How have you ever had to Defend your MASCULINITY? - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit serious what is the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen a man do to defend their masculinity my dad will not tolerate being served food that was set to look pretty once he ordered a dish with coconut shrimp and when it came out its presentation looked very cute and my dad immediately recoiled in disgust and said this isn't what I ordered take it back we were all confused because he had in fact ordered it and the waitress was just beside herself my dad and said it's too feminine the waitress ended up taking the plate back and they rearranged the Shrimpers to not offend my dad as if he were a picky two-year-old a few weeks ago my wife and I visited a friend in another country we got to know her boyfriend who was a bit special he teased her relentlessly all the time and could not take any criticism at all once we were arriving back at the house by car he was driving when she jokingly told him I Drive way better than you referring to the narrow alleyways in their town and how she has no issues parking in tiny spots apparently he saw that as an offense to his manly hood which he just could not let slide in front of his girlfriend earnest to almost complete strangers in the back seat he started accelerating like a maniac going about 80 kilometres an hour in an old European town in the mountains where you don't see any cars coming and the roads are really narrow his girlfriend screaming at him to stop he did this for about two streets before he turned around and drove back yes endangering the lives of my girlfriend and two randiss is the only way I prove that I am manly I used to work at a bakery where each Clarke had to bring their own pens to have customers sign receipts with if they paid with a card I had a pink pen with a little duck on top and one day a customer refused to sign with it he got really mad that I didn't have another pen and walked out of his car to find a pen that wasn't girly I had a pink sequiny pink I used when I used to do Sporting Goods ink was blue but had kept the macho men from stealing my pen when they got there hunting fishing license I had a guy tell me either man I walk ahead while we were in my part of the city where clearly I was the one who knew the way it ended up with me turning the right way and then him jumping in front of me and walking ahead it was kind of goofy but I could tell that at the core he was serious a guy tried to emasculate me in my weightlifting class the problem being he had never lifted in his life it should be noted that this was guy was a one-upper to a tee if anyone had a talent or had anything remotely interesting to say he was there to help do them I was showing him how to do bench press and I was doing 155 which is my maximum not a lot of weight but again it's a lot when you've never lifted he proceeded to attempt the weight I was doing while I was at the water fountain unfortunately I couldn't get there before he gave himself a hairline fracture in his sternum I would have felt worse for him if he wasn't such a dog head step brother is the type of guy that refuses to hold his girlfriend's purse once at a small family dinner she went to the bathroom after a minute she must have texted him and he goes to check on her they quietly argued a little and were clearly mad but trying to hide it the whole night after turns out he needed a tampon from her person he wouldn't even bring the purse to her she had to text my sister to bring it to her first time I went out with my now fiancé and her parents she went to the bathroom and I offered to hold her purse mum got mad at dad because he refuses to do that personally I don't get it who the hell cares if someone sees me holding a purse outside of a bathroom they're just going to assume I'm holding it for someone with that said I also have no problem holding it otherwise anywhere else really no big deal to me my ex hated holding my bag for any reason and would get really mad at me for it we had been together for three years and were at a party with people we had known for our entire relationship longer for him I asked him to hold my bag while I went to the bathroom on my way back some guy came in who he wanted to impress and he straight-up dropped my bag on the ground with my computer in it all to protect his oh so fragile masculine I have to hold my girlfriend's purse every time we go shopping I too would get uncomfortable holding it but now I make it a point to flaunt it like I own it friend of mine had a wardrobe malfunction and flashed her crotch accidentally a tool bag at the bar pointed it out by loudly yelling I saw your bag I saw your bag her boyfriend responded by flipping out and yelling at her about how dare she show some other bloke her bag she had to placate him that it was still his bag a holes all around it was raining and I offered a guy my umbrella and he refused saying they were for just four women I didn't even know that was a thing next million-dollar idea the man Brella the handle can be a camo pistol grip I don't think you could get much manlier than a brass penis as the grip what's manlier than an erect penis back in middle school when UGS was still in fashion I had a pair of frogs fake fake hugs that I kept things in that I didn't want people to see my phone tampons money et Cie well one day Aunt Flo comes along and I attempt to sneakily put a tampon in my boot to go to the bathroom I was still self-conscious at the time about periods I raise my hand get up and try to walk to the door trip and my boot falls off and my tampon rolls to this dude he picks it up not realizing what it is when he realizes he screams like a girl and the people around start giggling as he throws it in the air well he didn't like being laughed at so to redeem himself he grabs the tampon and starts snoring on it with his teeth full on dog attack style then he spits it out and toe the floor I was not happy and people just kinda looked around awkwardly and went back to work yep nothing says manly like publicly trying to eat a tampon what in the dark two male classmates and I were on a field trip and got caught in the rain I had a raincoat and guy one had an umbrella he offered to share it with the guy to who had no rain gear guys who insisted it was gay to share an umbrella with another man he would only use the umbrella if he carried it while I walked under it with him and guy one borrowed my raincoat this didn't fly because a I wasn't about to give up my raincoat for the poultry protection lent by huddling under ill umbrella and B guy one would not have fit my raincoat so guide two got soaked I dated a guy who insisted that he had to hold the umbrella as a man he was much shorter than me and it was my umbrella we argued on a street corner for like 10 minutes obviously didn't last but that was because he was also pretty racist because standing under an umbrella together is pretty much foreplay in the gay community man I know a guy who's completely given up on straight porn solely because he can see the man's penis I know this because he's so incredibly vocal about watching exclusively lesbian porn Sahn dildos or anything remotely phallic and that it's gay to do otherwise and he's going to be so pissed off when he realizes that he has a coke TFW your balls deep and a girl and look down and see your penis in the whole thing turns gay personally I only watch porn with two dudes because girls like Dongs and dongs are gay a female friend of mine brought a tinder boy on a double date with me and my girlfriend after the movies we took a dip in friends pool and somehow we started this quasi sward fight game with the pool noodles this ducking kid proceeded to whack me with all his strength in an attempt to impress my friend like I could see the strain in his face also afterwards we were watching a movie and I fell asleep tinder boy proceeded to aggressively attempt to feel up friend and suck on her shoulder there was not a second date suck on her shoulder well I guess everyone has their fetish so it's this guy's fault that I couldn't wear a tank top in high school finally we found that a-hole hey everybody we got the guy I work with an insane over-the-top alpha ego duck boy we all go out for drinks one night and he literally tells me I should go fight a random stranger in the bar because we have a similar haircut obviously I think he's joking cause that ducking ridiculous butt he's dead serious and goes on to tackle me duck in kitten and says how soft I am goes on to tell me about all the bar fights he has been in needless to say we don't invite him for drinks anymore I'm sorry but I have to laughs I'm a woman and fighting someone because they have the same haircut sounds like something stereotypical women do in hack movies a few weeks back in a company meeting I realized I was wearing the exact same shirt as the CEO we're both guys not just the same color but the exact same shirt I was really tempted to go up to him and say well one of us is going to have to change a friend of mine once got in the car wearing a black button-down I was too he didn't say a word just got out walked into his house and changed shirts some years back I had a guy blocked me on FB and stopped talking to me at work because I posted a pic of me and makeup that my daughter did and then a second pic of me in a sarong with same makeup she was 10 and wanted a model to work on it was hilarious fun and it will be a long live great memory of me and my little girl having a good laugh apparently he was talking behind my back about me being gay and I was teaching my daughter the wrong things about what being a man meant and what girls should expect the other blokes are as crazy as me and didn't think much of him he even went as far as telling this so he did not think I was the right person to be working and sleeping at the station with other men I'm a firefighter this is a guy who was divorced twice and estranged from his kids has at least one violence order against him that I've since learned about he was a [ __ ] worker and only lasted eight months I've seen examples like this like being too good of a parent his womanly you should stare at him every time he goes down the pole idk if the pole is a real thing just saying you sound like an awesome dad my best friend unexpectedly had a very heavy period hit her out of nowhere while at work she bled noticeably through her pair she asked her boyfriend to drive to the store and pick up some tampons and a change of pants he showed up later with some pants and no tampons he didn't want to be seen buying them he was 24 my old boss of 8 years working at Sonic drive-in would buy tampons to keep in the drawer in case many of the young women working there needed one it was like a communal thing and he paid for them out of pocket for anybody that needs them one time our supervisor came in and saw them and mentioned to my boss the GM asking of the store paid for those he mentioned it in a rude way trying to make sure the store didn't pay for those at all my boss rolled his eyes and said he paid out of pocket I always respected my boss there for many reasons but that was a big one for me I'm not female but it's a nice gesture for him to do that we are next to high school so some young girls would end up working there and may not have them handy I went to an all-girls high school we had a male religion teacher who did the same thing first day of school he'd reference the hygienic drawer its contents and that any student could take what she pleased at any time no questions as a 14 year old girl the announcement alone was extremely embarrassing to sit through but the drawl saved me a couple times and I grew to really appreciate it into him r.i.p mr. Gundersen neat I'm our supervisor came in and saw them and mentioned to my boss the GM asking of the store paid for those he mentioned it in a rude way trying to make sure the store didn't pay for those at all and this is how shrinkage via theft is born join our community discord link in description my brother won't eat foods that resemble semen no mayonnaise no yogurt or sour cream nothing he won't even eat the melted frosting on a cinnamon masculinity so fragile bro missing out on that Cinnabon though dude if cinnamon icing only came out of dudes tongs I would be so gay RN get in raids and argue that ducking another guy out the ass didn't make you gay only taking a did like he was ready to attack us for laughing at him yeah you think that's funny keep it up Jim I'll duck you in the ass then you will be GOI ' that's very ancient Greek of him lol that sounds like someone told this to him as a joke and he took it a little too seriously my husband has long hair and usually has a few hair ties on his wrist because of it one of the guys I used to work with also has long hair and couldn't find the suitable replacements for the rubber band he'd lost my husband upon noticing offered him his last hair tie that just so happened to be pink and this dude went to a damn tirade saying how he wasn't some F and wasn't going to wear it then went through the rest of the day in 102 degrees heat soaked with sweat and his hair just getting all stuck to his face and [ __ ] this same dude also refused to ever put on sunscreen or wear gloves even though he worked outside with tools pretty much every damn day so he'd constantly be sunburned and peeling and always had these huge painful looking blisters on his hands nothing says manliness like skin cancer the sunscreen thing has been mentioned a few times in this read and is so weird to me are they waiting it with lotions or creams and that's why they think it's feminine I always just associated it with the beach I once had a housemate who was a male nurse not a nurse a male nurse if you forgot the Mayo you were always corrected you would think someone who was that sensitive wouldn't have become a male nurse in the first place went on a date with a cop he paid for dinner and we went for coffee I quickly paid for the drinks and his attitude turned sour after that he thought that by me paying it made him less of a man it was just a nice gesture he's still single I've actually gotten into a real argument on a date because he wouldn't let me pay for anything like not even okay you get it this time I'll get it next time thing he literally was offended that there was going to be any point in our dating history where I paid our dating history ended that Eve when I was a teenager I guy I know shotgunned a whole bottle of gin people did this with beer I guess he thought it would be cool with hard liquor I guess the big issue is that you don't feel anything while you are downing it he collapsed moments after finishing he was in the emergency room within the air after passing out and being on router board was giving out samples of yoghurt at the grocery store offer a man some looks in disgust woman food he was a grown man probably in his late 30s early 40s what the duck is woman food women food like the salads that make them laugh in stock photos the salad tells jokes as a defense mechanism to keep it alive longer and in hopes that you'll not want to eat it for its high entertainment value my ex and I used to play a little game about this and it's amazing how common of a thought it is we had a tally in his phone off when we went out and our orders were swapped I would order a beer him a wine and the exact same person who took the order would always give the wine to me without asking same goes for burgers masculine versus pastors feminine steak is masculine salad feminine fisherman's basket is masculine whereas salmon on a bed of risotto is feminine when we ordered something similar such as two different pasta dishes we always had the item announced rather than it just handed to us it's very interesting how people do gender food and how common it is I have a cousin that'll only eat meat and as little of non meat foods as possible he sees meat as being very manly in salad and stuff as being feminine for example he'll eat a bacon burger and only tolerates a bun because it makes holding it easier but you'll have bacon for breakfast a burger for lunch and steak or fish for dinner and surprisingly he's had three heart attacks and severe atherosclerosis so being manly seems to be mainly about dying in his 50s to heart disease I bought some perfume once that accidentally got the pour home version so I gave it to my dad he refused to use it because it was for poof's I was at the pub with my sisters and three of their male friends at the time I was fat very fat and a bit socially awkward male friend one started being a bit of a douche deliberately trying to make me uncomfortable eventually he claimed that he was a total Fanny magnet and that chicks couldn't resist him then turned to me and said you'd sleep with me wouldn't you I looked him up and down and said that depends are you rich if not no thanks his friends howled with laughter and he spluttered angrily he then picked up his full pint and dumped it on me his friends picked him up under his arms and escorted him out by which I mean they flung him down two steps into the street and ordered him to go home they apologized a lot one took me home to change and we all had a perfectly nice night out showed up with my friend to a barn party and when her ex-boyfriend noticed she was there he made sure she was watching and then proceeded to chug the rest of a huge frickin jug of peppermint schnapps he had been holding this wasn't a handle either it was like milk gallon sized but peppermint schnapps why we're in a barn everyone else just had beer so I don't even know where he got it like it's not the manliest of drinks but he committed and he finished it honestly thinking back I actually was sort of impressed so I guess mission accomplished on his part a friend of mine once refused to shower for over a week because his mother had bought the lemon scented shower gel rather than the manly mint one he was used to his defense even if I haven't showered at least I still smell like a bloke suffice to say we didn't hang around him until he got his minty shower a man I was hooking up with wouldn't wear my pink hair tie to hold his dreads back during sex in the dark with just me and him in the room understandable he wouldn't want anyone to think he was gay while he was actively having intercourse with a woman pretty reasonable if you ask me I hate it when I'm balls deep and a woman and get caught looking gay I mean women are super feminine so hetero sex is pretty gay returned a Christmas gift from his wife because he was concerned gap stood for gay and proud almost sold his Jeep when being joking told it was renamed to cover up GP standing for gay pride same person who thought being called homophobic was synonymous being called a closeted homosexual I suppose when so many anti-gay legislators end up caught in scandals this isn't a huge stretch edit to be clear he was extremely angry because someone was calling him homophobic and he thought that meant he was being accused I've had men basically refused to walk through doors that I've opened for them Oh suddenly so many awkward moments make sense when I was about 18 I can remember a woman holding a door open for me but me being a stupid 18 year old and wanting to impress my new girlfriend still together somehow 17 years later and show her chivalrous I am I put my hand on the door and said no after you the only way this woman could now pass was to go under my arm and after a few seconds of awkwardness she does by bending down and banging into me on the way through I then insisted my girlfriend go through - and she had to do the same thing I thought I was some kind of knight when really I was just an idiot who turned a two second walk through a door into 20 seconds of awkwardness and stupidity thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 94,618

Rating: 4.9075718 out of 5

Keywords: what screams i need to prove my masculinity, askreddit, reddit, best of reddit, what do feminists believe?, r/askreddit, this man hates women...(cringe), people share their stories, hannah gadsby man hater, people share their secrets, ask reddit, how to scream to prove your masculinity, funny reddit, people share their, reddit top posts, masculinity, top posts, kanye west, arnold schwarzenegger, trump, gender gap, gender, ridiculousness, femenism, Femininity, transgender, massachusetts

Id: iQHG0vipy7w

Length: 20min 25sec (1225 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 30 2020