IELTS Live - Task 1 Writing - Band 9 on Line Graphs

live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful central europe i hope everybody has had a fantastic week so far and looking forward to a great remainder of this week and then the weekend uh hi mayuresh welcome to our group of members make sure to send me an email so i can hook you up with your perks for those videos and the exams mayuresh my email is adrian aehelp.com this class is a members chat class everybody is welcome to watch and we are covering ielts task one writing we're looking at a band nine example uh essay together uh working on a line graph so that's our goal for today's lesson um and then this lesson will be followed by a reading lesson so two lessons today hi muksud hi ferdovs welcome members as usual uh this uh lesson is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success please check us out here uh click that big red button to join the premium package get access to all of our hd videos our practice exams as well as a fully interactive course and mobile app for the general ielts it's this website here with the green background you can click that big red button to join us there and it's g ielts help dot com that's general ielts help dot com you can visit us there to get all of our help and of course we have apps as i just mentioned academic ielts help the app links to ahelp.com and general alts help app links to gileshelp.com hi byron hi nick hill hi janil again email this is where you can reach me and very important uh announcement so we have classes today we'll have classes tomorrow and then i'm off on holiday from the 21st until the 30th i've got some things to take care of then no worries we will have new hd videos being released during this time so there will still be lots and lots of materials for you to learn of course new blogs on our websites as well by the way how many of the members checked out the new video that we released yesterday the hd video which was um a new kind of speaking video where you can actually first person practice your responses janil you checked it out that's great um give me some feedback so for anybody who uh has a chance and watches that video uh please comment and let us know what you think we're planning to do more uh videos like that so that people can get actual practice in their speaking for these kinds of videos by using the kind of right amount of time between questions to give complete answers okay so muksud ferdovs you watched it as well fantastic yeah okay i'm glad that you liked it it seems to be fairly popular so we'll be doing more of them in the future is the plan all right so we'll have more videos uh like that and other ones coming out during the time that i'm away in november all right so let's get into today's writing task one okay um and uh i'm just gonna make sure that we have a good internet connection here um okay that should be better i think all right um i think the computer was running on wi-fi now i've got a lan going there so uh hopefully there'll be a better connection okay cool so uh yeah let's get into this ielts task one writing here today's line graph uh first of all always read the question really carefully hi rashika uh and uh don't rush okay i know that a lot of uh candidates are getting a bit tired by the time they get to the writing section because you finished 50 minutes of listening one hour of reading but you have to kind of slow yourself and refocus okay so the first couple hours of your ielts exam is really testing your comprehension it's the writing section and then of course the speaking section that's testing your language production and your communication skills okay so there's kind of a switch in the mind there okay and it's physically a different uh part of the brain if anybody's into psychology by the way just kind of um you know to make you think about this i always like to throw a couple of new concepts out there uh for you and this is testing my early university knowledge as well the part of the brain that's used for understanding speech so the area of the brain used for speech comprehension is called the broca's area i do believe i have the right spelling there but it um broca's maybe with just a c um broca's area and the part that's used for speech production is called anybody know by the way with the uh part of the brain that produces or creates speech it's the one that i'm using a lot right now to give this presentation it's called the uh vernicke's verna keys i don't remember the spelling of these but wernicke's area okay so the reason i'm um the reason i'm giving you this information is because it's important to keep in mind [Music] that different parts of the brain are used for comprehension versus production okay but they do work together okay um so i'm bringing that to your attention because when you're sitting in an exam and you're kind of using uh one part of your brain it's actually in this part of your head that's why i'm putting my hand here so um for most people anyway so when you're using one part of your brain for two hours to comprehend information by listening and reading and then suddenly you have to switch to producing uh whether it's written or spoken language to another part of the brain then that's a challenge for the brain as well so you have to kind of be paying special attention when you switch from one to the other okay and of course one way to do that is just to kind of slow yourself down take a couple of deep breaths and then really pay attention to the question and spend a couple minutes on your planning right that's why the planning is so important because the planning helps your brain to switch from comprehension to production everybody pick up that important note on the importance of planning allowing your brain to shift from comprehension to production if you try to start writing if you try to start writing right away it's putting a lot of pressure on your brain to switch its processing centers quickly and it's not going to be as effective okay so planning allows for a shift from comprehension to production okay in the brain all right um muksud says yep got it good okay so ielts task one writing you should take about 20 minutes on this task the following line graph compares the sales of four restaurants in a given year report the main features and make comparisons relevant okay write at least 150 words that means minimum 150 words janil picked up on that too that's fantastic okay um so let's take a look at this chart okay so here we go um income of four restaurants so uh right away i should realize that another way to say income is revenue okay or earnings would be another one so keywords my brain is immediately thinking of some other ways to express that okay and then we have here our lines we have four restaurants and then here we have the names of the restaurants i'll zoom in on those names a little bit so you can kind of see them we'll use those so there is the delicacy restaurant evening paradise uh grand fiesta and spicy uh fortune so those are the four spicy fortune is uh the top purple line here delicacy is the bottom one here yell green is the grand fiesta and evening paradise is the red one here okay so delicacy is this bottom one here all right um okay good so uh let's do this lots of information here obviously we won't write about everything first steps first we want to start by paraphrasing the question and adding some details okay so let's do that so uh here's the question again the following line graph compares the sales of four restaurants in a given year okay all right so let me show you the graph one more time here and then go ahead paraphrase that question and use the information in this graph to give more details okay so notice that we're not given the year it's just some year uh from january all the way to december okay all right so paraphrase the question and then give it detail details are really important for this kind of a question the details that you're paying attention to are the y-axis income in thousands of dollars okay so twenty thousand forty thousand okay uh one hundred uh twenty thousand two hundred uh thousand okay you want to pay attention to the names of the four restaurants right and then you want to maybe pay attention to uh the x-axis as well okay all right i'm going to write that paraphrase and then we'll see if everybody's kind of on the same track okay so again this is the overview overview and the introduction are one in the same okay they don't need to be separate so overview equals paraphrase of the question with details using the graph plus the most observable feature or features and so here the given line graph illustrates the revenue of four restaurants delicacy evening paradise grand fiesta and spicy fortune in a specific year from january to december with sales ranging from zero to 200 000 dollars as indicated by the axes okay so that's my paraphrase uh my rash nice uh there is your first sentence fantastic good to see it mairesh okay mairesh says the provided graph talks about the revenue of four restaurants over the period of one year myresh always name the type of graph so if it's a line graph usually the ielts will just say graph in the question but if you know that it's a line graph then say line graph so myresh a couple of corrections here we go the provided line graph details the revenue of four restaurants over the period of one year okay don't use the word talks or says because when you're writing you're not talking okay so explains states are more accurate it's actually kind of strange when people say says or talks because a graph doesn't talk humans talk okay so careful using the word says in talks okay explains states elicits uh illustrates okay all right uh fordog says uh the given line chart illustrates revenues um for four different restaurants from january until december uh for doves don't use till use until uh till is colloquial okay we use it in everyday kind of uh street talk but till is a bit awkward in professional writing so use until okay it's just nuances small nuances but they matter janil says the given line graph depicts the revenue of four restaurants d e p g f and s f from zero to a hundred twenty thousand dollars in the specific year by each month from january to december uh daniel that's good okay uh now if you want to use an abbreviation a created abbreviation for each of the restaurant names like delicacy um evening paradise then first write them out like this gineal and then in brackets put a d uh put an ep which is it's a good idea ginial because we don't really want to write these words often if we don't have to especially since we know that we're going to be doing lots of comparisons so gf so everybody sees what jay neil is suggesting here daniel is basically suggesting let's just take the first letter of each of these restaurant names so that in the essay we don't have to rewrite these words over and over and that's a really good suggestion by gineal however the rule in writing is that you have to write out the word then bracket the abbreviation and now in the essay i can just use the uh abbreviation for the remainder okay yeah got it janil okay so you're aware of that i thought i thought that was the case i kneel that you're aware of that but you didn't want to uh take up a lot of space you wanted to get it all into one um one comment which is sensible so i get you okay um it's for everybody else as well so keep that in mind all right it's a very smart strategy and by the way it's professional writing so if you read uh journals um and masters or thesis papers written in university you see this quite often because of course there are lots of um very long words in chemistry and physics and and other kind of projects so it's a good idea to do that okay all right um smart okay all right uh nick hill says the given line graph illustrates the earnings of four restaurants delicacy evening paradise grand fiesta uh and uh spicy fortune in a year from january to december in million dollars um it's not million dollars here it's thousand dollars so it's three zeros one two three s dollars so it's thousands of dollars okay so it's twenty thousand forty thousand sixty thousand and and so on now uh that makes sense because uh this is just per month right so obviously restaurants can make millions of dollars in a year and some of these look like they do um i mean if you look at uh spicy fortune here spicy fortune made 160 000 uh just in the month of january okay so um that's why it's thousands of dollars all right okay cool so everybody's doing fantastic so far now the main feature okay uh before the analysis let's let's look at the main feature so uh what do we notice um with these lines here there's there's definitely a a feature that pops out at us so when you're looking for the main feature you're not really looking for numbers you're usually not just looking for most and least too many students right most at least try to be a little bit more [Music] vigilant try to be a little bit more analytic a little bit more critical than just most and least uh we can talk about that in the analysis later anyway um what do we what do we kind of um notice here i i definitely noticed something quite interesting okay so daniel says sf shows an upward trend others show a decreasing trend um it's evening paradise here the red one that shows that upward trend but i don't think i don't actually agree that it shows an upward trend because there's a strong downward trend here as well uh many of you are saying three of them experienced an upward trend one of them not so much this is one year here okay this is one year here i would say so my brain here kind of just the way i look at it okay um is that if i draw a line here okay and i draw a line here and i draw a line here and i draw a line here um i notice kind of something so this is this is grand fiesta okay this is um spicy fortune um this one is evening paradise and this one here is uh delicacy okay um and then here it goes okay so [Music] what do i notice what kind of uh what am i trying to show you here um thinking about this is more or less kind of a businessman okay and i'll show you the months here because a couple of months become pretty important here specifically uh november and december okay what do you think what is it that i'm seeing okay david says there's fluctuation in most of the year um kind of okay kind of so i agree david that there's a slight fluctuation okay there's a bit of fluctuation yeah there we go so ferdav says until october uh these restaurants for the most part show a fairly stable trend yeah um absolutely for dogs so these restaurants are more or less making a relatively the same amount of money within a within reason until the month of october and it's after october where it starts to get a little bit interesting right i mean look at this so in december you have um uh evening paradise making five four times as much as in january okay all right i prime alpha nice of you to join in all right okay so that's kind of what i'm noticing here so that's the the most observable right so this would be my main feature so at first glance it appears that all four restaurants have fairly stable sales aside from slight variations until the last three months of the year okay so notice this main feature here let me erase that so you can read it okay so this main feature when you're in the ielts exam and your examiner sees that okay you're thinking critically and you're able to express this idea so at first glance it appears that all four restaurants have fairly stable sales aside from slight variations until the last three months of the year when your examiner reads this or when the marker reads this and they just finished reading 20 essays that all started with spicy fortune made the most money in the year except for the last couple months and delicacy made the least amount of money except for the last month so they just read 20 different essays that all had that kind of a main feature and now they finally read one that reads as at first glance it appears that all four restaurants have fairly stable sales aside from slight variations until the last three months of the year then they're gonna be thinking okay wow here's a person who took an extra step who looked at this graph a little bit more critically and uh a little bit more affirmative language here um and you're going to be on track for a higher band score okay so unique essays that are more critically thought out will get higher band scores everybody follows me on that so everybody sees that clearly what i'm showing you there you can disagree with me it's okay all right okay um so ferdav says at first i shot it is clear that all four restaurants had experienced stable uh trends uh until october and then all four of them uh had drastically different sales patterns yeah for dobbs good okay a couple of corrections there uh janil nikhill x prime rashika good so you see that okay yeah because you can i mean at first eye shot you can kind of see these flat more or less flat lines so none of them are doing this okay through this graph they're more or less all just kind of relatively flat and until the end here here you have quite the commotion of lines right so if i separate this into sections i can see that here i have a lot going on versus here where i don't have a lot going on and even in here i don't have too too much going on with the exception of that cross over there okay so you can always do what i just did where you're looking at the lines in terms of sections okay all right and believe me we're gonna do most at least anyway okay and that makes sense because you have some really kind of interesting patterns going on here so um firstly we should start by uh analyzing this for our main body paragraph and looking at spicy fortune okay s f so spicy fortune so we're looking at this line here now remember everyone that you have 150 to two hundred words to write here okay you cannot try to write on every point okay or even uh every other point you cannot do that because there's just too much information if i wrote all of the main kind of like if i wrote about this and then i wrote about this and then i wrote about this and then i wrote this and this and this um that would be five six sentences just for spicy fortune and i can't do that because i don't have enough time and i don't have enough words okay so when you look at a line graph like this and you see that there are four lines so you have four what's called independent variables so you have these four independent variables these four lines you should be thinking like two sentences each okay why because um an average sentence descriptive sentence is going to be anywhere from 15 to 20 words so let's say that you have as much as 18 words of course you're using complex sentences descriptive sentences with conjunctions and you have let's say 18 words or even if it's less even if it's 16 or 15. um and you have eight of these right then you have um 144 my math is correct right so if you write two sentences for each one and your average sentence is 18 words then you're already at 144 not including your overview and your um uh summary okay does everybody see my math on how i'm figuring out how much i should write so everybody kind of on par with me it's really important to work within the limits of the ielts uh instructions okay so 150 to 200 words of good quality writing you cannot write three or four sentences about delicacy because you're going to run out of time right and space okay so how would i then so i'm going to start with spicy fortune here okay so my question here is what should i write about spicy fortune then okay so what should what what what would be the two points to write about spicy fortune how how can i do this effectively um and for the goal of getting a band nine this is a question so give me your answer what should i write about what do i need to explain about spicy fortune here as my first point what do you think what makes the most sense okay give me some ideas help me out i've got two sentences what information is important to explain in those two sentences okay and when you're practicing this at home you can do it as bullet points so first of all obviously i want to mention that it's the highest sales okay that's going to be an important point all right highest sales sure okay what else do i need to mention give me some bullet points let's do it that way so give me some bullet points highest sales okay john neil says first five months uh fluctuate so january february march april may that's the first five months uh some fluctuation maybe i think it's too much even that is too much detail danielle so for dobbs says hundred and sixty thousand um yeah um i don't think that number is actually that important for dobbs the 160 000 at the beginning okay it just has the highest sales and uh notice that it has the highest sales all the way until here so this here is one of our critical data points okay now what's our other critical data points this here and this here why why why is march and february a critical data point if i'm looking at spicy fortune what's the logic there why is that why are those critical data points so you can now see what i'm getting at i think uh ferdav says because the spike is huge no not necessarily for doves it's not so much the spike that's interesting for me there it's the range right it's this range that's interesting for me here okay that's what's interesting for me so it has the highest sales from january all the way until october so highest from january to october and the range is between 120 and uh close to 180 000 okay we can say 170 000. so the range is 120 to 170 000 okay in those months okay does everybody see what i'm doing here so do you see how i'm analyzing this highest band basically so rather than just looking at the line bouncing around i'm looking at the more general data that's important for me when i'm comparing all of these restaurants and their revenues okay think about it like you're an investor and you have some money and there are four restaurants that you can invest into right you're not going to care about every single little detail on their revenue sheets you're going to kind of be paying more attention to this these points okay all right so now my other critical data point of course is december which is here okay and at that point i'm down at 50 000. okay so that would be my next bullet point now these bullet points in the actual exam they're only happening in my head as i'm looking at this okay so october to december uh rapid drop so drop to 50k which here in that month is the lowest okay all right so now i have um my information that i need for this line okay and in here i need a however right because there's a very strong contrast there okay all right so that's the help that i'm going to give you for this first line in your analysis so go ahead members write two sentences that include all of this information highest sales january to october the range of sales is 120 to 170 000 there's a change in october use a a conjunction that's showing opposition you don't have to use however i recommend try using something else that you've learned october to december there's a drop 50 000 it's the lowest and also maybe you can even compare that 50 000 in december to its performance in the other months of the year okay put all those together for me into two sentences let's see how you use up those bullet points okay all right so put those together i'm going to do the same i'm just giving you a head start and then we'll compare i bet some of you are already producing some great sentences from this information okay that should be in your head you should see it now even though i erased it okay you should hold on to that information all right so the analysis oh let me just get you back on screen here so the analysis is the majority of course of your um of your essay here you don't need to write analysis for our viewers who are new i'm just doing that for notes okay so you okay yuriza welcome to our group of members happy to have you on board all right still waiting uh for uh those sentences everyone let's see what you come up with okay uh ferdaf says spicy fortune received the highest income from january until october where it experienced the highest level in march about a hundred and seventy thousand dollars however after october the sales suddenly dropped to fifty thousand yeah and for dobbs i did the same as you i used past tense so sf had but i changed to have the reason why is because our line graph doesn't give us the year it doesn't say that it was in 2000 or it was in 2005 so we don't know what year it is and because we don't know what year it is i'm using the present general tense so looking at the graph in more detail sf has sorry not have i should say has singular the highest sales from january to october with revenues ranging from 120 to 170 000 however sf sales experienced a drastic decline in the final quarter of the year with income at just 50 000 in december less than half the monthly average and less than the other three restaurants okay so notice students that again so all i did for spicy fortune is one sentence for this and one sentence for that and by giving good detail and comparison in those two sentences i'm still ending up with let me just tell you here um 57 words okay so according to microsoft word there's 57 words here just on that okay so this is why it's important not to get lost on too many data points everybody got that okay that's an important point can i get a couple of thumbs up and like yeah i got that okay so you don't want to get lost in a lot of data points because if you're describing the most important information accurately you're still ending up with a lot of words okay for dave says got it okay janil says got it right so notice how i didn't even dive virgin to highest in march or starting in january okay i didn't even get to those kinds of points i just don't have enough time right rashika says uh restaurant sf has the highest revenue january to october uh ranging 120 to 170 000 ranging you don't have to use fluctuating rashika because ranging and fluctuating they cancel each other out so they're kind of synonymous so you can use one or the other you can say fluctuating from 120 to 170 000 or ranging from 100 you don't have to use both together rashika okay however from october to december it decreased to just 50 000. okay use another descriptive word the rashika just 50 000. okay all right good so now um let's uh let's discuss uh grand fiesta so what is uh interesting to discuss about grand fiesta what are my data points for grand fiesta okay now you make the notes for this okay so i'm just going to show you the data points i'm going to give you a little bit less help here than with spicy fortune and i'm just showing you the data points so what are my notes give me give me the notes this time in the comments members just the notes okay just the notes so what would be my first note so here i again i should have about three maybe four notes just like what i showed you uh for spicy fortune what would be um my notes here so fernan says maybe we should just group some of these i don't know about grouping i mean there's a fair bit of variance here so i i see what you're saying for dobbs but i wouldn't i wouldn't group oh like grouping the three data points i don't know if i would do that either i mean there's definitely a shift here um so i wouldn't i wouldn't group it uh give me give me the give me the notes so give me the notes upendra sharwar welcome um daniel i am moderately decreased maybe even that's a little bit too much detail um it's a very tight range here between 80 and 100 000 so i don't even know if i would go there um it has the second highest revenue right from here to here okay so second highest revenue so that would be one of my first notes okay until june all right that that would be my first note there um at a very stable 80 to 100 000 range all right and then from june until december what happens okay so i'm looking at this and then i'm looking at this all right now if i'm banned nine yeah i might say that it's surpassed by evening paradise here so june surpassed by evening paradise okay briefly okay and then june to december gradual increase right all right now i've taken these notes i've recognized these trends if i'm talking about january to june june to december what's another way to talk so to say that so immediately when i'm thinking like this like january to june june to december my brain is also trying to think of other ways to say that okay so january to june june to december what's another way to say january to june yeah very good for dobbs absolutely so first half of the year second half so first half year second half year okay remember you're showing your lexical resource your critical thinking it's the academic ielts exam right so now we can take these notes okay and put these together second highest revenue first half of the year surpassed briefly by uh evening paradise and then gradual increase okay until december in the second half of the year finishing with some fairly strong earnings at a hundred and forty thousand yeah daniel that works too first six months of the year um last six months of the year but even better is the first half second half that's a really easy way right you're dividing the year in june okay all right okay so go ahead and put that all together into some sentences okay so put it all together second highest look at the range look at the stability look at the surpassing look at that gradual increase put it all together in sentences i'm going to do the same okay and then we'll compare and that was grand fiesta okay you you okay now watch your tents you probably see me correcting my tents here because we don't have the year as in the past year so i'm correcting the years here let me just here we go i know it's a little bit off screen but that's good because at least you're not staring at what i'm doing but you're thinking about your own way to do this so um make sure the tents are correct here so gf has the second highest sales especially in the first half of the year with the stable 80 to 100 000 now of course in the islets take the time to put in that dollar sign as well okay use symbols whenever possible in these kinds of cases so you're not eating up time and word space for redundant information like dollars and thousands okay so gf had the second highest sales especially in the first half of the year with a stable 80 to 100 000 in june its sales are briefly surpassed by ep until december at which time gf sales increased to 140 000 okay now i know that gf surpasses again in the last month of the year but i don't need to write about that because i can write about that later when i'm uh explaining the next line which is grand sorry which is ep okay all right ferdav says being the second highest revenue gf has a gradual decline in the first half of the year and surpasses ep in june after that it has increased until december and keeps the second uh highest sales very nice for dobbs that's really nice writing in fact for dogs i'll be honest with you i kind of like your [Music] explanation even a bit better than mine i think it's a bit more accurate um explanation so good job okay very nicely done all right um so i think everybody has the idea now again keep in mind that you're using present tense or passive but it's all present tense because we don't know the year so here now we have two more restaurants left we have evening paradise and we have delicacy okay these are the last two lines evening paradise the red and then delicacy i'm going to let you work on that on your own uh i'm out of time for this class however i will finish this essay and then post it on our youtube community board so make sure to come back and check for this essay in the next week or two it will be up okay if you set your notifications for our channel then you'll get notifications when we post these essays onto our youtube community board or when we release new videos um again do what i did so mark the data points okay i can definitely see data points here okay um and then write down a couple of bullet notes where you're thinking okay this is what i need to include in these couple sentences and then put them together okay everybody got that so data points a couple of bullet uh notes and then create the sentences okay follow the pattern that i showed you in this class okay so data points plus bullet notes then two full sentences for each restaurant okay so do that for homework practice that everybody's got it all right and uh for everybody watching to access all of our videos in hd uh our practice exams applications uh we're we are world leaders in ielts exam preparation uh check us out at aehelp.com for academic outs glselp.com for general ielts and hang around in 30 minutes i will be continuing with a live class for the reading section so i will be back in 30 minutes uh with another live class for reading hopefully i will see all of you there you're welcome welcome new members i think we had three new members join this class which is fantastic upendra uh jaineel for dobbs tito nice to have you all on board bye for now see you in half an hour you

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

Id: wEOxsXden3M

Length: 56min 8sec (3368 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 19 2020