How to Overcome Infidelity | Jimmy Evans

well I want to talk about how to overcome infidelity and first of all let me just say that there is a book called healing your marriage when Trust is broken by Chris and Cindy Beale they've been through this Chris was a serial adultery as a pastor even had a baby by another woman that he was having an affair with and they survived it and it thrived and her ministering to other people now so I want to say regardless of what you've been through by God's grace you can get through it now let me talk about different types of adultery in in cheating and betrayal and stuff first of all there's there is a type of adultery that is like a one-night stand it just happened one time and the person who did it wife or husband they're very broken they're very repentant it's very difficult still it's devastating to know that your spouse cheated on you that's the best type to deal with because they're repentant it happened one time you know they repent and you get on the other side of it never go through it alone you need to have godly people pastor friends a support group around you helping you to get through this and your emotions are going to be up and down and crazy you need people praying with you and standing with you and giving you good objective input don't get along when you're alone you're very vulnerable so if you've been cheated on and maybe your spouse cheated on you one time or you know they say that they did and maybe you believe that they did get help go to church get a good godly person to help you navigate through it forgive it's very important that your spouse gives you the details of what happened it's part of healing as part of the resolution and if your spouse tells you that they cheated but they don't want to tell you the details that's a warning sign that means they're really not repentant in fact to some degree they're probably transferring the blame and saying well you should have been giving me sex and I wouldn't have gotten out and done all this I was vulnerable because you're not doing this that's not repentant and you can't heal that that that is that is a bad sign and so you need to get help you need to hear the details of what happened you need to talk it through and pray it through with you know godly people and you ultimately get healed from that but the response of the cheater is extremely important if they're accusing defensive angry that's not a good sign in is really difficult to work through that let me say this there's another kind of cheating and this kind of cheating is long-term cheating in many cases serial cheating and you find out that your spouse has been having an affair for four or five years in other words they've lied to you they have betrayed you for a long period of time with another person or people maybe there's multiple people involved that's devastating and it's hard to heal it can be healed Krishna Cindy bills book talks about how their marriage was healed but Chris broke Chris even though he was a serial adulterer he broke he repented and he made it right repentance means this I'll do anything to make it right and I take all the responsibility for what I did sorry means sorry I got caught and sorry this hurts you sorry doesn't cut it repentance cuts it and repentance means I'll do anything I'll tell you anything you want to know I'll go to counselling I'll do whatever it takes to repair the marriage and here's here's a saying that I like repentance makes everything easy when a person is broken and a person is repentant doesn't matter what they've done it does matter what they've done but I'm saying if they've repented regardless of how egregious and sinful their actions were you can heal a marriage with a repentant person sorry you can't heal it and adultery according to Jesus in Matthew 19 adultery is grounds for divorce okay does it mean you have to divorce your spouse if they cheated it means you can and you're free to go on with your life because sex makes marriage sex is what consummates our marriage and makes us one in the covenant of marriage sex also breaks marriage when you go have sexual intercourse with a person other than your spouse it breaks the covenant according to Jesus in Matthew 19 again that mean you have to divorce but if you're dealing with an unrepentant spouse it's really hard it's really hard to deal with and I say this if your spouse is unrepentant and if especially if there's been a long-term affair that they're admitting but they're not really repent enough I would encourage you to take care of yourself I would encourage you to get to a safe place in your life emotionally for you have a support group around you and you can deal with your own issues but don't get alone and try to deal with this by yourself because it just compounds the problem you can get through this with God in godly friends and hopefully with a respect or a penance spouse

Channel: XO Marriage

Views: 39,397

Rating: 4.9160104 out of 5

Keywords: marriage, marriage counseling, marriage help, marriage advice, relationships, relationship help, counseling, Christian counseling, divorce, husband, wife, issues, fixing your marriage, love, marriagetoday, Jimmy Evans, wedding, wedding planning, infidelity, affair, affair recovery, affair help, crisis marriage, cheating, cheater, emotional affair, serial cheating

Id: MZuk5eyoiP0

Length: 5min 9sec (309 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 07 2018