House Republicans Blast Masks, Trump’s Tough Week & Gay Legos!

i'm jimmy i'm the host of the show thank you thank you for watching thanks for coming it's thursday night we're coming to you from our home in hollywood where things are slowly getting back to as normal as they get here our band the klee tones is back in the studio we've got you've been here the whole time yeah i've been hearing that we've even been inviting people to be in our studio audience because of code we have no studio audience the people you hear clapping and pretending to laugh are our staff at the show but tonight last week we had one person in our studio audience tonight we have two we're taking it slow it's couples night tonight say hello to our audience thank you and welcome what are your names my name is chelsea chelsea my name is caleb oh how adorable chelsea and caleb um and chelsea you are with child i am yeah congratulations have you guys seen the show before we watch the show all the time it's our first time here so it's very possible then that the child was conceived while you were watching the show i guess it's not impossible but unlikely unlikely probably what do you do for work i'm a high school spanish teacher oh buenos and i'm an architect for uh walt disney imagineering oh you're one of the imagineers members you know what chelsea my favorite when i was in spanish i was in the spanish honor society in high school even though i remember almost none of it but um my favorite thing to say was and i'd say this all the time randomly in class was que lastima [Laughter] always made our spanish teacher laugh whenever i teach my students that they love that phrase they think it's hilarious they lost him or what opinion right that describes my whole study abroad experience i just said that phrase over and over again and people laugh right not always as an imagineer were you a part of building the animatronic donald trump in the hall of presidents i had nothing to do with it okay i watched that today on youtube that's something to see by the way hey guillermo calls me pendejo that um brave leader right isn't that what you said brave leader yes yes yes well welcome enjoy the show and remember if you have to get up to go to the bathroom that means i've lost half of my audience so stay put hold it in if you want to i will do you watch the bachelorette not typically every once in a while my best friend is super into it so i watch it with her everywhere don't be ashamed of the fact that you don't watch the bachelorette embrace it you know they have versions of the bachelor and the bachelorette on all over the world and the show is especially popular in australia where they just announced the first openly bisexual bachelorette the contestants for her hand will be men and women her name's brooke brooke said my perfect person is someone that loves me for me i hope they offer shared values and compassion for others so she's definitely picking a woman it's you know i see it's a little bit harder to believe you haven't been able to find love the old-fashioned way when your dating pool is everybody but who am i to question the sanctity of the bachelorette a lot of people are treating this like it's some kind of uh equal rights triumph which this isn't and isn't exactly jackie robinson i want to remind everyone it's a hot tub orgy game show okay but i do have to say i'm so mad the australians beat us to this we should be ashamed of ourselves what happened to america in innovation what happened to our ingenuity i hope your child can fix this for us and lead us in the right direction this is something the space travel company owned by jeff bezos blue origin i mentioned this a couple of weeks ago they're auctioning off a seat for their upcoming trip to space the highest bidder will get launched into orbit and the highest bid right now with a few weeks to go is 2.8 million dollars for one seat on an 11-minute flight but it's not just a seat on the flight their site you can see here it says upon gentle landing you'll be picked up in a truck three million dollars you still have to ride home in the back of a toyota tacoma the company hasn't revealed the identity of the leading bidder but it shouldn't be hard to narrow down i mean who has that guy let's see who has 2.8 million dollars and might need to get off the planet fast oh yeah that guy will finally get to meet all the illegal aliens he's been streaming about it's been a tough week for our former president his former lawyer and right hand man michael cohen the guy who mortgaged his own house to pay stormy daniels only to be cast aside by mr wonderful michael cohen who knows donald trump as well as anyone believes that in the end the snake will devour his own eggs what's going to happen when all of a sudden they turn around and they start asking him about his tax returns or about the devaluation of the assets or the way that he took um deductions i don't do my taxes it's my accountant so he's gonna turn on his account and point the finger he's gonna say don jr handled that ivanka handled that melania don't take me take melania he's gonna tell him to take everyone except for himself it's almost like he's speaking from personal experience huh the saddest part is going to be when trump forgets to pin a crime on tiffany you know in washington uh thanks guys the new the new new thing in washington now that's dividing congress is the masked mandate house of representatives democrats want it so republicans naturally don't democrats in the house yesterday blocked a republican-led resolution that would have allowed them to not wear masks to work it took a while but we finally found the one thing house republicans aren't willing to cover up their faces and the main reason these masks are are still needed the only reason they need them on the floor of the house is because less than half of house republicans are vaccinated they don't want to get vaccinated and they don't want to wear a mask it feels like at the end of an episode of the twilight zone we finally find a cure for the disease everyone has but they're too dumb to take it a lot of republicans are flouting the rules now including clan mom marjorie taylor green who put on quite a show in front of her paper shredder you can't discriminate against people simply because they won't wear a mask and today i refuse to wear a mask on the house floor and i received a warning from speaker pelosi that leads to fines if i continue to refuse to wear a mask well here's what i think of your warning speaker pelosi so cool right of all the problems we have in this country that's what this imbecile is focused on maybe she could put her brain in that shredder next the cdc last week announced that with a few exceptions vaccinated americans don't need to wear masks indoors and since they did that there's been a sharp increase in google searches for fake vaccination cards searches for fake covid vaccine card are up more than 1100 percent and you can buy them which is so gross i mean let's start calling these vaccine avoiders what they're free loaders the only reason you're somewhat safe now is because other people got the shot you're the person who heads for the bathroom when the check comes at the restaurant you're the lady who takes home the centerpieces from a wedding you weren't invited to you're the guy who brings five napkins to a potluck dinner that's you you don't think it's you but it's you on a brighter note legos which um uh caleb and chelsea will be the toy that will soon cover every surface of your home lego today in the spirit of inclusiveness unveiled everyone is awesome it's first ever lgbtq themed set in honor of pride month which is next month so that should i mean that's that should keep sean hannity's head smoking like a burnt meat loafer of another month or so of course this means conservatives will most likely be boycotting lego soon which is going to be especially tough for tucker carlson since he is one but lego isn't the first company to do something like this mattel did this something like this a couple of years ago and it might not seem like a big deal to have these kinds of toys but having toys the kids can relate to is important for kids this is something i was discussing with one of our writers lewis today and he had some interesting thoughts on it so here now to weigh in on the lego pride set is louis vertell to vertell it like it is lewis thank you for the opportunity jimmy and not just because i'm the only gay person you've ever met the lego pride set i'm all for it growing up playing with legos i didn't get much out of like building a blue house or a yellow post office but now you can go and build the gay hardware store and the gay fire station and fly the gay millennium falcon i think we may have made legos what's the word fun and by the way you don't have to be gay to play with these god knows all i did growing up was play with overtly heterosexual action figures and i still turned out like morrissey's nephew you might think well who says the original legos weren't gay after all they wear bright colors and their hair is detachable so they're basically drag queens but it's nice not to have to pretend because being gay watch this is real it's people's lives it's not something the writers on will and grace invented in 1998 which is what i thought for a while the gayest toy i had growing up was light bright using just 50 pegs i turned my bedroom into studio 54. sorry dad but most of the time i was stuck playing with unbearably boring straight toys like ninja turtles do i look like someone who wants to say the word nunchucks i don't i don't or gi joe do we have anything in common he doesn't want to talk with me about the career of viola davis or like a game like monopoly where the only way to express your gayness was identifying as a thimble the closest i came to realizing i was gay as a kid was playing tomb raider and seeing hot busty lara croft beat up a mummy and thinking she's getting so much out of her anthropology degree i'd argue representation is as important in toys things we play with to imitate human experience as it is in tv or movies so enjoy your gay legos kids let this usher in the golden age of queer toys hopefully as an adult you'll be way less confused than me someone who still has a crush on the diver from mousetrap what a stud i'm taking him home with me thank you jimmy thank you lewis and good for legos for including everyone whereas i'll say this duplo still with that amish quaker style puritanical hetero missionary sex you get it right yeah yeah all right congratulations on making it to the end of a youtube video why not celebrate by clicking the subscribe button you earned it

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,387,754

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Pandemic, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social Distancing, Quarantine, Monologue, The Cletones, Studio Audience, Caleb and Chelsea, Guillermo, The Bachelorette, Australia, Jeff Bezos, Blue Origin, Donald Trump, Michael Cohen, Congress, Politics, Facemask, MTG, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Vaccine Cards, Legos, LGBTQ

Id: ZMb8zOtDwgw

Length: 12min 36sec (756 seconds)

Published: Thu May 20 2021