How to Stop Overthinking Everything // Julia Kristina

let's talk about overthinking and this thing we do when we stress and obsess and worry about what might or could happen in the future or we replay or regret something that happened in the past let's talk about why this is happening and what we can do about it because getting stuck in overthinking and being distracted with overthinking is preventing us from being present in the present and it's also preventing us from learning and growing and moving forward in our lives and today I'm going to teach you about how to stop overthinking and an over stressing over worrying about things in the future and how to stop replaying and regretting things from the past stay tuned I think you're going to really like these tools and I'm going to share with you today if you're new here welcome to our incredible little corner on the Internet take a second introduce yourself in the comments section below subscribe to the channel so that we can stay connected I think the subscribe button is about right down here and if you are back again welcome back it is always so good to have you here either way my name is Julia Cristina and I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and the creator of the breakthrough coaching program of a master's degree in counseling psychology and I work to help heart center go getter men and women break through the crap that is holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more every day so overthinking this really is something that gets in our way and that can really hold us back when we are stuck in our thoughts it can cause decision paralysis where we don't actually make a decision because we are obsessing and stressing about what the best option is and it can keep us really stuck in held-back it can leave us awake at night thinking about all the things we need to get done the next day and how exactly everything is going to go and and how we need to make sure that we are on top of everything and we don't miss anything and we're over thinking about all that kind of stuff and essentially what overthinking is is our brains attempt to get control because our brains control because it equates control or this illusion of control to my brains don't know that control is just an illusion there's no such thing as full control but it thinks that if it can get control then it will be safe so it's part of our survival mechanism that things that it can predict the outcome that it can prevent anything terrible from happening then we will be okay but what our brains don't realize is most of the things that we are overthinking about are not real threats to our lives they might cause some inconveniences they might cause some outcomes that we don't like but they are not real threats it's our brain trying to get this illusion of control and so how do we deal with this how do we intervene with these overthinking thoughts to calm them down so that we are not basically missing our lives we're missing our present lives are missing being present now because we're constantly in our thoughts thinking about all of these things that are not really all that helpful to think about yeah planning and preparing and being responsible and and diligent are good things but there's a difference between that and being obsessive or paranoid or stressing about everything all the time and so what we need to do when it comes to future things when it comes to overthinking about something that could happen in the future like I talked about it's often about our brain trying to predict the outcome or trying to control the outcome so it can feel safe and so we need to take back charge of our brain and we need to ask ourselves what am I actually scared that might happen what am I scared about happening what do I think could happen why am i overthinking this why am i stressing and worrying about this what do I think could happen and oftentimes we don't even really know why we're stressed and worried we have kind of this idea that it could be a threat if it doesn't go our way if it doesn't turn out but like really what am I actually worried about and then to ask her is this an actual real threat if this thing that I'm trying to overthink in control with my thoughts doesn't go the way that I want it to is it a real threat to my life and 99.9 percent of the time it is not like I said it might be an inconvenience if it doesn't go the way that you want it to it might be uncomfortable if things don't go the way that you wanted to but it's not an actual real threat so asking yourself what am I really scared of here and is this thing that I'm scared of is it actually something worth being scared about so now if you're someone who really over thinks and over stresses about making decisions maybe it's every decision maybe it's only certain decisions but if you are someone who when you're faced with the decision and you don't know what the right answer is it means there's not a clear answer and it also means that it doesn't matter whichever decision you make you aren't either gonna get the result or the outcome that you want and then you're gonna look back and think that was the right decision that was a great decision but you can't actually know if you're gonna head if you'd made the good or right decision until you actually make this decision and get the result see how that works or your the the decision that you make is not going to turn out the way that you want it to and you're gonna think well I guess that wasn't the right decision but you actually had no way of knowing unless you actually made the decision but either way once you get to that result that you don't want then you regroup and you look at it and you learn and you grow from that and you make a different decision so so often we get stuck in this decision paralysis I'm gonna do a whole video on it because it is something that a lot of us get stuck in but I'll give you that little snippet to think about and to chew on for now and now we're going to talk about stopping overthinking things from the past when we stress and worry and wonder about what did happen what could have happened what we did do what we didn't do what we did say what we didn't say or what someone else did or didn't do or what someone else did or didn't say and when we are going around and in our head about that stuff we need to take a minute and we need to ask ourselves why why am I going around and around in my head with this what am I trying to accomplish what again am i trying to control it's so interesting that we can think that we can somehow control things from the past but often overthinking is an attempt to control or change something that has happened so asking ourselves why am i overthinking this thing from the past why do i why am i letting this habit continue because it is over thinking is just a habit we keep doing it because we keep doing it and asking ourselves is there anything I can do about this thing that happened and what am I worried about what at what's feeling threatened what's feeling insecure in me that I might need to deal with often the things that we ruminate about from the past are our hurts or wounds our insecurities within us that need to be looked at that need to be dealt with or maybe that we need to forgive ourselves for or maybe even forgive somebody else for the next thing to help us deal with overthinking from the past is what am I making this mean about me now and often we can get really confused with thinking about stuff that again that we did or didn't do in the past or that someone didn't did or didn't do to us and we can that impacts us in the present because we start to think like what does this mean about me now and we can get confused about that and so asking ourselves what am i making this thing from the past mean about me now and is that helpful is that true is that accurate is that what I want to be thinking about my self so at any given moment we get to choose what we think and how we think about ourselves and we can use the past and we can use that as a way to punish ourselves and as a way to keep us stuck and thinking that well you know I did this or this person did this so that's what it means about me that's what it says about me that's just who I am or we can say I get to decide today Who I am I get to connect with the parts of me the things inside of me that I want to connect with that feel good to connect with that I want to bring out and bring to the forefront of myself that's who I am not all this stuff from then everything that I'm choosing to connect with and now another thing we can do to intervene with this whole overthinking habit is to ask ourselves do I need to be over stressing over worrying or over thinking about this thing whether it's something in the future or something from the past and nine times out of ten the answer is going to be no but if by chance your brain comes in and it tells you yes yes you absolutely need to be over thinking and over stressing and over worrying about this thing follow-up question will over thinking over worrying or over stressing about it help you have better things to do with your time and your life then stressing and worrying and overthinking about the things that you cannot change from the past and things that likely won't happen in the future and if they do happen in the future you will be able to handle it to deal with it and get through it you've got a life to live you've got experiences to have you've got stuff to do and getting bogged down and caught in these thoughts are not helping so dealing with them stopping this overthinking habit using these tools and if you want more I something for you it's a free guided mindfulness exercise that's really gonna help you take a step back from the overthinking and not get so caught up in your thoughts it's a really powerful tool for that it's a ten-minute guided mindfulness exercise the link is going to be in the description below so make sure you grab that open it did I say it's for free make sure you grab that before you go subscribe to the channel share this video out and if you do will you please let me know because I would love to thank you for that because that means so much to me and like the video if you haven't already and if you liked it come and join my facebook group good for me group comm full of incredible men and women until next time take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 75,046

Rating: 4.9643512 out of 5

Keywords: Rafael Eliassen, Aaron Doughty, Julia Kristina, Julia Kristina overthinking, bestie, get past overthinking, stop overthinking, how to stop stressing and worrying, how to stop overthinking, overthinking, turn your mind off, how to control your thoughts, cbt strategies for anxiety, cbt strategies for negative thinking, How to stop stressful thoughts, how to not overthink, how to stop your overthinking, intrusive thoughts, self-doubt, shame, youtube therapist, shame and vulnerability

Id: gBSwQNxEeWo

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 22 2020