Game Grumps - Loz Link to the Past - Supercut! [Streamlined for smoother experience!]

hey i'm grump i'm not sue gruff and we're the game grumps what's happening yeah oh my god long ago baby in the beautiful kingdom of hyrule surrounded by mountains and forests legends told of an unpotent and omniscient golden power some [ __ ] happened okay we're doing it so as you can see we've been playing this a little bit can you tell which one is me and which one is aaron farts smeef and danny i am prisoner in the dungeon of the castle give it a princess voice for god's sake and my name is zelda my name is the wizard agonim has done something to the other missing girls now only ira mean control of the castle and is now trying to open the seven what oh cause it's like agony is it i think aganem oh yeah sure it's me if i'm going out for a while i'll be back by morning oh i got the lamp yeah you can light torches i always thought it looked like a little man sitting in a cage oh yeah yeah it does huh you got to go you got to go left you got to go down really no god aaron [Laughter] hey hey i always thought it would be like a secret you're not allowed in the castle baby go home and get some sleep oh [ __ ] well i'm not gonna do that my friend i'm gonna sneak around this john and i'm gonna hump this rock oh yeah i can't pick that up yet you don't have the power glove i don't yeah that is funny that they called it the power glove yeah yay look at that oh he's sleeping i'll just i'll just sneak back damn it smeef i didn't want you involved in this i told you not to leave the house i told you not to leave it yes just swipe somebody's sword with his last breath take my sword and shield and listen smeef you could do it save the princess would you just relax and let me kill for money go get money all right you get money when you open up chest and things get money get [ __ ] that's true if you're a rapper and you live the rapper lifestyle let's see what happens oh i love [Music] i need to find the basement i bet she's behind here nope oh that's good yeah it looks like a butt crack when you when you're standing right next to it it kind of looks like a like a butt yeah maybe not [Laughter] we see what we want to see this is a stretch i guess i like their little like i've noticed you like especially after you take your first swipe at them i just like the dudes with the huge swords and the dudes like the tiny little like yeah i'm gonna come and get you so i played the ever loving crap out of this as a kid and it was it came out in 92 so like i have these awesome memories of just hanging out by myself and like [ __ ] listening to rush and playing this game and yeah dude this definitely has like a euphoric feel when you play it this game this is a fantastic game you just it's like a world and you're part of it and then you go and you just do things and then that's the game yeah give it a try [Music] give it give it a good old try throw that ring this game has a lot of like kind of funny like americanisms you know boy this guy takes a lot of hits yeah he does boom the big key got that big doesn't seem like a very big hole you know what i'm saying okay i can't comment what if i was like oh my god treasure five dollars the wizard is magically controlling all the soldiers in the cast that always kind of made me feel bad that like all these soldiers i'm murdering like are like good guys that are under somebody's spell i never even when i was a kid i never even yeah never even processed that oh well i fear the worst for my father the wizard is an inhuman friend with strong magical powers shh don't go zelda stay here with me just like gently whispering andrea upstairs is [ __ ] ganon it's always with the ganon that ornamental shell should open you got it zelda you know what i never understood tell me here's what i never understood and the lights go out yes completely yes and then you have that like cone of vision in front of you in the city it's bright as day yes but then when you light a lamp the cone goes away and it gets darker generally the i think it's just a whoa let me just okay um i think it's just to indicate that like you can see slightly in the dark like you can see it's not like super pitch black where you can't see your hand in front of your face get out of here yeah yeah your wiggly snakes those ropes as they call them yeah ropes and keys not bats and snakes don't kick that is pretty funny that they put the two weird name things right next to each other yeah and they're yeah they're perfectly exactly creatures that exist everywhere it's not like snakes are copyrighted [Laughter] uh copyright god 2005. he has to pull the lever let's try this one oh yeah baby the other one brings snakes down right well it brings ropes down like a hellfire yeah ropey snakes hello rabbi it's a priest princess zounder you're safe is this your drink smee it's my doing yes it was a little more intense today when i was captive the wizard once said once i have finished with you the final one the seal of the wise men will open smee few must not let the land of higher wolf fall into the wizard's clutches if he rip for that happens before it's too late destroy the wizard before he destroys all of hyrule destroying it you can do it you can i sense that my god link is getting information cocktails left and right yeah he's like what is zelda what do i have to do what can i do oh i i sense that a mighty evil force guides the wizard's actions and augments this magical power only the only weapon potent enough to defeat the wizard is i will hide princess oh it's the [ __ ] priest saying all this oh i don't have princess don't worry seek the elder do you understand no repeat it all say it again with the exact same words like you're like you're an actor like you're brad pitt my favorite movie actor look at that got a heart so you're in hyrule congratulations thank you you're free to explore the world at your um discretion but i'd rather just go after the x on the map yeah because who wants to explore that's not fun oh the fortune teller tells you a fortune yeah he [ __ ] takes all your money and doesn't tell you [ __ ] you look like you might have an interesting destiny may i tell your fortune i'll make it cheap yeah sure sick you only have 61 rupees though you're going to spend it all you can spend all the fortune telling hocus pocus you'll find the elders for sure so that's just like now i'll take 20 rupees i hope you'll be healthy yeah oh man maybe this is where i first realized fortune telling was [ __ ] i mean he was right don't tell him i can't hurt him he's just distressed he'll be fine you can hurt him you can hurt the chickens are you kidding me i thought you could just swipe them and then like they're like then they go into like panic mode and that's it oh dude go back up there i don't want to hurt the chicken no go up there all right kill the chicken you can kill it kill it kill it just kill the chicken kill him this feels horrible i'll just kill the chicken kill him he'll die kill the [ __ ] no kill him he'll die kill the [ __ ] chicken i can't kill the chicken you can kill this oh god no oh god oh jesus oh really this happens oh it's the chicken apocalypse [ __ ] i had no idea really i've never hurt the chicken before oh my god aaron you sick [ __ ] here let me help you with your pots here so there's a dude in the bottom left of the village that knows where sahasrara salah is oh okay yeah what's up in here uh probably some rippers some repeats oh the blind man yo smee yo oh was this game from the early 90s this house used to be the hangout for oh the hideout for a gang of thieves so you can get all these in one go if you're smart enough don't put me on the spot yeah you can do it okay i'm gonna guess like this yeah you [ __ ] it up really yeah all the already yep oh you're right i did it [Laughter] all right let's try this boom and then the boom nice okay and then the no you [ __ ] up did i really yeah well you can get the one on the right i think how if you push that one to the not that one oh yeah you're right got it but oh now i see how to all right well in the future i got i could really use a bomb is this is it too early for this no good oh there we go go bomb that [ __ ] wall in that guy's basement oh you can bomb right there too i see that oh [ __ ] is that another one i think that's a piece of behind i think it's a piece of heart yeah oh my penis grew larger oh really just like your hearts yeah well some of us emote from the heart and some of us emote from the the schlong the shaft i'll leave them right a guy who's wearing a blue tunic he's like oh hey link back into here explosion oh [ __ ] i think that's another oh i think it's actually roofies is it yeah well still i'm getting rich as [ __ ] oh [ __ ] harpies yeah that's awesome that's that's going to serve me well you're going to have five hearts in no time bro yes uh have you been going through life without one of my hold anything bottles i'm like yes we've never met well step right up and make your life complete i've got one on sale for the new low low price of 100 rupees what do you say interested i'll take one goodbye see ya goodbye goodbye hey here's smith the wanted man oh thank you soldiers anyone oh not that wanted damn it oh yeah i never understood that when i was a kid oh because the castle has put out lies about you saying that you're the one who kidnapped the princess yeah that's so like that that went over my head well because i was like [ __ ] four when i played this game that's why that dude won't be your friend so uh either that house well this kid will tell you hey elder you talking about the grandpa okay but don't tell any of the bad people about this he's hiding in the palace past the castle i'll mark the spot on your map tits i just like to imagine they're at your map and they just they just have like a red sharpie in their [ __ ] bag i can't go out because i'm sick that's not the first thing i would say to someone weirdly standing over me while i sleep in a mid-run [Laughter] people say i caught this cold from the evil air that's coming down off the mountain steve but i don't believe him yeah this is my bug catching that i'll use a little better but for now i'll lend it to you he does yeah i'm like you're gonna be sick for a long time this is a very long adventure i'm about to go on don't start [ __ ] you can't finish oh i love this guy [ __ ] blacksmith that's his brother tank poor old gnome brother if my lost partner returns we can temper your sword but now i can't do anything for you whoa easy man they're [ __ ] chickens here you're gonna cross them oh chill out buddy [ __ ] chickens all up in this yeah you want to go down there and get something down in the cave what are you doing but that's just to t the locked door oh my god how did you know that because i've been playing this for the past week genius in preparation for this exact plaything you're a [ __ ] research genius you look up all this stuff all the time you're like bill nye the science guy but jewish someone tried to pay me a compliment and i i'm sure she meant well but she was like dan you're such a bright guy not in the traditional way but in like a worldly way and i'm like what the [ __ ] do you mean not in the traditional way it's like you're dumb as [ __ ] but you've seen a lot of stuff is that map in that mode that you were talking about that super nintendo has yeah mode seven mode seven it is right like this this yep such a super nintendo we look yeah it's like the it's like the world's first 3d texturing whoa craft craft craft why is there a crowd he can't get to that ocean there's there's like rock between whoa not in love with this situation block them with your shield oh so i can well then [Music] i am the greatest archer this side of the ah this way to the magic shop and the waterfall of wishing well you don't want either of those things no i don't i mean you do later but okay well you never mind is this not no this is him yeah i thought he was outside we're a dude's house i saw a statue and i thought it was him i am indeed sir it's like i didn't even i just walked up to you that'd be amazing next time someone comes up to me i'll just be like that's right i'm danny the village elder and a descendant of the seven wise men oh really smeef i'm surprised a young man like you is searching for the sword of evil's brain not just anyone can use that weapon legend say only the hero who couldn't blah blah blah blah as a test can you retrieve the pendant of courage from the east palace wait let me see where the what's up there oh it's it's right there the green one yeah cool go to the right you don't need no monkey for this one oh yeah i like the tink yeah it's it's so [ __ ] stressful hearing that tank sound is it i thought it's adorable it's just like well whenever it happens you're like no i got the tink whoa no just give me a heart there we go one thing i've learned about this game is whoops i was just about to say generally not good to go for the middle path first like you want to take care of the other stuff first and then it's just a [ __ ] black void but if you fall down there you go somewhere i think do you i don't know i'm pretty sure that when it's a black void you don't like if you can see the floor that's when you can fall no really it's both no you screwed up goddammit [Laughter] let's show them boys yeah there's different levels uh oh yeah you can't fall on this one it's the dark world those are cannon balls oh joe for the big one this was always fun too like and then like very indiana jones like get to the side oh yeah go to the choppa [Laughter] [Music] the map i always thought it looked like like dough being like needed oh yeah it kind of does because it's really like thick it looks like one of those like the the left side looks like one of those like um chocolate uh oh a ho ho not a ho ho but like what are those oh purely yes yes like the the bready cigar chocolate thing from france yes and then the other side just looks good not like a like a defect in the pureline factory like oh [ __ ] just we gotta chop off the pureline extra wrap it up i guess i hate these bouncy bastards stalfos get over here oh those are stalfos god everyone looks so different in these games now they're all what they're all nimble yeah and they all have cracked skulls yeah and they don't have swords and shields like in zelda too you know what i think those are called something else because there are stalfos like proper styles in this game really yeah like they're really big and they have swords and shields boom baby that's how you throw pots at skeletons aaron that's how you [ __ ] do it it's me if it is i should run for purple i can talk to you through walls no you're not crazy someone just looks at you like touching a wall like i understand yeah thank you sahasrara yeah punch his [ __ ] eye [Music] all right hey oh this treasure chest is long oh my god i get my rights and lefts confused wouldn't you use the word what i've told you about that right i mean you get your rights and lefts confused yeah i get them all confused when like when you only say the word right or left like it takes my brain an extra minute to figure out what you're talking about for me that's east and west that too just directions in general are tough because it always bothered me that it's like whoops japan is in the east and it's like from what yeah the world is round solid point hey so in the in between grumps dan was um undermining my authority you're talking trash [Music] oh you're precious [Laughter] so if you [ __ ] watch game grumps and suddenly we're in like the third level and it's like what the how the [ __ ] got that big key bro i can open that [ __ ] would the big key work in i don't know would it be this massive chest perhaps oh [ __ ] the ball you can shoot arrows until you run out yeah fall down those yarns oh really yeah there's furries yeah not furries but fairies yes oh sweetness [Music] if you hit them with a pot they die in one hit is that right yeah hold on we put this to the test you [ __ ] you lied to your pie you lied to me i did not lie to you you did it wrong if you shoot them yeah they die i know go with the right one first it has a bunch of rupees okay i want to make this house a home with the left the right one oh [ __ ] yeah you and your left and right yeah it's true it's it's apparently because i'm left-handed like left-handed people have more difficulty really so what should i say instead uh no keep doing it there's there's nothing we can do about that because i'm like i'm trying to oh i'll just use the word right just say that one so when you're driving i'll just give you like convoluted instructions yeah just point goat uh a tree tree turn tree turn point to the way like i can't see [Laughter] turn turn turn and then when we miss it you're like um i told you there's a lot of balls a lot of balls in here there we go throw it out there full of balls this game is excellent at like throwing interesting stuff at you at the beginning that's not too hard oh yeah you know like this is just pure fun at this point and it won't get maddeningly frustrating until much later until the dark world yeah when you're like more like whoa emotion you can only use arrows on him i see that now disperse weed people make it harder on him tangled messes yeah grab those [ __ ] arrows and shoot him can you get them both no you have to shoot in the eye oh right you are they're red oh that's not going to work out well you need to show your jets so you're jets with that cobra wall looking at you all like yeah you figured it out oh that is a cobra i thought it was an owl oh see what i mean oh looks kind of outly that's the only kind of misinterpretation you can get from retro games brah whoa whoa whoa we're fighting a boss use arrows they're really effective against them all right [ __ ] immediately dude [Music] they're super strong you should like do damage to them like separately so that this one's easier to kill well you like that like that you can [ __ ] hit him yeah baby uh dude how did you get so good at zelda's through zelda super i don't know take these boots they make you run faster the [ __ ] nikes ooh is that what he's going to give me it's a brand deal because is he going to give me the boots that let you run yeah the pegasus boots because god when you play the game and get used to using them all the time and then don't have them you're like oh so slow oh oh i am indeed shahad this is a treasure passed down by the families of the wise men i want you to have it yes so now i can get running and hold my sword out and just kill [ __ ] whale and you can run into trees and get special stuff really yeah maybe it's only in the dark just see link like in the distance bashing his head into every tray damn it you can also blow slid under that five dollars you can also blow up some bombable walls with your dash really yeah like if the wall is like crumbly enough yeah there's like two stages of crumble wall what is this it's a mine [Laughter] that's mine oh it is damn it damn it damn it wait there is actually a fairy fountain right above you really yeah on the wall you just go up through those trees oh oh all right blue pendant yeah is that where i'm going yeah definitely all right whoa [Music] excuse me for stone crab sneaky craft oh i love this guy wow he doesn't say much sparkling conversationalist pay no attention to the average middle-aged man standing by this sign leave him alone you see the octopus on the ground where there's like a little he's like oh [ __ ] look at that never ever noticed yeah boy that vulture is circle he really wants a pc yeah what are you trying to say vulture you smell you're like a dead guy jeez oh you need the [ __ ] oh i didn't get the book ah i gotta go and get the book pay me 20 rupees and i'll let you open one chest oh just one why not both i'll do it there's a heart piece in one of these right there's a lot of rupees in one of them okay i mean you're doing pulling out all the stops with this hey what's up tall yes me yes me now i'm quarreling with my younger brother that's a weird way to phrase it yeah this is like the the middle of a long conversation yeah there you go that's right i [ __ ] think you're [ __ ] oh thank god i'm starving okay we should go jesus okay oh [ __ ] okay okay 15 seconds no not that way no that is the one trick i remember yes hey sweet book up there bam goes the library like a ghost librarian shows up like what the [ __ ] the book of maduro [Music] [Laughter] eye lasers thanks boy that's a huge leap in technology towards the rest of this world yeah the [ __ ] like whoa what really what you've never seen the eye lasers no i it's i'm just talking about like that's a huge leap in technology towards the rest of this world like a hologram and like a robot man comes out of nowhere yeah boom did he zap you oh he almost zapped you i saw that he's so close to zapping you jeez man why do you always wear that eye patch like oh because i have a laser eye where's the freaking key for this thing you just what where'd you was that a big chest yes oh okay um go everywhere bro check my merp yeah left one no never mind just that one oh it's not at all any of the ones that i said it was yeah yeah yeah got it did you you didn't use your other fairy did you nope no so you're good bro all right bam [Laughter] you want to go up and then there's a key in that room i there must be and then you go to the right and yeah yeah another key this is a big key dude i got this process of elimination [ __ ] down oh [ __ ] let's see what's remember that [ __ ] you used oh it's like charging up to shoot a laser at me you you must never fail to find all the treasures in each dungeon by the way there's a laser coming at you yeah holy [ __ ] i can sense it all the way from over here whoop like you you call him and you just like talk to him at any time what if he's taking a dump or something yeah i'm taking a shower hold on call back later please puking from like a huge bender uh link can i have some privacy please oh you have to find the trail oh god whoa look at that no fear baby damn now i'm going right back no hesitation did that do anything for you damn dude that was some 360 no scope [ __ ] boom baby so now now i can pick up these stones baby oh dude i'm all strong as [ __ ] dude you're stoned this was always pretty freaky too this like scary looking thing up there yeah unless you look at the cave as his mouth in which case he's like oh [Music] oh no oh jeez don't go into my nose whiskers whoa it's not that one no it's not yes thank you i knew that off the top of my head no you don't even have to i'll deal with you later yeah i'm not into them oh [ __ ] dude you're in a room with four little wigglies whatever you're gonna do oh no oh god i needed the dollar it was worth it oh tiles yeah here we go oh yeah sure [Music] like a sound of a tile getting hit i guess you don't get anything what if you kill all these oh it's a key door i didn't even look at it oh [ __ ] boss [Music] watch out for his throwing stones you throw stones in diagonal patterns oh yeah diagonals and then when you kill two of them then he throws stones in diagonals and plus sign patterns oh crap yeah it's it's difficult and you have little health but you have many heart pieces yeah yeah you gotta watch for his plus sign pieces i see that now you got to get like [ __ ] listen to the drummer it's like a triple bass pedal yeah like a [ __ ] alien from the planet glorbox playing glory yeah you know the ones but in glow box we have yeah 12 based counters oh baby there's a blue ball coming my way and not the usual way it's coming bam i love how it falls and you can just stand in there forever with the pendant and it's like the music's still going really well i'm just going over here your trial in the desert has made you stronger god can i get a [ __ ] hello out of you please the blood is i i am in this cave indeed the blood of the hero must be in your veins all right so now you're going to death oh wait isn't there a heart piece here if i do the thing oh yes let me do that real quick yes oh you can do the fish thing oh yeah i thought you needed the dark world for that but i guess not okay let's see what's in here first yeah that one's the wrong one oops oh i thought you're gonna pull it [Laughter] whoa come with me fishy friend throw that [ __ ] in the water where am i taking him no if you if you throw him in the water he gives you like 20 bucks yeah but what the [ __ ] ever i want the real reward what do you never done this what are you talking about if you give him to the dude in village he gives you a bunch of crap what really yeah holy crap it's over there man you teaching me stuff i guess that's why oh no oh oh oh no oh oh no i threw him i threw him save the fish jesus save the fish this isn't good it's just like oh my god i can't breathe like i forgot what the pickup button is no stop stop oh thank god god all that needed was the [ __ ] benny hill music who the [ __ ] are you giving this fish to dude the magic bottle dude is this like the one thing i've never done maybe damn it they say that eating fish makes smart you have to give me this fish for the stuff okay done and then he gives you all that whoa yeah see more stuff like a heart piece or anything oh no that would have been super cool i was gonna be i was gonna say like i i feel like i've done 100 completion of this that's some sick [ __ ] fines bro thanks holmes fish all the way to the guy don't know oh don't like them don't care for them light them on fire too i think okay no oh you could kill them in a much more torturous way like the pickleman god that's so bright if you're going up the mountain will you take me with you lost my lamp yep yeah we did it oh stone squirrels stone squirrels yeah bam yay yes thank you for helping me out of this cave young man here's a magic powder that sprinkles blue wings fly out of oh hello this is awkward when you say goodbye to somebody and then you walk in the same direction towards your cars the worst like side by side you have the exact same stride do you think we hit whoa hold on a sec do you think legend of zelda is like like he's high all the time and like all the pots are just like pie i mean yeah and like this world is just like it's exciting if you give up pot you'll get money because you won't be spending a hundred oh my god oh love weed it did help me chill ah look at those beautiful cinnamon roll trees down there so high up yeah that actually is a really like good they make height feel real considering the graphic limitations there yeah yes i have something to ask you dan they're late on me what's your favorite flavor of ice cream ice cream yeah uh classic straight chocolate and i'm a rabbit yep well then you want to hang out with your with a bully who's kicking a ball around what do you want you have something to say to me silly rabbit like something perhaps is for kids don't make fun of my horn please i'm very sensitive about it yeah but now i'm a freak and i can't go back to the real world if only i had the moon pearl in any case now that i'm up here i can use the mirror yep on the spectacles spectacle rock has been in every zelda game i believe yeah yeah baby your heart level increased yeah that's what i needed don't go back now i'm up here well now you left your mirror spot behind that's okay now you'll never be able to get it again it's right there isn't there something up here i love being up here i i thought this was so cool as a kid yeah you can yeah go to the left okay beautiful thing if you bring out the book of mogul oh yeah yeah the book of oogaboo you're the master sword oh dang it all right and they can get ether and bombos and the other one i don't know what the other one's called yeah dance oh here we go with the chick oh get ready to get your [ __ ] we're going to left and right this [ __ ] yeah it's okay i've got it in my head now yeah that map bro oh that map dough it looks like dough it does um sweet nice floor yeah just go up it looks like a like a bird yeah like a bird from the top down with a magic brain jewel yeah this is the one i was thinking of where you have to like just wait it out baby it's just [ __ ] all right i mean you just want to release the beast [Music] boy i love wasting arrows damn it oh yeah i like that when it hits the wall it's like god damn it let him go and beat him normally no i wanted to it became a thing all right here we go uh oh these guys are they're flush they're very they're yeah they're embarrassed don't look at me i don't have clothes on i'm gross oh big kitty ki baby ah big key does that do anything for your sweet tits god oh my god i can't take it my [ __ ] is so just go on between my legs it's just so there oh ocarina is all right what [Laughter] it's not it's not linked to the past good but it's not right really i thought you [ __ ] hated it enough to spend months researching and executing a carefully deconstructed hatred argument i don't think any of these are vulnerable what these cracked walls oh i think you're right no this is just a shitty room this is a poorly constructed room oh god i just want to kill these guys dang it jeez louise but yeah whoa yeah you're at the boss now really yeah maybe later maybe a little bit later you have like 700 hearts yeah but i want to get the stuff first okay get the stuff uh yeah that one isn't it and it's that that one right there this one yeah from like the top of this okay wow good memory aaron yeah that makes sense it's like the only high one i got that moon pearl if you fall off the side i'm gonna next time it game grumps you oh [ __ ] so next time all right fine beat this boss wait no i can do it i can do it i'm right here i'm right if you fall off again okay next time i did have trouble with this guy the first time because stay away from his dumb goofy [ __ ] eyeball head yes yeah but it is he just stopped for a second because he was like what was i doing oh yeah jiggling too goofy his oh god his head is so big oh god oh god oh you're doing a great job thank you uh-huh i'll just stay near the staircase there we go okay watch out he speeds up no gotcha he's going faster oh geez he's really fast oh god oh yeah suck on that so so hard and so right glittery explosions got that red pendant baby superb superfluous also that supercalifragilistic expiala god damn docious okay xp take off your sunglasses xpl [ __ ] dude the uh [ __ ] roger daltrey from the who is like yeah oh diorama oh sh kill that crow don't let the thief take your rupees and such oh that's right can you kill him or do you just have to run for you can't kill him this is it oh can't be too bad seems kind of random that someone would have bothered to place fake masks right there isn't it i just know you have to go through like a couple different logs oh no oh all right so for a hundred rupees i'll let you open one chest yeah i think there's a heart piece yeah yeah please let's do it [Music] yeah the woodland creatures are all protected the master sword this when when i did this in the play through like to practice for this i like got crazy heart palpitations because i remembered this so clearly this is a huge triumph for 12 year old dan yeah while [ __ ] hemispheres by rush played in the background oh my god when our weary world was young the struggle of the ancients first began all right sorry suddenly sasha allah contacts you telepathically oh hey yeah i didn't need those triangles sorry about that smeef help the soldiers are coming to the sanctuary [Music] my god he fell off a cliff jesus do you still have your fruit i mean your mushroom he hit me inside the log yeah dude it's called [ __ ] selective axis or whatever well it sucks ass do you we already got one i know i can give it to anyone i want give it to the witch it gives you magic powder and then you can sprinkle it on the choo choose and they turn into groucho marx chuchu's yes and you can sprinkle it on the the anti-fairies as they're called and turn them into fairies anti-fairies the little skulls with the four flames around them oh that look like bubbles from zelda two you can [ __ ] do that yeah that because they're like everything in the dark world is the opposite of the light world you know so like turning sprinkling the magic powder turns them into their like light world counterpart whoa yeah that that's probably a good guess yeah and then up what you [ __ ] get rid of these [ __ ] rocks ah who needs them well i hit you with a bush so who needs them hey there you young man come back to the shop later for something good yeah something good this is something i will come back later how about nowish well you actually have to do some stuff first really yeah really i'm going in to find out nope there it is what oh yeah the [ __ ] i was tricked as a child i was like this is this is magic powder ooh with all the money i have yeah i should set one of these fairies free and get the blue and get the blue bam baby it was pretty good and all but um blue's the best fairy will kill you in a pinch oh that's true well i'll keep this one keep one blue one fairy now [ __ ] spray that jizz on that choo choo that pickle monster oh yeah that's that is why they put him here everything is here for a reason yeah this game is the best [Music] it's like well well then i feel like there's something also behind here isn't there oh yeah there's like a whole area that's where you go up to the zora place you need like a zillion dollars for it though i think you need well you have 600 i'm pretty sure you need 600. oh the flippers yeah yeah i need 500. oh okay the waterfall of wishing is just around the corner cool do it sweet get some [ __ ] [ __ ] some [ __ ] upgraded uh sometimes the things we're looking for are just around the corner [Music] definitely undergone the most like changes from game to game blows my ass open i'm sorry it blows my ass open that is what i thought you said nice [ __ ] [Music] i love the way one of his eyes is down and one is up like the classic muppet crazy eyes what do you want little man do you have something to ask me yeah what's wrong with your face i want the flippers yeah i just i don't know how i knew about the flippers but i want them good i like buying uh making purchases from clearly insane salesmen buenos tardes seniors encina rita's what the [ __ ] is this bueno stardust this means [Laughter] [Music] so you can go on the roof yeah how do i get there uh go to the right yeah so i'm looking for the wizard the wizard that's right imprisoned zelda yeah go to the right no no oh yeah go up the stairs okay and then go down okay not down the stairs but down that path right down meaning forward horribly confusing god damn it this perspective i remember like looking at this as a kid and i was like [ __ ] i'll never get in there oh like you never saw it until you had the master sword yeah just randomly how the heck could i ever jesus it's an impenetrable fourth oh you can just shoot him from a distance dude really yeah you have your lips oh that's right boy it's a little weaker but yeah you're safe they really [ __ ] made the the healthy sword shot a lot [ __ ] stronger in this game hey oh yeah brod honestly this game doesn't really get hard for another a couple of rounds that's true like once you hit dark world then [ __ ] gets real as they say yeah oh my god it gets super hard [ __ ] the last like two or three dungeons or just like yeah that's the real estate what [ __ ] [ __ ] ever it's go time i've been waiting for you i was hoping i could make zelda vanish in front of your eyes behold the last moment of princesses whoa seizure warning [Laughter] a couple seconds ago that was a seizure warning yeah merry christmas your girlfriend's dead with this the seal of the seven wise men is at last broken delicious it is now only a matter of time before evil power covers this land after all the legendary hero with a capital h cannot defeat us the tribe of evil when we are armed with the power of gold now i must go where where where could he be oh you found my secret hideout did you who wants a piece of this actually no not that's the bad one all right no all right we're off to kind of a bad start god damn it not that one start away from him you big dude i'm trying uh give me the [ __ ] chance yeah i gotta i'll just hang over here for a second just be over here here i am agony there we go god damn it here comes my balls shooting out balls yeah get your distance bro i just want to [ __ ] make sure when i hit it back to him like i don't miss him by like you know what i'm i'm getting really really cheesed off yeah he's gonna see lightning oh wait what what the hell okay he's gonna shoot lightning [Laughter] let's be over here boy this drummer is working overtime well met like the true hero you are but i am not ready to admit defeat yet i will draw you into the dark world what the [ __ ] it's me for his eye shall hash and rationa's ash indeed i'm communicating to you across the void through telepathy the place where you now stand was the golden land but even power turned it into the dark world save the princesses whoops there's the heart piece oh nice you know about that little secret yeah dude god damn it did you see my [ __ ] fart play through bart's playthrough i had nearly every heart it's pretty sweet there's a couple i was missing every every heart for fart wait there's another one around here isn't there like right off the bat dude i don't [ __ ] aaron did you know about this one [ __ ] yeah i knew about it i know about everything is there another one nearby i don't [ __ ] know why you're badgering me okay these ones you can run into and then [ __ ] comes out of them really yeah i'm pretty sure yeah there you go see rupee came out really yeah on the other side really yeah you can do another one of these some of them give you apples and [ __ ] apples yeah what do apples do they give you food i don't know this is the [ __ ] give you vitamin c or some [ __ ] i'm [ __ ] deeply lost all right all right okay keep going go go down uh left nope up left yeah down okay right uh-huh oh damn it it's kiki oh i'm kicking the monkey cookie i love rubies more than anything do you know why they call me cheeky uh can you spare me no let's just swing your sword and kill him can you spare me 10 rupees kiki what will you do give him 10 rupees give him 10 rupees never give him anything ever give yeah you see you see him like dying on the side of the road and he's just like please sir and you're like i swore a vow what the [ __ ] is he gonna do with 10 rupees i don't know it's a [ __ ] monkey maybe i could stop the ringing in my ears god just give me a heart please that's like the [ __ ] no don't dog come on fairy no whoa that's a strange way to spell fairy doing it i can't listen to that what yeah i can't listen oh damn it come on get up there kiki dude they're running like a [ __ ] monkey [ __ ] scam here you see there's a monkey temple that's a primate racket right there you can see the [ __ ] gorilla statues man yeah you get inside and it's like kiki kiki uh do you know where the big key is i do give me your bank numbers i'm a nigerian prince give me your routing number electronic not not paper not to say that people from nigeria are like monkeys jesus christ i can see the [ __ ] racism patrol like god just looking to start [ __ ] one of the oh i can show you the thing this is what i was telling you about so this is the anti-fairy so you sprinkle the magic powder and damn it damn it boom becomes a real fairy and i caught that [ __ ] now my bottle's full again [ __ ] yeah i'll keep it in a bottle my prisoner forever oh my freaking those are two fairies just right there for you yep anytime i don't know if i want to waste 1 87th of my magic oh damn it 186. yeah is that actually 187 no smeef can you hear me it's me oh that's pretty i'm locked in turtle rock on the top of death mountain what the [ __ ] was the point of that this is zelda still here jesus titty [ __ ] christ where are you [Laughter] please i mean nothing's changed just you know yeah keep going i guess as you were but faster towards saving me [ __ ] if you blow up that ground you fall into a secret area a good secret area yeah it's a good one really are you sure that's a secret area yeah it's an awful lot like a hole no you can do it all right i'll get oh these [ __ ] things if i'm wrong then i'm sorry in advance if i'm wrong then you know [ __ ] you well it's just it's you know it's been a while and secret boy that would shatter an ankle yeah but he's he's long the hero tim too you lonk oh god thank you oh man my name's tim hi jeez it's the master key let's do it wait you can fall down there and there's another secret yay by the way he falls like [ __ ] parallel to the ground really doesn't look like he's about to land on his feet yeah and everything and like spin gently oh not a huge fan of this situation they just fly away after a while you need a dash run now go dash run do it all right now you're [ __ ] no i'm back here for a hot second yeah you should dash run right now you should go doesn't matter if the little guy's in your way blue areas getting blue rupees yeah okay they're cool you did it now you got to throw a bomb at a thing you gotta drop down there first you're on the second floor uh yeah let me see if i can chuck a bomb at him you can it's not gonna do much nope all right see oh holy crap whoa we're gonna be at this for a little while everybody you gotta throw a bomb over to the bottom over to here yeah you gotta throw a bomb over there how's that did i do it yeah you did a great job all right i'll plant another one [Laughter] yeah whatever yeah yeah i could have done with that with anything yeah but there's a reason that you need the bomb um anyway why are you going that way i don't know i just you just opened up the [ __ ] way to go oh dude to the right haha so it is these things give me such odds for some reason oh yeah well it's cause they [ __ ] they have black eyes yeah like creepy mouse faces and before you know like how to get the red one he shoots [ __ ] fiery oh yeah badness at you uh and i can [ __ ] hit these whack-a-moles which is a really goofy idea now that i think about it they brought him back for the sequel yay oh you did it buddy thank you aaron yeah i keep that hammer out because you got to fight [ __ ] shellface oh is it go time oh he looks so nude when you take it's like when you take the collar off a dog that you know really well you're like oh my god you're a [ __ ] animal that's so true it's the weirdest isn't it they really do look like naked and you're like oh this is dirty this is like when donald duck takes off his [ __ ] little you can just do this thing you can just hit with your sword dude oh can i yeah uh oh the ferry i'll just bring it yeah he'll save you she'll save you depending if it's a dude [Music] oh you have the master sword now you can get all like bombos yeah baby one down six to go i always forget the third one holy crap that's a lot that's then horrible so many if you run into this tree you get stuff [Music] i hate your hands i mean like really you're just eyes oh man i want to fart i mean truly nothing's stopping you especially me because god knows i've tried to stop you and you've let it rip anyways no but i want to be courteous that is incredibly nice of you this temple is where it starts to get a little hard right but it's not like super hard all right that's right it's [ __ ] right dude you got access to two [ __ ] secret skulls god damn it well done it's [ __ ] well done this [ __ ] game [ __ ] did it did it did i want to hit that again you go down there and you kill some dudes right yeah and now i got the big key you don't i do not have the big key you get it aaron yeah forgot about that yeah i'm glad i'm here to remind you of the important things gotta be honest slipped my mind i didn't have the big gay oh sweet all right this room has a bunch of skeletons and it also has like a fire worm and you gotta watch out for the jelly guy because he's electric so every so often boy this is uh it's like having nintendo power right now i'm playing with power air and power i fell asleep between episodes and i forgot what we're doing here though you're pushing the rocks oh did it [Music] i think you need to go up in the blue area that does look enticingly impossible to get to do i have the big key no i don't that's what i'm trying to get you're working on it okay all you had to do was believe it and also you you totally owed me like like a hundred dollars no way yeah dick move on my part yeah man you still haven't paid it back about that about those hundred dollars yeah i'm gonna need an extension on that loan uh the thing is you promised it to me today and you said and you you told me that if you needed an extension that just beat the [ __ ] out yeah just to say no and and then raise it to 200 that's what you told me as a as a forgetfulness penalty yeah so 200 i'll take a check she's like oh gross your tiny penis and i'm like no uh first of all the correct term is micro penis and i'll thank you to refer to it as such [Laughter] boing this is the hook shot the game knows it yeah it extends and contracts and you got to go up yeah see that now you got to go that only way you haven't gone do i thank you go left go left there's like literally like a arrow on the screen this is like left i do walk throughs and like it's just a video of you like pointing and be like [Laughter] oh my god can we do that yeah absolutely oh my god that's such a good idea world's most unhelpful it's walkthrough a [ __ ] it's like a recording of the game and then you green screen yourself going like this with why hasn't that been done it probably has been no way you're getting close dude you're getting all the way close to that [ __ ] boss in fact you're there already is that right yeah you're [ __ ] right here dude can i fight him yeah of course you can if you want i guess so i mean there's not anything there's a lot of stress involved i know i'll bring it now you can't attack people in the water you can only have a little santa beard oh i'm i'm learning that real quick rule with the quickness oh [ __ ] yup oh god oh okay coco puffs oh i remember this cocoa puffs yeah you got to get the fish puffs away from you he's tough boy this guy is really not that hard once you know what the deal lasts two men on earth i don't know no but then he starts jumping on you and [ __ ] does it oh yeah we only got to hit him once and hit him with jelly yep [Music] nice nice land again hello this bro is going to get brought up oh god fo show bro okay this is it okay i'm gonna watch a bro show oh [ __ ] just freaking die please yeah the triforce will grant away as long as that person lives oh wait was he trying to say is it going to kill me jeez all right as long as you don't experience what's known as hand melt [Laughter] don't worry only 100 of the people who have touched the triforce have experienced i'm sure you're different yeah yeah i'm sure you will not experience sausage face i have not been paying attention to anything she's saying is the third one the desert world the desert one no which one's the third one the third one is oh it's the the blind man's hideout no that's four oh oh three is the oh it's the oh go left okay i'm gonna do it all right say hi to your tree friend oh the yeah that's right i remember this the saddest part of this whole game hello after wandering into the world i turned into this shape wall i enjoyed playing the flute in the original world i buried my flute there with some flower seeds you try to find it for me no way shut up antelope good luck sweet if you go to the light world and dig ups you know yeah and it's hanging out with some flowers yeah that's him is that him or yeah it's him and he plays so hard he [ __ ] gets transported into the dark world is that what happened yeah yeah it's like what the [ __ ] it's very weird all right he buried it with some flour even though he literally just disappeared playing it he it he burned it with something he goes up here somewhere there it is got it nice i just remembered it go down look the arrow says yes go right [Music] talk to your tree friend who's my tree friend go to the left you passed him see him he's a little trifle oh yeah you gotta shift the eyes just shoot bash into him he just shoots bombs at me no if you talk to him now he won't shoot bombs at you really yeah he's got a little wiggly mouth now so he's ready to talk all right he's had to get that bomb out of his system wow i've seen a normal person in a few hundred years good thing i [ __ ] tried to kill you let me talk to you for a while i once lived in the lost woods until the day i wandered into a magic transporter cool wait no there's another tree friend down there oh he's cool too he gives you presents quit bothering me watch where you're going when you dash around he seems like he seems like a douche whatever he's cool he's a tree man wouldn't you be a douche if you were a tree man i don't know all right go to the left okay there's a lot to do in this area for some reason damn it all right go into that circle of flowers oh yeah and then magic murder yeah you want some bushes [ __ ] wants some bushes oh my god those bushes are [ __ ] fatal i know it sends them like 20 feet in the air jesus that's like worse than a bomb nice look at this is there anybody that tells you to do this i don't know i must have figured it out somehow when i was a kid yeah cause i figured out too yeah they must say it somewhere but i just remember hello bird friend i just heard it from somebody yeah look at him go see you later no he'll take you anywhere evil chickens oh whoops sorry you know the evil chickens come and attack you if you over yeah i'd really rather not it was disturbing enough when it was regular chicken oh you don't want the gross skeleton death chicken he's never gonna stop fine she just wants your honey uh he just wants to just spread his polleny butt all over your face well he's gonna have to take a number if you fall in those pits you go into the temple really yeah i think i think it starts over here well it starts wherever you want to right i'm trying to remember because this one has a lot of unnecessary like welcome to my temple hall my butt is underground i will poop you out in the soil oh boy these things are impossible to kill yeah they really take a lot of damage unless you have the fire staff which kills them one hit whoa [ __ ] wall master you're such a douche does that curtain sway let's see oh oh oh oh i just wanted to see what's over here oh this [ __ ] temple is so confusing yeah this temple really is weird i don't know what to do i don't remember me neither it's hard let's see what happens you gotta pull that guy under the button yep while avoiding captain [ __ ] boom crunchy douche let me grab the statue okay damn it damn it damn it damn it whoa hey give those gibdos what's for you're so dumb hey there's the big key being a rabbit's fun holy crap really yeah that's oh yeah all right now i can't bomb the [ __ ] okay oh you can bomb that wall [Music] don't don't don't yeah i gotcha nice nice there we go uh where's the enemy any idea uh go up there up here no thank you aaron all right i have an idea your only problem as far as i'm concerned is that you too helpful correct wait oh yeah no that's not the way to go yeah i think i have to go over to the right there you go fall down fall down yeah into that hole full are you super sure yeah takes you into the dungeon right you are now you're in a special dungeon place you want to just pull out your hot heat rod because that [ __ ] will kill those gibdos in like two secs throw that [ __ ] and then [ __ ] hit that [ __ ] oh yeah to make him taste the [ __ ] linens on his oh no oh no you walked right into it i didn't know he was coming down oh all right man [ __ ] it you got a wall mask [ __ ] this is going all wrong now you got a fairy right okay you know you can catch a bee yeah what good does that do well he attacks enemies for you does he really yeah he's cool all right he's a little b friend not that one oh [ __ ] yeah mr b oh oh you killed the bee dude dang it no if you okay really should i keep going that way i don't know dan i don't know i'm scared nothing i gotta use the god damn kid pressing a button oh hopefully there's another key up here i think so nope this is we've been here before oh this is this is we've been here before land yeah this this is a pickle you get your jelly with the tentacles taking lots of unnecessary damage it looks like when a potato starts growing roots that it does i think you think it's not god damn it i think it's not all right get it get it get get get out of here get out the door all right get everybody walk the dinosaur open the door look you're in a new area really yeah how did that never happen before because you never went out that door i don't think is it just up here god damn it people who know this game very well are going to be like well you're certainly a jackass just going to flame that guy in the mouth it's like my beautiful face i hate you no man you taste like tiny green elf man yeah oh geez no you're fine it's easy it's fine oh yeah this isn't as confusing as you think it's just where yeah it's everywhere where they're not correct yeah couldn't agree more yeah it's not snot okay damn it yo just make sure you don't get cuted by these nice nice work i gotta go through the whole thing i know but i was hoping it would be a heart well arrows are good too thank you yeah oh you want the flame rod so hard right now mr bam bam everyone's on fire oh even you wall master why are my [ __ ] things going through these guys oh you're out of magic now yes i got a scotofer one quarter two prizes all right maybe i'll just [ __ ] oh yeah you're blocked off from over there oh yeah you gotta go in from that door oh i know it's straight up and i died somehow this board is a nightmare okay boom nicely done you [ __ ] did it you got through the level congratulations oh okay oh it's mothman oh he's super weak to the fire really yeah just fire rod pretty much okay oh wow oh yeah oh oh oh no there's a lot happening right now and i'm sure i'm out of fire well this is a this is a pretty little pickle happy day [Music] [Laughter] god this [ __ ] enemy whatever whatever i'm short on magic power how about my regular ass sword which is so [ __ ] rad yeah it's phil it's imbued with power that's why it's called the master sword it's good boy these yeah dude holy [ __ ] smith because of you i can escape from the clutches of the evil monsters thank you okay three crystals down baby did it now you can go to the blind man's temple which is like the easiest [ __ ] is it really it's so simple and you get the [ __ ] next glove there oh yeah which is very helpful for me is that oh that's in the yeah it's ripple village fresh batch of ass jozu um all right oh yeah i remember this and i just like and then a bam and then you're good and then yeah and then we're playing feud in round four oh god this [ __ ] nightmare it's so confusing you always turn into a bunny you always do this that's what daddy likes god this [ __ ] board is giving me anxiety why would you why would you why would i do that yeah they were all they were all safely tucked away every time you see one of those you gotta you gotta hit it right yeah yeah see now look at look at all these things yeah with the button inside oh yeah but you can't talk to the hospital that's not gonna do anything all right see you later this is dead snakes dead snakes watch out for the frogman these things are cute they wiggle all about this is the final room yeah wow this temple is really small yeah there's not much to this one you're basically done oh you need the power glove yeah i do [Music] all right explode that floor like you ain't got no care in the world and then the landlord will get all upset uh that security deposit isn't coming back you just lost yourself 250 dollars my friend ooh but i do like the natural light wait i think if you blow up that floor and fall down you go to a secret area really i'm never wrong okay didn't you i was wrong nothing even happened i was you want to get down there bro yeah i'd say so oh can you oh no never mind no it's good it's good don't worry about it okay you want to go downstairs trust me right now yeah it's where the power glove is oh don't go that door go downstairs okay trust me on this one you got it look at that you can you can lift up that block but the the big darker blocks you cannot lift those yet right you need the power of the ultra glove i do oh there's definitely a key in here do you think so she looks like a whole lot of [ __ ] to me god this looks like the most unhelpful room i've ever been in one of these guys has a key i swear i swear it on my mother's guys have never had keys on them oh think again [ __ ] oh boy oh boy what the [ __ ] is the point of that room just to piss you off yeah i believe that is the point oh my god oh there's another key oh but it's fine because well i guess everyone's dead oh what the what no this is where you find the girl oh oh oh maybe she has a key with her oh no with the rabbit okay cool there's a key in that chest yes you should get it before you talk to her cool just leave her oh thank you very much you saved my life please take me outside okay you got it oh she's not that she's oh she's a bad guy no she's not yeah she is she seems nice no she's a bad guy she seems friendly no you don't understand i think she's great no trust me aaron i finally met a girl in this game let me be okay whack some moles or just one nice golden [ __ ] titan matt yes that's what i'm talking about that's what they were going to release for the super window whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa they were going to release the titan for the super nintendo but then they couldn't get the rights the titan yeah it's the power glove and then the titan mitt oh fair enough titan mitt was going to be just as good as the power glove i'm sure if not worse hey do you like it we're outside now look at the sun oh crap oh god too bright too bright man oh i've got wiggly fingers i've got wiggly fingers and wiggly face oh no my face is flying around the ground oh i can't see a thing oh this is the worst man i'm not worse i'm a blind man and i'm spinning around he's fine he's fine oh yeah wow he is not that hard no this temple is not that hard it was just like killing a normal girl [Music] look my crystal is shining i hope there's a girl in there with a long-winded story oh going to swamp town oh it's the ice world no the swamp town is the bottom left ah you can't get there yet you don't have um oh actually you do oh oh see this now this has happened what the [ __ ] is that dick this is happening are you [ __ ] having a bump in a mosh pit with this guy i'm bumping him out of here all right and no more bumping the bumping is over you can't kill him no you can't kill him oh my god oh look what i can lift oh [ __ ] oh yeah that's right i know what this part is yeah you do he's right around here somewhere this is where you bring him in the light world yes he is down yeah yeah he's south of the city that's right hey hey sorry i'm a completionist all right ribbit ribbit your body did not change you are not just an ordinary guy are you no frog i used to live in kakriko town i wonder what my partner is doing there without me rebit i have a quest a request of you please take me to my partner rebit um so oh sorry chicken all right do not forgive you there he is and he's a little dwarfy dude oh his little gnome friend and then you [ __ ] bring him back to his dwarfy bud reunite oh happy days are here again drop by here anytime at that time we will temper your sword perfectly temper my sword please i just dropped by i love the conversation wait wait i thought you had to wait for like a long time nope just gotta go off screen really oh yeah they're like we've been working on this for days oh my god yeah holy crap my sword is stronger i can feel the sheer power flowing through my body wow that's [ __ ] right baby dude you got a [ __ ] creamsicle sword yeah thanks for noticing i had a baby [Music] tough i lost it oh sorry to hear that in the forest boosh and there's the mad batter yeah now yeah this is all you hey blast you for waking me from my deep dark sleep i mean thanks a lot sir oh yeah this dude's crazy that's right but now i will get my revenge on you get ready for it okay so what he actually did was make everything that i do cost less yeah with magic um so that's great that's right as hell that's super helpful so are you doing the the chest the chesticles at first you're gonna beat them i will once i beat down these shafts and chickens [ __ ] yeah did you know oh yeah oh that one i remember how did you know you're a wizard you're a memory wizard [Laughter] well that one was easy when i was a kid because like there's nothing you want to do more than be like yeah yeah there's something crazy satisfying about these dark uh dark world poses oh yeah they're just little nipples yeah they well okay i was gonna say pancakes but you know whatever but now these guys houses have a weird treasure chest the key is locked inside the chest you can never open it just take it with you all right and now you go through the whole game with the chest behind you yeah until you figure out what the hell to do with it but we know oh do we do we now oh [Music] you can't get down there unless you light world okay yeah so i might as well just light world it now right can this thing um withstand forces up to 100 g forces i've asked myself the same question dan no i was gonna nope i was gonna ask if it can follow me how about off ledges oh yeah all right that's a jumpy box that's that's helpful to know so don't dash i will not dash otherwise i will lose whatever sweet treasure sweet treasures this case holds as a youngin i always thought it sort of had like a soul of its own but like as an adult i'm like oh there's probably like an invisible string did you because you really take fake things like sort of at face value crap like it's just following you i'll open the chest fire really keep it a secret from everyone else it's a secret to everyone he just says i'll open a chest for you like not this one yeah i'll open a chest for you whenever you bring me one you can drag that one around the world with you but i'm telling everyone tell it to everyone yeah that's the third bottle cool okay there's actually a fourth bottle yeah it's under the bridge oh well all right then you can get it right now if you want can i yeah neat so i have um one bottle empty half my life i feel prepared cool let's [ __ ] rock this ice cast this is actually a pretty hard temple you want it's good that you got the magic thing because the fire rod is like required for this time oh yeah yeah yeah um i would actually just keep it out okay cool because i don't think that there's really much else you need in this temple um get ready to get slippy slidey though that motherfucker's gonna jump out of you schmief the magic flames will protect you inside this icy dungeon oh well thanks maybe scary spooky oh whoa whoa not cool i forgot about it oh we gotta ice rod him gotta ice rod him boy that makes it way easier that's oh th this is good for [Music] this this tool is good for this action yeah i'm gonna use this tool for destroying the jellyfish i can't wait it's gonna be delightful this is the first dungeon i remember as a kid just being like man [ __ ] this it's really confusing it is confusing you i i remember getting lost here on the earlier playthrough but like it um as you're playing it for the fro boy god these i i don't like these things especially when you see him from the front like coming they're very strong they look like i don't know like their faces are sort of kind of like like get away from me you know like absolutely dude you should go left again oh check this out you missed it nope i missed it i'm fine i'm gonna die i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna die you don't even have a fairy you're gonna die i do you're so close to dying first of all check this out oh you know what i'm you know what i'm about to do what oh dude you're gonna turn that [ __ ] into a fairy goddamn right cause he's an auntie fairy oh man is that what they're called that's what they're called i'm gonna look this up okay i'm gonna look it up on my on my smartphone nope i [ __ ] threw it too close and i swallowed the fairy um what was i looking up oh anti-fairy yeah and i gotta spell it like [ __ ] weird f-a-e-r-i yeah anti-fairy in zelda pedia wow that just blow your [ __ ] stupid mind apart i had no idea that's what it was called i know how crazy is that and it's just a skull surrounded by some [ __ ] weird-ass diamonds i know i don't know my life i don't like it no well i just i don't know i just figured they'd be called like google smash or something you know like sure that's actually the name of a piggledy figgle a new app appears in dungeons they float in mid-air they won't hurt you but if you touch them you won't be able to use your sword for a while what that's what the anti-fairies do apparently in some of the games huh usually it's like health and magic pretty sure they hurt you here oh there's there you silly billy uh bombs are pretty effective that's right oh yeah that's right i gotta knock him down and then blow his ass up [Music] i love these little guys i don't know why i've always loved them they're these little skittery things [Music] [Laughter] also because they're like really effective at walking like because the ground is moving but they're walking straight up oh they're good i'll give them their full credit isn't there one over here uh i think so oh yeah you got yeah you're right yeah you sneaky people you're totally [ __ ] right yo this is where it goes but you don't have the big keys i sure don't well see ya [ __ ] up you wasted it you're never going to be able to bomb that floor again so cruel geez there's so many levels to this place i know it sucks it's the worst i hate it i hate this temple it's the first temple i hate oh damn yeah you should explore some more yeah i'll get it on the way back explode some mo if you kill the joe you make some more cause triple t's up in this [ __ ] [Laughter] oh yeah i don't know whoa okay oh god oh god no oh god that's what have i done i'm so sorry thank you aaron i i didn't mean i'm sorry oh i [ __ ] up oh geez i didn't know i'm sorry okay here's all right you are on my list mister dude i don't it's that's why this temple is infuriating you're on my mister mister list you had the [ __ ] right there's a funny comedian that was like i met mr mister one time and i was like hey mr mister and they're like that's mr mr mr no go left go left go left no i'm going to see what's on the right side no don't i'm going to no no there's nothing on the right side all right but now you're [ __ ] well yeah you can just wait for it to open again yeah you're [ __ ] except you're not except i am yeah you just have to i was trying to protect you damn no it's okay i had to know okay tell me where exactly let's go left okay you're skilled thank you aaron um and then vomited left oh i'm blue baby yeah yeah that's that i love i love it though i got it maybe it's because the hat doesn't change color the the changing from like green to blue to red in this game does not feel as like intense as it did with the first zelda game oh this is the this is the this is the this is the boss no this is you have to like make a brick fall down over a hole go to that door on the right it's just a button it's just a button pay no attention to it even though buttons are responsible for everything important good now no don't no no no wait where am i going down down no no no what does down mean aaron down means down the direction down i didn't say fall it's okay you're good well look i found a fairy party all right you want to push one of those blocks and then fall down okay um um um oh [ __ ] uh do i have to push a specific one yeah i guess the small the one on the lower end oh [ __ ] oh you know what you have to do you gotta go all the way around that's why this [ __ ] temple sucks so yeah you got to go right and then like get back up and then come in from the left i am one salty sally right now yeah um it's cool yeah okay how do you oh [ __ ] no i'm just kidding how do you remember this because it's [ __ ] skills yo there you go oh you know skills come on nothing like it fall you do me oh yes now that makes sense you can eat dicks boom all right bloom [Music] yep that's it here at the end whoa before you do end whoa whoa didn't like that tricked you god that's like when you lift a big rock and there's just like a [ __ ] wonderland of like gross bugs underneath and you're like whoa like all different species and sizes and shapes i have ruined an ecosystem sorry fellas oh wow first hold on you can't let him live okay and we're good is it go time is it boss time it's totally go time oh yeah fire wands yeah oops that that would use the lantern i think that'd be the stupid way to do it okay more fire yeah if you use the fire he's weak against it so but i don't think you can kill him with it you don't have magic that's okay unless you have a bottle of magic which you don't so i don't even know why i mentioned it there are there bottles of magic yeah really yeah there's the magic bottle and there's like the blue bottle that does both oh yeah what color is magic green well i'll be damned well as we all know red and green make blue so yeah i think we all learned that in uh math class that was the easiest boss in the world [Applause] oh you're a magic man love catching that crystal from the ceiling yeah with the sharp pointy end facing straight down yeah like [ __ ] are you ready to hear me give a variation on what you've already heard like six times remember the [ __ ] you did in the first game where you went on a bunch of things and then you got the pieces and then you killed ganon yeah that again no don't no no don't let it stop go to eight yeah why no oh god what's that um yeah yeah you're in the right place really yes yes i know it seems weird but what am i doing here i thought i had to go to the other thing jam who cares man i'm getting you some [ __ ] extra [ __ ] all right give me extra [ __ ] please you need to chill the [ __ ] out for one sec just at least one sec you got it oh jesus my cup run is over too many secrets just like flicking arriving on the floor oh all right you got the ice rod yeah it's chill magic but watch your magic meter that's right brad hey it's a secret to everyone sorry it's a thief to everyone [Music] by defeating enemies it's the secret of my success wow [Laughter] and what a success you've achieved my friend look at all this [Laughter] and here you are you literally live under a rock by yourself okay um uh so you bird again bird okay yeah bird bird birdie no go to five okay damn you know all the spots yeah dude uh just go up and around up here yeah you want to go under the bridge oh right that's where the fourth bottle is that's right yeah there's a homeless dude right yes and he's like sees like a lounge and around and he's like he's just [ __ ] sleeping and he like holds up his hand and he's like bottle that's right don't go up there though just go left [ __ ] i remember being amazed by this it's like i want to be a transient living under a bridge [Music] [Laughter] how do i know you yeah you seem to be in a heap of trouble buddy you're just standing there yeah actually i came here for my 20 bucks yeah yeah piece of [ __ ] call your bird i'm going to get you all three medallions in this episode oh my god really yeah all three of them here we go [Music] this bird's like [ __ ] you gotta be quicker than that [ __ ] does he just not come after three all right he's just like you know what [ __ ] you he like keeps like going up into the sky and circling around like oh go to five okay i am so [ __ ] done okay all right all right all right so done here we go this is my song i'm singing it we're playing zelda and winging it i'm feeling good all right grab that [ __ ] throw it in that [ __ ] circle oh he gets pissed hey you [ __ ] prick i'll give this to you if you go away oh sweet you need that actually yeah that's wonderful you're good um all right so that's cool that's quake that's uh medallion number one okay sweet um now what so go ahead and like worldwide world yeah will my boomerang come back to me if i oh well let's just hope um yeah and then fly to near the desert okay warp when you're in this area that's right i remember this wow oh yeah this is where the tablet is bring out the [ __ ] book baby okay bust out that book boy that book really just sits in your inventory with the exception of these moments it's just like really heavy too like it's in your bag and it's just kind of like i guess i have to keep is there a kindle version it's like the time i [ __ ] was reading [ __ ] game of thrones book five but i only had the hard cover so i [ __ ] destroyed my spine carrying it everywhere all right and the third one uh you want to fly to death mountain look at birds like [Music] i wouldn't come if i had good anyway oh that's lame that's lame you can actually like glitch a lot of this [ __ ] out with the mirror really yeah you can do some like crazy dank glitches some day crazy dang blooded glitches bro i mean this is the thing i want right yes okay [Music] the magic of the ether [Music] yeah thank you yeah so you're right as [ __ ] now yeah we should [ __ ] do these things to just show the audience right yeah sure okay so bombos [Music] oh yeah that's gonna kill a lot of people a lot of people are gonna die yeah so that that'll kill things on the screen here's the ether ether will freeze everything on the screen okay and uh quake quake will i think it'll like turn enemies into something it'll turn them into slimes no [ __ ] and uh and then you could just go around whooping ass on on this line yeah and also if there's anything that's like breakable via like pegasus boots or bombs it'll uh it'll also clear those up sweet all right and then just temples in here so you'll find it yeah it's the thing that looks like a giant gross face yeah i'm pretty much didn't even see it shoot [ __ ] oh wow that yeah is fine everything's good oh god oh man welcome to my tall uh go i don't [ __ ] know this this is these last two temples and look at these little sluggy guys i like them i like them too and to a greater extent the uh oh that's right they lay bombs whoa they sure do um these last three temples are just like [ __ ] nightmares outrageous all right let's do it you just have to like scan the environment and like uh okay i guess oh god flip-flop okay i've got to do something this is a perfect example of that yeah there you go if there's somebody but like everything about subways is like infuriating really yeah it's like the people in front of you take too long and like there's no drive through and like it's it's just all i don't know i'm over exaggerating obviously but subways like the land of inconveniences yeah it's i mean because it's like i have to be okay and they're like what do you want and i'm like uh sweet onion chicken teriyaki foot long on flatbread and then they're like what bread and flatbread and they're like oh okay and then they they [ __ ] take and they're like did you say foot long yes i said foot long yeah and like you want cheese you already have so many like bad experiences with the place that like it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy like the second you walk in they're like hi how can i help you and you're like oh with this [ __ ] it's like you want cheese it's like yeah can i get um swiss cheese and they're like what kind and it's like [ __ ] yeah you know the kind i just said ugh and they're like toasted and it's like of course tote you can't have the flat bread and not toast it it's it's like spongy gross starchy ass [ __ ] bread it's made to be toasted wow of course i want it toasted and then they [ __ ] toast it and then they start helping the people behind you and then it sits in the toaster for like 20 seconds longer than it's supposed to whoa and you're like i just want lunch you are they [ __ ] take it out and it's like another person and then you have to [ __ ] get a read on their personality it's like god damn it and they're like what do you want and i'm like uh spinach and then they just [ __ ] destroy it with spinach just like an avalanche of spinach and you're like i want like five other things you can't just fill it up with spinach and think that's all it's gonna be wow wow and then you [ __ ] it and then you're like onion and they're like okay and they put like two onions on it it's like more onion please [Laughter] and then when you like get some weird combination like [ __ ] can i get mayonnaise and also sweet onion sauce they finally they like throw up their eyeball uh eyebrows a little bit like whoa and you're like don't [ __ ] judge me i'll eat what i want i can make my own sandwich don't [ __ ] shoot me oh no it's not blocked anymore oh look at you so [ __ ] clever just check the map baby i mean i don't even know what i need to do anymore well where did you come from let's go back i hadn't been here before well that's because what was to the left nothing really yeah you sure like here yeah that's where i came from no it's not you came from the bottom i definitely just yeah oh big key yeah yeah gotcha um okay i think the big keys on the right actually on the right through that door on the left oh here's some explodey things on the my side i don't think either of those are bombable really yeah we'll let the bombs be the judge of that oh oh dear too many bombs well yeah well okay oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] all right just leave go down yes oh door okay just go through the door look you guys [ __ ] you're so keyed up yeah i'm i'm keyed up bro you got keys for days um i wonder if i should have changed the color of the things there if you had to survive in the desert would ya wow if you had a chance to survive in the desert would you if you had a chance to make a million dollars would ya like yeah yeah i would brave i have i have keys for days my friends [ __ ] keys can you get and i ain't talking about the bats bro i'm talking about [ __ ] you open doors with i'm talking about unlocking i'm talking about chicka chicka wow talking about these [ __ ] slugs spit out bombs like whoa yeah you best be you best represent the [ __ ] slug bombs slug bombs [ __ ] do you think it's their feces uh i do i definitely do what do you think they eat in order to create the bombs as their feces probably subway [Laughter] subway eat um powder keg rubbery chicken and wicks how about this you're so smart like this that i'm doing you're so smart well that didn't do anything wow nice nice work why would they do that to me i think you have to kill all of them no all of the wizards well that's done now why would they do like what are they just infinite wizards i think there are are there let's see they're just gonna keep coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming [ __ ] this room oh you have to do all four wow that is a business i don't think they stay in the position no but it's okay i'll get super fast at it jeez i can't do anything while this is happening oh my god they told me to get into a bathtub so i gotta everyone under your school desks get into the earthquake position oh is that this whole room opening this is me for his eye of cour who the [ __ ] else communicates with me through these things i'm gonna set fire to four torches to open the way for is that right boy you are the best oh it's that hole really yeah but it's black wow you were right every other time there's a black hole it just leads to death and pain that's true of space yes yeah yeah oh sweet right where you needed to busy [ __ ] don't [ __ ] this up don't [ __ ] this up for yourself okay yeah oh you got the cane of gamma i got the tamarind uh you got the candy cane okay what does it do you got the ear wig it creates blocks so that you can put a block down on a button when there isn't oh so it does yeah it's pretty red it also creates platforms in turtle rock oh [ __ ] you can ride so i can just yeah and i don't have to ow never mind okay well there's another item called the magic cape that you get outside of a dungeon that you can walk over spikes with sweet i'll i'll bring you to that so do i now just want to go to um the basement level pretty much to the left to the left to the right to the right next slide baby slide now dip baby dip [Laughter] dip those balls in the chocolate what oh here comes the fall it's fast it's hot oh there you go all right let's [ __ ] fight a boss oh god what do i do what do i do you have to hook shot the eyeballs to you and then attack them oh it's one of these never mind you just hit the eyeballs okay i was wrong whoa could have mentioned the lightning aaron i could have mentioned the light i didn't remember okay it's fine it's the same as aganim's lightning though so [ __ ] you know i'll just stand to the left right you are even though he like sort of looks at you like i'm gonna get you and then he just like shoots in the completely opposite direction this is much easier oh yeah do you like this oh whoa each of those take down two hearts i think yeah they're strong super strong sprinkle sprinkle i like them strong bye baby i'll never forget it [Music] oh no he just bounces around like a silly eyeball oh he's so sweet he's like oh now it's time to show you my true form it's just him i'm just gonna yeah yeah gotcha baby catching that crystal that's like when people yeah it's like when people in a gunfight run out of bullets and they're just like throw their gun what is wrong with you you probably need it later yeah also you you missed him with the bullets like he'll probably dodge the gun thank you [Music] smith i've got a great story to tell you oh dude oh boy look at all those crystals buddy only one left all right get your [ __ ] sweet ass out of here and go in that cave by staying here a little longer oh yeah a little bug man i'll tell you a profitable story if you pay me 20 rupees sure don't want to hear it i'm not interested in talking to people who don't have rupees what's over here you can't you can't you got to warp back to the other one oh i forgot i was in the dark world yeah jeez um yeah so bird over to the no no no bird to the oh wow that's not super close is it um go to two okay you want to go to the cemetery ah near the sanctuary yes [Music] all right go up in that cemetery area okay um yeah those black rocks that are blocking that one oh yeah uh pick those up is this the red mail yes oh my god well no it's the magic cape watch your magic meter oh yeah this makes me go invisible right yeah it makes you so you can walk over spikes yeah oh i'm watching my magic meter i'm watching it go down as [ __ ] oh it goes down as [ __ ] what y'all [ __ ] know about turtle rock yo i know he ain't got no face no mo yo you cast a spell on his back and he all like [ __ ] damn i always thought this was really cool when i was a kid it's really it's still really cool dan all right starting now i always thought this was really cool bam oh and now you've made a platform like how would you even know part of the reason i love this game so much is that like it really never stops throwing interesting new [ __ ] at you yeah i agree well you don't have a whole lot of health i just noticed that just now i know would you just pass by the platform you could have gotten off on you you this one you want me to go on this one yeah why not i don't know there's a key whoa whoa whoa whoa all right geez slow skull trip do you think he gets also as uncomfortable as you do when he gets like too no close want me away please okay so this is kind of tricky you have to light all the lanterns oh i remember this and they they fade away pretty fast yeah so you want to do it like two at a time yeah and when you're up it's so i kind of want to be in yeah in this region okay got it i'll hit it if you hit it right here like yeah and then and then a little shtabam and schnumbles nice nicely work done you can do whatever you want you can walk by these uh death rolly pins that is gonna make some very serious spongy dough yeah it is oh nice got that map son what else is there oh [ __ ] daddy jesus oh i can't believe it oh [ __ ] piss please do what if you just like didn't get up and you're just like thank you oh man you gotta wait for that whole [ __ ] skull situation and get going i don't have to wait i should keep her right yeah sure you know what really bugs me is like tell me any of the numbers could have been afraid of seven oh yeah he's wiggly jumpy man this is the only time you ever see him just kidding he's in another level but what i do know about him is that if you laid him on the [ __ ] fire holy [ __ ] oh my god yeah that was vicious fire burning i know is that the first time you've seen like a stone door like a key oh i'm sorry that's never been the thing maybe you gotta use it oh that's right okay so bam oh that wasn't a good time to we want to oh whoa bro you think i don't know zelda you're acting like i don't [ __ ] know that whoa oh dude you know what i totally [ __ ] remember this and this being like the point where i'm like this [ __ ] i don't get it yeah what do i do that was a little tricky we're getting up to the point where i have no longer um ooh sweet bonus fairies okay good because i think i remember this i think i don't want to curse myself like everybody has direct deposit now right so whenever i get like a check from my grandma or something and i i [ __ ] i'm like here you go and then they're like all right maybe i'll do that oh man you almost got rolly pinned rolly pinned whoa wait wait hang on what okay all right is that a hair on the bottom of the screen see yes cool i love it i'll never ever see it out of the corner of my eye again whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa okay you don't have the mirror shield bro i don't i can't cook that ass though oh i remember this this is a secret check this out whoa yeah and that's how you get to this little tiny ledge here oh my god you're a junior i'm not a genius i just did this the other day that's why you know this [ __ ] so well yeah oh but i didn't get to the final dungeon so if we get there today i'm i'm pretty much boned you're a chatur i'm not a chitor the last dungeon is pretty straightforward is it it's just really long god [ __ ] ah nice got him in the back yeah cold-blooded got got him in the back just like a [ __ ] true warrior with a noble heart what is this you know what that is oh my god boom jams oh my god i can't [ __ ] take it yeah i can't that oh man it's making me feel so [ __ ] inferior to you right now i don't have the big key do i no [ __ ] monkey balls maybe you went a little bit too far or too not far i don't know oh that's where that okay well at least it all connects you get the mirror shield in this i think yeah well i would hope so considering this is where they put the [ __ ] thing with all the [ __ ] yeah yeah there's the big key boom jams magoo yeah a mediocre plot with a bunch of jokes sprinkled about ah oh never mind look at them go they're just going oh what's the purpose of that little creepy guys they're not what the hell there's just a thing they just put in because of the thing oh rolly pin oh [ __ ] [Laughter] i am not dealing with this nonsense right now whoa whoa no okay having a lot of troubles here with yeah you don't want to get hurt yeah like that rolly pinned again all right put that [ __ ] down you gotta light some lanterns now again uh oh oh no this one's like significantly more difficult yeah this is already very confusing oh maybe not maybe i was mistaken oh where am i going right now what the hell is wrong with you it's really kind of like i don't even know oh i'm confused there we go got it do you need it oh damn it oh i think you do need to light some lanterns there's like one lantern in the center maybe not maybe i'm [ __ ] wrong maybe i can [ __ ] is that a button in the center could be ow yes oh yeah and you have to be careful not to just hit it once cause ow oh [ __ ] you got a dash bro oh boy whoa are we cool is everyone cool everyone [ __ ] chilling the [ __ ] out now i love how it's like they're winking at you that's how they fire lasers at you oh you look good oh looking good sailor oh that's actually really helpful oh there's no real way to back out of this is there well wow the whole world turns red like the color of your blood damn aaron dang it what the [ __ ] is the point of this oh i remember you can teleport to the light world well let me try that see what happens [Music] okay not extremely helpful but no now it's um if you die in this dungeon you'll start here instead of at the beginning of the dungeon which is actually very helpful interessant yeah i sure could use a [ __ ] it's weird that they don't telegraph that though yeah it is it just kind of it's like well that was useless yeah exactly thank god no [Laughter] something very painful about that sound effect [Music] [Laughter] you just like a hooker like a [ __ ] bass just [ __ ] stuck her with the end of that spear that was really funny bringing the beat bringing the beat back yup yeah yeah i remember like being like very like oh oh so you want to use the fire and ice wands for this but you know oh that's right that's right i remember this guy i think i think it's better to kill the ice head first because he like manipulates the environment i sure yeah [Music] he's like stop police yeah they light up head attack head butt got him okay that was easy yeah he does a lot of damage though well the red one shoots stuff at you but the blue one like actually like [ __ ] up the floor with his iciness oh yeah so like that makes life a lot harder yeah i love how it's just like the level is just him yeah whoa yeah yeah he gets super happy when he's about to head butt he's like wagging his tail like here comes there's a lot of like oh jesus yeah yeah yeah about this yeah oh gotta hit him in that glowy man it it really just seems like there was like no holds barred when they were coming up with bosses yeah it's great they're all very different the rock turtle and he turned into a rock worm i don't [ __ ] know got him god there's a lot of [ __ ] exploding that happens with this guy every zelda yeah what [ __ ] what [ __ ] what [ __ ] walk inside and you explode you just see like [ __ ] eyeballs whoa whoa jesus that crystal almost hit me at shatters and the girl's dead she's like catch me [Music] every boss in zelda is is fully loaded with an arsenal of explosives yeah so that they won't tell you the secrets once they're dead link is actually like damn it not again i'll never know the secret i appreciate you're coming so far to rescue me as i thought you are the legendary hero i knew it i called it i told them and they didn't believe me yeah but that's why i'm in the seventh crystal i felt this from the first time we met when did we meet she's zelda that's oh that is zelda yeah sorry i [Music] uh oh [ __ ] you're oh i'm sorry it's just that you were 16 bits and i gannon is waiting outside of inside of his tower to pass through the gate linking the two worlds once ganon enters the light world it's unlikely that anyone can stop him just like when just like when aaron goes into dairy queen what if he stays in the closed space of this world you can find him wherever he runs now go to the tower of canon we will use our combined powers to break the barrier let's return peace to the country without fail do you understand what yeah do you understand may i have some water yeah it's been forever may the force be where the hero lead to the triforce kachink done dunion rings baby can you get your sword tempered again or is this you're at the top level oh no you know where that happens where that happens at uh we can go do it now really because we got all the crystals so okay let's do let's do that where is the nearest portal to my house to your house yeah wow wow so it's time to [ __ ] upgrade this rad sword and the bomb guy who has [ __ ] taken up residence in my house like a [ __ ] big douche well whatever man you're not there yeah but listen i don't [ __ ] care if it's in my dimension of reality or not i paid the mortgage so [ __ ] that [ __ ] is mine i own the deeds do you think i'm mr deeds do you think dying bug net kid gives a [ __ ] about who took over his house he doesn't even care about where his bug net goes and that's his prized possession of course he doesn't he is super dead are they dead or are they just transformed oh well no because he's in the light world right but when you go to the light world or the dark world like the dudes change right like the frog guy was the sword dude oh yeah so i honestly have no idea i don't know look at the size of that bomb talk to me max garrido just like the [ __ ] walking what like he's just sitting there behind the counter like waiting for somebody to come in and you just walk in and you're like look at the size of that bomb and he's like yeah i know it's like the moment he's been waiting for yeah like oh awesome [Laughter] sucker's born every minute thank you very much drop this bomb off anywhere all right but there is a specific place there is a space you may have noticed that there is a uh a giant crack uh in your butt um [Laughter] thanks i will be uh i will be here thank you all for joining me on this journey now that i've reached the pinnacle of humor i think i'll be retiring from comedy you have to go right there's no bridge oh yeah jeepers creepers all right so um there is a um a giant crack in the side of the um the temple yeah you have to go right [ __ ] almost there baby they call it the palace of darkness come on ganon get a [ __ ] linguist or something like get a creative team [Music] just with a powerpoint presentation uh gannon what about um you were thinking about the nest of evil what about the palace of darkness and they're like with this again why did you even hire us [Music] boom there's like two things whoops right the bow and the no that's good is it good yeah you want the upgraded bow it's the only week whoa that is a zoftic fairy um yeah that's very helpful when i was a kid uh i think we got this game secondhand or like my brother played it without me being there uh-huh so like there was sort of like there's like a version of the game where everything was not different and then the version of the game where everything was different right so like the life bar has the one half and uh the hole in the wall is is like big because you use the bomb and stuff right right so like when i played it and it didn't have any of that stuff and like it was still a crack and it and the life bar only had the didn't have the one half yeah it's always so weird for me like it is weird oh but [ __ ] check out that yellow sword i just got no butt [ __ ] it's golden oh god i'm so [ __ ] ready to wreck shot god it's like you pissed on that sword actually is it my imagination or do you swing this one faster whoa i don't know i never thought about it that feels faster but it might just be like the colors like playing tricks on your eyes feeling yeah beautiful soliloquy you want to go up okay you get your up and downs messed up too no aaron i'm not like i'm not like a disoriented child [Laughter] okay i think this is it is this it may be there's another hole in the wall over to the left so this is definitely something jeez this is a bad bad what the [ __ ] hey i'll tell you a profitable story if you pay me 20 rupees why don't you tell me the story about how you became a talking ambulatory hand oh my god it's so terrifying the day i became a talking ambulatory hat to tell you the truth i used to be a thief in the light world some of my fellow thieves weren't into hiding because they were afraid of being caught no one of them was a master locksmith but now he's hiding the fact that he was a thief by pretending to be a strange middle-aged guy oh it's the yeah yeah do you remember how you did that thing already cool this has been pointless yeah too bad you can't talk otherwise you could have told him and scolded him well we have two choices whoa i wasn't even expecting that that's right that was a secret this is lifting rocks to waste time oh no maybe did you know that if you destroy frozen enemies with the hammer you will often get a magic decanter no [ __ ] all right so we have two choices bomb that wall maybe i will that's where your magic cape is your magic cape spike room is the cane yeah guaranteed bro really yeah dude look there it is spiky ground okay [Laughter] i'm gonna start doing that for like all kinds of like inconsequential things like can you get me some two percent milk barry do it just like your [ __ ] mouth is all saliva-filled spitting spit everywhere that spiky area there it is there's the place here we go i forgot which button it was oh boy that did not give me much well you get you get magic on the other side do you yeah bro i guess it's just a mad dash out of there got that cane though swing it once oh a ring of light will protect you oh maybe that's what you're meant to do then no no i don't think it i think it protects you from enemies oh good ground but maybe i don't know try it out nah i can't waste the magic i'll need it for the cape whoops the cape the kit the cape okay oh boy get the fudge out of there oh boy this oh my god brutal ow ow ow that's what i've been doing hey baby come back to me no you're not getting a piece of this wand yo it looks like a fun dip stick all right you know what night girl i wasn't gonna do it girl but now you maybe got the hook shot she's like ow ow my colon [Laughter] boom there's one boom there's two bam what a point card he's like christ i mean you know you don't get credit towards your next one um how do i get here again oh you want to go all the way to turtle rock and then warp and then come all the way it's all the way to the right yeah yeah okay seven figured out how to get that um that floating heart piece yeah i mean neither i did it in my like personal playthrough and i can't [ __ ] remember was it a cave was it yeah it's definitely a cave it's a it's like a series of weird mirror things that have to happen [Music] oh baby baby don't come back baby don't play hard to get touch me with that fun dip stick okay got it okay oh a little sweetness you know what i'm saying give me a little sweetness you are very disturbing right now you know what really bugs me about that portal what's that it's just off centered oh yeah like a little bit it's kind of frustrating everything should be perfect that's how i feel oh boy i have no magic is it a bad idea to go to gannon's tower with i'm sure you'll find some super zero magic you do have three vats of blue goo to just to pour all over your hot butt that's how it works oh [ __ ] well there it is [ __ ] go so that oh yeah yeah oh god damn it feels so good was there an energy field like that in the first zelda because there definitely isn't the second one uh remember the second one had like a metroid barrier that you had to get through yeah yeah oh baby i don't think so do you have to fight six ganons yeah like right in this opening room jeez man that's a lot again and they all have triforces oh boy i'll just start at the left how powerful are these ganons yeah so i mean this is a lot like the first you know in the first zelda where like the last dungeon is just like rooms it's just room for four days that's what this one's kind of like okay that's it's just [ __ ] rooms man well let's just go start [ __ ] rocking them down oh no you should have planned that out better that's going to be helpful nice nice oh [ __ ] i'm i'm guessing i've had to do that right oh there's so many holes now you made holes happen i know right bro i always do oh boy that's stressful yeah we're gonna be safe behind those three ones yeah think so that [ __ ] safe safe oh that's nice safe and then yo you safe dawg you out of that [ __ ] treacherous situation yeah into another no problem scenario you're going spikes back and forth and whatnot oh boy oh where's the oh where's the beef how do i get over there well why don't you pick up that second skull and well [Laughter] oh it's it's uh it's the star thing the star thing yeah you know when you step on the star and then it shifts the holes but i think you're stuck now what do you there's a way to get back oh maybe it's uh ether maybe there's a hidden path oh oh i see what you're saying yeah just give it a shot or you push damn it wait why did you use this oh because i can hook shots today yeah got it sorry i i was so intent on all right okay that's cool oh good for you damn it somebody in the corner starts a stopwatch oh and he just looks at you with judging eyes and you're like i feel like i'm playing [ __ ] gauntlet all of a sudden what are we talking about i don't know hmm yeah you're gonna wanna don't wanna find some magic whoa some magic or i could like look up a map and just cheat nah let's see through this you need to keep that magic ether drinking a lot of it can you uh can you get your phone ready and take a picture of this oh my god oh dude really good idea using technology all right ready yeah it flashes though so it's probably gonna give it a shot give it a shot here we go okay oh boy done yeah yeah i took it so they say all right so it goes straight down yeah and you want it damn it i thought it was going to get a magic decanter like the like shaharsham all right uh you might have to do it again but go down and go straight down well well like you the safest path is one square over from where the other path ends like here yeah so i think you just want to go straight down right and stop all right go like two blocks right okay now go down just go down down keep going come on that was close keep going down dollar stop uh go right stop uh go up oh boy and one more one more square all right cool now go right the [ __ ] god damn it all right you're gonna have to use you turkey that's that's kind of a [ __ ] i only have so much picture oh okay [Music] yeah stay there and just go straight down [Music] one square yeah do you want me to do it yeah okay hold on i'll give it one more shot one square yeah you're safe here stop okay uh go right two squares all right go down stop uh one more square okay cool go right like three squares okay um up like two squares so like one square above the path on the left all right cool okay now you're going to want to ether again yes and i'll uh i'll take another pair we're doing it oh wow look at that okay cool okay so that has a weird connecting thing it's like here oh hey look it doesn't oh and nope no it's a diagonal yeah it's like not connected but yeah you can it's like one square up so if you want to try that again it's definitely faster no it's cool right right yeah and then down and then uh left way right right up but i was just i was just flip-flopping it for you thank you thank you very kindly um yeah so yes this one okay go right like three squares all right uh god damn it this is the hardest here let me try it okay because i got the reference picture right here okay it's hard to sort of like talk about tile sets [Music] of moving on the ice i'm gonna go this way that way every which way okay and up and to the rights and to the the ups and then we got the more of the [ __ ] [ __ ] it i'm just gonna use the last ether and just gun it all right yes [ __ ] did it no [Laughter] oh boy okay we [ __ ] got this is in the bag baby like austin powers okay um all right here we go look at that oh that's helpful actually [ __ ] don't know my shits nice [Music] you know what this seems like an excellent time to get all our whoa all our life and magic back [Music] why would you say that okay get it all back light that lantern see if that does anything i will now that i have magic does that like show the whole floor sure does god damn it oh they're not even awake nope correction bro use your silver oils don't i need those for getting it on yeah but you'll get more they're just regular arrows use your arrows they'll kill them in one hit i'm waiting until i can make sure they end up in the same place [ __ ] awesome silver arrows are the best yeah he's upset yeah he's pissed he can't even show that he's red he's like oh man if you didn't have that woogity brothers and oh i'm salty i'm a little salty don't get me wrong you can just dash into that wall oh yeah the ones that look like mushrooms are dashable you're bomb saving bastard ooh who's coming with me [Laughter] sheerah oh boy so there that is get that kid do you have the big kia i don't oh what a waste where is oh this is the first room you were in oh yeah wow look at them now you have a key well look at you yeah i knew it i knew it you sneaky shark okay question those statues yep do you think that's like uh like a face mask or those two eyes because i always saw them as two eyes what do you mean on his face is that like is it like one of those like grill masks oh yeah i think so wait oh there was i remember there is a part of the stage that i never ever got to as a kid it's on the map but i never knew how to get to it oh that's where that goes get a little get a little secret secret shimmy oh [ __ ] you're back here yeah we never went to the door on the top left where's he going oh okay oh geez i think that door's gonna close if you go through it i think you're right oh boy do you not have the big key yet no not yet wow this is this level is enormous yeah it's ridiculous it's a little chronicles of ridiculous chronicles of riddick calvin diesel because this [ __ ] is [ __ ] too fast too furious i think i think the fast and the furious franchise has probably like the worst naming convention of any movie what do you mean it's do you i mean so the first movie is the fast and the furious right second movie is too fast too furious right the third movie is fast and the furious tokyo drift right the fourth movie i think is just like fast and furious okay the fifth movie is furious five oh okay the sixth movie i think is this one with which i think is did i say fast and furious as a movie i believe you did because that i i don't even know i don't even [ __ ] know again god damn it i'm just gonna [ __ ] look it up right now all right do it remember when we were in japan and we saw the oh gosh again um we saw the thing for it and it was called skylanders yeah sky mission sky mission was that it highlanders oh sorry that's right i got confused yeah okay so [Music] what the [ __ ] okay okay i was wrong first movie is the fast and the furious second movie too fast too furious third movie the fast and the furious tokyo drift movie fast and furious fifth movie fast five sixth movie fast and furious six seventh movie furious seven wow i forgot what the point was the point is what the [ __ ] okay my friends apparently all i had to do was [ __ ] walk up and here's the big kid okay oh boy and i mean you'd think if he was gonna build a temple to himself he would have done it like to his human face and not his gross like cursed pig face does he have a human face yeah remember he was a person and then he became warped by his evil it's red mail oh oh i forgot oh well looks like i'm red now well you're welcome better protection yep and i've got a cool purple hat apparently that accessorizes with it has anyone ever like cosplayed this because this is like it it sort of looks okay in a sprite but i imagine if somebody actually wore it it would just be like did you run out of other fabrics [Laughter] all right there's a door down there do you see that there's a room down there down where i've never been able to get to that room the one at the end of this hall yeah let's try it i don't know how i was probably just a child and i didn't know oh how do you do it is there is there an invisible walkway can you ether to figure that out i feel like maybe i well then you're like what the [ __ ] how do you do it don't make no sense how do you get down there maybe push one of these i feel like i tried everything as a kid and i was just like i don't and you never come back to it weird i want to know now seriously i want to know too this is going to [ __ ] yeah it's bothered me for the my entire life so that's how i know [Laughter] uh what zelda dungeon yeah zeldadungen.net dungeon dungeon.net what the hell place a bomb to blow up the wall oh it's a fairy fountain oh okay but wait a second how do you get there though oh gee oh geez at the right side of this room there's a secret room beyond the cracked wall in order to make it across link must stand directly south of the two blocks on the right facing upward use the pegasus boots to dash into the blocks sending link flying across the gap get out of here oh that's crazy let's do it let's do it that is that is like super advanced linked to the past text i would have never thought of that [ __ ] oh yeah well you can't you can just hit a and dash no it it knocks you into the oh boy [Music] oh my god that's amazing that's crazy town holy [ __ ] dude all right now you know oh that is some kind of vindication boy i [ __ ] know it finally after all these years okay it was a way to get down there yeah man they didn't just put that there to [ __ ] with you how do you get across a hook shot yeah oh yeah wow sons of [ __ ] that that's very clever those sons of people look at you you got a big smile on your face oh snap it's a staircase that goes maybe up or down boy this is awkward he's winking and blowing kisses oh my god i'm just going to take a second why don't i [Laughter] maybe because i'm scared okay fine i understand how you feel all right oh that's that's not good i think you gotta stare it up again all right noted okay oh jeez oh boy this is a predicament to be in this this is a good old-fashioned dill pickle i'm right in the middle of okay oh man dude you're so close i can smell ganon's pit stench damn that is the worst i'm big and spiky my little brothers go faster but [Music] okay stick on the inside get your powder out bro yeah your [ __ ] onion powder of doom oh i love it how did you get through this game without knowing that i that they can be fairies it's so useful it is super i don't know maybe i just thought it was harder than it is yeah is there anything actually in the game that explicitly says that just the fact that they're called anti-fairies but they never call it that in the game they don't it's in the manual oh boy yeah i guess well that this is from a more innocent time when they expect you to buy the [ __ ] thing yeah well i mean it comes with it but right but i mean i'm not saying it's bad i think it's cool no damn that's the kind of magic and mystery that i miss in games like these where am i now [Music] you're in you're in foursquare wizard game land i completely didn't want to fall down that thing i think it's really easy to get back up there i hope it takes you right to him okay good this guy is got to be one of the more like annoying guys to fight in the game yeah but he's the lesser of the giant slug twins oh this is that yeah is there did i not even need to kill him no i must have needed to [Music] and you fall down yeah maybe adorable yeah something happens here wow is it maybe if you kill those guys something happens yeah i think that's got to be right yeah there's no way to kill them all oh man well that's that then yeah it must have just opened up a door in another part of the but how the [ __ ] are you supposed to get out oh solid question oh and he's alive again oh boy this is a whole nother pickle jesus crow okay we've got a whole jar of pickles going on maybe i have to all right so that sound when i killed the big wormy dude yeah was the sound of a treasure chest appearing down here nope i gotta kill him again um but yeah i'll do a [ __ ] foot son of a [ __ ] yeah oh the goopy ball slug strikes again i am getting he's [ __ ] googly eyes if they ever made a figure of that toy his eyes would absolutely be googly eyes going crazy like just traditional ass googly eyes yo those googs are tradition as [ __ ] you go like a [ __ ] holiday party or whatever and they're like um we only use traditional googlies yeah uh are these kooks for dish oh god stop with this oh [ __ ] oh boy this is starting to look very serious is this [ __ ] it i believe this is agamemnon and no it's ganon really yeah already my arrows come on it's [ __ ] gannon oh yeah no it's again it's great that you could come all the way here smeaf have a donut yeah i'm very happy to see you again but you better believe that we will not have a third meeting prepare to meet your uh yeah right at the end nothing threatening about it there's like a total party host right up until like that last line you'd better believe me we're not going to have a third meeting i'm moving to kansas and i know you won't make it out to kansas but if you do i'd love to see you [Music] oh i just have to reflect the main guy yeah also you're dead what oh he's the one who tricks you out dick move bro don't trick me dang they're shooting so many [ __ ] glowy balls at you thank you i know it's unreal ugh this is much trickier there we go that's a good one oh it doesn't shoot the lightning anymore i guess not i guess that would be too much they all shot lightning oh yeah i guess it's just good to always attack got him [Music] oh [ __ ] i'm a pig now my back what am i wait how's your little bird friend there i don't know that's that is a [ __ ] plot hole right right asked questions he flew in through the hole again and left in the ceiling that is a bad shape to hold yeah that's a [ __ ] thank you bird friend oh yeah wait the bird is from another dimension yeah right like what's the hill that is a decent question you just asked well oh [ __ ] ganon time never met oh you do the voice i never imagined you could give me so much trouble it's unbelievable that you defeated my alter ego agonym the dark wizard twice how how how [Music] eat my orange bats whoa i can easily turn into a bat myself but i choose not to [Music] is it starting to get awkward what no oh you fell down the gannon hole that's like what his butthole looks like if he was square that's not true where am i now yeah i don't know i don't think i've ever fallen down good job [ __ ] okay do you understand yeah of course i do where the [ __ ] am i all right oh geez he's gonna use his darkness all right you have to light the lanterns and then he appears and then i think that's when you shoot him with the arrow and he's like oh jeez it's so bright right now oh he's gone now okay boy that's my one chance yeah oh no now do it yeah yeah yeah yeah right for tofa baby ah geez that hurt oh oh i gotta keep doing it take my fire [ __ ] bats [Laughter] i fed them i fed them a combination of del taco and taco bell in order to get to that point very dangerous so you hit him with your master sword and then he goes all ooh wait so you could get to this point with just the normal master sword i guess so ew gross i've never i don't think i've ever done that um ew that's it yeah batman yay check out my piss sword ah i am the strongest warrior in the land nothing only matches it's like beeping through the whole ending yeah oh this feels pretty [ __ ] epic whoa welcome smeef the triforce will grant the wishes in the heart and mind of the person who touches it i guess this will tell us a lot about who smith is yeah i want a pony yeah i want seven hot [ __ ] if a person with a good heart touches it it grants his evil wishes if an evil-hearted person touches it it will make his good wishes come true wait [Music] what the triforce is waiting for a new owner its golden power is in your hands what will you do with it it's golden shower is in your pants you're just like oh i need a minute yeah can i can i have a privacy please no touch it with a wish in your heart oh you got it baby you're like trying not to mess it up you're like world peace world peace world peace hot girl damn it well it's good for me but not for world peace oh you are hot though the return of the king lord of the rings reference hyrule castle wait there was a king yeah what the [ __ ] yeah remember we were trying to save her dad at the very beginning that's what the nights look like yeah they're all friendly but you murdered a ton of them you like a lot a loyal sage remember me i died too i can't see much through these sunglasses indoors oh the [ __ ] kid had recovered oh yeah the bug kid yeah and the brothers have made up oh he didn't turn into a hideous bug monster and the bird is like what do i do now they were just paid to stand there and vultures rule the desert okay i guess that's i guess that's okay yeah [ __ ] oh there's the guy opening his chest he's like for god's sake i gotta find something to save me from these vultures [Music] oh this is what they're like when they're not eating oh yay they really don't look very friendly it looks like he's just ready to beat the [ __ ] out of him your uncle doesn't die what whoa oh man purple hair magoo he still doesn't have a name i can't believe you lived could have easily put a comma and the name flippers for sale i mean that really is neither here nor there yeah i'm still selling [ __ ] don't worry about me get that camera out of my face the witch and the assistant dude i hope the [ __ ] flute guy comes back to life [Laughter] oh we didn't do that one we didn't do that oh yeah we did forget to get that one that's fine [Music] we're twins yay flute boy blaze again the old man's like oh god shut up be a tree please venus queen of fairies is this the the big the big one yeah yeah she's her now she's do you think she turns into the other fairy the dark world fairy like when she eats too many hostess cupcakes just being like in the dark world transformation the dwarven swordsmith i liked being a frog better the bug catching kid oh they made a special thing just for him yeah looks like he's from south park dot dot dot dies [Music] [Laughter] wait they haven't even showed him yet no there there he is okay i'm back oh you gave him his net back and i [ __ ] twin fun dipsticks his parents are like get that deadly hornet away from us i'll never catch it the lost old man yeah thanks for remembering i'm still up here alone i've soothed your wounds many times i'll be pushing sharks later in wind waker oh there's one little groucho guy oh yeah yeah what about it i'm still in the forest [ __ ] you okay and the master sergeant you give it away forever geez yeah i'm not so [ __ ] sure about that [ __ ] you think every so often forever or until 1996. he gets into like a really shitty argument he's like you know what he just like runs off the forest and pulls him out again i'm sick and tired of your [ __ ] oh man we did it yeah thanks a million exactly yeah [Music] those are background designers they designed all the backs of the characters as well as the ground they walked on everything else was done by some shitty artist backslash ground designer oh my god so dumb oh man i'm trying to count i lost count a little bit i think this is 12 people so far really that made this whole game jeez by any programmers it's going to be more two up three four pushing a okay cool yeah that's that's like a that's now we're real credits now real credits territory oh my god there were a lot of programmers damn i guess this is a huge game oh yeah for the time now it's just a piddly piece of [ __ ] we can beat in what 20 episodes i think 30. i'm sure someone could beat it in 20 episodes i'm sure somebody could beat it in one episode yeah what are they trying to say here i don't understand uh i don't know games level one dark palace level two swamp whoa maybe this is how many times you died there huh yeah maybe i think i think that's right it's like oh man so many zeros yeah yeah did you die twice at turtle rock i i might have but you died during ganon's fight total games played yeah seven or all right i guess they count like saving and quitting that's what i see not bad double oh seven baby sex bang daniel sexbang shake and not stand seen now it's themed yeah oh that was a great playthrough man yeah i'm glad i had wonderful fun me too it was nice not playing something for change yeah even though i really wanted to play links to the past so thanks thanks thanks thanks for being a dick see you later everybody i had a wonderful time me too love you guys i hope you have a wonderful day not you dan the audience okay and i hope you all remember to brush your teeth please if you don't it's important you will get a bad case of gingivitis truth and the plaque will create cavities yep and that's no fun you'll be biting into something and it'll hurt a lot and uh well there's no reversing that next time on game grumps well you sure know how to end the [ __ ] with a bang we should just end every game episode with a dental public service oh themed thanks for joining us and eat your peas bye everybody well we did it that was marvelous another job well done thank you aaron you're welcome

Channel: John Odd

Views: 248,018

Keywords: danny reacts, danny game grumps, danny and arin, arin game grumps, best of danny, danny avidan, funny, best moments, compilaiton, john odd, rage, Game Grumps - Loz Link to the Past - Supercut! [Streamlined for smoother experience!], legend of zelda, link to the past, link, past, game grumps loz link to the past, supercut, smoother, compilation, best of, moments, sleep, aid, supercut legend of zelda, zelda supercut, snes, classic, danny playing, legend of zelda link to the past, super cut

Id: ho86LZs5VnQ

Length: 155min 55sec (9355 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 26 2021