George Carlin: pro-life, abortation & the sanctity of life...

thank you we go thank you thank you why why why why why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to [ __ ] in the first place boy these conservatives are really something aren't they they're all in favor of the unborn they will do anything for the unborn but once you're born you're on your own pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months after that they don't want to know about you they don't want to hear from you no nothing no neonatal care no daycare no head start no school lunch no food stamps no welfare no nothing if you're pre-born you're fine if you're preschool you're [ __ ] conservatives don't give a [ __ ] about you until you reach military age then they think you are just fine just what they've been looking for conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers pro-life pro-life these people aren't pro-life they're killing doctors what kind of pro-life is that what they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it they're not pro-life you know what they are they're anti-woman simple as it gets anti-woman they don't like it they don't like women they believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state pro-life you don't see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses do you now you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies do you no that might be something christ would do and you won't see you won't see a lot of these pro-life people dousing themselves in kerosene and lighting themselves on fire you know morally committed religious people in south vietnam knew how to stage a goddamn demonstration didn't they they knew how to put on a [ __ ] protest light yourself on fire come on you moral crusaders let's see a little smoke to match that fire in your belly here's another question i have how come when it's us it's an abortion and when it's a chicken it's an omelette what are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden when did this happen that we passed chickens and goodness name six ways we're better than chickens see nobody can do it you know why because chickens are decent people you don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs do you uh you don't see a chicken strapping some guy to a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery do you when's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the [ __ ] out of his hand doesn't happen because chickens are decent people but let's get back to this abortion [ __ ] now is a fetus a human being this seems to be the central question well if a fetus is a human being how come the census doesn't count them if a fetus is a human being how come it is a miscarriage they don't have a funeral if a fetus is a human being how come people say we have two children and one on the way instead of saying we have three children people say life begins at conception i say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process continuous just keeps rolling along rolling rolling rolling along i said you know something listen you can go back further than that what about the carbon atoms human life could not exist without carbon so is it just possible that maybe we shouldn't be burning all this coal just looking for a little consistency here in these anti-abortion arguments see the really hardcore people will tell you life begins at fertilization fertilization when the sperm fertilizes the egg which is usually a few moments after the man says gee honey i was going to pull out but the phone rang and it startled me fertilization but even after the egg is fertilized it's still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins and not every egg makes it that far eighty percent of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has they wind up on sanitary napkins and yet they are fertilized eggs so basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who's had more than one period is a serial killer consistency consistency hey hey if they really want to get serious what about all the sperm that are wasted when the state executes a condemned man and one of these pro-life guys who's watching comes in his pants huh here's a guy standing over there with his jockey shorts full of little vinnies and debbies and nobody's saying a word to that guy not every ejaculation deserves a name now speaking of consistency catholics which i was until i reached the age of reason catholics and other christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals well who has less abortions than homosexuals leave these [ __ ] people alone for christ's sakes there is an entire class of people guaranteed never to have an abortion and the catholics and christians are just tossing them aside you'd think they'd make natural allies go look for consistency in religion and speaking of my friends the catholics when john cardinal o'connor of new york and some of these other cardinals and bishops have experienced their first pregnancies and their first labor pains and they've raised a couple of children on a minimum wage then i'll be glad to hear what they have to say about abortion i'm sure it'll be interesting but in the meantime what they ought to be doing is telling these priests who took a vow of chastity to keep their hands off the altar boys when jesus said suffer the little children come unto me that's not what he was talking about so you know what i tell these anti-abortion people i say hey if you think a fetus is more important than a woman try getting a fetus to wash the [ __ ] stains out of your underwear for no pay and no pension i tell them think of an abortion as term limits that's all it is biological term limits but you know the longer you listen to this abortion debate the more you hear this phrase sanctity of life you've heard that sanctity of life you believe in it personally i think it's a bunch of [ __ ] well i mean life is sacred who said so god hey if you read history you realize that god is one of the leading causes of death has been for thousands of years hindus muslims jews christians all taking turns killing each other because god told them it was a good idea the sword of god the blood of the lamb vengeance is mine millions of dead [ __ ] millions of dead [ __ ] all because they gave the wrong answer to the god question you believe in god no dead you believe in god yes you believe in my god no dead my god has a bigger dick than your god thousands of years thousands of years and all the best wars too the bloodiest most brutal wars fought all based on religious hatred which is fine with me hey anytime a bunch of holy people want to kill each other i'm a happy guy but don't be giving me all this [ __ ] about the sanctity of life i mean even if there were such a thing i don't think it's something you can blame on god now you know where the sanctity of life came from we made it up you know why because we're alive self-interest living people have a strong interest in promoting the idea that somehow life is sacred you don't see abbott and costello running around talking about this [ __ ] do you we're not hearing a whole lot from mussolini on the subject what's the latest from jfk not a goddamn thing because jfk mussolini and abbott and costello are [ __ ] dead they're [ __ ] dead and dead people give less than a [ __ ] about the sanctity of life only living people care about it so the whole thing grows out of a completely biased point of view it's a self-serving man-made [ __ ] story it's one of these things we tell ourselves so we'll feel noble life is sacred makes you feel noble but let me ask you this if everything that ever lived is dead and everything alive is gonna die where does the sacred part come in i'm having trouble with that because i mean even with this stuff we preach about the sanctity of life we don't practice it we don't practice it look at what we kill mosquitoes and flies cause they're pests lions and tigers because it's fun chickens and pigs cause we're hungry pheasants and quails cause it's fun and we're hungry and people we kill people because they're pests and it's fun and you might have noticed something else the sanctity of life doesn't seem to apply to cancer cells does it you rarely see a bumper sticker that says save the tumors or i break for advanced melanoma ah viruses mold mildew maggots fungus weeds e coli bacteria the crabs nothing's sacred about those things so at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing we get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred and we get to kill the rest pretty neat deal huh you know how we got it we made the whole [ __ ] thing up

Channel: Franco Fabiani

Views: 1,259,553

Keywords: George, Carlin, sulla, religione, l, aborto, e, la, santità, della, vita

Id: K98TQJ5ldW0

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 02 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/addictedtolols]

never forget that jimmy dore said the supreme court doesnt matter when he supported trump

[u/[deleted]]

Now all the “cool” comedians are fascists lol

Carlin would literally spit in Joes face

[u/samsedar]

If Joe love Carlin so much how can h3 be so stupid about politics? To understand Carlin you have to know way more about politics than joe does. joe likes the funny faces? I tell ya this rogan shit is fascinating.