House of 1000 Corpses (2003) KILL COUNT

hey everybody before we get started i just have a couple of quick notes from my american viewers out there this year september is the last month to get your census in so please make sure that that's filled out for your household the only way our representative government works properly is with an accurate count of its population so again please double check and make sure that your household has submitted its census it only takes a few minutes to do online secondly while you're at it make sure that you're registered to vote do it now don't wait until the last minute because that might be too late depending on your state make sure that you're registered to vote and then go ahead and request a ballot right now and then fill it in and get it in so you don't have to worry about any postal service delays or anything like that we all deserve to have our voices heard alright on to the show welcome to the kill count where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies i'm james agenese and today we're looking at house of a thousand corpses released in 2003 house of a thousand corpses was the first film made by rob zombie who's kind of a horror sub genre all unto himself so far i've only covered his halloween remake from 2007 and its sequel from 2009 but if you remember those movies then you already have a good sense of his style which i can only describe as hell billy after his kick-ass 1998 solo debut album hellbilly deluxe the hellbilly style is gritty gory and nasty with lots of naked chicks excessive violence and real mean characters who swear even more than yours truly don't you fucking imitate me it's fucking rude fuck you fuck you zombie also has a tendency to inject music video-like style into his films and nowhere is that more prevalent than in house of a thousand corpses where it sometimes feels like half the run time is taken up by flashes to non-sequitur footage with extreme color grading the superfluity of the hellbilly style maxes out in corpses and gets toned down in its two sequels the devil's rejects which came out two years later in 2005 and three from hell which didn't come out until 2019. the three films are known as the firefly trilogy named after the sadistic family of sociopaths who kidnap torture murder and rape just about everyone they come across usually while laughing and or pontificating the trilogy is rob zombie's biggest work with many fans and even critics namely roger ebert having high praise for the second film the devil's rejects of course different people dig different things and if you're not into the grotesque it might be hard to stomach the fireflies personally i have mixed feelings about rob zombie movies i love his authentic point of view and i don't mind the vulgar dialogue though i am turned off by his gratuitous use of sexual violence truth be told though i actually really like house of a thousand corpses it's a wild carnival ride of a movie that merges americano with classic horror films which rob zombie has always been a fan of after all his music video for living dead girl was a direct homage to the classic german expressionist film the cabinet of dr caligari but because rob zombie gets so nasty so often i got a sponsor for today's episode to avoid any youtube fuckery raycon's earbuds offer premium sound with a noise isolating fit so you can tune out the rest of the world while you rock out to super beast with their convenient storage case they'll give you 24 hours of high quality sound through a seamless bluetooth connection i've been using them a lot lately as i pack up all my horror props ahead of my big move you can get raycon's everyday e25 earbuds for fifteen percent off by going to buy raycon.com deadmeat that's by raycon.com deadmeat for 15 off your order today i know this movie's title already did my job for me but fuck it let's get to the kills [Music] the movie begins with terror cause dr wolfenstein's on our screen [Music] [Applause] oh sorry wolfenstein i'm your host dr wolfenstein well make up your goddamn mind wolfie here inspired by regional horror hosts like vampira and the ghoul is played by the film's production designer greg gibbs rom zombie was originally going to play the character himself until he realized that wolfenstein's outfit looks too much like his regular everyday clothes he settled on a quick cameo as the hunchback assistant in any case wolfenstein isn't too important for plot purposes unlike this clowny motherfucker captain spalding spaulding is played by the late great sid hague whose career goes back to the 60s and who always seemed like an awesome guy despite how scary his characters could be they do it for the fans because without them we got nothing captain spalding runs a gas station in the fictional rugsville texas that also features a horror attraction and some delicious fried chicken it just tastes so damn good [Laughter] looks like a great place to stop by for some clown chow although that laughing animatronic outside sure is annoying [Music] it's late halloween eve in the year of our new hope and captain spalding shooting the shit with his pal stucky played by michael j pollard who we saw as dirty old herman and sleep away camp 3. as you will come to see rob zombie loves his character actors his casts are always amazing and in case you're wondering stuck he's just as crude as herman was once he got caught you know uh with a planet that aids doll stuck up his asshole god damn i love a good clown that knows how to have himself one good laugh or two for that matter a couple of criminals bust in through the doors failing to impress spalding you missable motherfucker ought to jump over this counter and bash your fucking balls in even with a gun in his face he remains unintimidated while this killer call guy demands the register money and begins a count of ten one fuck yo mama dude the robbers are further embarrassed when stuckey identifies the other guy as a neighborhood kid teased as little dick wick and the nail in this burglary's coffin comes in rhythmic repetitive editing spalding shoots dick wick in the head killing him as we learn where that obnoxious laugh for the clown outside came from spaulding then finishes killer carl's countdown for him first of all fuck you damn motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit the opening credits are basically an r-rated rob zombie music video which is just friggin fine with me dracula was my jam spalding's museum of monsters and madmen is visited by a car of young road trippers needing gas they immediately become entranced by the place's decor since they're writing a book about roadside attractions in middle america bill hudley is played by a 34 year old rayne wilson a full five years before the office premiered and yes my map is correct because although house of the thousand corpses was released in 2003 it was filmed in the year 2000 meaning it's also before this 29 year old chris hardwick blew up he plays bill's chucklefuck friend jerry goldsmith the story of how this movie got made is an interesting one in 1999 rob zombie partnered with universal to make a maze for halloween horror nights called the thrilling chilling world of rob zombie he then came up with a name for another maze the house of a thousand corpses and decided it would make for a good movie too even if he didn't know what it would be about i told him kind of a cool title with a completely half-assed idea that was making up as i was talking to them universal went for it giving zombie a ton of money and their historic backlot to shoot the film but after a test screening the studio dumped the film with chairperson stacy snyder fearing it was too extreme and would be rated nc-17 the universal fell apart because the chairman of universal said that the movie was a celebration of depravity and she just couldn't be part of that zombie actually bought back the rights to his own movie which doesn't happen very often and after a brief flirtation with mgm eventually found a distributor in lionsgate who was willing to take a chance with the movie remember in the early 2000s most mainstream horror films were still teen-oriented scream knock-offs rob zombie made something that was you know not that i'm a real horror movie fan so uh it was really great to finally get to do a real horror movie after all these years of watching all the crap that's been made captain spalding briefly gets aggressive towards bill accusing him of class condescension i just got to get me some education jerry you asshole but turns out he's just clowning around or is he he is or is he jerry and bill's girlfriends are also traveling with them a couple of wet blankets named denise willis and mary knowles really the only thing they get to do as characters is complain it's a bit of a bummer they take that negative attitude onto captain spalding's murder ride a push-powered parade of some famous real-life killers like albert fish lizzie borden and of course the lean mean horror movie inspiring machine ed gein their grease paint willy wonka ushers the travelers to the finale of this wonderfully designed kaleidoscoping experience a local rugsville legend doctor satan dr el doctor diablo worked at a mental hospital where he experimented on the patients until the town came together and hanged him for his crimes his body disappeared the next day and nobody knows what happened to him and that's the story of dr satan as bill's girlfriend mary scoffs and complains some more denise calls her suburban dad old matt damon interrupting his marathon of wolf and stevie stein she tells them where they are and that the pit stop is causing them to run late on their way to his house and they're not gonna get there any quicker after jerry makes spalding draw him a map to the tree where dr satan was hanged on their way to the macabre site they pick up a hitchhiker texas chainsaw style this woman is named baby and is played by sherry moon zombie rob's girlfriend during production wife by time the movie was released and kind of like his muse all the time you know i wonder what baby's thoughts would sound like in staticky lo-fi whatever you need to do you do it there is no wrong if someone needs to be killed you kill us yeah probably just like that these random vignettes that pop up frequently were filmed after the rest of the movie was shot and after universal had pulled the plug in an effort to finish his film zombie shot these segments including spalding's fried chicken commercial on a 16 millimeter camera in his basement with his own money the travelers are unable to make it to the same tree since that dude from the end of mid-summer aims at and shoots out their tire luckily baby says her house is nearby so she leads bill there to get some help hope they get there fast or else they'll miss this performance by bill moseley as baby's adopted brother otis b driftwood a kind of nihilist egotist who thinks chaos is the only proper response to our chaotic world an escapist from a conformist world destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained bill moseley who was previously on the kill count as the iconic chop top sawyer in texas chainsaw 2 music is my life gives a just as incredible performance throughout the entire firefly trilogy otis driftwood is an evil nasty man but damn is bill mosely good his captive audience right now is a group of cheerleaders kidnapped from rugsville high school two of them are seen to be dead already in a non-sequitur guitar-backed interlude baby and bill get to her house and after she shows him her creepy doll collection she takes him inside you may recognize the firefly family house if you frequent universal studios it's chicken ranch built for and featured in the best little whore house in texas and it currently resides on the back lot where the psycho house originally stood over some ass crack and marshmallows with coco baby and bill kind of flirt with each other ain't the only thing tasty in this house okay openly flirt and uh subliminally subconsciously flirt i don't know man at the car the others turn on the headlights to find the bear man man but they relax when they realize that this is baby's half brother rj short for rufus junior and he's got a tow truck ready that he uses to bring them back to his house inside they all meet mother firefly played by late 70s film icon karen black who's just as flirty as her daughter baby since it's gonna take rj a few hours to get them a new tire mama firefly insists the visitors join them for a halloween eve dinner and show baby gets ready for her performance while tormenting the surviving kidnap cheerleaders give me a b give me an a give me a b give me a y what's that spell what's that spell better get it right looks like the spelling bee losers here lose more than just their school spirit while recreating the dinner scene from texas chainsaw massacre the travelers meet another member of the firefly fam tiny who wears bandages around his head that's because when tiny was young his daddy firefly earl tried to burn down their house to expunge it from demonic possession tiniest played by matthew mcgrory who had acromegaly and who holds the guinness record for world's tallest actor standing seven foot six rob zombie asks how he could possibly make this chainsaw homage any more obvious and mama firefly writes down an answer for him grandpa hugo firefly is played by dennis fempel in his final film role before he died in a car accident in 2002 before the movie even came out damn at least he got a taste of what it's like to live in 2020 though everybody put on your masks otis shows up with a baby in a jar getting mama all excited and warns jerry not to pursue the matter of dr satan any further better you leave here with your head still full of kitty cats and puppy dogs the meal is messy and quick because grandpa's eager to get to his favorite premium cable station and it's not hbo grandpa hugo gives a not at all tight five a ribald performance that consists mostly of saying the word pussy and screaming into the microphone but he's just a warm-up act for tonight's big number a ghastly ghostly performance by baby boop that really gets the guys going [Music] mary's not a fan of this show's interactive elements though and violently pushes baby to the ground right before things get to full-on mastectomy mode fucking cut your tissue rj bursts in and declares that their car is finally fixed the foursome goes to leave but when bill gets out to open the gate he's attacked by a spooky scarecrow who beats him with a pipe jerry is also beaten down and then thrown into the windshield by a second scarecrow and after otis and tiny reveal themselves they then overpowered denise and mary this wet night of mayhem ends with some flashes of negative imagery and otis looking like insanity dufresne come morning denise's dad don willis is wondering where his daughter is so he calls up his old co-worker cher frank houston and asks him about captain spalding houston knows of the place since he was there getting gas in that opening scene so he sends two officers to spaulding's one-stop shop to question the clown deputy george weidel is played by larry redgrave who was an ill-fated security guard in the theatrical version of zombies halloween while officer steve nash is played by the wonderful walton goggins previously seen in the predator scale count as a nasty convict spalding confirms that he saw mary the previous night but says he doesn't know what could have happened to her and her friends stupid-ass kids probably got themselves turned around ass backwards and got they self lost mary wakes up inside a crudely decorated room with otis providing some socio-economic resentment for breakfast listen you malibu middle class barbie piece of shit i'm trying to work here work you ever work calm down otis you got the crazy eyes going on so uh that's probably just your default look huh bill would certainly agree that these folks are nuts since last night they tortured him slicing his face with a razor while dancing to the commodores just to be clear listening to the commodores isn't torture but a case could be made for listening to babies laugh also for cutting off bill's hand that's pretty torturing and they didn't just torture bill they killed him too turning him into fish boy as revealed to mary who reacts with very appropriate disbelief this can't be real this can't be real this can't be real this can't be real but it is real the fishboy creation was based on fiji mermaids an old pt barnum era sideshow attraction that was usually a mummified monkey body sewn to the ass end of a fish looks like rain wilson just stuck his upper half out of a fish boy suit that rob zombie still owns to this day i don't know for sure how the effects were done because sadly all this movie's behind the scenes footage and deleted scenes were lost meaning we'll never have a director's cut or an in-depth making of documentary that also explains why the blu-ray specials were just some basic black and white interviews and uh knock-knock jokes fish boy fish boy who tiny fuck the stuff heads up for sexual assault content cause here's where it starts though in this movie otis's actions are limited to forced kissing and licking it'll get a lot worse in the next two movies but i'll give proper warning when it does as mary's enduring that denise is having dreams of a deleted side plot involving a farmer whose wife was raped by a sasquatch-like skunk ape wonder why that got cut her psychedelic dream ends with a dr satan jump scare [Music] and she wakes up tied to the bed dressed like a goddamn grady girl at least tiny's here to bring her breakfast in bed ah he's just as thoughtful as andy barkley that tiny firefly almost as adorable too much nicer than otis who tosses denise into a cage where she's attacked by oh no not dirty laundry golems jerry is hanging out with the creature when baby stops by to pay him a visit hey poopypants what's new well eating hair is pretty new never done that before just now oh and getting scalped that's new too jerry ends up shorn and tied to the wall where otis uses him for knife throwing practice while watching the monsters why dell and nash eye bill's car on the side of the road and when they open the trunk they find a patented rob zombie naked dead chick another of the kidnapped cheerleaders later identified as karen murphy wait why is treat trick carved into her skin i always thought it was trick or treat the officers are joined by don willis an ex-cop himself but they are not joined by a guy named lewis dover who ain't no rich man but he knows the truth you don't have to go to hell you're in an app this is hell this is how this is how cool uh a question for rob zombie what the fuck was that the cops make a nightmare trip to the firefly house where wydell knocks on the front door to meet mother firefly who flashes him her cleavage and yellow teeth before letting him into her home don willis and officer nash go around back where they hear a noise coming from a locked up shed they break it open to discover mary's surrounded by more naked dead chicks there are three bodies here all cheerleaders but since an earlier news report mentioned five missing cheerleaders and since i've already counted four i'll just take this opportunity to count the final missing cheerleader as dead i can't tell who i've already counted since some of the earlier bodies were shown in lo-fi but i hope that reasoning makes sense as slim whitman's rendition of i remember you plays nash radios for wydell which gets the deputy killed when mother firefly shoots him through the neck with a chief special don starts running but he's shot through the back twice and dies face down in a puddle as happy christmas memories play of him and his family including denise and a good boy whitman's yodels continue to fill the soundtrack as otis moves in to execute officer nash which he'll do right as soon as the song ends yep any minute now i mean we know it's coming so uh otis hey hey otis hey guy i've got a kill count to continue here so could we please just jesus christ man come on thank you good god it's time for the night to get wild and to kick things off baby and rj go to red hot pussy lickers to stock up on booze yeah we like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit then otis gets to face skinning bathed in red light because tonight's festivities call for everyone to wear a costume and otis has got the daddiest one of all i'm the one who brings the christmas candy now tell me who's your daddy well jim jenise but i can see that you are in fact dressed as denise's daddy otis man you're such a boogeyman dude it's all true the boogeyman is real and you found him the firefly family takes their bunny rabbit costumed captives out to a foggy field and after mocking jerry's pleas for mercy and sexually assaulting him with a forced kiss the fireflies toss him into a casket marry the bunny books it and baby chases after her while a vignette of otis confirms that this is not their first human hunt they all run like scary little rabbits [Music] this rabbit does run right into a graveyard presumably filled with other firefly family victims it's a place mary will soon be joining as baby leaps onto her and stabs her to death it's not all bad though at least mary doesn't have to listen to that godforsaken giggling anymore denise is put alongside jerry in the casket and the fireflies lower it underground followed by a lantern with a tape deck that apparently summons some zombies and that or mud golems the mud golems tear apart the casket and abduct jerry after which they slink back underwater and leave denise behind above ground otis finishes changing into some high priest attire and prepares a funeral pyre they light mary's body on fire completing their family's halloween ritual and what did it do who fucking knows man if it's anything like most rituals probably nothing underground denise is seized and stripped of her rabbit suit by a couple of old dirty bastards then experiences some vertigo in a tunnel filled with skeletons look at these bastard skellies thinking they're so free without the burden of skin you ain't better than me you fucks denise ends up in a full-on underground house of horrors full of production design that worked great for this movie's maze at halloween horror nights in 2019 rob and sherry moon zombie visited the park to see the maze and the irony of universal having this after refusing to distribute the movie did not escape him the house of a thousand corpses was a little movie made with universal studios that got dumped by universal studios and now it's a giant event at university that must be hard to see it here very strange it's cute to watch them get scared by their own creations and to see sherry jumping around with the baby scare actor they must have loved the maze as much as i did i mean the thing was awesome hey speaking of dr satan mary just found him he's got jerry as a patient and is not at all concerned about malpractice suits because even though jerry's still sputtering a bit here the boy's as good as dad in enters earl the steampunk goggle-wearing arsonist father of tiny we can just call him the professor though because earl firefly is a pretty goober name professor earl chases denise away from dr satan which is a real shame i wanted to see more of that dude and he's sadly not in the sequels he was supposed to be in devil's rejects ripping out rosario dawson's neck but the scene was cut because zombie thought the character looked stupid in that much more realistic film sucks for actor walter phelan who sat through the character's 15-hour makeup process all for naught denise runs through the underground labyrinth but is eventually cornered by the professor who approaches her in a split diopter shot and takes off his mask so he can spit up some phlegm yummy effects artist wayne top designed the very heavy professor costume that jake mckinnon wore while portraying the character he could hardly see in it which made it pretty dangerous when he swung this real ax at denise's actor aaron daniels she avoids the strike and it brings down debris that seemingly crushes professor earl firefly in fact many places online count this as a death not me though morning comes and denise carries herself away from the professor's prone body then carries herself above ground hoping to put this nightmare behind her she makes it out to a road and flags down a car driven by captain spalding who apparently has a hard time getting all that grease paint off each night he says that'll take her to a doctor so she can just sit back and relax it's all good denise ain't nothing left to worry about no mo well almost nothing the movie ends with a slow motion knife raise and denise finding herself a captive of dr satan and the professor which is why i didn't count him as dead i will count denise though how many people died and was it actually a full 1000 let's find shit out y'all i gotta run 14 people died in house of a thousand corpses which makes the movie title a bit of a misnomer ah the victims consisted of seven guys and seven girls and even split though i'm having trouble remembering how many of each were naked huh i'm sure it was also even right with a run time of 89 minutes that left us with a kill on average every 6.36 minutes i'll give the golden chainsaw for coolest kill to bill even though it was technically an off-screen kill dude was turned into fishboy that's a better prank than jim could have ever hoped to do dull machete for leima's kill will go to the first two cheerleaders seen dead on a bed and that's it house of 14 corpses came out in 2003 though it was filmed three years earlier in 2000 it would take rob zombie less time than that to make a sequel which i'll look at next week until then i'm james agenese this has been the killcow thanks a lot for watching this kill count for a house of a thousand corpses i want to thank some patrons like jonathan wilkins romulus fame jay sal andrew wantula mads jorgensen mike o'donnell and kimberly hope it just tastes so damn good thanks everyone be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 2,401,966

Rating: 4.9537606 out of 5

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, house of 1000 corpses, DMKC, house of 1000 corpses review, rob zombie, house of 1000 corpses ending, house of 1000 corpses rob zombie, dead meat house of 1000 corpses, kill count house of 1000 corpses, rob zombie movie, firefly film, best horror, horror film, house of 1000 corpses reaction, 1000 corpses, 1000 corpses rob zombie, 1000 corpses ending, zombie, james

Id: fE3j_ghacoo

Length: 28min 7sec (1687 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 04 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Sethal4395]

Never seen this movie, but damn if Doctor Satan isn't one of the coolest looking horror movie characters I've seen. We def needed more of him. DOCTOR SATAN!!

[u/maxllatsa32]

Can’t wait to watch this one! Could never be bothered to watch any of Rob Zombies films ahah

[u/ColtPersonality92]

Alright so I love these movies. Shoutout to 1000 Corpses for having some of the best DVD menus ever.

Also I believe the little side ramblings by Baby and Otis were based on the Manson Family tapes.

Got my favorite of the trilogy next week! 3 From Hell may be my least favorite, but that’s mostly because of how recent it came out.

[u/[deleted]]

shut up about his hair you fucking dumb dumbs

[u/FriskeyVsWorld]

DOCTOR SATAN!

[u/L0RD_3DGE]

Hate to nitpick, but James got Sheriff Wydell’s actor’s name wrong.

[u/Hellbeast1]

Damn I didn’t even know they made one of these just last year

[u/junoray1968]

Oh yeah I can't wait to see this one

[u/acidfalconarrow]

i was so confused when he said Denise’ dad was old Matt Damon, i looked it up and he plays the old-man version of Matt Damon’s (title) character in Saving Private Ryan