I tried to speedrun this terrible game and made $999,999,999

today we're cultivating mass we need to make this guy as big as possible and i think that means guiding him through all of the food and through the lowest numbered door because that's best for him the lower number the door the least weight we lose i think so this is going to be fun we'll see how big we can make this guy before the very end and collect everything we can along the way now we're going to leap onto a balloon in yup that's a little delayed and launch into space we're going to do this again and again upgrading ourselves along the way because look at that bonus and we get to multiply i guess the three times reward isn't as bad as two times and it was almost four for whatever that's worth but here those beautiful upgrades are gonna come in i guess this one gives us more pushing strength so we're gonna do that all i have to do is watch an ad that you guys don't need to see okay now with our added mess and extra upgrades we're just gonna do it all again eating everything we can along the way going for the little door each and every time but not uh losing out to the sneaky things i almost failed that because math is hard strong it tells me but i'm very skinny so i'm going to build some more mass before i'm able to bust down these doors i think that's how it works we need to give up our mess to be able to do it and we're going to do that each and every time whoops didn't miss that or anything now i need to remember this one is slightly delayed so we got a 97 which is pretty close which lands him flat on his head and that was level two complete and we're getting better at those things so our reward for that apparently was 84 and i assume that's after the multiplier but we got 414 coins now so we're going to add a little more moving mass because that seems helpful to us and again mostly because i don't know what the other one does then we'll even do one more so after that our pushing mass is at 338 or that's what it costs for the upgrade i'm not entirely sure yet i just know we can push a lot of weight we're very fat currently gotta push seven pounds out of the way and it's getting to be a bit of a puzzle we can't just go right around these things of course so we're gonna start doing that and then hit the 11 then also probably the 12. then we're going to keep running and now time for my favorite part when we launch the big man summer into space and we got the green one on our third try look how high he's going are we gonna get the bonus i don't think we're gonna get the bonus but we're in the red zone 50 and a pretty severe concussion i guess our reward already is 109 and that's going to determine how much we get we got a times 3 and i got to watch a beautiful ad but i think we get a gift soon uh we're going to upgrade this this time i'm not really sure what it does but i assume we should be upgrading it also anyways now that that's out of the way let's start our next run this time we're going to be smart and not go around the things but we had good intentions there baddest we are the fattest already we're going to scoot over and grab some of this stuff and over to the 16 grabbing all of this stuff along the way and this stuff and all the way over to the 13 then we're gonna go try and get back and forth for as many of those as possible then hopefully hit a big number here max power at 98 but we launched the big guy so we launched a little guy we might get the bonus this time [Music] looks like it's gonna be right on the money 160 so we're getting pretty rich already just gotta time this super carefully right there perfect so that was a pretty successful level i think i'm getting the hang of this because we have seventeen hundred dollars already and what is this menu we can open something for 500. uh okay we just spent 500 and it randomly gives us one of these which is going to be hopefully some kind of upgrade i think we got a hat i'm actually pretty annoyed with that but i can't help but touch things it's just what i do i'm a toucher but that still bought a few upgrades for each thing plus another one if i have to watch this ad and there we go these upgrades and added math should help carry us through i'm gonna jump back to that 12 because that's clearly the lowest number and the 10 and then we're gonna run back and whoa didn't even see that one uh whoops okay we might have made a pretty big mistake here now we're back to normal size i don't want to be normal size i want to be enormous size well we'll get as many of those as we could and then hopefully the best on this still pretty good i don't think we're going to get to the top but we're going to be close to the top slowly upgrading our way to bigger and better things and oh we did make it to the top and that was level 5 complete so i think we get the gift box we sure do let's take uh that one that one and this one or not a great bonus but you know what it's free can i have more and that also kind of means we didn't get to uh pick our bonus thing but that's okay because we can just get some more upgrades to move more doors and then uh one more for the ad well now we're ready to go helmet and all we're gonna get everything oh we probably shouldn't touch those i thought i was supposed to eat that how am i supposed to know what's edible or not not a psychic ooh glowing food that's the best kind of food and there we go i like how this game involves math somehow well not really math just basic counting but that's math to me because i'm stupid never going to scroll over to the no oh okay that's a new one didn't know he had that special move in the arsenal and there 100 our first perfect jump that should propel idiot stick right up to the bonus which is now worth 200. boom so after that successful run we've got 1831 dollars to spend so we're gonna make this one catch up because it's a cheap point upgrade in fact we're only gonna do that one i'm not even gonna watch the ad though cause i'm sick of watching ads uh also wasn't paying attention hopefully that worked out for me 20 is the lowest number here if he can fit through the door then we're going to see if we can squeeze over to the 18. because i'm a professional after all that thing's moving which is concerning then 21 and back and forth hopefully get all of these he moves quick for a big guy i'm getting pretty good at timing this one so this won't be a challenge to get him to the top we're making so much money already this is almost too easy i just want to watch this guy crash on his head again and again i wonder how long it would take us to make a million dollars we've got 2 000 now so we're going to upgrade maybe our moving ability i'm still not entirely sure what this does but we're going to keep doing it and there we go maybe that means i can push weight around easier without losing as much weight exercise is the enemy scoot over there run them around the corner i've been these are the courses were a little longer too oh try and land oh okay we got another yeah whatever this is great we're gonna grab a bunch of those and jump onto our thing 248 there in the meter for whatever that's supposed to mean ninety-five percent is good enough for me and kerblamo still don't know what we're doing but we seem to be doing it right so after the last level we had two thousand after this one we have 2700 and we get a present after this one now let's upgrade pretty much everything we can i'm not watching any more ads though i'm over that my brain is already melting from all this stupidity there and we're going to take this scoot over to the 24 maybe get a sugar rush not sure we're getting a sugar rush off of though though i'm not paying attention to what we're eating so i don't really know don't touch the robot this time oh i should have crushed them and we're gonna take that and that that was actually pretty good one i don't think we missed much food at all though by the looks of this guy i don't think he ever misses much food can certainly launch him to the top even with a fairly weak ejection wonder if we can go over the top one day there's 320 for reaching the top for only 500 after that run but still pretty good maybe we'll just upgrade this i think this is going to get us more money ultimately though i'm not entirely sure but we'll just go through the steps again pretty much the same as it always is we did get another sugar rush on this one though and this course seemed to be just a touch longer uh yeah i wasn't really paying attention there but great i thought my sugar rush would keep going so i wouldn't have to worry as much but it let me down at the last second as sugar rushes always do definitely fell well short of the top for the first time in quite a while but i think that was level 10. so 2500 coins after that and we get to open three mystery boxes so we're going to go like that and that puts us up to 3 000 which is enough for more upgrades that are going to earn us more money so that's just great we're going to get more pushing and the upgrades are getting so expensive and food is getting trickier and trickier to get a hold of i definitely misplayed that but we'll pretend that didn't happen i did get another sugar rush i think that's because my meter is full it's hard to pay attention in a game like this because there's so much happening all at once it's kind of hard to figure it out as you go but we got another 98 and that should push him to the top for extra extra extra money he was so sparkly on that jump too i look away just launch in there and he lies there and dies while we go and spend our money so all that left us with 3200 uh upgrades are costing about a thousand each now so that's definitely getting expensive quickly but that's still enough for a few upgrades right well let's go launch that idiot one more time hopefully eventually he just dies and there's another sugar rush from eating enough purple glowy food and we're going to take that and grab as many coins as we can that's it perfect for some reason again i'm not really sure what was perfect about it but i'll take it and given all of our mess it should not be hard to make him hit the top which is not worth 440. okay one minor little issue later and we're back and now we're just simply gonna upgrade two things and be on our way again it feels weird right now that i have a thousand dollars and it's not enough to buy an upgrade it did tell me i'm strong though and that compliment makes a world of difference all these doors are getting in the way i gotta keep my mess up uh oh okay good thing that happened because i was definitely panicking on my counting skills there perfect now we're at our fattest so when we jump on here we'll be able to launch a little guy way up high close enough for me off he goes there's something satisfying about this but more so when he lands directly on his head now the money's getting bigger five thousand dollars to spend i think we're going to put that into pushing strength because i notice myself getting small when i push too much stuff regularly needs some extra strength for that nothing a little food won't fix though and we're going to end that one with maximum mass and a big sugar rush so that means maximum power that's got to be as close to launching the guy over it as you can possibly get 470 and a homicide definitely didn't get as nice of a multiplier there so only 3200 to spend but that's still 3200 so let's upgrade whatever this one does and then do it all over again and the jump pretty consistent with that one the bonus is up to 520 now and we get our next gift box we're gonna open the middle row for an extra few hundred coins though we've got four thousand to our name and next time we'll figure out exactly what that means for this large man that only gets larger

Channel: DangerouslyFunny

Views: 853,058

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Id: cdpfbU_kJXI

Length: 9min 53sec (593 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 27 2021