H3 Podcast #83 - Meme Royale & PewDiePie vs T-Series

okay coming to you in five four three two welcome everybody to the h3 podcast tuesday edition otherwise known as holy enlightened correct opinion zone if you plan on disagreeing with me or arguing with me that is not an option don't close it because i do want you all watching the numbers are important but just know be forewarned you are wrong because this is the correct opinion zone today's episode is sponsored by 23andme quip and seek geek guess what's going down a week from today bill burr the living legend the titan of comedy one of the greatest comedians of all time he's gonna sit right where ela is right now that's good i'm [ __ ] terrified bill burr is going to be here on tuesday also important to note is that today is young shredder's birthday he turned one years old so let's keep the round of applause going glad um we are going to be playing everybody's favorite game know your meme featuring the one and only shoe nice that's right shoe nice is back in a big way call us in at 808 hot meme that yes that is our real phone number and yes we are taking calls there 808 hot meme ooh speaking of hot i've been having diarrhea a lot of diarrhea labor day so hot well no the the poop is hot like parts yeah got it yeah why is diarrhea hot by the way like never had a chance to like cool you know when you bake bread you're supposed to let it cool and like go room temp so that's what diarrhea is it's poop that never got to they never got to go room temp but that's why it's hot undercooked that is the scientific experience is what diarrhea is i uh man happy labor day i hope you guys all had a nice break i had one too many hot dogs or something because i've been having diarrhea since 4am been really pooping my brains out what's the deal with labor day by the way the that freaking mailman's walking around delivering mail yesterday i'm like on labor day on labor day federal employees don't even get the damn day off labor day what the hell what are we celebrating if the mailman can't go you know take a seat that's weird i find that really very bizarre he just like decided to work on his own i don't think it works that way in the federal government i don't think you just pick up your mail bag and just start passing out you sure was a usps guy usps because there's those amazon guys you know what i'm not sure i didn't see him there's probably an emergency oh isaac well either way it's like you know late labor day the everyone who gets labor day off for like white-collar workers you know the real people that need labor day off are the ones that are like slaving away at amazon and mcdonald's and all these shitty jobs right it's just so funny labor day has turned into such a stupid thing labor day was originally made to celebrate unions and celebrate like worker rights and [ __ ] and like meanwhile you got the postman and around envelopes but that's enough about labor day the real takeaway is that diarrhea is under cooked poop that makes sense um guys let's get started we got a lot to talk about meme royale is coming to fruition ksi versus logan paul everyone's saying oh that's the fight of this year fight of the century not even the fight of the year because we are in the early stages of organizing what is going to be known forever as meme royale 2018 because this my friends is an annual event we've got people that are in so far joey salads prank invasion shoe nice they're bradberry soflo all squaring off hundred thousand dollars of prizes i think the big the big fight should be prank invasion vs joey sauds and then i think a great undercard would be shoe nice for verse ethan bradberry which would be the battle of madness because they're both a little crazy and i know shoe nice is like over the hill so to speak but he terrifies me and by the way he's been working on he looks really good are people going to place bats like sure why not it's lost i mean i'm not going to take bets but somebody will you know that's crazy i'm sure there'll be a spread if we so guys get excited memeroy l 2018 is happening i want to see kobe person getting his hands dirty his face is too pretty he would never jeopardize that god kobe person who would you i would like to see kobe versus like mo because you know i was originally that's a good match up i originally wanted to pit ethan bradberry versus moe bradberry like the the boys yeah but i think i think ethan would smash him you can't contend with this the pure madness that is behind his eyes like you even see in their videos when ethan's like intimidating mo that's like damn he would never have a chance so we'd have to pit mo against someone like dennis yeah that would be pretty hot super excited about that in fact guys uh you may have been following the story as it's been evolving here on this h3 podcast uh correct opinion episode we've been having a little bit of a altercation with prank invasion who called me out to box me which was the you know i want to say how would you say the the breaking point for this meme royale because prank invasion challenged me to a battle and of course that's not something that i'm interested in doing seeing as that i'm a pudgy little guy and prank invasion literally just got out of prison for three years for some kind of sexual crime um that is not well it's literally well i don't know what he i mean no it's a it is a joke yeah that is it is a joke what i'm saying do i need to say that every time maybe once guys i do not think i'm not saying that it's i wouldn't be surprised can i say that if you went to prison for a sexual crime you can say that that's not that's not definitely i wouldn't be surprised if you're i won't be surprised at all i'm anticipating it um so he he edited this footage together of what i said last episode and he said respect to h3h3 productions for admitting he's scared takes a real man to admit that respect bro now send me your address to the podcast and i'll actually play you a quick game for a quick kiss dude this guy wants to come to our podcast i mean it's always so demanding in his twitch now quit playing i mean here's the thing dude send me your address well i don't know how he i don't know how he yeah i'm scared of you i am scared of you that's not like that's not like unmanly to admit that i'm scared of some unhinged psychopath who's roided up and just got out of prison for a sexual crime like if you if you walked by some unhinged lunatic with like a hell's fire between his eyes under his behind his eye it's not crazy to be like yeah i'm scared scared of you dude um and not i mean and and it's because you're insane you know let's get it straight then you're not a man you're not a man also like i'm not okay well anyway let's just watch his little edit here bro you look like you disappeared for a year and you were in prison and you've been lifting weights that whole time like the last video you made i was scared i was scared i was scared i was scared i was scared this guy was in prison for a year bro you literally repeated me saying i was scared that you were in prison for your first sexual crime and we're lifting weights that whole time i am scared that you want to come to the podcast and kiss me i'm terrified of all these things and i openly admit it if that makes me less of a man god bless okay i wouldn't be surprised that all of that guy went to prison for a sexual crime within the next couple months that's not defamation right i just want people to know that this is a joke because i could see some people start i could see some rumors starting to pile up that actually went through the prison chris went to prison for a sexual crime yeah chris went to prison for a sexual crime it's a joke he didn't but i wouldn't be surprised that's all i'm saying do you think i'm insane do you think that's my skill that i would get in a ring with you and fight you i mean he his veins were like surging like what did you do to be in prison for the past two years to be there he sees that as a compliment he's like he thinks i'm so jacked he thinks i was in prison for two years well at any rate chris i would definitely like to play you for a quick game for a quick kiss and i think that could be a special segment at meme royale 2018 quick game for a quick kiss bonus edition are you gonna play a rock paper scissors can you imagine kissing chris his breath is probably so gross i bet you he has tonsil stones i'm just worried about the noises more than anything a whole stain of people just listening to him you think that i'm gonna make that noise with them hilah not you we should bring you know what would be funny you know how you have these ringside models at boxing matches if we brought one of these girls to do a quick game for a quick kiss with them into the mic that'd be [ __ ] epic either seriously i'm down anyway so yes i am scared of you good job prank invasion you freaking sk you scare the hell out of me now interestingly joey salads is on the phone who was gonna who joey has challenged prank invasion to a fight i think it's gonna be a really good fight did brink frank invasion acknowledge joey's yes challenge it took some time it took some finagling but we have actually lined them up and i think this is something that is going to happen at first it was really hard to tell i i had answered in response to this fight joey sells my money's on salad all day and the thought of you getting mommy make out date by a salad head keeps you up at night and then he said you want to put a hundred thousand on it i said abso [ __ ] lulu put 100 000 on it goes to the winner winner takes all those guys are gonna be out for blood it's meme royale 2018. where were you when the salads fell now is this gonna be a real fighting like or like fake fighting what was this wwf yeah i don't know pranks fake fighting this i mean a hundred thousand dollars is on the line to the winner i'm not saying one is better than the other like i mean i'm not faking you want to fake it i just can't believe like people will actually hurt each other well it's like logan ksi i mean they're wearing gloves yeah well this is this is when again joey salad sent me this dm and i cleared it with everybody to get the permission to show this so joey was trying to talk prank invasion into having this fight and again this is why prank invasion scares the hell out of me because this guy is so unhinged that i wouldn't be surprised if he went to prison for a sexual crime within the next couple of months joey said have you been training when i had a box so anyway he says are you going to do it prank invasion says i'm thinking not boxing but mma no gloves caged bear knuckle fight we sign waivers and the fight lasts until someone gets knocked out unconscious gives up or dies we'll need lawyers like this guy is i mean i can't tell if he's serious but that sounds like the worst of us absolutely joey said dude that's just stupid let's at least wear gloves i like how joey's actually entertaining is this not entertaining do you not watch the h3 podcast live correct opinion zone for content just as this i asked who is entertained right now joey salads and pregnant bare knuckle fight to the death joey salads first prank invasion cage fight to the death we need lawyers and waivers whoever thought we would get to this point without all being said we've talked enough about it let's see what the salad man has to say about this joey salad you are on the air and are you scared like i am of prank invasion i am i'm scared for his life really because he's gonna have to sign a waiver before the fight in case i accidentally kill him you think that you've got what it takes to take out roid it out prank invasion yeah i mean he's a little crazy a little more than a little crazy but now joey have you seen his physique in his new videos he's clearly disappeared and he's been lifting weights and he's been getting a little crazy have you seen this i have seen it it's not right now it's just it's it's newbie games i mean he just started working out newbie games and um joey you had mentioned to me uh something about him wanting to fly out and fight you is this something that you guys are going to be doing off camera well and separate i don't think so it just sounds stupid he wants to fight to the death i told him at least let's do the boxing match first and then fight today why does it want someone to die now what do you think now what's your take on prank invasion joey do you think he's being serious what has happened because he's went from kissing cuties on the boardwalk to literally wanting to have a death match what has happened in the world of prank invasion joey can you tell us you know what i i can't tell that i was friends with him for like a week like two years ago his friend's room for a week and he seemed kind of normal but then he was telling me uh that he uh he suffered from low testosterone so he needed to take testosterone enhancement but i think he just started taking those and that might be making him lose his damn mind because i know some people they lose their minds when they start taking like performance enhancing stuff so so you're exactly dealing with so it's possible that he turned up this testosterone to levels that are unstable yes that's what i believe that is fascinating now are you gonna be able to contend with that massive overload of male testosterone joey are you gonna have to counteract with your own testosterone or steroids i've i've got i've got my own testosterone that should be sufficient and um you had told me an anecdote about how he has a secret technique that he did he beat up a bunch of dudes on camera recently but he didn't want to show you the video do you have more information on that and if you could stop washing dishes for a moment that would be good for the show you kept me on the line for 30 minutes i started cooking so now i got to clean my deal can you hold off cooking the meal i mean jesus come on man this is our moment here we we've we've prepared for this what are you cooking joey what are you preparing hopefully i got a hard i got it's my protein meals i'm already training i got like i'm training in like an hour right now are you doing meal prepping yeah i got hard-boiled eggs i got uh turkey patties all right as much as i'd love to hear more i did ask but that's enough of that i've heard enough for your meal time prep now tell me about this video that prank invasion he says there's a secret video of him beating up several people by himself now joey tell me about this video i would give him a thousand dollars cash if you would send it to me because i don't think it exists because you had asked him send me the video he said i don't want you to see my secret technique he said that verbatim which made me think that it's kind of a kissing prank thing of like my secret technique yeah that's what it kind of sounded like i think maybe what he did was he he uh tried to get into a fight with someone and tried kissing them and then they just ran away very interesting theory that's the technique is there any other closing words any words that you have for prank invasion anything you would like to say would you like to cast the gauntlet any accusations any slander about him being a sex uh criminal that's been in prison for the last couple years what would you like to add before we say goodbye and let you cook your meal there that you're so eager to cook all i gotta say is if he bails out i'm gonna be pissed and you're gonna be a [ __ ] because he's been kind of flaky with this whole thing trying to go from boxing to cage death match fighting he's a flaky guy yeah i don't i can't tell if he's trolling or if he's actually that weird well there's a hundred thousand dollars on the line and i gotta say chris uh you know your channel has not been holding up strong lately lots of demonic citations um and i think that a hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money for any man no matter how many girls he's kissed am i right joey it is okay well i'm excited everyone is on the edge of their seat this is what it's all about here at the h3 podcast joey we love you we love having you be part of the show you're don't forget to eat those salads i know that you're not a fan of salads but it's important to fiber up joey how do you get fiber when you're preparing for to be to be in healthy shape seeing that you don't eat salads at all well how do you get your fiber joey fiber i got some fiber in my in the bread that i eat the toast that's it joey i'm a fr okay yeah i'm not sure but i'm not sure i'm not sure that's sufficient not one to talk but i'm also not training for the century um how many hours a day are you trying to joey three four three four hours a day wow that's impressive that's very good that is a lot yeah now are you afraid that prank invasion being a little bit of a mad dude is might be go for a ear bite or something of that sort that's what i'm worried about i'm gonna tape my ears down to avoid that keep the ears down i like that that's a good idea better safe than sorry right well yeah with a hundred thousand dollars you can buy yourself a new ear [Laughter] joey we thank you we wish you all the best keep training keep eating that bread the fiber is important i recommend metamucil which is a great fiber supplement that was recommended to be my friend it's helped me out a lot and i wish you all the very best joey thanks for giving us a ring thanks man thank you all right joey god bless you keep keep uh keep fighting all right you're the best well there you have it joey sal is in the flesh now just to summarize joey he thinks he's gonna win i think joey's going to win he has accused prank of agent of taking testosterone which has made him kind of i want to say rage-filled mania has resulted in and he is he has called out prank invasion and said if you flake you're a [ __ ] he said and i believe uh something else because we know that he's flaky because we tried to do the know your meme and he was like i'm gonna do it and then he never responded well i think what we need to do next is basically draft a contract between these two that locks them in and obligates and basically if he if bank invasion backs out of the contract what's going to happen is that i'm going to be talk in contact with his probation officer and we're going to make sure that those sexual crimes he has committed are not going to be expunged and are going to remain on the sex vendor website for a long long time just a joke but we we should get a contract with the with the guys yeah but the thing is even without prank invasion we still have a great fight because shoe nice is going to tear someone's head off their body um how we doing on time i guess we got a little more time here we actually here's some great footage up next i got a lot to talk about before we throw it to a commercial let's watch ted cruz slam dunk now ted cruz i don't know what the situation here is but he's in a church of all places playing hoop and man oh man can he throw a rock and by throw a rock i mean drops like a rock but here let's have a look no sound so here he is prepping he's about to take a run that's travel he's not dribbling and he tries to dunk it off a trampoline and boy does he just fall like a stone i mean like a bag of dirt [Laughter] shall we see that again yeah now you hear you have ted cruz taking a running jump at a trampoline to try to dunk the ball at a church down the the center lane i don't know you call that a church the pupils the pulpals how do you what do you call those seats pews the pews full i think they're just in prayer praying for ted cruz to hit a slam dunk but the prayers were not answered and he's straight to hell it looks like the devil literally sucked him down he like defies gravity he drops faster and harder than gravity allowed i love it so anyway shout out to ted cruz who you know by all accounts is hated by all but nobody could ever say he's a bad basketball player next up here on the h3 podcast we've got theresa may the british pm dancing and my dudes thank you for the social bars i mean get with it folks imagine going to africa like and doing this [Music] what the freaking heck is that that's the whitest [ __ ] i have ever seen in my life see i'm conflicted on one hand i don't know if i should be like hey you know what you're making an effort to yeah i love you so like that's admirable right it is fun i think it is i mean that is that's like you know what it reminds me of that episode of seinfeld yeah dancing it's that weird it's weirder i think she's with her hands she's like crying at the hair it's like her body is broken she's like clawing at the air and man it's like it's bad but i guess yeah i mean it's admirable that she's out there i don't know anything about her but it makes me think makes me like her she seems very likable kind of a george bush kind of thing where it's like you know as a person i don't i don't think about her either but here's more of her dancing [Music] and she's getting in there thrusting those hips and she looks like she's hurting sheep or something she's like look there you go what is it when you watch someone dance that you have to like try to dance remind me if i'm ever in this situation just to smile and nod it's kind of a lose-lose you can't yeah i mean if you're just standing there you're like one of those people yeah i you know what god bless her right you crushed it man that one's not nearly as good as the first one with the clawing at the air the clawing move was something i've never seen before that was a fresh move um anyway off to a good start are we entertaining here or what boy so i guess that's been about 30 minutes hasn't it so we'll throw it to a quick commercial break we got back logan paul vs ksi copyrighted our highlight i'm gonna rant about that [ __ ] we got pewdiepie versus t-series t-series about to pass pewdiepie and sub count who the hell is t-series and how do they have so many views and subscribers we're gonna dig into that and so so so much more new pitbull video with a dancing frog you're not gonna believe this is real it is guys you're watching the h3 podcast correct opinion zone do not go away because my dudes that would be wrong and here we are right all the time stay tuned thank you to 23 and me for sponsoring this episode 23 and me is a dna testing service that can offer insights into your ancestry health wellness and traits 23andme health plus ancestry services includes reports on how your dna can influence your weight sleep quality caffeine intake sense of taste and whether you are likely to be lactose intolerant now in my case i did do 23 million i learned a lot about myself sadly it doesn't help fix the things that you found wrong with yourself but it is interesting in the case of lactose intolerance i find that out every morning when i look at the toilet that yes i am 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no you see the sea you know exactly what you get they rate it on a scale of one to ten green is good red is bad so you know if you're getting a good deal or not right out the gate boom it's simple as that they know what they're doing okay now i've established that it's a great platform for buying tickets seed geek but here's where [ __ ] just gets crazy okay because they want you to come try their app they have got this offer for our listeners that's out of this world use code h3h3 when you download their app with the link in the description and you get straight up 20 off your first order oh that's just them handing you a 20 bill this is a deal that you don't see coming around very often they just want you to try it out and they've got 20 bucks on it just for you to come see i mean they're just hosting the tickets they're literally giving you 20 bucks off your ticket price i mean that's insane so click the me tab on the app and enter code h3h3 for 20 off your first purchase you got the link in the description to download the app guys it's as simple as that give them a shot i think they're great and they're giving you 20 bucks just to put their money where their dang mouths are so head on over to seek you i love them i appreciate them and god bless them as well and god bless you and the twenty dollars you're going to be saving with c geek welcome back from the break guys uh today we've got a special presentation put together of know your meme featuring the one and only shoe nice we've got a caller on the line here let's get started so uh let's head on to jail joe you're over there and welcome to know your name joe how are you doing today let's do that i'm doing fantastic even better now i'm talking to my favorite couple on youtube oh thank you joe you're too kind too kind do you know shoe nice are you ready to win a samsung galaxy s9 plus oh hell yeah let's do this all right i've met this dude before i you've met shoenice before tell me about that interaction if you yeah so uh it was 2011. uh i was a freshman at uh state university of new york at albany uh and mr shoenice kind of hijacked uh the cancellation of one of the biggest student events uh by chaining himself to a fountain in the middle of our campus uh he wore diapers to go to the bathroom and he didn't eat for oh it was probably at least four or five days now can you tell me why well so the biggest uh party of the year at that school is uh it was fountain day when they would turn on the fountain in the spring everybody would go in and basically get a giant pool party but for st patrick's day there's another uh unsanctioned event called kegs and eggs uh which is just basically everybody wakes up at eight o'clock in the morning and starts drinking uh so long story short um a few police cars were flipped over people were on top of cars playing bagpipes the real [ __ ] show um so they ended up actually canceling the fountain day event and shoe nights uh who claimed to be a student uh chained himself to the fountain uh and nobody really at that time kind of knew who he was i don't even know if he had the following now i don't know if he has the following now but i am slightly confused is he protesting the event or the cancellation of the event the cancellation of the event he uh he claimed to be a student which uh was a little bit interesting so you said he exchanged himself and he [ __ ] himself in a diaper and fasted for four to five days did he achieve uh success in his hunger strike no i think he was actually forcibly removed at some point but we did not have valente that year so uh he tried did you have the opportunity to meet this great man and talk with him and say shoo tell me about what you're doing and can i smell your you diaper nobody really knew that he was the guy eating tampons on youtube you know everybody thought he was like the warrior you know fighting for the students did they know he was just getting up there he was trained up there in his giants uh gear just you know screaming at anybody who walked by he got all the local press to pay attention to him um that that's not originally visited him once or twice that story definitely lines up with the shoe nice we all know and love you know no problem stretching my imagination to believe that better than our words joe absolutely we've got you here we are ready to play let's just get right the f into it and start with the first question so up get ready shotgun a bottle of alcohol let's start with question one what is the weirdest thing shoe nice has eaten is it a a bottle of k-y jelly anal lube anal not normal vaginal lube there is a distinction i want you to be aware of b tampons soaked in hot sauce joe or see a bar of deodorant the choice is yours joe oh [ __ ] the weirdest that's subjective that is like he's eating all those things in his opinion this is in his opinion well you your job is is not to seek truth joe i remind you it is to get into the mind of the shoe himself that what size is that shoe and does your head fit into it that's this we are running out of time you have 20 seconds joe ah i thought the tampon was blood but i'm gonna say the deodorant c the weirdest thing shoe nice has ever eaten c deodorant this is really anticlimactic but i don't have the folder open with the answers just uh go ahead and just everyone chill back i would have to say the weirdest thing i ever ate was probably a tube of ky jelly know lubricant clothes first with three tampons dipped in uh hot sauce now joe i have to say i'm somewhat disappointed that a bar of deodorant and set next to anal lube and a tampon soaked in hot sauce that you found the deodorant the least bizarre or the most bizarre the three of those but that just shows what a decent kind-hearted uh man you are now i remind you the objective is to get into the shoe itself so going forward we got more questions though we got to get into the shoe joe you with us all right i got to get more depraved let's do it yeah you got to get into the shoe so here we go question number two that's fine we've got plenty more to go what did shoe nice tell ela that prompted her to tweet this ela said to him slam some more toilet paper to clean the [ __ ] that's becoming out of your mouth what provoked this from ela ay shunais told her her clothing line sucks b he called her an israeli [ __ ] or c he said he wanted to eat our dog shredder joe enter the shoe this one i know he he called you uh israeli horror and i'm so sorry that that's horrible and you're sweet your sweet sweet man joe we appreciate the uh the sympathy so let's go to the uh answer books itself b called her an israeli [ __ ] got to be a little more slick and prompt these up more on time here we go [Music] this is real [ __ ] yeah well what happened is that was my drinking days i've been sober since last christmas eve but um ethan and me had talked on an email and i was heading out to california and ethan's like it would be great for us to get together and i emailed ethan a few more times and it came up you know he wouldn't reply to me and i was just like well can you let me know within the day and then i i was just on twitter and i'm a ball buster so i just you know i said hey ela you know you're a jewish [ __ ] and i mean no i'm sorry you're a [ __ ] from israel that's what i said if she was from tennessee she would have been a [ __ ] from tennessee but yeah i'm not i'm not rea i i wanted to take that back so bad i mean i was literally i don't even remember typing it to be honest with you well joe you are correct in this point but i actually i want to correct the record with shoe nice what happened i think was that he wanted to come on the podcast he had emailed me and it was like so tentative he was like hey i'm coming through la uh maybe i'll pop in and we can do a podcast or something and i was like i was like sure i'll let you know mm-hmm something like that then he think about it or something like that yeah and then he emailed me like 20 times and weirded me out and i was like oh [ __ ] shoe nice is crazy i i didn't get money dude i hadn't yet learned to harness that power it scared me but i didn't i needed to learn to harness the power of a star as thor's hammer does um so then he just went railing on us one night on twitter that being said joe you were correct yep you are on the board one to one we're all very excited for you how you feeling you feeling good feeling confident that's right oh hell yeah let's do it samsung galaxy s9 plus with a retail value of one thousand dollars terrific phone i use it myself pretty excited for you joe so here we go let's do it on to question number three now this one is a tuffy [Music] how many youtube accounts does shoe nice have now you may have seen in our previous episode of the tuesday edition that shoe nice left so many comments on our video it was heights of insanity i've not known on youtube until now so i ask you this joe is it a nine youtube accounts is it b 29 youtube accounts or is it c joseph 50 youtube accounts enter the mind of shu and tell me what is your answer go big or go home c wow well joe you are entering the mine of shoe and i like to see that you've wha you've dropped all rationale all reason you have put your head in the shoe and joe i love it let's hear the answer that is a lot to coordinate all right i don't remember this being this card i have 50 youtube accounts i think that's for the limit but they have all history they have subscribers videos on them they're really not ghost accounts they all have history and interaction i use them exactly how i got um top comment on ethan's video i'll post a comment and then switch to another account and it'll just list them so all i'm doing is just hitting switch account another channel bouncing in liking commenting but it sounds crazy but yeah that's all me bro it does sound 50 youtube accounts that he switches wow shoe nice i'm telling you this guy is a legend i think he is going to be the first official member of the goof troop the goof gang the goof gang what do we like goof troop or goof gang goof gang is more of an alliteration joe what do you think yeah goof squad goof squad partial to gaff pack gaff pack i mean why can't it be all of those names well we got a brand you know we gotta brand it appropriately you gotta leave it up to the people yeah yeah yeah oh damn let's do a poll right now as we speak we have the power we've got the twitter potential so we've got goof gang we've got goof troop goof troop that's kind of i like goof troop and then what squad you what had you suggested uh uh young joseph i had said the goof squad but now i i'm liking yours a little buttered well let's add it but i shouldn't pollute the pool let's add it for the sake of historical preservation perseverance definitely and i then had one did you have one you wanted to add anyone else i said gaff pack yeah i'll throw it up there but what but throw that poll up there dan and keep us updated copy that um that's on our twitter by the way at h3 podcast if you guys want to participate but i have a feeling that shoe nice himself is going to be like a true like founding met member of this organization because he's special he's your beetlejuice he is he's my beetlejuice i genuinely think so like like i i i i love him i think he's got so much potential you know sunis doesn't even understand how surreal this whole experience is because we used to watch his videos like dude i've been long ago deodorant bars all my life um actually i had some videos i wanted to watch you wanna watch some videos joe uh you're on the scoreboard you're two to one maybe it would help you to enter the mind of shu i want to show you guys a video um asmr marge this is actually from his new v because he started so many channels he's such a weirdo he erases all the footage on his old videos all the time and then he makes a channel called shoe nice deleted videos so he erases it on one channel re-uploads it on another and it's just i don't he's just on another level so he's into asmr i don't know what sparked should do nice of all people to get into asmr but he has this character marge simpson asmr and this video was just from um oh it's from the turn of the year it's at the end of 2017. but here is a little glimpse of shoe nice marge simpson asmr and this is completely sincere this is not some kind of uh bizarre surreal humor this is shunai's doing mark simpson asmr hey everyone shoe nice asmr he's whispering that's why it's so quiet i didn't realize how many people were affected physically and emotionally by my asmr either way [Laughter] basically just he sounds the same you just have to turn the volume up that's what asmr is all we need is the voice from by the way i've been watching more asmr counting 100 you'll be asleep either way we have a special asmr guest here today she would like to say the alphabet in a few words ladies and gentlemen marge simpson [Music] oh my god do you see that march just walked in hi everyone this is my first day i just want to try the alphabet ready [Music] oh my god imagine waking up to this sound imagine the middle of the night oh the idea is to fall asleep to this sound not quite sure what's asmr about the uh huh so this is what we're dealing with here folks all right you guys you guys have seen enough so joe watch more tonight joe yeah exactly joe will you be watching that to help you sleep tonight absolutely not all right i hear you uh that's being said you are on the scoreboard two to one joe we applaud you we're excited for you we think you're great we think you have all the potential in the world let's move it on to question four this is basically if you win this um you get it all this is it right not the last question not the last question with you when's this he gets the dang phone so with that being said joe are you ready to play papa bless yesterday okay here we go how many times or has shoe nice ever had alcohol poisoning for those of you that don't know shoe nice famously takes a whole bottle of booze puts it upside down no hands and drinks it straight down the throat and like a second he's done it with handles okay so has shoe nice ever had alcohol poisoning joe that is the question of him a never not once be one time or c seven times huh it's a tough one joe what do you think what do you what are you feeling i wouldn't say never it's a good guess i mean shoe nice is definitely the kind of guy that would never have ever had alcohol poisoning it's a great guess but is it correct well joe let's find out [Music] i passed out with the devil springs 160 proof i wasn't dead i just go to bed but i happen to have friends over at the time and they couldn't wake me up so they brought me to the hospital i'm a veteran so my insurance is free i didn't care but i woke up with a tube down my throat here pumping my stomach and i was just like whoa whoa whoa you're gonna kill my buzz well joe it turns out it was one time and the doctors killed his bud instead of killing him apparently uh you you were wrong but that is fine joe because you're doing great you're on the board it's two to two this is exciting this is good for us i like this excitement the cliffhanger is terrific but this one is i don't think you'll have any problem if you're a shoe nice fan so let's just pop right into the fifth question joe how does shoe nice show gratitude a thank you b thank you or c thank you very much did i differ differentiate those innova do you get pretty good did you catch me uh do you catch my drift on that joe do you have a do you did you understand the question could you repeat the answers please thank you hey thank you b thank you very much see thank you now that's a yeah are you rehearsing are you answering thank you very much just restating them okay all right joe i'm liking where your head's at and i'm feeling pretty good about this show gratitude i usually say thank you there you go you did it you beat the gauntlet it was a close call you know it was three to two you pulled it out at the very end though how are you feeling oh fans [ __ ] fantastic just talking to you guys is like a trip i i love you guys so much well thank you thank you thank you thank you john evans shout out to sean evans for showing so many like great people on hot ones and getting like i found so much [ __ ] through him found you guys oh really there all your guests all your all your guests are amazing it's like i find then i found kill tony it's unbelievable like i love it they're going to be a guest on our show soon yeah but thank you i can't wait for that we love you as well yeah thank you thank you guys enthusiasm stay on the line i'm going to get your info so we can send this to you right so joe it was a pleasure to talk to you i wish you all the very best and um thank you so much for listening and enjoy this galaxy plus thank you guys so much all right talk to you thank you so that was great that was awesome um now there is one bonus question left ela do you want to play yeah do you have the answer yeah [Laughter] well let's just play it let's just play the question is what's the first thing he ate on youtube so here you guys go my first stunt was a roll of toilet paper single ply double file clog up the system yeah so we finally found someone that likes single ply toilet paper so that's why they make it just for shoe nice tv well guys that was another successful edition of know your meme congratulations to joanna's samsung galaxy s9 plus yeah um what else we got to talk about man i mean that's i don't i mean that's the best [ __ ] no we have a lot more to talk about um let's see what's next logan paul these [ __ ] guys okay logan paul versus ksi the promoters whoever's involved in this [ __ ] is such dicks now we talked about this and we made a highlight of it which was like 20 minutes long and i barely i didn't even show footage because i knew that there were going to be dicks about it yeah we didn't even show the only thing was one dude's compilation of jake paul getting punched in the face yeah but that was like which by the way has intrinsic artistic value that that is the legal language i mean let's be real so for them to [ __ ] block it worldwide you stupid [ __ ] and here's the best part i dispute it and i'm like hey [ __ ] boys hey idiots you know release the claim and they can keep it down for 30 days youtube gives them 30 days to just sit on that and keep it down like the video should go up if i dispute it the video should go back up i mean that's just it's it's crazy and they're such [ __ ] too by the way ksi the video is just down for 30 days yeah removed yeah and then at 30 days they'll be like oh you're right sorry it's back up but nobody wants to watch it anymore yeah but like you know ksi and logan paul ksi specifically is a guy that reacts to videos all the time on his channel i mean this is honestly just sad and i know this has been happening to a lot of people it's just it's and you know you know what really pisses me off about it is like before the fight they feed on everybody's publicity and everybody's talking about and before the fight fair use oh great yeah talk about it all you want after the fight talk for 22 minutes and don't even [ __ ] show the footage and we're gonna block it worldwide i swear to god there's a case for like a a class action lawsuit because it's so abusive i mean they haven't known so exploitive they have no right to remove it it's just that's what i said i said i said you have absolutely no right yeah that's just how the tools work so they can well i think youtube needs to modify the system so that when you dispute it okay now the video's back up and now if you want to strike my video if you want to put your money where your mouth is and make a legal claim then go right ahead it's so frustrating man and for me it's not it's not that big of a deal because it's just one highlight of a lot but like yeah i mean it had 300 000 views in like half a day but if that's your main content and they can just stomp on you like that it's just [ __ ] up i don't know man not happy about that that really pissed me off and they're intentionally just sit gonna sit on it for 30 days because they want people to go by the pay-per-view that's so stupid it doesn't really make sense no one is going to watch our highlight instead of that there's no competition exactly if anything it's going to make people want to go watch yeah that's the whole thing that i've never understood about most copyright copyright issues where it's like almost every time except for pure re-upload yeah is going to result in more traction to your original product it's just so pathetic so i want ksi and logan paul both to know and i'm sure both of them will easily be like uh oh that's just uh that's just our production company you know what they do first of all [ __ ] i'm i'm not letting you get a pass on that look at this [ __ ] they they make it under this like shell the shell company ath piracy there's no information there's no accountability it's just this it i mean this is ksi and logan paul and all these guys getting around having to take responsibility for doing something shitty that they know is wrong on youtube ath piracy give me a [ __ ] break and the real crime is look at that thumbnail so good the world deserves that i agree i love that thumbnail good dan that was you dan by the way your copyright dispute is currently being reviewed by the copyright owner you'll receive response within 30 days how about three days how about they have 24 hours and then the video goes back up and they can decide in 30 days why are you on the deck of abusers youtube like it's time to do this differently they have been improving though well i think people have been less aggressive like um we had this video on ethanol where we reacted this lady like dancing to hip hip-hop and it was apparently attempted to be removed but youtube said no so they'll send you an email saying this was there was an attempt but we said no actually i have to give huge credit to that apartment that used to never happen that that's actually happened to us several times where we got an email being like and the best part is they say who tried to take it down yeah it's for some reason when someone tries to take it down and they reject it i see their email their phone number their name their channel i get their social security number basically no and they're like this idiot at this address tried to remove your video and we gave him the middle finger but somehow when these [ __ ] do it it's a total [ __ ] shot in the dark you know it's not it's just i honestly want to blame these guys because they know what they're doing and whoever put this together know that they're youtubers they know how it works they're willfully abusing the systems that youtube has put in place that generally work pretty well most of the time and it's just it's so lame especially ksi because he does reaction videos he relies on other people's content you know the paul brothers you can't expect anything from them ever now you guys know the law better than most because of the lawsuit that you went through and everything um the whole 30-day thing is that youtube policy or is that the is that the actual legal law like the dmca thing oh that's just youtube yeah i'm i'm 99 sure that's just unrelated completely unrelated to the law weak i mean youtube put their policies in place originally basically they were faced with a huge decision when they were in their infancy and people were pirating content all the time and putting it on youtube and so they had an existential crisis where they needed to deal with this issue or get sued into oblivion and not be a legitimate platform yeah and so they are very legitimate and they do have a pretty good system like if you compare it to facebook there is no system at all yeah so youtube is pretty good it's just it's hard to deal with so many people and yeah there's always going to be someone who will abuse it it is i mean this video in particular it's just so frustrating because i didn't even show the footage yeah we're just talking about i literally explicitly avoided showing the footage because i wanted to avoid this and now 30 days and i'm help i can do nothing it's just so effed up it's so whack dude it's seriously so whack so you know [ __ ] these guys i don't know hey speaking of whack got a 3 000 responses on this poll already oh yeah give us the uh information well i got to tell you we are deadlocked at 33 each between duke gang and goof troop both 33 trailing a little behind is gaff pack at 27 and then poor goof squad nobody nobody's on board with google so what are the what are the top two again can you uh uh google and goof troop they are gang goof troop i think i personally think the goof game because yeah i was just gonna say that i would vote for that one goof gank let me vote right now he was going to tip the scale all right that's interesting to know um anyway pewdiepie here's another one this one pewdiepie as everyone knows has been the biggest subscribe channel on youtube for pretty much ever as far as i can in common history and he's up to like 65 million subscribers now but out of nowhere comes this channel t-series they're at like 60 million subscribers and their channel is going insane and i'm thinking who who are these guys yeah what is t-series and so that is what i'm here to answer for all you guys today what is t-series first let's start by looking at their stats okay let's pull up the social blades here for t-series now past 30 days 2.1 and a half billion views yeah i saw that number and like i was like wait there's too many numbers too many digits uh in the past 30 days they've had 4.3 million subscribers eight plus plus the grade 4.3 million in the last 30 days yeah their parents would be probably i mean compare that with pewdiepie let's see damn like pewdiepie has 150 million views so which is a lot he's about uh i mean they have what did what did they have like three billion yeah and not another comma and he's under a million so they're on on subs per month which of course is nothing to scoff at but they are on track quickly to pass young felix here it's so funny that there's a grade there's a double plus a plus plus oh yeah they're breaking the metrics here so 2.1 billion views that is just madness so okay who the hell are they and why are they getting so many freaking subscribers and views t-series well the answer should not surprise you i don't know what these big channels are always so weird it's just it's like bollywood [ __ ] it's just a bunch of bollywood [ __ ] and you know i was looking at the population of india these [ __ ] have like 1.4 billion people in india they're about to pass china as the most populous country so they are churning out youtube views and unprecedented numbers if i was indian i'd be crushing it getting 10 million views a day um so anyway i curated some of their videos to show you guys what's going on with t series here let me show you first show the channel yeah let's let's look at the channel now they upload a ungodly amount here ten hours six hundred thousand views nine hours twenty thousand so the variance is quite large you know one day a hundred thousand views and then you go down a little bit and you can see so the views are pretty paltry but then here you see five days ago 20 million views excuse me i'm allergic to views and so then you keep going through here and you see these little nuggets like oh six days ago 11 million views you know one week ago 10 million views so these guys are just [ __ ] out so much bollywood that it's giving my wood bali i'm getting a bali hard on right now looking at these numbers right how is it possible the channel like like because if it's the if the views vary so much why do people subscribe you know usually those kind of channels will not have subscribers because they just kind of like the truth is and you're right sometimes it will be a viral video but mostly not you know the truth is that is correct because if you look at the ratio they have over 2 billion views a month and they're getting 3 million subscribers i think pewdiepie's view to subscriber ratio is way higher but he's getting like 20 or 30 less views per month you know but there's the scope of views is insane it's like everybody in india's got the hard lined in t series man so let's watch some of their greatest hits we've curated india's finest bollywood here for you guys and um let's see what these guys are up to shall we now what do we got here this is their most popular video yeah whoa look at the views almost 600 million views just it's only a couple months old or well several months old let's have a look is it like their vego what is that is it they're what like vivo yeah i guess it's like indian vivo that's right now this this bollywood is the corniest [ __ ] on the on the history of the earth i don't think anything has ever been produced corner than bollywood here's a guy uh he's texting while driving and he almost plows down cuts short the lives of two sweet innocent young girls do they react poorly and say hey i'm calling the police [ __ ] you no a seduction happens from this of course look at him he's on his phone it's not like he almost murders and cold manslaughter he's like hey what's up girl i almost [ __ ] killed you huh so anyway yadda yadda guys by the way too are like the corniest mother dude here [Music] anyway they all [ __ ] at the end of the day you know how it goes um thought that was interesting no i i listen what you got another video i i i'm not trying to slam bollywood obviously i'm making i'm goofing around you know let me step back a minute it's just the indian sense of culture and entertainment and masculinity and femininity and all these things are so different it's just an interesting thing to behold and aren't all indians the goofiest people you've ever met in your life no i'm kidding that was a joke i was stepping back and then plowing forward ela thought about it she's like i was gonna say no i was gonna say they are actually very nice the ones that i knew goofy though maybe i'm kidding about it i don't actually think that come on this is the h3 podcast opinion zone all right you entered everyone enters not everyone leaves uh what else we got here i guess that's about it you get the idea here's another one this one has 210 million views in less than one month there you go they just they have so many you're see what's the criticism of me right now i don't know you're such a bigot this is such a big there's no criticism there's one opinion here and it's correct you're such a bigot ethan so close-minded ethan is so disrespectful other people's cultures yeah well give me one of these give me one of these and [ __ ] you know go subscribe to t-series if you're so multicultural why don't you go subscribe to t-series with notifications on probably already did anyway i thought it was interesting if you guys are clued to the tv about this rivalry there is of course a live counter of pewdiepie versus two series live stream live updates with music and everything you need to be entertained let's take a look at the numbers well we've got pewdiepie on the rise t-series is catching up quick oh i gave them like a date yeah they're gonna creep up really fast so that's out there if you really have nothing better to do what else pitbull came out with a new video that is truly something i couldn't believe is real this is why i showed up to work today yeah we've talked about pitbull here on the podcast with jack and eric and man this new one i couldn't believe i can't believe what i'm seeing is this frog like i see the frog here so i guess it's a reoccurring meme you see this healer this has 800 million views oh the one i got missing something let me watch this this is 800 million views it's just a dancing frog that looks so weird what the [ __ ] look at it it has 800 million views that's almost a billion views oh so that is not related to pitball guys this is 800 million views this is the channel here um el champo ultra music could you do this possibly to this music are the latins on this i don't think so they're more salsa it's like a mix with like they're more of this it's more yeah yeah dan smith this frog is on a he's on mars because i ain't never damn this [ __ ] is so weird that 800 million people watch this who made this and why it's good [ __ ] this quality content what are you talking about bro why is the whole world so weird like okay latin america now is on my goofy list i wonder what is it in america that white people do that everyone else is like those [ __ ] are weird apparently [ __ ] without a bidet based off the responses we've gotten really yeah i mean all the emails that i've been seeing and people wipe their [ __ ] with their hand i think that's probably not totally different ian look there's someone look that up because i don't want to be that ignorant to get that wrong well maybe some i mean there's 1.3 billion people in india you know yeah um well what is it about yeah i know there's something that we're all fat probably they're like whoa you're all fat and that's and you don't talk about that all the time it's yeah that's pretty that's a big one that's kind of big morbidly obese is pretty wild i think it's just like being overly polite maybe but is that the same thing as 800 million people watching a dancing frog i'm not sure that's on the level but here's this video i don't think so hilo who would you rather [ __ ] pitbull or the frog i gotta go with the frog really i wonder how pitbull feels about that although you're not alone all those girls seem to want to [ __ ] frog i'm being frank with you he's got crazy hip thrust that frog he can really shake it he looks like salad fingers i mean it's just not human it's just not right you know close your eyes and and don't say a word all right i've seen enough of that frog whoa i really wonder what white people do that words the rest of the world out um what else we got this one god i feel like i'm being so ignorant this episode but i gotta plow on doesn't get better from here guys i'm reading the meaning of dharma to casey what does it mean maybe you should read this where where is it located where are you reading it it is located on the google i don't help me out i am dama tu cosita means um right cosita it means and it's got a picture of the frog then so i know i'm right it means um stay still and be quiet and this will all be over soon no it kind of means give me your little thing whoa that's even weirder than what i said so the little translation of the word cocita is innocent enough it means little thing the course of this ditty is dripping with sexual innuendo in latin america dame tu cosita means give me your reproductive part whoa this frog is crazy dame tu cosita holy [ __ ] give me your little part i'm sure it doesn't really translate that's what they're saying they're saying in latin america that means give me a reproductive point i think with like the implications no i think it's like give it give it give it to me babe yeah yeah i think that frog has got more planned than you know dan okay let's move it on you guys know about this tess holiday she's a plus model i want to handle this story as tactfully and artfully as i can't because i feel like i have something a legitimate thing that i want to express about this okay i don't know what that was and i don't want to be you know i want to handle this uh you know politically here okay now we've got tess holliday and she's featured on the cover of cosmopolitan she's a plus-size model plainly you can see that it's extremely plain to see and um and so this whole thing about like you know they're trying to normalize and say like hey you don't have to be in shape or supermodel right to be on the cover of cosmopolitan or to be an object of beauty and admiration right it's like a healthy at every size kind of thing yeah and and when i saw this i was like you know if you're going to criticize magazines for putting anorexic girls on the cover which promotes an unhealthy lifestyle i don't see that this is any different when you put a morbidly obese person on a magazine and glorify it that's just as unhealthy as anorexia i mean i'm not i'm not saying she's not beautiful or that someone would not be attracted to her but like i don't understand this argument of saying somebody is fit and attractive and works super hard on their health and their fitness by the way i have so much respect for people that actually maintain their physical body because rich or poor or whoever you are you have to put in the work there's no shortcuts there's no work around whoever you are from the king to the peasant if you want that body it takes raw work and dedication now this does not require that there's no there's nothing in my mind commendable there's nothing in my and i'm not and i'm not saying [ __ ] her because she's fat that's not my point is but that we look at someone who is physically fit that they have achieved something and that's why we admire them and we put them on magazines because everybody has it the potential within them to carve their body out of marble so to speak you know to chisel away through hard work that perfect body but this there's no there's nothing admirable i mean there's there's no uh achievement there's no hard work and sacrifice just it's just the conversation it took a weird turn like instead of saying you don't you can feel uh confident you know you can you don't have to feel horrible about yourself yeah and be plus-sized but you don't need to glorify it either i find it bizarre i find it frankly bizarre to glorify i mean a more a morbid illness i mean we sat here and talked with boogie who was more the guy is not there's nothing good about being morbidly obese and if you feel good and happy with yourself god bless but like these are the same people that are saying oh these anorexic models are not realistic yeah they're not realistic they're models it takes a lot of hard work to look that good physically to get a six-pack and have a [ __ ] crazy ass and thighs and be like fit beautiful person right yeah it's not realistic it's really hard to do that so um i think this is weird i think it's weird i don't get it and by the way also i just want to point out too people always talk about like photoshop and like oh that's not realistic it's photoshopped she is photoshopped all the way those thighs and her chest and her arms and everything her face is so photoshopped and i have to tell you my hunch is that that unedited video that unedited photo you would look at it and be like that lady is sick not disgusting but i mean like you see what morbid obesity looks like they've paint brushed it and brushed it and made it look beautiful and attractive and hey she's got soft skin and she looks good and she's got tattoos and [ __ ] she has a little miss piggy on her forearm incidentally i didn't say that i mean it's right there miss biggie's on her phone yeah the the treatment to the photo is the same as the ones they're criticizing she's still got makeup she's got exactly paradigms there's photoshop you can see exactly the shading and everything is on it must have been touched you know in photoshop and by the way i've met a lot of morbidly obese people i'm a fat guy not obviously to that level like buggy was saying like i think morbidly obese people it's it is like an illness as i understand it but like there is nothing happy about that i don't know i don't know i don't i just don't i don't get it i think it's dangerous i think we as a society need to stop being like i guess i just don't know what's the point i mean like we're over the point where we're like you're fat and shame on you and whatever but like to put someone up who's sick and say like they're to glorify it in the same way it just seems hypocritical yeah this was a tough one to talk about they're hailing her as brave i mean what's brave about you know eating ice cream did i go too far i don't know i don't know can i get one of these was waiting for a joke yeah i said nothing now you know what does bother me though is on the other hand let's get our [ __ ] straight okay like we've got this [ __ ] on but the re i think the real damaging [ __ ] that's going in magazines right now is these kim kardashians okay with fake asses performed through dangerous procedures see that is unobtainable so then you've got these little these poor girls who are working their ass off to try to obtain an ass like kim kardashian which is actually literally impossible now that is an unrealistic goal to set i mean here let me let me show you these kim kardashian before and after these these these kardashians are [ __ ] twisted dude they've had so much surgery like there's nothing left of like who they used to be and it is so i feel like it's so damaging for actually for for young women who are comparing themselves look at this this is gonna [ __ ] crack you up look at this look at that ass before and after yeah looks like she just looks like she's got like whoopee cushions in her i feel like even the picture on the right is not updated anymore it's gotten bigger progressively bigger i don't know her ass has gotten so freaking big look at this one i mean get the hell out of here with this which one do you want to see um just there's like a dress there in the middle anyway all of them have these like bodies that were created in laboratories i mean if you want to talk about some of these unhealthy that's what's up now actually i have a story here about and it's really sad uh what are we going to say you is some dad no this lady went to get a bum lift as they call it a mother of three was told by her partner she did not need surgery but obsessed with these images of kim kardashian all these women with fake asses was one of the strangest phenomenons i would say maybe that's what indian people think is weird about white people and we're getting ass surgeries no everyone's doing it now you think so um it's not only like get a load of this uh leah cambridge a 29 year old beautician from leeds in england is said to have died this week after she underwent the increasingly popular cosmetic surgery at a clinic was it in turkey or somewhere yeah the guy was apparently a world-renowned surgeon and what they do is soup they take fat from like your other parts in your body yeah and they inject it into your ass but the catch is that it's actually extremely dangerous because what happened in this case is that he injected the fat into one of her main arteries that went through her ass and it went to her heart and her brain and she had a [ __ ] stroke yeah so how about that for ridiculous on you know i mean like i don't know i feel like we should be talking about this mental illness that's in our society people are putting fat in their ass um crazy [ __ ] dude yeah even cardi b has a story about how she did and like a surgery at an illegal place just in some ladies basement i mean that's probably people can't afford to go to probably the legitimate places the procedure cost um oh she she definitely went cheap the procedure cost 6 500 pounds to 10 000 pounds in the uk but in the turkey it costs three thousand pounds well i don't know it's probably expensive in turkey but like man god that's so tragic like jesus christ i think we need to be talking about that i think guys should talk more to their girlfriends and tell them they really don't need to do it well because i feel like it becomes like a competition between women and they start to feel insecure next to that the article said the guy told her she didn't hit it like what what could he do yeah i don't know i don't know it's so bad i i think that but it's like you open instagram and all you see is like this crazy buddies like unrealist actually unrealistic bodies we used to consider unrealistic bodies in this dialogue of like super fit hard-working people that achieved a god-like body yeah now we're talking about people that are injecting fat in their ass and then little girls are being like how do i get that ass no i'm gonna go get fat injected in my heart and have a stroke whoop yeah it's really easy to it's really easy to feel insecure when you see all those asses dude instagram is very dangerous i'm i'm very i'm skinny and like pretty flat all around and it's like when you look at those all the instagram models these days it's crazy it's like do you feel bad when you see that stuff i'm pretty at peace with my body so i don't but i can see i can there was a point in your life when you were yeah there was when i was younger but i think i mean i've i've talked to our friends that's perfect just the way you are but i know and your friends not like too flat your ass is great everything's going on there it's a very regular to a skinny person that's a great one one of the best but like yeah i've talked to other friends and i know people feel pretty insecure and a lot of people are doing these surgeries a lot let's talk about not reach people too good mythical morning let's talk about that yeah i don't know this whole thing about like i i feel like and it's the same in israel so that's why i'm saying it's not i don't think it's only here so that was a whole discussion about body issues so i hope that there was something there interesting for you and if you're considering um injecting fat into your ass don't do it please i frankly i on my part when i see kim kardashian's ass i'm like you have a disease it looks like you have a tumor in your ass it just becomes like a almost like a caricature it looks um it looks like i mean to me it looks really bad how does she when she shits it must be like a long way to the toilet there's like a lot of space between the ashes because it's so big she must have to like either she spreads open the ass cheeks super wide or she's getting [ __ ] streaks on the inside of her cheeks and did not think about that think about it also these days you have to have like a 10 inch dick just to get inside of her wouldn't you have to discuss with her her wiping you've got kim kardashian on the line yeah i'm not sure that's a conversation she's a she's ready to have her no she would not but seriously like how do you even have sex with a girl that fat like the barrier for entry is like eight plus i don't think it works like that i think the fat goes like sideways more it just falls to the side i mean that doesn't sound sexy to me ladies keep your ass natural keep it all natural okay you're looking good you're beautiful and i guarantee you there's men everywhere everywhere every corner you turn that wants to [ __ ] you just the way you are and most of them don't even have a dick big enough to penetrate the ass on kim kardashian right eel okay all right what else we got well pep talk louis ck's back i feel like i don't want to talk about this not because i i'll talk about it briefly i just it's almost there's so much here louis ck's back um he just popped in apparently you know it's funny because we were talking with bert like yeah before this happened and we were like um louie is gonna be back and his opening line is gonna be like some genius line yeah and everyone's gonna be like oh he's a genius and he's back and we said like we don't know how long it's gonna take like maybe two years and all that couple years and then the next day you know what i gotta say a lot of people were upset that he had the balls to come back and that he hadn't been punished and that you know [ __ ] louis ck that's not my angle i think he came back too soon what i what i'm disappointed in as him as a comedian you can't just come back on stage and do material like uh nothing happened he didn't even address it like i did hear the material was funny well yeah i'm sure he's very funny yeah but it's like dude you had the mo the moment had to be perfect yeah he had to come out after a couple years when people almost forgot him and be like so how about them dodgers huh or whatever i don't know so it was way too soon just people need enough time to like yeah it was too soon they're just the news but then someone had a good point was it i don't remember who brought it up was it dan uh can someone take shredder out he's dead shredder it's shredder's birthday oh he's such a cutie pie i'm gonna cook him a filet mignon we said it was shredder's birthday at the top right yeah we're gonna cook him a filet mignon tonight i'm most excited for me to eat a flamingo um i just think oh i forget who said this but they're like he's probably so depressed and borderline even suicidal i don't know if that's true or not but like yeah that that was me saying that and yeah you know it makes me wonder a lot of these comedians that you guys have even talked to on the show just talk about how like therapeutic even for you ethan you know when you come and do the podcast and everything and you know louie his life is stand up so yeah it makes me wonder it's like i i agree that i think it's way too soon for him to come back but i almost wonder if he was just sitting at home alone and like i gotta get out there and do this or i don't know what i'm gonna do you know yeah i don't know his situation is a tough one it's just mostly weird to just not even acknowledge it yeah that's what i mean that's when i'm disappointed because i don't know there was so much pressure on that opening line of like oh [ __ ] louie's back i feel like he should have waited until everyone almost forgot even that me too was a thing like it was settled you're like okay you too you too and then wait another year and then louie his opening line would be something like anyone want to see my deck right close the doors anyone in here want to see me masturbate right you own it too soon louie that would have been a great opening line would it not he just got out there and just whipped it out yeah don't even he goes like this lock the doors and then he takes his dick out that would have killed so anyway that's my two cents on that guys this is the correct opinion zone you watch these tuesday episodes for my opinion which are correct and relevant every time if you disagree keep watching i don't want to lose you as a viewer but just know that you are wrong um the celeb hacker who hacked uh jennifer lawrence and all the celebrities who got all their nudies leaked out into the world the fappening as it were has pleaded guilty admitting that and here's what shocked me about this story he sent emails to the victims while posing as members of online's apple's online security personnel in order to obtain their username and passwords this this amazing hacker that got all these nudes he was just doing a phishing scam that's all it takes i thought this was some like slick underground crazy hacker yeah he's just a guy who sent the email to jennifer lawrence and said hey please log into your apple account i almost feel like that is what hacking is like 90 of the time yeah like how often did they actually have your password well i thought it was some crazy thing because he he had like dozens of of celebrity nudes and you know it was just a freaking fishing scam so there you go get inspired you guys i think this is an inspiring twist on this story to everyone out there who's like i want to see jennifer lawrence nude but i mean i'm not you know i'm saying like i'm not saying that specifically but like anything is possible sometimes you will go to jail yeah you will go to jail obviously there's consequences but that's not the more the moral of the story is not to steal people's nudes but that anything is possible did you think that you could see jennifer lawrence nude by simply sending her a login credentials and saying hey i'm from apple can you log in now i'm not saying to do that but i'm just saying get inspired because this guy had a simple idea that he took all the way to prison and i'm saying it is inspiring in a weird twist away he should never done that shame on him you know privacy matters uh they should have never come out and i should have never looked at them but that being said get inspired i think if you're looking to get inspired you should subscribe to t-series is plugging they need all the help they can get folks [Applause] not enough subscribers no i feel awful for those slip that that was a huge violin i want to make clear that i was a huge violation and and uh a real a real wacky shame you know but damn there's something inspiring there though you have to admit nope just a little piece of [ __ ] that is going through no reason you know what he did it's like that movie um the pursuit of happiness with will smith where he had like the rubik's cube and that got him the job it's like the simple plan gets you all the way and that's what's inspiring anyone anyone follow along okay let's move on thank you i'm waiting for that uh up next god this is going on and on we have a lot more here getting kind of exhausted i wonder if we should move some of this over we can skip we've got ariana groped we've got uh michael cohen starts to go [ __ ] me and that we're gonna go to that one love that story well the ariana gropes is pretty amazing too all right let's just finish it up ariana groped so oh man ariana grande is at the funeral of aretha franklin and this slimy slimy dude gropes her live during a funeral it's crazy [ __ ] ever it reminds me of this clip we watched of lou walsh grabbing that girl's ass it's like they have a secret society where they're like i'm gonna they're like hey they like push the boundary with each other you know what i mean i'm gonna grope a famous person and what are they going to say it's not even about the faintest person they would do that to anyone because it's yeah but it's just a sick mind it's like they're daring each other to get away with the craziest stunt oh yeah but i'm sure he didn't yeah i don't look at it like that i just think it's it's just like what is going on in your head so here it is anyway apologize because i have to brush up my 20 years old telling her when i saw ariana grande on the program i thought that was a new something at taco bell so meanwhile saying that he thought she was a taco bell item aka a snack and the motion he's doing with his hand is something so unnatural did y'all enjoy this icon she's a nightclub here yeah he's like digging in here i've got a gift so you can look it more closely but i like how he's saying on one hand i girl i gotta give you all your respect now give me that titty look at this look how he's like gra he's like really grabbing i mean that's intentional as it gets right i mean there's no way to explain it in any other way right no just because it's like it's like this and he's like digging in you know yeah that's so creepy you guys say these men of god lately are not winning uh the hearts and minds are not winning my heart and mind i guess that's all there is to that one yeah he apologized whatever um how can you just get away with an apology though like doesn't the church just like want to get rid of that guy immediately well i don't understand this apology was really half-assed too maybe you can find it i thought i had it here can you guys find it sure he's just like you know uh i guess maybe i pushed it i was hugging everyone anyway i apologize it was basically just that said uh it would never be my intention to touch any woman's breast i don't know i guess i put my arm around her maybe i crossed the border maybe i was too friendly or familiar but again i apologize here we got a video of it bishop ellis by the way let's just say his name for the record because i have to brush up my 28 year old daughter tells me dad you are old at 60. you may want to skip this girl let me give you all your respect i certainly want to apologize to ariana and to her fans and to her family and to her entire community if uh what i said was taken uh the wrong way and uh listen oh he's talking about the taco bell comment yeah he's about to the tick roping yet yeah he's got a lot to answer for uh maybe it's just a joke that went bad but when you're doing the program for nine hours you know you're trying to keep it lively you try to make some funny references and what have you i love everybody everybody that knows bishop ellison greater grace knows that we love everybody and listen it's not about whether i meant it or didn't mean it or whether somebody took it the wrong way i'm the one that said it and if it was taken to be an offensive statement i apologize that's the easiest thing for me to do the right thing for me to do and i certainly hope that she will forgive me and the last thing i want to do is to be a distraction didn't address the tech crap this is all about her it's not about me and i'm so sorry if i inserted myself in a way that took away from this very very very frankly so i apologize to ariana and to her community he never addressed the tick grab he addressed the taco bell grande uh comment i thought this is the video well the thing is i've only seen it in like a clip of it that i thought was in reference but i watched the whole thing he didn't even address the freaking tit dig the thing is when you grab a lady here i don't know if she was wearing a wire bra but first of all there's a wire that's so obvious but even if not like this motion here is really i don't know who does that look are you getting sexual gratification from that are you trying to massage her tit and turn her on i mean what are you trying to do or is it just a weird creepy old world power play of being like i can do this and get away with it you know it's the weirdest [ __ ] hopefully this guy's gone man i'm sick of these [ __ ] holy men like anyway anything else to add to that yolo no that's dude to get like groped like that on live tv during a funeral like she can't say anything she was recoiling from it yeah it's one of those situations you can't really say anything it's just really because it's not that bad it's just like right on the line just in that crib zone yeah it's like why you gotta be such a creep yeah and finally a tragic story to end the episode uh poor michael cohen uh you know the sad unfortunate michael cohen trump's attorney that has flipped on him and to work with the fbi um has started a gofundme to help um pay his legal fees and i am we're just all so very heartbroken over this dan can you cue the music please um to help set the mood um crickets do we have crickets dad well apparently yeah nobody dan's off mike shredder pooped he pooped in the office yeah it's your birthday that's the only reason we're uh we're letting them get away with it right now a nice white one too hopefully our office manager doesn't see this um what happened so so i apologize are we talking about michael cohen yeah we're a boy yeah we're talking about our boy um huh um yeah we wanted some sad music yeah i'm sorry shredder i feel bad for porsche fredrick all right michael cohen truth fund [Music] on july 2nd 2018 michael cohen declared his independence from donald trump and his commitment to tell the truth and not because he was strong armed by the fbi to avoid criminal charges against himself michael cohen made the decision to take a legal responsibility and continue his commitment to tell the truth michael decided to put his family and his country first now michael needs your financial help michael cohen yes who in 2015 reportedly purchased a 58 million dollar apartment building in new york's upper east side needs your help desperately head on over to gofundme.com h-q-j-u-p-j slash michael cohen slash truth slash fun yes the same michael cohen that had a salary from donald trump of one million dollars a year is in desperate desperate need of your help to fight the truth now that he is on the line for crimes against the fbi yes michael cohen the sad unfortunate truth teller that we all support him in his hour of need and we threw up that url on the lower third yes you guys please head on over go fund me yes the same michael cohen who at one point was worth over a hundred million dollars thanks to his ownership stake in more than 200 new york city taxi medallions my heart breaks for this sad courageous brave man who has put the truth telling first when he was faced with prison time from the fbi yes he's a brave daring man he needs all the help we can get so please head on over to michael cohen's gofundme at q at gofundme.com h-q-j-u-p-j michael-cohen-truth look at that face he needs all the help he can get folks this honorable man with a net worth of 100 million dollars he's at 170 000 after out of half a million guys we need to pay his legal fees now because if we don't then the fbi is going to lock him up for crimes he committed [Music] and he won't be able to uh you won't be able to trail the truth any longer folks [Music] and with that i say we're pretty much done so guys you can keep it going i was enjoying that oh no it started over so guys in the spirit of michael cohen the spirit of telling truth and spreading justice in this planet and this earth [Music] you know and i know you're not worth a hundred mil you don't make a million dollars a year like michael cohen but you can spare a buck [Music] and so remember to join us a week from today bill burr is going to be our guest the great the wonderful the funny there will be no episode no episode thursday yes we are going to canada we are taking a moment our mobile game is coming out this thursday stay tuned for that but enough about us i'm going to be talking about bill burr about hopefully setting up a truth fund for michael cohen bill burr flies helicopters he can afford to give this guy 10 bucks i actually should ask bilberry about this i'm curious what's this take so thank you all for tuning in i hope you have a terrific wonder wonderful week ahead shredder is [ __ ] on the floor i need to address that just clean up properly thank you dan for handling that congratulations to uh joe on the shoe nice and to all you at home who really got educated today and this h3 correct opinion zone ela do you have anything to add oh no are you feeling sad for michael cohen i'm really stunned do you have money to donate to michael cohen no really not even a dollar a dollar can save this child's life cold-blooded well i hope you all are more generous than you will thank you guys and we will see you next time thank you to michael cohen for sponsoring this episode thanks for watching thanks for watching you

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 880,459

Keywords: pewdiepie, t-series, top of the week, h3 podcast, h3h3productions, h3h3 podcast, ethan klein, hila klein

Id: HJAIRO53zOs

Length: 110min 54sec (6654 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 04 2018