IELTS Live - Task 1 Writing - Band 9 Recent Exam

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful central europe where most people are getting ready for their christmas celebrations i hope everybody is having a great week so far staying healthy and staying productive welcome honey hi daniel welcome members this is a member's chat class everybody's welcome to watch of course and this will be followed by a task 2 writing all chat class coming up in about 90 minutes this class is a task 1 writing class let me make a correction here it's a task one writing class we are going to be looking at uh a band nine bar graph example together hi rashika for dobbs pavon abhishek nikhil good to see many more students joining in of course this lesson as usual is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success check us out there and for the general ielts visit us at g i e l t s help dot com that's general alex help dot com on both of our websites we have loads and loads of materials to help you prepare and pass your ielts exam we help thousands of people daily to improve their english and their communication this task one is for the academic outs for the general ielts task one writing is a different challenge for that please go to our gltshelp.com website to check out videos there we also have a different youtube channel for that as well where we don't do live streaming on that one yet but we will in the future i'll quickly show you these sites so this is the academic version here for academic students with the blue background click that big red button to join the premium package and then for the general ielts it is the green background and you can click that big red button to join there we are british council ielts registration center for saudi arabia you can book your ielts exam through us if you're in saudi arabia and we are also certified british council agents so um you can definitely ask us questions about the ielts about english just send your questions to me adrian at aehelp.com all right um really quickly before we get into our task one question a little bit about the schedule uh so again we have this task one task two writing for you today and then for the 24th to the 27th we are taking a break we're celebrating christmas here so no classes on those days and then i'm back on the 28th with a speaking part one for everyone on the 28th so there will be one class on the 28th and then a couple of classes on the 29th and 30th before the new year's of course so uh new year's 31st first no classes and then january 2nd we're back in the game with more ielts so uh to see that schedule it's always on our youtube community posts you can check it out there you'll see it in the recent live lessons as well that you're seeing on the channel all right everyone without further ado let's get into today's uh task uh this was sent to us by ferdovs and there is for doves in the class hi for dobbs i believe this is your question fordov says that this was the question uh which uh he saw on uh an exam a couple of weeks ago for doves do you remember exactly which exam it was what was the exact date of the exam and this was the task one question uh from this exam and ferdav sent it to me a few days ago and said hey adrian can you go over this question with us in the members chat class i'd like to see how a band 9 response would look for this question so i thought to myself great thanks for dobbs let's do it and here we are okay so first steps first you get to your writing section you open up the pamphlet if you're doing the paper-based exam with the computer-based exam is just always clicks of a button and then you read the question carefully so here we go again for dave's uh in case somebody's not watching the chat says this was the question for the academic ielts exam held on november 23rd so exactly a month ago right today december 23rd november 23rd so month from today month from today in the past okay all right um so here we go you should spend about 20 minutes on this task definitely spend 20 minutes don't spend more than 20 minutes on this task the chart below shows the age when hearing loss begins for males and females in the usa describe the main features and make comparisons where relevant write at least 150 words so at least that means minimum 150 words okay most band 7 to 9 essays will be closer to 200 words okay for any students who are trying toefl any academic students you'll notice that toefl actually asks you for more words for task one and task two within the same time limit that's just kind of an interesting side note so here we have our question and then let's take a look at the chart here we go so start of hearing loss hopefully everybody can see that nice and clearly on the board okay um i have a good focus on my end so if it's not sharp for you then maybe change the resolution to 720 in your youtube settings okay for me i can definitely see it clearly can everybody see that clearly members give me a thumbs up or uh one of these an a-okay nikhil says yeah it's clear cool right on nikhil sounds good are you uh using 720p hopefully maybe all right good thumbs up from john neil abhishek says perfect yeah okay good all right so um let's take a closer look at this just quickly brush over it so we've got the title here start of hearing loss and then we have some age groups here at the bottom okay we have some color coding green is female blue is male and then we have percentages on the y-axis x-axis y-axis we have the percentages notice that the percentage goes to 40 okay so 40 percent great okay good all right let's get into this so what's the first step uh we want to start by writing our introduction and our introduction is our overview you don't need to write a separate introduction and overview i know a lot of students are doing that and it's okay but for me honestly and i think for a lot of other um [Music] expert writers as well it's kind of awkward to see the to see the uh paraphrase separated from the overview you'll see what i mean here in a second okay so i'm just gonna copy this below okay all right so our first step is the introduction introductory paragraph okay introduction as an adjective is introductory paragraph or we can also call this the overview i mean if you think about it the word overview is really kind of um synonymous in many ways to introduction right when i introduce an idea i give an overview on the idea okay so uh what do i need to do for that all right i know we have a little bit of change in students now and some students are maybe a little bit new to this so what do i need to do what is my first step okay i read the question i looked at the graph no deep analysis yet so just kind of you know looking at the global content or information and now i'm getting ready to write my overview what do i need to do what do i include in my overview hopefully i'm going to get the same as what i'm writing up here so okay yeah so nick hill abhishek you have part of it right paraphrasing the question um and adding more details from the graph okay so let me show you what i mean by that okay so here it says the chart below okay so instead of saying the chart below i'm going to say the bar chart okay uh please don't write below okay it's weird to refer to the actual physical location of a diagram on a piece of paper all right that's just for the question so uh everybody catch that it's a it's an awkward um and it's unprofessional it's it's a it's poor writing to say the chart below shows okay for the question it's okay because it's asking it from you the student but for the answer you don't write the the chart below okay you just write the bar chart it's weird to refer to a location of a drawing on paper it's unnecessary especially since the examiner is probably not looking at it they know exactly what it is okay so the part bar chart shows instead of shows i can write depicts or illustrates okay there are many many ways to paraphrase the word shows okay and then the age when hearing loss begins for males so certain words like the chart shows so shows illustrates i can take this word and i can just think of a synonym sometimes it's a little bit easier to read a phrase like the age when hearing loss begins for males and then paraphrase this whole phrase in one okay so illustrates the time in okay so i'm doing this by looking at the phrase the age when hearing loss begins for males and females in the usa the time in men's and women's lives so males females men and women pay attention to the plural it's not man it's not with an a and it's not with a woman because that would be singular that would be a mistake okay so the time in men's and women's lives when hearing um anybody know another way to say hearing loss i'll give you a hint the first two letters are m anybody knows what it is okay i see some paraphrasing coming up which is great i'll look at that roshini pavan for dos here i'm training you for your paraphrasing as well okay so i am what's the rest of this word im so hearing m [Music] what is it very good abhishek nicely done hearing impairment yeah that's the right word abhishek abhishek you get my thumbs up very nicely done okay roshni not far behind good impairment okay and then instead of begins starts okay in america all right instead of usa some countries you can even paraphrase um with other words like usa is america and uk is britain right so certain countries you have paraphrasing for so that will earn you points okay paraphrase as much as possible so the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives when hearing impairments starts in america now don't forget i want to add more details using the graph so i don't want to just repeat the question band 9 band 8 band 9 essays don't just simply paraphrase and repeat with different words so far i only have a band 6.5 maybe seven it's good grammar good vocabulary but there's not a lot of content and there's not a lot of task completion yet okay let me see what the members have so far for the paraphrase with the details and then i'll add a bit of my own okay here we go so uh for dob says the meanwhile i'll show you the bar chart so you can think about it okay uh so ferdav says the bar chart gives the information about the difference between men and women when they start to suffer from hearing loss okay for us that's a good start add more information using the information in the bar chart roshni says the figure provided illustrates the percentage of men and women uh in six different age brackets you don't need the who are just in six different age brackets when hearing loss starts in the united states okay roshani good so you're starting to add uh some detail okay all right um i wouldn't mention the y-axis here just because it's zero to forty percent so it's not of the hundred percent um so that's kind of interesting and i think that's that's noteworthy okay we don't necessarily have to go into all of these details because we can do that in the analysis but definitely naming the number of age groups and the range on the y-axis is a good idea all right pavan says the given bar chart depicts the data on the beginning of hearing loss for males and females in the usa under the age of five to 70 and over yeah pavon that's okay but i think it's more valuable to actually just say how many age groups we have um and then and then go from there rather than saying from zero to over 70 because that's just basically a human lifespan right zero to over 70 it's a human life so it's showing the whole range fine but i think um just saying that six different age groups it's a little bit more valuable statistically speaking okay students hearing aid is not hearing loss remember aid means help if you have a hearing aid it means you have a little device in your ear that helps you to hear okay so uh keep that in mind okay i can see that a couple students have a bit of confusion with this so let me give you a little bit of information okay so a hearing aid is a device that helps people to hear okay the small auditory device placed in the ear canal okay that hole in your ear is called your ear canal we're not going to get into ear anatomy but that's called your ear canal and the hearing aid is the little device that's put in there to help people hear okay all right you can also get implants these days but um anyway so keep that in mind okay good so it looks like a lot of you are on the right track so i'm going to add those details to my uh introduction as well so the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives when hearing impairment starts in america okay separated into six different age groups okay when hearing impairment starts in america okay [Music] and then here as i mentioned i want to add this piece also the zero to forty percent of the population okay so let's put that in there as well okay so the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives uh separated into six different age groups when hearing impairment starts in 0 to 40 percent of the american [Music] population okay let me just make sure that's accurate so the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives separated into six different age groups when hearing impairment starts ranging from zero would be more accurate ranging from 0 to 40 percent of the american population as indicated by the y-axis okay now i have a lot of clarity all right okay yeah for dogs so i see your correction there that's great so you added that detail divided into six groups dividing six groups in america uh dividing it into six groups in america tricky prepositions for dobbs sonny says the given bar chart shows information about people in america who suffer from impairment from hearing impairment in six different age groups of males and females sunny good sunny you have one you have a few mistakes there however the biggest mistake that you have there sonny is that you don't name what they're suffering from okay suffering from hearing impairment be really careful students with um information information mistakes like that because that will hurt your score okay especially on the academic aisles okay so from hearing impairment okay band 8 band 9 is in the details all right so far so good now let's take a look at the main feature so um we have a couple of main features here and definitely there's a dominant main feature what's the what's the main feature okay so what is the most noticeable main feature what do you think makes more sense and again you want to always think past just the most and the least i would definitely not go with the most than the least here okay because i don't think that's what's most interesting i think there's another piece of information so what's the most obvious piece of information and when you look at this bar chart what do you notice first what kind of jumps out at yeah very good for dogs so for dobbs right away says well what jumps out at me what's like what pop say my face is are these two groups here right the 20 to 39 and the 40 to 59 are dominant they're absolutely the largest percentage uh for this impairment okay very obvious yeah we'll talk about that sure yeah we'll talk about these in the analysis sure but certainly this is the most prominent piece of information okay so the 20 to 39 year old group and the 50 40 to 59 year old group are clearly the uh prominent age where hearing loss begins in the u.s population right okay all right so put together that main feature okay write the sentence for that main feature you don't have to go into details you don't have to give exact percentages and numbers yet just explain to the reader that that's what's most obvious at an immediate glance or analysis of this graph okay i'm going to do the same and then we'll compare okay so it goes 20 to 39 and 42.59 maybe we all go party a little too hard during those years 42.59 okay so that would be my main feature okay says it is apparent that the that the majority pavan majority usually carries the article the because it's unique it's the majority okay same with minority the opposite so the minority the majority right so it is apparent that the majority of adults aged 20 to 60 uh suffer from hearing loss yeah i mean you rolled so okay be accurate pavon it's 20 to 59 all right um and also when you have two groups there make the separation so yeah you're right it is connected so it's it's one kind of range but i there's a slight difference so i don't want to make it confusing for the analysis to just say 20 to 59 instead i want to say two groups 20 to 39 40 to 59. i see where you're going with it pavan and it's not a big mistake but i would still do two groups okay nick hill says overall it is evident that at the age of 20 to 39 not at the age group but at the ages of 20 to 39 and 40 to 59 are the majority of percentage of hearing impairment starts okay that works nikhil yeah it's a little bit of interesting grammar but you can use the grammar in that way sure ferdav says overall it is obvious that the two groups 20 to 39 and 40 to 59 aged tend to experience uh start of hearing loss more than others okay careful for dogs with missing information also for dogs you don't have to write aged both times just 20 to 39 and 40 to 59 aged because the numbers will be effective as adjectives for aged in both in both instances okay so all right okay um so here is my overview introduction all in one piece okay the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives separated into six different age groups when hearing impairment starts ranging from 0 to 40 percent of the american population as indicated by the y axis okay i'm gonna put a comment here to make that read a little bit better and another one here comma use and learning comma use is very very important okay all right um immediately it is very evident i don't like to use words like very in academic essays when it's not necessary so i'm just going to keep it like this immediately it is evident that hearing impairment starts for the majority of u.s citizens in either the 20 to 39 or 40 to 59 age groups okay so i'm making that correction there because i'm using either or making clear the two age groups on the diagram so either or is very useful in this kind of analysis all right okay vikka says overall age group 20 to 39 and 40 to 59 has more hearing impairment than any other group okay careful because it's not has more hearing impairment starts to experience so here one of the big tricks students where it's easy to make mistakes is this concept of start okay and so before we get into the analysis let's really pay attention to this so um a person can start here and they'll have hearing impairment at 70 okay hopefully they're you know they live a nice long happy life so it's not that 40 to 59 year olds have more hearing impairment than 70 year olds that's not what this graph is about this graph is about when it starts to happen everybody's clear on that difference right can i get some okays and some thumbs up on that so this isn't this isn't discussing how many people are experiencing hearing loss this is discussing when they start to when they say hey i don't quite hear sounds like i used to okay you have to be really careful because if you write like oh well people who are over 70 don't have as much hearing loss as people 40 to 59 that's going to be very inaccurate and you're going to get a very low band score even with good writing okay i can see vidcos doing this and some yeses in there okay so be really careful this is a very very important word you have to think of like beginning initially so lots of paraphrasing for this word in this essay okay very very clear uh differentiation start of hearing loss all right okay so um we're on the graph which is good because our next step is our points of analysis all right okay um so we gave the main feature the main feature were these two age groups so this is where analysis has to start now it makes most sense to start with this group the 40 to 59 aged where men are slightly more than women and it is the most slightly compared to this group right then our second one is here now we want to make a comparison between these okay and we can see that between 20 to 39 it's just slightly less men okay a little bit earlier who start to experience hearing loss however with women there's a little bit of uh it's also quite a few women but a little bit less of a difference so this is going to be one and two these comparisons okay and here we can start to do some percentiles what is this percentile here so what can what can i say instead of saying 35 percent of women and 3 7 of men so instead of saying that what's another kind of word or wording i can use to be a little bit more interpretive so how can i interpret this percentage a little bit more and also this or these percentages okay so i want you to really think about this so how can i what is what is men here instead of saying 35 specifically yeah it's just over a third right so okay so both for men and women it's just over a third right men here it's roughly a third okay so here women men just over a third men slightly more and then here women are at about a 27 so how can i state this one here for women okay what can i state there so this is roughly a third this these are just over a third and how about this one here at about twenty seven percent okay for dogs be a little bit more accurate if this is just over a third then this would be just over a quarter okay you're going to pick up more marks for lexical resource accurate english for that okay so just over a quarter all right okay good so um now we can mark our other data points as well all right so this would be my third data point 3a3b we'll talk about that later this would be my fourth data point and this would be my fifth data point okay we'll talk about those in a minute but first let's write our a couple of sentences to begin the analysis with this and this okay i'll give you a little bit of a head start here so go ahead members uh write me some sentences about this 40 to 59 age group and about the 20 to 39 age group describing these trends make these comparisons and please use this vocabulary just over a third roughly a third compare between men and women in these age groups okay so please start writing that analysis i'm going to do the same here in a minute once you've got it locked in and then we'll compare all right so i'll leave that up there for a moment my writing so you can see that and then i'll begin okay so this is the analysis this is the body or the analyses for plural okay it's the body paragraph of your task one okay and i'll begin writing you begin writing and then we'll compare you all right so i'm going to uh remove those data points now so you can see my writing a little bit clearer as well and then i will explain what i wrote here now again remember everybody watching that i'm showing you a band 9 level writing analysis with grammar lexical resource just so you have a point of comparison it doesn't have to be this fantastic it doesn't have to look like this just the concept it's important that you have the same idea if you have a couple of grammatical mistakes if you need to use a couple more sentences to explain it or simpler sentences that is totally fine okay what's most important is that the content remains the same okay so here again i'm describing uh these two age groups here starting with this one then with this one comparing both men and women between the genders and among the groups as well okay so here's mine and then i'll read yours let's take a look so the bar chart uh sorry here we go a little bit lower here's the analysis so at closer observation americans aged 40 to 59 experience hearing loss for the first time in the greatest proportion right because it's the first time is like saying start or beginning in the greatest proportion with both men and women slightly over a third of the population that's what we're talking about right just over a third or slightly over a third men being a fraction greater okay notice this use of expression here men being a fraction greater than women so men being a fraction greater than women is referring to this small difference here okay and now i compare that to the second group so in relative proximity to these proportions notice this phrase here in relative proximity relative proximity means quite close okay so that would be the simpler way of saying it quite close to these numbers or quite close to these [Music] figures okay would be a different way to say it in relative proximity to these proportions that means that in the graph relatively speaking these are fairly close okay everybody sees that so um here we go in relative proximity to these proportions the second group to experience hearing problems in significant numbers are 20 to 39 year olds with men and at roughly a third of the population and women at just over a quarter all right that's your interpretation okay that's how you interpret the graph so band-aid band 9 they're looking for being able to interpret these graphs now remember everyone that ielts is not an esl exam it's an english proficiency exam and a band 9 student is basically somebody who could teach graphs and charts at the college or university level not study but teach okay university entrance requires usually a band seven sometimes teachers take the alts exam and they have to get a band 8.5 or higher okay for teaching positions okay at universities so that's why i'm showing you this level now okay all right um fordov says analyzing deeper it is an inch it is interesting that men 20 to 59 age suffer from hearing loss more than women and the figures are about one-third of the total population where women begin to experience hearing loss less than men yep for dogs you're getting quite tricky with it it's a little bit it's slightly inaccurate to the graph but i get where you're going with it so it's still okay roshi says when looking at the bar chart in more detail it is obvious that males initially suffer from hearing loss incredibly at the age group of 40 to 59 over a third likewise females suffer at 35 percent okay it's good so it's okay to mention some numbers like 35 percent okay but again the more interpretation and the more accurate the better it will be okay all right so now let's discuss these figures here so the 60 to 69 and 70 and over all right so here what's interesting is that in these age groups men have slightly less um start of hearing problems it's probably because there's already so many men with hearing problems by the age of 70. and then women still increase going over the age of 70. so notice that there's a kind of an inverse of men and women okay so this is where you can use the comparison the word inversely okay so let's compare these um these are less than a fifth okay and here i might use some percentages 15 under 15 percent okay and these two age groups are somewhat similar to okay so when you're working on these uh graphs and charts you're looking not just for differences but you're also looking for similarities so let's discuss these two here okay all right so i'm going to write that and then you write that as well okay you you okay so uh this is my uh [Music] analysis of these two age groups okay so here we go the two other age groups let me just erase this here so the two other age groups or the two other groups which show similar figures are the 60 to 69 and over 70. interestingly the percent of men who start to experience hearing loss slightly decrease at over age 70 as where women are the inverse and there are slightly more at 19 and 21 respectively and notice that here i didn't even give percentages for the men again i'm already roughly at about 170 80 words so i don't want to dedicate more than 200 words and 20 minutes here okay uh roshni i wouldn't separate this into two paragraphs because you're really just looking at one bar graph so i would keep this as one piece okay all right now i'm going to finish this off with these last two age groups and again i'm paying attention that i might be running out of time so i don't want to go into too much details here i want to leave lots of time for my task two okay so i'm gonna finish up these last two age groups which are the lower amounts okay especially this under the age five all right um so i'm gonna do that and then let's get to the summary as well i'd like to get to that with you today so you can see how that works okay okay so your goal remember for these task one exercises in the academic is to report the main features and you're always going from the most to the least significant so if i'm um a hearing specialist in the united states what would interest me most are these age groups here because they make up by far the greatest proportion of the population and then these would be interesting as well of course especially to pediatric doctors but this for the sake of this essay and having this 150 to 200 word limit and 20 minute limit is less interesting so i just grouped this into a shorter kind of sentence and wrote the younger boys and girls now notice i'm thinking critically throughout my essay so instead of writing men and women here i'm writing boys and girls because they're not yet grown up and of course in english when you're under the age of let's say 18 19 even 19 20 year olds we will sometimes call boys and girls because they're not quite into adulthood yet so but especially these groups so the younger boys and girls in the us experience the start of hearing loss to a lesser degree especially those under the age of five at below five percent for both genders so i'm trying to use a few words here being concise all right what can i summarize from this information so no guessing just summarize it hint hint there's a shape here okay so look at that shape use that concept and summarize the information i can definitely create an interesting summary after looking at this information in detail and i see that the cost for dobbs abhishek for dobbs you're writing some great sentences i can't get deeply into them because we'll run out of time and i want to get to the summary okay keep practicing and keep comparing to my writing as well so what can we summarize about that shape okay yeah very good abhishek i can see that what you wrote but google is hiding it for some reason there it is okay all right yep um now how is the shape so in summary the yeah when you use it as an adjective okay parabolic but abhishek you're definitely on the right track here okay so in summary the parabolic pattern of these bars indicates that the start of hearing loss is experienced less at earlier ages more during middle during adulthood and again less at older ages okay so that's what we can summarize by it right okay yeah missing in there you go okay so in summary the parabolic pattern of these bars indicates that the start of hearing loss is experienced less at earlier ages more during adulthood and again less at older ages okay that would be your band 9 summary of what you can really take away from this graph okay yeah so for doves more than just the shape right what does that mean for us okay so here is your ben nine response to this question that was on the academic ielts exam november 23rd of this year about a month ago so this was the graph it looks simple enough a lot of content and information here and here we go let's read through it okay so this is what the response sounds like the bar chart illustrates the time in men's and women's lives separated into six different age groups when hearing impairment starts ranging from zero to forty percent of the american population as indicated by the y-axis immediately it is evident that hearing impairment starts for the majority of u.s citizens in either the 20 to 39 or 40 to 59 aged groups at closer observation americans aged 40 to 59 experience hearing loss for the first time in the greatest proportions with both men and women slightly over a third of the population men being a fraction greater than women in relative proximity to these proportions the second group to experience hearing problems in significant numbers are 20 to 39 year olds with men at roughly a third of the population and women at just over a quarter the two other groups which show similar figures are the 60 to 69 and over 70. interestingly the percentage of men who start to experience hearing loss slightly decrease at over age 70 as where women are the inverse and there are slightly more at 19 and 21 percent respectively the younger boys and girls in the us experience the start of hearing loss to a lesser degree especially those under the age of 5 at below five percent for both genders in summary the parabolic pattern of these bars indicates that the start of hearing loss is experienced less at earlier ages more during adulthood and again less at older ages okay that is your band 9 response with analysis and interpretation using the right grammar and expressing the response clearly in this expository essay a very good job uh members thank you for dobbs for the question that was great okay it was a really good question to go over especially since this was the actual exam question that students had experienced a month ago so now you know what it takes to really get that expert user of the english language for both the language and the communication of the information okay all right students you can learn lots more about how to write for bars and graphs you can send us your writing for marking we have editing services of course those are paid services um ae help dot com for academic outs gltshelp.com for general outs make sure to download and link our apps academic ielts help links to ahelp.com general health's help links to gltshelp.com and i will be back in about 30 minutes to finish that task 2 essay that we started yesterday so hang around come back in half an hour that will be the last class before we take a few days break for the holiday season you're very very welcome nick hill roshni ferdovs you're welcome and again thank you for doves abhishek some really nice use of vocabulary today good job janil rashika fantastic great to see you all and our newer member that was also commenting i loved seeing those comments keep going with those uh thank you for uh being in the class sunny and hopefully i'll see in the next class as well sunny okay i will be back shortly i'm adrian signing out from budapest for the next half hour see you soon you

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

Id: _lvhCvU3HA8

Length: 56min 30sec (3390 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020