How To Restore Broken Relationships Pt.2 - Sunday Service

now that everything that concerneth you is well everything that concerns you is whole amen and all is well and that's what we need to begin to say to the devil listen devil it's all it's all good in the hood you understand it's all well if you know if you're if you're at home and you're you're sitting by a husband or wife or even your children turn to them and say to them all is well now i recognize in the natural natural circumstances may not be well right now but faith is well it's it's well right now by faith in jesus name you know god has this uh method of operation his mo is it's got to be spoken first before it comes to pass if you'll read the bible you'll start noticing something was said first and then you see god bringing it to pass if you're sitting back waiting to see something manifested and it's not manifested yet ask yourself a question has it been spoken has it been released has it been said he said let the redeemed of the lord what say so and so that's that's what we want to get in so say it praise god and hold on to it and believe god amen father we thank you for this another opportunity to minister to these your precious sheep thank you lord that revelation knowledge will flow freely uninterrupted and unhindered by any satanic or demonic force and father i pray that you will speak through my vocal cords and think through my mind none of me and all of you it's in jesus name we pray and everybody said amen if you have your bibles uh go with me to proverbs 17. uh those of you who are streaming in go ahead and hit that share button wake somebody up and tell them they need to get up and hear this word listen i promise you you know most problems that take place in life derive from relationships and relationship issues and not just relationships and marriage but relationships and friendships and today i'm gonna address some very interesting things uh i had no idea that we would still be on this i thought i could do this in one sunday but when we start letting people back uh a little time it don't take but three people in here and then the anointing show up that's different than than preaching to the chairs i'm gonna tell you that right now y'all don't know my whole life has changed i can see people themselves hadn't said amen to me in a year and three months them chairs ain't saying nothing to me they won't look at me they won't do nothing and i tell you welcome this morning what a joy thank you guys welcome to everybody that's uh logged on and streamed in your commentary and your comments have been a blessing as well and uh all is well amen now let's begin again and then you believe with me today that we're gonna we're gonna finish this part cause i got a lot more i need to talk about amen uh proverbs 17 17 in the niv the nlt and the message now what are we doing here we're talking about grace-based relationships grace-based relationships and and we're having to start at the root of relationships so that once you get married or in any relationship it'll work as god has designed it to work relationships will work if we follow the design that god has given to us now there are there's there's there are two things we have to know as christian people we've got to understand why god wants us to to to have a good relationship with him and then have a good relationship with one another so then when we get married we take all of those things that we've learned in those two previous relationships and we can enjoy what god meant for marriage to be total complete enjoyment but now here's what you got to understand the primary priority relationship is man's relationship with god and that's the one that over the years and generations have slowly kind of weakened that all of a sudden people don't think that having a relationship with god is important or vital where other relationships are concerned and especially in marriage you know you want to go and always seek you know you always have questions about marriage you seek counseling for marriage that's wrong with that but god is saying listen you keep neglecting the priority relationship and that's the relationship between man and god now the only way you're going to have a relationship between your man and god is through his word and so the next issue is okay i have a relationship with god well do you have a relationship with his word well no but i know god no you don't that's that quit quit fooling yourself if you don't have a relationship with his word you don't have a relationship with god in the beginning was a word and the word was with god and the word what was god and is god and today people are trying to have an emotional relationship with god but without the word you you don't have a relationship with god see the supernatural is is connected to the word of god when there is no word there can be no supernatural and so we're expecting supernatural things to happen from god and it's not possible it's not possible without his word you have to have a relationship with his word in order to be successful in that priority relationship with god so that's that's so important and so in in gaining a relationship with that word this past wednesday we talked about is membership biblical or not and we found out that you just can't connect yourself uh to a body and not be a functioning member what does that mean that means if my hands is connected to my body but it's not functioning as a hand then you know what you're doing there that's called deformity why are you not doing and functioning like you need to function and so your membership your time with god all of that's going to determine the kind of relationship you have with god but please hear me you don't have a relationship with the word you don't have a relationship with god there's a lot of things god wants to teach you in that relationship with him that's going to help you in the second relationship a relationship with one another and in the second relationship we've been talking about godly friendships people are trying to get married and they don't even know how to be good friends and you go in marriage come out i don't know what the problem is the problem is is that you bypass the godly friendship stage and you didn't know how to be a godly friend because you didn't have no relationship with god and so what happens i've spent the last three weeks talking about godly friendship because a lot of things that are established within that relationship of a godly friendship is going to now move on into your marriage i mean things like respect you learn how to respect one another it'll move in your marriage things like agape love which is unconditional love which means there's no reason to love you except that you know uh i do it because you are a bearer of christ i do it because you're you're saved and when two saved people get to get married there's no such thing as you did something to disqualify my love for you because uh as a christian i have committed to love you unconditionally without merit and so people who are in the church how is it that we don't know how to love each other in the church we love worldliness more than we love people in the church and jesus said that people in the world will know us by the love that we have for one another and so where is that where is that that demonstration of the love that christian folks have for one another it should be attractive when the world looks at us and they see the love we have for one another and the care that we have in the it should be attractive it should be so attractive that it draws people to want to to have what you have to receive that agape love and yet somehow another we've allowed the the way of the world to seep into the church and we we're treating one another like the world treats one another and we should not be getting anything from the world they should be getting everything from us amen so we've been talking about godly friendship and and uh you know i i i would love to review everything but i have i don't have the time so we've been talking about the seven actions to building better relationships not not while you're married but before you marry please understand if you don't those first two relationships get those down and marriage is like a gift from heaven but if you don't get those first two relationships down uh and then you get married it's like it's like a torment from hell and that's what some people's marriage is it's just like tormenting i mean i hear when they come in for counseling i'm thinking like i don't even know how y'all stay together i'd leave you want my advice go run run forrest run get away quickly this is a mess so we've been talking about restoring a broken relationship or a relationship that is in conflict a relationship in conflict and if you just hear what i just said that's a big piece right there do i have a relationship with god i mean you can be in a bad marriage right now but you can fix it do i have a relationship with god let me go get that do i know how to be a godly friend see before you married i would check out the friends of the people you're getting ready to marry and if they say to you i ain't got nobody you need to put you need to put a serious hold on that marriage because you know why you why you ain't got one friend no not one i just like being by myself that sounds like the characteristics of a narcissist okay let me back up just a little bit you you one lady asked me one time i don't understand why i keep drawing the same old kind of bad man and the answer's simple you're ignoring the signals you're ignoring the signs at the very beginning there are there are always signs that people will give you in the very beginning and here's the thing you need to understand if a person gives you a sign or says to you that i am a fool believe them don't try to sit back tomorrow oh now hallelujah the lord's gonna work it out hey i'm just gonna trust god and god gonna mold him and make him just like i want him if they tell you their fool you need to believe them at the very beginning so the problem comes because you're ignoring the signs that are being revealed at the very beginning of a thing and you know they're there but you're just kind of like oh i i i know they're there but i you know i can work through that and you know 20 years later you're like i should have listened amen and so the first step we looked at was love of course agape love and uh phileo love we talked about that being necessary for reconciliation and then uh i think it was last week we talked about encouragement and how the major problem that retards relationships is criticism and i gave you about eight or ten reasons why uh people criticize there's some there's some background on why people are real critical and uh then we talked about respect quickly at the end of service last week and how respect is just you know being you know being in a position where at least you care about how people feel it's like due regard for feelings and and and and their their rights and and their traditions and and feelings of other people and that's what we don't have in the world now we just got a bunch of mean people that are not considerate of how people feel uh somebody says well that sounds like my marriage well see that's because you didn't understand how to be respectful in a a godly friendship that now you don't know how to be respectful in a marriage because you didn't understand how god was so respectful of your feelings you know you didn't do it in a friendship and and so there's no respect where that marriage is concerned all right so i i believe that the the next pieces of this series are gonna really hit home so i want you to listen to me very carefully today as we begin this so respect was the third one second one was encouragement and the first one was love everything starts with love now today we're going to pick up with number four and number four is this accept responsibility accept responsibility now what does that mean you know if you want to to uh deal with a relationship that is in conflict you're going to have to get yourself in a position where you resp you accept responsibility now the bible shows that defensiveness which ultimately ends up in blaming defensiveness and blaming others for things that go wrong will stop a good relationship from forming defensiveness and blaming please understand that the result of being defensive is blaming a person is defensive because they use they use defensiveness as a self-protection mechanism so i am defensive because i'm trying to protect myself i i feel like you're you're about to be critical uh i i perceive criticism coming my way and so i i need to uh i need to defend myself even if it means come to come up with a uh an excuse so let me give you an illustration because i want you to really you know see this let's just say for example i say to my wife uh you know we're going over to visit uh my mother um and so uh i i get i get back home and i i i say to her no i i'll tell for example uh we're gonna take some time we're gonna go visit my mother and we're gonna do it at uh you know four o'clock and so i got home and she says well you know uh i thought we were gonna go visit your mother well you know i was busy and why why how come you couldn't just do it anyway and uh i don't see why you putting this all on me that's that's being defensive okay turn it around uh i thought we were gonna go visit your mother at four o'clock you know what i should have told you that i was gonna be busy today um uh thank you for bringing it to my attention uh i accept full responsibility i'm gonna call and see if we can go right now that's accepting responsibility for that see you see the two dynamics that are working here one of them is filled with a bunch of excuses that are designed to protect yourself and the other one is accepting responsibility which is designed to keep that relationship doing what it needs to do it is the refusal to properly evaluate our own condition or our own contribution uh to the conflict when you refuse to look at and check out your contribution to the conflict that's in every relationship that's in every kind of relationship you've got to check out no matter how small you think it was you've got to check out the contribution that you made in that conflict uh defensiveness is a way of blaming your partner uh you're saying in in effect the problem isn't me it's you and that's what you're saying in effect the problem isn't me it's you how many you know you can't keep doing that and keep godly friends the problem isn't me it's you and so first corinthians chapter 11 and 20 i'm looking through the word like where where can we find some scriptures to really to really lay this out this issue of accepting responsibility regardless of how small it is it takes two to dance let me accept the responsibility for for my part in it and uh verse 28 first corinthians 11 and 28 he says this and he was dealing with the lord's supper he says but let a man watch this examine himself let a man examine him himself are you consciously aware of how important it is for you to examine yourself you know what what's going on when you can you you can so easily find fault in other people but you never quite get to the place where you examine yourself and and he says even before taking communion examine yourself don't examine everybody else examine yourself and so let them then eat of that bread and to drink of that cup but i also found in galatians excuse me in genesis chapter 3 verse 11 12 and 13. in genesis chapter 3 11 12 13 adam and eve they have eaten off the the the tree and and have eaten the forbidden fruit and uh we're seeing if they're going to accept responsibility i wonder where we would have ended up have they just accepted responsibility all right and so in verse 11 he said who told you that thou was naked has thou eaten of the tree whereof i commanded thee that thou should not eat and the man said the woman who thou gave is to me with me she gave me the of the tree and i did eat look at the blame you know i feel like something's getting ready to happen here i feel like somebody's getting ready to be critical here i feel like i need to protect myself and so ultimately i got to find somebody to blame ultimately i've got to go to the point where i said listen the problem is not with me the problem is with you to the point where i'm saying no god i'm not the problem it's the woman you gave me that's the problem okay so you don't see a guy accepting responsibility that relationship's not going to be good next verse he said uh and the lord said unto the woman what is this that thou has done and the woman said it's the serpent that begot me and i did e see nobody's accepting nobody's accepting uh responsibility where you know so she you know adam blames the woman the woman blames the serpent and god was like dude if would somebody just accept response do you understand what happens in relationships when somebody accepts the responsibility i wonder what would have happened in the garden that day if adam would have just started and said lord my bad i i should have i should have been who you called me to be and i should have been in a more leadership position i should have opened my mouth and said something but i just sat there and and and my bad here's what i think would happen all of that stuff that happened when they ate of the fruit i believe god would have said over because in that what happened in relationships when people start accepting responsibility there's no need to continue on in conflict over i've accepted the responsibility to do that but when you're always feeling under attack and what is that when you're always feeling like you know it's not me i'm going to teach on narcissism it's not me but it's you then the relationship cannot flourish no way no how so finger-pointing and fault-finding only do what they magnify the problem when you finger-point and when you fought fine accepting responsibility does not mean taking all the blame for everything that's not what i'm talking about it means to sit down and with an open attitude examine the issue they may say something okay well let's let's talk about it okay yeah this right here yeah that's me this right here i i could have been doing better there and before you know it the other person's willing to do the same thing well i guess i could you know handle that with a little bit better attitude and before you know you're working through a thing how many ever ever been in an argument or a disagreement with somebody forgot what the real issue was and you start ending it up you start ending up talking about you the one you always you never okay see it is it is to accept when you're when you're accepting responsibility it is to accept personal responsibility for and to work to change those things that hinder building relationships and that works for everything and so the question i have for you are you first of all are you willing to accept responsibility or will you continue to communicate this message whether you you know verbalize it or not will you are you willing are you are you going to continue to to communicate communicate the message slow down on the side are you willing to communicate the message that i'll accept responsibility i'm not gonna say it's you it's me because in in every dance and every dance we can all take responsibility for the step i'm in that is if you're willing to set responsibility and and get get away from this self-protection deal well i feel like i got to protect me no god is your protection god will take care of you amen you got that those of you at home you got that now let's go to the next one i'm so excited because it appears like i just got through this one and didn't take 30 minutes to do it amen all right this is big this is big number five how do we deal with the conflict and relationships we got to deal with that um i call it breaking the deadlock what it really is it's also referred to as the silent treatment the silent treatment the silent treatment that can happen between friends relatives husbands and wives the silent treatment if you're not careful can be hurtful it can be traumatic i mean come on if you've ever been married before something happened you had the silent treatment and and the man goes through all kinds of dealings with his manhood because and a woman goes through stuff and and it can be devastating because when you're not talking satan is when you're not speaking the devil is when conflict escalates to a certain level people stop talking to each other and i mean church folks too church for i know church people who purposely sit on the left side of the dome so they don't have to see the person on the right side of the dome and god help them if they got to go to the bathroom at the same time stop talking to each other so what what happens is that okay is it okay i mean your friends first of all first of all you're christians all right then secondly your friends and always go back to first of all i'm a christian i always go back to first of all i have agape love see if you're gonna love them because they said something you didn't like or agreement that's not agape love agape love says that that that that you don't have to do something to get that love it's an unconditional love a copy love doesn't say it stops because you know you're a republican and i'm a democrat oh you're a republican oh that means you voted for him you're a democrat that means you you oh um i don't think we're going to be going we're going to be eating this weekend because cause you don't told me everything i need to know about you that is that's wrong and yet our entire nation including the church is divided because we don't know what agape love is you you've allowed that division to cause people to earn your love it's almost like you cease being the christian that god called you to be and that's exactly what's going on in the church you wouldn't the division that's in the church is big time i was at a i was at a uh in a speaking engagement last week and and the congregation was predominantly white and i just decided to break the ice i said you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go out there and kiss some of y'all on the cheek and then i'm gonna step back and look and see how you look at me and if you wipe it off and you just can't stand and you just do that and then i'm gonna kiss you again when you wipe it off because that's what that's what agape love is and we we it's like we forgot that we forgot that and we we join the world in this deadlock where we go through the silent treatment and so what happens is we we quit the church we move out the house we become irritated and then we avoid each other because we don't know how to handle the silent treatment i remember when taff and i would do the silent treatment sometimes we were going for days and then when we finally started talking and got it fixed i was so tired i know what to do i'm like this is exhausting this is exhausting just whatever you want to do cuss me good if you have to but don't don't don't be quiet don't do it silent quick you can't sleep you're bumping into each other and you depend on her for stuff and i couldn't find my keys and we weren't supposed to be talking and i said you seen my keys right here you've got to move from the deadlock to the dialogue you've got to move from the silent treatment to communication okay so this could always uh of course somebody says well now we're talking again and and when you're doing that it does have the potential for more conflict but good people with good motives who know christ need to talk good people with good motives who know christ need to talk but i don't want to hear this i want to talk about the third degree of prayer no you need to learn how to get along the issue with the church right now if we get so deep and we're ignoring the obvious what's the obviously we don't like each other no more i'm trying to show you how to get along when you come to church how is it i mean the church should be buzzing with the glory of god it should be a place where when people walk in they feel the unity and the love and it's not like that we we've exchanged the unity and the love for image building and selfishness and as we get ready to come back together i want us to examine this man i mean why am i going to talk about any spiritual gift if we don't even know how to have relationships not eddie murphy time but relations cleveland what are you talking about in relations we don't and i see that everywhere i go it's like we've perfected phoniness so much that we we we we know how to be a better phony than an authentic christian that god has made and you ask people a question you know hey how you doing this is the day the lord has made i didn't ask you all that that's all that it's okay for you to say i'm doing great or i'm doing fine or i'm blessed i don't need no two scriptures cause y'all don't know you you scare me when you come to me like that i'm like something ain't right here somebody right here i just asked them how they were doing and they started preaching to me something right here and we've got to learn how to be a good authentic christian that just make our mind up that you know you're not treating me right you're ignoring me you're doing all kinds of things but i will follow this love commandment and i will agape you no matter how you treat me because god knows that my agape towards you is going to keep this relationship going and i can't tell you the number of questions this is what i'm saying everywhere people are showing up like it's a show and don't even like each other and be talking about used to at least wait till after the benediction before you start talking about somebody but you'd be right there in church with somebody she thinks she cute that got that wig on no she needed a chin strap yeah got that helmet on and then you go but praise the lord we gotta learn how to get along you all right baby all right all right now look so so the the key is we we've got to start talking you got to learn how to talk how let me just this this is this is huge so it when i decide to break that whole silent treatment deal when i decide to you know get out of deadlock and to to to a dialogue first things first head first for common ground the first thing you talk about not not the fighting ground the common ground we're going to start talking we're going to talk about common ground stuff not the fighting ground stuff we're not going we're not going to start off right away we start talking the first thing you say is you know you was wrong that's not how you started off start with common ground here's what i know we've been friends for a long time and i'm not willing to let anything destroy that yeah me too and you you know i love you me too start with common ground not not fighting ground so sometimes to maintain the relationship this is so true it's true and marriage is true in in any relationship to maintain a relationship you've got to just learn how to disagree agreeably some things in a relationship you you know you know i'm a republican here's my view i'm a democrat here's my view and the views conflict you just got to learn how to disagree agreeably and and keep going on and and being friends because that that should not be the reason why that friendship stopped the relationship people must agree to disagree about their particular areas of disagreements and learn to work around things you cannot change learn how to work around things you cannot change you already know this is a sore spot in the relationship you've agreed to this to to to disagree work around those things and do what i mean what is it saying about you you really expect for everybody to agree with you seriously what there's that narcissism again i guarantee you look up the characteristics of an i've i've went over four of them right now who why would you even think that everybody should disagree with you or to agree with you and you're gonna have things like that in relationship you're gonna have things like that in marriage there's certain things that you know and and taffy's in our marriage we've had to put on the shelf and it's okay to put them on the shelf and and they may stay on the shelf for a little bit but i've recognized some of the things she put on the shelf i was able to take them down like i see you you were right and i take something yeah that was yeah i see that now and what you recognize is the changes that have taken place in you individually and how god has begun to work on the inside of you you know i was let me just step into the side for a moment i was i was praying uh this past week and i was asking the lord i said you know in our church services lord i thank you for signs and wonders and miracles and and and had been saying that for some while and then i i kind of paused and i said well lord you know tell me what what do we need to do for you know for the signs and and miracles and and see some of the things we we used to see and and i didn't hear anything and then when i got completely quiet and went on something else god says you keep trying to find the steps that will produce signs wonders and miracles and and do you not yet understand that all of that comes through the relationship he said it is the essence of your relationship with me that will cause these things to follow you you don't have to fulfill some quota to get it just continue to know me isn't that good and you know when something like that has spoken to you you know you know you're not smart enough to get that and that that that really really really blessed me and so let's look at a couple of scriptures here uh philippians chapter 4 verses two and three in the nlt talks about two women here and i just want you to see how paul was uh pretty intense about them resolving their issue he said and now i appeal to you yoda and uh sinici says please because you belong to the lord would you please settle your disagreement and i ask you my true partners to help these two women for they work hard with me and telling others the good news they worked along with with clement and the rest of my co-workers you look look at paul's uh situation he says you guys have done too much to allow this disagreement to remain so as friends could you please settle your disagreement and i'm asking you as members of world changers i'm asking you as a part of the world changers nation i'm asking e members and partners everywhere and you know people that are part of us settle your disagreement settle the disagreement don't let the disagreement go on do you understand the devil loves riding the wave of unsettled disagreements settle that disagreement and go do anything now look at this ephesians 4 15 and 25 in the nlt ephesians 4 uh verse 15 and then verse 25 in the nlt i mean paul is very serious about not allowing these deadlocks to remain breaking deadlocks and in verse 15 he said instead here's what we're going to do instead of the silent treatment we will speak the truth in love i mean who do you think you are not to speak the truth in love when you know it needs to be spoken you know the first part of this series i talked about how important it was in friendships for somebody to speak the truth you can speak the truth arrogantly you can speak the truth in a mean way you can speak the truth in a hurtful way but the truth spoken in love is going to bring about great deliverance what did he say he says we will speak the truth in love growing in every way more and more like christ growing in every way more and more like christ some people are not interested in good character some people are not interested in in in changing here we want everything else to change but here and and all of us have got to be committed to this transformation to line up with god's word where rel godly friendships are concerned growing in every way more and more and do it like christ who is the head of his body who is the head of church and then look at verse 25 what he says here he says so stop telling lies you know this is the same context where he says if you see something speak the truth in love so stop stop telling lies if that there's enough stuff that won't need a chin strap nutella you need a chin strap don't sit up and tell me oh that's beautiful that's just it just adds a lot to you not a friend ken and i were talking this morning you know when he first came to the church and you mind if i share this he first came to the church and uh he came to this he came you know he had this suit on but this part right here lapels all of them was gone it was like a suit with no lapels or nothing like that and i told him i said come on come here come here man let me i need to do me a favor and he been he said well you need i said now come here i need to do them in favor he said what i said don't ever wear that suit no more longs you live see the holy ghost will help you speak true i can't let my friend walk around with that kind of suit on i can't let that happen and then somebody else telling me like why you ain't tell me man but you do it in love you do it in love say stop telling lies i was i was doing the morning confession and i was making the confession that i was speaking out and you know sometimes you look at those comments they're hilarious and i looked at the comment one time some guy said creflo quit line he said that ain't in the bible quit line stops telling lies let us let us tell our neighbors the truth for we are all parts of the same body that's that's strong there's power you're seeing all of these scriptures where he's talking about relationships he's talking about how we ought to behave in the house of god and and as part of one another so the process of breaking the silent treatment involves talking and dialogue it involves talking and dialogue so you know i understand that you might need to take some time together kind of get yourself together but for two years that's too long don't do that as soon as you can resolve it the sooner you can be a blessing relationships are a blessing i like what bishop fuller says everything travels at the speed of relationships and we have got to learn how to do that as christian people we got to learn how to do that and the world begins to look at you when people go through the traumatic things that they've gone through through 2020 and in these last few months people are ready to hear inspiring good stuff that's going to make their lives better and guess who god's going to use he's going to use you that's where this revival is going to come from it's going it's not going to come from the pulpit it's going to come from all of you who know jesus and all of you who know about relationships and understand what i'm saying and then you begin to apply these things man people are going to get born again they're going to be getting saved y'all going to be out at lunch leading people to christ all kinds of stuff's going to happen because of the simplicity of the gospel and we're not using christian knees and don't nobody know what you're talking about and jerking and jiggling in front of unbelievers who don't know what's going on don't sit there at the table and like you know how you doing you're gonna scare somebody they're not gonna eat with you no more stop it you're gonna say let us pray over our food at lunch it's a demon you gotta stop that the only reason you're laughing is because you know exactly what i'm talking about there's an experience in your mind that you understand all right number six number six we've got a few minutes to go all right if you want to deal with conflict and relationship you've got to learn how to this is a big one manage your emotions you got to learn how to manage your emotions look at ephesians chapter 4 verse 31 and 32 in the nlt you've got to learn how to manage your emotions now listen to me carefully you manage your emotions and i mean when you hear this it sounds good but see this is the difference between going deeper in god's word versus just getting it from a therap therapeutic uh perspective how do i manage my emotions by managing the way i think if you learn how to manage your thinking you will learn how to manage your emotions now why do i say that well let me take you back to you know the steps the the of anatomy i call it life anatomy uh and it is understanding how things work and why things work that way everything starts with the influence everything starts with what goes through your eyes and your ears and coming out of your mouth everything starts with what you are around everything starts with where you spend your time the most okay all right so where you spend your time the most will impact you it will influence you so those influences will come in and whatever you're watching whatever you're listening to the most whatever is part of your life whatever is feeding you your life will determine the way you think so those influences will determine the way you think all right now you ask yourself why am i thinking about what i'm thinking about it's because of what you which what you've been around your influences and christian people still don't believe that you think that you can continue to be the christian that the bible tells you about and not hang around those things that will make you that way and that's not how that works are you understanding that's not how it works so what are you hanging around determines how you think all right how you think watch this determines how you feel so if you feel depressed you go back and you you ask yourself what am i thinking about because how i'm thinking is determine how i'm feeling notice i am managing those feelings of depression by knowing immediately to go and look at how i've been managing what i've been thinking by going back and look at what have i been around maybe it's too much news coming in every day maybe it's that phone call that always seems to bring you down if you'll manage the way you think you can manage the way you feel and and notice if you're gonna man be successful in managing your feelings and managing the way you think you've got to manage those influences that are around you you cannot allow everybody's drama to become yours you cannot remember what i said your peace is your most valuable asset don't spend your peace on other people's drama you should not be getting in debt to other people's drama and then using your piece to try to pay it off don't do that you should not do that and so it's it's a matter of of what what are you hanging maybe you know the bible tells us to be careful about who we choose to hang around because they might corrupt good manners and for some of us so some of us listen to me now don't don't don't stop this the the stream stay there listen to me now for some of us we'll get a big change in our thinking if we get if we get some new friends some of y'all got some toxic relationships you're still in a relationship that that that deals with taking advantage of you more than giving you the advantage and when you're around people that all they do is want to take the advantage but they never never never give the advantage that is a toxic relationship and that's going to begin to influence your thinking which is going to begin to influence how you feel now i don't care how fine the woman is if she's toxic you're going to kill yourself at the end of this thing you can stop i don't find i don't care i find the guy you think is if if it's toxic i mean what are you doing what are you doing you understand don't do that don't allow yourself to continue in a toxic relationship don't allow yourself to continue to be devalued don't allow yourself to continue to be treated just terrible you know somebody says well what about agape love some people you got a lot you got to learn how to live at a distance you got to do some social distance in living some of these people need some social distance and loving not the new social distance they need they need the full six feet or 60 miles you know when it's toxic you'll never sell your forgiveness but you got to be smart enough to adjust those influences that are causing you to mismanage the way you think you got to be smart enough to know that when you mismanage the way you think you're going to mismanage your emotions and guess what happens when you when you when you don't manage your emotions right you will you will now mismanage your decisions influences produce the way you think the way you think produces the way you feel the way you feel produces the decisions you make then those decisions will produce the actions you take those actions will create habits so you'll create the habit and then the habit creates you those habits will create the character you have and you cannot go above the character you possess and that character will bring you to your destiny in life and you are where you are because you couldn't manage the influences wouldn't manage the way you felt and did not manage your emotions and your emotions will take you to the places where you'll end up in life ultimately and i say this to people i've been saying it for a while and they just oh well yeah yeah yeah yeah praise the lord he gets paid seven figures so whatever you know people don't even get married for love anymore they get married for what you can do for me i ain't got to love you just as long as you make that deposit every month that's how crazy the world is right now and god's depending on us to give a better illustration and example of how this thing should be there are consequences for making decisions to live that way you don't just decide to live that way without any consequences and yet we are expecting we're expecting oh this is good lord thank you for that we we we love the results of investments but sometimes people won't make the investments yeah i won't i want the results of it but you got to make some investments you got to make the right investments and you make investments in life and in people and in relationships amen let's look at this scripture um ephesians 4 31 he just tells us in these two verses he says get rid of all bitterness get rid of the rage get rid of the anger get rid of the harsh words get rid of the slander as well as all types of evil behavior well that's not going to happen if you don't become a better manager of the things that are influencing you not going to happen if you don't become a better manager of your thinking he says instead be kind to each other be tenderhearted forgiving one another just as god through christ has forgiven you we can't continue to be ignorant on how to live right how to behave right how to act right and how to have the right character well people work so hard to try to be just like the world they don't understand that the better of all of that is what jesus has given us and you think the bet i've never i don't even know if there's another country that worships movie stars like we do it's crazy we idolize movie stars it's just it's just it's crazy they're people and some of their lives are so wrecked up you wouldn't want to have be nothing like them and they might be a touch bipolar you know getting on the screen and acting like completely somebody else and then acting like three or four folks when they out on the screen not all of them but i'm just saying this god never put you here to start idolizing somebody that's acting they're great wonderful people why because they acted and then the real great wonderful people get lost in that idolatry of hollywood what's the matter with us excuse me i'm not okay last one okay if we want to deal with the conflict in relationships don't forget about prayer we're talking about godly relationships don't forget about prayer it helps in building relationships prayer helps in building relationships let me show you these scriptures look at philippians 1 9 in the amplified philippians 1 and 9 and amplified we have so much that's been given to us by god and sometimes when we really need it we don't even use it we let it slip prayer helps relationships philippians 1 9 in the amplified says and this i pray that your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and all king insight that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment pray that pray that when was the last time you know in a marriage when's the last time you prayed and said lord help me to love my my mate better than what i love love in a friendship lord help me to walk in better agape love and help me not to consider myself help me to do things to give them the advantage and not me i mean you're sitting there you're examining yourself and you recognize you never do anything for this person you never and you're just like lord help me to change that when was the last time you pray prayer will help cultivate better relationships it's a it's a tool we can use you don't just have to sit there and watch great friendships just crumble you don't have to sit there and watch amazing marriages you know end up in divorce we have the power of prayer and prayer gives heaven consent to move in on that relationship look what he says here in matthew chapter 5 44 in the king james matthew 5 44 in the king james prayer helps build relationships man and i know all of us have we've been in situations where there was conflict in that relationship and honestly you're like i don't i don't really know at this moment what i need to do tell you what it would be real cool if you went before god and said god help god help i i don't i don't you know i don't feel good about what i did i don't feel good about what i said i don't even know how this thing's gonna be repaired but i need you help and god come in and do some really some real supernatural things and you're like well i didn't do that i know that's him look at this matthew 5 44. but i say unto you love your enemies now when i saw this i'm like god i already know where you're going says if you can learn how to love your enemies then loving people that you love should be a piece of cake some people think dude i don't even know how you i don't know how you're planning on doing that i did that one time with a guy oh fool 30 something years ago maybe he was on radio he would talk about me every afternoon he had this radio show and it was just he should have called the radio show uh dog creflo dollar just every afternoon and you know of course i'm not going to tune in and listen to it but i'd hear people tell me things about it and so uh i think this one time i i tuned in i'm thinking this guy must i need to check him out and he was talking about how he had this financial need and the lord said you don't have to be an enemy of anybody but you do have enemies so so i i told you to love him i'm like okay you know i'm thinking emotionally he says no i want you to just do what i tell you to do and then i heard what he said he says i want you to send him the entire amount and i'm thinking for real god i don't send him the whole amount i shouldn't be sending him a can or whoop i mean i mean and i did and this guy got on the radio and cried like a baby because he was like i cannot believe this guy would do this to me after after everything i've said about him he would turn around and and do that to me and he was just everything and then his ratings went down and he came off the radio and then he came back on he's talking about me again so i i said well lord maybe he just needs me in order to have a successful radio program god will teach you how to love somebody that don't even like you god will teach you how to love somebody that did you wrong i mean i i had this person stole from me forge my signature on some checks and you know she i have to be very honest with you you know i've grown since then praise the lord but i want to tell you the truth and so they called me and uh and we they said we called her and um uh she said i don't know why uh dangle put me in jail and i said put our butt in jail and they locked up god said now you know what you're doing he said go and build that that's it you know how when you want to hear none you're like let god arrive and i went and and i bailed out she came in office she cried she weep she and the whole thing was i can't believe you bailed me out after what i did to you i can't believe you bailed me out whatever what i did you she she said she had to go get some therapy just to figure out how could somebody do that i call it today sowing a do-good seed it's when somebody's done something bad to you that you turn around and sow a do-good seed to them kind of like weeping that's a scripture hot coals of fire on their head they just can't figure out how to how to handle that not that i'm trying to do that but i'm just like the lord will teach you how to love your enemies now my point is if god will teach you how to love your enemies don't you think he'll teach you how to love your husband or wife don't you think he'll teach you how to love your church member don't you think he'll he'll teach how to love your relative after doing some things just terrible and i learned this from my wife my wife man i mean just the stuff that i saw her love people who did her so wrong and she would just she not only would she love them but she would never ever they would never find out that she knows and i'm thinking like somebody got to say something you know she's like uh-uh she said that and what this is all about i'm gonna love them and they will never know that i i i knew anything about it and that really ministered to me god can teach you how to love your enemies he can teach you so if he can teach you how to love your enemies what's up with people that that come to your church how do you slander people that you know and go to your church how do you not speak and have fellowship and and you have to determine what level out of court intercourse holy relationship but at least you can be nice and respect people's feelings and how they feel in their emotions you don't have to just i mean something so simple as hello how you doing you don't have to know their name we're we're the church of jesus christ everybody ought to get a hello you don't have to know him you don't just hello everybody you know just i'm trying to teach us how to live we're coming together we've been we've been out of the building for a year and a half i i've been praying god people that don't belong to our church disconnect them but i also been praying but those who do even though they may be disconnected bring all the world changes home and let us learn how to live in proper relationship with one another that's what we got to do last scripture romans chapter 12 verse 14 in the amplified romans chapter 12 14 y'all almost scared me when i was clapping because i hadn't received no hand claps while i was preaching for like a year and three months and it all it freaked me out just a moment i just realized i'm like oh my god hands are clapping what do i do somebody shouted hallelujah last wednesday and almost scared me like whoa look at this this is the last one bless those who persecute you now the first thing i ask myself again lessons from taffy dollar is you bless with your mouth and you also curse with your mouth so before you talk about doing something to bless somebody it needs to start home base mouth bless those who persecute you so you're gonna have a choice especially with the people that persecute you you want to get them back you say something bad about me i'm going to say something bad about you somebody said i didn't actually say that i was i was texting it they said something bad about me and i text your mama and you know but but that's not that's not blessing somebody it's it's to empower them to have success see this is real christian stuff i'm talking i'm i'm not up here making like a you know little fancy sayings you're wearing a t-shirt and so you this is not a ooh ah service i say something ooh ah that was deep that's not what this is i have found out that we have failed in the basics and our foundation has a gigantic crack in it and if we don't know how to walk in love with one another what are we doing what would seriously what are we doing why are we even opening the dome why don't we just shut it down and keep it closed what are we doing this is not a game we're going to be gone one day we're going to be absent from the body and present with the lord one day i do not want to stand in front of jesus in heaven and be guilty of not knowing how to treat the least in the kingdom of god i don't want to stand before jesus in heaven and and not knowing that i was all i was was a servant of the of god and the kingdom of heaven and i tried to exalt myself above something that should not ever be exalted above and that's servanthood i'm so serious i'm so content i'm so i'm so i'm i'm so serious about this thing if five people came back it wouldn't bother me i'm not that's not where i'm trying to go i'm i'm not counting people in seats i got my eyes on heaven i realized that i that i that i am i'm an alien here and and this is not my home and i'm trying to get home at the right time not too early but i don't want to be late praise god no more religious games if we're going to call ourselves christians let's be that and while we won't be perfect in that we'll just continue to strive for it we'll continue to ask god to help us help me to be better it ought to convict you it does mean now that when i carried myself or behaved and i should have spoken i should have you know maybe did this particular thing maybe i wasn't thinking maybe and then when i got home and i'm like oh man i should have did that oh man i should have made sure i gave a better tip oh oh wow i should have said thank you for that that stuff you might say well that's never on my mind but here's how you know that you're growing it's like it's on my mind now i'm going to be better now it's on my mind now are y'all following what i'm saying bless those who persecute you who are cruel in their attitude towards you bless and do not curse them say something good and do not cuss them curse them well don't cuss them either but amen my time's up father we we thank you for our time today oh god we we really need you like all the time not just when big things happen but we need you we need you all the time we need you every day show us how to be the right examples in these relationships and show us how to live a life that uh will be pleasing to you and impactful in other people's lives show us not to neglect that priority relationship and show us how to have godly friendships and and let us allow you to bring those people into our lives i thank you for this lord i pray for for every world changer i pray for every world changer that something good will happen in their lives of the today there will be a restoration of relationships today a restoration of godly relationships help us help us lord teach us work with us school us we're ready we trust you and help us to be better about who we need to be in other people's lives we give you praise for it now in jesus name now if you're joining us by stream and you've never been born again before and you're like man i i need jesus in my life and i'm telling you i do everybody here does we everybody online does we we need jesus in our lives and there are so many people saying we don't but we do i want to pray this prayer with you and if you'd like to give your life to jesus if you'd like to become a born-again christian i can lead you to jesus just repeat this simple prayer after me heavenly father i realize that i'm a sinner but right now i repent of all my sins i believe that jesus is the son of god that he died he was raised from the dead and today he's alive forevermore therefore lord i ask that you will come into my heart be my lord and my savior i need a savior and right now i receive you as my lord and i declare by faith that i am saved in jesus name amen now that's it if you prayed that simple prayer after me welcome to the kingdom of god you are born again and so i also want to know if you if you did pray this prayer with me text this key word i'm saved that's one word text it to 5155 if you'll provide your name your email address i'd like to send you a free ebook as a gift to you today and welcome welcome to the family of god those of you who are on the comment section if you'll just go in right now and congratulate and welcome those who are born again today congratulations amen well uh let's go ahead and complete our worship today i have come to the place of understanding and believing that our worship is not complete without the giving of gifts it is gift-giving that completes that worship the bible's very clear cumber come before the lord with thanksgiving and praise give glory unto his name bring an offering and worship him see he says we can worship him with that offering bring an offering and worship him in the beauty of his holiness and so we're not giving to try to get god to do something we believe that he's already done it and so by faith we appropriate that and through our giving that's gratitude and thanksgiving for what he's already done see i believe i'm blessed i believe you're blessed and i believe what happens is when we give what we're doing is we're saying lord because we're blessed thank you lord receive this gift oh god because you delivered me this past week thank you lord oh god because you rescue someone that that i love and and they could have died thank you jesus and it's just it's just an all-out thank you and gratitude for what god has already done this is this is this is how i give now i give in a way where there is no condemnation i give in a way where there's no guilt where there's no shame neither can somebody shame me and i i tell you my giving i will never be a non-giver because he has done too much for me he has done too much for me and i'm thinking i don't i don't i can't ever really i can't ever give enough i can't i don't even know how to do that when i start thinking about what god has done when i start counting my blessings i'm like man you are so good you are so good so it's moved from just knowledge about god to a knowing of god it's no more it's no longer just the knowledge about god it's the knowing him and knowing him and that's that's a blessing of the lord it's a blessing of the lord you find yourself talking to him before you go to bed find yourself talk to him when you get up find yourself talking to him when you walk around the house when you start doing stuff watching you talking to the lord and if you'll listen carefully enough he'll speak back and he'll say some amazing things into your heart my sheep they hear my voice i know them and they know me and so uh as you prepare to give and uh and worship god with these gifts do like the magi that was so amazing they came in the book of matthew i think it's chapter two they found jesus there and the bible says they reached into the treasury and fell to their knees and began to worship him with what they pulled out of that treasury that's a powerful thing that's a powerful picture so all of a sudden and this is so much more than money it's because of who he is and because of what he has done thank you lord i so appreciate it that's what this is about amen if you're uh giving through the text you can text world changers space and then the amount to 74483 some of you who are here live you can go ahead and text things as well uh if you're giving through the phone uh one eight six six four seven six also if you're giving through mail 2500 burdette road college park georgia and if you want to give online you can go to the website worldchangers.org or creflo creflodollarministries.org you can give online and you can also use your paypal if you might be an e-member from another country or something so that's also available as well i hope to have our entire church given through text and technology and stuff like that it's it's quicker it's efficient and i mean to the point where we have some people to give classes to folks who don't know how to do that but uh in the dome it's gonna be very very effective but some of you here today are given through envelope that's fine uh we'll go ahead and do that as well so um at this time you guys can continue to give us just however y'all do what y'all need to do y'all can do that this time uh as we uh pay attention to these announcements greetings world changers nation thank you for joining us today we pray that your life is being blessed that you are growing daily in your faith and that you are one step closer to understanding grace and empowering change all around you we want to keep you in the know so here's what's coming up this week world changes church international has eight job openings available for immediate hire here at college park christian advisor senior manager daycare lead teacher daycare assistant teacher executive administrative assistant lead outreach and resource coordinator production clerk pre-press operator and content writer so to apply send your resume to hr world changers.org join us for grace life 2021 the unveiling of jesus as we explore truth about the impact of jesus completed works on our daily lives make plans to tune into grace life conference 2021 on july 15th and 16th at 10 o'clock am and 7 o'clock p.m for two days of life-changing and encouraging revelation registration is only 25 reserve your spot by texting grace life to 51 555 today see you online world changers nation check out this special announcement world changers it's time to reset join us on may 16th at 10 a.m eastern standard time as we return to the world dome better together here's how you can join us register online enter with a mask stay socially distant evaluate yourself for symptoms and get your temperature taken for your safety limited seats are available so register right now by texting wcci reset no spaces to visiting 51555 and clicking on reset it's time to return better together we can't wait to see you sunday may 16th at 10 a.m eastern standard time remember to follow us on facebook instagram or twitter and share what god is doing in your life somebody's breakthrough may be counting on your testimony so chat chat and chat and own up you can always call us at 770 with any of your questions or concerns before you log off today subscribe to our youtube channel and hit the notification bell so you'll be alerted about new videos and every time service goes live see you next week amen now unto him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the almighty god be glory majesty dominion and power both now and forever and everybody said amen have a great day everybody god bless you everywhere i of changer you

Channel: Creflo Dollar Ministries

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Rating: 4.9262671 out of 5

Keywords: creflo, creflodollar, worldchangers, taffi, taffidollar, grace, megachurch, collegepark, atlantachurch, sermon, gracelife, tbn, pastors, church, pastordollar, drdollar

Id: tYoSk7J4E64

Length: 77min 50sec (4670 seconds)

Published: Sun May 02 2021