i'll share with are the members right now is when you're doing the computer-based exam for the reading and listening especially for the listening section try not to use the mouse to move your cursor to the different questions but use the tab key and keep your fingers on the home row it's a very important tip you'll see why okay but make sure to practice that at home all right that's something that i realized very quickly in the listening section you don't want to use the mouse you want to use the tab key to move between the questions it helps you to stay focused much more on the questions okay uh yeah carolina there's four videos coming up about that yeah registration getting ready the actual exam and after the exam which of course we're going to film later so yeah lots of videos coming up on that carolina so yeah look forward to those okay cool um so let's get into uh today's lesson here uh we still have task two today of course and speaking part two uh tomorrow and then as usual no class uh on sunday monday tuesday so those days um just uh study practice look at the other hd videos on our uh channel and then of course uh we have a full week coming up uh next week as well and see on saturday on this day next week members you will have a q a session so you can ask me lots more about the exams at that time okay all right um so this was the question that we were looking at on thursday and we'll get right into it so the question was you should spend about 40 minutes on this task should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education or is it the responsibility of the government of poor nations to look after their citizens all right so we did some really good planning on thursday and planning is definitely important it's something that i did in my official exam as well i use the paper that you get for logging in to take notes on and that's actually where i did my planning so i didn't do the planning on the computer you can but i didn't i did the planning with my hand on paper on the they give you a piece of paper for each section in the computer-based exam and you can have a pen you should have a pen and then you can use that and i used my pen and paper to plan my essay and then i typed it on the computer i found that to be the most efficient i just like the way my brain works when i'm planning using a paper and pen more than typing so typing i like to do when i'm writing the essay planning i like to do with pen and paper so i used pen and paper for the planning part and then i typed the essay okay there's another tip from the exam for you okay all right but it might be different some of you might feel that uh you plan better when you're typing okay it could be a a different feel for a different person for me personally because that's always how i took notes in university i like to plan with my handwriting rather than with typing okay so here is our thesis our thesis is uh it is both the responsibility of wealthier nations as well as local governments of poor countries to aid their citizens the former is needed for faster progress and the latter for strong independence okay all right so i wrote an introductory paragraph and uh here it is the introductory paragraph i have the hook now i know that i gave this for homework as well so if um you uh did this homework please share it in the class okay okay so um having the opportunity for a high quality of living is the right of all people that was my hook right because really what we're dealing with in this question is that all people should have a good life okay that could be another hook by the way so having the opportunity opportunity means the possibility right with education and food so having the opportunity for a high quality of living is the right of all people that's my hook okay oh it says any generous support can help to reduce suffering um and save lives uh os there's no such word as poors okay that's not a word so careful with that careful with non-words all right any generous support can help to reduce suffering and save lives take out the word poor's that's very awkward don't make mistakes in your hook students be very careful with that uh mahmoud says there are variant societies who need assistance suffering lack of the basis basis basic requirements for life and living around the world in asia africa europe and other countries mahmoud that's not a hook that sounds more like a background um like you're giving a definition okay so uh don't do that um instead i just write a simple hook that's only 10 to 12 um words okay so keep it really simple okay notice how mine's much shorter having the opportunity for a high quality of living is the right of all people for a high quality of life is the right of all people okay and then my background so this is my definition here mahmood coming next this means improving the living standards for impoverished citizens so poor citizens impoverished citizens in poor countries by providing basic needs such as nutrition and literacy for both survival and development okay so i'm defining what we're talking about here it means that we have to better the quality of life in poor countries with basic needs okay basic needs includes nutrition food so being able to live healthy and literacy being able to read okay arguably that is a need in today's society okay and then the importance of the question right so why is this important it is not only humanitarian but also beneficial for all people to aid impoverished populations so it's the right human behavior it's humanitarian and it helps everybody in the world when we help the poor populations okay so that's why it's important to discuss this topic that's the importance of this discussion all right and then the thesis as such so i just simply created a connective word here or connective expression as such it is both the responsibility of wealthier nations as well as local governments uh of poorer countries to aid their citizens the former is needed for faster progress in the latter for strong independence so that's the those are going to be the body paragraphs okay uh janil i like it so janiel's hook is helping the needy is a humanitarian practice i like it jay neil it's beautiful it's one two three four five six seven words it's clear it's interesting i want to read more of what you're writing it's accurate it's good language that's a great hook jainal okay hi andrei welcome on board um rashika says assistance to poor people is a quality human trait that has been happening since a long time ago um [Music] yeah rashika you can simplify that so rashika don't over word your ideas if it's not necessary so rashika you can state that in a much much simpler way so you can simply say assisting the unfortunate or assisting unfortunate people has been a part of human history okay or helping the poor has been happening for centuries okay so something simpler rashika you don't need to it seems really complex and unnecessarily complex there you are nico i hope you heard all of the points that i gave you earlier okay all right chubby says ordinary life is the minimum that humans ask for whatever their background or location yeah chaby not bad it's good again you can make that more concise right mahmoud good background okay so i'm just going to read the introduction one more time and then we'll get right into uh the body paragraphs okay let's work through this essay at a good pace today in the class so this is my full introduction again this is what you want to do in the ielts what i actually did so that you're perfectly clear in my exam yesterday is uh when i finished a paragraph i read my paragraph before writing the next one and then once i was finished my whole essay i read my whole essay one more time okay all right so here we go so whole paragraph having the opportunity for a high quality of living is the right of all people this means improving the living standards for impoverished citizens in poor countries by providing basic needs such as nutrition and literacy for both survival and development it is not only humanitarian but also beneficial for all people to in to aid impoverished populations as such it is both the responsibility of wealthier nations as well as local governments of poor countries to aid their citizens the former is needed for faster progress and the latter for strong independence okay good so now we start body paragraph one body paragraph one begins with the topic sentence okay so the topic sentence what is that can anybody tell me what i should write about specifically here so what specifically should be my topic sentence okay so body one topic sentence and my topic sentence should be what should it be okay what does it need to include yeah so carolina you're right it's the first idea of my thesis oh it says faster progress what specifically so os carolina everyone what you should be thinking about is a deeper a deeper definition of faster progress by aid from abroad okay so that's what you should be thinking about okay so write a topic sentence for me right write this topic sentence so what does it mean that wealthier nations should also help the poor citizens of um countries with lower gdps for faster progress so i'm going to write my topic sentence and you write yours and then we'll compare let's see if we are both on the same page okay so you all right so there's my sentence okay uh pre-t uh the topic sentence is not why should wealthier nations help poor countries but it's actually a deeper definition of progress so you're always going for more detail pre-t don't go more general okay so here's my topic sentence the resources of wealthiest countries assist poor nations to advance their development much faster than if they were left to deal with their challenges on their own leading to noticeable change in a matter of years rather than decades so already i'm reaching for that quantitative information now if you stopped here if you put a full stop where i put my comma you still have a pretty good topic sentence however if you're going for those higher band scores you always want to take that extra step for those band-aid band nines and give clarity as much as possible so what do you mean faster progress well of course what i mean here is that we can see progress in five six years instead of 50 to 60 years okay so that's my topic sentence and then of course after that comes my explanation like what do i mean the resources of wealthier countries okay so we're going to get into that in just a moment i'm hoping to see some topic sentences here students as well don't overthink it okay you can write it then think about it then write it again it's okay if you write the first idea that comes to mind i give you some feedback and then you can write it again make some changes andrei says uh wealthy nations assist poor countries as this is ethical of humans this uh displacing as provide education to create a strong economy and developing of all aspects of life andre you need more clarity there so more clarity just go into a deeper definition of what is faster progress os says this means that rich nations should help poor economies and provide the resources and circumstances to achieve development in a matter of years instead of decades oh it's good go for that quantitative information os achieve development in a matter of years instead of decades okay matter of years instead of decades all right uh welcome abhil join in uh we are at the topic sentence mahmoud says wealthier countries have the ability to help other societies and by doing that poor societies improve faster and again mahmud put that definition in there in a matter of years instead of decades or in five six years instead of a hundred years right so be quantitative be quant don't forget to be quantitative okay that's definitely um an important strategy i did in my exam yesterday is uh for the question um regarding tourism to remote places i definitely used quantitative language throughout the essay okay all right preeti rich nations have many resources which they can share with poorer countries so that they can progress faster and build a strong economy in years instead of decades okay or decades instead of centuries up to you your decision okay uh janelle not only can wealthier nations use their resources to assist poor countries for a more rapid social evolution um but also those countries authorities okay that we don't need that last part jenia that's confusing rajvir the support of wealthier nations for the poor countries citizens expedite the infrastructure development like in a couple of years rather than decades very nice rajvir absolutely nice use of the word expedite expedite means to speed up okay so if that's a new word for anyone write it down this beautiful vocabulary it's a very good use of the word expedite okay so the resources of wealthier countries assist poor nations to advance their developments much faster than if they were left to deal with their own challenges left to deal with their challenges on their own leading to noticeable change in a matter of years rather than decades okay let's explain this so what do you mean what do you mean if wealthier countries help poor countries then it will be faster explain that right so uh explanation i think the explanation is not too difficult here be a little bit visual uh think about okay well how can those resources be used don't just think about money but think a little bit more comprehensively so think about some other ideas as well okay so i'm going to be quiet while i type this so you can think and type speed here student speed so do it fast okay you so uh here's mine let's see what you come up with uh when rich nations share not only their finances but also their knowledge and workforce with countries lacking in these domains they can establish infrastructure and education which in turn increases the rate of improving the local economy and professionals and i don't want to use workforce again because i've used it before i'm going to use employment all right um so let's see what you have all right chubby says governments could give shortcuts to improve education and health care system depending on their past experience and mistakes that happened so they do not have to go through the same learning process um yeah chubby i think that's good logic don't use the contractions so do not okay have to go through the same learning process uh pretty says if wealthier nations share their technology and knowledge with developing countries then certainly they can construct both a good infrastructure and higher education which improves the local economy very nice pre-tea i love that explanation very well done rajvir says when developed countries such as the us the uk and france shares their technical knowledge in domains like construction research and development and education with developing countries like india and japan it helps in creating new jobs and improves lives of people living in weaker economies um yeah i don't know about japan rajvir japan is extremely evolved as far as infrastructure i think you were maybe thinking of a different country with that um careful careful with information mistakes rajvir uh makwood says when poorer nations uh are helped by building schools children uh begin to earn an education and um left without help they would not have literacy okay mahmoud stay in the present tense don't use will okay focus on writing your ideas using the present general tense okay don't jump to the future all right os you're on the example that's coming later andrei says if poor nations do not receive outside help their economy stifles stifles andre uh s-t-i-f-l-e-s stifles means does not move um like some african countries okay we'll get into those examples a bit later andre okay now at this point i have to be careful to not go too far from the original question and i want to keep the original question in mind always okay this is another really important tip this is what i also did yesterday during my exam is i kept going back in my head to the original question the original question remember asks us not just about education but also about providing food food as well right so i don't want to forget about that of course [Music] uh right so even a simple sentence like this of course any food provided from abroad aids the local people to have health and energy while they learn and build okay so again helping the process to go more quickly and more smoothly and i can finish that idea as long as i know that i'm fast enough to fit it within my 40 minutes okay okay now comes the example all right so i'm always thinking of that original question and because the original question included food i'm keeping that thought in there how does food from the outside help the local people well it keeps them fed while they learn and they build right okay os says a reconstruction in syria requires international support because the war losses are great and um have overtaken the national capabilities um yeah os that's a good one okay so that would be a good example let's see some more examples all right there's definitely some examples of foreign aid to certain parts of the world that are either war-torn or are decimated by natural disasters or just have slow moving economies for other reasons so just pick up any one of those examples and put it in there the best is if you can use an example which you can write about in both of your paragraphs so janeil says in light of this in 2016 very nice use of in light of this daniel in light of this in 2016 um the indian government exported around 1 million tons of wheat to help south african regions which had been affected by drought to stimulate their population and their economy okay all right so danielle watch the ordering of ideas i'm going to use your example here so in light of this i'm starting with what the so always think what is the simplest way to express myself clearly and effectively so who did what and why in this case it was the indian government helping the african regions why to uh give humanitarian aid and stimulate their economy right so um same exact uh example geniale just with a little bit of different wording right so in light of this the indian government so the way gineal's using in light of this is referring back to the explanation so making a really nice connection here okay so in light of this uh i like to put the time expressions usually in the beginning so in 2016 the indian government exported around 1 million tons of wheat to south african regions which had been stricken with drought i know that's tricky you might know not know this janielle but an area is stricken with drought okay the the verb is stricken stricken with drought in order to aid the local governments and people and stimulate their economies you often might hear that in news like stimulus package the government releases a stimulus package to stimulate okay means to help and assist in this way these [Music] communities recovered much faster from the disaster okay so uh there is my body paragraph one okay um and that's why i'm showing you daniel absolutely that's why it's good to share okay uh so here we go i'm gonna read my body paragraph one make sure it makes sense again this is what i did in my exam so i wrote the paragraph i read the paragraph okay i didn't stop while i was writing the paragraph and i didn't make any corrections i just wrote the whole paragraph then i read the paragraph made some corrections and at the very end i read the whole essay and made some more corrections if some of you are thinking well i don't have enough time to do that it's not true because it's a balance of word count versus what you are doing so if you don't have enough time to read your paragraph and make corrections try to write less and still make corrections you'll get a better score okay all right um so the resources of wealthier countries assist poorer nations to advance their development much faster than if they were left to deal with their challenges on their own leading to noticeable change in a matter of years rather than decades when rich nations share not only their finances but also their knowledge and workforce with countries lacking in these domains they can establish infrastructure and education which in turn increases the rate of improving the local economy and employment of course any food provided from abroad aids the local people to have health and energy while they learn and build in light of this in 2016 the indian government exported around 1 million tons of wheat to south african regions which had been right because it's passive this is the type of correction that we're looking for which had been stricken with drought in order to aid the local governments and people and stimulate their economies in this way these communities recovered much faster from the disaster okay good now we're into body paragraph two and body paragraph two is uh with our second thesis point which is leading to strong independence okay so uh foreign aid um and uh local governments also helping their people uh to um so that they can be independent okay so here we go i'm going to write a little bit more fluently here but i want you to keep writing i will reference the chat to see who's writing and what you're writing okay um rajvir i see now why you chose japan because of the tsunami right um and four and eight okay so here we go i'm gonna start writing uh and then you do the same and then we'll compare okay okay all right let's see what you have uh os says local authorities must work hard to treat internal problems properly to achieve long-term stability and should transition to strong countries very nice os very good i'm not sure os if you uh worked on your essay before class but that's some great writing okay um yeah influential uphill okay so in the long term it is also the task of local governments to create the functional systems necessary to feed and educate their poor citizens so that they can become self-reliant and influential in the global community uh the ultimate okay so um and then the explanation you okay so i could keep writing here more explanations about for example the dangers of relying on external help when that external help is not available such as these days okay simply my explanation here is since most countries have unique cultures and identities which are best understood by local authorities it is the elected governments that are tasked with the responsibility to establish cities industries and create a long and rich cultural history which the country can be proud of right so that cannot be provided from outside help that has to be created from within the country and again i could explain more more about that but i'm going to stop here i'm going to try to stick to my 300 320 words limit okay all right rashika says local authorities have the responsibility to produce opportunities as a priority yeah exactly so that they can be self-sustaining okay all right okay um and then let's have uh an example so there are lots of examples of this as well in the world of countries working very hard so to create a prosperous economy all right so i'm going to use a different example here again you have to be visual uh think about some different places in the world that have really evolved quickly and i'm sure all of us can think of at least a couple uh i thought about the former soviet states uh some of them i'm not sure how many of you are keeping up with the changes in some of these countries such as kazakhstan or uzbekistan but these countries are evolving extremely fast and it's not because they're getting so much foreign assistance it's because they have good strong governments that are in the interest of the people they're making good decisions and you can see it in their economies so this type of internal development can be observed in many of the former soviet states which have now become modern economic powerhouses such as the country of kazakhstan that has evolved immensely to become a global business hub over the past five decades and instead of needing help from foreign countries it is now one of those countries that gives help to other countries okay as opposed to the past all right so now the conclusion okay so conclusion in conclusion for the i'm going to keep it a little bit simpler okay so there's my conclusion um so my conclusion is uh my um my argument restated and then um my key points strengthened and my take home message all right so now i'm going to read my whole essay and this time what i'm doing when i'm reading my essay is making sure i don't have too much repetition making sure that i answer the question accurately and completely okay here we go so i'm going to read the task 2 question one more time before i review so should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education or is this the responsibility of the government of poor nations to look after their citizens having the opportunity for a high quality of living is the right of all people this means improving the living standards for impoverished citizens in poor countries by providing basic needs such as nutrition and literacy for both survival and development okay uh i'm going to add commas here because i think this is an additive quote okay so by providing basic needs half stop such as nutrition and literacy half stop for both survival and development it is not only humanitarian but also beneficial for all people to aid impoverished populations okay and notice how my take home message answers that importance as such it is both the responsibility of wealthier nations as well as local governments of poor countries to aid their citizens the former is needed for faster progress and the latter for strong independence the resources of wealthier countries assist poor nations to advance their development much faster than if they were left to deal with challenges on their own leading to noticeable change in a matter of years rather than decades when rich nations and here honestly i don't like the word years because i think in reality it's more a matter of decades when help is given rather than centuries so taking hundreds of years okay when rich nations share not only their finances but also their knowledge and workforce with countries lacking in these domains they can establish infrastructure and education which in turn increases the rate of improving the local economy and employment of course any food provided from abroad aids the local people to have health and energy while they learn and build in light of this in 2016 the indian government exported around 1 million tons of wheat to south african regions which had been stricken with drought in order to aid the local governments and people and stimulate their economies in this way these communities recovered much faster from the disaster in the long term it is also the task of local governments to create the functional systems necessary to feed and educate their poor citizens so that they can become self-reliant and influential in the global community self-reliant means independent okay since most countries have unique cultures and identities which are best understood by local authorities i'm going to put another comma here because again it's an additive clause i okay so since most countries have unique cultures and identities which are best understood by local authorities it is the elected governments that are tasked with the responsibility to establish cities industries and create a long and rich cultural history which the country can be proud of this type of internal development can be observed in many of the former soviet states which have now become modern economic powerhouses such as the country of kazakhstan that has evolved immensely to become a global business hub over the past five decades okay in conclusion for the overall success of poor citizens and nations that have low investment capital it must be the responsibility of both the local authorities and wealthier nations to achieve optimal results with the combined efforts of local and foreign aid people can both suffer less and develop quickly and develop quickly i think suffer less and develop more ultimately the goal is to build a utopic global community as fast as possible okay so that took me about two three minutes to review my own writing and fix some of those mistakes now if i have some more obviously would take me another minute or two but i'm happy with it i feel that it answers my question or the question that's being asked of me by the exam and that's how you do it you build it okay and yes you can do it it just takes a bit of practice all right so make sure to practice practice practice so keep following these strategies keep following this structure again this is not my way this is not adrian's way this is standard english persuasive essay writing okay oh it's really good job today i don't know if you prepared in advance or not but whatever you did it was great it was nice seeing some good quality writing from you today so keep it up okay uh osman andrey uh thank you everybody for being in the class rajvir um welcome to our newest member i believe it was nico um who may or may not still be here coming up in roughly 30 minutes i will be back with speaking part two i believe for um the all chat class yeah it's gonna be a speaking part two so make sure to join me for that for lots more tips and strategies have a nice break and hopefully i will see you soon again remember to join our ielts packages ae help.com for academic ielts and glthelp.com for general it's a one-time payment for lifetime access it's not very expensive so um it's worth it okay everyone see you soon bye for now you

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies

Id: DQ41w3xSiRQ

Length: 59min 49sec (3589 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 27 2021