IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Finishing a Band 9 Essay

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i am streaming to you live from beautiful victoria here in british columbia the westernmost province of canada i hope everybody has had a good week so far and is looking forward to a fantastic weekend welcome jaineel hi sammy good to see our members in the class this session is for members chat only of course everybody is welcome to watch and while we wait for a few more members so pawan just joined in uh this lesson is presented to you by ae help dot com for academic ielts success visit us there for the general ielts check us out at g ielts help dot com that's generalised help dot help.com on both of those websites we have lots of help for your speaking your writing listening reading making sure that you improve your english communication and of course increase your band scores welcome carolina our moderator hi rajveer manny deep gawud and rashika good to see many students in the class today so quickly it's awesome all right let me just show you our websites real quick everyone uh if you haven't yet join us here this is our academic islets website at aehelp.com you can click this big red button to join our premium package it's a one-time payment for lifetime access this is our general ielts web portal here it's with the green background and you can click this big red button to join we are an official british council outs registration center and certified agents so you're in good hands with us if you have questions just send me an email to adrian aehelp.com all right um welcome june and nick hill so uh we're going to get right into our task two this is a continuation from yesterday's class yesterday we composed an introduction to this question here so let's just look over the question the introduction and then the goal for today are is to write the body paragraphs and of course the conclusion so ielts task to writing you should spend about 40 minutes on this task as certain regions of the world become increasingly warmer people are forced to find alternative solutions for places to live discuss the causes and consequences of this change include explanations and examples for your arguments write at least 250 words and as some of you can probably guess this question was inspired by some of the heat waves that were experiencing here in canada and i think in some other parts of the world as well so um we did some really good planning yesterday and then uh composed our introductory uh paragraph so uh this is our introductory paragraph let's just take a look at this it has three parts hook background thesis statement okay uh global warming is forcing a major shift in the habitats of billions of human lives some places especially equatorial climate zones are becoming too hot 45 degrees plus and people are forced to move to cooler more northern and southern climates individuals have difficulty being productive and staying healthy in places of extremely high temperatures they are forced into air conditioned environments to avoid heat stroke and sun stroke and then here we go this is the thesis it's very important both human activity and natural change is causing this phenomenon and the consequences are increasing competition and conflict okay so here we have our causes and consequences and you can clearly see from this thesis statement that the causes will be one paragraph and the consequences will be another uh paragraph there's no solutions in this essay it's just the causes and the consequences so let's get going on body paragraph one and uh what do we do to start body paragraph one so uh can you tell me what my next step is in my essay composition and it really is kind of a recipe of course you have to use your own original thought and you have to find the right words to express yourself but the actual format the structure of the essay is a recipe it is a standard because there are standard ways to create arguments or to present ideas so that it's clear for your audience okay carolina says start by writing a topic sentence and sami says that topic sentence right is a definition of the first part of the thesis or the first point in the thesis yeah exactly right so topic sentence which further defines point one in the thesis exactly so that's what you start with and in this case that is our causes uh so in this case um it's human activity and natural change causing the phenomenon of global warming okay all right um so give me a deeper definition of human activity uh causing the change of global warming be critical think critically and also natural change i don't think you want to separate these into two elements again the ielts is minimum 250 words but maximum about 350 400 350 and then some time to review okay so give me a nice definition of both human activity and natural change okay think about some co-related conjunctions here as well i'm gonna do the same and then we'll compare okay we're gonna move nice and smooth in today's class so that we can really just go step by step and finish this uh essay okay all right so there is my uh topic sentence that gives a much deeper definition to the thesis point okay i'm going to read this while you're composing yours again remember students that you do have to build writing fluency so it's good to do that in these classes do push yourself to create these sentences in a relatively short amount of time okay again you have to be able to fit planning composing and reviewing all into the 40 minutes and write at least 250 words okay all right um rajvir writes not only human activities have drastically increased the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere but also changes in the earth's trajectory with respect to the sun leads to global warming yeah okay it's good rajvir it's somewhat similar to mine so i wrote both the shift in the earth's uh in the earth's relatives position to the sun as well as the rapid industrial evolution of humans are lending way notice this interesting expression here our lending way to rapidly increasing surface temperatures on our planet okay lending way means to influence to cause okay so both the shift in the earth's relative position to the sun as well as the rapid industrial evolution of humans are lending way to rapidly increasing surface temperatures on our planet all right jaineel writes these days uh people are facing warmer climates than in the past than past weather in certain parts of the world due to both human deeds and earth positioning to the sun uh not bad ginyu it's a little bit on the awkward side um but it's not bad okay all right uh june writes uh both human activities such as deforestation and overuse of fossil fuels as well as the change in the distance between the earth and the sun contribute to the increasing temperature of the atmosphere of our planet okay june so you're kind of going a little bit into explanation using such as which is okay you can do that um again as long as you reach the 250 words it's fine you can combine your topic sentence with your explanation just make sure that you're clear on the fact that you are going into the explanation with your topic sentence as well okay all right better late than never apollo jump on in sami writes individuals using the latest technology that includes many poisonous gases and development of buildings and industries that cause the global warming sami good fluency some grammatical errors there again separate out the topic from the explanation pedro writes these days the increase in farmer production are requiring a dramatic amount of water and land in this sense consuming or destroying our ecosystems around human beings pedro you need to get to the point so you're not clearly connecting your idea to this question to this topic you have to make direct connections okay good essays that get high band scores have very clear directions so you have to keep thinking about global warming people moving to other regions of the world that has to be in your mind with every sentence that you write okay depica says inventions by mankind like the air conditioners refrigerators vehicles which release harsh chemicals like chlorofluorocarbons and co2 into the atmosphere uh causes thinning of the ozone layer lending to the pica that sounds like your explanation much more than your topic sentence so again make sure that it's clear what is the topic sentence what is the explanation okay the explanation is coming up now okay so explanations should be real world and should be quantitative should be logical and should be directly related to your topic sentence okay that's the idea of an explanation so basically with mine um the question that uh the reader would have here is okay well what do you mean the earth's relative position to the sun is shifting okay so here i have to be kind of clever and i have to really think about that right so here is the sun okay here is our earth i'm going to draw it much bigger than it actually is obviously so here i'm a visual thinker okay throughout the ielts exam i'm visualizing so as soon as i walk into my ielts exam center i have to keep in mind the strategy that i have to see information if i cannot see information it's very difficult for my audience to see information right so here we have our sun here we have the earth okay and as one can imagine so the earth has a rotation like this and the earth has a rotation like this around the sun okay um and uh no you do not have to study astronomy just think about your basic elementary school science classes right so you have the sun so the earth can shift on its axis okay that's its axis and as we know it is shifting on its axis okay and it can also change its trajectory and its distance from the sun and both of those clearly will have an effect on the weather patterns and on climate on earth okay it's kind of a naive idea to believe that our earth makes the exact same rotation on its axis and around the sun non-stop right so that's kind of the natural phenomenon which lends uh to changes in weather patterns warmer or colder temperatures also of course the changing temperature of the sun but we're not going to get into that and that's probably a different timeline anyway so that's kind of what we're talking about with the earth's relative position and then uh rapid industrial evolution uh so i explained this part uh you tell me what does um rapid industrial evolution mean uh when we're referring to increasing uh temperatures so what do you think okay what would you what would you think makes logical sense you don't have to write your sentence for your explanation yet just give me some ideas some note form or point form ideas in the chat so rapid industrial evolution what do you think i mean when i say that in my topic sentence what am i actually referring to for my reader okay how how will i explain that so what's my logical content in that case okay while you do that i'm going to start writing the first part of my explanation which is uh the shift in the earth's relative position to the sun okay right all right while i think about how to finish my sentence let's see what you've come up with um so rajvir says factories are using machines which produce air pollution increases co2 in the atmosphere depica says says flights to and from pobanza's increased pollution more waste yes deforestation uh polaris is asking shouldn't the name earth be capitalized because it's the name of our planet right um yeah you can and the reason why we capitalize earth is because we refer to the earth as in the soil as earth as well and if we're talking about soil we keep it a small e but when we're talking about the planet we often refer to it as a big e both are okay all right there's no conclusive rule on that so the sun is the name of our star yet we still don't capitalize it so the sun in the earth it's a little bit of a confusing one paulo it's a good question you won't lose marks if you have small e instead of a big e okay um so both are okay apollo is the the simple answer okay uh so pawan says air pollution water pollution land pollution yeah depica says uh invention of plastics um okay uh what do we call the modern era that kind of started in britain during the 1700s 1800s think about that as well uh kelsey good to see kelsey uh in the class says rapid industrial development yeah um what we can say simply there is industrial revolution right uh brought new machines that produce pollution yeah so factories the establishment of factories and mass production okay and of course as a result a booming population as well right so uh over the past couple of centuries so go ahead everyone and now write your explanation okay write the explanation and then we'll compare so over the past couple of centuries the earth has shifted both on its axis as well as distance to the sun which has resulted in temperature increase this has been accelerated by the industrial revolution okay i'm going to keep a little bit quiet so you can hear yourself think while i finish this sentence all right um one important point paula going back to that question about earth being capitalized is if you start with a small e and you refer to the earth with a small e in the beginning make sure you have consistency sometimes students ask like do i need to use british or american spelling of words it doesn't really matter what's really important is that if you choose one spelling so you choose the british spelling of a word then you have the same spelling of that word in the entire essay so you don't change from british to american okay all right okay let's see what some of our students have written for the explanation all right nick hill says harmful gases released by factories like co2 and deforestation and cfcs used in refrigerators okay that's part of your sentence nikhil i'll try to find the rest of it later on danielle says in light of my notion people are cutting trees polluting seas in the air for making for improving their quality of life so the earth's atmosphere is all right uh gineal this is not a first person essay so be careful okay this is a third person essay we don't have an i me my opinion in the thesis all right be very careful all right june says scientific report reports provide information that earth revolution over a thousand years have resulted in shorter distances between the earth and the sun which is leading to higher surface temperatures on the earth okay june you have a good idea again concise so i think you can express that in a much more concise way so scientific uh reports explain that the earth's revolution over the past millennium have resulted in a shorter distance between the earth and the sun leading to higher surface temperature period okay so and i think we can make it even more concise if i thought a little bit more about it and went over it once or twice okay we have a question here from depica de pika says what if we or i didn't know much scientific information like earth's access distance blah blah blah and then thinking emoji emoji it's a good question depica ielts is a thinking exam that's why when you're sitting the academic version you're doing the academic version and not the general version the information that you know the way that you are able to access your knowledge from elementary school middle school high school and so on will have an effect on your mark of course so especially deepika at the band 789 level content becomes much more important so once you're at a band 7 especially a band 8 the examiners are really looking at the content and not just your ability to use grammar and vocabulary and have the correct essay structure so if you can't think of the scientific knowledge that is um a big part of the answer you're not going to get as good of a mark that's that's the simple uh or that's the truth i guess topeka in that case all right janelle writes uh furthermore some natural changes in the sun and earth's orbits where both shift from their position are giving rise to the uh temperature during the summer and winter months so danielle you have a really nice start to your explanation i would stay away from saying during the summer months because even winters are becoming much warmer right that's why a lot of places don't get snow anymore where they used to so it's not exclusive to the summer months summer is just when we really feel the heat okay sammy says people in their regular life use both vehicles for transportation and cooling machines like refrigerators and air conditioners which release greenhouse gases also cutting down the trees and the construction of factories and buildings lead to global warming okay good sammy so you're sticking to the human impact of global warming which is fine and that's kind of another perspective topeka is if for example you're not referring to the sun but you're focusing more on the human impact that's okay too all right but of course you have to have at least one of those two clearly figured out okay all right and then now we talk about an example right the example has to be specific and real world okay um so let me give you an example of the example and then you'll see what i mean uh make sure that um again it's specific it's quantitative it's visible so a good example is an example where your reader can empathize with what you're writing okay so you okay so i'm just kind of coming up with this but you could use any country that's uh kind of an equatorial climate in saudi arabia the average temperature over the course of the past decade has increased by one degree celsius annually and now summer highs can reach over 50 degrees forcing many citizens to find other places to migrate to okay all right so go ahead and write your example while you do that i'm going to review my paragraph and make sure that it makes sense for the reader and make sure that it's related to the question clearly okay so when you finish a paragraph it's a good idea to stop for a moment and then um review that paragraph so in your task two writing for the aisle it's what i suggest doing which it's a good strategy it's an effective strategy and practice this at home so you make sure that you can reach both your word limit and not go over your time limit is when you finish a paragraph like you finish your introduction read it make corrections then write your body paragraph one when you finish your body paragraph one read it make corrections then write your body paragraph two uh welcome bjor atem uh nice to have you uh and our group of members please make sure to send me an email so i can send you your videos and your exams okay so uh here we go um both the shift in the earth's relative position to the sun as well uh as indus as the rapid industrial evolution of humans are lending way to uh rapidly increasing surface temperatures of our planet i don't like the repetition of the word rapid and rapidly okay even though they're different word forms so i'm going to be more concise and i'm just going to take away rapidly okay if i really wanted to keep that i could do quickly at least it's different but i don't need it i don't think so uh i'm going to be more concise okay so both the shift in the earth's relative position to the sun as well as the rapid industrial evolution of humans are lending way to increasing surface temperatures and i don't need our planet because i think that's intrinsic it's clear okay over the past couple of centuries the earth has shifted both on its axis as well as its distance to the sun which has resulted in temperature increase okay this has been accelerated by the industrial revolution which has brought about factories which create i don't really like that sentence i've already mentioned industrial evolution so or sorry revolution so i don't need to really talk about that so this has been accelerated by automation and factories which create pollution that results in greenhouse in a greenhouse effect further increasing temperatures on earth or the temperature on earth all right in saudi arabia the average temperature over the course of the past decade has increased by 1 degrees celsius annually and now summer highs can reach over 50 degrees forcing many citizens to fund other places to migrate to okay good now it's more concise i like it it's more accurate it reads better all right so you want to make those kinds of changes all right all right okay uh let's see what you have yeah so jun's asking i was wondering the example here should be related with the two reasons we talked about like how certain human activity affects migration in a country uh yeah june it can okay so uh write your example and then i'll let you know if i think it's accurate here my example is kind of also my concluding sentence in some sense because i'm relating to the question okay so the question says that uh increasing uh temperatures are forcing people to find other places to live so i'm kind of i've more or less explained why the temperature is increasing and then i've given an example of where it's increasing and how it's forcing people to move so again i'm keep going back to the original question but yes june you could give an example that talks about how co2 gases in the atmosphere have more than doubled over the last century according to a scientific report okay so sammy says nearby nearby is one word sammy so nearby uh city of chennai has factories which cut stones and this makes gravel for construction this company produces a lot of dust and chemical powder which spreads over the areas at least a couple of kilometers and the trees in that place have died and oxygen levels have decreased yeah so sammy you're doing exactly what june is asking about so you're giving a specific example of a factory that's uh creating the type of pollution which leads to increased temperatures okay and yeah that's fine to do that all right just make sure you tie it back to the increasing temperatures okay it's a little bit tricky all right nick hill says due to unprecedented increase in temperatures by more than four degrees celsius in canada in the us the exodus of citizens are migrating to other countries like new zealand uh yeah okay nick hill so you're kind of more like my example where you're actually giving giving an example of the shift of people from a to b because of those increasing temperatures okay june i'm glad you got that because it was kind of an awkward explanation on my part but i'm glad you made sense of it okay depicus has a year back the world's largest forest the amazon which produces almost 20 percent of the earth's oxygen had a major forest fire releasing a lot of smoke causing people to be evacuated yeah forest fires create a lot of um fumes and gases as well and definitely lead to increased surface temperatures so that would be a good example depica of the natural change which leads to increased surface temperatures okay so let's conclude this paragraph and then move on to body paragraph two okay so this is the cause and now comes the consequence so connecting the two paragraphs simply mention that this causes some sort of action right so okay so this is my connecting sentence here clearly the exodus of millions of people to other parts of the world has major social and political impact on society okay all right so that's my connecting concluding sentence because now i'm going to write about my uh second thesis point which of course is the consequence of this increasing temperature and movement of people now here again i have to be careful because there are lots of consequences to this uh it doesn't just affect our social and political spheres but of course it's going to affect a lot of other like economic and so on but i have to be careful not to have too much information in a concluding or connecting sentence okay all right uh rajvir very similar suraj says this mass movement of humans to cooler areas has some serious ramifications on societies yeah exactly sammy writes these kinds of activities impact individuals to migrate to cooler parts of the world good okay all right depica amazon should definitely be capitalized because amazon is the specific name of the forest so the amazon forest capital a capital f yes okay um earth and uh the sun uh that's kind of a rare case where smaller big s's are used or smaller big e's and s's are used okay so same idea here with um our second body paragraph okay so my thesis point says that the consequences are increasing competition and conflict okay all right so i want to um i want to again define that in a little bit more detail so uh we're um getting a little bit short on time in the class so i'm going to start writing a bit more fluently my body paragraph 2. you do the same so focus on fluency as well as content and then i will take a peek up at the chat to see what you're doing okay and give you some feedback so focus on fluency here hi paulo yeah apollo ramification is a synonym ramification is a synonym for consequence uh both consequence and ramification um have the idea of result and it's negative so some kind of negative result consequence or ramification ramification and consequence are basically perfect synonyms okay both of them have a sense of negative result all right okay roger writes mass migration to the cooler places ignited by scorching hot temperatures increases the competition for survival as well as causes clashes among citizens in cooler places uh okay not bad rajvir i'm a little bit unclear on what you're actually saying with that okay all right so as population densities and the demand for survival increase in limited areas of the world so too does economic and physical conflict among individuals all right yeah so here what i'm visualizing is people kind of being squished or squeezed into smaller parts of the world so there's more people there's less land uh and people all want to inhabit the same land for livability i'm trying to visualize that and put that together in a clear way uh using the right words so i have the idea and now what i was doing there was kind of finding the ways to express that idea um so this is what i came up with so far and if i don't find the right words or the right grammar that's okay as long as i get my idea down i can go on to my explanation and my example and then later when i'm finished my body paragraph i can come back and i can rephrase it rewrite it okay it's a little bit trickier of course if you're doing the paper-based exam that's why i recommend doing this with pencil instead of pen if possible and uh in the computer base that's kind of one of the advantages is you just can't get the idea down and then you can come back erase it and change it and it's going to be very clean penmanship and clear of course okay all right devange says the increasing density in populations in cooler region leads to a fight for survival yeah this circumstance is directly proportional to the change in the economic parameter of the nation davange that's quite good okay it's quite good june writes the unprecedented migration to north and south will lead to larger populations in those areas and thus more sphere competition in job markets and increasing number of conflicts among residents yeah very good june yeah nice way to express it okay so i have as population densities and the demand for survival increase in limited areas of the world so too does economic and physical conflict among individuals all right all right um so for my explanation millions of people are seeking better lives in north and south america as well as europe and asia where weather patterns can sustain human life as a result real estate prices are skyrocketing and nationalist sentiments are increasing okay or i might instead of increasing i've used the word increasing so often flaring okay uh nationalist sentiments are basically like when uh people feel that this is their country and they don't want other people to come into that country right so they're being protective of their nation or their national identity and that also of course often has to do with that conflict and competition for space so nationalist sentiments are flaring and we can see some of that in the world today okay all right um all right so there's a kind of real world example uh it's fairly easy for me because i can actually see it here in my part of the world so cooler cities in uh canada like victoria vancouver have experienced a population boom of 50 over the past decade and this has resulted in average house prices being over a million dollars it's true just this past year in victoria the average home now costs more than a million dollars all right okay uh rajvira writes due to the high demand of accommodation facilities for an increased populace in certain areas the real estate sector becomes expensive and citizens experience cutthroat competition and getting jobs and buying homes exactly rajvir yeah that's exactly it you're very much in line with what i've been writing good sami writes when human beings are overpopulated in a particular area that leads to more sickness and inflation surges therefore people lives are suffocated therefore people suffer sammy again simplify all right okay so i'm going to review my paragraph make sure that it makes sense uh as population densities and the demand for survival increase in limited areas of the world so too does economic and physical conflict among individuals millions of people are seeking better lives in north and south america as well as europe and asia where weather patterns can sustain human life as a result real estate prices are skyrocketing and nationalist sentiments are flaring cooler cities in canada like victoria and vancouver have experienced a population boom of 50 over the past decade and this has resulted in average house prices being over a million dollars okay all right now uh depending on my time i could digress further so i would definitely do a time check here in the ielts exam to see how much time i have for my conclusion if i have about let's say 8 to 10 minutes left in my 40 minutes at this point then i would definitely just go to my conclusion finish the conclusion and then review my whole essay one more time so in a perfect world you're able to review each paragraph when you're done composing that paragraph and you're able to review the whole essay before the end of your writing section that's in a perfect world okay so hopefully you can do that okay all right so the conclusion the conclusion also has three parts kind of like the introduction but they're a little bit different so it has your points restated your argument strengthened and some kind of a take-home message so something that's useful for your reader those are the different parts of the conclusion okay all right i'm going to type up the conclusion so we can finish this essay you do the same and then i'll try to take some time to to check and see what you've you've written okay janiel writes in relation to the previous example certain parts of uh of uh certain parts of kinney or certain canadians let's keep it simpler genials so in relation to the previous example certain canadians from british columbia and alberta are moving to ontario where property prices have boomed sixty percent over the past year sure okay all right uh use in conclusion on the ielts exam it's a good idea they like to see that so it's very clear that you're writing a conclusion okay in conclusion both human use of resources and natural cosmic changes result in increasing temperatures on earth and this has negative consequences for people's lives namely people are becoming more competitive and fighting for survival okay uh just really being direct here so namely people are becoming more competitive and fighting for uh survival okay what's the take-home message um the take-home message should always be something that we can clearly get from the essay okay uh and um uh it's something that uh is derived from the explanations from the examples and it's something that might be useful uh for the reader it cannot be a new idea okay so let's think about that all right all right uh so certainly humanity as a whole must rapidly evolve socially and technologically in order to mitigate the impact of climate change all right um so basically saying like yeah we have to figure out what to do and how to do going forward in order to guarantee the survival of our species all right now that's our conclusion so that is my essay and at this point if i still have a little bit of time i would review the whole essay and make sure that it makes sense but unfortunately i'm out of time so i have to stop there okay and uh don't worry you will get some more uh time to practice writing because i'm going to be back in 30 minutes with a task one bar graph the reason why task one is a bit easier than task two is because all of the information is presented for you so it's not as much of a thinking kind of essay as uh task two uh i was actually i felt a lot of pressure in this task too to try to think about good sentences uh to create a good essay and uh honestly speaking i would probably revise this essay a couple of times before i'm satisfied with it so when you're practicing at home that's what you should do if you're not completely happy with your essay stop read it again revise it make it better okay in this case i think i'm going to do that before i post it on our youtube community board so that's it for this class but don't go too far because in 30 minutes i will be back with a task one bar graph question and we'll we're going to go over that and complete that essay all in one class and of course everybody will be able to join in on that chat you're very welcome sammy uh some good writing from our members today i'm really happy to see some new members kind of jumping in and giving their opinion make sure to continue doing that okay so practice makes perfect right so keep that up all right everyone so again uh to see lots of videos get lots more practice see lots of tasks to sample essays visit us at aehelp.com for academic outs and gltshelp.com for uh general ielts okay all right you

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies

Id: AIp6ulWosHY

Length: 59min 52sec (3592 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 02 2021