Mindset Shifts To Become 10x More Confident

their fundamental mindset shifts that confident people have had at some point in their journey that have allowed them to step into that confidence to step into who they are and allow themselves to be themselves without apologizing for that and today we're going to talk about what five of these mindset shifts are so that you too can start feeling a whole lot more confident and comfortable with exactly who you are now if you're new to me and this is the first time we're connecting my name is Juliette Kristina and I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and an online course creator I have a master's degree in counseling psychology and I will work to help men and women get through the crap that is holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more every day and these mindset shifts are gonna be huge for helping you like yourself in your life more and the first mindset shift that confident people have had is they have allowed themselves to stop waiting for permission or approval for every single decision that they make in their lives and that means permission or approval from anyone from their parents from their pastor from their therapist from their coach from their friends from their colleagues from the person working in the checkout at the grocery store that they seek out advice that they ask for thoughts and opinions and feedback and reflections but they take that in through a filter and understand that everybody is coming from their own perspective that nobody is an expert on them and their lives and so they take that information they take that feedback they take those suggestions they take that advice and they think about it and they sort through it and they reflect on it and then they decide which parts of it are congruent and consistent with what is important to them they take that information and then they listen to them cells they make informed decisions but they don't wait permission or approval they trust themselves they trust themselves to be able to make decisions for themselves and their lives and the truth is is because they also know that the person in most situations who's going to be most impacted by their decisions is them and so they take responsibility for those decisions they don't pass the buck by waiting for somebody else to give them permission or approval they listen to themselves and they trust themselves and they move forward with their lives the next mindset shift that they have had and this is a huge one and for some of you you might be there for some of you you might not quite be there you're still looking for the shortcut and what confident people know is that the shortcut is the long cut that there is no replacement for doing things properly for digging deep for doing the work for learning and growing and going through the process that we all need to go through to get to where we want to get to there's no shortcut there's no hack there's no easy button the shortcut is the long cut because what a lot of us do is because okay sidenote the long cut and going for the long cut and doing things right is oftentimes uncomfortable it's difficult it can be painful it's not easy that's for darn sure and so in our attempts to avoid that discomfort to avoid that pain we go from short cut to short cut to short cut we spend all this time trying to avoid any kind of discomfort by trying to find the latest hack the easy button the short cut we end up wasting all of our time going from short cut to short cut and that becomes the long cut we take all this time and we don't really get anywhere doing it right going through due process doing the work getting uncomfortable the long cut is going to save you time and people who are confident know that they can handle things that are uncomfortable they know that they can deal with stuff when crap hits the fan that they can do the work they can do it right they know that the short cut is the long cut and they also know that as they go through it and as they do it they will get more confident as they learn and grow and as they expose themselves to things and as they push their own boundaries and limits as they let themselves expand they will get more confident they let themselves be awkward and uncomfortable and weird at the beginning let me tell you when I first started doing videos and they look back now and I'm like holy cow and I was so uncomfortable and I was so insecure and I thought I needed to be this therapist and talking this really soothing therapist voice to be this person that I thought I needed to be instead of just being myself but I had to go through that process I had to be weird I had to be uncomfortable I had to kind of pretend to be somebody else at first to realize that the only person I can be is myself and I had to go through the discomfort of learning that of letting ourselves suck and be uncomfortable and go through it and get weird it's okay to let things get weird and confident that people know that but that's part of the process the next thing that confident people know well and this is fundamental why not me and they know this we look around and we see other people doing things and we see other I've ever done that let me know in the comment section below you ever looked around at somebody else and been like oh my gosh look at that person doing that or look at that person going for that or look at that person you know pursuing that or working towards that you know Who am I I could never do anything like that I'm not important enough I'm not fancy enough I'm not good enough have you ever felt that way what is it what is it that you feel like you couldn't do let me know in the comment section below I want to know what you feel like you are not good enough to be able to do and my question for you and this is what confident people know why not me a lot of times we think like why me why do I deserve this why why do I think I can do this well why not you we're all just people anyone who has accomplished or achieved or gone anywhere in life has done it by working at it by trying by practicing by growing by investing themselves by getting messy by working at it so why not you okay maybe you can't do it if you're not willing to do the work if you're not willing to try if you're not willing to show up if you're not willing to get uncomfortable yeah then maybe you're not that's not for you but anyone who has gone anywhere in life or gotten the things that they wanted them out of life have put themselves out there and they haven't let that excuse of like I'm not good enough I'm not you know special enough or important enough spoiler alert none of us are we are all just people making our way in the world today with everything we've got and now you can sing the cheers theme song with me making your way in the world today takes everything I got and we all are doing it so why not you why can't you have healthy relationships or get the promotion or do the presentation or reach your goals or bring something powerful and meaningful to the world why can't you be successful write the book and give the talk do the thing start the business fulfill the dream why not you were all just people the next one confident people don't spend all their time looking at where they're not have you ever done that have you ever spent all your time looking at where you haven't gotten to and said but I'm not there yet I haven't achieved that I have it accomplish that so I can't feel good I can't celebrate I can't you know be satisfied I can't be happy yet because I haven't gotten there so they confident people don't spend all their time looking ahead what they do they do two things first of all they allow themselves to look back and say holy crap I've gotten so far in that line where I started yeah it's it's so far back there that it's almost a dot the line is a dot to me your friends band and you know exactly what that is but they look back and they allow themselves to see how far they have come and where they are and how much they've grown and they allow themselves to celebrate that each moment in their journey because spoiler alert it's not about the final destination there is only one final destination and once we get there we can't do it again it is only about the journey this is only about celebrating and recognizing and feeling good about where we are now what we're doing now how we're learning and how we're growing and how we're expanding and how we're failing and how we're getting back up now there is no there there is only here and confident people let themselves be here and feel good about where they are and they also look back and see and celebrate how far they have come yeah they absolutely have goals and dreams and things that they are moving towards but they are allowing themselves to be present and connected and happy and and and and and find the joy in the celebration in the process they let themselves say good for me the next one this is a huge one and one that I'm gonna say pretty much all of us struggle with or have struggled with at some point in our lives if you haven't amazing let us know your secret if you've never struggled with this but confident people allow themselves to not be liked by everyone they allow themselves to say if someone doesn't like me it's not because there's something wrong with me is because I'm not their preference it's because I'm not their cup of tea and if you think about it not everybody is your cup of tea you don't like and connect with and vibe with and drive with every single person that you meet it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them it just means they're not for you and that is okay in all honesty we are all if we allow ourselves okay if we allow ourselves to show up as who we are and we don't hide and dumb ourselves down and you know like put on these walls and pretend to be something else and and people please and pretend and and and try to just like be perfect all the time if we are actually being ourselves we are going to be deal-breakers for some people and we are all also absolutely going to be deal makers for others so let yourself be a deal breaker for some people let yourself be a deal breaker for some because that's going to allow you to be more of a deal maker for other people it's going to allow you to be more connected with other people in genuine authentic ways if you are being yourself and getting that if someone doesn't like you it's not because there's something wrong with you it's cuz you're just not for them and that is oh okay I'm not perfect you're not perfect and that's just perfect and I'm a deal breaker for some people I totally get that and that's okay some people are not gonna connect with the way that I communicate somebody aren't people are not gonna resonate with what I teach and how I teach they're not going to like it and some things that I do they are not gonna like and some of those things are gonna be deal breakers and some of them aren't and again some of the things that people don't like about you they might not like them it might kind of you know not be their favorite and some of those things might not be deal breakers and may just be like you know what they'll get that you know none of us are perfect and I don't love it about that person but I still love all these other things about them and I really care about them and we have a really good relationship and they don't have to be perfect and if they're not perfect it's not necessarily a deal-breaker but sometimes yeah some of those things are deal-breakers and that's okay it's okay for other people to be deal-breakers for you and it's okay for you to be a deal-breaker for some one else I'm a deal-breaker for some people are you let me know in the comments section below if you are ready to allow yourself to be a deal breaker I have a new download it's my favorite healthy reminders things that instead of you know positive affirmations and I've done a whole video about why positive affirmations are kind of a load of crap and you know put the link to that but it is a list of healthy reminders things that I like to remind myself of that keep me grounded that keep me feeling good about Who I am and where I am and what I am right now I'm gonna put the link to that below you can grab that download I think it's my seven favorite healthy reminded of five or seven I can't remember right now but that will be below you can grab that let me know which one of these mindset shifts connected with you most which one are you ready to take by the horns are you ready to tackle are you ready to allow yourself to step into like the video share it out leave a comment subscribe to the channel that's the other thing I was gonna say subscribe to the channel come and join my facebook group good for me group comm full of perfectly imperfect men and women see you there take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 77,078

Keywords: Get More Confidence, Simple Happy Zen, Apollonia Ponti, Confidence mindset, Boost self-confidence, Confidence and self-acceptance, Powerful mindset for confidence, how to become more confident, how to boost your confidence, how to build self confidence, how to boost self-esteem, how to love yourself, how to accept yourself, how to shift your mindset, own your confidence, be fierce, how to like yourself, Julia Kristina, mentally strong, mental strength

Id: 5FHkBoM5BIE

Length: 15min 14sec (914 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 31 2018