How to get over a man? | Talks with Tony

[Music] hey hey tony gaskins here popping in and not listening i got a coach in uh 39 minutes so i got to get these videos in when i can so this one ain't gonna be too long oh this is a short question here so we gonna jump on in here god bless you hi tony i needed advice so i'm sending you this email i'm still in love with my ex but i want to move on it's been over five months since and i still haven't moved on i think about him every day i was wondering if maybe i'm infatuated or what what what i can't have the crazy part about it is whenever i'm in contact with him which is every blue moon he has asked for money one question is why what is my problem why can't i move on because he'll just ruin any relationship i have if i don't thanks for reading god bless you and your wife now ironically i get this question a lot so let me figure out what the title is because i get this question all the time and the this one of them questions that is kind of like you know when you ask somebody a question in their industry and you kind of and they kind of like uh i thought everybody knew that that's kind of like what the e question is but i but i get it but what y'all have to understand is there is no magic potion there is no trick formula you just have to do it you just got to go so what that looks like is and i'll just make this plain you watch a video every day watch a video every day when you get to hear other people's stories and scenarios you may hear yourself in there and when you get ready to judge when you're like man she sounds stupid man she that weak it'll hit you and you'll be like oh that's me that's how i sound um that's how i look and then you read them comments and you see them other women going in child why are you sending questions to turn again we we barely can't get a video enough and then you want to send him this girl you need to go watch every video he didn't ever post oh my goodness this is the stupidest question i've ever seen what are y'all women doing y'all women just walk around with your eyes closed oh you must were born yesterday when you read new comments any like oh my god okay all right all right let me see let me get my stuff together oh i keep leaving up with with y'all purge i don't lost it so make it plain watch a video every day okay then once a month you pick your course you pick your course you go on tonygastonacademy.com and you get love and relationship bundle and you pick your course and every sunday you go through a section of that course and you get your notebook and you write down the notes when you watch a video you write down the notes i'll say something that you need you could write it in all caps you could write it and underline it and you put it in that notebook then when you watch your video on saturday or sunday or whatever your free day is you writing down notes you're taking the notes then on the next day what you do every day you find a time it could be noon to one while you're eating lunch if you eat by yourself it could be 9 p.m to 10 p.m before bed it ain't got to be that long it could be 15 minutes 9 45 to 10 p.m 10 45 to 11 right before bed you get your notebook and you read through them notes okay oh um i needed that oh i forgot he said that that hit me you read through the notes and you go through the notes and then now what you're doing is you replacing the old knowledge with new knowledge you're getting new knowledge so now you start to see this man for everything that he is it is illuminated to you because you've been in the dark now the truth is coming out and now you can see it and when you get the truth the truth will set you free because it empowers you knowledge is power applied knowledge when you apply the knowledge it becomes powerful and knowledge is powerful because knowledge builds confidence so when you learn about men and you learn about relationships and you learn what a real man is what a real woman is what a real relationship should look like you realize you didn't have any of that you realize that you were not a real woman that he was not a real man and y'all did not have real love so now your heart starts to desire what you did not have but the reason why you stuck is because like they used to say excuse the derogatory term stuck on stupid grandmother you say you're stuck on stupid and so what that mean is you stuck on thinking that this is relationships that this is love you stuck on thinking that this is every man that this was a good man you had and this is every man that's what you stuck on what you have to realize is that no he's not a good man no he's not a real man no that's not a relationship that was y'all relationship a little raggedy relationship but that's not what a relationship looked like they know what knew what my relationship looked like so they know what knew what your neighbor relationship looked like no that was y'all broke busted and disgusted relationship so when you get other examples and you get new knowledge then you're like oh that's what i had don't want that so now you want to move on because you got new knowledge so you putting one foot in front of the other then the next thing you want to do is you start working on you in a different way so what i mean by that is you start your blog you start your company you start your non-profit you discover your purpose you uncover your purpose you start you take the entrepreneurship with purpose course and you learn what you want to do do you want to help young ladies with a non-profit organization where you raise funds and you do makeovers for them and you do girls trips you do college tours you know do you want to use your gift for sewing or cooking or singing or dancing or drawing or organizing whatever you do writing to you want to use your gift and start doing that speaking of i'm going to go back to writing i don't got all the grammar and punctuation skills but i'm trying to create a little private community where i'm writing no hoes barred the real truth now it's going to be a paid community now but you're going to be in there be able to comment be a little community my partner sent it to my business partner said to myself can i look into this when i get some time i mean it's going to be no hold bart now life love and business gonna build a whole person ain't gonna be a video though and it's gonna be better than the video cause i could take my time and write and make sure i hit all the points and then so it's gonna develop your read and then you can still have the videos over here now for free but for the for people who like to read or who want to like to read i'm thinking about starting that so y'all keep your ears open for that community over there and so now here you are you working on you so and you look at you in the three b's every area the brain that's getting knowledge you reading the books and so i was saying watch a video every day you take a course a month but you also pick a book a month so you may read make it work teach you everything y'all did wrong you may read a woman's influence you may read mrs wright you may read what daddy never told his little girl you going through the book single is not a curse a book a month a course a month and a video a day but keep the doctor away okay dot love and so now you getting the help that's the brain that's what i mean when i what to be for brains stand for it's your mind you feeding your mind your brand that's you starting your blog or starting your company your non-profit your for-profit you tap into that even if you work in a full-time job and you happy with that job and you love that job and that's your career you either gonna enhance on that meaning you bring more value you go get another certification get a new training you start smiling more you speaking more you bring more value and you focus on what kind of person do i need to be to get a promotion to get a raise that could be brand too brand doesn't necessarily mean entrepreneurship if you don't want to be an entrepreneur if you ain't all the way happy on that job then that mean you start working on other things outside of your job on your days off that's the brand the body you look at your body goals do you want to lose weight do you want to put on some weight some you know some muscle you want to lift your booty you want to firm your thighs then you set your goals you write them down then you get a plan you say okay i'm lacking in the derriere area so what do i need to do you go on youtube how to build my glutes boom it's going to be a workout every day 30 minutes you squatting it out you mean and so now you look up three weeks a month from now them thighs looking right and food and lifted you know you swear you doing leg workouts every day because that burn the most calories and then so now also with body you eating right so you eating better you drinking all water you eating your vegetables your fruits you you eating right then you keeping your legs closed that's also body so now you see brain brand body this how you get over him the reason why you still stuck it's been five months and you still haven't moved on because you ain't getting the work you need no work it's because you running in circles you coming and asking a question but you ain't doing the work how many courses you got how many boys you got how many videos you don't watch and actually listen to and apply what you heard so you got to think about that okay and when you think about that then you're like oh okay um all right i see now i see so hey that's that for that um go through that i got more courses on that you need to go deeper on this one uh get the real uh university course um you know the books this is just really come down to the work but i get this question why can't i move on because you ain't doing no work and then what you also got to realize on day seven it won't feel like day 70 if you actively doing the work but if you just sitting still and all you doing just think about him you say i think about him every day you should be so busy building your brand building your body building your brain that you don't have time to think about him you should be working like a mad woman but you ain't mad you glad but man scratch your booty get glad okay so that's how you working you ain't got time thinking about him because you you still mapping out this logo what color you writing a copy for your website you writing your book every day every moment you get boom when you think about him you pull a lesson from it you remember whenever you think about him remind yourself of why you had to leave him remind yourself of why y'all broke up remind yourself of the bad qualities that made the relationship end and write those down if you need to and read them aloud and then boom now you got that so you like this why i left them because see the way the mind work the mind self soothes so what the mind wants to do is it wants to remember the good so that you can heal and move forward or so that you don't have to live in pain so the mind it'll remember the good and so just like when you get a tattoo when you getting that tattoo that thing hurts so bad you're like well ain't never getting another tattoo but then a few months later five six months later if you first set out to say i'm gonna get me three tattoos full tattoo then boom you now you ready for that second one because you don't forgot the pain and that's how it is with a relationship you forget the pain and what ended the relationship and you remember the times y'all were laughing on the roller coaster having a good time but you don't remember the time that y'all was in uh like an mma match your mind would just sweep over that so we remember things better than they were and that's just the way the mind work so understand that get that in your life and remember and like i say you know this short video because like i no no question is a bad question so don't take that wrong without telling y'all in the beginning but i went ahead and spelled this out because for me the answer is always you just got to leave you know for me it's like you just got to go you just got to do it but i realized not everybody understands what the work means when i say you just got to do the work not everybody know what the work means so i spelled it out for you here so at least do that bare minimal and then add more to it you know and create you a day schedule so that you give your days direction six am you waking up 6 30 you reading and meditating seven o'clock you doing 30 minute cardio 7 30 you in the shower you out the shower eight o'clock you out the house however your day work you you might have to get up five but you give your days direction so in this day you doing what you got to do to earn a living you taking care of family that you got to take care of friends and family you know family that you respond kids what have your spouse uh what you know parents you looking out for whatever so you got family you got finances meaning you working you got your faith meaning that you read okay you got your food me you taking care of your body you got your fitness meaning that you working out you see what i mean you see them else i just gave you you got your friends you got friends family faith fitness food finances look at all them else i think in my book single is not a curse i call it the five else but i don't remember because just like i do these videos off top of my head that same way i write my books i just write it in the moment so i can't remember what five f's are but if you got the book single is not a curse you know what i mean and so add you a few more else on there add you some d's on there add you some c's on there you see what i mean you create you a system let's say okay i need to get this in get this in get this in now you give you get your day planner i need to release me a day planner then somebody's like yeah i don't want to release a day plan i buy that then i go through all the trouble to get a day planner and then five people by the day planner [Music] said see though i should stay in my lane and be full and hype you up to go do something and then five people get the day planner so go get you a day plan from somebody else that they do day planners i don't do day planner get day day planner i support them and you give your day direction and then now what happens is boom your alarm don't go off you overslept when you wake up you able to look at your day planner and see where you're supposed to be at 7 30. so today you miss 6 to 7 30 window but you pick up at 7 30 because you've given your day direction boom you at work you get all work you get a mercy phone call from your friend she boohoo crying she going through that take up an hour your time you get off that phone now you able to go to your day planner and say what i'm supposed to be doing right now at seven o'clock so now okay boom let me jump in right here get that done yeah you missed that right there cause that's life that's how life happened you don't lose your mind pull your hair out oh i got to get all this no it ain't the end of the world you ain't get to read the bible today okay read read extra tomorrow if you can or just read it tomorrow just meditate on what you read yesterday in your heart in your spirit while you're going through your day see but give your days direction that way you ain't got to be thinking about this man but see you you don't have direction so you sit and think about the man and the man they think about you and then when he do thank you about you every blue moon now let's let me hit on this man that's what you that's what you will you money union okay and western ground that's what you are to him that's all you mean to him he does not like you he does not want you all he wants to do is use you you are a bank account he come to you for monty so what you need to do is block his butt so that when he texts you it come up green if you got iphone and he can't reach you he got to call you from all kind of numbers don't answer no number don't respond to any text that's not in your phone don't answer no phone call that's not in your phone well what if this emergency and one of my family members calling me from a different they'll leave a message you get the message you call them right back all right if if if the lord and call them in them five seconds then the lord was gonna call him regardless so let him leave that message hey come right back all right all right 30 seconds you ain't lost but 15 seconds they still there hey i need y'all hey i need you come on over here all right now you know it's your family member but if it's him you don't answer the phone and some of y'all notice but you say well i just want to answer every call just case it's a mercy no it ain't you trying to answer his phone call because you know you got him blocked and he calling for somebody else number and you want to accidentally have to talk to him on the phone because you missing them because you're not working on the three b's you ain't fooling nobody me you or god are not fool so you have to create your schedule block his number and the worst thing you could do and you said i'm wondering if maybe i'm infatuated no you're not infatuated that's a soul tie or you want what you can't have that's a you got a soul tie with them it's an emotional bond you still addicted to the feeling to the laughter to the hugs to the smiles to the good times it's a soul time want what you can't have yeah you are seeking approval a lot of time when a man don't want you it makes you feel less than it's like the quarterback who don't want the the bookworm and he go for the cheerleader but the cheerleader but the bookmark got a huge crush on him so then she might really beat herself up over that because she really want this man and then she finally get to date this man because he see he she keep looking at him and then he doing nasty but then he able to just keep coming back and doing a nasty because she sat down and fantasized and fetishized all over him so now he get to keep running in and out of her life and that's what happened you want a man so bad you want a relationship so bad he feel that void he feel that space so you just holding out hope that he gonna get his act together and he gonna come back and that y'all gonna run off right off into the sunset no ma'am no mound not going to happen you're wasting your time and the reason i know you wasting your time because when a man come back to you and he's not coming back to you to apologize and to say this is what i've done to work on myself and to change but he coming back to you and say hey um yeah um do you think i got borrowed 200 on cuz i'm just in real hard time right now and it's like everything that's going on in my life like when i thought like i ain't crying right now like that ain't me crying so don't eat because you know i'm from the street so like i don't even cry like that but one thing what i was saying is like hold on hold on give me a second so like what i was saying is like it's like you the only person that got my back it's like my mama turned her back on me my sister turned her back on me but oh boy why did he help me but then i caught but every time i call you you dealt for me so you said nobody i know i know and you know it's all i've ever wanted you to understand is that i love you and it's just like i just wanted to be you and me so you know what i'm going to do i'm going right now to moneygram and i'm going to send you that no actually to make it faster i'm going to cash app i'm going right to cash out right now and i know you asked for 200 but what i'm gonna do is because i just got my christmas bonus i'm gonna send you 400 okay i'm gonna send you 400 because i know i know that it is so hard for you to ask for anything because i know the man that you are and so he over there like yeah hey you know what hey thank you thank you and this one thing about me because you know i'm from screen and like one thing about being discreet like we keep our word and so i'm gonna tell you like this right here this that in third one thing what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna pay you back tenfold it might be a thousand fold because that's just one thing about me that's one thing about me and and i'm gonna say one thing to you before i got to go because i got to go because they they oh my god they just put so much grass on me it's like like the bible say because i know you love the word and you know the word like me and that's one thing that i beat myself up by every day is should i come back to you and we make this thing work because you know the bible like me but let's listen this is what i'm saying the bible say when you give it giving back to you press down running together shaking together running over and bottled up and pressed down and you you know what i'm talking about you know the scripts i'm talking about where say you're gonna sow the harvest and it's gonna be sowing and reaping time you know what i'm talking about what scripture it is i knew it i knew you would know hey but listen listen this i love you all right now bye hey gotta hey but hey boy hey i got a white detail why i went into the mold while crying for real hey why asking for 200. she said she better give me four call hundred uber man we gonna go to the casino and ball life cuz hey you already know me coming from the front street boy i can turn 404 000 tonight yes sir hey thank you got it let me call my other chick see what she gonna give me hold on you see what i'm saying that right now and i said i had to play that out for you i had to take you all the way through it so you just could sit back and look what you be going through when he called you for money that's exact nah nah now you get the lens into what he be doing not how you feel oh really oh you you still want to wait around on them to call you in another blue moon to ask you for some more money because the number gonna keep going up first was a hundred they don't 200 it's going to be 500 there's gonna be a thousand then he didn't tell him his dog got canceled dog got counseling and he got dog insurance so and and the vet told him he gonna need thirty two hundred thirty two hundred and thirty seven cent he finna come with a direct number and what he's gonna do he's gonna go it's gonna get more and more elaborate he's 52 go to his classmate who was a veterinarian and give her a scenario and have her draw up an invoice and bring that invoice to you you know what i figured out that i noticed that i think some women did to me i think some women wrote me to get an invoice for coaching to show it to they man and got that man to cash out that money and ain't that invoice is void that invoice have been paid you hit me since the sun went down and came up a thousand years ago that invoice ain't don't know how to spell pay i i say you know what this is what folks be doing both be going to get invoices to get money from the ex from their mama they daddy to make it look real and don't pay the invoice yeah my car it broke down oh yeah i don't seem to happen time and time again so this what you need to remind yourself of so if you have to make yourself feel stupid then make yourself feel to make yourself feel dumb if that don't work for you you got to make yourself feel loved and self-loved and cherished and all that child of god and make yourself feel that but you have to do the work you got to do the work and you got to press forward because listen to me these men they ain't playing no games with y'all well i'll take them back that's all they playing with y'all the game but you know what i mean they ain't playing no game this this serious because you can't get this time bite you can't get this life back all the time you wasting the money you given listen you could have put that money on on the stock market and that money couldn't double in 30 days you bought the right stock you can gave this money to the man that's like flushing the money down the toilet and that's what he did with y'all relationship flush it down the toilet so understand this sometimes you got to get that baby powder and just go to town and you got to get this through your mind you got to realize okay it's time for me to wake up smell the folgers and get going with my life because this is wasting every minute of my life that i will never get back while i'm thinking about it man worried about this man sending my money air blue moon he hit me up thinking that i could buy him bang no he using you exactly for that and he laughing about you you giving him he asking you for money you maybe ain't getting to him if you didn't get to him congratulations kudo hiccup your cookie so but he asked you for money to take another woman out on a date to help that other woman pay her bills to try to look like a stand-up man he helped him pay her bill so that she would drop her guard and he could get her on her back so he could then do her like he did you then he gonna reduce her to the same role you in now ain't gonna have him too that he could call for money just like he got ready to do before we had to cut the scene he got ready to call the other one that's how men do and some men they make a whole living off of ex-girlfriends who are so tired and not doing the work just sit there all day that's what he like he work at a call center hello yo that's all he do next thing you know because all he got to have is three or four y'all and he's making a living he making a living y'all getting the money off the credit oh i know how to get money on credit card hey because you know i'm gonna scream you know you scam so hey i know how to get the money out of the credit card and i'll let hey they give me the no i get it off oh yeah yo credit score looking like a shoe size dealing with this man that man got your credit score looking like when you your weight on the scale you with the boston they call the police on you your credits go so bad man we gotta call the police man you ain't gonna better leave out of here experience and told us to hold you spearing the asses to hold you in here why cause of who you dealing with come on y'all got to wake up smell the coffee now and please if you see this even this video let me respond to you let you know this he'll come back all right yeah hey that real talk that real type of knife i ain't gonna hit that playing with key that really yeah i know how to type i ain't done so now listen let me take the comment here i gotta look happy gotta look happy that come on he need me vietnam so now listen if if you see this video if you hear me the sound of my voice right now just watch the video one more time even if you don't need it so that you do not have to ask me in the live q a or ever again tony i left relationship and i can't get over him what to do this was your answer okay make it plain for you this was your answer cause i get tired it's the one question that really i get tired of answering you got to go got to go all right hey god bless y'all i got a coach in eight minutes so i need to take this hat i'll let my hair breathe let this scalp breathe i can't do it i ain't got no hair cut yet so i had to keep your hats on ain't got no haircut come on borrow you know you've been under the weather but god bless y'all we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 44,875

Rating: 4.9720383 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: QZrVruyqBXI

Length: 31min 15sec (1875 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 10 2020