How To Restore Broken Relationships - Episode 2

this program is brought to you by the partners and friends of creflo dollar ministries coming up next on changing your world honoring people should not be a struggle all the time it may start off a little challenging but it shouldn't stay that way honoring people should come to a point where you delight in it i am so happy to honor you i'm so happy to congratulate you i'm so happy to see that god blessed you with a new car and i don't have to choke around and say you got that know why the lord didn't bless me i pray just as much as you do creflo dollar ministries tv app brings you live church services direct to your smart tv and much more you'll also get access to changing your world network streaming grace messages and exclusive content 24 hours a day right in the app get unlimited streaming through roku amazon and apple tv absolutely free visit your app store download the creflo dollar ministries tv app now to start streaming for more information visit creflowdollarministries.org this is your world so let's vow to make it a better place let every heart that needs to know is [Music] i am realizing that a lot of mistakes of my past were because i didn't know enough and a lot of times people are wondering why is my life going like this you don't know enough you don't know enough well i did all i know to do you know maybe you didn't know enough and i learned the more i spent time with god and i spent time in his word i began to understand more than what i understood before and people don't want to hear that i don't know what it is about everybody being an expert in the bible and everybody being an expert in life all right so watch these scriptures uh philippians two verse two and then niv he says then make my joy complete by being like-minded having the same love whoa the only kind of love i know that we can all have in inequality is agape having to like having a like mind and having the same love being one in spirit and being one in mind verse three do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit rather do it in humility bowing in the knee to god in his word value others above yourself that's big that's big as christians are we practicing valuing other people above ourselves that's big be careful when you say amen to that because that's big that challenges you that causes you to grow and mature more when you begin to think i want to i want to value people more than myself and then it says not looking to your own interests but each of you the interest of the other he says it's going to be very very difficult for you to value somebody above yourself if you're looking at your own interests that's bible right there ladies and gentlemen and if we believe in it then let it minister to us and let it challenge our lives look at romans chapter 12 verses 9 and 10 in the nlt this is so cool don't just pretend to love others i mean you know how many you know there's a level of phoniness that's in the church how many you know that church people have perfected phoniness how many of you know that anybody that's saved can pick up phoniness and i don't know why people act phony like nobody can't pick it up you ain't even got to be in the spirit to pick up some people's phone in this hey you're coming back for a concert tonight i'm gonna try that's an honest lie you ain't coming you ain't coming he says don't just pretend to love others see that's when it gets just kind of sour it's like when you when people just pretend they don't ever graduate to the genuine he says don't just pretend you love others really love them hate what is wrong hold tightly to what is good really love them verse 10 love each other with genuine there it is again he's saying get rid of the fake and the phony god bless you brother i love you no stop it don't pretend don't the bible if you look re-examine the new testament it constantly talks about fake love don't love with fake love love each other with genuine affection take delight in honoring each other honoring people should not be a struggle all the time it may start off a little challenging but it shouldn't stay that way honoring people should come to a point where you delight in it i am so happy to honor you i'm so happy to congratulate you i'm so happy to see that god blessed you with a new car and i don't have to choke around and say you got that know why the lord didn't bless me i pray just as much as you do delight in honoring each other that's so powerful now this is real jesus stuff i'm talking here now this ain't no religious stuff you know religious stuff this is jesus stuff this is for people who say i am i am ready god i i i know you've given me all of you but is there something that i need to do to make the adjustment so all you've given can begin to flow through my life and i believe that's why we're going to see the power of god like never before because the character sealing has been lifted glory be to god and then uh first peter 4 8 and the amplified first peter 4 8 in the amplified and then i'll move a little quick quickly or it's going to be the fourth week on this uh the amplified says above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another whoa this is serious i mean how do we skip all of this instruction about our loving character and proceed to believing god for the supernatural and proceed to oh i think god's gonna do this and god gonna do that god gonna do it he's like dude y'all ain't even y'all don't even have the foundation basic understanding of how a relationship needs to be going so i can flow through it and then you get married and time i don't understand that's cause you didn't understand and when when you had opportunity for friendship that's because you never developed a relationship with god in a relationship and so you know we're we're constantly trying to counsel and fix marriage relationships i don't know taffy when the last time somebody made a counseling session with me to counsel about a broken friendship or when was the last time i had a counseling session made with me to talk about a broken relationship between god and them it's always trying to counsel through marriage while we rebel against the instructions that god gave us in preparing for marriage if you would do what he tells you to do with those first two relationships you would hardly need marriage counseling why because you've developed the character that's equipped enough to carry on a great marriage and enjoy this gift of marriage i wish i would have known what i'm telling you i wish i hadn't known that 40 years ago thank god i know it now so look at this scripture he says above all things have this is the word that got me intense and unfailing love which means my love shouldn't fail for you now there may have been something that might have bruised me it won't fail give me time it won't fail give me time for one another for love covers a multitude of sins it forgives and it disregards the offenses of others that's where god's trying to get us and if we can get to that place then you are going to walk in the presence of god like you've never walked in before before you ask he's going to answer while you're asking he's going to answer why why when it when it started hurting it's going to be healed at the same time you you you can't help but to walk in the presence of god god is love and when you're walking in this that love now is becoming a part of your life and god's becoming a part of your life and his presence is becoming a part of your life in let's go to the second one now the second action to building and dealing with conflict and relationships so the first one love is the starting point love is the starting point okay you got that everybody good with that those are you at home you got it just say yes i'll hear you okay good now it's number two encouragement all right this is big now encouragement relationships that have conflict encouragement now why would i mention encouragement because a major problem that relationships is criticism criticism a major problem that retards relationship criticism positive encouragement will always be better than negative criticism positive encouragement will always be better than negative criticism now i wanted to kind of like just move on from that and just go to three and i just heard this in my spirit now you need to know why people are critical you need to know why why criticism retards relationship you need to you need to really look at your critical season of your life where you were very critical about everything criticizing anything that happened it was taffy's fault i never forget an argument we was having coming from church i said well if you did this then that wouldn't happen it's your fault i would never it was not my fault it's you i mean i almost felt demon-possessed when i said that it's you and and understand something there are reasons why people criticize you want a few of them there are reasons why see if you can find yourself in some of these number one people criticize because you know they feel like they have to be in control they feel like they have to be in control so they become critical of everything else here's another one your criticism of others is a reflection of what you do to yourself in other words let me say that again i apologize i'm going too fast your criticism of others is a reflection of what you do to yourself when i talk about the reflection i'm talking about your inner voice and the dialogue that you have within you is critical and so when that inner voice that you hear is critical and that the dialogue you have with yourself is critical it's no wonder you you are are criticizing other people because it's a reflection of what you do to yourself here's another one you think your way is right or the correct way and when you think your way is the right way and when you think your way is the correct way then you don't think there's any other way but your way and so you become critical of other people because you think your ways the right way number four being critical of others helps you feel in power and it helps you feel like you you're dominant by forcing on others or excuse me by focusing on the weaknesses of other people and focuses on the shortcomings of other people so what happens is your you criticize other people because it helps you feel power it helps you feel like you're dominant while you're while you're actually focusing on the weaknesses and the shortcomings of other people so by being critical and you're focusing on their weakness you're focusing on their shortcomings it it makes you feel more powerful it makes you feel dominant and that's the problem with marriage relationships that are not based on equality is that you got this guy who's a husband who's heard that he's supposed to be the dominant force in the marriage and he ends up criticizing a wife for everything uh only to cover up his weaknesses and so the problem is we never get to deal with his weaknesses i'm gonna deal with it in this series but we never get to deal with his weaknesses we never get to deal with a man covering up his wounds and hiding his his idiosyncrasies and his his problems under the cover and he's afraid that somebody gonna find him out one day because he doesn't feel like he can reveal what the real problem is his problems of rejection his weaknesses his situation so in order to cover it up you become critical in order for me to cover up my wounds i was critical of taffy so that my weaknesses would not be revealed so that i could feel like i was dominant and as long as i and as long as she let that happen it was more of a deception to me and it wasn't helping me be what i need to be but everybody was trained in church that's just how it is and and get this and woman don't say nothing what the heck if she don't ever say nothing how you gonna find out how stupid you are and some women tried to do that until they got pushed to the wall i got to say something and then it didn't come out right and you use some very colorful metaphors here's some other reasons why people were are critical you you doubt your value and you doubt your worth so you criticize others before they have a chance to criticize you you doubt your value and you doubt your worth and that's what a lot of husbands i meet a lot you you would not believe the the men that i've had a chance to talk to that have serious issue value issues about themselves worth about themselves something that might have been said by somebody they admired 30 years ago has affected them all the way up to right now and so i can i need to criticize you before you criticize me before you have a chance to criticize you before you have a chance to to criticize me i got to criticize you so i didn't want to just run through this it re all of this will a relationship it'll a relationship or a friendship i mean you look at what happens if if you become that critical with friends they're not going to be calling you the calls are going to get little to none ain't got time to be talking somebody's going to be critical of me and yet you find yourself using that weapon to protect yourself there is again let me protect myself by criticizing my wife criticizing my friend criticizing my church anytime you see people criticizing something there's an underlining issue there's always an underlining issue people tell on themselves just by i mean when they open their mind listen when somebody open their mouth and say i'm a fool believe it believe it but so likewise you start understanding when when people get angry when folks cut you out when people are critical there is an underlining issue and if we as people of god can understand that hopefully it makes us more patient with people to say okay let me let me give them some time and um they obviously they might have meant it they didn't mean it but by pure fact they said it there's something behind that so until we can get time to talk about it to find out okay so what's behind the criticism let's do y'all know people or ever met people that are just every sentence is critical and it's like man what's up with this dude i'm trying to i'm trying to agape him but now i want to knock him criticizing has become a bad habit and so you don't know how to relate and get attention any other way except for criticizing so another reason people criticize is to get attention it's the way you've had it's the way you connected with people in the past it's the way you've connected with others talking about others comparing yourself amongst us complaining amongst others criticizing it's it's it's the only way you know to to to connect and so you might meet somebody that's new and the first thing that happens in your in your relationship or fellowship is being critical because they've always done that and and that's their way of getting getting attention they don't know any other way to get attention except by being critical of other people being critical of others keeps people from getting too close so i can be critical of you because i don't want you to get too close to me i mean you feel more protected and less vulnerable when you can just criticize other people are y'all listening to me you worry about what people will think of you and you try to protect your self-image so you criticize because you don't you're concerned about what they think about you criticism distracts you and helps you avoid how you really feel you know you might be scared you might be under stress you might be under pressure and so it's easier to be critical and i'm going to tell you something when you are scared when you are scared and under pressure and stressed out you you just if you catch yourself you you you will find yourself being critical of somebody or something just to protect your own fears of worry about whatever you're going through you feel overly responsible now here's where i here's where i found me and when i found me there i'm like it's still critical here's where a lot of you will find yourself you feel overly responsible for others you think you are trying to help and you think your feedback is necessary to help guide or facilitate their growth and so you kind of use it trying to be smart and it's still being critical it's still being critical you can inspire people to get better without being critical of what they're doing i think that's enough y'all get what i'm saying here so i i believe that if you're going to restore those relationships you're going to have to understand that positive encouragement is going to always be a lot better than criticism look at these couple scriptures ephesians chapter 4 verse 29 in the niv ephesians chapter 4 verse 29 in the niv i think one of the things that will begin to help us in this relationship and this grace-based relationship is that we just slow down and talk about stuff like this in church that that uh you know by you hearing this and that i'm spending time and i'm going through practical things about it and giving steps to this hopefully is it's going to help out and so when you read scriptures about treating one another right and all this other stuff hopefully we break we had an opportunity to break it down a little bit more to say oh that means do this and apply this and put that here and to do that okay i'm pretty cool i'm kind of deliberate from having to you know be real churchy to try to get people up i i'm pretty deliberate from having to do something to get let's get them to shout let's get them to dance and i've i've seen that for 40 years i've seen them shout dance and then those same people shouting dancing screaming and falling out ain't even saved no more so i figure we just need to talk and make sure you understand what's being said that we need to plant something in your hearing so when you get home maybe you'll dream about it and rehearse it look what he says here he says do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen that sounds like criticism to me he says speak things that'll build somebody up that sounds like encouragement to me speak things that'll bear them up instead of speaking things that'll tear them down let let let them let them be a hearer of grace things that'll build them up think twice it's going to be a lot easier to criticize and be critical than it is to be encouraging and discipline yourself in being an encouragement and not operating the thing of you know i'm just going to tell you and sometimes it can be passive being critical passive you know like well you know uh yeah praise the lord but you know you kind of did that yourself last week uh you know i just want to bring that to your attention no the bible says speaking the truth in love that's cool we speak the truth to one another but then one of the steps here is to respect people you know what that means here's my simple definition for respect be concerned about how people feel wow let's look at one more scripture and now go to the next one colossians four five through six in the nlt colossians four five through six and nlt so i'm giving the practical but i'm following up with scriptures to let you know this is all biblical i'm not sitting up here and just blowing these psychological therapeutic truths through your brain i'm showing you it's in the bible and here it says live wisely among those who are not believers okay that's that's interesting because as somebody that's not a believer of jesus christ you know what's going to determine whether they ever become a believer of jesus christ time with you you want to you want to be a real soul winner time with you because if you preaching something on your sunday morning and then when they spend time with you on thanksgiving oh i ain't doing that did you hear what he said at thanksgiving table he doing what we do you look at him he says so like he says he says for those who are not believers and make the most of every opportunity the most of what being a living epistle that they read you they're not reading the bible unbelievers are not reading the bible they're reading the living epistles they're reading you they're reading your life they're reading your conversations they're reading how you carry yourself they're reading you look at the next verse he says let your conversation or your lifestyle be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone even those who are not saved and so when you look at this is your life attractive when people look at you as a christian is that attractive because when they look at your life and it's not attractive if you're working so hard to be worldly and people just freak me out well i'm gonna be like them so i can win them in christ that ain't what he meant do you want relationships that won't crumble and can get through the difficult times in life in volume one of his life altering series grace based relationships creflo dollar takes you on a journey to discover the key relationships that matter most the foundation for successful relationships and how to see god's favor on your relationships choose your friends carefully choose a friend that will help you grow in your relationship with christ to be a good friend it starts with a good friendship with jesus it's important that the people you choose to be friends with make jesus their first priority the three or four friends you hang around will have the potential of enhancing your relationship with jesus or corrupting your good habits all four insightful messages of grace-based relationships volume 1 can change your life today for a love gift of only 25 u.s dollars or more plus shipping and handling go to and click estore or call the number on your screen to grab yours today download and stay connected with the changing your world podcast with creflo dollar keep the word of god at the forefront of your mind with these powerful and uplifting messages whether you're in the living room the bedroom the car the garage i just pray the presence of god will just sit down on you right now praise god from whom all blessings flow with each message that you download and stream you gain revelation of the fullness of god's grace it's your season this is your moment this is your time you're going to bring forth you're going to grow you're going to flourish the changing your world podcast brings you life-changing wisdom right at your fingertips no matter where you are subscribe today on apple podcast spotify or your preferred podcast platform [Music] i pray that this broadcast blessed you today i want you to pray about sowing a financial seed into this ministry i also want to extend a special thanks to those of you who have remained our loyal partners supporters and friends your financial support goes a long long way your donations help equip us with what we need to send this broadcast all over the world and when you give to this ministry you partner with us to reach people everywhere who are hurting and in need of the revelation of god's grace and love if god has placed it on your heart to support the vision of this ministry to reach the world with the gospel of grace you may call in to make your financial donations or log on to creflodollarministries.org god bless you [Music] [Music] [Music] thank you partners and friends your love and financial support makes it possible to bring this message into millions of homes all across the globe [Music]

Channel: Creflo Dollar Ministries

Views: 4,864

Rating: 4.9594593 out of 5

Keywords: creflo, creflodollar, worldchangers, taffi, taffidollar, grace, megachurch, collegepark, atlantachurch, sermon, gracelife, tbn, pastors, church, pastordollar, drdollar

Id: IJkQTCm5-vk

Length: 28min 31sec (1711 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 20 2021