H3 Podcast #77 - Alex Jones Stream Shut Down

[Music] welcome everybody to the h3 podcast soundboard experience a little late on the uptake there guys but better you know pretty close thank you to today's sponsors host mates dollar shave club that really it's so long and uh for him coming up in the month ahead we've got jacksepticeye the uh sweetest man on youtube coming up next week bert kreischer nice we've been waiting and waiting to get bert kreischer in here super funny comedian yeah love him great he was actually one of our first earliest guests we've had on here it was such a funny episode yeah lost into oblivion technical difficulties and uh he just he deserves better than that you know i felt bad about that but we're gonna do good the second this one's not gonna be as good as that one nothing will ever talk it's like that tenacious d song the greatest song in the world you know that song yeah it's like that nothing will ever be as great as the greatest song in the world but this is a tribute to it and then after that we've got tim hi decker hey that's exciting and then after that yet again later in the month adam carolla what all sealed in great wonderful guests huge month ahead very excited thank you and uh before we get into it you guys have seen us rocking grateful dead merch i love grateful dead i love their merch as much as i love their music well guess what we got our own grateful dead inspired merch say what you can't really yeah take the camera peel it down she gets naked here for a sec look at this oh my god so sick h3 productions you got shredder you got both of us i mean it's sick tie-dye soda represent.com h3 and the extra thick extra thick hat [Music] where you at love it so yeah represent dude this shirt is sick i am going to wear this shirt straight up shane dawson style i'm gonna wear this everywhere because i love it that much um that's about it i've got a question did you say the link though because it's representative.com h3h3 we had it on the screen as well okay this one this is what all the sponsors make you do they go r r e p s r e s e n t dot com you just may spell yeah i don't know yeah i don't know how to spell represent.gov slash h3 twice just look what's on the screen i don't know what i'm doing um let me ask you this ela what when you give somebody food you feed them right but when you give somebody water what is that verb called you will water them there's no word for that is there what is the word for when you give somebody water when you give them a drink not feed could you say feed them water no you drink them there's no word how is there no word for that quench you don't watch i quenched him no you water flowers right yeah but you don't want that doesn't mean this like this has been really troubling me this week people say ethan you've got serious troubles people say ethan you haven't been posting videos and disappeared what the hell have you been traveling here i haven't been able to get over the fact this whole week that there's no word for the word to drink to give somebody water in the english language we have we're celebrated for having hundreds of thousands by far the most words of any language that ever existed english language no word for giving water anybody in the chat gotta answer there's no chat there's no chat that's true i don't think there's a i don't think it exists to drink so that's been really driving keep it me up at night frankly speaking maybe in the comments you guys will figure it out but guys i googled it and for a baby you suckle them yeah that's something that only applies that sounds right oh uh yeah my friend was thirsty so i suckled in some of my water i think that that sounds like it was like hey buddy here ethan is suckling the microphone for our audio just so you know no you've got a word for thirst i'm thirsty so what happens when somebody's thirsty and you give them something there's no word you suckle there's no freaking word how is there no word for that you is that mind bending like and and i've gone my whole life too until this week without realizing that that's what's weird too this person is saying i would go with hydrate get get real you know what can i have some water yeah here dehydrated let me hydrate you no that's not right feed i fed him [Laughter] there's no freaking word um for some reason you would say water the horse water the horse or water the flower but it's not for people you could water a horse apparently you could say feeding and watering the horses so you could water the i mean it's a little confusing let me be honest half of me expects that somebody's just gonna say it and i'm like oh of course yeah uh you tinkle oh yeah have a tinkle like oh obviously no there's no freaking word so i'm i'm looking to this ongoing debate i bet you wish there was a chat right now yeah it would be nice can we invent a word like what works with fed feed and i drink i drank them some water that sounds weird feeding schmeed schmeed hey little schmeed so anyway let's get on with it all right i got a good one actually i've never heard of this word before apparently this is a thing to slake someone okay like a lake hey dan get the frick out of town nobody's liking nobody on this show all right this is a family show dan um slake that's a new one to me i don't know so guys we've got a lot to get to today oh my god we've got alex jones banned from every social media i got some thoughts about that i think you guys might enjoy listening to or not it's one of the things when you express your opinion about something like that it's like i liked you i followed you for years up until this very moment when our opinions diverged on this one thing and now i'm going to stalk you and threaten your family it's just an opinion folks you might disagree with it but it's just my opinion it's not a right opinion so that's coming up very excited about that ajit pai is back in the news i'm excited to talk about the fact that me and el are trying to have kids and i went to a fertile fertility clinic and scored it in a cup to analyze my semen and it was a freaking weird and wild experience that i can't wait i took pictures i can't wait to share with you all no it was something else man and a lot of other really exciting headlines i think you guys are going to love there was apparently in louisiana we'll save it i'll save it i'll save it my dudes i'm gonna save it all but before we get into all of that it's the goof of the day what do we got let's break the ice does the goof of the day work ela let's break the ice let's see hey definitely pierce morgan tries to sound smart on good morning britain i haven't seen this one her forehead's really glowing huh damn her forehead's very small there's makeup that is for glow like you should think she's trying to be reflective you put it in here and it's like glow but that's not a good look it just looks like she's got a greasy ass for it i mean i'm not trying to make fun i shouldn't make fun of her i'm just saying i'm just saying it could be that she was going for that there is makeup for that i i'm just saying if you put her at the top of a light tower and spun her ass around you could probably navigate some ships home you know no no no no no no no no no crickets really i thought it was right not that bad yeah so anyway a brief history of time it's that history definitely so just avoid those types yep to treat a girl right hey have you ever read the brief history of time by professor stephen a brief history of time it's that history so study into black holes um to the nearest five decimal places do you first what's your favorite color do you this is like i'm i'm embodied by so much cringe that he's trying to like make her look stupid what did they ask i didn't understand that have you ever written a brief history of time by professor stephen hawking oh like trying to see like oh you're dumb i don't think this girl ever tried to sound smart i don't think she ever presumed to be smart and then so the genius piers morgan imagine being a grown man dude and trying to humiliate some girl who's obviously not the brightest but she's not out here being like she's trying to give a phd dissertation you know she's dumb and she knows it he's like have you ever read this book by professor stephen hawking i mean i haven't sir yeah who has except [ __ ] nerds but like um she's not up there trying to be smart dude what are you trying to disprove she knows she's dumb she's like no i'm not into that stuff i'm an idiot you know that like what's your point and then the best part is this he exposes himself to be the real turd sandwich let's see it you know that the chris theorem to this 3.147 there's certainly the first four digits here's the best part first of all he names the digits for something entirely else it's pi and he gets it wrong nice i don't know that that's just what they said that's pine or pythagoras and you knew that didn't you haley it was wrong or maybe i've written it but like a normal person would wouldn't know that pierce yeah dip yeah you just showed yourself up yeah are you humiliated i've i don't even know how you get back on the tv after that humiliation but um so that's a bit of a goof of a day what were you saying dan ian has an answer about the drink situation no i just typed that when you said only nerds have read that book ian's like all right i'm kidding i i i thought about i thought about picking that book up i'm sorry and anne's like [ __ ] damn ian do you know the pie to the uh fifth digit uh no [ __ ] idiot what a [ __ ] you idiot uh what else we have one other announcement good for the day yoko ono the legendary uh lover a soulmate of the great john artist artist yeah don't i don't mean to discount her she's done so much more than just be the soul mate of john of john lennon so she's come out with a new album and she released a new single that i thought was uh provocative emotional um incredible moving moving it's called warzone anyway guys as i said pre-orders are available now great while supplies last [Laughter] is it bad to make fun of somebody for their artistic i'm not i'm not making fun i'm a doorstep you're promoting an independent artist dude i'm promoting it and thank you for doing that warzone we're just enjoying some art and now my dudes on to the main story at hand alex jones you all know him the notorious conspiracy theorist right wing i want to say a lot of people consider him right right wing i don't consider him right wing i consider him an alien i feel like i'm making him affiliated with the political party is like aliens trying to pin down like what country you exist to on mars i don't know if that made sense i feel like even mars is too uh mars is too pl it's too s too grounded of a yeah uh well anyway we'll get into that but essentially you guys know alex jones um infowars he was recently banned by youtube apple spotify and facebook banned all his channels removed he um has been making videos since about early 2001. now today he's mostly known for conspiracy theories and he's very right leaning and that he has a lot of conspiracy theories and a lot of targeted opinions about like hillary clinton and obama and what what do you call the the pizzagate stuff he was deep into i find it kind of interesting if you go back into 2001 just to lay the groundwork on who this guy is back in 2001 i have this clip from waking life he wasn't really a politically affiliated guy i just found this interesting he was very much anti-government anti-party [Music] of enemy propaganda rolling across the picket line lay down g.i lay down gi we saw it all very much just about the government system of control you know very much he specifically says in this clip like that he's not a member of any party so somehow his his you know his style has changed since then regardless um so this is what happened this is from verge which is confirmed by youtube they confirmed this this information here conspiracy theorist alex jones youtube channel received a strike on tuesday for violating the site's community guidelines verge has learned youtube room four videos from jones channel which has 2.4 million subscribers that contain instances of hate speech child endangerment sources familiar with the matter set youtube channels are deleted if they get three strikes in a three-month period two videos contained hate speech against muslims a third contain hate speech against transgender people sources said a fourth showed a child who was pushed to the ground by an adult man under the headline how to prevent liberalism all four videos yeah all four videos are currently posted on infowars now obviously i can't speak about those specific four videos because it's so hard to find i mean his shit's been like scorched earth from youtube and [ __ ] so it's really hard to find the clips in question so i'm just you know reading the description uh but this one i do have the offending video oh those videos don't include a new one which was one of his new greatest hits of him making a threatening rant about robert mueller is it mueller or muller mueller i always thought it's molar but he's saying he says we're stirred a controversy earlier this week after was posted on facebook that video does not appear to have been uploaded to youtube post on infowars said the video had been posted in a news documentary scientific or artistic contact by the way there's anyway the first reached out to infowars yada yada yada jones channel previously received strikes from youtube in february after it promoted the false theory that survivors of the parkland shooting were actually trained crisis actors that violated youtube's policy against harassment and bowling but strikes expired three months after they are issued meaning jones child currently had just one strike against him now i actually was able to find the clip of him talking about robert mueller and i thought well let's let's see what kind of stuff this guy's saying because the question right now the real debate is like is this a it's being framed by the people who support alex jones as a political silencing that he's being shut down because all these big tech companies are super liberal leaning and it's a it's a it's a political shutdown right it's censorship right so i'm like all right well like some of the videos they described could easily be like completely open to debate like they're like pushing a children to the ground it's like i don't know i have to see that yeah who knows but here i have this one of molar so let's watch this let me pop this baby open now this just happened uh very recently that's the thing is like once it's mueller everyone's so scared that's what he says he's in front of people what she did so here we go this is what he's saying that's the thing now it's like once it's mueller mueller is like a lifelong republican solid i mean he's one of the most i mean that's the same refutable guys ever like now everyone looks at molar like he's the [ __ ] or not a lot but a lot a lot of people see him as like a total piece of [ __ ] con man but i remember donald trump tweeting out when the investigation started something like i'm glad it's muller because he's so respected so now all of a sudden once it's mueller everyone's so scared of mueller they'd let mueller rape kids in front of people which he did i mean mueller covered up for a decade for epstein kidnapping kids flying them on sex planes some kids as young as seven years old reportedly with big perverts raping them to frame people i mean mueller is a monster man god imagine he's even above the pedophiles though so i mean well right off the bat can you i don't know if not that it's hard statements if i mean you can't really call a guy he's like dude you've you've straight up watched people rape kids it's like that's kind of what's the word it's a bold claim it's not a bold claim it's uh slander frankly speaking all right you can't just be like dude i have a i know i know for a fact that al jones watches people rape kids it's like all right strong statement let's keep watching i mean slander i don't that is slander word is he doesn't have sex with the kids he just controls it all right he's not interested in [ __ ] kids he just likes to uh facilitate imagine being a monster like that god god don't people say well god aren't you scared of him i'm scared of not manning up dude are you aren't you scared of talking about this dude let's give him constantly in fear that i'm not being a real man and i'm not doing what it takes and i'm not telling the truth and so call it whatever you want i look at that guy he's a picture high noon and he's going to find out when he makes a move man make the move first and then it's gonna happen it's not a it's not a joke it's not a game it's the real world politically you're gonna get it or i'm gonna die try it [ __ ] get ready we're gonna bang heads i did notice he actually was saying politically right now yeah i don't know what does he mean by that well it isn't it's very i mean it's very when you're when you're accusing somebody of like basically raping kids i mean we hold that in our culture to be one of the worst things possible to the point where you don't even respect their life yeah when you degrade someone to the point of being a child rapist really when you're saying hey i'm gonna i'm gonna shoot you if somebody goes if somebody who believes that he's a pedophile goes and murders him am i like if you're to believe that he's actually like organizing a massive pedophile ring how much sympathy do you have for the guy right so this this [ __ ] you you really i mean i feel like he's just doing a character right and like over exaggerating everything and it could be entertaining when you watch it through that lens but from what i understand a lot of people take him seriously and believe that he is believing what he's saying so i don't think he really believes what he says like about all the crazy stuff that he well there that's definitely debatable um hey guys uh let me cut in real quick um yeah wow we uh we just got taken down by youtube they just killed our stream really yep why community guidelines wow we can't even show his footage what what i'm not because it's been removed wow how stupid are you youtube alright we are back um we were live streaming and right as we were getting into it you guys saw if you're watching the vod youtube in their infinite wisdom removed our live stream and gave us a strike which basically when you get a strike you can't live stream anymore so some genius over at live tube live i'm having a [ __ ] i'm not you see what it's doing to me shredder's freaking out we've been sitting here for like an hour trying to figure out what to do some [ __ ] genius was like oh they're talking about alex jones let's remove the [ __ ] you know what is so insane is that my whole rant as i was just getting into was very i'm taking youtube's side that alex jones is a crazy conspiracy theorist who violated the terms of service was doing all this [ __ ] that shouldn't that by youtube's terms of service shouldn't be allowed and what the [ __ ] does youtube do they're like you know what we need to do they'll sit around and think what's the best thing to do right now the the most best thing that will make us look so much better ethan is defending us ethan who's defending us against alex jones right now do you know what we can do in one fell swoop to legitimize alex jones and to piss ethan off and turn him against us let's shut his channel down and give him a strike mid livestream it's brilliant let's do that shut it down what the [ __ ] like how can i even sit here now and call alex jones conspiracy theorist when our channel just got striked down for even [ __ ] talking about him not even i was criticizing him we were analyzing the situation what is it how who watched that and thought to himself this needs to be taken down right now i was literally just talking about how he defamed robert robert mueller mueller they're like dude you know what we could do to make the situation even worse for us they're like this was like a beautiful play by them they're like and one fell swoop we can turn ethan against us who's usually critic of us but in this time he's defending us we can alex jones there's an explosive sensitive situation everybody's saying that it's a conspiracy theory to censor the right-wing media and one fell swoop what can we do let's all sit and think what's the best thing got it strike their live stream and remove their ability to broadcast live let me look at my contacts we do have ethan's number we could reach out to him real quick and say hey i don't even know what they wanted to say but no no no no no that's too reasonable you know this is so stupid i have to say this is so dumb because now the people that i was criticizing are gonna use this as evidence to say hey this is proof there is a conspiracy against us after all and you know what it's hard for me now to argue against that do you understand how [ __ ] stupid you are youtube uh here let me show you some of my notes that i was going to talk about they even knew that we were going to talk about it they gave you a statement i consulted with somebody high up in youtube before this episode to get a statement from them here let me show you some of my notes that uh denver got to air this never got the air uh blas uh what's what is it called god damn it slander against mueller threats of violence clear violation of the terms of use sandy hook was was a crisis actor because i've got this whole great piece about debunking that i was so prepared i can't talk about this now how am i going to talk oh there's no conspiracy that was [ __ ] defending you and now i'm offline nobody's even freaking watching me right now it feels so weird it's like who are we talking to nobody i'm offline i'm off the frickin grid right now it's just me you and shredder who's really upset because he hasn't got walked in two freaking hours and he's supposed to only be here for one hour we're supposed to be done now i even prepared a sound bite destroy the child because i was goofing on alex jones so much you know i'm so freaking pissed off we had this amazing edit prepared it doesn't make any sense now because i can't go on and on about all right let me just summarize my points sandy hook crisis that's inappropriate it was oh anderson cooper green screen debunked it here's a lawsuit yeah sandy hook parents are suing uh uh suing alex jones because they can't visit their child's grave because they're being harassed by lunatics oh wow who cares in the five years since uh our son was killed death threats and online harassment have forced us to leave the city and relocate seven times wow big deal our channel just got shut down they now live in a high security community 100 miles away from there where the six-year-old was buried i'd love to go see my son's grave and i don't get to do that because we made the right decision to move away destroy the child you see i have content that story is pretty crazy how am i supposed to actually like be like oh yeah i've got all this gr i mean i also see a lot of people saying was a coordinated attack they just shut us down it doesn't seem that far-fetched anymore what do i do do i just show the edit we made it's pretty damn good it's such a shame not to we did prepare and edit well okay the edit is not really editorialized it's really of a immemorial dedicated to alex jones channel being removed okay it's you guys really messed up i'm looking over i i planned this really great segment you know but i can't i can't good mind i can't say it because i just got shut down so with that being said we are just gonna show you the edit we made and uh in honor of alex jones who is a you know a character a hilarious guy if you will say now it just sounds like i'm praising him after the whole [ __ ] list of grievances it's insane and now now like i hate when this happens now all of a sudden i always get [ __ ] for being like a right wing a fringe right wing like sympathizer and now i'm the continue to be the darling of the right defending alex jones why do you put me in this situation i am not that i am here to criticize and defend you and now look where it got me oh ethan the darling of the alt-right defending alex jones thank you for defending him ethan because you clearly have a point here all right [ __ ] sake just roll the edit for christ's sake play what do i do commercial after that destroy the child they're demons i know your mustache is cool you got little gold friend glasses i will go to hell i'm animated my heart's big start your journey to super male vitality i like to fight too we're gonna stomp your ass into the ground you little communist piece of trash i'm a human and i'm coming humanity's gonna come together we know we're under attack so i never expected trump charging into a goblin's nest to not get some goblin vomit slopping blood on him i don't want to see him kissing goblins spider ghosts are at least 25 years old they're bashing it because i don't like gay people i don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the freaking frogs gay gay gay i don't like gay people earn the freaking frogs [Music] they'll take all children at birth and raise them in government dormitories and do medical experiments on breaking your jaw in seconds sandy hook is a synthetic completely fake without yours i'll smash your nose into a bloody pulp the new town kids they take them put them in our face tell us their names who they were do you understand that serious crap turn the freaking frogs gay day day thank you to postmates for sponsoring us i cannot endorse postmates enough okay oh there's apps that can bring you food homemates can bring you food it can bring you anything i use postmates on a weekly basis let me tell you what i use it for 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strike okay we can live stream now but i mean obviously we have to finish offline yeah we started already we're going to combine the episodes they said they were wrong it was a mistake whatever that means somebody removed the video it wasn't if they could let's put it this way they if they could redo it again they would leave the video up somebody's probably getting fired today yeah right you think someone's getting fired it was just some grunt that's how you what kind of a mistake is that you just go and give someone a strike because they have like really obtuse rules it's like some grunt who's making ten dollars an hour in india for all i know you know what i'm saying and it's like these these lo this is how youtube's formatted it's just so ridiculous it's like formula alex jones video yeah they they saw it as a re-upload and not somebody talking about it obviously you could talk about it so they said it was a mistake but like this is the problem with how youtube formats their company it's so ridiculous there's some some it's an anonymous ridiculous shutdown our stream they know us they have our phone number they know we were going to talk about it it's like you guys well i never went i never went beyond you know an 18 year old dude's first job who's making 10 an hour who was just like i got reported or this matches alex jones content it shouldn't be re-uploaded he opens it and he's like you know what [ __ ] this guy it's like damn come on y'all [ __ ] god damn it all right i don't know how to move on i know it's i don't know how we're going to talk about a squirting and a cup oh my god squirting in a cup so upset that we're offline right now and the whole episode is so weird now because like we're trying like how do you talk about something else i'm gonna try let's get off this so the other week i went to a fertility clinic we're trying to have a kid we don't know why we we've been you know we've been trying to i've been trying to [ __ ] knock you up for like how long i don't know here you're probably trying to [ __ ] make some damn babies sometimes i wonder i'm like [ __ ] maybe i see friends with kids and i'm like damn i don't know if i want to maybe it's not happening yeah maybe we shouldn't do this dogs i do like to sleep at night i love sleep i don't like to sleep too much but at night i prefer to sleep love sleep we have friends with kids they're like it's been two years they're still like yeah we don't have yeah i hate my life they're like oh kids are the best meanwhile like kids are the best thing you'll ever do meanwhile it's like yeah i didn't get any sleep i have to leave every time we hang out at 3 p.m i'm trying i'm praying to escape my family for any for five minutes at a time yeah it's really great so anyway it's pretty weird why do we all want to do it to ourselves why do you want why do we want kids like what is wrong with us it's just if we have shredder he's perfect yeah he's a perfect angel like as perfect as could be i remember how happy we were when we left him at home for like or we took him to the groomer yesterday for like three hours and we left him at the groomer no i'm still paranoid about what happened in those three hours that we weren't with him yeah i have a fear that they put a finger up his ass or something in a weird way because there are rumors i'm telling you the truth our groomers are [ __ ] weird the woman who receives him doesn't have teeth she's literally toothless she has like a nub rotting away in her mouth but it's not a weird it's like a really nice place yes but i have to say in a main local area like it's not like we're taking him to a weird place we're taking him to a nice place right five-star but in my mind if i were to imagine a lady the [ __ ] dogs that's what i would imagine and then she goes shredder has this move when he cuddles with you that he looks inside your ear no no no yeah and so she goes she says to me what i just don't want i know where you're going with it and i don't want this thought in my head well i don't know what happened but she says to me when we went to pick him up she's like oh that's his move huh that he looks in the ears i was like that sounds like shredder but i'm also like what situation is he why is he up there what was she doing why was she why was he capable of putting his tongue in her ear you're thinking he gives a good head you're thinking no but i was so wrong i don't know i was afraid that you were going to say that she was enjoying it or something but not i'm not he doesn't like peanut butter natural so that one imagine what her mouth looks like imagine whatever no okay looks like no probably got rotting teeth in the china no no so anyway for those reasons and so for at any rate imagine having a kid you leave your dog for three hours if the sick thoughts you have in your mind so anyway i went to i went to uh for tenure for utility clinic to analyze my semen it's a funny situation that i wanted to talk about by the way checks out my siemens great normal normal not he wasn't like dude you're saving his think the doctor's like your semen is insane bro it's normal he said it's normal that's dank if you're seeming normal that's dang so anyway you go to this little um it's just this little office they bring into this back little room and they bring you into this room and they're like all right well here's a cup you jerk and do and when you're done you bring it out and there's like a little you know little window you open and then you put the cup in and you close it and i guess some other person back there gargles they go checks out you see him it's fine no whatever they do and then why do you even think about this stuff like would that be funny though no because you you imagine there's like advanced machinery and they looking at it under a telescope but it's just some [ __ ] weirdo who gargles it they're like it's a little on the weak side i think it is advanced machinery yeah it's just a funny thought hilo anyway i walked into the room and i was so i was just repulsed i had i took a bunch of pictures of the room that i want to show you guys so let me let me open that up where's all this [ __ ] on my desktop god go away [ __ ] off oh my god kidding me so here squirting in the cup pictures got a slideshow for you guys so here's the room hello so here's the room i'm gonna describe it for our audio listeners so this so here what are we so basically now what you're looking at is headphones that are plugged in to the tv okay now look next to it at the wall there's drip running down the wall oh yes what like some dude's just jerked all over the wall and there's just like stains on oh my god the headphones are on the ground it's like imagine you're putting those on your head why is it on the ground you look look dude there's a splooge uh drip look by the left headphone there's like a wet drip there you see that right here might well i'll put the mouse over it you see this there's a sploon strip oh you don't see it no look there's this hold on right here it's a sploon strip oh what so okay so i was like holy [ __ ] yeah i am the one dirty so these are like they've got like playboys and stuff in this imagine touching that these sticky ass pages little white oh it's coming it's magazines it's on the wall they've got like playboys and hustlers and [ __ ] but like this has been handled by thousands of dudes who have jerked off before you imagine touching that i feel like you gotta wear like a hazmat suit when you walk into this room bro i dropped i was like when i walked in well wait do you see the chair so this is more of the same i mean yeah just look at this chair that's the first thing you see when you walk in the room oh my gosh it looks like a torture chair crazy it's like a b pad like shredders p-pads it's like it's like yeah dude that's fine i'll totally jerk off in that chair now that you've covered it with it's a pee pad what do they expect that you like get naked and sit on that i don't know you got to do what you got to do that's the only chair in the room i did a standing up yeah no matter how much this chair was covered i would not sit on it no i was horrified when i walked in that's when i decided to get my camera out when i saw this chair i was like this is unbelievable what do they expect that you're gonna jerk off onto the chair i don't know you know some weird dudes are into this they're like they probably don't even they do this every week they don't even need the it just turns them on this is so gross here's the cup yeah so you crack it open you do the deed and then you have to put the exact time you squirted so it was like 11 53 and you know the exact minute what does that mean because so you because i guess you know over time the semen degrades so like the minute matters i like it like right next to the tv remote so potentially my sema could be even stronger and they were just a couple minutes off right imagine touching anything in that room so they've got a tv with like porn on it and you can put the headphones off and sit in the chair and jerk off which was insane i just stood right there i squirted all over the [ __ ] chair and everything no i didn't look at this trash can full of jizz rags oh my god they don't even empty that's what it was when i walked in just full of rags it doesn't even have a top like at least use a trash can with a top or something just close up why are the headphones on the ground yeah i mean there's nothing crazy there's a little floor so here's the situation what some lube a tiny really old tv i mean gosh then doesn't it cost money to do this yeah it was like 200 bucks so what's with the shitty room they don't even have money for like a nice error look tv stand it's all it's all gonna be on this tiny look i don't know what you know i know ladies need some kind of romancing i literally i was like listen i'm here i [ __ ] i dropped trowel it i probably was in and out okay no sound one minute i didn't want to spend another second in there just by being in there with my dick out i thought i was going to get like worked this oral thing empty it looks empty it's very low evil it's got a lot of use i mean just imagine like imagine this you're about to jerk off with this lube and you have to touch yeah like even the act of squirting it out like they did it's like they're not aware of how gross ever i need to go in there like a full body condom so that's it that's my tour of the i can't believe you have but then the weird thing is like you go in the room and then you you do it in the cup and you bring it out and then you have to go back in the lobby and meet the mer the nurse so you like go and you face this middle aged woman who's like you just dripped it off and then you go to billing and some old ladies like here's your here's your bill for jerking off that's so weird like in what situation can you just everyone knows you're jerking off and it's all good it's a bunch of strangers it's an interesting thing so we all did our test and everything is normal so maybe we should just not have a kid because it's a sign from god well just don't let me back in that room it's crazy it's a crazy thing yeah you just sheepishly walk out they sit your ass in another lobby and everyone's staring at you like this dude just drinked off that's what you feel like everyone's looking at although they do it all day they don't even care no they don't care yeah i wonder if they ever see a guy like walk out and there's like some jizz on a shoe or something probably they've probably seen that [Music] [Laughter] pretty wild stuff um we wanted to talk about youtube stream podcast it's hard to get back into it i'm exhausted because we've been here for like five hours i'm like i'm worthless after a couple of hours when we do these my voice is already hurting from talking so much yeah we've just i mean we haven't even started i thought the [ __ ] were this episode sucks what else we got agit pie it's hard to go on i'm exhausted we got this segment from ian yeah i think we'll have to we're going to axe ian segment should we just bring him out and do a segment let's just i don't know it's a let's just get through this let's see let's let's slam through it ajit pai he's back oh i can't muster the strength to care about this i just realized how long has this been dan um well because of all the starting and stopping a little tough to say let's see uh probably just about an hour the episode's an hour long oh my god it feels like we've been here forever feels like a week yeah i think we're actually probably under an hour even oh my god are you serious yeah i mean the longest hour episode ever we've been recording for uh 16 minutes uh jesus christ since we came back in from the sponsor read and i think we broke at the 35 minute mark sponsor reads about five minutes long so yeah all right about an hour edgy pie you guys remember this [ __ ] idiot look at this idiot let me show you this face you guys got the most goofiest goddamn face and i say that only because he's such an [ __ ] actually it's facing the article you're gonna open is funnier is it let's see so edgy pie the chairman of the fcc lied to congress about alleged cyber attacks that didn't actually happen so when you guys remember this huge battle for net neutrality we actually made a podcast about it too um oh let me show this you mean this one here i love the framing of that shot i mean i can't call you can't ever complain oh that's a bad photo of me when like your your actual headshot looks like this like this guy just he looks goofy in every photo come on like that's his that's the picture on the wall so this is the guy this picture yeah you guys don't remember we've talked about him so edgy pie during this huge raging debate about net neutrality um god i can't muster the strength to care about this [Laughter] this is so hard so i mean it is what it is we don't have to do this this is the failed episode what we planned is not anymore anyway they said they got so many people that were like [ __ ] you i want net neutrality that their website crashed and they're like see how bad we want net neutrality and the fcc was like actually you guys have greatly exaggerated how many people have come because the reason our website got shut down is because we were hacked and ddos attacked by people trying to make it look like there was more people than there were so they just made it outright lied because these such a little [ __ ] [ __ ] look at this like how does isn't there a whole team that has to agree on that statement yes ma'am they all agreed so it first came out by like their their tech person and then edgy pi boy came out and did a press conference in front of congress and said we were ddos attack now everybody who knows about tech was looking at it and being like there's no evidence we're almost certain that didn't happen and it came to the point where it was pretty much proven that they were never ddos attacked so were they are now forced to just recently august 8th to admit that they lied about an alleged cyber attack that didn't actually ever happen because they look like such idiots i mean this i'm not surprised this is the guy who made those videos about net neutrality in his santa suit so do they get any kind of punishment for lying about it yeah in a sane world but my friend that is far from the world we live in but just know that this he got a pie in the face but it's not the first it won't be the last and this i think this guy's just used to having cream all over his face you know what i'm saying yep if his face got creamed anymore he'd look like the chair in that office do you know what i'm saying i know okay i got through that story what else we got film academy awards new category at the academy what do you call those the oscars what do you call those yeah the oscars new category at the oscars outstanding achievement in popular film because all the popular films never get nominated because it's all this art [ __ ] that nobody's [ __ ] watched by the way i kind of agree like the shape of water who cared about that movie i don't understand was like moonlight which was like the super like i know like 10 people saw that i haven't seen that one so i can't tell but i saw when i was traveling to israel i got to watch a bunch of movies so i saw the shape of water and i was like what who cares about this movie she [ __ ] a fish she falls in love with him for no reason it's like the the story was so weird i haven't seen it but eela has a really good you wouldn't like it i was like let me let me get this straight it's a chick flick it's about the power of love when a [ __ ] can be so sorry i shouldn't say it like that i shouldn't frame like that when a girl i didn't mean yeah she's not a [ __ ] she's like yeah i just mean that in like the colloquial sense but i shouldn't say that so when a sweet young lovely misunderstood yeah because she can't talk she's so misunderstood she's mute yeah that true love can still find you in the end in the form of a giant fish [ __ ] he looks like a fish monster or whatever tell me does she actually [ __ ] him yes they actually have sex they are biologically capable of having sex yes and it's she does it in an apartment that is not hers she fills up the i mean i don't know if this is like if anyone's gonna get upset for me spoiling the shitty movie but nobody cares um she fills up the bathroom with water spoiler that they [ __ ] i don't know i mean i i knew about it before i watched the movie so i don't think so everyone has talked about it already what if there's a sexual act they do with the gills no he she they acknowledged that he has like a yeah they welcomed out do they ever acknowledge how big it is no but she fills up the bathroom with water so that they can swim together the bathroom yeah she fills up the room with the water how's that possible not possible you need to do movie reviews this is great and then the water is leaking through the whole building so and somehow she's a hero she didn't care about everyone else in the building celebrated when she destroys this whole building yes floods this whole building so she can get a little fish dick because she's so pathetic and lonely she can't go over the corner bar to the dive and get some dick the normal way yes and we're giving her academy awards eli you need to do movie reviews you're such a hater like in a great way dude we need ela movie reviews holy [ __ ] so anyway outstanding achievement in popular film it's kind of a slap in the face though too it's like it's not a real category it's like yeah it's it's like associated fast and furious is the winner fast and furious 21 is the winner an outstanding achievement in popular film everyone stands up and claps to like fake ass award they even they even give examples movies like the guardians of the galaxy and star wars films can be nominated for both this new category and best picture however the intent of this category is to honor more popular blockbuster type movies a la the avengers or star wars i mean look if you can't make a good movie that's popular both like lord of the rings one i'm surprised star wars doesn't win anything yeah why they well you remember the star lord of the rings was like sweeping every year because guess what it's popular and good yeah what popular and good makes it the best and that's when you win this new category is [ __ ] everything up because no longer can you be like popular and good god forbid and you know what it is it enables hollywood to be even more [ __ ] that's true because they're going to be like well um we'll win this shitty nominee biggest [ __ ] wasted time award because like they also enabling them they also are gonna make the award show shorter because they acknowledge that it's boring and no one is watching down to a mere three hours from four are you kidding me i'm an hour and a half in this podcast and i'm [Laughter] rather watch this i'd rather watch her have sex with her fish for three hours he's like a fish god he's a fish god he's probably but they never explain why they never show like what's so god-like about him his [ __ ] [ __ ] they explicitly refer to him as a godly being what the hell they say that he's a god yeah he's a fish god okay they're like what's godly they're like what makes them a god they're like 15 inches it's just so like typical there's like this evil man who just want to kill him for no reason for no reason and then she's the only one who sees the beauty in him right so stupid there's got to be a button for this destroy the child there's no context i never did the bit it's alex jones saying well we did show the edit yeah we did um i could do a movie review i hate dude we need i hate 90 of all movies that's perfect i don't know if it's a new segment if it's an h3 video i don't know movie reviews so insane well let's start on the podcast it's kind of embarrassing it's kind of like the the segment that i hate on jimmy kimmel except that you're actually coherent and have an opinion he's just doing nothing what's his name yeah yeah i mean he just rants incoherently and it's just because he has an accent you're like a glorious hater like you are dismantling this dumbass video like that's a beautiful thing i'll think about it i i i anyway but you know you guys judge for yourself but i i do fear that like but you guys are going to hate me because i hate movies that you like probably it's so good though but they can't hate you because you're so lovable all right what else we got amazon glasses my throat is actually hurting i feel like i've been talking non-stop for like 10 hours amazon is patented some goggles and by the way yada yada the workers they wear it it's augmented reality so they work more effectively here's a picture they look like ski goggles it's pretty nuts their warehouse is so big that they need to create goggles that gives you it's like a gps it tells you turn left turn right to get the product speculate that this tech is actually being used to train deep learning ai so that they can eventually throw out all these [ __ ] loser-ass humans and just have robots doing it interesting what's next we're so [ __ ] when there's no jobs left you know what i'm saying anyway i don't really believe in that because there will be new jobs you know well there is a problem i mean like historically it's like people don't ride horses anymore so but then it brings new youtube videos yeah well how many people can youtube hire no but i mean there's new jobs like before but it's shrinking because automation automation was never a problem was like shifting fields yeah it was like oh we don't need people to raise horses but now we're building cars and it's a new field or like you don't need people digging coal up but now there's all these people in renewable energy exactly but automation's a different issue yeah so it's literally replacing people yeah of every job yeah it's all because you gotta order your q tips and one day shipping from amazon instead of walking to a rock five minutes away from your house dude you know we're guilty of that every day anyway what else we got ian you want to do this uh presentation for christ's sake little uzi here's another ian put together segment for us lil uzi vert who's a hip hop rapper he raps he um he ripped off or let's not say ripped off he got inspired by the art of heaven's gate cult if you guys don't remember these sweet very inspired and creative individuals the heavens gate colt they were the guys you guys may recall when haley bopp came around which is this comment that comes around earth about every two thousand years or so dan is that correct me from wrong approximately yeah that's right and um hail bottom hale bob sounds like i'm such a great sounds like an artist haley bop hillbop anyway these dudes um they actually you know drinking the kool-aid but these are the guys they that's their mean they're the original they're the original drinks no they were uh applesauce those guys oh no it is uh jonestown different different culture god can we retake this apple plus what they do with the apple socks poison cyanide well they're the nike they had these sweet ass nikes right i did hear about the nikes yes so they all were weren't looking like so fresh like ultimate sneaker heads these guys and they had these fresh ass nikes on and um they ate this applesauce with poison in it and they all said smell you later earth and in their they believe that haley bop behind hilly bop whatever [ __ ] haley bop billy bob is it bob what is it dan i believe it's hail bop hail bop with a p we can that be hard at the end or is it a p how do we pronounce it hale bop we're fact checking this right now bob we got the uh my kids bought them yeah the expert you can get him in there so hale bop not yet hail bop comes around every 2000 years and they thought there's an alien spaceship the mothership that cruises behind the comet and if they kill themselves when it's close to the earth they go up to the spaceship i don't know why they're why are they so eager to get on that spaceship ian will be able to answer that for us what's going on on that spaceship that's so dope parties i love that they were all like we've determined that this nike is the freshest and we want to bring these with us i wonder if today would be yeezys or what no they're like these yeezys are the freshest shoe for eternity it's too hard to get so what some cold guys are gonna be like you know how hard it is to get 10 yeezys are you kidding me anyway um so they died and but and so anyway there's two of them that they left behind to maintain the website which is hilarious in its own right so here is um their original art here heaven's gate which is pretty sick honestly yeah what does it say as was promised the keys to heaven's gate are here again and that fonts kind of tricky and and do the ufo2 as they were in jesus and his father two thousand years ago oh i guess their theories that it passed last time it passed was when jesus was alive so he jumped on up to the spaceship what kind of dumbass plot is that of jesus to be like yo i came to this planet to create life and die for all your sins but guess what my spaceship only comes around every two thousand years and you gotta be wearing knives wearing the freshest no jesus was the ultimate sneaker head i love the graphic though dude their graphic design is insane and like the gate looks like a key so i don't it's so good so and his new album art was here i'll show you obviously like i don't know if you want to call it a parody but obviously really already heavily you know inspired by and and frankly it's so sick theirs is better yeah theirs was like ultimate freshness as was promised the keys to eternal outtake are here in love and rage the ufo two as a little uc vert and his father 2000 years ago anyway i love it i think it's great what he did but guess who didn't heaven's gate who remembered the two guys who by the way probably have a chip on their shoulder because all their [ __ ] homies are cruising on a ufo with jesus having a crazy party with these yeah like crazy sneaker head party so they're they got a chip on their shoulder and frankly i don't blame them so they're threatened to sue little uzi vert and um that kind of leaves us off with ian who as you know is the keeper of culture and knowledge he's here to report on the huge drama that has been sending shock waves throughout the hip-hop community and the earth at large um he's even been in touch with their surviving two cult members he's been in contact he has communications with them so with that being said ian please you're actually i think you were supposed to come in already if i'm being frank hit him with you hit him with the stinger oh you're waiting for me all right okay so um as you guys are setting that up kind of kind of botched the timing a little bit oh my god mind jesus christ what happened you have an excuse what are we thinking are you blind no are you blaming dan bit it out and spit it out what's on your mind nothing there's clearly something on your mind that you want to say so if you have an excuse for what's for this tell me what's on your mind what's on my mind is heaven's gate all right okay you're gonna play it cool that's fine but this was good at you know burning the time i'm all right well so here we go so ian has put together in his classic form a powerpoint presentation and once again is the keeper of culture and knowledge and power points yeah which we love very much which is the intersection doesn't cross very frequently the powerpoint and the keeper of cult and youth culture he's bringing powerpoint i want to bring powerpoints into the mainstream a little more i think i'm glad to hear that it's a great format so with that being said ian please lead us on a bizarre journey into outer space and beyond okay thank you uh aliens cult and hip-hop uh an investigation by ian the intern that is me uh you kind of prefaced a lot of it you know but i had a little back story with little uzi vert grammy nominated rapper uh six times platinum hit single uh exo tour life uh cultist huh do we know well this is the question that i'm seeking out to answer emojis thank you damn yeah i had to pay extra for the emoji pack you know for the powerpoint no you don't know how to png i don't know what's that anymore uh so on july 6th this is where it all started lil uzi vert changes his instagram profile picture to the following that's the leader this is yeah this squidward squidward looking fella look at that face and tell me that dude is not on a spaceship with jesus right the f now that guy's a cult there yeah he's a guy i could get behind i think also an interesting note uzi's only following one person and it's uh marilyn just manson dramatic yeah it's interesting so that's what kicked it off and then on july 31st he releases his album cover the one you mentioned there and then on august 1st he tweets the following i never really worry because i will definitely transfer to another body please come with me i'm part of the new movement which those are some ideas from heaven's gate so do you okay i'm interested i didn't know that he was actually yeah he's did he get the memo because that comment doesn't come around for a bit well that's what i asked him about as let's not get i mean i'm gonna let you do your thing okay i'm captivated though it is interesting uzi wants to ride the mothership because he didn't just grab the graphic he's actually saying you know like transferring to another body or some of their beliefs so uh what all this mean so what all this means what all this mean we need to know so there's them side by side uh the the bottoms there like uh here again in t and do those were the names of the two leaders da was the squidward-looking man okay t passed away and then he kind of went a little loopy that was his wife or his significant other they were the cult leaders together he believes like it says as they were in jesus 2000 years ago he believes that he is jesus the guy is jesus yeah and he's trying to get back to god not like he was actually him but he's been possessed by an alien spirit that also possessed jesus 2000 years ago oh damn so jesus was possessed by an alien found people took them up and then came back 2000 years later wow and grabbed a couple more so that's that's the belief system there i gotta say design-wise that g really nestles into that keyhole way better than that yeah it definitely does someone pointed out to me as well that like the green bay packers kind of stole the logo the g is like the same g dude these guys are prolific designers yeah like this design is kind of next level insane i know it's great bring me up man yeah also like the i have to say the um curvature of the earth is really like accurate yeah that's a really powerful curve curvature of a huge planet earth but oozy on there you went a little too much curvature yeah it's more of like a new ball so this is the guy marshall applewhite applewhite white yeah interesting because then he had them all kill themselves with applesauce i thought it was inspired unwarring white snake a fun little easter egg so here's a clip of him your only chance to evacuate is to leave with us he looks like he doesn't drink lots of water about to be recycled your only chance to he doesn't blame god survive okay where did this graduate is he recorded these tapes kind of as a way to get people on board and up to speed oh this is a recruitment technique yeah whoa yeah so yeah in march of 1997 38 members of the heavens gate cult eight poison applesauce killed themselves and attempted to board the comet and uh they all put on identical outfits in matching nike decades before the deed so i have a picture of that in this next one nice uh fresh as hell yeah thank you oh they have a little patch yeah they designed that patch as well and they all had it on their shoulders picture sick uh the nikes are discontinued and incredibly rare a few pairs on ebay are going for around eight hundred dollars right now that's pretty ordinary there's so much people are watching yeah the shoe itself isn't that nice but it's just iconic yeah it's interesting how that's appealing but uh yeah the remaining members are threatening legal action now hold on i'm in i'm fascinated by the fact that some of these guys were left behind to chug the apple juice or not to chug that you know what i'm saying yeah yeah they're left behind specifically to do a couple just to maintain the website yeah i asked them about that uh am i getting ahead of myself do you have you haven't yet all right so this is their website like as it looks today nice it hasn't changed since 1997. i love this motif yeah they really stuck with it so i was just saying i spoke with the remaining member to get some clarification so my first thing i i said had you heard of uzi before what do you think of his music who designed the original logo it's pretty eye-catching they said uh we did not hear of him before the 31st very specific we know nothing of his music it was designed by a couple members of the group in the spring of 96 so a year before they all said see yeah yeah all took off this is not the first time a musician has co-opted heaven's gate uh in 2016 frank ocean used the same imagery for his song nikes so here's a picture from his music video uh and i was like what do you think of people where's the inspiration yeah what is that you can see the in the the bed there and the nike shoes that's that's like the picture yeah oh what they're gonna come on dude i was just curious contribute yeah so i said yeah do you find it upsetting or are you glad to see that heaven's gate is impacting popular culture uh what is the appeal really good questions ian i was getting curious they sent me a whole uh they understand that it's pervaded the culture but frank ocean was not infringing on logos so right so they're not upset these guys are like very business oriented yeah they're very business very business they don't mess around can we just acknowledge this is kind of insane that ian's having a conversation with people yeah how did you get in touch with them they have you can reach out that's all they do is answer emails that's damn one of their main if they have pages and they don't have a job they do either they do they don't say what no did they i have an idea of what it may be but they didn't explicitly say what's your idea do you use that later yeah okay can't wait so they told me that they weren't bothered by that they know that their information is controversial artists reflect the social discussion many are interested in the information and that the generation z group wants to learn more and are not as put off as others have been over 21 years we are not here to waste our time eventually they want to seed the planet and break through with their information we are not here to harm mankind we are here to educate and inform so uh i said you're mentioning that you're hoping to see the planet i've come to understand that the next level that's kind of what they call heaven is only accessible every two thousand or so years with the passing of the comet is that the only way to get there it's estimated to return in the year 4380 what are your plans for the next 2 362 years uh are you ex are you planning on just spreading the teachings throughout the next two millenniums by way of reincarnation because they believe in reincarnation okay they kind of sassed me a little bit here really where did you get the idea that we time ourselves to space debris hold on wait the comet is space debris that yeah apparently the comet isn't the ufo the ufo is behind it in like a jet stream but he's saying that the ufo can come around any time yeah okay he says the next level created this universe and can come and go whenever and wherever they choose we don't know when they will return but we'll be less than 900 or so yeah okay so they'll be so not worried so they're just a quick 900 yeah i love them were they where did you get the i love face debris yeah like you simple mortal yeah dumb ass for thinking this uh i love that they say we don't know when it will return but it will be within 900 years yeah no worries okay yeah yeah nathan fielder would just be like okay i said when the members left for the next level what was the conversation like in which you were instructed to stay behind how many were asked to stay did you feel reluctance or possibly relief whoa uh you know i'm curious and they said there were no conversations we received our instructions all the group departed by 6 p.m on march 24th there were no options just instructions it sounds kind of he's there's some baggage there yeah they didn't really they just kind of said okay this is what we're told and we'll have to do it but but this guy there's there's some real do you think there's some yeah like he's just like we're just loyal soldiers and we just get an instruction and follow it yeah but like you can tell there's some resentment there you'd think i mean if the 39 people are going to like this space paradise there has to be and but we need you to stay behind and do just like [ __ ] you yeah like they're all doing their thing you know what i'm saying he's he's worshipping the next level yeah yeah we need somebody to [ __ ] somebody asked me to stay the night extra to maintain the website i'm upset imagine 900 years yeah but who's going to watch like little uzi vert and see what he is how many were left behind and how will you reach the next level uh they said eight were left behind five have died of natural causes but completed their tasks in 1997-98 we two are left in arizona and one is in los angeles uh we will rejoin them in a classroom situation at some point in time through incarnation what a classroom situation what does that mean what does that mean oh i have no idea oh it sounds like oh we will reincarnate and rejoin them in a classroom situation yeah so you're all just chilling in class breakfast club shredder you're messing up yeah so i don't know what the classroom i kind of love this guy how this is kind of an old guy it must be right it's a couple um the the the couple that live in arizona i think i'm jumping from one to the to the other in these responses oh yeah but they must be on the older side like yeah like 60s maybe because the cold later the cold started around the 70s so they speak kind of like old people yeah yeah no emojis i asked them as your primary directive to manage the website and answer inquiries do you have other duties i was reading some of the guidelines for the group and they're really restrictive down to like they were instructing how big your pancakes could be just for dietary purposes do you have hobbies outside of heaven's gate maybe your favorite movie or favorite album i was hoping that they'd give me something yeah or like we love like nacho libre or something but uh some did internet stuff media coverage one was assigned a production task with filmmakers that didn't work out i actually found that story that was a producer to make the film and he went on tv and was talking about it and he was on probation for auto theft and they saw him on television in california with the cult and immediately went and rested him i think that sort of fell through uh so we work full time to pay for everything and take care of the group affairs all the other times so no hobbies no we have the duties of providing information they're just very focused on their i love the how forthcoming they are though yeah they're just like dude whatever you want man yeah whatever you gotta ask uh so and they got back to you pretty quick right what is this yeah they're very fast at responding so i found that when they before everyone went on the spaceship they the way they made money was actually a lot of them were programmers and so this was their old website called higher source that they would use to get programming jobs and this is on the way back machine in 1997 i don't think it's there anymore so i just looked at what type of websites they designed and if you go on their website design tab here's a list of stuff they've done i clicked on one of them this is prima donna they designed this website for a unauthorized madonna cd yeah was it not who made it uh it's madonna but it's like a bootleg and someone hired them to sell this bootleg cd and they made this pretty uh awesome website here so that's how they got their money uh it's interesting looking at all these old websites i wonder if you're sitting on like a small fortune from these madonna bootlegs i'm sure it was a big business still working some day job hey somebody's got to pay a hosting bill oh they are working day jobs right yeah so i read about the website design were you one of the designers have you ever considered updating the website to make it a little more modern i could give you an offer code with squarespace [Laughter] and uh they weren't on the design team so they aren't still designing right now so i know they said no thank you the website is to remain as it was in march 97. really good job promoting our sponsors i wanted to if i wanted to reach the next level what are the main steps i should take traders destroying the power cable by the way [Music] i read that the next level is an actual planet is there an actual hell to like mustafar in the outer rim that's where uh is that a reference i'm not getting that's where obi-wan cut off anakin's arms great uh the next levels across the universe there are no steps that can be taken in this era so if you want to go now you're kind of out of luck um you're ranked number seven on watch mojo's list of top ten what do you think of that i i thought that was the [ __ ] uh i mean i figured that's kind of an honor right we don't think watchmojo means that much shots yeah what is the biggest misconception you believe people have when it comes to the group that the members were weak-minded gullible and brainwashed just the opposite is true uh i read that the group purchased alien abduction insurance from a uk-based insurance provider prior to march 24th is is this true this is like a rumor floating around and it's on their wikipedia that they bought alien abduction insurance uh there's actually a company in uh the the best business ever to be in how much does it cost for alien insurance there's a anyone listening right now if you want alien insurance email me i'll assure you there's a company in the uk and geico has a report on it that uh they've sold over thirty thousand insurance policies holy spirit alien absolutely that is the best business they said that they looked into it but didn't buy it the internet turned a humorous inquiry by us into a weird insurance event that never happened it was blown way out of proportion so they just goofed so this is uh i this is pretty pretty in a short way i asked if little uzi vert could help carry the torch and spread the word sure if he is open to learning with this new movement he mentions or does he not have what it takes they go little uzi vert would have to make a dramatic change in his grasp of what the next level is really like it would fizzle right so they don't trust him to carry on at a concert recently this freaked everyone out where he said dude you guys are basically an old friend i know i feel like you're like one i feel like ian's gonna show up covered in a blanket with some nikes on in a couple weeks uh after i don't know if i'm gonna stop talking get sucked in i know i'm saying i'm concerned i've started to rethink some things i may need to get some insurance i got you i assure you at a concert recently uzivert kind of freaked out his fans because he said you uh you all have entered the rapture no one's flying up to heaven obviously all of you are going to hell ride with me you're already here so sorry you can't get out you're stuck it's over you heard the songs a million times you didn't even know so he's saying that his songs are like a gateway to getting people to go to hell that's a pretty foul thing to say to your fans yeah and i was just like what his fans got kind of freaked out but expecting like the ground to like open up from batman yeah i asked what do they think of this if you say little oozy verb fast enough it sounds like lucifer little lucy vert lucifer and uh i i they said he does not know the ways of the next level everything he talks about has nothing to do with us he has to comply with copyright law dude what's with little uzi is he really like nah he's just doing an act yeah okay yeah that's how i sit i'm splitting this is a picture that's on him on his facebook his official facebook is lily's vert starting a uh luciferian space cult and dragging his fans to hell is kind of the question that looks pretty serious that painting i don't know that's the official painting yeah anna nicki minaj released a song this morning one of the lyrics was like when i told uzi to go to hell i didn't mean it literally and that's that's today his representatives did not respond to quest for comment i reached out to uzi's uh people he did yeah is a little izzy verb planning on starting a space called who's ever demon should i be scared of missing i love how credible your inquiries look ian they didn't answer and i have no responsibility i have no idea why they wouldn't answer us this reputable h3 podcast no to us ian so the moral of the story really after all this is beware of rappers offering you applesauce you know it may be poison sure don't get sucked in just don't eat applesauce who's eating be safe avoid applesauce all together because what are you if you're over at the age of a year yeah yeah yeah uh watch out for guys that look like this this is a photo taken from their websites on the landing page how a member of the kingdom of heaven might appear so if you see a guy you got a dope-ass tracksuit pop-on like some adidas [ __ ] yeah everything about snickerheads they're all very fashionable so if you see that guy walking around you know look out and get some abduction insurance really good and that's uh that's the end so that's what we've learned give me some applause here that was another great presentation by ian the intern i tell before i send you out tell me about your how was it reporting that how was it talking with the members of this infamous cult i mean did you feel a lord because they had some kind of a business-like charm i'll say did you feel like you wanted to hang out with them tell me did you learn anything yeah i well at first i was like oh god are these people gonna you know be weird and freaky and try and find out what like scientology will kind of come for you yeah these guys have kind of been like we're good we got 900 years to chill out so they're not very urgent they're pretty relaxed just don't mess with their copyright yeah most definitely well apparently they are not suing they're threatening to sue they're threatening and now he seems like he may be changing he's backing off yeah wow so it's an interesting story that's a shame all right thank you anne thank you [Music] [Applause] guys thank you for watching remember to hit up represent.com h3 for this sega ass two weeks only available grateful dead merch inspired merch this was a rough ride i maybe we'll do the alex jones segment later because i think it's good but i just can't do it now i feel so exhausted man hope this was a watchable episode it was a wild weird freaking twisted ride and now we have to upload it tomorrow because it's already like six takes eight hours i mean it takes till eight to put it up it's too late we gotta upload it tomorrow hey oh well so guys stay tuned because we have got a slamming schedule jacksepticeye burke chrysler tim heidecker adam carolla looking good for the hp podcast yeah as long as we don't get banned from live streaming on youtube everything's looking up for us and remember we'll see you in the next level thanks for watching mother ship is in the sky and i'm about to hit your ride that means kill myself um alright guys catch you next time [Music] you

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 1,180,188

Keywords: Alex Jones, Alex, Jones, Infowars, h3 podcast, h3h3 podcast, podcast, h3h3, h3h3productions, ethan klein, hila klein, stream shutdown

Id: fA8eOB91-fY

Length: 98min 4sec (5884 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 11 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Cooliomendez88]

I usually watch whilst grinding or doing side activities whilst playing games

[u/Omrimg2]

Not gonna lie, Ian's presentation was pretty fascinating.

[u/gotnonips]

what was the reason for moving the podcast over to YouTube? Did they have problems with Twitch?

[u/johnsmith1227]

My fav part is when he got mad

[u/pm_nudesladies]

We did it reddit.