George Carlin - Saving the Planet

see I'm not one of these people who's worried about everything you got people like this around you country's full of them now people walking around all day long every minute of the day worried about everything worried about the air worried about the water worried about the soil word about insecticides pesticides food additives carcinogens worried about radon gas worried about asbestos worried about saving endangered species let me tell you about endangered species alright saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature it's arrogant meddling it's what got us in trouble in the first place doesn't anybody understand that interfering with nature over ninety percent over way over ninety percent of all the species that have ever lived on this planet ever lived are gone they're extinct we didn't kill them all they just disappeared that's what nature does they disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day and I mean regardless of our our behavior irrespective of how we act on this planet twenty five species that were here today will be gone tomorrow let them go gracefully leave nature alone haven't we done enough was so self-important so self-important everybody's gonna save something now save the trees save the bees save the whales save those nails and the greatest arrogance of all save the planet what are these people kidding me save the planet we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet we haven't learned how to care for one another we're gonna save the planet I'm tired of Earth Day I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists these white bushwa liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths people trying to make the world safe for their Volvo's besides environmentalists don't give a about the planet they don't care about the planet not in the abstract they don't not in the abstract they don't you know what they're interested in a clean place to live their own habitat they're worried that someday in the future they might be personally inconvenienced narrow unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me besides there is nothing wrong with the planet nothing wrong with the planet the planet is fine the people are difference difference the planet is fine compared to the people the planet is doing great spending here four and a half billion years do you ever think about the arithmetic planet has been here four and a half billion years we've been here what a hundred thousand maybe two hundred thousand and we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years two hundred years versus four and a half billion and we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat that somehow we're going to put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue green ball it's just a floating around the Sun the planet has been through a lot worse than us then through all kinds of things worse than us then through earthquakes volcanoes plate tectonics continental drift solar flares sunspots magnetic storms the magnetic reversal of the poles hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors worldwide floods tidal waves worldwide fires erosion cosmic rays recurring Ice Ages and we think some plastic bags at some cans are going to make a difference the planet isn't going anywhere we are we're going away pack your folks we're going away and we won't leave much of a trace either thank God for that maybe a little styrofoam maybe little styrofoam planner we'll be here we'll be long gone just another failed mutation just another closed-end biological mistake an evolutionary cul-de-sac the planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas a surface nuisance you want to know how the planets doing ask those people at Pompeii who are frozen into position from volcanic ash how the planets doing well know if the planets all right ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble if they feel like a threat to the planet this week how about those people in Kilauea Hawaii who built their homes right next to an active volcano and then wonder why they have lava in the living room the planet will be here for a long long time after we're gone and it will heal itself it will cleanse itself course that's what it does it's a self-correcting system the air and the water will recover the earth will be renewed and if it's true the plastic is not degradable well the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm the earth plus plastic the earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic plastic came out of the earth the earth probably sees plastic is just another one of its children could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place it wanted plastic for itself didn't know how to make it meeting us could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question why are we here so the plastic is here our job is done we can be phased out now and I think that's really started already don't you I mean to be fair the planet probably sees us as a mild threat something to be dealt with and I'm sure the planet will defend itself in the manner of a large organism like a beehive or an ant colony can muster a defense I'm sure the planet we'll think of something what would you do if you were the planet trying to defend against this pesky troublesome species let's see what my viruses viruses might be good they seem vulnerable to viruses and viruses are tricky always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed perhaps this first virus could be one that that compromises the immune system of these creatures perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along and maybe it could be spread sexually making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction well that's a poetic noting and it's a start and I can dream can't I I don't worry about the little things bees trees whales snails I think we're part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order call it what you want know what I call it the big electron the big electron whoa whoa it doesn't punish it doesn't it doesn't judge at all it just is and so are we for a little while thanks for being here with me for a little while thank you here New York City take care of yourself and take care of somebody else thank you tonight

Channel: Dadniel

Views: 4,970,314

Rating: 4.835804 out of 5

Keywords: Planet, George, Carlin

Id: 7W33HRc1A6c

Length: 8min 4sec (484 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 21 2007

Reddit Comments

[u/Jarkeler]

Funny how some of the people in the crowd were getting seriously butthurt until he got to his point.

[u/auctor_ignotus]

That was great.

[u/powprodukt]

I love Carlin, but in all fairness to environmentalists "saving the planet" has always been about sustaining life for human habitation or for otherwise. If we are the ones that are going, then it would make sense to worry.

[u/ClandestineMovah]

Can you imagine having someone like Carlin as a teacher/professor growing up.

Fuuuck. He'd set scientific advancement forward 200 years.

[u/redkey42]

It is the ppl who are fucked. We won't change. Your children and their children are fucked because everyone is a selfish piece of shit living in micro communities that ignore the scores of people and their kids dying elsewhere. /humor

Audience: Wow. This guy is brilliant. We really are dumb pieces of selfish shit.