I Held A Funeral For KSI’s Hamster….

oh my god [Music] big day today i'm putting on a funeral for ksi's dead hamster and it's only right that i look my absolute finest and that's why we've got manscape performance package 4.0 now have a look at this the lawnmower 4.0 with skin safe technology i know morpheus was a fan not only that but the crop reviver a refreshing ball toner morpheus love this one ah the anti-shaping baldeo drinks morpheus did love this one and of course the boxers the comfortable boxers and if you want to be comfortable and you want to look your best then use funeral at checkout at manscape.com for 20 off and free shipping now get out of here it's time to get to work this is the first studio i've ever been to wait is it actually yeah cal frieza's taking your funeral virginity i don't know how i feel about that honestly this is literally my first loss your first bereavement because oh yes here comes morpheus oh wow oh there he is that is oh wow wow how does that make you feel i i don't know how to feel this grief come here man you've got i thought this is the wedding yeah it's it's a celebration it's gonna be all right well thank you okay right here we go this this should do the trick uh jj would you mind just holding this for him so we're gonna get him on this okay oh my god he'll be on here in a minute there we are here he comes here he comes right let's get him on the board let's get him looking nice we need to do the shaky thing no no no no no no no it's uh yeah do you want to just i think we'll go for an open casket i think we'll have an open cap here if we just leave that like that yeah no that's good there we go we'll leave this just wow this is actually happening yeah all right let's get make sure you'll stay level there's a level well who's who put it on your shoulder you guys are too tall it's not even me oh there's gap there's a gap there's not a gap there's a gap with my shoulders no sweaters [Music] oh wow listen to that okay listen to that i know what left what is going on is that the halo theme oh there we go oh i'm shaking thank you for coming thank you for coming okay brothers and sisters in christ you'll grow welcome to our church today and to our service as we both commemorate and celebrate the short life of a dear friend morpheus the hamster morpheus death has touched us all in different ways to some he was family to others a dear friend but whatever your connection with morpheus i invite you to join me today as we send him off on a high to help us to do that we're going to recall some of his greatest moments so the words of some of those who knew him best and so i would like to invite callum to come and say a few words you got this thanks hi thank you all for coming today i appreciate you guys taking time out your busy schedules i'm sure we'd all rather be doing something else but it's important today that i get a good video it's funny how it takes a death in the community to uh to bring everyone together we should probably do this more often hello as you guys can see it's an emotional day for a lot of people um so if people could refrain from giggling or any other sort of inappropriate behavior at today's ceremony i've seen a few clips circling online of some of jj's closest peers mocking the death of morpheus so guys if we could all just take a moment to buy your heads and just think of morpheus okay that's it from me uh i'd now like to welcome a close friend of mine a close friend of morpheus up to uh to say a few kind words um joshua don crimes larkin i i don't think he's even met mine no we've we met them there's that time all right huh maybe not have you ever met a hamster with a raging cocaine addiction morpheus i knew him my whole life he was a rat he got what was coming to him he was barking up the wrong tree and no death has ever been more deserved i'd also like to point out that morpheus clearly got zero hoes it was a maidenless boosting i'm so excited you're probably wondering why i'm even here and i am just here to make sure this gerbil looking rodent is dead follow my socials amen are we actually covered to celebrate it's a celebration of life a funeral is a celebration thank you callum and josh for those kind words [Laughter] we'll now hear from another member of morpheus close circle one who sadly can't be with us today but who has recorded for us a video oh my god uh please welcome stephen tries jesus christ hi i'm stephen tries unfortunately i can't be there today because apparently there's more than 20 people in a room with a knee might faint not an issue that cropped up during the tour though yeah wasting my time today we come together at a funeral for a hamster that was named after a character on the matrix so you can call me keanu greaves the character morpheus was played by actor lawrence fishburne but we're not here to talk about a fish burning we're here to talk about a hamster rotting rip fella morpheus was like family to a lot of us and just like my uncle graham he touched us all i remember when my mother rang me saying that little road in ksi looks after has died i thought did god who will take over no two ways sadly i was mistaken like morpheus my parents got divorced it can be a hard time apparently he was often seen drinking from the bottle and surrounded in his own much like harry during lockdown i would like to end this heartfelt eulogy with a song that morpheus and i used to listen to before intercourse [Laughter] coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine got it gonna be down because i want it all it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this it was only a kiss it was only a kiss that was mr brightside by the killers of course morpheus killers are still at large although there are rumors circling that he killed himself due to his ties with prince andrew i don't know what to believe r.i.p fella you were a good guinea pig hamster [Applause] after those well-chosen words from stephen i would like to invite you all to stand to sing a hymn for more yes you'll find the words on the reverse of your sheets surely not there's no way there's no way we're all saying i want to die i want to die morpheus is dead okay i want to stay you really made me [Music] holiday you're my holidays [Music] you're my holidays [Applause] [Applause] we'll now hear from ksi morpheus loving father you're up [Applause] you'll be okay you could address that yeah interesting are you an actual priest but he's got to feel he's got to feel relaxed at the funeral so it's important that he's comfortable yeah everything's safe um well thank you all for coming why do we keep clapping can we stop can we can we stop clapping okay can we stop talking please please [Applause] [Applause] enough okay um i actually have written some words uh for morpheus first of all i know i'm not dressed for the occasion uh this is my first funeral so i'm i'm quite new about it i will be better also the hamster was gray so i thought morpheus was such an adventurous hamster why do you laugh one morning i woke up and heard rustling besides my bed i was so confused i thought it was simon trying to pull a prank on me or jump in bed with me because of a nightmare he had but no i opened my eyes and no one was there i looked down and it was morpheus he was literally rummaging through my bag now i know you're wondering how did the hamster get there probably not one doing that you probably don't even care honestly um but yeah i i forgot to close the cage so um yeah uh he he had escaped it escaped the cage i i so basically the cage was like this why are you clapping that bro i do the cage was like this and there was like a little flap and he kind of like spiderman jumped onto the onto the flap cool story you said cool story this is my funeral i mean ah moving on um i read this thing online and thought it felt right to say it now how can the dead be truly dead when they still live in the souls of those who are left behind morpheus or as i like to call him little morph my hamster physically he is dead but in all of our memories he lives on goodbye for now morpheus i will always remember you and love you amen amen thank you don't don't don't [Applause] thank you very much to ksi who clearly loved his son very much and we now play a tribute video of morpheus which has been put together by his loyal fan base wait where are you stretching these eight minutes [Music] so this one is called morpheus got a little morpheus here what's up bro hey you good do you wanna you wanna look at some reddit posts with me what are you doing i'm just here with my cute little hamster [Music] [Laughter] three two one go hurry morpheus move you're gonna let neo do this oh here we go oh i'm hopeless with the comeback i don't believe it congrats [Music] wow it only lasted two years well that brings us to the end of our service today thank you very much for attending and for showing morpheus the appreciation and love you clearly all hold for him we now like to welcome all his family and friends to come to the front and say your final goodbyes perhaps sprinkle a few wood chippings from his bed over the coffin and then we'll all gather outside to send morpheus up into the skies what oh no no what would you like to say all right up into the sky everyone wants to queue up you're welcome say any final words i got in to the uh i'm gonna miss you buddy uh rest rest in peace just like i'm not i'm not good at this no it's all right he can't hear you anyway boss okay oh my god why that was it wow later bro sorry man i dressed for an orgy smash that like button 10 000 likes and he goes to heaven just like to take this opportunity to tell you about a fantastic vpn service everyone has said the goodbyes if we could just head outside to say goodbye to morpheus now this is ridiculous i'm serious a sandwich that i mean no no he just died of all day he just said i don't know how i feel about it going into the air let's just hope it does see him off bye bye brother g there he goes [Applause] [Laughter] now [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Calfreezy

Views: 11,648,670

Keywords: Soccer, Football, Calfreezy, Rebel, Rebel FC, London, England, How to, Footy, Tekkers, YouTuber, Challenge, Soccer Skills, Football Skill, Trick Shots, Soccer Fails, Football Fails, Tricks, Freestyle Football, funny, comedy, friends, vlog, vlogging, freezy

Id: QJ-qJY9t4wI

Length: 21min 51sec (1311 seconds)

Published: Sat May 21 2022