How to Know if You're A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

have you ever felt like you're really sensitive like you just feel things more deeply than a lot of the people around you or maybe even friends or family have said to you things like oh my gosh why are you so sensitive or you're just too sensitive and so you felt like this is a flaw this is something that you need to change this is something that you should be ashamed of well my friend if you have felt any of those things then chances are you are a highly sensitive person and I'm going to tell you right now this is not a flaw you are not broken and this is not something that you need to reject or be ashamed of ashamed of there are some things that can make being a highly sensitive person challenging but the truth is it is also one of your biggest superpowers so today we're going to talk about what does make it a challenge and what does make it your biggest strength because as it often goes our biggest challenges are often on the other end of the spectrum our greatest assets or our biggest strengths so we're going to talk today about how to own being a highly sensitive person so you can stop apologising for it and start celebrating it if you're new to me and this is the first time we're connecting my name is Julia Cristina and I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and an online course creator of a master's degree in counseling psychology and I work to help men and women get through the crap that is holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more every day and if you are a more sensitive person and you have felt ashamed of this and you try to hide this you try to pretend that this isn't you and you try to repress this all the time then that is really holding you back so we're gonna talk today about how to really just hone in on this one and how to really make it work for you instead of feeling like it is working against you and the truth is interesting fact they have also found a genetic marker for people who are more sensitive they found a genetic marker that suggests that there is a sensitive gene so it's part of who you are it's nothing wrong with you it's not a flaw and so learning how to really embrace that so let's get right into it and first of all we're gonna start off and talk about what makes this a struggle and as we go through these lists I want you to just take note of the ones that connect with you and chances are if you connect with most of them then you are a more highly sensitive person and learning how to just go with that and embrace that and be with that within yourself so we're gonna start off first with the struggles of things that can make it more challenging and even just the facts in general not all of these are struggles some of them are just facts it's just the way that it is and the first thing is that if you are more highly sensitive person oftentimes you need to take breaks during times when things are more overwhelming when life is feeling chaotic you actually just like need a time out you need a few minutes to yourself maybe even is it you just need to take it and maybe even do this automatically when you're feeling overwhelmed that you just like feel like you just go sit in the bathroom and take a few breaths or just remove yourself from the situation and go into a different room or you get out and go for a walk but when things are really intense you often just have this like huge urge not even just a desire but like this need this urge this like holy crap I got to get out of here I need a few minutes to myself that you're stimulant or that your senses are totally overstimulated and so you need to take a break the next one is when you have a long to-do list when you have a lot on your plate you often get really frazzled and can even get totally stalled and paralyzed so if that's ever happened to you where you know you have so much to do but you just sit there almost like staring blankly at the wall you don't know what to do you feel just like totally stuck and don't know how to get started don't know how to get going and just have a really hard time taking action when you feel like there is so much to do the next one is that caffeine likely has a big effect on you maybe it's that you can't drink any caffeine without getting really anxious of getting really jittery or getting really shaky or you can't drink caffeine past noon let's say even if you don't go to bed until 10 o'clock at night you can't drink caffeine past noon or two o'clock without it keeping you awake all night and just out of curiosity for those of you who are sensitive to caffeine if you do drink caffeine what is your cutoff time what is your cutoff time what's the time where you know I cannot drink caffeine past this time or I won't be able to sleep and for me before I had kids it used to be about 2 o'clock in the afternoon but now that I have kids I'm exhausted by the time I go to bed so there's not a lot that can keep me awake so now it's usually more around 4:30 or 5:00 in the evening that I can have cat caffeine but I'm curious to hear from you what's your time the next one is that you find that your senses can get overwhelmed really easily so you're sensitive to things like lighting like fluorescent lights or when lights are too bright and you know I am very sensitive to lighting I like lamp lighting way better than overhead lighting I can walk into a room and feel kind of just like Wiggly if the lighting is too fluorescent or just like too bright not bright as in like natural light like you don't mind bright natural light coming in but just like too many overhead lights and just it's too glaring and too overwhelming and so if you're sensitive to lighting if you notice that that you can walk into a room with really nice lighting and you just feel calm all of a sudden and another sense one of your senses that is gonna show up for this one is loud sharp noises so if you're sensitive to really loud sharp noises maybe like fireworks or big dogs barking right closely to you or balloons popping right in front of you that you don't just find it a little bit startling like you almost even find it upsetting that it's that it just it shocks you and it hits something deeper the next one around this sense is one is that you find intense smells really off-putting like not just like ooh that doesn't smell good but almost like it can throw you off emotionally if you smell a smell that it's just too offensive and then the other one is with our skin our so of touch we are very sensitive to touch and so fabrics on your body you're sensitive to that so for me I am really sensitive to wool I cannot wear a stitch of wool even if a sweater has 5% wool in it I will put it on and I'll just feel like I just don't feel good in it and I'll want to take it off sooner rather than later so fabrics and you know materials that are against our body even sometimes turtlenecks can feel a little bit like restricting and you'll find yourself wanting to like pull at the yank at the neck of your sweater if you're wearing a turtleneck when you're feeling you know more sensitive the next one is that you oftentimes get really uncomfortable around conflict or difficult situations and you even try to avoid them like the plague now the truth is most people and I'm not gonna say everyone because I can't speak for everyone but most people don't like conflict if you are more highly sensitive person you will do almost anything in your power to avoid conflict even if it's to your detriment even if you end up suffering in some other way you will just do what you can do to avoid conflict or uncomfortable situations do you ever find that are you if you are somebody who hates conflict leave a comment in the comment section below and say man I just cannot handle conflict I do not like conflict I avoid it at all cost the next one is you might have a really hard time coping when you are sleep-deprived and so you suffer some people when they're sleep-deprived they get tired and they're just like I'm tired for some among us when we are sleep-deprived we can get existential we can almost even sometimes get depressed or some of you might actually get really depressed when you're sleep-deprived and really just can't cope with anything that you will start crying and the drop of a pin or you will just lose it at the smallest thing when you're sleep-deprived you're very sensitive to the effects of sleep if you are more highly since a person the next one is that you find it really hard to switch gears at a moment's notice so if you're in the middle of something if you're in the middle of working on something even at work or at home or whatever it is and you're focused on that thing if someone comes up to your desk or they come up to noon they're like hey Julia can you do this thing or do you mind checking on this or I have a question and you almost even find it jarring like you find like you just get like yanked out of your state of focus and you find it almost even a little bit irritating like you're irritated that someone interrupted you because it's kind of thrown things off a little bit for you and you need a second to regroup before you can respond to them so that if you've ever experienced that I definitely experienced that and when I'm working at home and my husband's and we're in the same room doing work after the kids have gone to bed if I'm in the middle of something and hyper focus and he starts to talk to me he knows now and I've told him I find you know unkind of planned transition really just like it kind of throws me off and so if you need something from me if you can just say hey Julia and then just wait a second and I'll just finish up what I'm doing and then I'll be able to switch focus so just don't start talking to me right like just start going on about something because I won't even really be able to take in the information because I need a second transition so just getting to know these things about ourselves that we need a little bit of transition time before jumping even if it's just a couple seconds the next one is that you have a hard time making decisions that you often find yourself getting stuck in indecision that you just can't decide and you fear even making you really fear making the wrong decision even if it's something small like what kind of latte to get in the morning that you'll often find dr. Iams find yourself stuck or can't choose what to get on the menu at a restaurant it can be bigger decisions which is kind of understandable but even find yourself getting stuck in making smaller decisions and let us know in the comment section below what are some of the things the smaller decisions that you get stuck on that you're like I can't believe I get stuck on this but confession time I do it seems small but I find I have a heart often making decisions in these types of smaller situations the next one is that you often take things quite personally and this can be a really hard one that you often assume that if there's any kind of upset if anyone seems even a little bit off if a mood or energy seems kind of funky that it's because you have done something wrong that you overly blame yourself for things that are likely not even your fault but you take it on and you take it in and you feel like it is even if there's no actual proof the next one is that you hate failing and you hate making mistakes and you'll try to avoid them at all cost so if you've seen my video on perfectionism I'm gonna put it the link to this into that video below here that oftentimes people who are more sensitive are more likely to struggle with perfectionism that highly sensitive people really struggle with feeling or making mistakes because again not taking it personally feeling like if I've made a mistake it's not that I made a mistake it's almost feeling like I am a mistake or I am a failure and we have a hard time disconnecting ourselves from the outcome we think that if something didn't go right it's because there's something wrong with us not because we did something wrong or we haven't figured it out yet or we we haven't learned everything that we need to know we take it really personally so do find failure or mistakes really challenging and even try even even sometimes will prevent ourselves from doing things if that there's a decent chance that we could fail we will not let ourself you know sometimes if there's a small chance that we could fail we don't let ourselves try things because we want to avoid that feeling of I am a failure the next one is that you find it hard to when when plans change at the last minute so similar to that transition thing sometimes you have an idea of how something's gonna go and you've got a plan and you know what's happening and you've got it all kind of like organizing your you've maybe even played it out in your head and you can anticipate it kind of what's gonna happen you know in an evening out with friends or at some kind of event or something like that or just like how the day is gonna go and then something comes up out of the blue or someone changes plans or something unexpected happens and you're like I don't know what I can do I don't know how to handle this I I find this really like jarring I find this really just like upsetting and it's just it's thrown everything off that you find those last-minute changes those those kind of unexpected transitions a little more challenging than maybe some of the people around you the next one is that you need quiet to focus and get things done you are not one of those people who can take your laptop to a coffee shop and get work done that you need quiet you need no distractions you need focus because again not wanting anything to kind of come in there and like take away your focus so that you can just kind of get in your zone and stay in your zone the next one is that you really don't like violence on TV in movies video games that you find sort of you don't find violence enjoyable or entertaining that you don't like scary things and that maybe even if and when you do see things that are more violent or scary those images stick with you and you have nightmares and you kind of can't get that stuff out of your head it's not just like oh that was scary or Wow I got scared for a minute there you take it with you and you kind of feel it more deeply and you carry it with you the next one is that you have a hard time saying no that's a big one don't want to upset anyone don't want to disappoint anyone don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so now let's talk about the strengths let's talk about what makes being a highly sensitive person one of your biggest superpowers and this is huge and the first one is that you are polite considerate and conscientious you are just one of those people who people just like being around because you are considerate of other people's feelings you're just like those people will be like yeah like Julianne she's a good person she's polite she's caring she's conscientious the other thing is that you get a lot more out of delicious tastes and smells and maybe that's why you have a harder time making decisions even around things like choosing a a meal on the menu or a coffee which kind of coffee to get because you it's not just about having a good meal it's about that experience that you know that if you have a really good meal it is gonna be a really intense really amazing really pleasurable experience because all of your senses are just more sensitive the next one is that you actually work really well with others now there's a caveat to this one so you do work well with others because you're conscientious and you're aware and you're sensitive to like what other people have going on and other people's feelings and you're really considerate but at the end of the day oftentimes you do work better when you're alone but it's great because you can work well in teams and you are really good at working alone as well the next one is that you can feel other people's emotions oftentimes without them having to say anything that you know what someone's feeling that you you can almost just like feel that it's almost like palpable that you can sense when something is off for someone and and and you can be right there for them that you are just really sensitive to other people's stuff and along with this one as well in a group setting you can tell when someone is uncomfortable when someone is feeling kind of out of the loop when someone is feeling kind of like not super good in some kind of social situation that like a work event or a social event and you know what to do to help them feel better if it's inviting them into a conversation if it's pulling up a chair and like getting everyone to kind of you know move out of the way so that they can come in that you are really good at kind of bringing people into the fold you can sense when someone is feeling left out or someone is feeling unimportant or someone is just feeling just like not great in the social situation and you know how to bring them in you know how to root for the underdog the next one is that people trust you you don't even have to do a lot to earn that trust people just have this sense about you know those you know you've probably met more highly sensitive people those people you just know you just feel like I can trust them I just feel like emotionally safe with them and just there's something about them I don't even really know them that well but I feel like I can trust them and that's how people feel about you the next one is that along with this trust you are amazing at holding space for people's emotions and they find it easy to open up to you naturally so you are really good at holding the space for people you are really good at making people feel really valued and important and recognized for whatever it is that they're going through and this next strength is such a good one because you can tell when someone is being in authentic you just know you just feel it when someone is being fake or phony or manipulative you just know it which goes on perfectly to the next one is that you have a really strong BS meter you can read BS from a mile away and you might even have a really hard time you just notice you have a hard time connecting with people who make your spidey senses go up that you just feel this like internal sense of resistance towards people that you know are just being inauthentic they're being fake they're being phony they are feeding you a lot of BS the next one is that creativity art and music hit you at a deep emotional level that sometimes me maybe even commercials and make you a little bit weepy I have definitely gotten Wiebe and somewhat you know during the Olympics some of those Tide commercials they were amazing and I totally got choked during them if you know what I'm talking about let me know if you know what I'm talking about those Tide commercials over well I think it was last year or the year before I can't remember when it was but you know exactly what I'm talking about if you saw those Tide commercials during the Olympics that art in creativity and music you lose yourself in music you can put on a really good song and you can just totally lose yourself in it like you almost get transported to another place it's so powerful and its really can be it can be really therapeutic for you as well music can be a huge form of therapy for you when you are feeling down when you're feeling low and you're feeling the tough stuff in life that putting on a good song and just like losing yourself in an inspirational song a really uplifting song and it can actually just like lift your mood and make you almost feel like a different person that you're so sensitive to those types of things the next one is that you feel things at a gut level and oftentimes maybe even you make your decisions based on your gut your intuition is on point and as researchers so sociologist dr. Brennan Brown says our intuition is the place where our head and our heart meet so that gut instinct that intuition it is on point for you and oftentimes you really lean on your intuition when you're not sure what to do when things feel unclear that you really are good at checking in with that part and letting your gut guide you letting your intuition lead you the next one you're not afraid to think about complex and deep things that you're not afraid to go deep with stuff you're not afraid to really get in there that you're not afraid to ask hard questions you're not afraid to look at important issues you're not afraid to get deep in there that you oftentimes may even take strong stands that you really feel passionately about certain causes and they're willing to stand up and be brave and speak up about injustice because it is not just an issue a political issue it's a personal issue it's a deep issue and you find those things really important and just can't ignore them the next one is that you are really conscientious and really caring that you are really good at loving people that you're really good you're a really good friend you're oftentimes you know a really good parent you're a really good partner that you're really good at holding a space for people by making people feel safe and loved and the next one we are really good at being there for other people but the thing is with this one is that we have to really watch it because talking about being there for people and being caring towards people and really being you know that person that people can come to these are all really great things they're amazing superpowers but they can be used against us if we do not have healthy boundaries we have to have healthy boundaries that is one of the most essential things for a highly sensitive person is having really good clear solid healthy boundaries or because of these giant hearts because of your giant heart you might find that you can get overwhelmed and depleted and worn out by giving so much from your heart that you need to have healthy boundaries around that to be able to give freely but also not give everything so that you end up as a shell of yourself so having healthy boundaries for highly sensitive people is essential I have a download it's 25 ways to say no and it's a really quick little jump start way to start learning how to say no because chances are you have a hard time saying no if you're a highly sensitive person so these are 25 different ways just the script is right there that you can start using in your every day life which one of these connected with you but most let me know in the comment section below which one are you like oh my gosh this makes so much more sense I totally understand it I hope that you can see that this is a superpower that this is not a flaw that this is part of who you are and it's amazing and exactly how and who you are supposed to be thanks so much for being here share the video like it leave me your thoughts in the comment section below and come in join my facebook group good for me group.com full of heart centered go-getter men and women kind caring supportive amazing human beings until next time take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 189,727

Rating: 4.9344182 out of 5

Keywords: highly sensitive person, the highly sensitive person, dr. elaine aron about the highly sensitive person, being an empath, what is an hsp, what is a highly sensitive person, what is an empath, candace van dell, how to know if you're an hsp, how to know if you're a highly sensitive person, being a sensitive person, how to be less sensitive and emotional, how to stop being sensitive, highly sensitive people, julia kristina, julia counsellor, signs of a highly sensitive person

Id: KrjvYQs21Vg

Length: 24min 53sec (1493 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 07 2018