HILARIOUS Childhood Stories | PKA & Dick Masterson

and we're live they beat him back a few times i don't think they didn't kill her i remember talking my last memory with the silver surfer is going over to a friend's house and playing action figures and i had this really cool looking bane with like all the wires plugged into the back of his head yeah and he wanted to like play the lore of like well i'm playing the silver surfer and he can eat or he can fly a million miles an hour and so actually before you can even punch him he's gonna fly so fast at him that he'll disintegrate and it was like a question alex you're a [ __ ] and i don't want to play with you is is this the same kid that laid the fat turds no different kids different kids okay you had you hung out with quite the crowd you had your own little group of avengers i was a weird kid like you got a good memory yeah i wasn't i was an odd kid i don't know if i remember playing with action figures were you like 13 14 years this is last year three days ago monday oh yeah i just remember always thinking like this is so stupid like look at how big bane's arms are of course he can beat you up like we can't play all these rules coming i did the same thing with a buddy of mine eric who i wanted to play with his really expensive toy set up that he wasn't supposed to play with because his dad like collected them and i i'm not bullied well a little bullied was like come on dude you're gonna look at these toys you never play with these toys these gi joes and these toy soldiers and they have him right into it and then i remember like i was like picking all my pieces and setting up my army and everything cool and he was like while you were picking all those i went to my dad's other cabinet and got the challenger space uh bomber and so i'm gonna fly above where your anti-air can even reach and blow up everything you had and it was like this is this isn't how games are played like this is kind of a wow okay it's kind of an [ __ ] huh i never went back to his house that guy sucked yeah yeah i don't think i'd want to play any action figure games with him i didn't play with action figures afterwards it was [ __ ] weird and i remember as we were playing sitting down in his basement and like his brother was just watching this play being a little weird and then just out of nowhere we're playing and his brother just sit on the couch and goes that just threw up like peanut butter and jelly as we're playing we just here just look over and and my friend acted like oh now he just does that sometimes see i didn't grow up with brothers so i didn't get that i need to play any games like that and do stuff like that unless i have a friend over something yeah yeah i never got that stuff so most of the games and stuff i did i had to find stuff that i could do by myself so i was in you know video games or like play some make-believe where you're like the ship commander and you've got all your houses electronics just pushing [ __ ] buttons on a vcr like you're [ __ ] flying a spaceship it was rough that's why i got into guns there was there wasn't much else to do i went did you ever have that when you were where your parents were like all right outside time and you're just like all right i'm just going to kind of walk into the woods what can i imagine what am i oh i'll be aragorn or oh i'll be and you just make up a story no that's super lame [Laughter] all the time yeah it would be like all right outside time and i'd stand with my brother and be like somehow we get airstrikes in the woods disappeared after i became a parent we've never been able to just be like all right kids get out it wouldn't let us back in until really oh straight up yeah taylor i had those same rules yeah it was like there's no way you're watching tv on set i tried to pop back in at like four to be like oh i'm gonna grab a soda they'd be like you you thought we wouldn't be in the kitchen and you're gonna try and watch tv and it's like [ __ ] back outside i go yeah we have never just rules told our kids to go outside and not come back and it would have made parenting easy i imagine that's why they did it i went to this one guy's house once who had a brother he actually had a younger brother and an older brother and that had shaped them into different kinds of human beings than i was used to like we went down to their basement and their basement was like a big play room there was a big pool table in the middle of the room and there were just toys scattered everywhere just of every kind everything from like he-man swords to legos and i guess i'm maybe 11 or 12 something like that formative years and we were going to play with some toys and then all of a sudden the lights flipped off and it's completely dark and i'm kind of i've never been in this room before so i'm just like hey hey where where uh where'd you guys go when i just hear and shuffling and shuffling of feet like like like and i'm just like i know i'm afraid i'm like what the [ __ ] is this i am in a basement this is kind of scary and i'm barefooted and i'm [ __ ] stepping on legos and [ __ ] like like trying to get toward the the door trying to get out they have this is a game they play it's called blackout mode or some [ __ ] where they arm themselves and then cosplay as [ __ ] ninja turtles or he-man or whatever is like a power ranger and they just beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of each other in the dark they come across the back of my knees with a he-man sword and take me down see that's fun that's good old-fashioned fun that was terrifying mm-hmm yeah i'm like i never got in big fist fights with my brothers or anything like part of it because i was always so much bigger it just wasn't an option yeah but that's not how that was as the younger brother i can tell you it doesn't it was like actually i did have four brothers before the accident i will say the only times i gave my brother a concussion it was on accident it was never malicious but i was at a friend's house once and like i thought the whole like brothers beating the [ __ ] out of each other was more of a meme where it's like yeah you'll get into tussle where like you're wrestling you're [ __ ] around but once they're on the ground you're not just gonna start laying hammers into their face and i guess this guy this must have been middle school i went over to his house the first time and i think he had that and it was like you know when someone invited you to their house a lot and you didn't really want to hang out with them that much and eventually you do and they're in like impress this person mode like and so it was like that and he he was like from southern arkansas or something and so he was you know his name was josh his brother was jared or something he was like jared where's the other uh where's the other and 64 controller i got one yeah where's yours taylor needs another we're playing mario kart i ain't giving you that [ __ ] controller you broke the the the nub off mine last time i let you use it jared you bring that [ __ ] control and i was at this one like there's parents in the house you can't say that bring that [ __ ] controller down or i'm gonna come get it up there and i was like you know we can go inside or something's like mario kart i just got it we're playing and so he goes up there he's like follow me we're getting that controller we go up there and i thought it was going to be like a hey i got it [ __ ] like that kind of thing he went in there and his brother had the controller like like sitting on it you know in like defensive we've done this before posture and then they got into honest-to-god fist fight in front of me eating the [ __ ] out of each other and the one guy ends it by because he wrestled he's on the wrestling team with me he's got his younger brother's arm in like the bent behind his back but in the raised bend behind his back like he could break it out of the elbow any time he's like you're gonna hold that on that controller anymore you gonna give my friends controllers and they come over and it's like this is i don't even want to play mario kart a lunatic an absolute lunatic i remember because i wrestled with him in the same way we didn't have enough wrestlers in middle school he was at 125 pounder i was a 135 pounder and there was no one nowhere else for this other guy to go we had a 160 pounder with us and this little guy josh was so much better than both of us thank god he liked me there were times where i thought he was going to do that same thing and break my arm but he absolutely bullied the [ __ ] out of this other kid and tried to include me in it or be and this other kid all i had was the kid i was always nice as [ __ ] to because i knew if someone was going to show up with an ar one day it would have it might have been this gentleman and i wanted to be to be safe you want to go to the green list yeah i wanted to make the green list and i i always imagined you know oh taylor don't come to school tomorrow like that kind of thing from yeah because yes would you tell or would you just not show up i would absolutely tell i wouldn't show up and i would tell oh come on if someone told you they're going to shoot up your school you wouldn't tell well what if you were what if they didn't shoot it up they chickened out and you look like such a jerk yeah having told everybody showing you favor right he's recognizing that you're a chill dude and you're just gonna immediately go turn that on his head and rat him out he's way cooler to you than you are to him yeah yeah what if it's your best friend he's testing you to see if you belong on the list you're a bad friend you know what you're right the first threat i'll play along [Laughter] yeah yeah do do that yeah i got a sister so i grew up in a world without violence uh but i have i think there's nine boy cousins on my mexican side uh i remember when my god i think we were like 10 through 10 through probably 17 and we were all hanging out at a family reunion we're all hanging out at my parents house and we found um we found two pairs of boxing gloves in the garage i don't know why my parents had them they should have locked them up like a fire extinguisher when all of us were around but it was um we put them on and decided to do some amateur boxing in the garage even though there was like two years between all of us one of the sets was these comically large 16-ounce gloves and the other ones were like these little eight-ounce gloves so the bigger kids uh when we were intel you know we weren't working on our smarts that we were you know kind of cobbling together smarts but we thought that because the bigger kids were stronger that they should have the smaller gloves and the little kids because they were lacking in power should have the yeah it works like big video game like buffs yeah so it was i mean the first fight was like my oldest cousin and his brother and it was a really savage beatdown that i still r that i still remember those whipping those spider arms with eight ounce gloves down on his little brother uh with the punishing him with the impunity of well we both agreed to this so it's totally fine um that that didn't last long i lived in ocean city so i was probably about 14 or so and i made a friend who was strong right he just he hit puberty and just [ __ ] hulked out even though he was 14 and he was my friend i on the other hand looked 11. so he came over and my brother was like you know just being an older brother like low grade bullying or whatever how much older is he than you two years um so and my friend is like what oh no no that's not how this goes and my friend is more than happy to engage with my older brother even though he's two years older he's like i'm your huckleberry so we end up like to be wanting my brother we hold him down we're giving him cherry belly you know oh yeah yeah my brother had a bit of a weight problem so it was like just like rock it is tell me woody the whole time you were slapping were you chanting pink belly pink belly pink cherry belly in my area but okay yeah you know and and just all sorts of like just like bullying like we didn't hurt him but i got to win so you heard him he he thinks about this every night before bed oh well to hang in there so my parents are like you know woody we don't like that you guys did this and i'm like what what i've been losing fights for 14 years you didn't think [ __ ] about that what the [ __ ] i finally win a fight and now we have rules no no that's not how this goes and they're like yeah two [ __ ] their ass yeah you know they were like yeah i guess i guess we let him kick your ass for 14 years you win you know fair is fair it panned out yeah so uh that man hears cherry if he hears cherry belly tonight he's gonna [ __ ] flinch dude i don't know you [ __ ] with the same guy for decades you deserve it how about another joke every school shooter that's what every school shooter says what do you get when you take a socially distant loner and put him in a society that abandons him this is what they need is this from the joker it sounds like yep yeah yeah another great movie i need to rewatch that again really you get along better with younger siblings woody with your shared trauma i only have an older brother is that did that answer your question no like other people who are the younger one do you get along with them uh well maybe my wife's the youngest yeah there you go yeah actually whenever i meet an older sibling i'm like yeah yeah [ __ ] them right [ __ ] the little ones yeah totally all right they [ __ ] [ __ ] all the time they [ __ ] all the [ __ ] time they don't understand how much trail had to be blazed by us down for 14 years and abused them and now they're like stop it i remember just the amount of [ __ ] my brothers would get away with that never would have flied when i was their age i remember my youngest brother was in fourth grade he's seven years younger than me and when he was going to some school and maybe halfway through the school year my mom was like this school [ __ ] sucks we're taking him out and my dad's like what do you what do you mean we're taking them out like just leave them in there until the next school year and we'll switch to schools and she was like nope i'm going to homeschool them for the rest of the year we're taking him out and he was so young at the time but he still had the cognition to be like this is a [ __ ] dope deal for me and he knew that she would be too busy with those stuff and just not wanting to teach and so she would give him things like uh she told him hey you need to read tom sawyer and write a book report on it and i remember going down there one day and she would give inordinately long amounts of time because she didn't want to teach him to do these projects she'd be like you got a month read tom sawyer and write a book report and i remember going down there once and seeing him and opening it up and seeing him looking back at me hoping it wasn't his mom or dad as he's playing with his legos and he's like jesus taylor i gotta be honest with you i haven't read any of tom sawyer i've been playing with legos for eight weeks you're probably like and i was like you know what that means of course i need you to go get me a soda and so for the longest time like like months and months after that when even when he was back in regular school he he spark noted and wrote something i don't even think my mom read the book to see if he did and and so any time we wanted something from him for like he was at the age where he thought like you know even two years later when he was 10 or whatever he still thought that was a huge deal so it'd be like we just code word we'd say get this for me no screw you tom sawyer tom saw and then he would go and do it for years see i misunderstood i thought when you told him to go get you a soda you were sitting down to write him a book report because you're a good brother no no i was saying go get me out or i'm going to tell my favorite reading this whole thing i thought you were like i read it three years ago go get me a soda i'll start to work no no you're just immediately segueing to blackmail yeah and it worked i got a lot of sodas and snacks jackie's that's older sibling vibe right there i knew right away taylor oh yeah you got him you got him right where you want him he's [ __ ] dead your rights you're done kid he'll even look back now and be like do you guys remember when you just made me do chores for you for years because i'm tom sawyer i was like yeah you should just read the [ __ ] book dude sisters she was the youngest of three and uh they always did nice things for each other you know if you wanted that one would just be like hey will you make me a tea and they're like yeah yeah sure i can do that 30 years later i'm still on that train i could ask her for a coffee right now she does it it's just the culture in their family it's nice nice people yeah god come on oh kyle you were so calculated like you wouldn't have done exactly what i did but depend if i'd read tom sawyer before it seems like it's much it's going to be more more conducive to like a good living environment if i write the book report for him which would be easy for me and then he would just do things for me because i wrote him a book report and you have stronger blackmail he eventually wrote his own book report right no no he like he like lifted from spark notes jesus christ like just just straight up like so homeschooling didn't go so well huh no you went back to school the next year and this is the same the same brother who he was like he actively didn't want to do well in grade school it'd be like third fourth grade and it'd be like you're about to fail fourth grade like how and he's like i'm just not doing any of the homework they're like yeah you're not doing it do you not know how to do it he's like no i know how to do it like but so you're just not doing it correct that was the in high school they told me like yeah he just was like i don't [ __ ] care and would not do the school work and would go in with like a folder full of undone work every day throw it in front of the teacher that he hated and be like and like his punishment at one point for that this is before he got pulled out of the school was every day you come home from school you go in your room and you read the bible until dinner and then you go to bed and he had hundreds of dollars of legos in his room and once again after like a month of that of continued punishment i would like walk in on accident or not knocking first and just he would admit like hey taylor i haven't read even a page of the bible i've i don't know how mom and dad don't know what's going on because every time they come in here this like dope castle and building gets better and better don't you think they do don't you think they're gonna read the bible code for get out of my hair i could just see like my dad getting home from a stressful day at work and just being like i don't care i don't i don't i don't care i'm gonna go enjoy my dinner and sit down with a glass of wine or something but yeah he he got away with murder that would have never flown for me like if i got an even if i got like a b minor try no no i just test them never like i was always pretty good with school i would get stressed out if i didn't have tasks completed so i would like go through my list and get stuff done and then i would enjoy myself i i never understood how he could do that how anyone could do that like in college i had so many friends who ended up dropping out because they'd be like it's sunday night just off a three-day drinking bender huge paper due in the morning don't care right boys and it's like what's wrong with you like this isn't free like this is this is really expensive to be here man like you're just throwing money in the toilet if you're not passing your classes but anyway that was good times good times everyone should have younger siblings or siblings i feel bad for only children because they don't yeah they're just doing nothing when i was when i was uh like four my uh my little sister fell in the swimming pool and she was drowning and uh and i got my dad's attention and he saved her life i've regretted that moment almost what three decades 30 years yeah yeah 30 years later if i could go back if i could just have that one [ __ ] marty mcfly moment where i could go back and fix things that's the moment i'm going back to and and i i find little kyle he's like daddy and i was like grab the rest kyle why are you throwing flotation stones at your sister yeah that yet yeah then you could have been an only child yes oh that would have been so much better double the inheritance it's like she doesn't get anything oh well i you know i'm not privy to your father's will i am ah it's good that he has a will yeah everyone should make a will because it's a pain in the ass for everyone around you if you die and you don't have a will oh yeah you should do that what about like a riddle will do you recommend that at all [Laughter] three stones i want to have a push-up that would be the ultimate thing if you're like a billionaire with a will just a fake puzzle a fake puzzle that doesn't lead anywhere that would be hilarious like you could do that with like 100 bucks like somebody's going to want to do it you know no matter how dude it's funny or if it's lower because you get dumber people to do it yeah you know for 15 dollars you get some real fools to have a work in that art and

Channel: PKA Clips

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Keywords: pka, pka clips, pka highlights, painkiller already, painkiller already clips, painkiller already podcast, painkiller already highlights, FPSRussia, WoodysGamertag, pka podcast, pka clip, kyle pka, FPSRussia PKA, PKA highlight, pka podcast highlights, PKA 511 Dick Masterson - Boogie and Frank Hassle Battle, Taylor's Huge Log, Supernatural, Childhood, childhood stories

Id: YA96XTJ5ua0

Length: 22min 41sec (1361 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 04 2020