I Found a Super Weird Instructional Video from 1999

hey guys before the video starts just want to say i'm going on tour again finally this feels crazy to say but with vaccines rolling out and everything and you know life is sort of getting back to normal i got shows coming up at the end of the year i will be in raleigh north carolina huntsville alabama nashville tennessee boston massachusetts bridgeport connecticut new brunswick new jersey and levittown new york some shows are already sold out because i announced this last week on my twitter and instagram so we added second shows but we may still add more so if you want to stay in the loop follow me on twitter on instagram and i'll be posting about shows on there link in the description or just go to curtiscar.com grab your tickets and i'll see you at the end of the year enjoy the video alright hey guys welcome back to my channel if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it's really good to see you again i hope you're doing well you see what happens when you subscribe to my channel you get an extra greeting at the beginning so do it uh pay no attention to uh my appearance right now please do not perceive me i mean watch the video and you know like it and stuff but reception is off limits all right i will say if they do a joe dirt remake dude i'm a [ __ ] shoeing folks how do you think the world's gonna end climate change alien invasion maybe a big shark i don't know nobody knows how humanity will come to an end i mean it's 100 gonna be climate change but hey you never know could be a could be a big shark the whole concept of the apocalypse is insanely popular in modern media and even ancient media in the good book not twilight the other one the bible they talk about how armageddon is the place where the kings of the earth under demonic leadership will wage war on the forces of god at the end of history but hey man if that happens armageddon me a cold one and a lawn chair cause that sounds kinda full transparency here i also thought the term armageddon came from the bruce willis movie so but now i know that's not true i learned something new and that's a good thing so you can't make fun of me for it speaking of movies there have been a staggering amount of movies that take place either during the apocalypse or after the apocalypse also a lot that take place before the apocalypse that's like pretty much every movie i guess no there's independence day the day after tomorrow war of the worlds war of the worlds tom cruise edition this is the end the happening the core snow piercer i am legend straight up this whole video could just be me listing off apocalyptic movies but you don't want that right right or you do i don't know a lot easier for me you don't okay for the most part all these movies are pretty similar but they're all so much fun to watch man show me a big city just exploding or just some dangerous threat coming towards the main character and he's just like we gotta go now and i'm there dude dude there's one like chase scene the day after tomorrow where jake gyllenhaal and friends are like running away from ice do you remember that [ __ ] that is like simultaneously the dumbest and coolest scene of all time pun intended all these apocalyptic movies are awesome except for knowing sorry nicholas cage that movie has the worst ending i've ever seen in my life spoiler alert the kids were adam and eve the whole time i don't even feel bad about spoiling it okay i just did you a favor i wish i was knowing how to get those two hours of my life back there's also another apocalyptic movie that came out that i want to talk about came out in 2009 and it was called 2012. and this movie is just so fascinating to me because it came out like during the time where everybody thought the world was going to end in 2012 so movie studio was like you know what let's make some money off of that fear if you forget people thought uh the world was going to end in 2012 because um an ancient like mayan calendar ended on december 21st 2012. some people thought earth was going to collide with this planet called planet x or they thought there was going to be like some natural disaster like a tidal wave or a big shark some people also were tying it to the large hadron collider i thought that it was going to make this huge like black hole and it was going to give planet earth the old suck gonna give us the old blood gluck super soaker 9000. and dude i remember genuinely like being terrified like i straight up thought that we were gonna die in the year 2012 because i would just watch so many youtube videos from like these weird conspiracy theorists and i was 13 so i didn't know any better and youtube recommendations are a scary thing one minute you're watching mark johnson's part and fully flared and then the next minute you're watching a video called hey curtis you know you're gonna die in five years yeah how about you tell your friends about it too so they can think differently of you obviously we survived 2012 at what cost no obviously we survived 2012 but funny enough the year 2012 isn't the first big apocalypse scare that i lived through no no no when i was five years old i survived y2k i know some of you might be a little too young to know what y2k was so let me give you a brief summary back in the day like in the 80s and 90s when it came to like keeping track of the date computer programs only use like a two number system because you know why spend all that time putting like 1992 when you can just put 92. right makes sense we still do that today but then people started to wonder like what year is the computer gonna think it is when it gets to the year 2000 because there's just going to be two zeros they're not programmed for this we're [ __ ] so with that people thought computer systems worldwide which like shut down at midnight on new year's they thought planes would fall out of the sky furnaces would turn off cars would stop working radio signals would go awry just pretty much any technology would just not work anymore like news publications were writing about this they were selling y2k survival kits call now and get the ultimate y2k survival kit prince even wrote a [ __ ] banger about this back in 1982. like this was a this is like a big thing in like the zeitgeist for a while and huge word i just pulled out no big deal we've had people everywhere working overtime trying to like figure out how to stop y2k from happening or if it even was going to happen i mean i don't know why they couldn't just like put the computer's date forward a few years and then see what happened but what do i know so a lot of people were freaking out but spoiler alert the kids were adam and eve the whole time no spoiler alert nothing happened we're all we were all fine the worst thing that happened was like some vending machines in australia stopped working which i mean could feel like the end of the world if you're really craving a snickers bar you know or sorry a snickers pie might like i said earlier i was five years old when this happened so i didn't fully understand it i do remember my neighbors throwing like an end of the world party that my parents went to so luckily there were people who didn't actually think this was gonna happen you're filling up your car because of y2k not at all not worried why are you filling up your car out of gas and obviously news reports about y2k only fueled the fire we've seen what bad news reporting can do some people were like fully convinced that y2k was a real thing and just like the movie 2012 did in 2009 the pax tv network aired a special called how to prepare your family for y2k and it is a trip so i thought it'd be fun to take a look back to the beautiful year of 1999 and see how people were preparing their family for the apocalypse that never happened so the video starts with a host doing a voice over about how there's tons of natural disasters that occur all over the world every day but y2k is gonna be the worst thing that's ever gonna happen to humanity and i really like at the bottom where it says all copyrights acknowledged and they spelt acknowledged incorrectly because they put two k's instead of one which begs the question y2k [Applause] thank you thanks so much that's the video bye and that's the best joke i'm ever gonna make sorry i peeked now i peek even if i like have a kid one day not as impressive yo check it out this is my baby wow it's pretty crazy right i just like made a new life yeah that's amazing and look he's so happy he keeps laughing [Music] yeah you want to laugh yeah sure so you know y2k right okay let's keep going also i wouldn't i wouldn't toss a baby like that i would never do that i would chuck it as hard as i could i'm kidding i wouldn't do any of that have we become so dependent on computers that our society is at risk if they fail oh sir if you only knew the fact is during the past 30 years computers have taken over virtually every aspect of modern life each of these items and hundreds more are all controlled by a computer-based system called an embedded chip the truth is it would be hard to find a modern appliance of any kind that wasn't computer enhanced in some way man no not the hand mixer no it's the end of the world could you imagine like a post-apocalyptic movie where everything about the earth is the exact same except like stand mixers don't work anymore hey dad i'm hungry are those brownies ready yet i know i know all i gotta do is plug this in mix around the ingredients it'll be done in no time just hold on this summer get ready for a motion picture like you've never seen before [Music] from the producers that brought you the smash hit knowing comes a brand new jam-packed post-apocalyptic movie that asks the question hey dad why aren't you mixing those ingredients quickly i'm sorry i can't it's it's not working what [Music] what would you do if life as you knew came to an end so you're telling me that every single electric mixer on earth just doesn't work anymore sir it's really not that big of a deal well you tell that to my starving son over here who can't even eat his brownies because my arm gets too tired when i whisk the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients sir i'm sorry i had no idea oh were you here the whole time hey dad what are those son those are trucks full of whisks [Music] we gotta go now [Music] this goes all the way to the top mr president grab my hand mixer sorry to whisk you away like that okay i made that movie trailer as a joke but hollywood hit me up government and industry are doing everything they can to fix the problem but in the event they don't make it is there anything you can do probably not actually there is let's go okay so this is where we meet all the experts that are going to teach us how to survive y2k these are guys who are like they've like written books about it and stuff food water and shelter if you cover those everything else is secondary but those are the primary ones you've got to address nice uh glad they brought in the experts for that one [ __ ] i mean how could we have known that if it wasn't for this michael guy jeez food water and shelter i don't really know okay also another thing i want to touch on they say in this video that like panicking is bad like you shouldn't panic because that just makes everything worse some experts believe that panic could cause more problems than the problem itself but like people are panicking because you're making videos like this you know it's like if you made an instructional video about like how to make a the best burger and then at the end you're just like remember guys don't make a burger whatever you do don't do it but this is how you do it like people weren't even sure that this thing was going to happen and these [ __ ] people made a video about what to do when this thing actually does happen i believe we will have the declaration of a national emergency i think we'll have martial law by this time next year i don't think there will be new year's eve celebrations like we have seen them in the past because i think there will be troops in the street this is like watching the opposite of the titanic in the titanic all the characters think it's going to turn out all good but obviously it doesn't and the audience knows that from the beginning this is the exact opposite of that we all know it's gonna be fine but they're all freaking out like they're gonna die and it's so funny to think that all these like professionals talking about it like these guys have written books and stuff and they were all just [ __ ] wrong these guys were dead wrong about everything these guys for sure got in like a fight with their wives like on new year's eve for sure 100 because they probably forced their family to like hide out in a basement or some [ __ ] what babe i'm sorry i i straight up thought electronics was gonna stop i thought the world was gonna end oh you're pretty mad huh does this mean we're not gonna you know tonight oh buddy that ship has sailed i'll be upstairs using my battery-powered device that still works jackass oh y2k why also the person who uploaded this to youtube i kept in some of the commercials that played like during this program and they're just so good they're so goddamn funny [Music] on december 31st the world will celebrate an event that begins in one century and ends in the next millennium live only on pax tv the contrast is just so good and remember if you follow these steps you can survive the deadly series of events that will happen during the new millennium [Applause] it's the new millennium we're never gonna die so the next part they don't want to talk about um hoarding a bunch of water you know buying two liter bottles of pop and then just filling them with water once you're done drinking them and then you sort of just hide them around your house you know pretty pretty standard stuff i will say for the most part these tips are just like good for just any like emergency i'm not saying like hide two liter bottles of water around your house i'm just like they're saying it's good to have like a backup supply of water you know just in case something happens and not once did they tell people to stock up on copious amounts of toilet paper for no reason so if only they aired this when kovit was popping off we could have uh we could have saved a lot of poopy butts but i mean us big brain people had mickey mouse bidets anyway but amidst the rare instances of good advice in this video there are so many times when they say [ __ ] that just doesn't make any sense at all that brings us to the second of the most important basic needs items food but just having something that says food on the label may not be enough i i mean yeah yeah yeah man i've watched this video like several times and i still don't know what he means but just having something that says food on the label may not be enough like if i put a sticker that says food on a traffic cone that doesn't make it like an ice cream cone right you can't just eat it what the [ __ ] you talking about man i mean it is very funny to think that at one time he actually thought that like if you put food if you put the word food on anything that automatically means you can eat it you just [ __ ] walked around his house all day like this honey you wanna oh you know i don't know what you mean you're like uh i don't know what you're trying to say to me come on what what do you want me to add together so then they going to talk about how to heat your house and other survival tips which again are pretty basic like watching this i felt like they already had a video called how to prepare your family for an emergency and then when this y2k stuff started popping up they were like oh we could just we could just get a few bozos in here to say a bunch of generic [ __ ] and then we'll just wrap it up and put it out like a y2k video and make sure one of the professionals has mutton chops thank you yeah to survive the apocalypse you have to have hair here and not here i mean i'm in no position to be making fun of facial hair but i'm gonna do it also another thing i want to talk about in this video that's very weird like everybody in this video is is white like every every single person the experts the hosts the actors they hired for the b-roll like everybody and i just gotta say dude it kind of makes sense because hoarding supplies and resources all for yourself is historically a pretty white thing to do and then justifying it by saying stuff like you just never know or [ __ ] better safe than sorry i've seen it dude i grew up like i guess like lower middle class i would say but dude when i went over to my rich friend's house it's crazy their pantries and basements were like grocery stores like straight up like you know the the big packs of stuff you have at convenience stores they would just have those in their basement i was a kid and i got a gift card to steven's basement dude i'd be hyped he gets so much [ __ ] and it's also no coincidence that it was like all white people buying up the toilet paper last year you know cause we're all full of [ __ ] these whities are not tidy around the halfway point they start talking about how the economy is going to collapse because of y2k another of the key elements in any preparedness program is financial planning so their advice is to take out a bunch of money to have just in cash and also to just have a bunch of silver and gold i recommend a similar amount in gold and silver coins uh that'll protect you against anything that might happen just in case which is so [ __ ] weird man because like silver and gold they only have value when they're in a system that gives them value correct like if we all just decided that gold was worth like two cents wouldn't that wouldn't it mean that's just two cents now like if everyone was like you know what gold's ugly oh it's kind of [ __ ] lame i'm a dumbass i don't know anything about silver and gold unless we're talking about the pokemon games ao or should i say oh oh i just think if the world was ending people wouldn't be like ah well at least i got this shiny rock looks like i'm gonna be a-okay oh no oh damn i forgot there's no laws anymore damn it well at least it wasn't a big shark also they go off the rails so many times in this video i mean so do i in all of my videos but i'm not a cable tv production okay like in this video it constantly feels like they're trying to reach the word count on an essay they'll fill time with just whatever the [ __ ] they can like this scene they just show a house on fire for way too long [Music] another example they'll start talking and they'll kind of just trail off because these experts don't [ __ ] know what they're talking about and they'll just end up saying super generic stuff with zero substance you're talking about economic uncertainty the number one rule is diversification don't do any one thing with your money put a little in each area there's a great amount of wisdom when you talk about diversification in assets guys is the world going to end or not you're telling people to diversify their investment portfolios should i be worried or should i be buying low and selling high what the [ __ ] remember stock up on food and water because these are the end of days we're [ __ ] okay but also maybe invest in dogecoin while you're at it you know there's a lot of potential there we need to plan for our future okay so we're getting close to the end and they really saved the wackiest [ __ ] for last okay so they want to talk about how you need to stock up on a bunch of medication you know just in case and they said you might need to uh convince your doctor that you need more medication then they go on to say this but they have a right indeed they have an obligation to themselves and to their family to ask for extended prescriptions you may have to fight for them you have to threaten you certainly may have to beg in some cases in order to make that happen but if you live on prescription medication i would make sure you had three to six months of it at least just full-on advocating threats of violence towards medical professionals only 90s kids remember that you know when you ask your doctor you might have to convince them you know you might have to bag a little bit you might have to threaten them though maybe take him hostage slap him around a bit good time to a pipe in an old bathroom play a video of a little clown of him saying you know you know the stuff you do with your doctor hey doc i need some more medication okay well i can't do that it's unethical and honestly pretty dangerous given your track record [Applause] i'll kill you i'm sorry i said i'll kill you i'll straight up kill you if you don't give me my medication okay y2k is next week i gotta make sure i'm safe when the world ends so with all due respect the world ends i don't think you'll be worrying about your erectile dysfunction keep it down sorry keep it down i thought you wanted the opposite okay there's one more part that i want to show you guys it's right by the end they're talking about like the attitude that you and your family should have when dealing with the y2k crisis that never happened this guy patrick rogue he's talking about stuff and he just comes way out of left field with a bonker statement up to this point because it's computers and it's technological for the most part uh women have not had a big involvement in it on the family level and that's crucial for it to be fixed around the country you know it's kind of a mars thing it has to do with computers and time and dates and all of this and yet for it to really be fixed in a family it has to be addressed by the nurturing and mothering side patrick magic pump the brakes buddy patrick rogue you've you've gone rogue hey give me your badge and your gun on national television one boy just said women don't understand computers dates or time but since they're nurturing that's all they're good for they need to carry all the weight here it has to do with computers and time and dates so many people saw this and was like yep that's a good point yeah that makes sense what time is it what are computers and what day is it today anybody want to get nurtured raise your hand it's also so crazy and just mean and sexist to insinuate that women didn't understand the y2k frenzy when literally nobody understood the y2k frenzy right there's nothing to understand you [ __ ] idiots nothing happened we were fine it was for sure men that created all this panic around a problem that didn't even exist the first thing we have to realize is that this problem is entirely man-made man these women man they don't understand why 2k at all okay what's y2k um you know it's the the the dates the time you know the computers and not gonna work because of this because of the stand mixers and it's also the uh just give me my boner pills already man make sure you write food on them so i know i can eat them okay holy [ __ ] i think that's enough y2k prep for one day for the most part this video has some like good tips on like how to prepare your family for an emergency situation but honestly it's like 40 minutes of fear-mongering and just telling people to panic by for a thing that didn't even happen and i feel bad if people actually saw this in 1999 and like actually followed all the tips cause holy [ __ ] they just had two liter bottles of water just hidden all over their house they had labeled everything as food so they can eat it and then they threatened their doctor's life while being covered in silver and gold that's psycho behavior dude you're gonna spend new years in jail thankfully nothing bad happened at the turn of the millennium the internet was a-okay and it went on to flourish and become the most integral part of human and cultural development [Music] yeah or not you know and 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right talking about the world ending misery loves company you know press the subscribe button because uh as soon as you press the subscribe button you become a valued citizen of curtis town if you didn't know kurdistan is the best place to live in the world and i'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me it's the law yeah check the description for the things i do my instagram twitter my weekly podcast called vera really good my gaming channel my twitch tour dates going on tour that's crazy all right that's it i would stick around but i have to go unfortunately i have to dip myself in gold bye-bye [Music]

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 4,047,071

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtis connor, y2k, commentary, reaction, funny, comedy, end of the world, apocalypse, post apocalyptic, y2k video

Id: --CWTjd8rkY

Length: 26min 22sec (1582 seconds)

Published: Mon May 31 2021