IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Band 9 Composition

and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful central europe i hope everybody is having a good start to their week mushtaba lydia andrei eugene navnit nice to see many of our students welcome members hi for dobbs in this class everyone we are looking at the ielts task to writing for a band 9 score and this is a question that was sent to us by one of our students hi carolina yarabisha nick hill good to see more of our members as well this lesson is presented to you by ae help.com i always just kind of write this up here to emphasize where you need to go and you can see it throughout the lesson uh for academic ielts check us out at ahelp.com for general ielts check us out at geilshelp.com on both of our websites we have lots and lots of help for your writing as well as you're speaking in the other sections hd videos we're a word leak world leaders in ielts test preparation this is our academic website here with the blue background click that big red button to join the premium package we're british council registered ielts registration center and for the general i'll go here it's the green background uh with uh general ielts materials click that big red button to join us there we're also certified british council agents as well so you can ask us questions about the exam in english you can send your questions to adrian at aehelp.com and i will get back to you my colleague will get back to you as quickly as possible students just a little bit about the holiday schedule so we have this task to class right now and then we have uh task one task two tomorrow okay so we'll finish the essay that we start with today and tomorrow's class and then 24th to the 27th there's no classes and then i'm back on the 30th and then again a couple of days uh break for the new year's 31st and then back on this race so that schedule is also on our youtube community posts okay everyone let's get into today's task two question hi arda hello beza welcome everyone here we go so you're uh doing your exam and at this point uh you're two hours into your exam okay so by the time you get to writing you're two hours in and you should be feeling confident calm and still full of energy okay don't be nervous when you're nervous you burn energy much faster so staying calm is a very very good strategy you want to be the turtle slow steady step-by-step methodical methodical the word methodical in english means that you're really thinking about what you're doing and you're reflecting on what you're doing okay uh yes you have to write at least 250 words in task 2 to get task completion and most band nine essays are longer than 250 words okay so um it's uh rare to see band eight nine essays that are just 250 words okay all right um so here we go with the question again this was sent to us by one of our students let's take a look so i'll task two writing you should spend about 40 minutes on this task at the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages so are there more positives to this than negatives okay that's what's that's what you're supposed that's what you're asked to answer that's what you have to give your response for so always be really careful about this last question here okay and yeah it's 250 i guess that's why somebody said isn't that supposed to be 200 yeah it's my typo it's at least 250 words okay so task one is 150 you need to write at least 250 words uh keep in mind that most band 7 to 9 essays are closer to 300 words okay they're more expressive they have more content okay all right so it's an interesting question because uh some um because some countries there's actually a lot of elderly people okay so there's a lot of elderly people and it's kind of the opposite okay all right uh first step everyone and this is not your essay yet this is just your planning okay your first step is planning so step one plan your essay it's very dangerous to just start writing your answer most students who just simply begin writing an answer do not get high bands even if they have good english so keep that in mind most candidates that write a task to response without planning do not perform well even with good english and that's true even for native speakers and university students so plan your essay okay it's really really important step one of planning is paraphrase okay so a first paraphrase the question which means write it in your own words to better understand it and to think about it and gather useful vocabulary okay so go ahead and uh paraphrase this question so write it in your own words i'm gonna do the same okay let's do this so here's mine i'm gonna put it right underneath so you can compare it don't overthink it so here's my uh paraphrasing and i'll look at some of the paraphrasing from our students um so here we go again the original one at the present time here's my paraphrase currently okay the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults the number of people in certain nations is composed of a higher proportion of younger adults in comparison to the elderly okay compared with the number of older people do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages do the benefits of this context supersede the negatives so this is a paraphrase of this will this get me a band 9 no it won't i can't just do this and use this for my introduction okay this is just still repeating the question it's not actually answering any part of the question or not defining the question okay so remember students your goal isn't just to paraphrase okay your ultimate goal is to define and answer the question okay not just to repeat okay paraphrasing is somewhat defining but if you're just paraphrasing then you're really just repeating okay all right so let's take a look at what some of you wrote i see some answers coming up carolina says nowadays the majority of people in some nations are younger compared with the elderly do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks very nice carolina simple elegant i like it okay uh nikhil says nowadays the inhabitants of certain nations contain myriads of youngsters compared to a number of elderly individuals myriad is um not correctly used there nick hill myriad means many but it means like many types okay so careful uh read a few examples of how myriad is used and the exact definition nick hill careful myriad is not correctly used in that context okay rehan says nowadays rihan mahmud nowadays is one word okay nowadays proportionally there is a large number of youth in some nations relative to older individuals okay rihanna not bad just watch your punctuation and your spelling okay moriya says currently the number of people in some nations have rather a large number of youngsters in comparison with the elderly yeah careful with the word myriad students that you can't just use it in any context meaning many okay i'll give you an example so in university there is a myriad of subjects for students to choose from many different types of subjects that's a myriad okay so careful with how you use it all right words like myriad or plethora on their own will not get you a good band score okay and examiners tend to hear these words too often anyway okay lydia says nowadays the inhabitants of several countries comprise a significant number of young adults compared with the number of elderly individuals do the pros of this overshadow the cons lydia be very careful young adults and teens are not the same okay uh teens are 13 to 19 young adults are 18 to 35 roughly okay all right hi on um says currently this is becca it's cool says currently the population the young population in some countries override the older population that is incorrect too becca override means to [Music] control or to make the decisions instead of the older people it's easy to misunderstand that override a decision you want to go to disneyland and i override your decision because i want to go to universal studios so because i override your decision we go to universal studios because i supersede your decision but supersede here in my paraphrase works override doesn't it's tricky i know but sometimes you can't paraphrase with some words okay so careful okay so here's my paraphrase currently the number of young people in certain nations is composed of a higher proportion of younger adults in comparison to the elderly do the benefits of this context supersede so notice how i'm using supersede becklul in this part of the question so i'm using it actually in a different part of the question as well okay override you could use that here so you could say do the benefits of this context override the negatives supersede override that's where you could use it okay becca all right so good we're paraphrasing we're getting some ideas we're getting some vocabulary it's fantastic all right if i missed yours don't worry about it you'll have more chances to write sentences and i will review okay um so now um we want to identify the topic so identify the topic okay and what is the topic what are we talking about okay what are we in fact talking about or who are we talking about very good carolina so carolina says we're talking about the population of some countries that's exactly what we're talking about yeah um yarabisha says demographic the demographic age distribution yeah we could talk yeah we could say that yarbisha so the age distribution of countries that's what we're talking about another that's a type of demographic right and that's a part of the population carolina so what we want to do is um we want to specify the topic as much as possible so we want to be accurate and concise and what we're talking about here is the age the age distribution the number of old versus the number of young or the proportion of old the ratio of old versus young that's the topic does everybody see that can i get some thumbs up or if you don't can you ask me well why or what so one more time if you look at the question okay population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people so we're talking about the age distribution of some countries does everybody agree with me that that is the topic okay carolina says yep all right okay very important students that you identify the topic of questions accurately okay it's extremely important okay if you can't you're not going to going to be able to discuss it you can't discuss an idea that you can't identify okay so it is extremely important to accurately identify a topic before verbal or written discussion okay make sure to practice this all right um so what's the what's the controlling idea okay now i see that a lot of people are like okay okay got it all right and he says yeah um abhishek says sir can we say that it's the young and older population yeah you kind of can abhishek it's a definition of the age distribution okay yeah bakula it's the same so you say young and old ratio or population ratio in some countries yeah you can say that because you can it's that's simply a definition of age distribution right age distribution is more concise it's a more accurate identification right okay yeah rihanna practice it if you're in hot water to guess the topic you shouldn't be guessing the topic you should be identifying the topic it's not a guessing game it's an identification game okay all right um so what's the controlling idea ann says is it more beneficial to have more young adults compared to old yeah exactly yeah so is it better or worse to have a high ratio of young to old adults okay so sure that is the controlling idea or the controlling question okay now to generate those ideas a couple people are asking me like uh how do i generate some ideas okay yeah and carolina i like how you're now using the exact quantitative information right because we want to identify what we're really talking about here later in the essay certainly okay so now uh we want to ask some what why how questions so now apply so next step we're still planning here okay is apply critical thinking to the topic and controlling idea simply what i'm saying here is ask what why and how about each so okay an example here is what is the age distribution of a country the answer here is simple we're given the answer so the answer is the number of children teenagers adults and elderly to keep it simple right within a country okay so let's ask the next question then so why does a certain age distribution come into being let me try to simplify this for you so what is a certain age distribution um develop in a country okay now i'm giving you the questions and that's making your life a little bit easier but the big trick here is of course to think about questions on your own so this question you should come up with in your mind when you're thinking about this essay so you should think okay well why does a certain age distribution like why why is there suddenly a lot of old people why is there suddenly a lot of younger people so why are there these generational differences what leads to that okay so abhishe abhishek says economic boost okay leads to more births sure okay why else why else does a country have this don't think about the answer yet to this question of is it better or worse just think about why does the proportion so the number of elderly or young or young adults [Music] differ so why is it that in some countries there are a lot of elderly why is it in some countries there are a lot of um young adults why is it that in some countries maybe there are a lot of children okay so what leads to that okay lydia says better innovations be a little bit more specific lydia okay very good talika so talika pacha says medical improvements okay yeah medical improvements lead to longer lives and less disease okay um anal living standards is the same as an economic boost leads to more births if we're economically strong we have more food we have more space we can house more children yeah okay so think simple here okay we've so we've got medical we've got economy there's some more okay that should come into mind as well okay the opposites right war strife famine changes proportions okay so if there's uh some kind of conflict that can decrease the number of a certain demographic right a lot of young people go to war they die or there's a poor economy there's no medical help elderly don't live as long so the negatives are also true okay so now we can say how do different proportions of age demographics affect uh society okay so instead of saying country we're just gonna say society and again what you really want to work on students is generating these questions so you want to become master question generators not answer generators keep that in mind okay that's a really important tip that i just dropped on you there okay so the best thinkers and authors tend to be those who are not necessarily masters at generating good answers but rather they are masters at generating good questions keep this in mind for success on ielts and in life in general okay so you want to generate good questions and one way to do that initially is just generate lots of them so just think of lots of questions keep the topic and the um controlling ideas in mind okay so how do different proportions of age demographics affect society okay moria says employment food economy good or bad right maurya we don't know that yet right so positively affecting food economy and um what else are students saying here let's see what else what else uh pension sure okay all right so positively or negatively competition is another one that comes to mind okay um so what's another question that i should ask here what's another question so if i have this question and just imagine like you're having a conversation with yourself so how so here's adrian a and adrian b discussing this topic and asking uh these questions so the question that adrian a is asking is how do different proportions of age demographics um affect society and then adrian b says well depending on the age demographic there can be either positive or negative effects on the economy on the food supply on competition on development what do you think adrian a is going to ask from adrian b after this response from adrienne b so if adrian b gives this response what do you think adrian a is going to ask next what would be my next logical question next logical steps no abhishek it wouldn't be what are the benefits of a young population yet uh no yarabisha it wouldn't be an example what's the most popular question that kids love to ask there's my hint i wouldn't say what are the negatives of young adults yet so we still haven't put our thumb on the pulse we haven't hit the nail on the head yet okay cinder affecting doesn't have to be negative no very good carolina very good on so what do you think is the specific question here so what is the specific question you're on the right track osama lydia you're on the right track what's the full question you're absolutely on the right track okay so why do right why do certain demographics have either a positive or negative effect okay yeah so that would be uh my question yeah why so adrian a would say well why why do certain uh demographics you have to remember it's like you're talking to an alien right why do certain demographics have this and then what do you think b will answer so what will be the logical answer so let me role play and this is what you should do when you're developing your critical thinking lots and lots of role play so adrian a says well um how do different proportions of age demographics sorry how do different proportions of age demographics affect society and then adrian b says well they can have either a positive or negative effect on food economy development competition and then adrian a goes hmm that's interesting and why do these different age demographics have either this positive or negative effect on society on a country what do you think adrian b is going to answer to that okay anmaul i'm showing that to you right now how you can generate ideas okay so why is there this difference of positive or negative okay keep it simple if any of you studied flowers and plants in biology and learned about the source and sink concept of the plant world you'll think about this okay so why okay what's the difference think about babies think about three-year-olds four-year-olds think about teenagers think about 20 25 year old think about a 35 year old think about a 75 year old okay so cole claude collode sorry collode abdel nasser says because the youth have power and new ideas okay um sunder says because of age differences ability to work hard yes let's try to simplify that because certain age groups are while other age groups are what are the missing words can anybody tell me that and then you'll have the right idea really pushing your thinking here well this would be adrian uh b's answer here so adrian a says why do certain demographics have either a positive or negative effect and then adrian b here would say well because certain age groups are while other age groups are okay yarabisha you're close productive and uh kolodz is right as well consumer yeah those are the missing words good job put them together so okay that's just the reality of the world all right so certain people are producers while other age groups are more consumers okay and that's just the way it is and who are the producers they tend to be the young adults so they tend to be the 20 to let's say 50 55 year olds that have a high productivity compared to consumption in most cases okay i know there are exceptions but in most cases we're keeping it simple here so what i'm basically doing with this critical thinking is i'm looking at the question and i'm deconstructing it my goal here is to come up with some basic fundamental concepts that allows me to write a powerful 250 to 300 word essay so [Music] this is the point i need to reach in my planning for task two so i can write a fluent coherent high band task 2 essay i deconstruct the question of task two into the basic fundamental ideas okay so no need to overthink it okay it's not a phd that you're writing here but you do need to come up with these concepts of producers and consumers okay so now if i go back to the question i should be able to answer this question okay so i have all of these questions before me now i have a lot of thoughts around it i go back and i read the original question and then i come up with my thesis statement my thesis statement is the most important sentence of my essay it tells my reader what i think what i'm going to argue what the direction of my essay is okay so here we go at the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages okay all right so you could write this negatively too but it's definitely i think easier to write on the positive side here okay all right so let's do the thesis statement based on our answers okay looking for the thesis statement when you have a thesis statement just put a t in brackets so i know it's your thesis statement it's not just a question or an answer to a different idea give me your thesis statement again make your thesis statement direct let me know if you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and let me know why okay so basically your thesis statement is advantage or disadvantage because point one and point two okay that's what i would like to see all right carolina says the benefits of having a large number of young and adults in a nation relative really supersedes the drawbacks because individuals between 18 to 35 years old are more productive compared with the consumers okay good carolina i like it so they're more productive can you give me another reason that the benefits are more okay all right uh muhabat youths are hard-working compared to elders okay good all right let's see some clear thesis statements i'm going to write mine try not to cheat okay so here i don't think it's asking for my personal opinion here it's no personal opinion so it's going to be a third person essay okay j15 we're working on a task two essay introduction we just got through most of the planning and now we're starting to write our introductory paragraph okay so show me the thesis students okay all right so all right ahn says in my opinion having more adults is more beneficial compared to other groups because they are more productive and more adaptable okay very close on to my uh response as well very good okay uh don't use the word huge so the great advantage of a young population being more than elders [Music] is they are more energetic and okay so you're talking about productive with energetic in a different way all right lupne says in most nations the youth to elderly population ratios two to one since 18 to 35 year old or age people the producers of the economy while 40 to 65 are the consumers um okay so you're identifying the age group uh lubna it's not really a thesis it's more your definition for your introduction okay fardov says outweighing the number of young uh generation then elderly in certain countries the positive trend increases with economic activity and development for dogs it's a little bit awkward there's definitely content confusion at the beginning it sounds like you're saying there should be more elderly than young people so rethink that for dogs you need to rewrite that thesis statement okay all right lynn says uh i will consider this positive because youth are more capable of working and producing [Music] actively than elderly people um okay lynn not bad don't use futures tense will and it's not a first person essay it's not asking for your opinion okay all right okay so here is my thesis statement so the advantages of having a large proportion of young adults aged 20 to 45 in a country supersedes the negatives as this leads to productivity and development okay so productivity able to give more services produce more goods and development means produce families and new technology new innovation and information okay so productivity and development here are going to be two unique ideas in my body paragraphs right so productivity is simply products and services and development is innovation technology and the next generation of families right hopefully they'll have many more children so that nation can prosper and grow all right okay all right uh shakib jeed is asking how can i enhance my brainstorming ability shahib ji watch the first part of this lesson if you missed it okay that's exactly what it was about all right so now we have the thesis now we can write our introductory paragraph okay introduction the introduction has three parts it has a hook a background and the thesis that we just wrote okay so we're done with the thesis um now some of you're probably thinking why did he write the thesis first uh the thesis is the foundation it's the epicenter of my essay okay the background the hook i can come up with quickly once i have a good thesis all right so let's write the hook for the hook just write the letter h okay the hook is an interesting statement with the topic okay um short ten words all right remember the topic we have that now it's clear okay so it's the age distribution of countries okay so write a hook compared to mine all right there is my hook okay the hook like a fishing hook okay fishing hook has a little worm on it poor little worm um and the goal is to um catch your reader okay that's your reader the fish okay uh here's your wormy oh don't eat me worm is not so happy um and uh your hook is meant to catch the reader and introduce the topic okay topic catches the reader with an interesting fact all right okay so this is the lead-in for your essay some uh ielts teachers say oh you don't need a hook for task two yeah you don't need one you don't need a hook for any essay uh but if you wanna get a high band score if you wanna have good writing you should have a hook good writing usually does okay all right so um okay so here's my hook the age demographic of a country has a direct effect on its prosperity okay so depending on the ratio of old to young to babies will have an impact on whether or not that country is wealthy or poor living a high quality of life or living a low quality of life okay all right so that's my hook all right darpan says darpan dahal says the well-being of a country depends on the number of adults relative to children and elderly i would finish that darpan with relative to children and elderly it would be a little bit more accurate but i think it's good darpan i think it's good it's a good hook okay lydia says different countries have different numbers of age groups ranging from 0 to 80. yeah okay lydia i probably wouldn't go into quantitative information in the hook hook is usually qualitative i've never talked about that lydia but a hook is i mean you can say millions of something like that but i wouldn't make it too quantitative okay people are more emotional so you want the hook um to uh speak more to their pathos than their logos if you're into greek rhetoric okay fordav says many developing countries have a large population of young period for jobs i adjusted it a bit for it to be a bit better okay lynn says in some countries the number of youth are more than the elderly period yep don't abbreviate people just write it people okay all right jassy says also give some advice on reading uh yeah jesse that will be in a reading class can't do it all okay in one class so that will be a reading class okay these classes are regular so just tune in each week and i'm sure you'll catch one that's about reading okay mala says the youth is the future of every nation i love it moloth i think that's a fantastic hook youth is the future of every nation beautiful hook beautiful hook okay it's a bit opinionated but the topic is there you're talking age demographic and you're targeting and it's a powerful sentence i like it okay um okay so now comes the background so background is uh the definitions definitions and importance so basically another way to think about it is what are you writing about and why okay so that's what your background is and the background should be in the ielts one two sentences at most all right uh don't spend too much time there you gotta get the body paragraphs and the conclusion so but you definitely want to tell your reader like what are you writing about and why are you writing about it okay so okay so what are we writing about most countries categorize their age populations as children teenagers young adults adults and elderly and now i'm going to give a little bit of numbers because that will help okay so yeah let's go 18 to 40. i'm 40. so i want to consider myself a young adult for one more year but you could write 35 i'm just being selfish okay and elderly um elderly okay 60 and over it's a fair fair assumption most people don't work like they used to after the age of 60. some people are still very hard working of course i don't want to undermine that but i mean arguably most people at 60 start to take it a bit easier okay all right so uh here we go so so far we have the uh definition now we want to talk about the importance of the question so why is it uh important to uh discuss this okay it's kind of in my hook already so the age demographic of a country has a direct effect on its prosperity most countries categorize their age population as children teenagers young adults 18 to 40 mature adults and elderly 60 and over okay uh you know what for the importance i am going to use a little bit of my planning here and i'm going to write there so i'll add in one more sentence sure different age groups have different capacities abilities to ensure the growth and prosperity of their nation and then now simply i'm just going to type in my thesis okay and my thesis here is this okay i already wrote it so all i need to do is just put it in here okay let me get this introduction to the next line so you can kind of see it all in one eye shot okay so there is my introductory uh paragraph okay paula says i'm 42 i still feel young yeah we won't own up to it but paula to be honest with you i'm definitely not 25 anymore i couldn't do the work that i did when i was 25. okay um so here we go uh let's do this so introduction with a hook background and a thesis okay all right check it out the age demographic of a country has a direct effect on its prosperity most countries categorize their age populations as children teenagers young adults mature adults and elderly 60 and over different age groups have different capacities to ensure the growth and prosperity of their nation the advantages of having a large population of young adults aged 20 to 45 in a country supersedes the negatives as this leads to productivity and development so now i can take out this part because i've defined it right and i don't want to define it differently than before so there we go i've removed that because i have it here okay so the advantages of having a large population of young adults in a country supersedes the negatives as this leads to productivity and development all right good so there it is that's my introductory paragraph that will get me on path to not only a band nine but also to some fluent writing for body paragraph 1 2 and the conclusion okay so hopefully you can come up with this how did i do it all these steps okay and when you practice these steps that i showed you from the question the paraphrasing the critical thinking you can do it very quickly okay you can come up with this in a matter of a few minutes three four minutes you can do this but you do have to practice this at home all right students tomorrow we will continue with body paragraph one two and the conclusion and i will show you how to write that step by step so make sure that you join me for tomorrow's class to complete this essay okay i will be back at the same time and uh to learn lots more and get lots more help and practice go to aehelp.com for academic ielts and girlshelp.com for general outs where we got loads and loads of help one-time payment lifetime access well worth it you're welcome for dobbs nick hill abhishek yara bishop carolina good to see all of our members in a row wow um you're very welcome natalie i'm glad you found us too collage you're welcome have a great rest of your day if it's late in your country sweet dreams everyone i'm adrian signing out from central europe for now bye you

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies

Id: shKMHHofGJ8

Length: 53min 34sec (3214 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 22 2020