IELTS Live - Task 2 - Band 9 Writing Tricks

today's live IELTS class my name is Adrian and I am streaming to you from beautiful Budapest here in Central Europe I hope everybody is having a great week this is a Members chat class what that means is members can chat everybody else is welcome to view to become a member you need to click the join button beside the subscribe button on our youtube channel if you do not see it you can send me an email this is an IELTS task 2 writing class task 2 is very similar in both the academic and the general versions of the test similar types of questions so practicing task 2 in this class will help you with academic or general modules of writing Makonnen bezawit's good to see you in class there's some members joining in hi Jayram students materials do come from our websites AE help calm for academic version of the test and g IELTS help that's general IELTS help calm for the general version of this exam hi Li yang hai Shing hyung download our app for the academic IELTS look for this shield search your iOS and Android app stores for academic IELTS help and if you have questions comments concerns members if you have requests for these members chat classes make sure to send them to my email adrienne ADR I am at AE help calm hi roshni hi Alex and are good to see more members coming into the class you can get our books in hardcover as well as digital format on Amazon search for these titles AE helps academic IELTS Sergi helps general IELTS let's get going with task 2 and then in 90 minutes we will have a listening practice task 1 and to this task 2 question was sent to us by one of our members and it reads like this IELTS writing task 2 in many parts of the world people spend much time to research family history some say that this has lots of benefits others believe that we should focus on the present and future generations discuss both views and give your own opinion write at least 250 words kind of an interesting question certainly about family history looking at the past or looking at the future perhaps both we need to discuss both alright members what should be my first step so I open up my tasks to question in the exam booklet for the IELTS or maybe I'm on that page if I'm doing the computer-based and I read this question what should be the first and it has to be very mechanical here so your strategy should be step 1 step 2 step 3 that you practice at home before the test so this should happen quickly what's my step number one yeah let's paraphrase the question that's right Shanklin let's state the question in our own words make sure we understand it collect some valuable vocabulary so I'm going to do that you can do the same so in several regions of the globe instead of in many parts of the world okay that's the first bit and ideally when you're practicing your English your vocabulary your practicing paraphrasing at home your paraphrasing at about at least 50% of the speed that I'm at okay so I realize I'm doing it fairly quickly you don't have to be as fast but about half that speed should be your goal so so far in several regions of the globe individuals invest many hours to explore their family's past all right so there is my full paraphrase okay while we're waiting for our members here's the original question for the task - one more time in many parts of the world people spend much time to research family history some say that this has lots of benefits others believe that we should focus on the present and future generations discuss both views and give your own opinion ok write at least 250 words notice that this is at least 250 words not 230 not 240 it's 250 so if you go over 250 that's a good idea ok ban 7 8 9 essays are usually more than 250 words alright here's my paraphrase in several regions of the globe individuals invest many hours to explore their family's past certain people state that this has some advantages others ascertain that society ought to concentrate on the current generations and those to come explain both of these perspectives and give your own thoughts this is a very direct paraphrase of this original sentence or original sentences notice that I have at least 70% word replacement in my paraphrase and it's at least 95 percent accurate that should be your goal all right what's my next step so step 1 paraphrase what's step number 2 what is step number two so I've done my quick paraphrase step number two again members in this class I'm going to push you a little bit you might find the pace to be a little bit faster I want you to feel the timing of the real exam so step number two identify the topic and controlling idea okay what's the topic what is the topic here meanwhile I'll read Shang Hong's paraphrase Shang Hong says others say that people should invest the current and forthcoming generations explain both of these views I see Shang hung it got reversed there so Shang Hong says in the different regions of the globe individuals spend many days to find their families past few people think that this has advantages some and few here in this case Shang hung some is actually means several K not few or a group of people think that this has advantages Shang hyung says others say that people should invest current and forthcoming generations okay not bad Danish saying identify the topic controlling ideas you're right Danish that was before for dobbs nut yep good to see you in class says the topic here is family history okay maybe kisi says in many nations individuals put lots of effort researching family trees very nice kisi and past events certain people believe that this brings lots of advantages however others things think they should spend more time on the current and future family kisi really nice paraphrase good for you to find those words in your thoughts researching family trees indeed that's a family tree your solemn good to see you in class your solemn says in different places around the globe around the world individuals run through many researches about their ancestors history explore much information about their ancestors history your solemn certain people agree with this ideology while others think people should be concerned about the present and future generation you're Salim that's good you don't need to disagree and think okay it's unnecessary you just need to say others think because the while is the opposition okay Shangdong says the topic is spend much time to research family history okay I would actually say that the topic is time spent on family okay so this is a little bit of a tricky one and you definitely should always practice identifying the right topic here okay I would say that the topic most accurately for this question is time spent on family or family studies okay what's the controlling idea if I have if I have correctly identified this topic then what's the controlling idea firdaws says the disadvantages and benefits of exploring family history that's half of it for dogs if I have this then I know that the controlling idea is benefits and deficits of researching family history versus focusing on the present and future it's a very put-together question it's quite a tricky one okay so this should be the most accurate topic and controlling idea time spent on family studies so I'm investing an hour today I can invest it on learning about my grandparents or I can invest it in deciding how to correctly educate my child in the future which University you send them to for example okay so time spent on family studies is the most accurate topic careful students if you don't have the right topic it's tricky to have the best essay okay fine so let's talk about this a little bit let's get into some what why how questions let's jump right to the why because the what is often intuitive so why should we learn about lineage okay so the word lineage think of the word line it's actually quite simple to remember think of line and think of age okay so a family tree like grandfather cake grandmother and then you have children okay and then you have the children's children so this is called a family tree and altogether this is called your lineage okay just remember line age line age right it's the age of the line in progression so that's your lineage all right your lineage is your past it's also called your ancestry another way to say it is ancestry so what are the benefits of knowing our ancestry of learning our lineage can anybody tell me so Ford of says to preserve family traditions which may be beneficial right certain family traditions for doves can be beneficial to preserve if we know it right if we know our lineage what else yeah your Selim's are you saying to know about our origin and where we come from but why is that so what why is that advantageous that in itself your solemn to know where we come from is not necessarily a benefit simply because I know where I come from doesn't necessarily give me advantages why would that be beneficial for the future so try to take it one step further okay so kisi says to form strong relationships yeah that is more specific okay kisi that was good so kisi says we can form strong bonds with family members when we have deep roots when we have a long family history and we create respect and integrity within the family sure alright so careful your students to know simply where you're from isn't necessarily an advantage if I'm thinking about this what I would think of is something like to fuel the feeling of family pride which encourages or motivates achievement okay that would be a big one for me if I were thinking critically about this so I visualize it don't forget about visualization when you're planning your ideas and for all of our viewers having good planning is the one biggest trick to getting high band scores okay so if I visualize and I imagine that my grandfather was a great man he was a hard-working man and my father was a hard-working man hopefully not always but hopefully it will encourage me to carry that pride of my fathers and forefathers and therefore I too want to become a great man maybe my grandfather was a doctor my father was a doctor so I too will become a famous doctor and help heal the world okay so alright Makonnen says in some religions you can't marry your family members so it's best to know who's your blood sure okay so even Makonnen even in a broader sense there you can actually say and even in Muslim cultures these days I know that there are genetic studies that are done for this so we can say to encourage better genetics it's a very scientific way of looking at it but that is discussed these days and there are a lot of people who take this very seriously we need our family history so that we can encourage better genetic mixing for the future so for medical purposes your solemn says yes definitely now you're thinking critically okay ideal you want these to come quickly so those are some good some benefits so why focus on future generations let's take the opposite here so versus okay so we have lots for that first one it's plenty why should we why should we focus more time on what's going on with our children today and what will happen with our grandchildren tomorrow so in 2035 why should we pay attention to that rather than spending hundreds of dollars on genetic tests trying to find out where my great-grandfather was born so Shang Hong says because we can't change our past but we can we can create our future so okay sure any other ideas so your solemn says for a better future yeah okay can you be a little bit more concrete alright so for a better future sure try to give me some more ideas okay take it to the next level the same as with the advantages of investing time researching the past okay okay so one that comes to mind and again this is visualization right is imagine the challenges of future generations so we have all kinds of economic difficulties around the globe we have pollution problems around the globe we have the extinction of animal species around the globe we have the threat of potentially interstellar dangers like meteor or comets hitting the earth so we have all of these looming threats scarcity of food scarcity of freshwater so we have all these looming threats overpopulation so these are what I visualized when I think about what will my child and what will my grandchild have to deal with when they become adults and indeed they will need to tackle these problems and solve these very very challenging situations and it is my responsibility to raise them to be able to meet these challenges head on and hopefully of course succeed and survive okay so that's absolutely the idea and then Kesey says well to pass the legacy to the next generation so that they live in greater wealth and prosperity yes okay all right so we have our visualizations we have our planning what comes next what's my step three while you think of step 3 if danishes still there I'll jump back to the question you should always read the question the original question before engaging in step three okay so the original question Danish I know you were asking earlier is in many parts of the world people spend much time to research family history some say that this has lots of benefits others believe that we should focus on the present and future generations discuss both views and give your own opinion meanwhile Shang hungin roshni's say come up with a thesis statement now Adrian which is your next step and that is our next step by the way to all of our viewers I do usually include the question in the stream description so you can see this question there any time okay so yeah you're right members very good thesis statement okay it is the argument of the essay your voice your position and structure of content ok that's your thesis statement alright so I am going to create my thesis statement while you do the same member so write some good thesis statements stay on par here again we're moving along nice and smooth today because I do want to show you that aside from all of the instructions I'm giving you 40 minutes it's a fair bit of time if you know what you're doing okay all right so here is my paraphrase for this or sorry my thesis statement for this question I just realized that we had a elts essentials join us as well welcome to our channel make sure to send me an email which describes who you are and your membership level so I can hook you up with those perks okay so this is for IELTS essentials welcome to our membership our group here okay so here is my thesis statement which shows the reader the structure of the essay my voice certain benefits of investing time into learning one's lineage are setting foundations to motivate achievement and discovering knowledge to negate illness notice the interesting parallel grammar here setting discovering foundations knowledge to motivate to negate achievement illness so I have the exact same grammar form in point one or argument point one of this first paragraph as in the second and I've divided my thesis into two sentences I usually show you one sentence thesis statements but I want to show you that a thesis statement can be two sentences it's okay you can go sentence one paragraph one sentence two body paragraph two okay so to be clear sentence one body one sentence two body two and body two includes my opinion which is I tend to support this latter belief that means that in the end if we must decide it's better to focus on and future generations than the past past is important but the future is more important so that's the side I support so this is my thesis statement certain benefits of investing time into learning one's lineage are setting foundations to motivate achievement and discovering knowledge to negate illness on the contrary taking time to care for current and future generation elites Foster's capable adults to tackle the problems of society I tend to support this latter belief or this latter use of time could be another way to finish that sentence and of course this is why we call it a thesis statement and not a thesis sentence because you can write it in multiple sentences even three sentences if it's a bigger paper okay all right meanwhile for Dobbs has his thesis for Dobbs says although certain individuals ascertain that exploring family history has a lot of benefits this is not changeable people should focus on the current and future generations so for dogs it's not bad I get your position and I get that it's third-person voice and I also get that that you're going to be writing about the exploring family history first but it's better if you can be a little bit more direct so a little bit clearer with what I can expect in your body paragraph 1 and 2 notice for dogs that in my multi sentence thesis the reader knows that embody paragraph 1 we can expect something about learning about family history to gain motivation and to avoid illness ok we don't well actually in the second one we learned that body paragraph 2 will have something about tackling problems or solving problems for society so a little bit more direct okay a good thesis should clearly message the reader the intent of the writer alright okay so while I'm waiting for more thesis statements from our members I'm going to start my essay now and the essay starts with the introductory paragraph okay so introduction has three parts it has a hook it has background information and it has the thesis okay so those are the three elements of a good introduction so those are the three elements of a good introduction and you should practice having these in your introduction whether you're sitting for the general or academic doesn't matter okay the hook should be a simple statement it's a simple fact that introduces the topic of the essay that's your hook all right here remember the topic of the essay is time spent on family studies okay time spent on family studies so let's create a hook using that okay here's my hook and again I'm encouraging all of our members to write your hook so I can review them okay yeah there we go simple to the point so here's my hook it is common for most people around the globe to invest a significant amount of time to learn about their family all right sure that works Kesey's thesis statement meanwhile good job kisi getting it out there kisi says preserving family traditions and investing time to research family trees are essential but I strongly believe that humans should focus more on current and future generational needs because fostering strong independent children to deal with global problems is more important kisi that's very nice ok so I like how your thesis emphasizes the point the side that you agree with more and that's great ok that's good writing kisi and it's it is specific enough that I get an idea of what you will write about your solemn - well daya says although certain people agree that individuals should spend time to explore their family tree for different purposes like health issues your like health issues , I believe that people should consider building a better future your solemn the your ancestors dealt with in order for preserve or preventing genetic diseases just take that out ok and never switch your solemn to second person voice so the your is a big no-no there your solemn do not write your into your thesis that emphasizes that you're writing a second person essay it's not good ok roshni says some people ascertain that in different regions of the globe individuals spend more time learning ancestry to motivate achievement however I believe those who focus on the future generations so roshni you're on the right track just a little bit off with a word order and grammar otherwise quite good ok Amarjeet says even though certain individuals think it is important to spend quality time to explore lineage achievements which helps to find weaknesses opponents ascertain that taking time to learn about future and present generations and then you retract the rest of it amar Jeet I made a few Corrections but you are on the right track okay Shang hung all though knowing family history has benefits for not only learning knowledge but also avoiding past mistakes I believe that focusing on the present and future helps to create a better life and people should invest their times into this so their children can focus on solving global problems Shang Hong I have to do a little bit of correction there especially Shang hung really pay attention to that double negative the although and on the other hand ok Dehner says although certain individuals ascertain that preserving family past has lots of benefits people should also focus on present and future generations Danish it's not bad it's a little bit vague vague means it's not very detailed or specific and you don't really express a strong position there Danish your thesis should Express a stronger position so here I have my hook again I'm starting my introduction it is common for most people around the globe to invest a significant amount of time to learn about their family now comes the background why are we talking about this so millions of people spend hundreds of dollars for genetic tests to learn about their ancestry while the world faces many challenges for the survival of the human species therefore evaluating the effective use of time dedicated to family is important ok and then comes the thesis so I'm going to stick that in there here we go just copy it over it's one of the advantages of having it on computer if you're doing it on paper you can just start later ok so here is my introduction now this is a band 9 introduction of course it's a bit long because it's a band 9 but it's definitely effective so here is the full introduction it is common for most people around the globe to invest a significant amount of time to learn about their family millions of people spend hundreds of dollars for genetic tests to learn about their ancestry while the world faces many challenges for the survival of the human species therefore evaluating the effective use of time dedicated to family is important I'm going to say family studies certain benefits of investing time into learning one's lineage are setting foundations to motivate achievement and discovering knowledge to negate illness on the contrary taking time to care for current and future generation elites Foster's capable adults to tackle the problems of society I tend to support this latter belief okay alright so Danish if something's not clear just send me an email if we're moving a little bit faster than usual it's because I want to push some of our members who are a little bit more advanced to get ideas in English out on paper and I'm also hoping that this higher paced lesson is helping you to think a little bit more in English it's forcing you to think in English rather than translate from your own languages gahafer Dobbs says for his hook many individuals always remember about their past and try to improve future outcomes for Dobbs you can simplify that many individuals remember their past and work to improve future outcomes okay one more time for those many individuals remember their past and work to improve future outcomes that's a good hook that works roshni says knowledge is power to cultural evolution for individuals okay roshni close I would go with knowledge is the power to fuel cultural evolution something like that roshni kisi says lineage is part of human history yes kisi I would add one more word I would say lineage is an integral part of human history integral means that it's woven into its to grow okay the word is like this DC is an integral part so lineage is an integral part of human history so that would be a good hook as well kisi okay that's a good hook alright so now we go into body paragraph 1 and body paragraph 1 has a topic sentence an explanation example and a connecting sentence the topic sentence should take your first point of the thesis okay and expand it give it more detail so certain benefits of investing time into learning one lineage are setting foundations to motivate achievement and discovering knowledge to negate illness okay sure so let's write about that so when a person knows more about their roots they can feel proud in their efforts to achieve greater goals than their forefathers in addition knowledge of one's ethnicity may shed light on potential health concerns okay so that could be the topic sentence for body paragraph one all right Margie says time consuming time so reverse those MRG consuming time for generation studies is not only beneficial but also workable for everyone okay not a bad idea Margene I'm not a hundred percent sure where you're going with that so I don't know what you mean by workable but it's a good start okay you can build from that for Doug says a lot of people worldwide opt to spend much money to learn about their past while there are many problems and challenges to improve current and future situations for dogs very good okay like how some of you are now not waiting so much to have a perfect sentence in common but you're just getting it out okay that's my plan for the day so it's working I'm pushing you to type and comment faster good okay explanation if a person discovers that there are several renowned intellectuals up and down their family tree like lawyers and doctors they too may feel empowered for postgraduate studies to maintain tradition okay that's my explanation one for being motivated to achieve and be as good as our forefathers or maybe even better okay maybe my forefather was a farmer and so I decide hey I'm going to be not only a farmer but a farm owner and own several farms and then I'll become a businessman and I'll become one of the great agricultural Giants of the future right so there are many ways to approach this explanation and then of course comes the second half of the explanation which is the medical part further to this individual can also come to learn that there is a high incidence of heart disease in the family so they can avoid serious issues like heart attacks by going for regular checks and eating a healthy diet okay alright so there is my body paragraph so far when a person knows more about their routes they can feel proud in their effort to achieve greater goals than their forefathers in addition knowledge of one's ethnicity may shed light on potential health concerns if a person discovers that there are several renowned intellectuals up and down their family tree like lawyers and doctors they too may feel empowered for postgraduate studies to maintain tradition further to this an individual can also come to learn that there's a high incident of heart disease in the family so they can avoid serious issues like heart attacks by going for regular health checks or regular checkups and eating a healthy diet okay these are both true in my case as my father and grandfather were both doctors and this encouraged me to earn a doctorate degree in psychology okay also there is a high incidence of high occurrence of heart disease in my family so I go for regular annual visits to the doctor's office damn alright so I'm moving along here obviously at a high pace I'm writing for a band 9si I'm pushing you members today's class I know I am that's my goal here so don't shy away from it your solemn says studying my origins and roots can enhance my health and prevent health issues from different genetic disorders your solemn take out the word your talk about yourself or talk about people in general if its first or third person writing kisi says it is proud of a person who knows their family history other way kisi a person who knows their family history has pride or is proud family trees not only help members to form strong bonds but they also pass traditions and motivate achievement good Kesey that's a good topic sentence for your body paragraph it's very clear okay for daug says knowing about the gives a lot of privileges not only to plan for the future but also to protect themselves from illness which are associated with their genetics for dogs very nice okay some good writing members Margie says I want to write about businessmen in body paragraph 1 so what should I write well I'm RG then what you can do in the explanation is replace doctors and lawyers with businessmen so if a person so a Margie this is for you if a person discovers that there are several successful entrepreneurs or businessmen in their family tree they too may feel motivated to be successful merchants or successful entrepreneurs successful businessmen those are all synonyms ok and then you can say for instance my grandfather built a lucrative company with over 30 stores and this has encouraged me to not only further build his business but establish similar stores internationally ok something like that amar G that's a very clever way to approach it so again this is visualization and there are more than or there is more than one way to skin the cat I'm just giving you one example here ok all right I have one more sentence left it is going to be my connecting concluding sentence certainly these are clear benefits to learning about one's history but they are worthless without being able to preserve and build the future okay alright so that is my complete body paragraph one okay a little bit long of course I'm probably already at like 200 words but again this is a ban nine students if you're writing a band seven 7.5 you can have about 30% less information in text the idea is still just to have the same structure okay members I know that was challenging that was my goal and I think that you did a great job so far and tomorrow we will finish this essay so keep going at for homework put body paragraph 1 in the introduction together complete it okay tomorrow we'll do body - we'll do the conclusion and remember students it's important to focus on a strategy for planning infrastructure and fluency it's also very important that you do push yourself every now and again for task 1 and task 2 so that you're not only thinking smart but you're also thinking quickly and hopefully thinking in English as much as possible that's my final message for this members chat class check us out at AE help calm for academic IELTS and G IELTS help calm for the general in 30 minutes I will continue with a little bit slower paced but also very important listening IELTS class for sections 1 & 2 hopefully I will see most of you in that class bye for now

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Id: AQV0Mp_lti8

Length: 56min 19sec (3379 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 05 2019