Has Anyone Married Their Back Up Plan? How'd That Work Out?

has anyone married their backup plan if so did it work out i did it started off as an honest joke we set 30 as the age we were 21 we kept lowering the age to see how far we could take the joke one night we both realized how weird it would be to be married to someone else and still be best friends with each other it turns out we couldn't imagine anyone else we would give up our close friendships for so the age got moved down to 21 and we decided we better get cracking on wedding plans we never dated just went straight from best friends to partners for life we have been married 13 years and no matter how hard things get we have always been best friends neither of us would trade it for the world not my story but my one of my best friends she made a pact with her longtime roommate that if they didn't find anyone by the time he turned 30 she's a few years younger that they would get married well that time came and they indeed got married it was interesting for me to watch at first they agreed that having extramarital partners was fine they were after all just friends however the two started to get intimate now they claim to love each other and neither wants to cheat it's really cute and amazing how their feelings seem to change whenever i was younger my backup plan was always video games i would tell myself well if we do break up i'll have so much more time to play video games the first week was always the best games all night and all weekend yet eventually you find yourself in your dim lit nerd nook and you shut down your computer and you catch your reflection in the deep black void of your monitor and you realize well frick tl dr do not make your backup plan a computer you can only fap so much that's why i switched to mac screens so you only see a blurry image of a person that you don't recognize looking back at you i wouldn't call him my backup plan so much but i will say that i thought i settled i'd always imagined myself with a very intelligent motivated funny outgoing attractive man and i dated lots of those so it was a reasonable thought however all my relationships had turned into drama cheating verbal abuse and my own drama of my insecurities i finally decided to give a reasonably attractive quiet humble stable guy a chance i thought i was settling i was wrong i wasn't settling that was the best decision i could have ever made happily married to normal i have had her if we are ever 30 and single packed with a good friend of mine since we were young i grew up with her and we have a little bit of history she was technically my first kiss kindergarten but i was quite the catch in kindergarten so i can't blame her the crazy fact is that we are now 27 and single and we both pretty openly joke about the ones we are thirty thing i guess i'll edit this post in three years and let you know if it happens or not pre-2015 i don't think she had it planned out in kindergarten to marry me we did play house quite a bit but who doesn't at that age we were in our teens when we made the pact i came from parents who married in their early 20s so i figured 30 was old at the time she has always been a girl i would say was out of my league but at this point it's just a confusing part of my life she brings up the pact quite often and even our parents know about it to some extent the most confusing part is that my friends tell me just to go for it but when i try to include her in our events parties she often says she will make it but never shows i don't know it's a little confusing and has left me putting less stock in this whole 30-pack thing but yeah i don't know what i'm doing at this point i just wanted to make a note that even though i am currently single doesn't mean i'm not happy i have a great job a house friends and no one telling me what i can or can't do i would actually enjoy dating more now with less stress in my life than ever before but i also kinda like my life how it is anyone saying to just go for it and ask her out in no way am i worried about her saying no to this idea in fact i'm sure she would go for it but i guess the pressure of the whole thing gets to me our families are close we are friends and so on all right i feel like i'm making excuses so am i making too big of a deal out of this if it all goes to heck who cares right i may just move this plan forward a few years and see what happens good or bad i'll let you know how it goes comma she brings up the pact quite often dude she is clearly hinting that she is open to starting a relationship with you now instead of waiting until 30 ask her out on a date and see where it goes i guess that i technically fit into this category i was interested in a girl for a while and was working on getting a date when another guy snatched her up i ended up with the girl i liked best friend eight years of dating led to two years worth of marriage and still going strong couldn't be happier with how it worked out crap your best dong block ever i have a backup plan but it's got nothing to do with having a plan b potential marriage partner more of a support system if i and my friend aren't married to anyone by a certain age then we plan to move in together and support each other i believe the term for this back in the day was boston marriage i am soon to marry my version of a backup plan we've known each other since the sixth grade became sort of weird friends in high school we were friends with different cliques and circles so while we were friends we would occasionally for public opinion be mean to each other i was at the time super obsessed with this girl who i thought i loved that girl and i had been in a really odd relationship mostly due to her being a fundy fast forward senior year it's prom time and fundy girl who i was still quite obsessed with and i had hit the rocks like a week before prom crap crap crap all the while i knew my backup plan had been wanting to go with me i had blown her off repeatedly while i wasn't surprised at the time to this day i still can't believe she agreed to go with me when i came with my tail between my legs we went to prom at a decent time though it was still overshadowed by the obvious heir of your my second choice fast forward some more early 20s now high school has ended we sort of lost touch she married a guy she met mostly to get away from her crazy parents he was abusive crazy marine ended up having a kid from failed marriage she moved home we went on a few dates here and there nothing super serious ever i knew she still loved me had all along but at the time she was a new mother i was still young and dumb it just wouldn't have worked and she knew it fast forward again mid-20s now we reconnect real casual at first then it starts to get more serious real quick like i would think this is odd but we've dated before and known each other practically our whole lives she's been living with her parents and now her young son parents are still batshit but she's kinda trapped one night about a month into dating it really hits the fan with them she comes over late at night with kid all upset have to figure out a plan going back clearly ain't going to work put her and kid up in nice hotel for a little bit kicked out the lecherous roommates moved her and kid in i honestly didn't know how it would play out at the time i cared for her for sure even loved her but moving someone in with you with kid too is not an easy thing especially after such a short time fast forward 3 years push in 30 now lived happily together this whole time always found mature ways to settle any differences while being the best parents we know how to be i've become dad though kiddo knows i'm not biological couldn't be happier she's arguably the best thing to happen to me i love her to death and she loves me more we still joke to this day about the whole backup plan and we keep a prom picture on our nightstand tl dr backup plan in a non-conventional sense worked for us you are no longer allowed to man the remote too much fast forwarding i always felt like when people set up plan b's or made comments like that secretly one of them had feelings for the other and typically there was a good chemistry between the two people since you're already friends i don't think this ever really plays out the obstacles are pretty large two people not finding anyone else staying in close contact the duration remembering the pact and feeling hopeless enough to honor the pact your best bet is that you set the pact and then you go your separate ways and then get back together again sometime in the future and date each other without expectation of honoring the pact yes this is exactly it i used to joke with my friend now husband that we should get married if we were 40 and single newer pme ended up in divorce after one one stroke two years probably the worst relationship mistake i've made simply because she refused to sign papers and drew out the whole divorce six months longer than it should have taken just to pee me off never get married from a broken heart married the rebound guy here can vouch for this now divorced i dated my husband during high school for about a month after that he maintained that he loved me and wanted to be with me but i was head over heels for another guy when i was in my second year of college and single again he came back into my life we were sort of not really dating at that time and my life was pretty much going to crap i was failing out of college and was suffering from uncontrolled depression after we had been hanging out for a couple weeks he had to go to boot camp because he had joined the navy this was in may for the next year he was gone and in military training in july he proposed october we were married and march i was moving across the country and leaving home for the first time over the course of one year this guy who had been my best friend and stuck by me for years even though i didn't want him i'm talking ultimate friend zone situation saved me from myself and offered me a way out we hurried the marriage so i could get insured so i could get treated i think my intentions were selfish because i was in such bad shape i was hoping to have a better life with him in a new place but i did love him since then my love for him as my best friend has grown into a more true love that has bonded us beyond anything i expected it'll be seven years in october and though it's been hard sometimes i truly think that this is where i meant to be and i'm very happy i think the way we started is preferable to obsession intoxication and all the other things that come with relationships that wear off eventually tldr married bffs from high school went better than expected i thought you were gonna say your name was jenny and from greenbow alabama i suppose i fit into this category i loved my current husband years before i met him in person we met via yahoo chat when we were 14 but he lived 800 miles away and neither of us thought anything would come of it we were our best friends i met someone in college and we got married i told my current husband about it and he was sweet and encouraging and wished us the best of luck we continued to be friends through my marriage which ended up being a bust when my ex cheated after we divorced i met my current husband in person two months later he moved in two years after that we got married i'm happier than i've ever been i don't know if my ex-husband counts as plan b or if my current husband does but it hardly matters whatever plan it was it worked out i did it did not i'm on a second marriage now to a woman who would most definitely have not been a backup plan i'm much happier i hate thinking about the time where i put him second because in retrospect he should have been my first i love him so much and have never been happier if i had stayed with the first choice my depression would be spiraling out of control and i would have no direction or drive or hope in my life i don't deserve this guy but i'm trying my hardest and somewhat succeeding to be a better person to for him and myself yes my ex-fiancee left me after cheating on me repeatedly i couldn't can't actually ten years later still can't get over her so i married plan b had a kid divorced after five years met the girl i almost dated back in high school 12 years later at a party and we'll be getting married soon she's the best thing to ever happen to me sue plan b failed wait for someone to surprise you although this story is primarily very sad i enjoyed reading it more than any of the others yeah i think it is the last sentence there was a niyama by a guy who did exactly this a while back i don't feel like finding it again but after reading it me and my friend decided to be each other's backup plans for more years and i just may be married i'll keep you all posted i had a backup plan we were going to marry each other when we were 30 we joke about it all the time we went on a few dates but i could never break out of that free zone with her then a year and a half before 30 she decides she's in love with my best friend they're married now and i'm 30 and alone super trusty sidekick i am of those people who have a backup plan we agreed to marry at 35 i am 26 now she will be 26 in december we know since the seventh grade 2001 i think so it's only nine years remaining whoop whoop she is my only real female friend i can tell everything that is what i love her for as a friend oh i really do want to know if this is capable of being a true love story dude if you are in love with her don't wait nine years tell her now or face the regret tl dr best friend absolute perfect girl for me hardcore lesbian only boy she'd switch sides for both see each other as wide and husband rather than boyfriend and girlfriend made the pact in junior year high school currently junior year college thousands of miles away we joke about it and are serious about it with her mom a bunch we're not married yet but have a kid this all takes place over the course of a decade we met at work when he was 16 me 18 he always had a crush on me but i never felt anything other than friendship so we jokingly made a pact that when i turned 30 cuz that was a million years away and if we were both single we would get married life progressed with our friendship and various dating partners between us we lost contact here and there we quit working together he had multiple girlfriends who hated me because of his crush i was oblivious i had a couple boyfriends some great some not so i regret the next paragraph but it is what it is my previous boyfriend and i were very serious we were engaged actually bought a house together i should have opened my mouth and said i wasn't ready but i didn't happened to go to a birthday party for my friend's daughter my old friend who i hadn't talked to in forever was there we started talking again then texting them then yeah yada yada my fiancee found out and i moved out we sold the house don't speak anymore and i started dating my friend i don't regret that we started seeing one another just that i was a crappy girlfriend about how we got there we're now engaged i'm 30 still not married packed broken and have a beautiful 8 month old girl life's a funny thing if you had told me this was going to be my future 10 years ago i would have laughed at you now i'm so thankful i am every girl's backup plan so far this has happened to me four times we date have great chemistry everything goes extremely well i meet their parents or we get more serious and shabbat them after all the hard work friendzoned with the promise that i'm perfect marriage material and they'd marry me in a heartbeat after they've experienced life or whatever lame excuse for freaking other guys they've come up with none of them have gone on to get married and almost every one of them calls me when crap goes sour with whichever douchebag they are with screws them over so around age 30 you're gonna start beating back a bunch of women with a stick kind of related i had a friend that really wanted kids and decided that if she wasn't married by 35 but had a good job she would get ivf she hit 35 had no man in her life and went for it she ended up having twins and her mom moved in with her to help her with the babies she's happy the kids are sick now and she's married seriously there's literally no reason to get married unless you want to spend the rest of your life with someone or at least five eight years of it it's not a requirement you're not a bad person if you don't get married and you're definitely not a bad person if you don't have kids it's all about social pressures and quite often the people pressuring you to get married are the ones who are miserable in their current situation i've been married i'm not now nor will i ever be again it might be fun for others but i've yet to meet a truly happily married couple my age late 30s the idea of having a backup just to get married is beyond sad just live your life enjoy it and all the freedoms you have by not being married and what if you marry your back up and one of you later meets the person of their dreams and falls in love then what this marriage was just a joke anyway right so you won't mind if we split and i get with this other person i know i'm going to get trashed for saying this but it's just not a necessary institution anymore i'm not saying people who do it are stupid i'm just saying that people who don't aren't stupid either not married but had physical relations with when i was in high school i really liked this girl we became really close friends but she was never interested in dating me she said that when i was 25 if we were both single she'd have fricked me she stuck to her word it was mediocre love that ending i met my fiance my freshman year of high school we became great friends and by the end of senior year made a pact to get married if we ever ended up 30 and alone at the time both of us were dating other people and did so for all four years i was at college he attended culinary school when i graduated and returned home we began hanging out more regularly and eventually found that we were right for each other all along just the idea of having a prime candidate for getting married and including a backup plan sounds pretty sick to me do you have to view relationships that way why not just go with the flow date who you want and if you find someone you want to share a credit rating with then go for it who's got a gun to your head to get married i had a girl tell me at around 22 years old we were both the same age if we're both single or 30 we should just get married my response was that i didn't want to be her second choice especially to someone who doesn't even exist we both are 30 plus and single and not married we haven't really even spoken since then tldr dodge a bullet yes i have a female friend or two that we said we'd get married if we were both single by 30 hectares both of these friends are good enough friends that it marry them today but never know what friendships will come and go in that time frame not to sound like and but but thinking very clinically of something like marriage sounds like a recipe for divorce do it for the right reasons and you are likely to be happy do it as a check box in life well good luck some people like their life to be clinical make to-do lists cross off first item review list the reason people say that is usually because one friend is in love with the other i'm sure plenty of people have married the person they made that deal with once both of them realize that the reason they had a serious discussion about spending their lives together was because deep down they actually wanted that my backup plan was to enter the monastery no joke right at the last minute i met someone in the newlyweds being with her makes me realize how close i was to making the greatest mistake of my life not bashing monasticism but i was made for this woman had a 30 year old marriage packed with my high school girlfriend 30 rolled around and we talked about it and i decided it was not a good idea i'm 32 now and have been dating what i can only describe as the perfect woman for a few months i'm glad i held out hahaha my friend just said this to me the other day if we're both not married by the time we're 30ish i'll be your trophy husband thanks a hahaha that friend probably likes you i have set up a marriage pact for every five years after 25 plan a 25 30 plan b 31 35 etc i do not expect it to amount to any good when i was 15 i told my cat that if i wasn't married by the time i was 25 that we would move out into the forest and live out our days together as lonely old hags it's still a possibility my friend and i are know as each others harry and sally we dated back when i was a freshman in high school and he was a junior we are still best friends besides our bad breakup and my family loves him i'm pretty sure we will end up together and so is our whole town and he is a ginger so my goal to marry one would be fulfilled my two friends from high school made a pact that if they were still single by the age of 40 they would marry each other a few years after high school they started dating got married in 2010 and are probably the happiest married couple i know so they married their backup plans but they did so at age 24 not 40. i'm a man and i married my escape plan i'm afraid to say our relationship gets a bit explosive whenever i taunt her but i don't think i could live without her i wouldn't say my boyfriend was my backup plan but he was definitely the guy i wanted to be with but i wasn't ready for commitment i started dating there's a swipe of a guy named dustin and a month into the relationship i met my current boyfriend we had great chemistry and i just remember sitting there thinking wow this guy is amazing i just could talk to him for ages sadly i stuck it out with dustin for eight months and it was the most verbally and mentally abusive situation i've ever been in after him and i ended things i was just not prepared for anything serious and needed time to be my own person my current boyfriend and i were casually dating but i just didn't want him to be with me when i was mentally damaged so i made the decision to end our dating situation biggest mistake ever i dated guys here and there but i felt like i was missing out on times with him i missed talking to him on a regular basis and not being with him after about a year and a half of torturing myself i finally came clean to him about how i felt and that what i did was a mistake he was at the time dating someone who lived in another city but told me if nothing came out of it he would give me a shout because he still had feeling for him not even a week later him and i were seeing each and have been ever since every day with him has been the best days i've had in my life and i couldn't be happier if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i 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Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: backup plan, marriage, wedding, marry backu, back up plan, second option, married, wife, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: kLmW8S6G3zA

Length: 25min 1sec (1501 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020