Professional cuddlers Those who give platonic physical touch to paying customers in the form of holding hands hugging and spooning Professional cuddling dates back as early as 2003 when charismatic entrepreneur Reid Mihalko spawned the concept in the form of organized cuddle parties in Manhattan for a $30 entrance fee customers gained access to a pop-up location full of beds where they could cuddle with anyone else in attendance with a recent rise in popularity some professional cuddlers are able to achieve successful careers earning up to $40,000 a year! My name's Anthony Padilla and today I'm gonna be sitting down with professional cuddlers to learn the truth behind what really goes on behind closed doors on this unconventional lifestyle is cuddling a legitimate form of therapy that requires immense skill as so many professional cuddlers claim or is it nothing more than a ploy to rake in money in the laziest way possible? is professional cuddling a g-rated experience aimed at allowing those who lack physical touch in their lives to experience one of humanity's most basic needs or is it a heartless community of money-hungry deviants looking to take advantage of our society's most lonely and vulnerable citizens? Hi, Ondrej Hi Hi, Emily Hi Hey, Jean Hi! Thank you so much for coming out and teaching me about the wondrous world of professional cuddling^^ You are welcome! :D So what do you consider yourself professional cuddler? Body contact enthusiasts? Both, I suppose? Yes, I am a cuddlist Certified cuddlist! I am definitely a touch positive person~ Touch positive person! But not- I'm selective Oh, yeah? It's not like anybody can up can come up to me and give me a hug. The truth is it has to be the right situation I need to feel safe and comfortable What is being a professional cuddler entail? Being compassionate and being okay with strangers being all over you I empower adult people who want to express closeness and experience closeness through... touch that is affectionate, you need, stays platonic and gender free Leading events and helping people who've never met each other to feel comfortable with each other to begin being real with each other and maybe even feeling safe enough to hold hands or give a hug or even cuddle How long have you been a professional cuddler? About two years. Two years? We're celebrating our fifth year! What first made you want to become a professional cuddler? I just want to make the world a better place And to make your make account happy. :> Yeah that too I was kind of cuddly kid ev- You were cuddly kid? Everyone liked touching me and I really loved people (Yeah) More than my mum was kind of comfortable with *cute Padilla giggles* So you were pushing her boundaries by hugging other people? Oh, absolutely! And you know because of my, sort of, eye sight I'm legally blind. (Yeah.) I was just running to everybody and just people People loved me and it's like brilliant You know, I came at this whole world from the client perspective meaning I needed these services myself. I thought the only way to get safe human connection I had to sort of be sexual in order to get it at the end (Right, yeah) because I gave myself such terrible and painful situations that I put myself in because I was feeling lonely and I'm like "Oh, I guess I need to hook up" and I basically hijacked this man's evening, like he didn't even know what hit him You know what I mean? like (Yeah) I'm like we're on a track- a path and the path is we need to do something sexual so you can cuddle with me I think he felt pressure. The whole thing was just a shit show Yeah Do you find that people are typically skeptical of the therapeutic effects of professional cuddling? No, actually (Really?) Yeah, it's been scientifically proven that there are actual physical effects Oxytocin is released, that's called the love hormone. Well, it's more than- I mean it's- it's love in the very basic platonic sense Yes. Yes. It's the- yes, it's the cuddle hormone, so I mean it makes you feel good It's like endorphins or you know dopamine In the Czech Republic where I come from definitely Here in America? Not really. So people are more open to it in America? I've got very few dismissive comments maybe people are just polite, I don't know Why do you think cuddling and physical touch in general is so important for the well-being of people? Our bodies are built for connection if a baby gets enough cuddling and touch, it ignites or releases the growth hormone so it's mental growth and physical growth so a child who doesn't have those things will actually have a stunted growth process Social connection is a necessity not an option So like th- the harshest punishment in prison system is solitary confinement Affectionate touch is the most primal language of bonding, our nervous system is genetically programmed to understand that's our human species evolutionary advantage words can fail many things can fail when touch is affection to - you just- you feel safe as humans As humans, we've you know, we came from like very close-knit tribes (Right) where there was a lot of physical contact and now in society, we kind of hide behind our computers and even though we may have 3000 Instagram followers do we actually know any of those people? (Right) face to face like how much contact Do we actually have with people these days? Right, and even more than just face to face talking but touching (Actual touch) arm over shoulder, hugging (Yes, exactly) Do you think professional cuddling is for everyone to enjoy? I think a good professional cuddler receives training we provide a training at cuddle sanctuary and my colleagues at cuddlist my colleagues at certified cuddlers so we have an online training, we have in-person training because there are people out there who hear about this profession and are like "Are you effing kidding me? I can lay around and just like earn the dough?" Oh, yeah They think that there's no (Practice!) training or practice or any knowledge attached to it? That's right. That's right and the truth is (Got it) there are some people who probably have so much compassion and beautiful boundaries and could probably do this work right away Yeah I would recommend that everybody just take a deeper look like we have a free webinar, like just give us an hour of your time so we can unpack this a little bit for your safety and for the client's safety so that only good happens and not crappy experiences Do you proudly tell people that you're a professional cuddler or you keep it more of a secret? Oh my god Yeah? I don't know where this is going! I'm so out! Oh yeah? You're- I'm so out - Instagram, Facebook but the reason- the reason I said, oh my god (Yeah) is that I did something so taboo a few years ago, that it almost prepared me to be like, "Cuddling? That's nothin'!" so the sex and the relationship began to atrophy what I didn't realize is that I was actually violated by my partner I just- I didn't know the words for it but that's why my body shut down and like things were not right my gynecologist said you have vaginismus your pelvic floor is tightening to prevent any action there's even a website vaginismus.com to help you get healed from it And as I did the exercises which had to do with like "Has anything bad happened?" I'm like, oh yeah something really b- bad really happened with my partner and it helped me to realize Oh, I'm done with you when I let that relationship go (yeah) I made a commitment to myself that my sexuality matters and to pay attention to my body (Yeah) So I went on an odyssey, I actually gave myself permission for sexual exploration without making commitments I accidentally realized (Yeah) that I was kinky That's- (Like accidentally!) That's all it took? So I wrote a play called coming out kinky (Uh huh) and I performed it in ten cities so then I began designing classes around it because - check this out at one of my earlier performances, somebody gave me a call and said, "Can we please use your play as continuing education for psychotherapists?" I'm like, what the what?! That's how helpful it was. Exactly! It was like this huge endorsement that the show wasn't just for my own personal expression that it actually could teach about sexual diversity How has being in this field changed the way that you view intimacy in general? It enhanced like, my own pleasure awareness so much I can differentiate much better when I need bonding (Yeah) and when I need sex, Right (and these things get so often kind of misconstrued) They become the same thing in our culture. They become the same thing Do you think people in this country show enough physical affection? N-no I definitely don't I definitely don't Why do you think that is? I would blame Church for that you know people out of their deprevation started consuming more porn when you're a little hungry you can think about eating a piece of salami if you're really hungry, you think you feel as if you can eat whole cow so the- the desire is really unhinged So because people were taught to repress those sexual desires when something happened, people would use that as an example of why those sexual desires were innately bad in the first place And then on top of it, the desire for touch gets confused with sexual desire What's the most difficult part about being a professional cuddler? Having to release yourself of the other person's energy Cus you'll be picking up on that during the whole sess- (Yes.) Yes, most cuddlers, they get into this because they are emphatic in some way (Yeah) and you do- you pick up on the other person's energy sadness, rejection (Shame) Shame and then also like sexual energy (Right) Yeah, a lot it. A lot of sexual energy? You pick up on a lot of sexual energy? (Yeah) And you're trying to- try to release that afterwards? I mean wait- I would- I didn't mean it like that Not my intention Not my intention Sometimes Have you learned anything surprising about yourself through your experience as a professional cuddler? How it sort of moves me back to sometimes- sometimes childhood and childish desires the type of touch it's happening in this sort of resembles the- the touch we were receiving as kids. Yeah And I believe that my whole nervous system sometimes can get transported (Mm-hmm) through that tactile code (Yeah) into- into my childhood, and so I kind - of all of a sudden just revisit like things that were long forgotten. Do you allow your clients to sleep during your sessions? Absolutely me as a catalyst, (yeah) I would never do that. You would never sleep in your own sessions? No, no because I feel sort of obligated to keep the container. Have you ever fallen asleep during your sessions? (Yeah) You have? (Yeah, I have) What's that like? Now I just pretend that I didn't. Oh, right. You never admit that. No. No. Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable situation during one of your sessions? There was one client who played the long game yeah, he was really sweet like very spiritual and, um, each session he would just get a little bit more and more intense and a little bit handsier and I felt less and less comfortable and then there was a session where um, he wanted an hour and a half but after an hour, I'm like hey, I gotta go like it was- I was just like counting the seconds until it was over (Yeah) and so I got up to leave and he pulled me back into the bed yeah, and I'm like, oh no, this is goodbye. Goodbye. You can Venmo me. Wait, is that your house? It used to be. Yeah, now I have an office That sounds like a scary situation. (Yeah) And I- I have weapons stashed strategically There were some red flag behaviors that this client had and they're like - like where we like "Pay attention. This might not be the right client for you." And- and I looked him up on social media and I did see some angry stuff relating to women That should be the red flag of red flags. (Mhm-mhm) I did my due diligence which is I did have a safety buddy, somebody who knew where I was, and what I was doing and, you know, that I was with a client - like all that safety protocols but as soon as I was in session with this client, it was not the right client I did feel uncomfortable because what he needed was a sex worker. What's been the most bizarre experience you've had with one of your clients? There was a guy who- um, he wanted to shave my legs. Did you say yes? Well, okay, here's the thing He's like, you know "I had another cuddler and, uh, I shaved her legs and it was like a fun activity and it brought us closer" That's like strangely intimate in a way so much deeper than cuddling that's like- I've been very intimate with people and I- I've never done that. Oh god, me neither. No, he's like, "yeah, it's fun", and I'm like well Yeah, it's fun! Well, I hate shaving my legs so if you want to do that for me, you're gonna save me time. And he's paying you So, yeah If you're gonna pay me to shave my legs Okay. "Ben Neil" wants to know what the saddest or most emotional thing is that a client's ever told you during one of your sessions. Oh god, this is just heartbreaking He, um- He's kind of young. He's in his 20s and he grew up in an abusive household. He's like, "can I be honest with you?" I'm like, yeah, of course. He's like "This is the first time I've ever cuddled with anybody besides my dog" Woah Yeah, like any human that he can remember yeah And how did that make you feel? I felt really honored to be able to provide that for him. But- but also just heartbroken. (Yeah) like you can't remember a time when your parents cuddled to you So I think it's a really great service that you and the other professional cuddlers are offering because some people may never be able to experience those feelings in life without a safe place (Yeah) like the one that you provide So yeah, that was that was heavy "Buggy Baby" wants to know if you've ever had an experience where a client became aroused? Yeah, oh, yeah, in fact, I wrote a blog about it. (Yeah?) like what if my cuddle buddy gets a boner? Many adults have not received any cuddling unless it's before or after a sex act So they associate it so deeply- Their body associates it I say hey, um, just so you know I understand that arousal can happen and it could be just part of muscle memory it could also just be because you feel very relaxed we will never stoke the flames of arousal, we will never like go in the direction of arousal but I'm gonna give you a 3-step process Step 1 Don't freak out. (Okay) Step 2 Celebrate your body parts are working. (Okay, yes) that's a thing to celebrate, not everybody gets that And then Step 3 Let's make a shift, like perhaps we were spooning which was just a little too reminiscent of sex act, you know, Why don't we thumb fight? Yeah thumb fighting is probably the least sexual thing on the planet (See?) See? Yeah how that's like- so there you go What is it about being a professional cuddler that brings you the most joy? For the first time in my life, I feel really useful majority of the things in my life, I didn't find really useful doing (Mhmm you weren't satisfied?) and this is very rewarding because there is such a shortage of affectionate touch Now the moment we've all been waiting for, a cuddling demonstration. (Yes) Shall we? Yeah Okay, wait, so I do it this way. (Yeah- Yeah) Like this? (Yeah you just sit down) Okay Get on your side and then this is your pillow right here (Okay) And then I want all the weight of your head, like give it all (Okay. Okay.) You can hug my leg like a teddy bear (Okay) or I can give you a pillow to hug (Oh, this is great) Okay (May I put my arms around you?) Yeah yeah Like that? (Yeah) Oh, wow (How does it feel?) I feel accepted Okay so do you want to be a little spoon? Yeah little spoon, (Yeah, okay) let's little spoon it (Alright) so I shall turn this way so like this? (Yeah) Okay I feel- I feel loved, I feel accepted, I feel warmth I feel an intimate connection without being sexual just completely platonic I feel good and this is probably the most famous guy I've been so- so close to (And then, so I'm gonna put my arm around you if that's okay) Sure yeah (Okay) (So like we could hold hands) Oh like this look at this, my hand is the dominant but my body is the dominated (Here we go) Yeah (Yeah) This specifically reminds me of my interactions with my mom when I was young, especially when I was sick or there was a portion of my life when I was 15 where I had a disease and I was trying to recover and my mom would give me lots of physical contact she'd rubbed my back, she would encourage me to lay on her and I feel like that was really important for me to recover and I haven't really felt that in the same way in a completely platonic sense since I was a child with my mother Well, thank you for sharing what you've been through (Yeah I-) I'm really grateful for your mom she must've been an amazing woman She is, thank you This is the most close I've been to a man ever Can I hug you? (Yeah yeah) Here we go You could put your arm around me (I like that) You can hold me like tightly if you like, like- like a teddy bear (Oh wow, I'm gonna have to try some of these out on a significant other) Mhmm I feel- when I touch the calluses (Yeah) I- my body reads that code like that man is strong so he can protect me Awkwardness? (No, it's not awkward yet) May touch my hair? (Yes, you may touch my hair) and may I kind of connect with your feet? (Sure) Yeah (It's kind of relaxing to feel that body weight on me) It is, it's actually pretty popular (This position?) Uh-huh I'm getting a little oxytocin high You're feeling oxytocin high right now? Yeah Yeah feels good And we actually have a parting gift for you, Best Interviewer Shirts You can get that on padildoshop.com but you don't have to and this is perfect to wear during your next cuddling session That will make people, "Oh, what is that? Where did you get it?" Oh, you know what? There's this fantastic Anthony Padilla guy His channel, you have to subscribe today so that's great. You should subscribe to his channel because it'll make you feel warm and fuzzy inside and everybody deserves to feel that way. Even you, you unsubscribed piece of s*** (become a subscriber and you'll feel that feeling too) Alright, you got five seconds a shout-out or promote anything you want directly to the camera, go If you feel like you need some cuddles or you want more information follow us on Instagram PasadenaHealingTouch Find CuddleSanctuary on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Cuddlesanctuary.com for free stuff! The more cuddling the less drugs, stay in touch every day Thank you so much Ondrej I feel like I fully understand the wondrous world of professional cuddling After spending the day with these professional cuddlers, I've come to realize how much compassion, positivity, and acceptance truly goes into making each cuddling session a safe haven for clients In a society in which many of us are closed off from affection and physical touch, it's no wonder a service exists that offers close body contact with another person in a purely platonic manner See you later. Bye guys. Press a like! First of all, I want you to give me all of your weight (Okay) See? (Oh) This was 100% different (Yeah, that's a lot- that's a lot weight) It's- yeah, it's great, now- I can hear you struggling to breathe and to speak right now
