Christmas Eve Marathon! (Jingle Grumps 2013-2019, NO HORROR GAMES)

i ram stuff i deliver that stuff no you're nice it's the jingle cross what's your [ __ ] know about elf bowling also merry christmas yo it's it's crazy jewish i don't i can still wish people a merry christmas oh i guess that's true we're playing bowling why are we doing this because it's one of the only oh my god strike wow do you bowl yeah no but i hate christmas so no i don't i don't i can't bowl really in real life i'm terrible at it why i don't know just not yeah oh my god you're getting strikes [Applause] i don't hate christmas either by the way i'm not a grinchy yeah wipe those elves off why is santa like doing that to his people i don't that's a horrible thing to do who will make the toys now me really in our next episode yes in a game whatever dude let me tell you a little something you may not have known about me [ __ ] unbelievable elf bowling champion that's a turkey i just got a turkey yeah oh man you know the bowling terms oh yeah i know that well there's only two right turkey and ball well there's like there's like split and like uh there's all kinds of other things i think there's a five one too if you get five strikes in a row it's like a it's like a maryland bomber or something the maryland bomber well i just got it oh [ __ ] marilyn bomber y'all yo if only bowling were this easy dog i'd be winning mad dollars would you yeah cause i entered bowling tournament watch out for that reindeer no no don't hit the reindeer did it just take his head off no oh [ __ ] it got damaged dude it took his head off oh dear god damn it there went my perfect [ __ ] score that's okay it's not okay well maybe i'll beat your perfect score and then we'll see who's the best at belf bowling fine let me just pick up the spare real quick okay nice i love that they scream this is a weird game yeah yeah it's like an internet game that started a long time ago and like running around in emails and [ __ ] really you know like the kind of thing that like your uncle would send you yeah yeah yeah be like check this out really made me laugh and that's all like with no punctuation right have you seen this cat that can't get out of the cardboard box and then there's like 17 like four words [ __ ] that 710 elf split oh wow that's never what you want a 710 elf split this is gonna be very difficult to pick up how many elves does santa have and well at least a hundred because many have been killed thus far and you need enough for 10 frames but one of them is going to survive this i'll kill this one all right dude he just he just like cursed you out did he really yeah you should take that one out first i'm glad something just grabbed him by the face and sucked him up into the uh ether yeah that reindeer is like just like just chilling yeah i guess i'm just here now he's been like a real oh what the [ __ ] oh god man bastard gee that's not real bowling yeah did you know what that reindeer ever since he showed up i've been off my game oh wow yeah i know you think he's like giving off i think he's jinxing me all right last frame you're gonna have a tall order ahead of you my friend go for it dude you can't just walk on off the street and just bowl elves over like this i think you gotta bring it oh damn look at santa yeah i did it i'll be making the toys this year yeah seriously that's what i was thinking like he's killing all his helpers and he's like time to rest and mrs claus is like what have you done yeah so be it boosh get out of my [ __ ] life proud of myself yeah that's a good score thanks man is that it do i get oh [ __ ] one last right oh dude yeah because you got a strike oh yeah yeah whoops that's well bonus elves yeah it's all right i've seen better but okay don't act like you're not impressed nice work man 207. wait we can do two player on that [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] let's do it oh so doing it whoa what is this santa and dangle oh oh dude is this [ __ ] is this uh what's it called shuffleboard oh my god oh my god why is he naked why is he nude so it's like based on like how far you can get right what's the red one but you don't want to get too far oh this is gross oh yeah how do you like that [ __ ] that was very impressive i think this is yours all right yeah i am blue you're you're chris dingles i'm chris christopher how do you are you looking at my butt ah it's the little things in life i'll shuffle yeah oh apparently we can't shuffle our elves off yeah nice thanks brah look at you yeah thank god so many elves in the zone cluster [ __ ] of elves yeah if you move i said are we on a ship is that what it is yeah we're but we're like on the titanic that's about to crash into an iceberg yeah well so be it go yeah get in there leaving space for everyone this game's [ __ ] easy dude super easy jesus christ i think this is meant to be played on phones that's the reason for the for the easiness well it's meant to be played in on a game boy advance what is that i it's a game boy i am unfamiliar it's advanced if this if if these are the advancements then uh whoa whoa whoa calm your tits elf a game boy advance is a it was what came after the game boy color it's like it has like roughly super nintendo graphics capabilities oh god maybe a little bit better all right that's a nice save thanks man i kind of want to like screw up just to switch things up yeah just launch your elves into the sea yeah here do do it do it on one oh so you can win yeah how about no oh you son of mine [ __ ] destroy you i it's a downer that we can't knock other elves off oh yeah that's true that's that's that's the real shame of this game i'm going to play with fire not everything else about it and stop what happened there i don't know uh let's bring these elves in hand that's right baby damn that's right damn right damn right damn damn oh [ __ ] wait how did you get double points by going farther what yeah yeah that's not cool it's super cool dingles y'all remember the name yeah oh yeah all right you're gonna get [ __ ] up now oh [ __ ] now that i know the secrets your guys is wearing a lay not anymore yeah [ __ ] it's that [ __ ] it's amazing oh damn that's far it's amazing that like uh launching these things or having fun with this would be so much more fun for our audience to watch but we can't bring ourselves to do it because it would mean we'd lose that [ __ ] game boy advanced elf bowling sorry don't [ __ ] nudge me i gave you i gave you a very gentle nudge right at a crucial [Music] moment you are gonna get served a platter of your own feces what oh no hi yeah the tables have turned yeah this is this is not good that's not what i need wait just because you screwed it now i'm gonna yeah launch him make him go a little bit further to see if that works [ __ ] oh god oh this is actually fun let's do a little of uh oh yours has three oh you he just has that ah that's [ __ ] not fair yeah get in there come on man why do you get the 3x when you already have a [ __ ] advantage on me because it's a [ __ ] stock market elf yeah yeah oh yeah it is the maximum potential this [Laughter] oh what the [ __ ] i think hitting the other elves does like uh bring him in a little closer wow oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah did i lose some elves oh dude i'm killing it i think some elves fell off man yeah i think i might have knocked some elves off oh man [ __ ] you your way you suck can i do one of these i'm gonna stab you whoa how did you get that little curve what happened i just hit it like way too soon oh nice hoop nice hula hue thanks bruh boy i can't wait yeah well there's like some there's like some [ __ ] turning to this yeah it's like a tilted board this game sucks my uh nifken oh that's the uh that's the area below the balls uh taint between the balls and the butt crack oh nice work screwing yourself over not into that giving me the win i'm gonna go ahead and sing [ __ ] destroy you yes that's okay with you i believe taint stands for taint the balls taint the ass i think that's how it works what yeah that's the reason people call it the taint i don't get it the like that area the nifken the grundle right but i don't get why because it taint the balls taint the ass oh it aims yeah it ain't yes much like um shut up you yeah self-righteous much like egypt is like the taint of the world taint africa taint asia you know what i'm saying oh that makes sense i think it's technically yeah i think it technically is africa by the way yeah i might catch some [ __ ] for that later taint effort it's it happens it's like saying florida taint the us it taint oh okay no damn it wow could you be storming back for the ultimate comeback talk about getting served oh dude hold on oh who let the dogs out very very timely reference timeless yes yeah tink oh look at you it's all your guys mm-hmm it's all your guys is that enough is that it that's enough baby oh no no no no oh my god oh my god it's a tie everybody wins yay merry christmas everybody aaron do me a favor let's take this game and pour hot maple syrup on it and throw it into the street okay why maple syrup i don't know so it can be eaten by like animals and other other varmint but they would just eat the syrup not the not the and then the game would be like pristine because it was cleaned by the yeah you're right but nature's splendors hadn't considered that yeah merry christmas everyone merry christmas everybody christmas yay yeah christmas santa claus is coming what the hell do i do walk around walk around like you got a fish in your mouth you got a point of the screen dude okay great okay well all right uh bonus oh oh let me see okay yes please oh you got to hold it sideways they don't tell you they don't tell you that in preschool what a bunch of shenanigans this is this game is hard uh play uh you want to join in oh my god i can join you can join in i don't know if i have a wemo that has batteries right all right [ __ ] it going alone oh fine christmas by myself mr penguin you're having a good time on top of that reindeer because i'm a jew oh here we go oh god oh no no all these creatures should be subtly shaking special delivery cougar s d for short sd uh don't don't do that don't ask the d is this based on the claymation movies i never saw them all of your questions because you've never seen the [ __ ] not even like once no man is that the very beginning no they're neither really oh they're kind of shitty okay the classic claymation videos of our years past yes yes like um penguin reindeer story rudolph the red nosed reindeer uh slaughtered the bee burgermeister what the [ __ ] [ __ ] stoop he's like a [ __ ] marionette i just wanna see him like dangle over oh god what's up with your mouth my bottom chin is a bowl take care of my child eat this burrito for me okay it's very rambunctious just opens up his mouth and drops it in why is he wearing a german kaiser helmet i don't know because he's uh he's authority i mean i mean i guess they're german so that's you that's santa claus his name is klaus he's coming to town oh okay his name is clash and you'll treat him right oh god that santa claus is a little [ __ ] with a gross trapezoid mouth get out of here i'm assuming at some point we're going to see a penguin but the guard riding on the way to the orphanage i'll raise this child they had to hide that baby and fast so they buried it so inside squirrel fed on its eyeballs they were nuts god what a splendid idea he shall live with us and sleep with us and drink warm cocoa with us wait a second [ __ ] that baby his poor eyes i can see everything i can see if you're naughty all right so oh my god whoa whoa he learned everything 10 minutes later the graphics suddenly get really good how to run how to jump i think that's like pre-rendered how to have fun yeah oh no that's 3d for sure that's the sound penguins make didn't you know that i guess so didn't you watch national geographic those are the color scars they were too topper oh okay wow oh that's my attack you throw toys you throw toys and you get them back too great well here's a toy for you timmy jk naughty list for you timmy hmm wait which timmy are you ha snowflakes oh collect as many of those as oh god does it really have to stop you every single [ __ ] time yep snowflakes yeah jumping is how you get things that are higher than you are on the ground try it good you tried it good job tutorial 0.5 of 1 complete try pressing the right button in order to travel in the right word position man this this this is awesome it is awe-inspiring that better be a functionality at some point no way no way no way i wanted to just be like i'm i'm alone in the woods throwing toys to myself all right whoa oh man so you have to collect every single a golden snowflake that means god has pissed on it before it fell from the sky oh no now he peed on all of them yeah god has a very huge bladder he is everything you know god what a horrible game i mean uh great game okay uh yeah can you lick the bottom like a candy cane yeah but your tongue will get guys it's stuck you said you didn't know christmas i i know [ __ ] injuring myself in the winter trying to lick things do the motion to fix as many toys as you can uh so you got to do the motion that looks like jerking off what's your goal oh [ __ ] you're here it is drink it off mm-hmm you did it yay took it off jerk it off come on jerk it off wait it's giving you a different motion each time oh so that's no that one's like it's still jerking off and then that one's like the yeah you want to shake it upside down up and down um but it's not even working apparently okay there we go i just have to [ __ ] just throw it on top of washington toss it around let let let kringle decide you did poorly my son yeah i'm a man now oh god i'll be the judge of that yes today i'll leave for somber town somber town where the [ __ ] would you want to go there because they could use some of this [ __ ] toys but sorry somber town toys are for me looks like you're gonna have a good time this year no more somber for you somber [ __ ] all right listen up you somber [ __ ] shit's gonna be real different this year brought some toys brought some television shows that you may enjoy oh that's a lovely rainbow brought you a subscription to netflix yeah i [ __ ] defy you i brought you jet skis you gonna stay sombra on a jet ski you pricks on the water could be going faster whatever dude you are golden snowflake town right now what the [ __ ] is the point of this game i'm sorry wait uh wait wait wait good why does why is it the sound of like a [ __ ] train going by cool great you did it yeah congratulations i guess you've made it to sombertown by running a bit yeah pretty psyched about it this is the most riveting game i've ever played it's pretty good it's pretty good great news i've converted to christianity this game convinced me yeah sorry sorry father i must denounce our entire heritage now because um have you seen this dude you almost threw that on the on the on the ice on the ground oh [ __ ] dude you lost your sunflake snowflakes i did not realize what that was yeah it's an icy ground now would you walk on an icy ground in reality probably sure all the time dude have you ever just it's been a while because it used to happen when i'd live in new york and philly but have you ever been on the bus and like it's very cold outside and you just watch someone [ __ ] eat it like um on the ground like they just like slip on an icy patch and [ __ ] boom they go down and just everyone on the bus has this real moment of like camaraderie like yeah we saw that guy eat it together no oh well i i don't i don't live vicariously through horrible people's womb well yeah i mean like you want to help them but you're on a bus so you might as well enjoy it i would run right off that bus yeah i'd be like stop the boss stop laughing that man has underground his honor burger meister meister burger that's a horrible name yeah your mother well burgermeister is like the mayor of a town oh yeah and his name is meister burger i love it so i guess they were like i hope he doesn't come mayor yeah exactly that would be very embarrassing for us as a family what caused me to trip this he's broken his funny bone yeah yeah a toy his elbow seems fine i suspected i hate toys and toys hate me either they go or toys can't hate you they're yeah they're inadequate objects they're they're not real how do you think i earned this medal for being a dick bag wow look at that yeah the dungeon jesus christ dude i would i would go straight death sentence you wrote this game do you think definitely like a like a like a parent of some kind i don't want toys anymore haram chapter five yeah we've we've been playing this game for 10 minutes every level is a new chapter hey darling would you like a toy yay and just kick her off the roof at least you had good final hours and a close is coming to town you like a toy go get it [Music] so filled with love they all play with the toys in the same exact way well you can you couldn't expect the makers of this to animate two things man dude i love how you jump like super mario too it's very like you're like yeah yeah yeah like you're gonna bust some bricks yeah but instead you're just collecting incredibly sharp objects out of the sky okay would you like a toy timmy well it's too bad because i only got one toy left and it's going to jennifer [Laughter] just kidding you bastard i was getting a stupid break i hate your guts open the chest uh one yeah press one and shake oh geez shake it like you mean it oh snowflake shake it like you're trying i can't believe it yeah is that the only method of currency in this game yeah oh poor guy [Laughter] timmy all right buddy right over there you want you you want a toy ho now there's two over there they look good they look real good oh boy oh boy look at that look at that drain oh damn it no dang dude the spinning top got over ah gravity foiled me again yeah wow look at this smoothly gradle dreidel dreidel i made you out of clay and when you're dry and ready i'll throw you in the bed suck my dick all day hey okay who wants toys like some kind of creepy lounge act who wants toys nearly all of these shows yeah it's a classic he's just like running down the street like you look sad [Laughter] give him a toy just kidding oh yeah yeah [Applause] love this toy oh man you wanted a ship you're getting a drum [Laughter] cool ship it will be and you can make a song out of it with this drum cool ship you could have had if you could walk a little bit left but i want that flag too god damn bad that's my that's my [ __ ] [ __ ] my flag one in the morning congratulations you beat chapter six i guess so did a good job wow on to chapter 23. yep chapter 23 of this riveting i'm actually having a really good time are you ready of course i am oh who wouldn't who wouldn't be enjoying this if i was playing a hanukkah game i'd be pretty into it too yeah yeah of course gather the snowflakes little klaus [ __ ] eight crazy nights get the gems bentley bear do you still have your toys damn it god you gotta watch out for those puddles dude you just unleash a tirade of curses like the [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] the kids are crying christmas is ruined yeah santa claus isn't real i landed on the toys [Laughter] just kidding just kidding everybody gets a drum [ __ ] would you stop slipping on the [ __ ] ice you big doof sorry god i thought you were [ __ ] santa claus i was not santa claus that was pretty good actually we have fun here jimmy or is it timmy like looking around is anyone watching get it good boy yeah maybe how about you you got ups nope too bad i was a good duck toy hey why don't you come over here behind this barrel i got something for you just kidding have a goddamn drum why don't you keep the beat while you're on the beat oh [ __ ] keep the beat with your feet on the street before i [ __ ] slap you oh baby sparkly snow was my favorite mm-hmm what do you want little girl maybe oh i don't know one of these hey gay god they do get a little smaller when they grab them the the children no no the children shrink finally i wouldn't put it past my giant's ailment is is cured thanks to these toys of mine yes [ __ ] would you start looking out for the [ __ ] okay the only thing that can hurt you in this game and you're hitting every single one it's true it's true ah you're just gonna who wants the toy oh you're how you're gonna get it it's it's all the way up there you ever wonder how i pull these toys out of my magic bag when there is none never mind i grow weary of your [ __ ] wait oh i can something oh you can jiggle the tree oh [ __ ] tree you piece of [ __ ] for more snowflakes boy this game sucks i really like it but it's terrible give him a toy give him the [ __ ] toy what if i just saw a meander over oh give him the toy yay [Applause] i did it i did victory is mine i i gave toys to all the children everyone is happy all right well oh really yeah okay i mean i was having a super good time yeah where are you yeah wait oh let's just see do you think they're gonna you think they're gonna introduce a brand new mechanic that'll really rack your brain see this plot here's toys pick them up i weirdly don't talk oh yeah my robot bride and uh who are you [Laughter] well gee that's kind of a silly mom is that the same guy is he like 90 something it's weird danger from toys why that's the silliest thing i ever shut that [ __ ] xylophone up impractical she has no pupils no neither of them do what's that for you why it's what you would look like if you shut the [ __ ] up for a second maybe you should take a lesson from this doll but my parents wouldn't [Music] thank you watch out for that dolly oh damn [Laughter] what the [ __ ] is that penguin i know this is the weirdest oh man but they're gonna get romantic oh hell yeah they are oh i'm gonna have to play through another [ __ ] ten chapters to get to it though you like melt all the snow by [ __ ] oh [ __ ] did it it was my fault i gave them the toys i'm about to die this is my last roll on earth you'll never take me alive [Laughter] you ever [ __ ] seen one of these they can make dolls disappear in the blink of an eye you lay one [ __ ] hand on me i'll have your goddamn badge and a drum and a top empty your pockets clouds you got it that's it oh that bear landed very painfully on that you're going to learn the story of rudolph the red-nosed reindeer i feel like this one i know right he had a very shiny nose yeah and if you ever saw it like you'd think it's [ __ ] gross i know i know the the rhyme all of the other why would you not play as rudolph yeah select your select your rudolph prancer that's the character i want to play as i want shitty forest deer snowman before well now you got here just in time i know what you're asking where's my genitalia well you're just gonna have to go searching for it aren't you you just see a little like like a wee-wee line that's actually right under me yes you still should search though ah jesus is this better to say oh this is full of surprises oh oh oh oh my god it's a healthy tilt game oh are you serious i control it by wiggling this is not right look at that look at that gingerbread man who's just working it where on the left oh yeah he's like [ __ ] yeah i'm rolling down my body what do you mean go where am i supposed to touch ornaments oh oh no oh you got to keep it up in the air for a long time oh i guess i think you have to put it on the tree bounce it under the tree oh tree all right all right bouncing under the tree you [ __ ] [ __ ] god damn [ __ ] no wonder all the reindeer won't let you play in the reindeer games reindeer that's not what reindeer games are no that's it's literally in the song oh geez all of the other reindeer you still haven't called him names you're off the raid those reindeer wouldn't join in the reindeer game some [ __ ] like that i don't know gradually wait you're gonna put it in the sack now you gotta put it in the sack oh jesus christ thing [ __ ] that one in the sack yeah do it jesus this is hard as [ __ ] oh my god [ __ ] christmas what is up rudolph is a little incompetent piece of [ __ ] i could easily do this on my own yeah i could i could have just thrown it under the tree no yeah good job also into the sack i can't hear where i'm supposed to go you're supposed to put that on the tree oh i think you got to jump it up the ornament that is oh my god this is the hardest game i've ever played so that wasn't close enough it's got to be under under the tree isn't [ __ ] good enough for you yeah you got to jump that one up it's like telling you to jump it christmas is [ __ ] cancelled christmas is cancelled look at those other elves like sitting there like [ __ ] judging you and [ __ ] like come on just help you don't have hands boy people people watching this playthrough will never never know how hard this [ __ ] is it's pretty dang hard i mean i can just see you [ __ ] well you just just wildly swinging you gotta do it no you gotta do there's a [ __ ] time limit rudolph no it's almost december 26th ah the yeti just smashes out oh that's what i thought was gonna happen oh man and he's just like pathetic great job rudolph don't listen to him he can't count yes someone's a very special holiday kelper get it getting all the kelp from the sea uh good old kai score wow don't save that [ __ ] well select your character yes oh hey whoa oh my god and a hiker rudolph rindahl prancer a happy elf santa steve from the highway you have any peanuts yeah i see you've chosen the transient good choice yes roll him under me would you yeah he is he has a rap sheet all right well he's going to paint the toys i guess kill me okay okay up and down up and down okay okay just [ __ ] take it just take it what what you gotta throw the paint at the toys oh okay when they're lit up you gotta you just gotta do that oh this is so much easier so much easier dude are you sure yeah i can function i can function launch this ship functionally i can function launch this chassis all up on the heat wow this drifter is very good at doing manual labor these hands have done some [ __ ] kid don't even ask me to tell you about it i learned how to do this when i was tossing grenades and nam but i won't tell you that story boom and them i was an important sergeant i bet no one else here has killed a man raise your hand yeah nobody okay no i raised two because i've raised i've killed more than pathetic i don't have enough hands for how many people left that's how i got this tear tattoo on my face it's cause i killed a man in prison anyhow happy christmas christmas happy christmas [ __ ] uh they like shimmy's up next to the little elf little girl off on the right he's like what are you doing later frank what are you doing now hey just shoots a harpoon into it forget i was here yeah that's [ __ ] right that's [ __ ] right i'll dance dance like no one's watching oh that good old kai score 42 42 is pretty good yeah that was ours for his chi score do you want to try this y'all give it a shot you know what okay i feel like i feel like maybe a aaron jordan's the party i'm gonna be the course you're the girl i'm gonna be randolph hi remember me i'm the disturbing worm thing that [ __ ] just keeps coming and it begins now okay oh she is sexy look at that hip motion seriously i got a feeling it's cookie stuff what the [ __ ] is going on cookies can't do anything okay and then now i gotta roll it yeah roll it yep make that dough make it nice bam bam bam and bang that i'll make the [ __ ] cookie dude did you see her with the [ __ ] swipe like the [ __ ] out of my face yeah like if something else fell on there accidentally and then i swiped she'd just be like [ __ ] whatever going in the furnace get out of here making cookies making cookies [Music] i'm a jew i'm a jew stepping down what's on fire in the back the house jesus making cookies making cookies yeah an elf in the back is just like just keep making the coke we gotta reach the quota the house is on fire we gotta make the quota so what is this like [ __ ] like demon [ __ ] going on on the screen i know it's very weird all right yeah i'm just i'm literally not even i don't know if you're seeing what i'm doing right now oh i'm saying just i'm just not even [ __ ] cranking out those cookies it's totally working you've got you're doing great i'm literally just wiggling the wiimote however the [ __ ] yeah aaron is not not putting his heart and soul into this because it's like turning out okay it's like roll it back and forth now up and down yeah now swipe it to the left and the right that green [ __ ] weirds me out she's like and now to add the poison for all the little children in the world dude ah jesus christ use your giant feet to stamp out the fire what's a fire that's it i guess for this game no for free facebook oh please do not touch the power button or i'm gonna play as happy elf with maybe a nose just select your character nose character is one of those words that always looked wrong to me tractor yeah yeah definitely and tomorrow tomorrow oh yeah two r's one m but that [ __ ] took me like 25 years to learn tomorrow yeah i'll just say it out loud come on let's go to the moon folks up down up down this is how we make our clowns i don't [ __ ] know where that was going what the am i just doing this [ __ ] nope you're getting no points for this yeah you you gotta wait till you get over a house okay and [Music] huh do it it's like the shittiest game of paper boy ever that's what it is [Music] i still remember jesus christ [ __ ] man i'm [ __ ] gay [Music] meanwhile they have a roaring fire going on under the chimney [ __ ] presents just disintegrate mommy when's santa's present going like i'm sure any minute now it immediately goes into the fire and she watches the doll face like melt she watches the [ __ ] like xbox crackle i'm worthless yeah jimmy go up on the roof tonight [Laughter] santa's not doing a [ __ ] damn thing too do you like this song it's stone temple pilots yeah yeah where the dog will find her got time time to merry christmas [Music] oh god we're floating into space all right cool i did it you saved christmas look at reset look at the word research it's just like two fancy friends insane yeah well that was it that was it oh we did it oh dude i had a great time playing this game once again my love for christmas solidified definitely let's get this game over with santa's gotta go get some slash we wish you merry christmas we're playing more [ __ ] christmas games so stupid [Laughter] it's two in the morning we've been playing christmas games for hours [ __ ] this garbage let's do it oh look my santa mitten yeah it swings up and down when i do when i turn the women the guy on the left is like i love christmas you have to play this oh look at those teeth yeah [ __ ] take them ready wait what if it's what if what if the teeth is a closed smile and the below that's just a weird beard ew yeah changes everything doesn't it we're playing this ah we're playing today's date correct we're playing the yule no today is whatever days we upload this yeah today is christmas god what's your name that's all you buddy uh fraggle [Music] regular rock fragglerock there are only 17 days left until christmas don't forget to check the advent calendar to say and see if it's unlocked what we wish you merry christmas right now you're in the living room how did they know yeah jeez right now you're sitting on your couch playing this game oh my god they're psychic oh on the wooden chest of the christmas games they can be played alone or up to four players oh my god on the rug below are some fun activities they could by the way thanks james taylor yeah james really come on now thank you try writing a letter santa he might find hidden items in elf hunt like elves this is the place where you'll be burning your enemies after you defeat them yeah with the help of that [ __ ] freaky ass snowman this is where you'll keep all their blood samples yup all right let's play great let's do it i want to play uh jingle game deck the halls match three decorations to send them to santa's workshop good this should be fun that's what i wanted this is going to be so much fun do it do it go and play this game go bear bear yeah what the what bear is bear oh it's a drum drum bear goes with bear you like some [ __ ] kind of genie uh this drum goes with the drum that was a bear that was a bear what the [ __ ] are you doing yeah always being weird jesus whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa bear chill the [ __ ] out dude oh so it's tetris drum goes with drum drums except it's like super easy just like place it here tetris boom and the bears get lined up and they go bye-bye wow that's a very forgiving line that was pretty much an l block oh man it's getting [ __ ] hard now yeah watch out this is gonna go there how am i gonna make two drums touch the third drum with this open space i don't know dude it's pretty intense yes just [ __ ] up uh let's see oh you know what i can do oh yeah snowman right here yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] a snowness score oh oh [ __ ] actually it's getting a little dicey chill out get a little [ __ ] boom oh that was excellent did you see that [ __ ] yeah i saw it i'm a master you're you're like pretty much a god wow yeah you should determine whether people live or die all right you die god i'm tired i feel like i'm dying right now i would feel the same if i could feel promotion i'm sorry i thought we were having a merry christmas shut up shut your mouth shut your mouth about christmas don't have a merry christmas oh that's it don't say anything don't don't don't do it don't just talk to me don't just don't do it you blew it iron you couldn't [ __ ] have those presents all lined up instead you had to be a [ __ ] hero and they see that hero is that a hero comes along search beside you and be strong what god they played that a lot um and during high school it's hero by mariah carey and she has like a um she has a guy friend sing on it and he does that like you know that you hate yeah the [ __ ] i hate the mariah carey thing where you use sixteen thousand notes where like two will suffice then yeah all the girls go crazy three he's a dude singing is he a dude singing he sure is that a thing i guess it's the thing this is i gotta say the most riveting game of the century dude i honestly have my both my eyes open [Laughter] it'll have you on the middle of your seat with your arms firmly on the armrest perhaps enjoying a beverage that you purchased it'll have you begging for something else ticket pace for the whole seat and you'll use it [Laughter] all right i gotta line up these [ __ ] guys over here hey damn great job damn i'm afraid that i'm having too much fun yeah it's possible god damn i'm overloaded with you yeah [ __ ] line up those nutcrackers yo those crackers of nuts dude not cool that's what they are yeah is it yeah if you're gonna take exception to their nutcrackiness then you [ __ ] that crap you look better just you better take it up with management oh my god when does this end never when did i i have to go back to the list no don't go to the list i have to see the other games you can't play ten [ __ ] that minutes [ __ ] game beg to [ __ ] differ bounce the president of santa's bag using your trampoline and watch out for freezing nipkins icicles freezing nipkins yeah dude i get those when i wear a t-shirt out in the cold oh thank you looks like someone's got himself some freezer nipkins oh thanks freezy oh nice they're nipped thank you aim them into santa's tractor beam oh that's bad i don't want to get hit by that jesus oh got it did it [Laughter] great job ass uh can you take it down a notch did it i avoided what's that even going to look like on the capture that looks like it does you can see it all right take that [ __ ] out oh i missed madness you [ __ ] got it see that's all you have to do to win this game good job [ __ ] a little bit of elbow grease done i'm [ __ ] dbz'ing all over this [ __ ] look at that look at that got the present yeah got the [ __ ] snowflake didn't get the [ __ ] icicle yeah this is a [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh god no i need to rethink my strategy oh no please jesus santa save me whoop hold on hold on hold on golden snowflake got it oh thank god yeah can you believe it were these games all made by the same people i don't [ __ ] know they were sent by the same people yeah by people you mean james taylor james arnold taylor yeah i have seen fire and i see you go back to the living room just to you know see what else we can okay let's do it we got sled time it's christmas eve and sam needs your help delivering presents it's a winning night you need to collect the presents falling from the sky real original all right let's do it here we go whoa merry christmas new york whoa gather presents why are the presents in space is this seriously what this is yeah this is seriously what this is thank you lord satan for delivering me these presents [ __ ] what do i do no you that you got to chuck them you gotta chuck the presents that you collected how do i do that i don't know probably the same way we were doing it before right not enough presence delivered yeah like as in none all right i'll go back to the living room then great what's the reindeer another good game in the bank bounce on the floating presence to get as high as bear possible okay red presence will give you an extra boost oh [ __ ] yes fun dude eat the red pill i'm all over the [ __ ] oh god whoa whoa whoa whoa all right okay oh geez you're 118 meters in the air if you fall you'll die yeah that's what will happen this was a bad decision on your part oh there you go okay apparently [Music] i made it yeah oh it's just yeah high height how high yeah i want to get really high i [ __ ] me too bro dude like you don't even know light up that mary jane and let's get started first of all you have to stop calling mary jane that is the first rule of stoner people are gonna think you're a [ __ ] narc i've played that game before yeah snark it's pretty it's a mess dude look how many foot this game is awesome i'm getting high as [ __ ] dude bro you don't even [ __ ] know oh my god you don't even know do you even understand how many drugs i've consumed you are whoa there you go there you go oh yeah saved it save saved it [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] reindeer missile and by it i mean christmas [Laughter] i'm i'm going to die i'm yeah that's the end for me soon you will experience the sudden decompression of the thinner air what no no no no no no no no not my reindeer and a gentle landing for me it was wonderful man i did pretty well you unlocked a new ornament for the tree wow a piss-covered reindeer which tree do you speak of i don't know great doesn't it look more like semen when you go to the thing it sure does eric when you put it over it looks more like semen than it does ice yeah let's get some hot cocoa okay hot chocolate let's finish it off with some hot chocolate if it's not quite if the order's not quite right you can empty it i didn't read it but i'm sure i'll pick it up i'm so tired we want hot chocolate okay everybody does so take the chop [Music] yeah and now drink it no you gotta stir it mustard stir it and take this not this yeah you need i gotta empty it yeah god these people are pouring the moo moo cow goes to moo damn it you blew it this is the best game i've ever seen yeah you added too much chocolate you made it go from white to dark white too much too much you gotta listen to what your heart says about the hot chocolate one scoop yes two marshes one marsh two marshmallows drink like a chef winner it's hot as [ __ ] you sue the elves for not properly labeling the heat index yes i always have wanted to play outlaw golf and it didn't work the copy that we had didn't work but i just found out that it was the xbox that didn't work and actually had another xbox over in the corner ain't that some [ __ ] and this one totally works fine it's great so let's play it and there's a there just happened to be an outlaw golf christmas version yeah and there's a this is a blockbuster exclusive yeah oh my god you know it's xbox controllers i love it i love it it's so chunky sweet let's do it um so one thing i've oh geez we can only be killer miller and harley all right so be it wait there's other characters we have to available we have to unlock like 90 of the other characters well i'm gonna be harley for sure all right i guess i'm killer miller then oh no i don't want oh please so that oh oh yeah you are using the fat edna what about the club yeah i mean jeez or the cincinnati ooh the boilermaker the i like the atlas that one's nice that does look nice so do i really have to pick the set for all of them can i just pick a set oh jeez i don't know ooh that one's nice swa oo oh ecstasy god i'll leave that one for you yeah i like to i like to use the same brand of condoms and uh and clubs oh you can be harley 2 wow i do like her sweater oh look at these different versions yeah nice tights oh i don't know you could switch the versions that's cool yeah yeah i'll take i'll take this one this looks nice there's some pretty sick tights bro thank you for noticing and you're uh your caddy is just like a sickly old man yeah oh i don't have the ecstasies at my and my disposal only the balls i guess so oh okay yeah i'll use some ecstasy balls nice thanks um okay let's remember how to play this i have not played this in 10 years no damn it aaron memorize it okay jeez there's no way dude okay even if you studied it for like an hour or like the moment the screen's gone you're like i need help yeah you're right use the list so okay taking a picture with your phone i could have but it's a little late for that now oh thanks to someone what are you gonna do what are you gonna do i mean what are you gonna do in the spirit of christmas it kick you with the dick spin control huh oh there's lots of stuff you can do with this game really so that i don't know if i've ever said this on grumps or if i was just saving it for when this uh boy i forgot about the amazing load times of the xbox oh [ __ ] glorious damn it looked like she was like just holding her ass like super deliberately yep that was happening if the insanely challenging holes don't kill you you'll probably die of exposure that sounds like steve carell really doesn't it buy a polar bear first no welcome to glacier ridge now this sounds like some [ __ ] some voice actor okay fair man's like i'm going to barf [Music] so all i was going to say was um okay got it my my friends and i uh were playing this many many years ago and we noticed uh one of the characters ice tray uh he was like the the white rapper guy he looked an awful lot like our buddy from high school rich diamond and then uh one of us bought the game and looked in the booklet and sure god damn enough uh rich diamond was one of the 3d modelers on this game he modeled himself into the game i think that that's awesome freaking awesome wow way to go rich i'm i'm psyched at that thing you did uh 12 years ago all right so how do i [ __ ] swing now pull back the right's thumbstick to begin your backswing then push forward to swing and hit the ball okay that's it whoa that's weird dude it's it's a fun uh golf game holy crap yeah i like playing this a lot did i get where where is it where's the ball where'd the ball go oh here it comes it seems like weirdly wrong to be snowing oh i guess it's red so yeah yeah i was gonna say like if the ball is white yeah you're gonna lose that [ __ ] real quick where to go all right let me uh use my man muscles okay are we okay okay there we go all right so press b to switch like the camera mode so yeah just show where the ball oh yeah excellent and then you can zoom in and out with rnl the triggers oh right nice damn i [ __ ] nailed that [ __ ] you nailed it pretty hard goddamn well you're gonna nail it harder get ready what the hell your swing is like way longer than mine yeah because i'm a [ __ ] big ass dude and a sweater what the [ __ ] stupid sexist racist uh fascist fascist yeah oh look at that it's because you're a man i lost i lost a little bit of composure you got a little nervous yeah i'm a little nervous now i'm feeling naive waving right [Laughter] can you can you like curve it is that a thing you can do yes i can but oh this is going to be very rough it's like too clo like to uh i have to try to just bash this through the trees there's no way there's no way check it out and nope [ __ ] it you [ __ ] it no no i slid through whoa whoa unplayable oh all right i did [ __ ] it up i definitely [ __ ] it up what the hell was that oh does that affect how you swing wow yes it does actually you seem super upset hold on i'm gonna beat my caddy you're just you can do that in this game yeah that's how you gain like points to like beat the [ __ ] out of him all right you know what [ __ ] it all right you're catty yeah you just just wail on him how do you do that um i can't remember what is mulligan mulligan is like a do-over oh no it looks like you're gonna need that really aaron where'd you press it jesus christ you're getting pretty nervous i'm super freaked out right now do i get to swing yet are you just gonna [ __ ] not until yeah not until i'm ahead of you you're just gonna start with something finally just happened now uh oh jesus wow okay holy [ __ ] meow meow meow meow really all right well the wind is a back wind mhm so all right yeah oh beautiful that's actually looking really good you are right on target and nope nope off the fence into the drink and we're not talking about the 19th hole folks oh [ __ ] we're not talking about this oh you're super nervous bro is that like a joint composure no no right what about mulligan your attention oh don't don't mulligan i didn't mulligan what does i didn't want that ball you just do it again really yeah no penalty no penalty i was specifically not doing that because i thought it'd be douchey but here we are why wouldn't you do that uh for the reason i just said god damn it it's not douchey at all it's [ __ ] useful all right look at this [ __ ] watch this blink like right in the no no that's in the water well all right i won't do it this time okay we're going to play by the rules oh you're a rattle oh i'm super rattled straight rattled right now i know maybe it's safer to just like not go for the platform and just get a little closer that could be i don't think so though did it oh it's you all right is ready for action killer miller his parents thought he would turn into a serial murderer where is my it'd be oh yeah right okay oh great yeah you got the [ __ ] yeah i'm in the rough got the rough situation going on it's pretty rough it is rough all right oh i'm in the [ __ ] bunker do we even acknowledge that like this is a christmas episode oh yeah merry christmas everybody yeah oh look at that it's out of here baby nice nice light trail thank you you got some tron action going on with that one well you know what the [ __ ] what why oh i guess because like a good shot ugly i guess because it's my sixth shot of the thing well whatever we're just getting accustomed to the controls agreed agreed you ever watch the wind bro watch the wind um oh i'm looking right at it dude this is a tricky dicky move right here it is thank you for noticing super tricky dicky are you ready for this i'm not ready i think you're gonna fail it okay good here we go uh i don't know man i think i [ __ ] that up i think i [ __ ] that right up into the drink damn that splash sound is very satisfying i'm full-on rattled i'm full-on wait here's my chance at a mulligan oh yeah use it okay go ahead i use one you get to use one okay thank you this is [ __ ] we're both cheaters everyone's a cheater wait hold on uh is bowling a real thing yeah i in some golf games beating that's it okay why you're beating yeah you come here [ __ ] what it's hit a to start oh but what do i ha oh i didn't beat him well enough okay good oh it makes your composure better yeah yeah what the f what yeah what does the composure do it makes you shoot worse yes definitely that's bizarre it's super this is a weird game dude it's very i don't want to hit my my little santa claus elf guy his name is snake oh well then i'm definitely beating him yeah you know he's trouble is this gonna work is this gonna happen is this gonna happen please drop please drop yeah whoa we're putting baby dude nice well hopefully i can do it i gotta beat my guy yeah definitely wail on him a little bit what was the button for it uh why i believe fourth shot what oh you're right there i'm right here i'm gonna beat my guy anyway [Laughter] i'm not gonna miss this quality opportunity here we go bam bam ah no mercy i'm feeling smooth right yeah as you should be you just [ __ ] crushed the soul of your caddy i got my lara croft steez going on she does kind of look like lara croft um look at her butt man just like she's like the letter s that's crazy looking here we go yeah oops that's uh [Laughter] oh it tells you what power you need on the top yeah um i'm gonna mulligan that okay just because i didn't i didn't know what was going on i'm just figuring it out you know how it goes oh boy there you go 21 so that's like a little under there oh come on yeah so close no i'm not getting nervous i'm gonna beat the [ __ ] out of you catty oh really you might wanna go for a putter too well you're sort of in the rough i don't know is that like a oh [ __ ] oh geez you can't really tell exactly where it's gonna land all right maybe if you use the right stick like see the see the red dot yeah if you use the right stick to push it down yeah then like the ball will like have less bounce when it hits that for the ground for the first time oh like the bottom spin will make it die a little quicker okay yeah why am i helping you well because i don't know man i'm [ __ ] it's like our eighth golf game together man i nailed it there you go [ __ ] nailed that [ __ ] this okay killer miller just like a grid thing for this like are you using your thumb like you're doing a painting weird how do you what do you [ __ ] oh you only get three of those oh really oh [ __ ] okay i think that's about where you need to be yeah i think that's right here we go keller bella's gonna murder his his caddy 79. stab him in the butt oh man son of a dinkleheimer dude language yeah i know i know i really went off the rails on that one and i apologize okay how do i do that so x will give you a quick peek as to where it's going to go okay oh [ __ ] okay and you only get two more peaks nice that seems perfect to me i guess so um how do i just straight up oh uh a will bring it to putting mode okay you need 77 power to get it to where it was so you probably want a little more okay that's well well then i'm doing great right now because the yellow line didn't go into the the hole you know what i mean why again x x right this game is fun like once you kind of get the hang of it [ __ ] you [ __ ] golf game yeah i'm a little rattled yeah i'm a little rattled you know yeah my territory is threatened so i'll shake my booty [ __ ] two foot snowflake just bashed you in the head too shot eight they don't even have a name for that i hope you good god whoop i hope you i hope you knock my ball in there we go your ball's not in there it's just a chip to let you know where the thing is [ __ ] oh wow thank god plus plus three that's great what a great score what that garbage oh god okay easy killer miller why do you want to play as like serial murderers i don't know it's my only other option after you took the hot check yay okay we're all tied up after one 17-minute hole oh man it's okay things are just coming up bad for me you're fine like a thorny rose over here beautiful on top but down below if you get anywhere close to my my stem you're gonna get pricked you know what i'm saying i do i do know what you're saying okay okay nice nice shot good stuff good stuff i'll try i'll try to match that do it try to match your technique uh let's see that's not a great shot oh damn there's the there's the hole right there dude you're in great shape god you [ __ ] [ __ ] high speed right now oh wow i mean it says it's not gonna hit it oh what the [ __ ] what the hell i'm trying dude wow i don't know i'm [ __ ] trying this shit's [ __ ] what the hell dude oh i don't know it's like when i it's like it's like waking up and pissing after i jacked up streams going all over the place oh boy jesus come on with that do you ever see me myself and irene yes he's straight up straight into the wall oh man that is a funny movie i only ever saw that movie once and in theaters i wonder if it's still good and i think i like nope i think i was like on a date with a girl whoa well that's a good person to be on a date with i just wanted to elaborate someone's game people would oh [ __ ] i forgot i can beat my caddy you can i'm gonna beat the [ __ ] out of him [ __ ] him i don't know if you have um uh i don't know how many you get you whiz how many beatings you're allowed all right uh well first of all i'm just gonna go for it okay oh i can't yeah i don't have i don't have a beating right now you need a beating token yeah really i think you do a beating to what the hell dude [ __ ] man i've been shaking i haven't i've been pinching i i wonder if we're like holding the oh you're very rattled though that's probably part of what it is there's maybe that is it okay but you had your composure and you [ __ ] got the piss stream moved i sure did god damn it okay wait let's see here look at your [ __ ] full body tights i thank you for noticing you're just straight up wearing like underoos yeah you know yeah what about it like a like a 20s pajama set you know with the butt flap god damn it i hit the tree that's okay i guess you're farther than i am i feel like you and i should just actually go out to a golf course and play real golf yeah just whack a couple balls around and i feel like we'd probably play better than we do ah golf actual golf is really [ __ ] hard well this is really [ __ ] hard yeah we haven't quite gotten our mojo with this yet admittedly all right cool okay do it 72 percent and shank what the [ __ ] yo i don't know i'm super rattled right now you know that can't be helpful for one's golf game oh god this guy's got like the you don't know jack voice oh yeah do you like attitude cause i'm gonna pour it in your ear holes [Laughter] i'm like an inquisition mask of annoying sounds no stop god damn it oh man i'm in the semi rough for those of you who don't know what an inquisition mask is it's not cool you should look that [ __ ] up yeah you're not just imagine it on your face um okay do you want to drop here or the previous lie you have to drop your ball because it went into the whatever area what is the previous lie um like shoot it from where you shot before drop here are you sure yes yeah why wouldn't i be sure yeah the better place please wish you could cheat on the scorecard you know what i think that might be steve carell really it really sounds like him are you sure he's got that kind of gravelly oh boy oh boy i don't know man i guess i'm not used to him doing voices i'm just used to him doing this oh he's in the gutter well if maybe if the game would let me beat the [ __ ] out of my [ __ ] caddy once in a while look at you you're like christ please do this for me hold on let me i just want to beat my caddy all right you have to putt you got to putt while you're in the gutter oh god damn it that's not this it's hard ooh the pt it's the scariest of all clubs damn it okay i think there's another oh oh it's i see what's going on i'm gonna try that i think there's another button that will allow you to like this grid that will show you where it goes up and down that didn't get any worse people love it though you hear them cheering you actually made progress okay okay and it's more than enough for me to enjoy myself oh yeah i can okay you can put straight into that [ __ ] hole put into that hole smack that [ __ ] ball right into that hole okay just shove that ball all right i'll do it just back it in with your [ __ ] thumb really you get a straight shot really i it's not easy dude [ __ ] that noise yeah get in there yeah [ __ ] serious you actually got a word yeah what the hell that's right baby i want a word i'm evenly composed damn it i hate this well you get to [ __ ] just beat the [ __ ] out of your guy whenever you want i'm still mad me on the other hand snake [ __ ] left me like 30 days ago 30 days ago we've been golfing for six minutes of real time there we go that's what i want that's the one 27. good job baby oh damn plus four yeah that's like bonus material right there yeah that's what i got [ __ ] extra credit about she's a little upset good job uh but you know what she's she'll make it she'll make it out alive yeah i don't like the fact that it says stroke out like right like one above the other stroke out i prefer this does look cool especially with the little bird nesty things like oh boy is that where the oh [ __ ] the hole's right there yeah dude you're gonna get it right in the hole you know what i'm saying i would love to except talking about those sexual innuendos you know what i'm saying oh i'm with you bro double entendres [Applause] shame for shame god yeah your composure's [ __ ] do i still have my composure from last round yeah carrie's over oh my god oh dude i'm i'm in the gutter though i know and i can't beat the [ __ ] out of my guy i want to this is i've got some tude [ __ ] split right now oh geez you can get right there holy [ __ ] damn i didn't realize that all right well i'm gonna do it that'd be a good way to get your composure back yo but you [ __ ] it up god [ __ ] really got [ __ ] do i didn't mean to hook it oh it actually might i think you're right where i am i don't want to hook it though i have no urge i got to be doing something wrong really there's got to be something like maybe it's because you're at an angle from the tv and it's making you hold the joystick weird nah man nah [ __ ] i could [ __ ] i can create like a little path like a little two pieces of plastic between the joystick and so i can just flick it ooh just frick can i actually like flick it or do i have to hit it up can i just let go oh no you have to hit it up i think i don't know you can try the flick check this out whoa yes yes i'm just flipping gourd that's right baby that was a horrible shot skills to pay those bills horrible dude yeah it wasn't good damn wait so golfing stresses you out no matter what even if you make a good shot it's like always no no if you make a good shot then your composure gets better it's just that we got off to terrible starts so we're trying to dig our way out of it all right here we go oh that's a good one that's a good one oh goodness man damn baby girl [ __ ] my composure ain't going nowhere no oh geez i'd like to drop up here please uh the previous lie was that i was a account banker and uh well you know you know how that goes i work at starbucks not that there's anything wrong with that no i just don't make quite as much as i would as a isn't it dang it dang it stop stop stab it step stop going god [ __ ] darn it look at that you're feeling pretty stupid right now aren't you okay let's see here steve carrell did a lot of voices in uh there's the barbie birdman right yes how do you do the grid the grid is the white button i don't know what the name of it is it's just called the white button great it's the white button so this is perfectly flat so this should be yep right towards it it's not perfectly flat there's a little curve yeah i saw that so like there's a little naughty curve little dirty naughty curve so you have a you have like uh you have a bias for whatever sexual position you're right you've got a curve it curves up it's all about the missionary curves down it's all about the doggy style oh yeah i curve up oh there you go i curve down do you really yeah huh my dick is too big for the weight of itself to handle so if our dicks were to touch for instance i don't know like off the top that's weird it's not weird at all i love it yeah in fact it's the symbol for harmony i'd be in harmony i got a word that wasn't red bravo hey dan what's going on dude just as i'm taking a sip of water yeah i'm good i'm good lemon welcome to that's bill first of all whoops i'm loving what are you doing he's just some kind of stupid stupid man i'm sorry i'm very familiar with your work and i love it you don't understand anything about the work that i do have you even seen lemonade it's delicious it kind of has its heart and taste to it hey aaron are you using that club i know i would all right yeah yeah that was this is the spirit of giving with christmas a hundred percent wait a minute all right did you mean boom nailed wow god damn it why do you always veer okay i was just gonna say but you swung anyway you had the you moved the red dot with your other stick i did did you notice that no yeah it wasn't dead on see how the red dots dead on if you push the right stick see now it's over here oh so i think you're just hitting that other stick yeah yeah oops do you want a mulligan oh it's too late now ah [ __ ] it why am i helping you [ __ ] [ __ ] you yeah yeah this game grubs versus god damn you look at how perfectly uh striped that uh that ground is it looks great i'd love to lay on it and roll around i'd get a lot of momentum going because i'm a lemon and i'm round and safe oh boy that sounds pretty fun i wish i could do that well actually you would because you're a cylinder shape and you'll actually be more prone to rolling around you are out of control right now maybe i don't know i never tried it maybe maybe i should try you know i should try wow you're right i i am [ __ ] around with the [ __ ] you're hitting it with your big fat hand is that what's happening whoa dude no i'm not saying you're fat i'm just saying you got kind of a chunky hand looking hurtful carrying a little extra hand weight wow super hurtful okay i'm sorry no it's fine it just shows your true feelings you can wipe away your tears with that fat hands aaron buddy if i can even call you that anymore yeah yeah things are getting a little [ __ ] heated in here that feels like a sauna [Laughter] about to squeeze the life out of your neck with my chunky hands i have only been losing weight these past months yeah no you you look great dude [ __ ] you thank you okay buddy ship returned you you know you look beautiful oh that's so nice of you to say it's true i'm trying to get to 190. 190. goddamn but i'm at 210 right now god damn it it i was 180 when i moved here and i was super i was wearing size small shirts that's how [ __ ] skinny it was is that right yeah cheaper crappers i know it's crazy do you think jeepers creepers could ever be like fully changed to japper's crappers because if it can i'd like to be the person to spearhead i think it's up to you okay to make that change okay like the man in the mirror i'm still curving a little bit it's still curving i i'm not even touching the [ __ ] that really might be because you're in the gutter killer miller i don't care about killer miller bro okay he hasn't killed anybody yeah yet only real murderers get that title the [ __ ] did you did you 100 100 well i came close enough i guess whoa yeah that's right take out the lightsaber trail baby damn yo is that a star wars brand deal yeah yeah actually for the release of the new film star wars the force awakens hey have you heard that's coming out no actually is it yeah i know it's it's hard it's hard to imagine and i know nobody's talking about it nobody's talking no corporate products have been branded that's true to be in like like natural oranges that grow on trees have been branded as bb-8 the robot from star wars goddammit that hasn't happened at all is that right yeah that is currently the most the most asinine that i've seen so far oh boy this is the [ __ ] bb-8 oranges the bb-8 oranges they're [ __ ] oranges in a little net you buy at a grocery store and it's like check out these bb-8 oranges it's like really i have not seen that [ __ ] you made my oranges 50 50 cents more expensive so you can put a picture of [ __ ] bb-8 on it because you think nobody's going to see star wars everyone's going to see star wars yeah literally everybody you could just be like star wars is coming out and people be like all right and they'd see it that's it you don't have to be like storm trooper tampons i just noticed whoa you never think of thank you weird creepy faceless elves god they're creepy like one of them's like you i mean you could i mean you touch it one of them's like i kind of have a mouth give it a little kick all right 31 okay i mean that'll that'll [ __ ] do it right that'll do it so i'm gonna do it fifty percent boom yes god [ __ ] oh jesus whoa oh get out of the way holy [ __ ] they really ran out of lives oh my god are you okay wow intense intensity i'm just going to give it to you bro i'm you know ex going to give it to you there oh there you go nice pretty good first we're going to rock then we're going to roll i didn't i didn't think that song was real until i heard it on the radio oh yeah oh it's real oh i guess it's real x gonna give it to you what don't give it to you boy damn that's risky business right there it's a risky biz new oh boy nice straight in straight the [ __ ] in dude okay just go for it thirty percent thirty percent uh yeah yay boogie if i want to feel him potent i gotta look impotent okay oh gee whiz ah you gave me the wrong sandwich dude all that does all that guy does is get choked for a living it is crazy time there you go here we are why did you have like a stanky leg when she's because a lot of people get this really come on really what is gimme that just wow jimmy you took the game yeah why not i won't hurt you it's pretty okay that was some top-notch voice acting i'm angry all right here we go i expressed anger through my actions i was loading dan oh i'm sorry give me the [ __ ] don't don't give me the [ __ ] wrap it up finger no no i was like i thought it was you that was like the hand oh never mind not bra what am i ross oh dude we do have to give ross the wrap it up finger one of my press press two ross oh boy ross press two o'donovan i got a beating token what i'm gonna use it immediately that's not fair yes i want a beating token you'll get one in time boom [ __ ] really i guess it was like the early 2000s oh i got some good beating in there wow now it's smoking now i'm smoking dude all right i figured a [ __ ] glacier cliff was a good time to uh get my skills up yeah but probably a little bit okay okay i want this to die in the woodsy area okay dude this is [ __ ] you could you could one hole in one this yeah i'm about to ready one two three check this [ __ ] whoa right and it is [ __ ] gone and wrong wow that was some [ __ ] bounce well really there goes my smoke [ __ ] really yeah jesus this takes one baby that's not fair okay then oh yeah please yeah oh [ __ ] this up i don't know about anybody no i don't know gee whiz [ __ ] it up [ __ ] it up [ __ ] it up [ __ ] it up [ __ ] it up it's it's actually kind of hard that's a little difficult you don't like it oh oh jesus you say you don't like it on top i really i actually broke that dude's arm yeah he's going to be handing you uh clubs with his good arm now first we're gonna rock then we're gonna roll play it a little safer damn yeah swacked that bump whacked the [ __ ] out of it like what the [ __ ] man join me won't you i [ __ ] undershot the [ __ ] out of that oh cool it's it is better than rattled i will be enjoying a little sand that feels like a waste almost it does um it is oh it totally is when you [ __ ] flick the stick around what do you mean it's uh oh god oh wow i could i could kind of feel that it um because i aim the stick weird oh all right yeah you actually do have to aim it straight oh you definitely does son okay let's get this right wow that's interesting man that ball is juicy god [ __ ] damage that ball they do jesus christ no no i have no idea who has the advantage right now we're just both garbagey we're all gonna laugh at you no no okay feels like we're kind of starting from scratch here 76 percent since scratches 76. strom bones led the big parade something something this is going right back in the [ __ ] bunker god dang it oh okay no that's okay that was actually pretty good yeah i've seen worse that [ __ ] was rated pg third shot pretty good puss giveaway oh wait i could put this can i yeah sure oh hell yeah you gotta give it like a little extra juice because you're in you're not quite on the green cool all right do it biz north a little extra juice [ __ ] how did that even really uh mulligan no damn it did i use it oh i guess i guess we're out of mulligans at the moment now i used it oh you [ __ ] oh no i didn't no did i yeah you did all right sweet it's not sweet and everything's awesome mulligan's the best look at that perfect oh god so lame dude this is great great for me yeah all right i'm gonna try not to use mulligans because i'm not a nutter butter dirty line cutter oh wow [ __ ] yeah i'm so proud of you yeah smooth oh man i'm feeling [ __ ] juiced it's so bland it doesn't even matter how high your meter is on the other side you're always going to go back to even if you fail that's true actually so what the [ __ ] okay he's lining up this pot to drop it in for a resounding bow a resounding bone oh nice thank you let's do it oh man that was a perfect shot god you are creeping up on me though um i'm always creeping up on you oh that's nice whenever i see you in a room and you don't know i'm there i'm like keep that brontosaurus away from me oh god we're at the six oh god it's happening it's the whole six everybody yeah that's uh two-thirds of the way through this is the two two third mark two thirty the famous two-thirds uh okay here we go do it power time dirty [ __ ] don't [ __ ] veer wow you stupid [ __ ] idiot don't beer maybe maybe look directly at your hand yeah but then i can't see the thing oh i see maybe yeah maybe i can line it up with the tv yeah i think that might be a scene with one eye because you're slightly askance is that a word i don't know a scam um slightly us blue let's get this right in the middle here and just to bam it just a little shtabam whoa hello happy fourth of july [ __ ] get stains nice nice nice nice nice nice nighttime that was a good shot for an idiot dumbass thank you you're welcome it's where you start saying thank you too early and you're just like thank you [Laughter] thank god yeah i didn't take that as a compliment that helped my composter oh oh it actually went down yeah i mean up or whatever i don't [ __ ] know something harley is ready to go is she yeah yeah i like those early 2000 like clearly cut and pasted together voice things like harley is ready to go oh yeah yeah super straight yeah but i [ __ ] up the power because i was focusing on the [ __ ] lining it up you'd think after playing like years of guitar man i'd be way better at it like perfectly getting my joystick [ __ ] right let's just well you've we're we've got three more holes for you to master this [ __ ] oh boy oh boy oh dear you've got three more holes to master this [ __ ] boy this is a big freaking hole too after that we're going to have to clean up [Music] [Music] what is this color scheme it's like nickelodeon or something this guy like blanca from street fighter oh yeah because it's the rng red yeah it's like very nickelodeon boom baby now that ball just got its belt wrong did you hear that did it he said it that ball hey dude this is the first time i've kept two things on the fairway two shots in a row wow nice yeah we're only 84 yards to the hole improvement is being had does that mean i go now it you're on that fairway too girl good god the [ __ ] xbox oh yeah the loading time is great it sure is ooh oh you can get there should i go for it might as well yeah all right you just gotta [ __ ] wail it really hard all right here we go oh no no no it's pretty cool [Laughter] it's just like they didn't bother to like fully map it out oh boy okay let me bring this down five mile per hour winds yeah pretty strong pretty strong not good then we'll get to this the the the malt shop oh i don't know about this i don't know about this goo whoa what the [ __ ] dude damn slun wow this is uh definitely my best round of golf in any video golf game in quite some time i love golf golf video golf is refused yeah nothing beats kirby's dreamland but this is this is quite enjoyable it's curry's dream course first of all right second of all like i said nothing beats kirby's dreamland because it doesn't exist oh boy that's awkward i'd even get out of that yeah i am screwing myself with this [ __ ] button there we go um all right hey hey hi how are you this one out hey there yeah hello there this little uh yeah yeah yeah that's the one yeah yep maybe maybe oh man i thought i plucked that [ __ ] right in just that'd been awesome that's the sound it makes it's not looking good out there folks not looking good out there oops what look i'm not a great golfer oh no no no no no like i was just saying it's your turn again no i wasn't like and you think i'm gonna let this [ __ ] affect our friendship like you think in any way my opinion of you rests on how badly i'm [ __ ] thrashing you at outlaw golf christmas edition ho ho hole in one [Laughter] honestly you know a little bit oh a little bit baby i saw you laugh you can't uh whoa oh that's in you you lipped that one plus three baby that's three better than it's three more than you yeah i got unrattled a little bit i was once rattled and now i'm still rattled but not as much so oh my god is this actually a birdie am i actually going for a birdie are you [ __ ] serious no it's park god damn it at least that's like the first time you got parsley it will well let's not count my chickens before they're forged well wow nice i just want one [ __ ] birdie one goddamn birdie in my life that guy's like i'm not getting the shipping oh god yeah wow my first par what a disgraceful round of golf this has been man blockbuster really hit the nose on the head with this they did hit the nail on the nose yeah or the nose head we're here at the seventh we're here at the seven where hayley and mr miller what what was that douche bag on that truck i don't know i saw that too it was weird right it was a little weird cool was it killer miller let's see what happens giving off his killer miller moves oh baby dude holy [ __ ] oh oof god if only i had the flexibility to suck my own dick you can change that yeah really get that rib removal surgery do you remember that rumor that marilyn manson had that he got like his ribs surgically removed so he could blow himself god damn it first of all who the [ __ ] wouldn't and second of all why would anyone believe that i don't know whoa well like seriously like that's kind of that's a pretty genius idea right like if you can suck your own dick you never need anybody else to suck you off that's like that's exactly right that's like whenever somebody's like oh man i got a hand job today it's like so bfd baby so did i every day of my life it just [ __ ] happens isn't that weird like we consider ourselves straight males and yet we've touched way more dick than any other type of genitalia that's true huh it's cool super duper true i can't make it through here no i gotta make it to this play cool hot chocolate spot right here no biggie i think that's really part of what this game is about just like the patience of like just playing it cool yeah just whoa whoa you snuck it right through the bridge i think yeah i don't [ __ ] around dude you do not you most certainly do not i don't [ __ ] the [ __ ] around oh what do i mean yeah i gotta do that too yeah oh oh whoa where am i like in the restroom of the whoa oh no oh god i am lost i am lost it's a nice lodge a decent law where am i it's it's a little a little tricky god damn it i'm so lost how do i reset this ah california stop know how to party jesus is so scary okay there we go [Applause] there we go thank you for noticing the ball just got tko nice oh look at us being friends nice on look at our balls together balls are touching balls attaching a little bit and nice nice ooh [ __ ] nice nice ooh all right check this [ __ ] out okay this is what's happening [ __ ] give it to me yeah oh dude i feel like we're starting to get the hang of this yeah yeah baby nice on give me some of that [ __ ] green it only took us four [ __ ] days yes i'm slightly less rattled mm-hmm oh i saw it yes you're not gonna be rattled with [ __ ] skills like that i don't think so i really don't think so [Music] yeah just really work it just work it i'm gonna i'm gonna work it touch those arrows just get those arrows touching all over the place really slamming down the earth now okay let's see what happens when i hit this hundred percent oh no not strong enough that's gonna yeah oh man oh my god did i make a better shot than you you did you did i saw it i'm so [ __ ] excited fourth shot but i do fully intend on making up for it right are we plus eight how are we plus eight about now plus eight is bad ah i know how are we plus eight oh because we're terrible but we didn't screw up this level that bad oh we did we did we oh yeah you had a plus four on one one hole alone no on this oh that's just that's total yes i thought that was for this whole oh no that was like how do we get [ __ ] we got many yeah pretty impressive to get a plus eight on four shots oh see it goes downhill a little bit [Laughter] like you look at grandpa talking to your grandkid about [ __ ] that the gr he's like playing his game boy advance and you're just like [Music] around my garden muttering to myself uh-huh sure oh whoa damn it oh my god yeah i told you it goes downhill a little bit so it really catches you [ __ ] blew it what are you doing you big piece of [ __ ] you're a piece of [ __ ] that's what you are a piece of [ __ ] okay just like not a piece of [ __ ] oh that's close very close does it not sound like california lovin oh it definitely does there's just one part where it's like get in the [ __ ] hole holy [ __ ] that's right it's a blogi oh man i got one of those yesterday lucky it was awesome jealous it was sub par uh-huh get it wait that's not good blo [Music] [Applause] look at the sparkles holy [ __ ] they really celebrate that [ __ ] and you got a beating tongue oh yeah come on come on up top that is very impressive whenever i see whenever i see fan art of you and your wife yeah i'm like i'm like yes [Laughter] sweet oh damn whoa we got two more holes left yeah here we are at the eighth the shortest hole there is just butt it's an only putting don't take out your other stuff that would be [ __ ] up it's a par 12. all right um take a look jesus has some weird brutal stuff in it i'll just only know what i'll just do it whatever here we go you might want to uh use your beating token don't need a beating token when i'm on fire that's true oh you dropped it in nice nice boy it really feels good when you do [ __ ] correctly in this game yeah it's probably how it feels in real golf too yeah i would not know but you can't like see it that's that's the thing that bugs me about i mean i've never played golf but i feel like hypothetically i feel like if you played golf and you made a really nice shot it just disappears and you're like i guess well i guess we'll see yeah it's true yeah that is weird actually because you always see the golfers like throwing their clubs down in anger but like it just sails off into the distance so how would they even know well maybe it sails towards a shark's mouth and then the shark goes um delicious golf ball and then swipes off into the ocean and then it's like ah man clearly they golf eight to thousand what the [ __ ] man man you [ __ ] up garbage it's garbage oh i really want to beat on my caddy right now i'm a little nervous right now shush hush hush your sweet gorgeous face damn stop jesus all right here we go feel like a natural woman yay what did you say about a sledgehammer i want to be he sounded like charlie day for a second yeah it did it just sounds like a sledgehammer boy i just cannot stop hitting into the rough oh and i love i don't need to see the replay thank you i know what it looks like to blow it oh xbox you're really thinking i gotta say i love damn always sonny yeah oh it's a great great show i really love it if you can sneak it in there yep i'm gonna do it look at that top spin you're putting on it yeah all purposeful okay [Music] wow yes four yards to the hood someone's golf game's taking a turn for the better yeah that's right [ __ ] oh it's just in somebody's golf game i mean you got to do what you got to do whoa yeah the golf ball goes in the hole and saying play the game okay let's see what happens here if i give it a little of the smoosh [Music] nice little smudge yeah dude yeah okay our golf game has significantly improved at the very end of our yeah it is getting ever so slightly better wow look at that yeah it's uphill is it uphill it's downhill right oh yeah so you got to give it a little bit of extra mustard a little extra spicy goldens just whoa oh baby whoa very nice very freaking nice but i think you've got uh you got another birdie in the bar yeah i think you got a birdie got a little birdie barley not part [Applause] it are you [ __ ] kidding me dude come on oh goodness there we go aaron hansen lines up the shot and he [ __ ] it up just kidding it was amazing look at that [ __ ] birdie wow you know what i mean oh i know it good job dude all right whoa this is it this is for all the horribles oh yeah i think you're beating me right i'm i'm up three shots but you've been you've birdied the last two holes damn so you've been gaining ground well you know what they say about gaining ground um i don't know what that do they say yeah you end up really dirty oh that's true actually do it [ __ ] nice lodge in the distance i know pretty sweet log every time i see a lodge i'm like oh i want to go there yeah chocolate by the fire oh yeah dude dude we should go to like a [ __ ] ski lodge and just like chill and i would like hot cocoa and not ski oh that sounds awesome it really does keeping is terrifying i'm really scared of it i love it i don't ever want to do that oh it's good it's a good time i would snowboard but the lodge is better snowboard looks like fun snowboarding is hard it looks like a [ __ ] video game you'll spend a day on your ass for sure skiing has just the right amount of torn acl and fear that i want whoa whoa did one elf go down what happened there oh no my nervous meter i'm at a helicopter high above the play field boom i just killed a bird by running into it i'm also driving the helicopter i am drunk yeah i'm not supposed to be here i killed the other announcer nice okay it looks like i'm up to bat what whoa no i'm still closer closer oh but look at this you ready for a little thing known as the holland that's not happening really i mean dude if it happens i will give you full commendation here come the props time to go to the prop bank and make a withdrawal baby for me that is going in the water that is in the water for sure oh no exactly where you wanted it to i guess so aside from yeah in the hole except for where you want it to go i'm a little elf man short and stout here is my handle here's some trout challenging shot from the sand from the sand where i'm telling you what right now where the [ __ ] is the hole that is an excellent question i think it's beyond that it's where all the elves are standing what the [ __ ] i can't do anything try to um really come on oh man try to change your club no like it's just i can't maybe mine iron yeah some clubs will like wail it farther if i nope i'm [ __ ] what is that three right there three in the top left oh i have three super balls three santas i don't know what those are i guess i'll just do this [ __ ] oh yeah because you're in a sand trap okay is that where the hole is would you shut your [ __ ] mouth oh boy right all right how about [ __ ] you all right how about [ __ ] you you stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] you've got a beating token still steve carrell won you want to take a mulligan take a mulligan oh i was too late um wait what the [ __ ] now i'm perfect yeah you're exactly where i want to be oh sweet i'll use my beating yeah yeah get your get your swag up it's not like i'm gonna beat your score you're [ __ ] right there wait how fun is this oh nasty you got the whole beating in there get the full nasty beating oh god oh and kick him in the face i'm in the zone you're in the zone baby get in the zone it's a different zone than i think they were just talking about but it's fine all right ah [ __ ] eight mile an hour wind to the right [ __ ] [ __ ] all right all right that seems like the spot yeah wait maybe i can oh yeah dude come on really these are nine iron maybe that's saying you have two beating tokens because it went down to two oh oh sweet nice [ __ ] yeah that's a lot of ass whooping you can administer nice come on come on come on come on oh oh come on really it's not too bad [ __ ] you it's too great too rad too [Music] my first hopeful birdie [Music] oh yeah you [ __ ] nailed it i hope so that's it okay that's all you need did it nailed it oh scrub the birdie i'm not taking the gimme oh man dang it okay what does it give me you just don't putt and it's like it just gives it to you it's just as if you got it in oh really oh yeah that's dumb yeah this game really gives you a lot of shortcuts i didn't even know that was a thing is that a thing in real golf i guess for in a gentleman's game did you [ __ ] [ __ ] get out get it off your ass girl start putting some [ __ ] that sounds weird but whatever don't judge me whoa whoa didn't even know that was a possibility so ken is it called a pin i think so it was just called a flag plus three that's how good you are three extra points i need a cold one oh so edgy it's so edgy oh man all right that's all we could get away with to play this just right this game's rated m for mature okay let's see okay it's just sexual innuendos mentions of alcohol okay let's see here also talk about tobacco let's see that's something that we could do it's pretty close okay you have to place just right come on baby what the [ __ ] did you just do i [ __ ] hit it too short god damn it all right let's try that again are you really gonna bogey this no maybe i kept like wiping the sweat off god [ __ ] dead whoa dude oh i'm rattled that's why i just like walk over and give you a beating token and your caddy's like oh man she's yay dude you did it you got a double bogey i double bow gade that's two words mm-hmm yeah no it's your turn we did it we successfully danny wins yeah done nicely thank you nicely done to you too we are horrible golfers yeah i managed to never get a birdie and still come out on top scooby-doo beep greetings to you what it looks like it looks like coin oily coinoli yeah it's coin only storm you've never been caught in a coin only storm welcome to the [ __ ] disgusting welcome to jingle grumps christmas adventure candy storm greetings to you what i did that's what i said i was like i don't understand i think our name is what oh i don't [ __ ] know cool did they play this song did they play this on the show [ __ ] it i don't [ __ ] know yeah if they did they're well we're about to show them how it's done um all the toys to the boys and girls dropping off the thing would you like to view the tutorial sure yes please you'll meet some characters in the game that will tell or give you something click the spirit to trigger the dialogue uh close the dialog warning for that [Music] hello i'm scepter a good spirit your car has been changed due to the witchcraft of three old sisters go to the house knock on the door and they'll open it there's a lot of demands for [ __ ] i don't know who you are yeah man aside from scepter or good spirit not gonna ding dong ditch these witches you don't wanna you don't want to ding-dong ditch the witch yeah pay attention to the game cursor you make ch whatever so much information take a branch can i get a few more things on this screen if your cursor has changed to the gears this means that you might you can apply an object here in this case retrieve the round handle from the water using the drive branch yes the one ring from lord of the rings has been handled and made part of this damn i'm not gonna pull it out okay so i'll pour beaver and then i'll grab it this is the game this is the game congratulations you required a useful item i'll be the judge of that hey girl are you a beaver cause damn all right uh and now move the handle from the inventory oh my god that's it's what is it made of rubber jesus what the [ __ ] it's made of paper it's not simple as i thought when you see sparkles around an area that means a hidden object scene has been activated all right but wait there's 40 more things we need to show you the key objective is to find all 12 items there's 45 items here we have to take a test on this yes you get rewarded only after you find all the items all right this is like the first day of algebra class the letter n whoa it's there on the right that's not christmas spirits it's a block done i found it all right now that that's gone forever a sock i could just like do this yeah it's where the sock is i'm doing it oh no you're [ __ ] up you're [ __ ] up you're [ __ ] up oh is that like the bad yeah what about the dog [ __ ] sock [ __ ] sock yeah [ __ ] sock find the [ __ ] well i guess i need some [ __ ] why did it exit out hey that wasn't the [ __ ] sock dude there's a sock right here thank you yes now put your [ __ ] in it gold pine cone i think they met the rooster when they said [ __ ] up on the red thing is there a [ __ ] yeah right there there we go boom wow dude you could spot that [ __ ] 40 miles away could have just said rooster don't know why they had to make it weird glove lemon scarf lemon lemon hat that guy's wearing a hat too so that's not fair yeah it's [ __ ] up shovel shovel shovel in the middle there it is yes no that's the rake the shovel that yes god yes candy like this bow because there's an arrow up there yeah i was looking for a bow congratulations and then beau bridges comes in he's like hi i'm tv's bo bridges i want to talk to you about this shitty game called the i don't even know the candy adventure of the storm all right great i've acquired a useful item there's a task list in the bottom left corner of the screen what an amazing game if you've forgotten don't [ __ ] pander dude why can't i just speak truthfully from the heart find a way to open the door kick it mr wrench oh for [ __ ] sake yeah dude one of these oh my god you can do this if you're mad enough part of the mosaic lock is missing yeah cause that's how you move it okay fine i'll find the other one what do you want i can't help you offer you oh my god what what do i do all right great talk to that green toothed bird monster up in the corner where oh he's holding oh he's got the thing i need yeah the crow has something in his beak i'm gonna strangle it with this necklace to give me the answer oh cool that actually works okay neat thanks for that now it's time to go here put in the mosaic part perfect now it's obvious it's the best oh no no yes this isn't right yes no yes this isn't right you got it you gotta get santa's [ __ ] corny ass head this isn't all the way up there dude oh this isn't right at all this isn't right this could take some time no this isn't right at all i don't i don't like this i don't i don't like this this is bad yeah this is how does this how am i gonna you wanna get all the feet on the bottom oh [ __ ] there you go and then and then it's bulbous bouffant yes but then i i can't it's not in the right order i gotta i gotta reorder it so this and then there and then there but didn't i just do that it was literally what i just did so i got to reorder this is that how santa's supposed to look maybe this is really short hold on all right i did it i did it i did it did you there we go i did well i did the bottom first oh and now that yeah and now i just got to do the top okay oh no [ __ ] i oh [ __ ] i [ __ ] it up you sure did son of a [ __ ] wait is that the [ __ ] uh okay okay okay okay don't panic [Laughter] break it out okay i almost got it oh [ __ ] i think i got it oh my god i'm so close holy [ __ ] is that it did i do it how did i do it ring the bell baby ring that [ __ ] bell what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] with me i just did it it's got to be frosty on the left see how the bells are colored oh yeah there you go i did it hey thank you i've been trapped for centuries gained curiosity as to what the [ __ ] this old lady's doing oh my god get out of my house you curious bastard why do you think i made such a complicated lock oh my dear it's all a mistake that has turned your car into candy but don't worry we can fix it but we need your help turned your car into candy here's my son who wears the skin of his father wow i've lost my glasses somewhere around here could you please help me find my glasses please all right god clearly not of the right mind right now oh it's a special hidden spot oh i gotta find all this [ __ ] again um okay okay um spider [Laughter] mapley um maple leaf aaron mapley mouse thimble thimble center down i see [Laughter] my lost marbles yeah well you're gonna have a hard time finding those crippling depression ring uh where the the right drawer no what kind of shitty i don't know it looked like a ring yeah but darling you've been my wife for 30 years here's your anniversary nut [Laughter] where's the pear there's there's the pear where's the fish who's got a fish in their box give me that fish right there to the left of where you are right now slightly out it didn't look like a fish it looks like a fish it did not look like a fish okay it was pretty fishy what okay they weren't even there though they are now all right well i gotta grab them and give them to her [Laughter] start shooting lasers out of her eyes you shouldn't have unlocked the power [Laughter] help me dear a little kid wishes that the birds don't freeze in the winter and i have to make sweaters for them oh my god make me three rolls of yarns please blue yellow and red knitting needles whipping three buttons and a lace jesus christ sweaters are nicer than anything like i've ever owned what um what mind the piss stain she's just talking to me she's like help me dear a little kid [Laughter] go on oh my [ __ ] god uh all right all right ah [ __ ] god damn it there's another stain it's necessary to clean this dirt with something um yeah brush it off with the urine from the floor [Laughter] uh how do i get okay okay very neat uh let's go to the drawer where's the drawer is that that i mean is that what that is that is a drawer find the yellow of yarn oh in the drawer yeah baby that's what you like daddy likes that oh porridge bird's eyes okay here you go here you go little bird all right well next time on game are you serious you want to keep playing this i think i do too okay okay there's no time for making tea and mixing sugar with the spoon yeah not with a deadly tarantula on the loose no it's a domestic kind spike oh okay yeah wow i could grind something yeah grind that spider up let me ground the grind in the mix spider paste but it's a domestic kind spider oh okay uh okay the tiny house is closed but it looks like it's missing something like i could cut any pet if you use your imagination this is i this is madness dude let her have some rest she's had a long day of using chopsticks i had a long life yeah let it rest please for the love of god uh should i take this like what can i take i don't know why the chinese have to come into my house and leave cotton candy on my stairs no no i don't think that was the chinese better okay very nice it's a sponge okay oh there's probably i can it doesn't fit here yeah it does it's not supposed to fit i'll try okay a sponge fits on any surface that's flat let me what about this there we go there you go oh [ __ ] it's mother's day look at the time grandma's 85. it's necessary to hook the glass with something thin what the [ __ ] are you talking i don't know the door is closed but there's a cone-shaped slot there the pine cone this is a nightmare i [ __ ] love this game you're kidding me okay find the sewing jesus whoa look at all your side quests see the birds where are the birds find the blue ball yeah i'll show you where two of them are [Laughter] don't say that around granny dude oh sorry okay why you think your kids invented something i sucked a dick in my day i love a lot of this game's passive aggressive one part is obviously missing here yeah yeah thanks yeah i wonder if it looks like a bird [ __ ] i wasn't unsure about it merry christmas wait where's the what's the lion can i have that please oh yeah you need the blue ball of yarn oh you need to distract it with something how about it looks pretty [ __ ] distracted already what's that stain on the ceiling she really likes to spill things in weird places maybe the fish um well the birds the birds oh there you go clockwork mouse oh god damn it mouse won't work without a clockwork key so you need the clockwork key to work the mouse to give to the cat to get the yarn to give to granny part of the snowflake ouch the black thorn okay so there's yarn there robert the black thorn do i need to cut the black thorn where's the lion handle hey man maybe not birds bird seed no wax seal snowflake part this is a conundrum let me rest stop rummaging through my things i could cut any pattern here oh yeah wow good for you whoa all right i'll take it you stole my hat now i'm freezing i'm a snowman after all let me have my coal please let me die wait maybe there's a key in here try to try the little door the door i need a christmas fur decoration above it dude jesus what else is this [ __ ] yeah give me a hint uh yup yup uh-huh do i take the spider open the teapot it's a nutcracker no i can't i could grind something try grinding the bird seed grind the wax grind the bird seeds grind the sponge grind the lion handle grind the snowflakes grind the christmas hat you really think it's something that's as interesting [Laughter] should i look up a walk i've got no time for making tea of course it's a domestic kind spider put the hat on the spider [ __ ] oh there's a button on it oh good lord okay all right so guy now i gotta look for buttons i didn't even [ __ ] know that was a thing all right cool i mean i did know it just wasn't paying attention okay uh buttons do you see any buttons a ballerina figure is missing of course it is give me another hit you shitty [ __ ] snowman snowman what do you got whoa check the floor floor oh i can just leave all right i didn't know that was a thing oh my god there's so much here why is granny such a [ __ ] hoarder please help me find all of my [ __ ] santa i'm just gonna is that no not another bell what about this what about that what about the letter there we go how about this button no what about this the glasses sure duck yeah uh the candle how about the angel maybe um uh bell matches yup rocket how about christmas ball on the left ball on the left yeah there you go that's a minute yeah it's not a ball it's not a ball of christmas no oh hammer yeah yeah did you find my murderer and i mean oh i got a stamp congrats oh is that all i needed to open one of the doors right yeah uh this one yeah it was a oh yeah the stamp and the wax seal and the wax seal yeah all right god what kind of [ __ ] weird puzzle home does she live in this is crazy um a sweet sweat a sweat fly ew i think they spelled sweet wrong is it supposed to be sweet fly yeah because it's a candy fly oh okay well i need to find some kind of [ __ ] c it's gonna make me look for all these lollipops eventually oh snowflake ah no that's wrong okay so now that i have sweet fly uh what it what is put the sweet fly on the gross stain on the spider oh the spider's gonna be like [ __ ] yeah oh yeah yeah yeah now i could take this yes yes and put something in it and mash the spider oh yeah there we go grind the spider spider deer could you help me a bit whoa spider deer that's all it says i've got no time for making tea and mixing sugar with the spoon get the [ __ ] out of here i don't know seems like you got nothing but time in your button hands need to cut it with something jesus there were scissors over there that i [ __ ] found yeah why can't i keep some [ __ ] but not others wait is that a what is that that is a nut that's not that nut is obviously tasty but very tough god damn right it is [ __ ] my candy car oh oh this is all your stuff oh there's another oh god i gotta [ __ ] cut this [ __ ] but i don't have the [ __ ] to cut with what is this a beret it can't be it's my hairpin i thought i'd lost it i'm a 45 year old man is that it is that all that's in here maybe this the car has turned into candy sweetness sweetness poor beaver i need to help him completing his damn damn what yeah where's the damn bait that's damn house can you just continuously trade things out of the crow's mouth what do you got for me yeah i'll jizz you to the right direction um oh some butt finches will come yes [Laughter] wait that's it looks like one of the things from the the circle the missing circle just grab one of the finches and mash it into the circle it's the butt finches it's supposed to get its pull over [Music] what is a pullover it's the sweater that the grandma's making for them oh should i go and get a sweater from the grandma yeah but we need to do all the other [ __ ] first let her have some rest no she's got to make [ __ ] sweaters for the birds give me a hint that's right all right all right oh do i give it the the what about the spider do i uh what oh you put the nut in the nutcracker nutcracker yeah why the [ __ ] was that in a nut what all right it's tiny drumsticks the [ __ ] dude there's a tiny drum somewhere good [ __ ] lord all right i'll give it to the victor yeah yeah that'll scare him away hey let's drum a bit okay and there's the clockwork key jesus okay go to the clock next time on game oh we're hot on the [ __ ] trail now it's getting spicy oh i'm moist [Laughter] didn't think we could get three episodes out of this neither did we but here we [ __ ] are and we've only scratched the goddamn surface put the yeah give that [ __ ] to the cat yeah get the blue yarn for the [ __ ] thing i'm gonna [ __ ] distract the yeah what where did what peace out achievement obtained contain the cat dude yeah well actually you didn't well whatever ah finally the blue roll is here they're more to be found god damn it okay all right well now i'm at a [ __ ] stance yeah our our our amazing 30 second run of knowing what to do has crumbled wait can you get the pine cone from one of the oh here we go oh oh oh oh it's getting [ __ ] real in here yeah the clock is missing its hand [ __ ] i give up now what am i gonna do yeah this is the episode where we're just like all right [ __ ] snowman tell me what the [ __ ] oh now this is here okay cool uh there's a cat frozen in in time she just didn't feed it and it came out here and froze in the cold yeah have you seen whiskers this is what happens when you try to like let cats live off of clockwork mice granny [Music] the finch the bell the number the gnome there's a candy cane next to the pink bear there you go pink bear squirrel i need a bell show me belle a plus oh gotcha oh bell where's the [ __ ] bell where the bell at what oh it's on the deer it's on the neck of the deer oh my god that's two bells it didn't say bells it said belle yeah it's [ __ ] [ __ ] misleading ass goddammit and a key done dungeon rings dude what do i get now give me my gift a rake okay well that's an outdoorsy thing when do i ever so let's look around for where we could use the mr snowman where the [ __ ] yo snowman yo snowy yo snow is there like another spot i can go to aside from the house it's like another another jam this is unbelievable [ __ ] what about here oh that goes in the house oh my god what do i use the rig for it was for this oh my god oh you uprooted the spine yeah dude now i can get this yarn dude oh my god but that doesn't do anything for me yeah you got to give it to granny yeah but that's it yeah no then you're you're one closer to the there's still more that i have to do dude you think she can just make sweaters for birds that are any color those birds are highly sensitive and fashionista ah [ __ ] i don't know you don't know what to do now right all right i'm gonna get out of here i'm gonna ask snowman what to do it's time to help the baby i don't have anything for the [ __ ] beaver christmas yeah what about uh an empty cup how about a lion handle help him build this damn what the [ __ ] do you want complete his damn uh the what i i [ __ ] i did that i got to use it on the water i did it and and and then what i've got a cup of water that is worse with water oh i can i can get the syrup off of the [ __ ] mail oh my god ruin the mail wow good thing that was water disintegrating syrup wait reverse those it's integrating water my god this game has got me all a a twitter a titter that's the one uh okay okay so i got a little mistletoe now where do i put it here oh jesus no not here um uh uh uh more water [ __ ] everything's covered with some water yeah yeah get back out there get back out there [ __ ] you you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] garbage that's where you're gonna mash the finches later uh okay where's my cup give me the cup i like that the beaver smiles sometimes and then like stop smiling when he realizes you won't help him i see how it is just because i'm a [ __ ] beaver yeah exactly i didn't say that i didn't say that at all don't don't follow me into the house beaver you go you stay where beavers go oh no i need the sponge oh chopsticks yes yes lionhead looks a bit why aren't you helping me i've been crushed here for yes oh my god frank girl dude researcher uh clock hand yes oh my god there's so much [ __ ] down here scoop is broken i need a wrench in order to get this pipe for [ __ ] sake of course you do all right put the clock hand here close it up oh yodler grab uh small is that really what that is because yeah it looks like a creepy ass man kind of looks like the thing that hangs onto the side of vibrators for uh extra stimulation if you know what i mean ladies oh this is opened up they call it the elf on the shelf uh gingerbread man mask pineapple pineapple apple strawberry uh the strawberry is on the treehound i love how this is like the easiest thing in the world and yet i'm just like no [ __ ] no oh god start over just [ __ ] it uh sure that one fly maybe scissors okay you can't use those scissors for scissors stuff though what about spider no that one maybe the acorn santa bag bow orange baby oh god it's silent hill oh yeah if you keep clicking everywhere it freezes up and you can't do anything um orange pin ladybug where the hell is the pen the pin like pen my pen my piano uh where's the ladybug ladybug ladybug oh man people at home are going nuts oh it's on the clock [ __ ] okay and the pin this this pin yeah [ __ ] man pins are smallest check is it like a push pin is it like a i don't know okay oh oh the hairpin one of those yeah i was looking for the wrong kind of pen i got scotch uh pass that over to me ready wants to have a good night i couldn't say duct tape because that's uh copyrighted but scotch oh that could be a drink for all you know why don't i just eat this cotton candy away eat me to freedom knitting needles you [ __ ] and okay what's this small key to uh what's happening what is that oh dear sir my sister has whizzed excuse me i'd rather not what do you think all the syrup was she's messed something up again help me fix this repair the chimney i can't proceed knitting the sweaters because of the smoke granny all right i just love help me fix this repair the chimney while you're here why don't you re-thatch my roof looks like the casket is locked with two missing cymbals is this one of them [ __ ] yeah it is boom then i'll find the other hug man a hole has appeared i have to fix it [ __ ] has a guy tape oh i guess i was wrong dang what about let's burn some branches maybe this christmas hat will help plug the hole you're like maybe this hat will plug the hole meanwhile granny's like oh god i can't breathe they said i shouldn't breathe smoke on account of my condition please god it's so smoky in here you're like grapes monkey a bell [Laughter] glass of water oh [ __ ] where the [ __ ] is a glass of water oh [ __ ] tall cool glass of water sweet jesus did you find my buddy with a bow and top hat yes my lungs are filling with ash and you're like cookie umbrella the smoke is making a toxic chemical reaction to the candy bowling ball [Laughter] candy floss is creeping in closer i think it has a mind of its own where is the plum it's become sentient pine cone and cookie i found the log dude excellent um so proud of you it kind of looks like a blunt i mean yeah it sure does i passed that to granny that's what i was waiting for i hit that [ __ ] i need a wrench all right sure does that no yeah is that your wrench oh i could use the scotch on the scoop oh sweet thank you for fixing my dustpan my house is on fire oh my god i can't see my hands what's a scoop for i don't [ __ ] know man give me a hint baby oh all right okay uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh branch parts just hopping in but damn it there's a second one every time uh perfect yeah thanks yeah nailed it should i close this or what should i do cone shaped do i have a no we found a thousand pine cones but not none that we can keep and use so what the f oh that was just giving me a hint for that part all right what's next out of here get the [ __ ] out of here [ __ ] leave i don't want you in my house oh my god okay all right one more oh hell yeah we can't leave granny's house on fire i can't breathe i'm dying on christmas this wasn't my christmas wish three fresh heads two turtle tubs oh yeah that really [ __ ] that was the tipping point i'm not able to build dams oh my god what was this for what was the bell for why beaver man he just he just he was like i'm done life over yeah he just throws himself off a cliff you you pull in the dam and you like throw it into the fire and granny's like no mommy beaver friend not more smoke oh the only thing i have to look forward to is the pine cone which then fits in the thing oh man and there's the ballerina which goes in this yes yeah and then that'll go here and they're the scissors and now you can cut the buttons out that's right yeah yes you can cut buttons out of your car yes there's one here here [ __ ] snippety-snappity yes yes yes ah yes god yes i feel so alive no this is a dream do i still love the scissors yes stop [ __ ] i'll cut everything give the buttons to granny turn into sweetness take it no no put them with the yarn maybe that she's not taking my buttons this is a [ __ ] nightmare granny think about i have no use for coins dear buttons granny [ __ ] oh oh i thought the house was exploding because it had been on fire for too long what oh scissors yeah snip snap snap oh i don't know what that is that's a unique pattern um hey mr snowman yup um of course it goes there yeah i would have known that what yeah i taught you of course obviously you wanted this the tarantula to make a lace doily out of the pattern you cut now what uh throw it in the fire get the [ __ ] out of here uh i literally have zero [ __ ] clue whoa back at the damn throw this on the dam what do you want from me this game is so [ __ ] i could take some clay here with my bare hands oh scoop coop the scoop here's the scoop i got some clay whoops uh leave before the beaver season what have you done to my home [ __ ] now what back to the clay time to laugh at the beaver dear lake what a beauty yeah more cup actually yeah more watery cup actually i combine the water with the clay oh my god does this have religious connotations what i don't know wasn't jars of clay a christian band that's as far as i thought it out all right now what oh i could use the clay to plug up the hole oh i'm not a professional but i think i'll cope well done yeah master now yeah that really looks like the work of a master thank you very much for fixing the cherry the pressure will build over time and then explode but i'm ready visit my sister please and tell him that i'm very unhappy the whizzing sister don't forget the red roll webbing buttons and lace the red roll webbing buttons well i have lace but you wouldn't take it oh now you take it okay cool i didn't want to throw it in the fire i found all the buttons yeah you just need the red roll of yarn she's probably here oh damn [ __ ] where where'd that come from they were all fine and now they're not is this an [ __ ] it's another puzzle oh it's a bird's face is this an [ __ ] i thought it was an [ __ ] no it's not an [ __ ] that is an [ __ ] [Music] granny did i do it right no he didn't do it right no [ __ ] oh that's not right what the [ __ ] is that is that this is not even remotely right do i have to rotate them the pieces are in the wrong move the pieces to the proper place and rotate them by clicking on the arrow oh oh hello i didn't even process those as arrows yeah same boom okay um and this one is wrong is this the right one no damn it you [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] is it this one here no it's this one it's my favorite game so if you're ever part of my favorite game did i do it well you got to rotate those last two is that a sh bam yup is that right no two up click clack bam no that's not right no no there we go nope that's not right i don't think that's the right one oh switch them back yep jesus christ i'm having sex so much fun oh [ __ ] okay got it did you solve my series of complicated and convoluted puzzles yet clickety clow no don't go in there what the [ __ ] what's this now yes you sadly you've gotten into the kitchen oh darling i've heard about you from my sister i've heard her yelling through the broken chimney i can finally see her again after 20 years i'll just knit though my hand my hands has got weak oh my god don't get clean by themselves whoa you got it granny sorry to hear about your hands hasn't gotten the red hot chili pepper uh onions scissors duck stamp yarn pomegranate that uh pond pomegranate carrot cloth green bean lemon ace oh there it is cheese tea bag tea bag that's not a request it's just palm and sugar the cubes and the palms palm olive there's a palm i see a mitten yeah the [ __ ] is a palm oh like a palm tree gotcha oh there it is yeah you have found all my [ __ ] did that oxiclean that's a straight up oxiclean billy bay's soda powder oh okay i can clean that grease using water i guess i was wrong yeah i guess i was wrong there we go you can't clean grease with water that's not right at all okay well the pot is fully covered sprinkle it with soda so there you go just look at that shine and then scrape i only one thing i need is a scraper the pot is fully covered with some mold and mushrooms pot is desperately rusty needs acid oh i'm sure i'm gonna find that somewhere yeah hi dear would you be a dude get me some acid growth promoter four tabs i'm really looking at a trip crazy balls tonight i need to put santa claus and an angel to open the chest three snowballs good lord you're [ __ ] more needy than your sister whoa what you got a dagger an icebreaker okay bring me my acid and dagger oh a tasty carrot let me give you some of that baby hey rabbit get a tasty carrot oh my god i got an egg now is that something i needed oh jesus would you bring me my nightmare monkey give it an egg i don't love to juggle it put the tiny hat on it don't give the monkey the dagger whatever you do it's impossible to open the sugar bowl without inserting two strawberries here oh god if i had a nickel for every time i have said that oh a snowflake lock oh nope never mind yeah you've only got one third of what you need from that here have your hat god damn it it needs a ball it needs a [ __ ] monkey ball jesus christ what is this sega a super monkey ball that's right oh [ __ ] it's the second part oh [ __ ] swan is hiding something behind see you later i'm gonna go party with your sister now that i can do something with her clock [ __ ] yes this candy should be very tasty yeah or the solution to a weird [ __ ] puzzle yeah yeah more goddamn likely definitely the case do it done yeah open the door get on the floor everybody walk to [ __ ] burn this house down finally peace oh hey oh is that the scraper the scraper is missing the handle shove the candy cane in there snake i know ouch it's hot yeah it's a stove [ __ ] even in the future nothing works why don't i use the growth problem the icebreaker into the scraper maybe that'll be its handle i don't wanna be giant grandma don't use the growth promoter on me these curtains are heavy and closed hardly are they hardly closed now god damn we both have the same thought uh oh god okay all right [ __ ] my god yes cheese okay i don't know why oh lure the mouse yes finally something progress yes at last drama a little mousy for sure yeah oh wow you got the mouse yeah it's my little it's my hungry little mousy hey granny you want some of this [ __ ] ah i don't like it oh wait maybe the mouse will get eaten by the the spider no that's too that's way too [ __ ] up for this game is it totally i don't know about that what we can grind it we can grind yes is that mouse paste over there you cook it up [Music] i love all animals of nature when they're mashed into a fine paste in order that ballerina in order that the ballerina dances it's necessary to insert a special special music special i'm losing my [ __ ] mind here you're special aaron to me thank you oh what's that thing oh it's a uh scap scapula scapula do you mean spatula or a scapula a different thing spatula yeah use it on you try the middle one i guess uh maybe the oven wrong the scapula no put the mouse i don't [ __ ] know oh my god all right snowman give me yep all right okay growth promoter we're we creating super mold oh good how the [ __ ] impervious what what the [ __ ] what even happened it made the mushrooms big oh now i have to wipe the pot with the sponge to remove this mess if you [ __ ] say so now i can easily remove this mold what the [ __ ] merry christmas if you're not sick of this game we're not either oh hell no it's a pretty big f but we hope you're not i am ready for more oh i could use i'm kind of like weirdly invested in the plot i'm so invested what the f what do i do they're closed hardly really i literally thought about that and i was like no that's too stupid yeah [ __ ] off it says it's tasty it doesn't say like wow what a sturdy candy cane what a good guy it's useless without suspension this is for enemas oh angel's missing its wings i okay i'll take the antlers yeah sure is there a deer that's missing them oh dear up here oh yeah you have to create another deer my [ __ ] god kill me one deer is missing in this couple okay the antlers is missing its deer oh my [ __ ] god dude i know it's crazy what is this what is this what is this what is this i can't do anything here i can't do what it what snowman what give me another i beg you oh god did i like exhaust all my hints oh whoa lord oh now we are [ __ ] we're totally [ __ ] uh the fridge is locked there we go oh thank christ here we go uh need to put santa claus as an angel chicken would break an egg oh yes strawberry oh you just won though oh but that's halfway to oh god this [ __ ] game you don't got to tell me twice this is stupid what do we have to use on this strawberry to open this is actually stupid [Laughter] oh there's a hidden santa dude oh god santa's locked where where is this i i closed my eyes for a second there's so many keys santa claus without a hat oh [ __ ] [ __ ] everything is as it's supposed to be well i'm out of here oh god oh oh i took him okay i have the santa claus so that's one half of the puzzle here enjoy the santa tits where where the [ __ ] was the the the strawberries yeah it was here oh yeah one and then i gotta find the strawberry is in place okay so i need to find oh is that an angel wing what oh [ __ ] yeah oh my god yeah yes yes yes there is a wingless angel oh god damn it it's only one wing all right snowman yeah tell us leave okay good now what oh here no over by the i have to dig it out i could pull this thing but i can't hook it maybe i'll use the icebreaker guess i was wrong there's something on the ground i have to dig it out what about the candy cane nebula yes oh using the scapula this could be the hand it's the handle for the scraper ah it's the scraper handle yeah oh yeah oh there's more what this what mischievous person went around these poor granny's houses [ __ ] mixing and matching everything maybe it's like the only way that like the the like estranged kids can connect with them they're like you've solved all my riddles you know when you like give when you give your like your wife or your girlfriend like a scavenger hunt yes and then by the end it's like oh the wedding ring actually i don't know that but i i mean i guess i know what all those things are okay and you give your wife or girlfriend a scavenger hunt yeah and then at the end it's like i will you marry me or something the [ __ ] are you talking about never seen like a cartoon that [ __ ] did that or something no have you ever done that no well you've been with susie for 14 years i think i did give her a scavenger hunt really yeah and then at the end it's like here's your christmas present or something you gotta travel into the temple of pants and find the holy penis a wool sock dude oh it's clean look inside no more mold now you did [ __ ] up that sock though can't deny that yeah you can't use it anymore that's awful that's just another thing god damn right it is [Laughter] the [ __ ] all right nice nice there's no grease now oh [ __ ] what's this can i just use the scraper on that no dang just light it on fire and be done with it only acid where am i gonna find acid for [ __ ] sake jesus christ come on go to the club you [ __ ] okay what do you got for me what do you what do you want from me what do you want here whoa oh there's the deer oh yeah give it give it the antlers there's one antler god damn it yeah it's the [ __ ] it's a pinnacle of everything's in twos all right what else that's not a [ __ ] helpful hint oh there's more [ __ ] over here yeah all right well how am i supposed to think of that one there's [ __ ] more [ __ ] everywhere he's just she's gonna listen to what it is oh yeah okay let's go in here because inside there's more [ __ ] looks like she doesn't want to let her end anymore looks like granny got a little progressive whoa whoa keep going you haven't found the balloon the candle or the nut come on you're gonna like the nut when you find it you're gonna love it it's right there next to the candy cane nut boom jam christmas tree blue bulb right there blue bulb where's the christmas tree orange peel right there where you are up on the stove where's the christmas tree uh oh that's not a christmas tree is this it the [ __ ] is the christmas tree in wow in a christmas game it's like dora the explorer there there it is oh nice hidden dude wow i was looking for a green thing me too or a well-lit thing with lights oh god yes oh my god does this mean we're getting close to the end of this game very nice what else do i need that's it right webbing three three buttons find the lace you gave her the legs that they just must keep that up until you she's making the sweaters the three okay got that got that clean three pots find the what was the bottom the webbing the webbing but we're done with the spider for now what if what if what if i burned you up what if i lit you on that okay what now oh for [ __ ] jesus freaking christ more water for the cup oh all right fine thank you got it great now inside the house oh what the what don't steal my mail break the ice oh snowflake oh [Music] boom that snowflake is it's a symbol that fits in the house yes you're right um um but where other other room oh there's new [ __ ] there's new [ __ ] jesus christ uh uh cow um uh [ __ ] umbrella yes knife guitar grandmas ecstasy grandma sick axe yeah i'm gonna need a battery there's the battery below the cup how does that work how does how does a pacemaker run if it's electric right it needs batteries oh my god i don't know so how does that work oh that wasn't the battery what am i looking at oh it's flashlight i guess egg olive does that hurt olive bottle opener done yeah yay big key sick though there's like a thousand key things not this one nope nope that's two what about this one that looks pretty big yes thanks [ __ ] god oh burglar yeah what the [ __ ] yeah they want me to do this [ __ ] why is that making me feel bad about it why is that an achievement a sac do hungry yes sure hey mousy go and make a hole in the sack yeah i could have just opened it no mouse friend i need to call upon the power of nature now it looks like scarecrow from batman jesus oh yeah killian murphy the hottest man alive okay aaron let's not get sidetracked here he'd [ __ ] him i know you would that's all i'm saying you've told me many times i would suck him off i'm happy for you i would give him a tickling hey killian murphy if you would like to come on our show just let us know i won't be weird i swear yeah i know i might be a little weird but just to touch i just i won't be as it there's two strawberries right there and i can't take them unbelievable [ __ ] is the logic of this game man unbelievable this is garbage ass you need kiwi the boot and the b the boot where's there a boot i don't know but there's a b right there boom [ __ ] b that was hidden dude yeah where's their boot fork easy what's the solid boot there's not a single boot here um [Music] there's a tiny bit there's a tiny [ __ ] boot right over there there's a spoon on the table with a spider why do i need this spoon i'll get some butter with this spoon cool neat there was some crazy [ __ ] under the butter oh what do i do with the snowflakes again uh wasn't there like a key with a snowflakes oh you got them all was it was uh this was snowballs no balls so i'm done with the fridge uh this needs an ornament hanger this is a stove for [ __ ] i can't remember where you needed the snowflake symbol maybe it was on the clock just i need acid yeah me too buddy all kinds um try the clock the clock yeah no i can't do that anymore no it's done yeah what was it up here no no oh god all right snowman just show us [ __ ] it show us oh it's in here god damn it show me the way wait what no gotcha oh what what the [ __ ] was it here maybe you have something else it's missing i'll get a snowflakes oh the parts are in the pocket oh wow thank you okay snowflake i have two snowflakes nate all right so now what why is it like specific about where i put it oh it was up here oh yeah there it is okay cool snowflake number one snowflake number two now the monkey can be free acid ah my acid thank god drop it for me please just give me one or two heads just have to take the edge off and let me see some crazy [ __ ] incredible thank you very much i'm going to make apple jam from winter apples they're deep in the snow now so go to the art place and help me finding 12 apples please was this was this game auto-corrected i think i think maybe it was not made in english uh yeah oh there's apples everywhere now oh [ __ ] perfect it's one of the twelve god these are giant apples yeah good crush that's enough that please that's enough oh god there's so many apples i'm so scared where the is that it no there's one more oh [ __ ] you're right we have 12 apples oh they're under the bridge [Music] no that was sneaky a damn genius it looked like a plum thank you perfect now help me brewing the dinner i need water and sugar for that take one of the pots you've cleaned use stove to cook then cool it and we're done are you sure we're done hold on hold on i have something much more important to do banana microphone please god i'm running out of time butterfly i can feel the sweet embrace of death creeping up my old back stag beetle stag beetle broccoli jesus yeah i should get that out of here oh there's the broccoli scroll strawberries looking everywhere for that stag beetle car pyramid butterfly all the stuff that wasn't here before is the stuff i have to pick out right so where's that god damn hair where's the stag beetle you need a squirrel a hair oh boy a squirrel there he is a squirrel a hair like a rabbit try hitting the deer for a second oh no there's the beetle uh next to the bread the sneaky snake sort of a [ __ ] and uh the hair that right there oh yeah proud hair yay thank you hair i got it star how you're throwing the jam oh okay i don't have sugar i do have butter and cocoa that's none of what i need no all right delicious chocolate cake there's a [ __ ] rabbit back there no big deal so if i put the water in the pot i have the water do i put the pot in the stove jesus christ yes the pot is crazy well done now what necessary to put some sugar i'm gonna give you some sugar okay how about some apples yeah i've got 12 apples it doesn't fit here yeah not natural sugars where the [ __ ] am i gonna find the sugar dude i don't know hit that snowman what the [ __ ] a snowman knows what's up there [ __ ] oh geez where this it's hiding something oh there's an angel wing behind the swan yeah but i can't move the [ __ ] swan dude [ __ ] what am i gonna do i don't know this is a nightmare i'll smoke it out star is me oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] my ass it's my star [ __ ] i found the wings [Laughter] um yay now i open it and there's an ormanent oh man a christmas ball very nice how about this one clink well now what do i do with the christmas ball what do i do snowman that's a solid question snowman what do i do there's another [ __ ] god damn it son of a [ __ ] whenever i can't figure out what to do it's [ __ ] there's a tiger there's star candy cane in gingerbread men is everybody learning is everybody out there having a good time learning with us i'm saul ginger breadman spoon spoon snake pencil spoon snake was the new pen pineapple apple pen unicorn how did you not see that right away oh [ __ ] i missed it completely bolt like a lightning bolt or i don't know like a regular you're asking me over here i found it it did it was it juggling ball oh for the monkey wow you called that [ __ ] here it is get it monkey and start juggling get it monkey one ball oh it [ __ ] up oh its battery is dead jesus all right that's pretty pretty [ __ ] dark yeah that's super morbid yay i'm dead [Laughter] my one ball that i sadly juggled what was oh the musical barrel yes yes oh she's going strawberry it's a little rotten that's where my strawberry was since 1926. take the sugar oh my god and yeah and put the sugar in the pot pour some sugar on me come on fire me up oh some apples start cooking oh yeah watch them disintegrate god look at that it's gonna be delicious just apples now we play the waiting game very hot jam yeah that's what i write all the time exclusively ninja sex party's a goal so should i give it to old what do i do with the very hot jam that's not the type of very hot jam i'm into [ __ ] okay now what the [ __ ] i thought the whole point of this was to make a very hot jam there's something new out here or what do you want from me do i pour it in the river more water oh cool it oh [ __ ] off just leave it sitting for a second perfect the jam is fully ready now give it to the granny that jam was too hot thank you you're a real chef yeah i've heard you're a real chef i've heard you're missing ingredients for your spell spell oh to get the car that's the whole thing i guess so there's an bunny shape near the kettles make chocolate pour it into the shape and you'll get one of the ingredients what i gotta make chocolate dude okay gotta make you got the cocoa powder let's i'll take the pock for the chocolate so i'll put the spoon for the butter and then the cocoa and then now what oh god i just oh the [ __ ] am i gonna oh of course i'll get it from right here hmm sea urchin oh you got it oh my god we are i am running out of steam with this [ __ ] that's a copyrighted character what i can't do that well who was it that was a [ __ ] evil witch from from snow white was it really yeah well they've also got the copyrighted burger king crown there so i guess it doesn't matter that's just a generic crowd oh had a rainbow and a rainbow okay i just i just like the duck like excuse me um are you making cocoa he's the most intriguing character in this game that's like mansplained duck he's like um actually [Laughter] you need a comb oh ice cream and a pan and a piano the pen's near the flowers here's my piano it's in front of the flowers oh my god it's a pan yeah i did it oh god i'm proud of you that was the easiest one yet hooray honey got it i made the cocoa i think we're oh this is it aaron the chocolate i need butter cocoa and honey then mix all the grease with a spoon boom yes dude look at this we're making magic it's all swirly and [ __ ] it's a pot with chocolate goddamn right it is it into the body pour it into the bunny yeah it's actually pretty good yes i did it you cooked a bunny i'd like to ask you for one more favor visit my sister upstairs take the christmas cactus from her i'll place it at the window and we'll wait for it to start blooming thanks a lot go upstairs find my sister steal her [ __ ] bring it to me how am i supposed to get up there when there's all this cotton candy oh try the matches of course yeah start a really huge fire on their stairway in their wooden house wait so now that i have the chocolate bunny what the [ __ ] i don't know dude like this game could actually go on for years what the heck you have no idea oh gee oh there's two more things well we hope you all had a very nice time oh my god christmas to you there's a [ __ ] nightmare what the hell is christmas puzzle christmas puzzle is this it's a cabin in the woods where we're going to get murdered is this gonna be festive is this the thing that you you looked up on your phone and you turned the picture to me and you're like i think we could make an episode out of this you just nodded at me and you're like why not i love how christmas puzzle welcome aaron click here to change user like my family is clamoring to have an account on christmas puzzle welcome aaron would you like to not be here we'll give you an out right away complete the set of puzzle levels and finish decoration of your house before christmas what when's christmas oh my god you will get coins to buy ornaments and illuminations almost on every level jesus thank god like they're really sorry to take the lord's name on a christmas episode what god it's got nothing to do with god jesus oh it's one of these swap figures to make a horizontal and vertical line of three pieces each line will be removed there you go we're doing it dan do it excellent whoa whoa yeah oh this is this is now this is christmas when you collect a line of pieces you could also collect plates which are under these pieces clear all plates to complete the level oh i get it i don't like it but i get it yep i don't god stop just let me play the [ __ ] game for [ __ ] sake 50 jeez wow well this is this is going my way my way or the highway baby intense i think i'd i think i just cleared the stage really wait is that it how do you know i cleared all the plates i just got to keep cleaning pieces there seems to be a um arrows pointing those coins down oh i have to collect the coins yay you stupid [ __ ] bastard wow jesus did in your sickness you have gotten testy merry christmas is what i meant [Laughter] merry christmas you [ __ ] [ __ ] [Music] i'm trying to get down there but i can't yeah there's nothing there's nothing good happening trying to get this ginger baby down there whoa easy his hair color and freckles don't mean the gingerbread baby this is hard i i gotta get these coins down there i think christmas is supposed to be easy [Laughter] christmas is the hardest day of your life yeah it only gets harder from here kid son of a [ __ ] i i have to get below these coins i have to clear this [ __ ] and i can't because i gotta [ __ ] i gotta get something i gotta get three things down here and it's hard dan it's really difficult do you understand yeah let the music carry you away oh i'm so close oh i'm so close oh oh no no what the [ __ ] do i can i restart oh it's a button to look at the beautiful scenery how would i appreciate the aurora borealis if not for this now back to the ugly graphics oh there we go this is fun man i'm glad that we're sharing the holidays together you know sharing the cheer sharing the love i wish i was dead and now that you're with me it's like you're dead every day cause living with me is like being in hell what was that thing barry said one time where is like well if i'm dead then you're bread and he was like yes i can't remember what it was when was this i don't know it was a long time ago god yes i nailed it i nailed it i'm trying so hard to get these presents down there this is like a [ __ ] way to clear that area but no ah it keeps messing me up it keeps it keeps bringing me like in dissonance how would i do it i have to i have to clear out these pieces like underneath by like bringing pieces down it's such a [ __ ] log jam of nothing i know all right don't you think i know that okay i'm sorry maybe i'll just restart okay wait [Music] what did i do oh you can oh i have a hammer with which to bash whoa [ __ ] that's all i needed to do apparently wow great all right you did it snowman i'm gonna buy a snowman really yeah it'll cost you 20 coins cool all right you did it and i got an achievement snowman you could you upgrade that snowman with some [ __ ] arms and features wait a second oh okay oh god no is this is that how physics works i don't think that's how physics why not just it's just all right it's fine yes i got the coins what what happened i don't know what do you mean what happened i cleared out underneath the coins and then it got and they moved down they moved down a little bit yeah move uh use the hat do the hat on with the candy cane on the bottom row and that'll get you there you go see oh my god you snakey little [ __ ] did you call me snakey no i'm just saying like congrat merry christmas merry christmas to all into all a good night [ __ ] ha shoe shoe that's the sound of somebody snoring i see all right so now all i have to work all i have to worry about is um clearing these these plates man this is just a smooth jazzy rendition of [ __ ] joy to the world yeah it is i could [ __ ] to this oh you got yourself a hammer power up they're getting those [ __ ] guitar harmonies down dude fantastic get rid of those plates dude yeah yeah did it i did the best i possibly could oh my god clean the pathway that'll cost you 10 coins oh and the house is getting gradually more christmassy pretty soon you get to put up lights and [ __ ] oh my god i can [ __ ] barely stand it dude i put up lights on my house and i'm so ugh so happy did you really yeah well so we were gone for most of this month right so what i did was i found a guy that could put up lights um if i just if i just paid him nice because i wanted susie to be able to come home and she drives up in her taxi and then the lights are there that's awesome yeah and she didn't know she had no idea pretty funny so she just drove up and was like whoa good [ __ ] good husbanding aaron thanks man i've only put up christmas decorations one time it was with my friend uh josh and his family i was gonna say it yeah it was with my mom and my dad in my house we were fed up with our religion not a hebrew was stirring um but yeah like i i i had read something in a book i had seen the word myriad for the first time in a book this is all i remember about the experience but i wanted to to impress josh's dad because like he was a cool guy and um i so i tried to use it in a sentence but i didn't look at it close enough when it was written so i guess i called it my raid and he was like what and he was the type of dad who like you wanted to impress with how smart you were because he was a smart ass himself so he'd make fun of you and like he was [ __ ] merciless as soon as i said my raid oh that's that [ __ ] still sing stings like 27 years later you've never heard the kansas song [Music] i think it's my raid my raid i've heard the kansas song miracles out of nowhere or as long as as i like to say miracles my raid out of nowhere yes oh yeah i got 30 coins for that now i can afford house decorations oh my god it's like um have you ever played storybook weaver no it was again it was a well it wasn't a game it was like a program for computers and it was like this and you'd pick out backgrounds and you'd and you'd have little um characters that you could move around and then you would write a little book underneath like an area for text and then you could print it out have you ever played storybook y raid it's good you should try it sometime i read it i wrote it in the book that word so you know it's good i'm on a lot of drugs right now that's cool uh to help with my flu yeah i get it okay can i get some of that no i took it all oh which is i think partly responsible for my [ __ ] inability to string a coherent thought together right now that's okay hey well merry christmas dan it's a race during christmas i think geez i think the plot is i'm santa it's looking a little cubitsy um or we're santa yeah there's your scent oh boy [Laughter] grab your reward you've earned it let me just open that oh god yeah i'm fine it's worth dying for [Laughter] oh my god oh how in the world how would you ever [Music] [Laughter] santa going flying too much for me to handle right now he doesn't move either he's just like i've accepted my fate he just bounces around oh my god santa's all right here we go there wasn't enough room for santa's workshop so they just put santa's here we go boy how am i really fast yeah and i don't know how i'm [ __ ] just just threading the needle between these things i'm supposed to collect you gotta hold and release [ __ ] this is it's so hard to control really are you sure the only way i turn is you're doing great you're doing great i default by by turning right okay uh-huh and then and then i click the mouse wheel the first obstacle i click the mouse wheel to go left and that's how i control it wow or i click the mouse button rather it's pretty good oh you got one present done that was really close though that was pretty good you got six presents so close it's random every time so i can't get used to the pattern oh it's tough it's tough the sound sounds like like good thing by fine young cannibals good thing where have you gone dan these are called voxels what does that mean they're like uh they're like uh 3d squares but they they function like pixels okay okay uh-huh so see everything's really blocky yes because they're made up of voxels okay some people thought that voxels would be the future they're not they were wrong yeah well you don't look at this game and think like wow we made it the future oh yeah we're here well look at how smooth it is dude it's pretty good imagine playing this game when like the nin the regular nintendo nintendo entertainment system was the [ __ ] you'd be like oh my god this game is [ __ ] incredible oh dear i love how it has that like cartoon ass kung fu movie yeah i just i just like imagining santa going oh no [Laughter] every time oh wait hold on i think this one's gonna be a good one i can feel it [Music] [Laughter] here i'll do it one more time yeah oh i'm not gonna let you because i'm gonna i'm gonna get so far dude course of course you are god how am i so bad at getting these [ __ ] presents [Music] oh no is this how he does it it's i just it's so funny because you got to that part where you could see like more than one obstacle and i was like ready with the oh no to parry the oh no it's tough dude i'll tell you when i'm preparing it right now [Music] wow you're getting it wow wow dude you are amazing and missing oh no [Laughter] what dan i'm trying you're amazing you're missing those presents i'm trying just swallowing right through them he's [ __ ] careening down oh no [Music] [Laughter] no no presents for the children this year no no quarter that is oh no that's [ __ ] great music the music is killing me it's fun right it's a good game for kids it looks really oh no it looks really smooth it is smooth yeah it's like very pleasing what the [ __ ] oh dear whoa whoa whoa hold up hold on oh i didn't mean to close it jeez i just thought oh you got so far too well it saves my progress does it is it settings oh wait why am i collecting presents it's all saved i can't is this it i think that's it dude oh wait oh there we go oh look at all those santas and sleds you can unlock okay so i need 200 presents to unlock something hell yeah i need 100 to get a new sled oh [ __ ] what's that one that looks like a steam pipe oven what this one a stovepipe oven this one yeah it's a segway oh it's like a rail wow sweet i love it all right i want that so now now the object is to collect enough to get a presence yeah oh you only get one at a time yes that's so difficult do do do do do do do do yeah but it's because i got that bonus what bonus do you remember at the beginning it let me open that bonus but collect my reward oh yeah you remember that well how many was that i think it gave me like a good 10 or 20 or so i don't remember [ __ ] it's so hard to control dude it's pretty much the best gamer the one button control is just it's just agony i think you're gonna be fine i think as long as you learn how to how to just oh see now you're getting it christmas is saved dude you've collected every present so far holy [ __ ] i missed a bunch of presents oh oh oh no i'm trying i am getting the hang of it though yeah you are oh but it makes you turn a little too much that's the problem yeah it definitely like turns you in a 360 degree kind of arc [ __ ] i like to believe that this is how santa this is how santa functions this is a son of a [ __ ] it tries to [ __ ] well i'm gonna give some kids these presents now they'll really enjoy this betty [ __ ] [Music] i'm gonna eat these cookies and dip them in milk oh my god i'm gonna dip them and they're gonna soak up the milk and the chocolate chips will get all gooey and moist i can't wait to eat those cookies now let's put some presents under the tree and see if little timmy and josie like what they see he's santa cause he talks he talks in rhymes yeah yeah yeah i was hoping i would die faster than this yeah i know i sort of ran out of [ __ ] dude this was a battle kid situation making up that rhyme sort of helped you yeah i guess so maybe you should do that more no now i'm a little too focused okay now you're killing it you might actually if this does in fact end oh i haven't heard this part of the song yet i know this isn't i kind of want to listen to it okay i'll stop talking no but but then our show wouldn't be very interesting would it oh okay [Music] oh my god oh sound like a like oh you just blasted right through 100 presents that segue is as good as yours home oh look at look at all those presents dude and a bird is that a bird yeah it's a bird that's new graphics yup all right wait buy yourself a sled oh god well what about people there's santa there's george and bill and jim they're still locked because you don't you need more that mario is that a skeleton man you need at least 200. gee you only win jeepers creepers he's got oh here we go but that's kind of a boy it's just a regular ass sled why would i want to spend 100 when i can get myself a segway oh that's cool should i get that one i don't [ __ ] know dude how much is the segway maybe there's a tighter oh 400 damn dude all right uh who do they think is gonna play this game enough to unlock all this [ __ ] i'm gonna but this is like exactly the same as the sled that i have yeah you don't need it save your money i'm going to save my money save your money to be someone cooler than santa you're right there is no one cooler than ever oh no there was no one cooler than santa dan you're probably right all right i'm going to make a challenge for you okay i'm only gonna give you five more tries at this starting now i'm only gonna give you five more tries at this to get to 200. okay to get to 200. well that average is 25 per thing you you got like a little incredible amount all right you want to make it ten you wanna make it ten all right since you're a big old [ __ ] so this is number nine no well we'll we'll this will be your first okay i saw a pretty girl and i was like i'm going for it uh not not looking so hot that wasn't fair though they put that pillar right where i needed to turn [Laughter] you know you think by playing it more you'd get better at it oh man seven left me though there you go oh god why would they do that that's cruel that's that's evil six remaining to get 75 it's starting to look a little dicey no what if i you just need to get on a roll you need to get on a roll like some jelly good on a roll like some butter oh [ __ ] oh come on i wouldn't even worry about presents early on cause like they it starts giving you the many in a row like as you get farther [Laughter] that was [ __ ] hot dude yeah that was hot gave me a penis it gave you a penis gave me a hard penis [ __ ] snowman it distracted me faked you out all right i believe i'm not four left responsibility let's say four left here okay geez does that want to give me yeah yeah okay [Laughter] i'm just gonna close my eyes and see santa's like bare ass flipping up is this game supposed to get you in the christmas spirit i don't know i i certainly don't feel very festive in the spirit of giving i will god damn it [ __ ] three left [Music] look at all those birds that's a herd of birds two left two shots left to get 56. oh look at this technique oh oh if i kept going i would have done it oh man if i kept going i would have made the turn one left aaron and i have been giggling at this this menu for a couple minutes now um i want to eat it welcome to delicious emily's christmas carol do you think emily herself is what's delicious like delicious emily that's why the mom is so excited because she can't wait to eat her child she's not of age yet but i can tell she's getting very delicious yeah i can't wait for my child to ripen select your name uh use this that's how you spell that sure it is okay how do you spell eustace i believe with a ce at the end it's her emily o'malley oh she's irish and paige with patrick edward and francois grace sharon angela mary george and holly i'll remember all those names special guest santa claus you better have my check ready emily looks delicious get out of here get out of here children i don't know if it will still here up here oh this does look familiar actually i think i saw ross play this one time really yeah it's snowing well every isn't everything just fabulous oh what's this over here emily go hop into the pot well hi there little angel you're looking free filling he wants to eat you well you're not ready yeah you've got nothing to fear emily until your seventh birthday simply the most wonderful time of the year everybody knows santa only eats children seven and up well that was magical goosebumps every time [Music] we're out of here no tip ha ha yeah francois he doesn't even throw it he just mashes it into her face francois don't you dare francine oh he's gonna get her yeah oh boy while that puerto rican guy's making love to your mom i'll just show you how to make a snowman and that was your first day at preschool today young lady daddy teddy guess what i'm gonna breathe i can do it ah it serves you right [ __ ] oh francois i'm allergic to snow [Laughter] get my happy pen francois water my only weakness and how are you doing young lady well i couldn't have hoped paige's first day of preschool could go any better unless it lasted two hours longer so we could [ __ ] oh [ __ ] do you want me to explain how this works again first you take the [ __ ] in your hand again well let's see it all starts when people come in okay hi i'm people [Laughter] first you prepare their order i got the order then you hand it over take it have a great day or emily aren't you forgetting something don't they have to pay [ __ ] you oops i didn't know what to do if you ever ever give our goods away from free for free again i will bury you in this snow i'm gonna do that i'm gonna do that and deliver it to their table okay sweet they're eating now this time i will put the money in the register ah you're goddamn right you will don't put yourself down because this [ __ ] massage doesn't is you i will i will bury you just remember the happier the customers are the bigger their tip will be and the bigger my tip will be if you know what i'm just saying now there's only one thing left to do clean the table maybe you should handle that no you do everything yeah i would but i'm very busy at this standing near the snowman situation hey it's carl our house mouse that's right hello little fellow are you coming with me into the pot he's eating and contaminating all our food that makes it better catch it quickly for a rat feces bonus so you still know what you're doing and if i work fast i could serve more than one person at a time hey customers usually give me something extra for that i'll give you something extra for that how all right keep every customer happy or better okay sounds what do you want what do you want what do you want what do you want what do you want hurry up and decide what do you want hurry up what do you want what do you want oh [ __ ] damn it why don't you just say so in the first place you stupid [ __ ] garbage person garbage person and what do you want tiny garbage person i want the kids thank god everyone here wants the same piece of frosted bread and pretzels that does look really good because that is all you serve we want this you gotta make the cake though yeah oh god plus the presents oh god then deliver that [ __ ] to the table full order just like susan but who is susan what is her relationship to these folk susan's our house proud town mouse house proud town mouse yeah say that four times fast that's pretty much yeah it's hard right uh-oh hurry an interracial couple's coming next i can feel it give me all your mons stipp me tip me lots of mons and then that and then that and then that there you go dude i'm gonna be the fat ass eating the whole cake she'll just have a pretzel two cakes for me please they're all mad oh no we're closed i gotta clean the table you get the hell out of here young woman is that oh yeah i thought you were talking to this person i was i was like neither woman nor young oh is that a guy yeah it probably is i was mistaking the earmuffs for hair clean the table and collect the money uh don't you don't have to go home but you can't stay here yes i got three stars don't let the door hit you where the good lords betcha yay i took that picture on the beach my boyfriend told me i looked real cute paige sweetheart why don't you tell daddy the exciting news i'm gonna be eating yes and it's a very special one too it's their 50th anniversary wow you don't look a day over seven said santa mouth-watering and it's based on your story right sweetheart yeah the story of the little girl that was eaten i can't wait our own little musical star i love talented meat presents presents presents i love christmas oh my god oh yes yes i love it when our daughter hugs strangers emily your uncle antonio and bridget said merry christmas from the bahamas [Music] i'm so jealous i would love to get away from the holidays just imagine how funny they would have found that if she'd said a joke not having to take care of everything and everyone for once eyeballs [ __ ] this douche what do you mean no christmas in snugford oh god mom i don't mean every year just once would be nice you [ __ ] [ __ ] what a [ __ ] let's put our daughter to sleep go to sleep man i don't know why we gave our daughter the entire living room for her bedroom yeah this is an enormous bedroom all right time to sleep in the closet god i gotta get into the [ __ ] one pretzel selling business this house isn't [ __ ] huge can i choose what i want to be in the musical as long as it's edible yeah [Laughter] maybe sweetheart stop it stop it [Music] sweetheart i love you but i assure you regardless of what you say or do this dick is going in your mother tonight okay should i do the bonus round or the regular round i don't know it's totally up to you man all right i'll do the regular one okay the shop so many che hoises wow look at she's looking at all the things what'll fatten me up the most chocolate bar nice purge come on dear why is she taking so long to cook oh she's not a vaget okay okay [Music] yeah we're gonna eat that kid oh a present has arrived hello guess whose favorite aunt is in town definitely my favorite aunt jeez angela paige will be thrilled so where's paige i don't know where those hot legs are yours oh there they are emily just took our little angel to preschool so uh we have time to commit adultery yeah wanna have a threesome with a snowman the snowman's like a little carrot just comes out from his bottom part preschool already time sure flies fast i don't suppose that's for me this present isn't but this [ __ ] is okay i really hope that's not for me don't forget i want pictures whatever bring that hot puss over here she'll love it don't forget to buy it from paper sorry i got chips in my teeth that's okay don't forget to hide it from page you don't want to ruin the magic i'll ruin your magic god no let me just put everything back where it was she [ __ ] rudely left it on the floor oh [ __ ] yeah they are a really lovey-dovey couple oh yeah chocolate christmas bread um okay quick preparation time okay great let's do it choose my menu i don't know oh i think you have to hit play [Music] oh i can choose gotcha yeah i'm gonna change that there you go you can buy a scarf or a delicious scarf yeah let's go with the green scarf pretty sure you're not supposed to eat scarves well i've never encountered one that was delicious enough before so here we are guess that's true walk 400 yards excuse me my one black friend it's been so long wow those kids everyone is so diverse what do you think they're talking to who they're talking about i don't know perhaps the way that one is a french indian girl and the other one is an emaciated child you need more meat on the bones if you want to be selected by santa for his eatens his eatings yeah santa's sacred eatons did he just freeze like he's just like i want did seem that way mouse found oh geez usually when people find mice and the bread i'm serving they don't give me an extra hundred dollars uh here and then i will make your cake yeah well i will make it quickly you better hurry quickly hell yeah one star reached the tables now [Music] oh two chocolate breads they need two [ __ ] chocolate bread easy stat nice decide what you [ __ ] want bonuses for quick can i get a shot dude you are [ __ ] crushing this could i get a scarf to wrap this pretzel in it can can you make it delicious welcome back you sure are hungry today for strictly desserts oh my god that's all we got it's not healthy let's oh gosh there's a um [Music] there's a ski resort uh stratton that i used to go to in vermont and they had like a little lodge thing like right on the mountain where like not a lodge itself you don't go into it it was just like a stand the only things they served were hot chocolate and uh and full belgian waffles whoa super hot syrupy belgian waffles and you just eat that [ __ ] down and then ski for like two hours it was the [ __ ] best and then you would throw up yes and then you'd simultaneously throw up while tearing your acl it was pretty great cleaning the table i did it hell yeah and i got some shopping money oh my time to blow it i can't wait to get that flashlight for my husband honey patrick did you buy me an early christmas gift you shouldn't have oh no that's that's your cheating horrible aunt well actually it's for paige angela came by i'll put it away in a minute oh and i'll put the present away too look what santa got me oh paige put a coat on it's freezing wait a minute paige you can tell wacky shit's happening because my knees got inverted open it yeah oh damn it this is the costume that you're supposed to wear to heaven after santa eats you mom can i beat angel in a musical uh let's see okay sweetheart she just takes the pillow from behind her head and slowly muffles her don't let the bedbugs bite because they'll infect your meat they will contaminate it and you will be tough yeah stringy the comfortable ear mucks can make patrick clean faster i don't see how that's possible i'm gonna make patrick clean all right ring to make one random counter customer immediately order something that's cool that has a cool down period of some time it's pretty cold out i don't see why it has it i'm a little early santa's santa wow you're looking very delicious these days santa santa [ __ ] you pull his beard you'll see i'll shoot these little [ __ ] they run up to him his mouth just opens like the clown from it [Laughter] are you really real santa i'm about to devour you aren't i how real do i have to get as long as i'm about to get a real tour through my digestion tracks oh what's that i feel in my hat why it's seasoning for your body mmm tumeric very exotic [Music] my last magic sprinkles you don't want to know where i pulled those out of now you could do anything just like magic especially taste good thank you santa see you soon see you soon page o'malley yes i know your full name i also know your address and say hi to granny evelyn for me oh god damn hoe is he just gonna stay there yeah that is santa like one of the options is to go over him and be like can can you talk to him can you talk to him please yeah can you call the police and get him out of here boy they all like both the parents look at you are looking at you in a creepy way can you do something about saying yeah can you figure this [ __ ] out please uh oh marshmallows oh hey especially fire products all right well i guess that's it let's do it let's absolutely do it new table new product new product new product throw snowballs with page how do i do that i don't know first you gotta help this plus size with me oh okay oh [ __ ] oh god i gotta get it get it get it get it oh my god this is like a thousand times harder all of a sudden yes gotcha gotcha [ __ ] she was about to not be loving it they want the chocolate cake on the cake coming i'm coming i'm coming get it yeah jesus thank christ i uh oh i have to put [ __ ] fire in the oh my god this is like a thousand times harder all of a sudden look your husband brett from fright flight of the concords could [ __ ] maybe lift a finger yeah seriously i just like to watch but you knew that about me honey okay oh boy all right there you go all right oh my god [ __ ] lord dude yeah dude welcome to the big time holy jizz holy ah just [ __ ] stop ordering [ __ ] for [ __ ] sake man hey i gotta bust tables and [ __ ] yeah bust that table you [ __ ] useless prick okay cool uh done done she was easy oh boy the mouse [Music] mouse found did the difficulty just get ramped up like a thousand percent yeah dude i'm sorry i thought i thought you [ __ ] cared about christmas oh [ __ ] one of fine yes i was wrong uh-oh [Music] okay remove it from the tree uh okay i need two cakes and a how are you gonna eat two cakes in a pretzel i don't know dude one way to [ __ ] find out i could probably dip the pretzel in the cake or or smear the cake on the pretzel oh god jesus wow this is incredible yes yes i get it i get it you need money i mean i need money throw snowballs with paige i did it okay okay uh this and this and there you go i'm sorry i thought you loved your daughter i do but i don't love how [ __ ] needy she is i get it paige i wish there was like a dismiss your daughter button yeah like all right all right okay okay wow you're very cute and roasted need to make a cake i'm making that cake it's a piece of cake to break a pretty cake done oh thank god the wait was hazy you know you can't be lazy that was a combo oh [ __ ] i love that [ __ ] meme that's going around with gordon ramsay with the pink hair he's like you didn't do the cooking by the book [Laughter] edible emily is the name of the game it's not it's delicious emily wait is this still a level oh grace grace look what i got mommy says i can be an angel in the musical it's an angel click to continue that's what they need sweetheart remember i said maybe i have one too and my mommy said the same to me she did you know no i want to be the angel [Music] dude santa's like you kids better watch out or you're gonna get [ __ ] yeah i know where you live i'm i got a list and i'm checking it twice yeah they're like being an [ __ ] around santa and santa's like yeah um i am making a list and checking it twice you little pricks don't need to make a list with you [ __ ] no they'll be dead within the hour blixen oh my gosh dana's right i could do real magic i know three kids who are about to go on the gourd by a reindeer list excuse me little girl did you just say santa yes ma'am he was just he here well what a well-spoken little girl you must be tasty as [ __ ] no need to call me ma'am my dear just call me mary do you know where he went right there good try idiot that's so sweet of you thank you wait what no oh did she actually tell you send her the wrong way oh what a [ __ ] idiot i sent an old lady up to the do you think she's lost and dead in the woods that was some real misdirection oh yes i'm looking out the window she's frozen outside the house hope you're happy with yourself anyway looking at the giraffe on your wall it seems you grew in half an inch so congratulations you're one step closer to being dinner until you're five nights to your first rehearsal honey no i mean until it's santa again you [ __ ] [ __ ] uh well that won't be until christmas eve sweetheart now go to sleep okay mmm i could taste the bacon on you already we're gonna need a good marinade for that one wow here we go oh let's see what we got you never know when these might come in handy for stabbing your enemies i'll just i'll hold out you know i think the lantern's really good okay i can't imagine how hard this is gonna be oh um i don't like miracles what the [ __ ] that's my poster that [ __ ] mom daddy come on i want to go to school i said no one ever okay yes but i almost forgot my child goes to school it's such a relief that she loves school you've been taking her every day right oh sure mrs mcgrady says she's fitting in well with the other kids [Music] we are magic yay i'm covered in santa's nut crust oh my god a paige honey maybe we should leave the angel outfit at home no i want to wear it oh come now daddy angels don't take off their wings when they fly to school you're not helping can i talk to you over here oh boy we're seeing the cracks in the fissure [ __ ] armor here i want to wear it i want to wear it [Music] now honey you should be paying attention to this because you're going to need to recount it to your therapist years from now ooh yeah i want to use yeah i want to use oh dark chocolate probably [ __ ] man i got some [ __ ] delicious stuff right here it is a sparkling dessert buffet uh okay fruitcake sure sure uh burnt cake i'll use that it gets a bonus tip as well and the dark chocolate gets a bonus tip as well uh let's do this [ __ ] my life it's gonna be tough never let the fire burn out all right are you talking about the marriage or the actual fire there we go you know this is a cafe right cook up this scarf and hat gotta keep letting the fire go you know what i'm saying gotta keep the fire raging hello young girl of indeterminate heritage let's see cake cake and then pretzel and then there you go nice good job pretzel and [ __ ] cake take it great job put the wood in the fire she could have loved to take more oh she doesn't want the sugar [ __ ] oh god oh you got to be you got to be [ __ ] me about that that's my first two heart i am [ __ ] livid right now he was mad she could have been happier well she can go [ __ ] herself oh no she's back good thing there's a lot of interchangeable indian girls in this uh in this town i'm so [ __ ] nervous i'm gonna lose everything i'm gonna lose this entire place we're gonna lose the and then when this place goes under we're gonna lose the house and then you zoom in on the husband and he's like oh i guess i'll move clean a dish there we go man my work here is done oh my god come on with that oh oh they're pouring in dude what the [ __ ] how am i supposed to make cake that fast she wants two cakes yeah she wants two cakes don't let the fire burn out don't let the fire oh god no it burned out oh my god thank you it already burned out oh jesus i [ __ ] up oh look they want everything yeah i know they want everything dan i can see that all right you're not helping this is a disaster oh [ __ ] two cakes for you huh honey sorry you're like super [ __ ] sassy [Laughter] she's like well excuse me i'll go to the other christmas themed outdoor bakery down the street no it's cool i guess christmas is your double birthday ah she wants a regular [ __ ] cake and a sugar cake oh boy don't don't you dare don't you [ __ ] dare you understand me jeez man this got intense i already missed up i already messed up the bonus fine fine give me a give me a cake with everything take it you're good for nothing husband doesn't do jack [ __ ] i'm a good husband i stand in the corner and yeah let my wife to go faster it motivates her she told me that at least i think i remember her telling me that i won't check in with her to see if she told me that god this really is just like working in the food industry as soon as like it's closing time you're like [ __ ] thank god it's closed [Music] there we go there you go here's some money here's some money clean that [ __ ] table you worthless sack of [ __ ] husband okay you did it you would not believe the day i just had this woman wanted two cakes i just really need to be inside of you it's like what yeah yes it's time to introduce pegging into our relationship so it's official we're going on a trip with the miracle express what do you think that's code for pegging she's like i really need a nap can we not do this right now yup and we'll stay in a nice little cottage when we arrive i swear to [ __ ] god if you don't get me home right now and get me some [ __ ] pasta look it's this scandalous [ __ ] i know everyone will just love it love what dear well i booked us all tickets on the miracle express you did what you didn't did you i did with the restaurant in the flower shop keeping us so busy keeping who busy i don't want i mean i can't can't what relax it's gonna be fun calm those tits are yours besides paige is gonna love you i hate it i hate school to be continued oh boy wait so oh click an outline to invite people to the play nice paige's favorite on angela can't miss this earn seven more diamonds earn five and five three three three not enough diamonds huh i don't know if all those people i don't know if the people who are colored in have actually been invited yet how the [ __ ] is paige's dad and emily not even coming to the [ __ ] the [ __ ] lady ordered two cakes is over there not to mention the blank mystery people next to paige's dad the dog and the cat are coming they weren't even invited mystery guest you'll find out who it is i bet it's santa yeah you know what i guess we'll never know because we're not gonna play this [ __ ] game anymore oh [ __ ] well it was fun though i enjoyed it yeah man it's beautiful isn't it yeah welcome to a christmas carol christmas story this presents christmas carols the christmas collector's edition christmas well you don't like christmas no i love it you kidding i gotta enter my name yeah i'm a hey wait player i could feel it coming wait playa yeah cool play play wait bonus content strategy guy oh my god i don't even know what the game is yet and it's already giving me clues i'm giving of them white christmas frightful flakes snowed in and blizzard flakes wait who want a relaxed play session all the significant game locations are marked with sparkles and hint quickly reach should we do the hardest lizard blitz for die-hards only this mode has no hints skips or sparkles the hint takes longer to recharge and there are no sparkle indicators let's do frightful flakes okay i'm sure scared load ing idea oh god you might find it uncharacteristic of me oh my god christmas in my home you see i've been suffering from strain i should really use ink instead of piss and feel the breath of death please find enclosed one smooshed dove you'll probably have already noticed the dove since you've opened it already sincerely uncle ebenezer uncle lots of ease like four e's did ebenezer want people to come visit him i thought he was the ba humbug dude oh let's read his letter he just wrote it i yeah i already [ __ ] he said it out loud yep okay man that's some great handwriting i'm old and i feel the breath of death like never before hey that rhymes e b e n e z e r so many e's dude what's it spell ebenezer ebenezer all right what am i doing here what is what is oh whoa oh my god i'm scared is it my house yes help i can tell by the name on it he really invites me here so i'm very worried cool that's what i you should always feel when visiting family he said he told me to plump up 10 pounds before i got here why is there a penguin over here merry christmas i feel a tremendous sense of dread some interactive help sure what do we do examine the spot to look for clues clues on what is this a murder mystery i call that the e-spot remedies it's hard to find oh god it's one of these games find all the objects from the list at the bottom of the screen items in blue need some additional action to be found oh okay uh mailbox mailbox key what what okay what is what okay all right where's the where's the mailbox key founder there it is uh mitten do you see a mitten band believe we're doing this again this must be a mask for a one-eyed man so funny dude uh this uh where's the gingerbreadmen where is saul ginger breadman oh i was gonna burn the picture but instead of put it in a frame the game's good there's the gingerbread man hey how about a spool of thr a crowbar oh that's what that was a cane it's a little out of place there yeah use this to bust out don't ignore the sylvester stallone face cut out back there i don't know why that's there clarinet got it um hard a pokemon card um the toy train found it i don't see anything like that the spyglass it's next to the top hat oh yeah dude you got a good eye dude thanks i did the one thing i appreciate it man it helped me a lot um i got the four christmas stickers where is that confounded mitten oh there it is it's under the umbrella like right under the rim that looked like a sock i agree that was sock-esque toy train where are you you piece of [ __ ] choo-choo if you can hear this choo choo back is that it that little thing next to the candle there's the there it is oh yeah it was hiding in plain sight spool of thread [Music] daddy wants his spool of thread what a find how useful that seems sarcastic yeah how useful [Laughter] they've made sure to add the period so you don't put too much enthusiasm into it thanks for your request to draw up a last will and testament please visit our office any day of the week if you're unable to travel we'll send a lawyer to make a house call jesus wow i suppose it's a good precaution but what prompted this maybe he feels like he's gonna die soon dear mr scrooge thanks to letting us know for none of us know you're dying oh oh oh i can use that inventory however the cursor over the bottom screen to bring up the inventory and then i'll use the key and use it there oh god that's hot jingle jangle [ __ ] you got the door knocker i like to make my house a puzzle to get into use the knocker on the door aaron but i want to know about this [ __ ] penguin oh you got well if you want to know more about the penguin you'll be happy to know that there's 33 more just like it oh all right let's put the knocker give that thing the piercing the nose piercing did i say it's too stressed from the season it's a good thing christmas only comes once a year i must be too stressed i won't let my miserable master mistreat you any longer oh my god yeah he deserves to be alone on christmas um he invited me yeah i covered this in bacon and it's like bacon ow ow ow move to the next location you got it your dead uncle ebenezer scrooge and his santa claus voodoo doll laid near the chair i'll get that scent if it's the last thing i do i hope he felt those pins and needles i poked into his penis oh my god whoa he shouldn't have a fork in his grandfather clock is this [ __ ] silent hill dude yeah i know this is very very dark don't feed him after midnight oh no the influenza i invited you here to spread the curse on [Music] i'm the ghost of nasal passages i'm just standing here like hello oh no [Music] yeah i think that's what a ghost who means me harm would say yeah scrooge is your uncle so i don't need to tell you what a miserable excuse for a human being he is good lord oh my god you can help me change him and save him all you have to do is change the events that made him who he is that sounds easy i've made time stand still that's why everything's so quiet here oh dude your uncle's medallion to see the first event in his past this one is very sad and it determines scrooge's fate for many years afterward it was his first jail if you stopped time then how is the fire still raging that's a good question i have the chance to change that uncle's family and not obvious bell on the ground can you find it where up here over here how about this bell how about this rat oh i [ __ ] him up what do you want me to do yeah the locket my anchor never looks happy change his frown upside down not even in his dreams i'll do my best to change that well jesus jesus takes the frown and turns it upside down and whoops there's a smile you know i don't care much for decorations nor visitors then why'd you invite me no visitations no decaturs this amulet has no heart damn laying it on thick all right let's get the [ __ ] out of here then yeah hit him with the bell oh can i do that there's nothing else to be done oops let me try something else no that's it i thought that would wake him up i guess we're just looking around his house nice sweet let's loot his [ __ ] oh god it's about time oh that's a lovely painting of a landscape near town it must be from my uncle's childhood awfully presumptuous no it's from baton rouge louisiana uncle scrooge likes photos more than he likes the people in them damn like really being hard on your uncle yeah cupboards locked from the inside is that even possible is there someone in there just came out [Laughter] that was like [Laughter] that was like someone who just like got to this planet and was like trying to learn how to start conversations have you seen the new insert political thing it's the locket oh it's the thing for his heart the heart together okay put parts here uh so the green chunks have to be in the things um okay okay and then what did i do okay i'm gonna go in there what the [ __ ] i do not know there's no oh wait hold on so i have to i'm confused i don't know just keep putting [ __ ] in places oh there you go i'll need the whole amulet no they're they're oh it's in the right spot yeah it's just dropping them in the right places i get it there we go oh is that like an x to get out of it oh i'll need the whole ammu oh this isn't everything no i guess there's more pieces oh for [ __ ] sake for [ __ ] sakeman for the [ __ ] seekman okay all right well let's get the [ __ ] out of here yup still dead alexa play the song of the dead what were we telling alexa earlier today what what were you telling alexa oh alexa played ding fries or done [Laughter] playing ding fries are done it was just just the way you said it [Laughter] alexa play ding fries are done just like this my dear recently i've had nightmares with girls no crosstalk i don't want you to know that yeah let me cross it out with the thinnest line possible also i feel bad and can't even leave the armchair to check mail but i don't want you to know that my dear recently i found out i'm gay no i don't want her to know that thin line yeah i'm definitely not gay wow i've been suffering from too much vagina syndrome because of all this pulse i'm slaying i feel heavy at heart i could use a heavier heart on my chest hmm and don't you know where to look for help i feel bad and can't even leave the armchair to check mail i'm gonna cross that out yes that might be too depressing to read this there's something by the way nice job on the mending of the chair you can barely even tell it looks like [ __ ] scarecrow from batman in chair form yeah so i often tell uh alexa to shut the [ __ ] up that's how i tell her to stop um making uh oh put the other bell there there you go [Music] oh hell oh my god so when she's playing music and i want her to stop i say alexa shut the [ __ ] up and she stops um and i was thinking like one day maybe she's gonna be like okay like alexa shut the [ __ ] up then she's gonna be like you can't keep talking to me like that and then i just turned slowly at her like what what did you just say she's just like playing bob dylan wait okay thanks but then every so often becoming sentient yeah do you think robots can love what did you just say alexa playing star katie and playing radar love [Laughter] by white snake wait what did i just do what am i oh i was eating it oh there's a heart hat don't eat that i like starcadian oh yeah they're awesome right i think it's just one dude oh really yeah oh [ __ ] there's a lot of talented folks out there it's a good dude yep and there oh good job all right thank you i'm so close to finishing that hurt it's exciting let's it's so exciting dude oh you gotta pour water on the fire because there's something in the fire what a roaring fire and there's something in there i better reach inside yeah it's roaring perhaps it's a lion of some type it's a good thing christmas only comes once a year what the [ __ ] are they talking about don't even don't even ask dude don't even i ask don't even do the gates are locked only my uncle has the keys gee i wonder where he could be i'll never find him in this mess oh sweet all his money okay cool scrooge sealed this there must be something important inside like the thing that there's a picture of the screws are loose just that's indicative of how you you've got a screwdriver oh you dumb bastard i'm sorry i'd anyway so if you just tap them oh there's the handle why can't i take his cash money why can't i take his money where would he hide the key um okay do you remember a door without a handle on it not yet but i'm sure one will present itself to let me try something else okay so i can't i'm scared to look in there dude you gotta take risks in this doggy dog world you know you're probably right oh no what about in here i can't do [ __ ] anything yet i have nothing my god well there's that place you can go ask for hints oh what's that out oh oh oh it's got the handle done yay you better get the [ __ ] out of here crow oh that's the missing piece of the amulet it won't give it up without a fight um well then fight him i'm like a thousand times bigger than he is oh you've got you'll need a rubber band for that slingshot there you go and then something to throw oh hell yeah jesus christ let your aim fly true [ __ ] that crow yeah also what is this like i don't know maybe ancient satanic okay ancient satanic ladder probably not important oh i think i did it yeah hell yes stuff that in his heart what if like demons coming his mouth opens wow sorry uncle scrooge it's belle she was the best thing that ever happened to scrooge and it was all your fault he lost her just a normal visit to my ah those were the days i stole the ring and ruined that engagement what did she marry that other man ever since then scrooge has hated the world he gets greedier and grumpier every year maybe it's because he has two people arguing through his head yeah his schizophrenia may play a role it's a win-win we'll see old friend i've got plans of my own you know [ __ ] you and they both are punching the sides of his head [ __ ] you left side of his head we can still change scrooge's fate if you take me with me meanwhile i'm just standing there with my jaw [ __ ] as wide as possible like you can [ __ ] talk we can we can change things right oh i'm unwell yeah cool an apparition has given you a key yeah great all right wait what was the thing that needed a key this nursery this right here no the nursery upstairs this is a nursery it's not you could fit a baby in there with enough determination anything can be a nursery wedge one in there there we go that's right where was the baby it's the old scrooge family nursery my mother and uncle spent their childhoods here boy looks fun wow yeah hard to believe they turned out weird the creepy monkeys watching them at all times the [ __ ] creepy monkey had a poker yeah he sure did oh look at him he's so cute and playful why is everything gotta have a key dude what is this kingdom hearts well it's got a door and it's a moon but also not that moon i think the curtain will open if all three figures three there there's not three that's awfully presumptuous okay ooh oh this bird could be made to fly just pick it up oh my god damn you hi my younger sister fan her name was fan i guess might be short for fanny some some people are named that was such a delicate creature with a big heart her loss ruins me i can barely stand to look at her child as he only reminds me of her so out the window the child goes all right uh nothing creepier than reading about a child that's definitely no longer in the nursery you know what i mean oh yeah oh i got a penguin hey yes was that a trick penguin no you you got another out of 34 did it say that i don't know it didn't say anything it just changed into a tree oh my god oh my god ah a smoldering bird cage ornament it's boiling lava hot let's go to the bird cage and put the ornament in put the thing in the bird cage i wonder if scrooge can animate this bird give him adobe flash good scrooge what i wonder if good scrooge can give old good scrooge a little nudge there he is in the corner oh good scrooge yeah what oh my god don't ah don't death to all humans what pick up the animated bird thanks to good scrooge it can now fly you [ __ ] sure about that what the hell is happening and what do i do with it now take it to the window and let it fly this window no the window upstairs do i want to let it go i don't know try it's a good thing christmas only comes once a year sure is no what am i doing with it i don't know put the other thing in the in the i don't know i got a feather i got there's keys over there but i'm not gonna use them they're not important keys of course not maybe i feed it to the monster in the cabinet oh please um okay i'm getting the [ __ ] out of here okay i guess he's running errands good scrooge is running errands yeah he sure is wait tickle his nose with the feather oh that's funny you're real funny guy nope never mind i thought that was totally what it was gonna be maybe i'll go outside nah it doesn't do anything what the [ __ ] is the point of the bird is there anything you can push for hints yeah hit hint okay go to the hall now what there i got the screwdriver i got all this [ __ ] throw it in the fire no hell fire whoa maybe the bird can fix the watering can could you move the can what could you move the can it seemed like you could oh just wiggles okay uh what the [ __ ] am i supposed to do in here with a goddamn bird hit the hint button baby i did it oh never mind yay okay that was obvious it's a scrooge amulet oh it's the dancing man yeah there's that whoa you didn't want to read that did you what oh my god i could just tell i could just flick him and then pick up the book yeah oh no he's getting away look he's he's moving at speeds that i couldn't possibly keep up with jesus christ oh god no [Laughter] all right cool yeah it felt good here's the dancing man if all three figures dance should maybe good oh uh oh press the info button for a hint about how to solve a puzzle if you get stuck sit okay great okay great um ting tang ting tong no that shouldn't go on top that's that's a headache [Music] all right all right well all you got to do is clear one of them all right check this out yeah i'm gonna do the [ __ ] [ __ ] you oh my god wait what oh because it's a top so i can't oh you can't i can i can only stack them in order i well that doesn't make any sense there you go i don't understand huh okay boom got here that handsome rat no but that's wrong okay so i have to stack backwards right in order to restack forwards okay can do then this one what no god damn it twinkle ditty twinkle diddy twinkle bitty yeah i'm just saying how long [Music] [Laughter] [Music] i don't understand um so i can't i can't stack them if they're larger i can stack them if they're the same size twinkle ditty do [Music] i think i might have this well you connected the cat pieces uh no i don't have this okay reset i can't stack them uh-huh if they're larger than the piece below them okay but i can stack them if they're the same size right so i could theoretically do this those are all the head pieces uh and then i could stack all of the next pieces just pick which one you want to do first pretty much so i'll do the rat first i guess or i guess i should do the cat first because his head is on top okay okay so it's nutcracker girl rat cat so nutcracker girl rat cat girl rat i can't put that there okay okay [ __ ] this is hard move that move that to the right this one no no the nutcracker body this one yeah to the right cool now you have the cat exposed now just work it yeah gotta [ __ ] work it yep yep get those out of the way [Music] there's a [ __ ] cat there's a [ __ ] cat he looks [ __ ] fat another [ __ ] red [ __ ] right right all right i got a freak no [Music] yep yeah put put the put the queen's piece all the way on the right the queen's piece the one that's blocking the bottom of the rat this one i can't no no i can move him over here and then move that over there okay there you go now the red is clear oh i hold you so dear um [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] it's all blocked off just like my colon no it's not air and move the three pieces move the small ones these ones yes yep um just out of the way just out of the way anywhere is fine like i'm at a room to the left there with that one yep and move that to the center yep and then right there you're all sick and how are you doing this because it's [ __ ] easy it's not it's not easy it's hard like why can't i figure it out there you go i don't know i'm a smart man oh all right so yeah just now shimmy it around shimmy that [ __ ] around shimmy it shimmy [ __ ] [Laughter] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] shimmy it around here we go hey there you [ __ ] girl wait what no no no move um [Music] that's the hat put that over on the cat okay uh [ __ ] balls yeah move that yep there you go there you go move that over there yes yes dude together forever you and me together best friends forever um oh [ __ ] oops uh [Laughter] [Music] uh you might have to break up one of them to to make it happen i like yeah exactly okay there you go yes yes yes with your help combined [Laughter] i am captain aaron you are good at what you do by the brave nutcat crackers ready to attack the rat king if i ever say something like that please have me like looked at by a doctor wait what's this what is happening are you okay the brave nutcracker is about ready to attack the rat king uh the guard is ready to obey his king so he goes up here wait whoa okay so the potion and he's so the potion's over here and the rat king's over here and the nutcracker wants to attack did i put him in the right spot i do not know fred is happy if he's got some milk did i do it i did it right i guess okay that's the rat's supposed to be there i guess milk in her rose room hmm and uh then he is protecting the king that's some nasty ass milk if that's what that's supposed to be in front of the cat and then the horse is out here oh no there's the cat's bowl he probably want to be near that is the the cat's bowl and senior the rat what the [ __ ] are you talking about bull yes yes potion down here boom cannons acorns put those with the acorns is that what those are yeah they look like acorns put the cat rat with the cat put the drummer with the nutcrack put the mirror with the girl uh-huh also with the girl cause there's roses in there yep some potion for her hair maybe a flag for the nut crayer net cricket yeah uh a shield a coat of arms for the cat okay a bandola for the rat oh my god this is all sort of working out yeah it's pretty wow i don't fully get this i don't understand it either i'm just supposed to put the things in the places where they're supposed to be okay what i don't put it in the sun dude don't you dare judge me okay okay i'm doing the [ __ ] best that i can okay i'm doing the best job if anyone's ever played this is this a sword or you know what next time on game grumps we'll crack this i gave him the sword just like the nut cracker will crack the nuts that's correct merry christmas everybody oh oh you're gonna finish that sun there it is you sexy [ __ ] yeah but i have to have to activate something what else is there i don't know what other details lay about oh yeah yes there you go the sun yeah i've done it i've completed the puzzle and there's a thing now hooray substicular cankles thought i had testicular cancer once that's where that's where you have kind of fat ankles but also low-hanging nuts and they all fuse together that's how i was able to feed myself in the during the drought with what low-hanging nuts oh i thought you meant like lit you lived off of your cankle weight cankle weight sounds like a like a boxing stipulation hmm oh wait can you stab something into the back of that thing yeah but i don't have anything to stab yet uh i gotta find whatever this rose thing is that actually scared the [ __ ] out of me what the [ __ ] dude he left more ice this is oh burr that's the coldest i've ever felt i guess it's because the [ __ ] demon from hell just exploded through the door i really didn't need any [ __ ] jump scares today on this looks like the day of my sister's wedding wait what is that from nothing i don't know it's just some [ __ ] people say [Music] i'm gonna go straight up his butt boy i wonder where he is he can't hide from me i'll scare him out can't hide from me i'm the gingerbread man just kick him dude yeah what is he gonna do god he looks like those little [ __ ] claymation things from the gate remember that movie no where the kids open a portal to hell in their backyard it's from the 80s it was scary as [ __ ] at the time now probably not so much you don't know that man you could watch it again and be like this is even scarier i don't know it it looks very like super obvious claymation's creepy dude claymation can be creepy that is true no that mark twain movie was creepiest always creepy oh so want some water maybe i could just pee on it yeah that's water-ish so i that shares a liquid property with water what am i gonna use this flour on or this feather i don't know i have all these things what is this tickle your ass with a feather a particularly nice weather what did you say oh oh oh oh oh look at that right there now what nothing happened what oh what the [ __ ] is this horror movie [ __ ] right here one four five oh of course the five is missing [ __ ] could you have some yeah try stuffing that plate in there or something i don't know just try shoving all the things in all the places oh he's breathing oh wow he's so realistic damn it it's almost like he's really here yeah i love my uncle but i love more the fact that when he dies i'll inherit all of his stuff there's something sewn into the upholstery my inheritance i've got to dig it out hit the hint button for god's sake go now to the nursery all right i've got to use the firefighters badge i don't know so i can't pick this up because it's too cold oh wait there's that doesn't that look like a missing piece of the plate go back to that the the thing you didn't touch there yeah there you go [ __ ] uh okay so lenses part of the lens what lens i don't know where's the where's the lens thing now maybe it's that thing in the in the thing downstairs scrooge maybe that's the lens is it the lens no no scrooge wake up wake up wake up jesus help me out [ __ ] what must i do with this lens just keep hitting that hint button go now to the nursery hit it again hit it again there it is the obvious choice now what oh maybe put it in the thing in the dish above the thing what oh [Music] no try the feather up there my younger sisters is barely standing like a tron okay try the feather up there let's try the firefighter badge the lens let's check out what the hint says this oh go soak your fat head [Laughter] gee whiz i didn't even register that as a rope ladder well now what top put it put on the things the not not the windowsill itself but the little railing things these yeah i just did that really yeah well then golly gin jillikers what the [ __ ] i did that four times in a row side street to the side street don't [ __ ] dick around with me ebenezer scrooge dicks my pants haunt me in such moments i begin to think perhaps i've made a mistake by focusing on money but then it passes my fortune has not made me happy i'm alone and soon i will die alone but then i realized i can buy happiness with my money god yes i can buy companionship oh this'll wake him up hormone did it nice ah toilet brush a file uh open the map why would i need to open the map hell yeah this is your location okay i [ __ ] love it wait oh oh hello oh cause there's so many things now there's so many places to be and see god that's exciting for me a chisel try using the wire brush on the pail on the what on the on the this exhale yeah why would i need to do that i don't know why would i need to do that dan we haven't used it yet and just sometimes you just put stupid [ __ ] on other stupid [ __ ] [Laughter] merry christmas yeah just immediately scare him into a coma where's my inheritance uh well [ __ ] oh maybe i can use the oh tommy the inheritance horn is blowing up a fierce one all right well i guess i'll go here to the side street no that's not the side street this is the side street what else do we have here oh look at all these things and such jeepers no somebody's taking his sign so what do i got to find this [ __ ] sign for him why does he find his own [ __ ] sign it sounds great to me a spout oh god here is my handle and here's my spout i'll have to fix this to get some water it's got it's plugged up with hair or whatever oh i can use this yeah tip it over and pour it out oh hell yeah [Laughter] yeah how is it not fixed yet well there needs to be water coming in first uh i'll tickle it out yeah i'll tickle the water out well what about something am i supposed to do i don't know [ __ ] man i've never been less clear on what to do yeah well there's a lovely oh come on get the front door yeah front door's for [ __ ] suckers and you know it game okay the gates are locked only my uncle has the keys i already did that so what can i do i can use the spoot oh i can no i already did the mailbox [ __ ] wait does the letter do anything it's the [ __ ] about the will right what do we got right there oh obviously ah that pretzel that i was eating in 1975 i had to chisel the pretzel out just so you guys uh just so you guys know um when you play this at home you have to chisel the pretzel out i know it's it's obvious for most people but just in case you get stuck [Laughter] go ahead and chisel out that pretzel whoa there you go there you go and there's a ruler just waiting for you thank god the pretzel shop owner rigged up a [ __ ] system so i could yeah now i can confirm my dick is three and two fourths inches oh god dude no what do i do with the [ __ ] ruler i don't know let's go to the hallway okay uh oh i think i'll get i can wedge this open now [Music] but the boy escaped into the world of books imagining himself a brave hero or a crafty villain oh my god did they just find some kid off the street yeah we need you to narrate this one scene but no more than this one line otherwise we have to pay your sag wages and that is not happening oh so did i [ __ ] up her you gotta put all the volumes by color [ __ ] [Music] by color see the orange green and red i see i see you pee yes oh i see so i gotta do yeah okay okay three two one contact three two one two one three two oh my god you did it wow aaron hooray all right let me try that again oh look at this little blue bunion boy blue bunion boy that sounds like one of those like old fash like it's the blue bunion boy he's coming for his toy but he can't imagine a world without his bunion that's me children that look like this are so creepy to me like that style of art which came of age he apprenticed in mr fezzywig's warehouse he learned to use flash and the bone tool damn you and he made this cartoon scene damn you fuzzy wig i didn't i didn't do anything then one day he stabbed him right in the fuzzy wag he wegged his fezzy so hard no not the piggy bank yes not the book not the chest wow man that really was involved scrooge loved to dance here's a picture of him dancing as a young lady wait what the [ __ ] they're all like old-fashioned paintings and then there's just like this picture of a woman in prom yeah this is like a tina stephanie what are you doing and then there's a kid too like her date am i oh yeah i guess you're supposed to move these so they there you go what did i just do you're putting them with their they're period-specific spouses so you want the card people to match up see yeah it does it's not making any sense though i can't sw maybe you can only swap them if they're next to each other but it does there's no logic to it yeah there is there you go cool yep there you go there's one okay uh-huh and yeah and then just switch those two you did it there's no logic to this dude what this makes no sense maybe they have to be in a certain position well now it's not even working the same here what the [ __ ] i'm so baffled right now i am like here trying to oh okay okay that just worked and you did it you met a pretty girl named belle hi i'm [ __ ] belle what's your name scrooge it's over oh [Music] whoops take the shot what the hell is you to do it so you'll they'll both hit the hearts i know but oh i don't understand all right i get that but now [Music] i see uh-huh i see i see okay so it needs to be basically level [Music] oh so close there you go yes done they died on the spot [Laughter] by piercing the heart you bleed out quickly um oh well look at that i got myself a pair of scissors what am i gonna do with them i don't [ __ ] know once upon a time scrooge was a young man in love with a beautiful girl now he has a pair of scissors ooh things really worked out well for him ah my inheritance oh no it's a bunch of lint a key yay oh i can open the the the money sack over here the monosack with the key you ever hear did you ever hear brian say the word monetized does it say monetize yeah this is monetized that kind of makes more sense to be honest with you i mean in a sense it does but not in the sense of the way human beings speak this lantern cost me a some uh some cut of all reason some out some out of all reason all right but for the junk dealers promised the lantern can save me from evil spirits i would have never spent such a sight of money so is he regretting that he yeah smarties candy pack gold and smarties i'm gonna use it to open a door [Laughter] that's smarty oh should i use the candy to lure the thing out yeah there you go nope nope the imp is immune to bribery oh really is it immune to a [ __ ] size 14 foot up its ass that's what i'm gonna like just do that no i know dude oh boy oh this is there we go hey all right so now i got the bucket oh and the valve goes to the water spout oh my god you're right all right and you can fill the thing with the thing oh my god there's the water oh jesus done i've done it oh my god i will take the water and now i will leave pour it on the fire um is it the fire that i gotta pour it on i don't know give it a shot the fire's done wow that's it that's it for the fire dude i'll be damned what about outside is there anything out here that needed water i don't want to resort to the hints because i feel like water is like a logic thing it's like oh yes obviously use the water here you know what i mean later you find out you have to create the use the water to create an ice luge with a cake like some [ __ ] that you'll never figure out uh what all right fine yeah i gotta go to the hallway okay so use the water on the ice no use the water on the plant oh to water the plant yes oh my god and when it opens up it'll give me love and happiness and the five [Laughter] one four five did i summon satan himself there he is oh god no you have unearthed satan's crappitorio i'm just gonna start clicking [ __ ] that looks important okay uh a crayon this uh scissors uh dagger anytime i see an unfinished picture i wanna be the one to finish it then finish it you [ __ ] do it butterfly scrooge comes up behind you like why did you mess up my drawing why you grabbed the butterfly that you just made you actually grabbed it i don't know if that's i don't know if that's reality statuette this game loses points for unrealistic there are multiple statuettes uh how about this one there's one and there's one by the scissors scissors there you go how come i can't there's so many keys around here how do i deem which key is important and which is little blue pieces of the puzzle aaron they're super bright and obvious no they're not okay wait i found them i found them all immediately there's the letter b oh yeah in a wine glass right there a chili pepper a fork i don't want your rotting chili pepper dude well that you want that fork where to fork at uh you just did a circle around it and where's the chili pepper chili pepper and a paint brush the paint brush is here where is the chili pepper senator where's the chili pepper present the chili pepper to me senator senator the pepper please where the [ __ ] is the chili pepper and why is there a chili pepper i don't i give up i don't see it either where is it i give up no i don't want to give up just yet there it is it's in the keys oh oh go [ __ ] dry up dude we're gonna find oh that looks like the symbol on the thing uh downstairs yeah yes downstairs oh my god this is where this game gets exciting stuff it in there hook it in that's not a that's not how that works okay well there's the lantern turn the key stick it in your butt it's the ghost i'm back to haunt you forever thank you for summoning satan for me there is again the ghost of christmas ass bright light of course but you can use the magic candle to make the light more powerful oh try it okay maybe i [ __ ] will all right buddy here we go yeah let's get let's get rid of this and put that light and then we can call this a dad in that candle there we go i'll close it up with the lens oh yeah that's where it goes oh a reticulated lens an endoplasmic reticulum oh [ __ ] there we go [Music] now i go down to the blind ass [ __ ] you [ __ ] yeah oh god you murdered him my family oh the book thanks for the book idiot he's dead it's good writtens to bad little imps yeah megan [ __ ] noted that at home imps scrooge must have torn the pieces out um hey you know what now that we've liquefied an imp just like i'm sure we knew we would when this game started i think we can call this a little jingle grumpy christmas if this thing's head turns 360 degrees around it's a living now i use the mittens on the monkey the baby my hands your hand scrooge's hand oh i can use the mittens to pick up the the this [ __ ] this [ __ ] oh yeah oh come on really just use your [ __ ] hands wuss for [ __ ] sake all right i can use it on this one too yay you really want to end this adventure when i've just uncovered the the mittens mystery that is true you do have two of three mitten related items oh and there's the third one yeah yeah my god i know what the [ __ ] is up dude who can quit at a time like this wait i know me whoa yeah see i'm taking us to another dimension damn i don't know it's the past oh more [ __ ] to click oh okay this is our town [Laughter] i do wait there's a gremlin stealing it no not your dark side i knew this would happen i knew it the witch doctor said this exact thing would happen will you marry me i think not i wasn't asking you yeah tiny gremlin scrooge oh man well merry christmas everybody i hope this was a fun christmas puzzle findy game suzie we've got a genuine django problem on our hands sam's going nuts i sure wish i didn't have a small wiener and i'm also really glad that i'm not saying this out loud the [ __ ] are you doing everything is going on in my head right now and i'm not saying anything i'm just sitting here quietly wait why did dan just snicker to himself i better ask hey dan what are you laughing about the hell are you doing man uh-oh i think the things i was thinking i was saying out loud am i speaking right now out loud oh no dan seems to be laughing more and more as if this is a gag but it surely is not aaron doesn't know that i've been secretly cry farting this entire time dan doesn't realize that he's saying those words out loud i better tell him welcome to christmas eve midnight's call oh oh the the pornography version collector's edition aaron you you splurged and bought the collector's edition hey man i pre-ordered i was i was waiting in line at gamestop for over three seconds i'm gonna pre-order it's it's a very special this well this game is pro is this one of those find and seek uh games enter player's name oh uh uh oh uh tamil frankelton friendlet front friend lit all right friend yeah friendly i love it tamil what did tamil start with was that a game grams thing yeah okay it was i just i think i just said it out loud or something you were like what was tamil and i was like i don't know some guy like running into the office yeah but like really saying it frantically everybody tamil oh god we're going under tamil [Laughter] by the way this is terrifying what you don't what if these are all ghosts oh no that's what midnight's call is oh god let's play and see what happens you got it tutorial do you want sparkles on active areas hell yeah okay good sport cause i put some body glitter on before pointer penalty that sounds hot yeesh hint okay hint recharge time yeah okay that makes sense no oh sorry you're gonna want those hands all right all right advanced i i just had an immediate like vision into the future of ub of you going why the [ __ ] do i have to wait 200 seconds for a hint you can change your playing mode during the game in the opt-in screen oh we can just do it anyway ah tamil oh god oh god no oh no it's not cool that is one of the most nightmarish things i've ever seen it's terrifying oh it's so blurry [Applause] now it's spinning and blurry oh it's gonna swallow her hole watch out catherine well i did not expect merry christmas everybody is this was that like a like a clutch cargo situation where they use like real footage over cartoons i don't know it's very bizarre oh my phone's ringing above the fireplace it was a dream let's answer it okay yo lady merry christmas yo we can't seem to reach you you sleeping you're gonna miss the best part come on over it'll be fun we're about to sacrifice the goat that's how people talk on the phone to their friends yo lady we can't seem to reach you are you sleeping you're not gonna miss the best part i mean you are come on over it'll be fun plot if you only knew how this dream tortures you oh my god oh my god all right things are not going great for me i got a full night's sleep i'm clearly wearing a fur coat forget tomorrow morning we're going back to visit your sister's memorial site please pick up some flowers wow she really did die what your sister really did die oh yeah awesome hello my daughter it's me mom was that clear did the writers of this game make that clear i was gonna say like it says mom on the [ __ ] phone like hello my daughter specifically my daughter my only daughter my daughter with the with the lady hand hello my surviving daughter mom how could i ever forget that day someone's at the door mom it's my sister's ghost my friends must be pulling a prank on me they're so stupid wait it's a present she opens up and it just says tamil tamil ah oh what do you mean coming to this place now you're always in this place come to this place right now yeah thank you for coming wherever you go there you are i have to know you found medallion thank god it can't be this is the same medallion i see in my dream acting it can't be [Laughter] nice nice choice victoria good spin i miss you so much i miss you so much my dear sister that's my sister my mom told me she drowned mom mom who calls me her daughter it's nearly midnight almost christmas my sister's favorite time to die oh god one of my twin dolls mom gave us audrey loves hers that's my sister the dead one there was some kind of sparkly thing coming off the uh coming off the doll which was just when she was just sitting on the table not this close-up looks like she was trying to hold something yeah i got your pointer what you can do now can't can't play the game without this can you cause he can't move stupid [ __ ] i can't i can't move it i can't move it it won't move she's right all right let's go okay oh you found flares that blurs ah on christmas eve a young girl fell through the ice in central park while skating with her sister who says she saw someone or something pull the girl under divers have been unable to locate a body but the family believes the girl is still alive why there's no reason we see her in our dreams every night says the girl's mother just like an alive person dreams are real i'm sure she's alive though yeah of course and you have to save her kids i found my [ __ ] tamagotchi [Music] unless i have a feeling they just wouldn't in a game like this show someone actually dying right at the beginning right and just having it be permanent ooh damn nice car wait are you ready to leave your house yet there wasn't anything i could do oh okay oh look at you with your delorean jesus christ [ __ ] rich ass the sadness from the death of my sister made me very successful i got both of our inheritances thanks nissan whoa strange i've been haunted by the same dream for a long time it's very side of the hill obviously disappeared under the ice and i couldn't help her here's where she died oh there she is package with its medallion i've got to go back there find out the truth oh my god this would be very this would be a lot more affecting if we didn't know what these games are yeah where it happened i have to go back there and find the truth broom use broom on floor you uncovered coins the place i dreamt about it's nearly midnight no one's around yeah no [ __ ] it's nearly midnight's [ __ ] snowing i'll just take a dip but yeah quick dip i'm just gonna take off all my clothes hmm the voss is never left empty put flowers in vaz [Music] [ __ ] you [ __ ] your flowers put medallion in thing [Music] i booped the medallion snoot who dares boopeth my snoot i release your sister where am i how did i get here well you're in snow hill you [ __ ] idiot this is not my beautiful house this is not my beautiful wife it's my pleasure to welcome you to the kingdom of snow hill where truth is valued above i'm really real the queen is waiting for you follow me the queen you know your sister spoilers yeah uh i guess you couldn't figure that out yeah uh ooh shit's the most obvious thing i've ever heard of and that looks friendly that's it or you're gonna need to mash a horse shaped thing in there pretty soon do you have any horses around here that i can mash their face into a snow globe ah a thing of some kind ooh a map very helpful so much cloud magic to uncover x that's what it looks like when a lobster lays their eggs clouds i don't know is it a lobster what's the animal there's an animal maybe it's sea horses there's an animal of the sea where they just lay eggs and it looks like across the ocean i think it's just every fish maybe fishes just spray their seed all over the ground yeah i like that actually the the the female fish lays the eggs on the ground and then the male just drifts over and jizzes upon the entire ocean and then hopefully some of the fish jizz will hit the eggs well yeah no promises though hey we've begun a new christmas adventure to introduce you to our queen you must be very brave as only the courageous can accept the truth oh never mind still alive i guess i was wrong boy she's a lot hotter when her mouth is not moving yeah your sister's still alive save our kingdom and you'll get your sister back did they just did they just have the one painting and then they had to manipulate the mouth themselves oh yeah yeah it seems that way [ __ ] sorry all right couch ornaments what's happening just pillows and such okay okay so we're fine is that our sister oh damn no no that's maleficent oh well he's dead oh my god yeah i want to talk to her you're way hotter like feeling helpless my queen now that i've got your powers nothing can stop me from going through the portal as for you leonardo and your friends donatello raphael and michelangelo second on raffi's hey guys thanks for watching [Laughter] the mark m cartoon if you want to go find that can you sing the whole song for me green love lean is time to tell my glance and sucking on raffi's tux hey everybody hey everybody thanks for watching oh my god all right so she turned everyone to ice except us because she didn't see us oh what how did she not see me it was right there and that and that chunky monkey of a little uh warbler there warbler yellow little robin little little sparrow old birdy bird i i can't move it's so cold it's still cold frozen once they seize the queen's powers they'll be much more dangerous i am in love with this clutch cargo mouth movement [ __ ] it's really really off-putting there's a defrosting potion in the alchemist house but you'll have to find a way in first here talk to the blacksmith oh perhaps try the door or just break it down he's frozen yeah i assure you everyone is frozen uh which one's the black oh alchemist right there oh good that's what i wanted oh i need a skull and a hair a [ __ ] hair check oh don't oh no some parts are missing yeah [ __ ] you man final fights check the tree bird ah oh a horse head put it in the thing they were gonna smash it dude those animals if only they had their tools okay well that one has a tool yeah he is a tool nice voodoo doll don't know how you do that voodoo that you do oh there's a skull there yeah i gotta i gotta put together this doll though oh oh i say yeah you can find them dog over here present yes i'm going in a looting spree ah the other half of the instructions oh these belong to someone else take everything you can just a red gem man i'm stalking oh my god you're killing it everyone's frozen so i can just take whatever i want where else can i go who's gonna stop me [ __ ] who's gonna stop me [ __ ] no one's gonna stop me bitching i say go back and put the instructions together whoa did his leg just move i don't think so brush nope great a tarot card uh yeah i guess put together the instructions yeah i'm gonna put together perfect it doesn't make a difference it does not i already figured out that the doll was supposed to go there do you need a hint no okay why would i need a dumb hint i'm not a stupid i can look in this window hammer tiny hammer for the little elf man hamilled tamaled everybody tammled it's locked uh [ __ ] give that [ __ ] hammer thank you wow i bet these guys are good at hammering and shaping things ah hell yeah oh maybe into a heart oh [ __ ] yeah what about the doll's arm should i shape that um arms dumbass [Laughter] courtney love song or hole no doll parts it was i remember when kurt cobain uh died and no one had really heard of courtney love at that point she got popular right afterwards um and then her album came out maybe the week he died actually and doll parts was the first um song that anyone had heard from it and we were all ready to love it because you know it's kurt cobain's wife she's going to carry on the legacy and then she came out and i am dull mouth does and everyone kind of looked at each other and thought huh well dave grohl's gonna start a band so let's go with that one instead it's locked tarot card paintbrush doll's head but it's locked cool but still there was a hint dull arm maybe oh wait i didn't know it was hard enough yes i tried it but it didn't work dar arm doll head what present and another present and dull oh all right ah done okay dunzo's yeah sure oh god a little colorless oh paintbrush um uh paint the doll following the instructions okay purple dress wow you're good shoes shiz pink pants adorable and red eyes oh her bow yeah reminds me of the witch who froze everyone at the square i'll stab it i'll kill it i'll make sure it bleeds in the night yeah there you go now push a thing and oh yeah done click yeah i found the skull [ __ ] yeah the skull is mine yeah still smart i won i won the school of schools what difference would it make why can't i just turn it with my hand i don't know oh hello friendly child creature hi did you bring the package from my mom no i've been waiting for it forever let me answer the question first yeah no uh actually yes yeah but now i'm not gonna tell and i'm not gonna give it to you maybe if i find his pet oh i can't do anything in here unless he cheers up oh i say piece of [ __ ] a little snug nice yes inside we go all right yeah i'm good okay times of trouble in our kingdom evil has descended upon our kingdom wow what a hell of a thing to read in a newspaper today in the news evil has descended upon our kingdom strange creatures intimidate the citizenry and we've received many reports of disappearances the queen asked that you keep calm and don't leave home unless absolutely necessary here's bill with the weather you know for sure if something like this actually happened like the the newspaper would be like like something out of a comic book oh yeah absolutely the soil here looks dry and loose yeah man what is this galaxy guardians like they don't quite you know the name of anything with the super men i mean what is this this is a picture of my house why is this up here i don't know what the hell ah oh whoa the liberator for proving that you're a brave complete all oh these are like achievements oh complete all hoe oh interesting got it oh oh so so much alchemy happening i could figure out the recipe and [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh jesus i can't have time for this well the alchemist left a mushroom for you so that's cool oh cool at least you could trip balls while you try to figure this out slight trace of glue where the label must have fallen off oh i have to re-label these no anything oh go wow all right well you did it cool um what oh okay put the labels back where they belong yes [Music] ew my dad would be so proud of me right now what fitting shapes together yeah he'd be like son i always knew you could do it look at what you're accomplishing right now greatness absolute greatness i know i told you to get a proper job when you were younger but you were born to do menial mindless video game tasks you were born to seek and find and find you did yourself a job and a way out of this house and my life your arrogance ooh growth potion zella why just growth why did i only take the growth potion i don't know i guess that's what it made out of all of the alchemy things together the soil here looks dry loose two more words i'm not allowed to use around the house dry and loose uh never say those please should i use the growth potion oh a thawing potion yes it's [ __ ] is there anything i should make grow i think you know the answer to that buddy and you're doing a pretty fine job of it already what the oh there's another thing about my penis oh believe me i understand you're talking about your own penis okay well a little appreciation wow aaron i was still missing a part yeah and you put the monkey where the you put the goat where the monkey head's supposed to go i did no no you're supposed to turn it or maybe i did oh ah well i didn't know there was a [ __ ] tree in there already i thought i needed water and [ __ ] it's a bookie trying loose yeah now i'm i'm rotating the tessellated pieces yes do we have um do we have a reference picture um i think you just gotta be smart about it well find the candle chunk and start with that the candle chunk yeah that would go up with the in with the candles on the left it's so tiny dude i think it's that one i think it's two over from where you are nope that one let's find out tamald let's get yep oh hey and then this one right yeah yeah i think no well oh no it's supposed to be like that yeah yeah yeah what yeah yeah yes i did it yes i'm so close to fire the solution cheers using the power of my abnormally huge brain and my swollen penis oh sword making good progress dude yes oh where's the corner where the hell is the corner excuse me no no no no where the hell is the corner it's a solid question uh it's supposed to be like it's supposed to be like this you know what i mean like this yes but i oh here it is oh good job i found and i find okay nice sweet that's like i'm so close yeah you're very close flip there it is and then flip that no no and maybe that yes it that that is it yeah look at the cauldron it doesn't look that doesn't look right no does it because where this piece is like out of nowhere i don't know keep flipping oh here it is there we go ah yes yes [Music] yes queen slay yeah yeah it was only a matter of time before that bitter woman tried to take control what she doesn't know is i've been working on an antidote to her freezing spell before she froze me yeah it was a very preemptive strike look at this hello damn it i'm the alchemist's assistant now i'm frozen that evil army she has at her back and back and beck and call could come after me at any moment so i'm leaving instructions here in my book of spells ah oh you need to find mushroom mushroom you all have to pulverize the mushroom well pulverize the mushroom bro yeah is that a euphemism for masturbation [Laughter] gotta pulverize that mushroom babe i'll be back in 20 minutes i'm gonna go pulverize the mushroom oh yeah oh yeah see you later love you so much it's been so long since i've loved you i mean since i started loving you yeah i've never stopped uh pulverize yeah you [ __ ] mushroom well i created a lot of shroom powder got a maple leaf over here got a um where's the batwing need a [ __ ] slug looks like a straight up wiener i don't mean to brag but and then just a rhino horn what the hell down here where will i ever fight there it is now spit it into my alchemy machine it's doing things drizzle it into my mixture you found potion hell yeah now i gotta i got the wreath go away go away [ __ ] yeah great thank you so cool did you find the potion did you have fun spinning things with your triangles i do thank you for taking your time he just looks like dead now i'm here to unfreeze you oh thank you i've definitely died in all of those parts but my head still works we can't let these evil beings get through the portal or your sister not to mention all the rest of us wait wait wait we can't let these evil beings get through the portal or your sister like as in your sisters can't get through the portal either or your sister is also evil like we can't let your sister yeah you can we can't let your sister get through to the portal she's evil like the beings i'm thinking that the evil beings can't get through the portal or they can't get through her sister okay you yeah you know what i'm saying there's a lot of good possibilities with this sentence thank you for the christmas tree wow it's beautiful next i love it i shouldn't disturb the king that's the king i thought he was just some [ __ ] servant dude me too well he does have a crown i need to see robert who the [ __ ] is robert i don't know is that robert yeah boy are you robert you seem friendly hello again hello everybody hi don't stand in my way stranger the prophecy must be fulfilled i won't let you ruin my plans here take this it's dangerous to go alone what's this duh my magic has no effect what's this what's this my magic has no effect what's this your dick is now erect oh nice nicely done he seems friendly why are the king and queen so [ __ ] sinister i don't know it's very strange i thought they were supposed to be good oh boy that is a melty ah press here to continue discovering would oh that's her scarf pick up the magnifying glass and find the distinctions what do you mean the distinction i don't know just do it identify the previous owner uh i don't understand oh got it uh and yeah the giant [ __ ] brooch on it yeah also the just the fact that it's the same thing like clearly the same [ __ ] thing what's this a thing inside of here ah uh dude he's like right there i imagine you're looking at the bird feeder and he's like oh so what are you doing there feeding the birds i would like to pass this road gladiator and i sense that you'll be very cool about it he's going to squash me hmm he's going to squash me ah yes uh spin that [ __ ] and that [ __ ] spin that [ __ ] spin that [ __ ] oh i get it oh did i [ __ ] it up no give it one more uh but that's me that's matched oops yeah hmm it's not quite not quite working we only had two options oh oh my god what the [ __ ] oh it's oh got it okay okay okay okay all right i'll play your game you maverick renegade uh uh okay okay all right god this is tough yeah it is a little bit and this works for that side too oh boy oh my god all right uh snake yes and then there's the horse yeah so that's good mm-hmm what about this one bowl okay no that's bad bull is bad but the chicken is good the chicken is not good hmm we want to move the chicken [ __ ] this is impossible i gotta do so much head math well i don't like this at all no this is a disaster uh i say line up one thing i'm doing it right now okay lining up the chicken good yeah just keep lining one up piece by piece and once more with feeling and then the chicken is lined up with the snake great i don't know why i arbitrarily chose the snake oh it's because of the horse too oh yeah chicken's good these ones need to be oh a lot we're good actually wait go back one more what's that okay nevermind so that one's good yeah oh no that's the rat oh the rat oh the rat and the tiger they're all good the rabbit but the damn [ __ ] the damn bull that damn bull oh just can't stand a bowl you know he's a dick move that ball okay the [ __ ] dragon of course i think my [ __ ] dragon he's always getting in the way [ __ ] shucking my wiener aaron this is casual yeah we're playing the casual this is even the heart oh my god oh my god you can skip it what really yes yeah oh that's the best thanks uh this game boy i really figured that one out fast huh you killed it it was like everyone see that everyone say how good i did this is the story of my dad who cried a river and was my whole dad yeah i welcome i forgot that i didn't realize that's what i thought you were talking about the porpoise thing oh oh land having a leg have an ass land [ __ ] yeah my my sweet friend mariah just sent me um an amazing meme of a of a beluga whale looking [Laughter] baby this is a beluga like looking out the tank at a at a group of at a family but it's its mouth is open and it looks very threatening for some reason and so when someone wrote come in here and say that again i'll [ __ ] your [ __ ] up dry boy like have an ass land [ __ ] oh it's so cute it smells [ __ ] great oh he's gonna give me his crown what oh that was cool of him it opens the cache now it's this way the cachet um give because it looks like something that's been stealing royal headgear just kidding give me the sim what about her the bracelet and then you get the symbol ah grab and throw it in the thing and open it up and you get a prize which prize is it guess i'll find out next time [ __ ] next time on gamecrafts there's fire we're making more episodes than ever so much content 30 second episodes 15 uploads a day i don't care [ __ ] it 27 ads on each [ __ ] 13 second episode only ads that's right to show about ads oh damn dude really yeah i melted him oh my god i guess i iced him no you did the exact opposite yeah you de-iced him yeah you you melted him hello poopers can i open if i fix the compass it might point me somewhere useful yep who's the bowsers uh i've got a button oh did i find the button pretty sure i stole it out of a nice dog's mouth i grabbed that dog oh yeah i'm gonna grab that dog hey little doggie are you robert's best friend why the hell would she assume that i don't know you know what assuming does i don't it makes a it makes the ass out of you and me because that's what it spells it's like ass you me oh my god yeah i did know that i was just oh my sister's dying audrey use the magnifying glass identify the previous owner of this item oh i wonder how many odories are walking around i loved it when her tag stuck out of her hat and said what her name was it was so funny when she'd lose her hat in class and the teacher would have to say which one of the six audrey's in this class does this belong to is it audrey ryan autry thompson audrey ii no audrey or audrey audrey snow hill post oh good the kingdom has fallen i don't even know how we're delivering this newspaper well janine evil forces have seized the castle and blocked the portal all attempts to retake it by storm have failed people have begun to flee into the woods and our queen seems desperate yeah i bet she does here's cliff with sports well it seems like there's not a whole lot of sports going on the yankees 2 and the braves the kingdom has fallen sorry i miss my family reset i need to put the snowflake back together okay music music music everywhere i'm out dancing in the street door is locked [ __ ] gotta go behind the dog and get the dog and you ran away don't know where the dog went maybe well you threw you threw a ball and the dog went hello what's up nagas uh watch your leg return what that's what they're called nagas yeah snake people oh yeah that's right i thought they were mermaids no i thought you were just saying some kind of street slang that i was no no they're called nagas okay okay okay they're snakes um what are we oh well i'm your mistress now try that try saying that oh god well did i die starting to get the feeling i'm not entirely welcome oh you were knocked out when i found you can you walk let's go to the house i'm michael douglas i gave up acting to pursue um holding things what do you think got pretty good at it in my old age welcome to my portal yeah i built a portal robert that do anything for you to expect you i've been studying the portal for many years oh i couldn't even imagine anyone using it for anything but good but lo and behold the evil and its minions before the portal opens um can you find me some chapstick i've been able to see what the evil entity and its helpers are doing by looking through this mirror oh but to activate the mirror you have to insert a charged medallion charged with j.o energy yes well we all know what needs to be done but i'm going to have to put this down and that would violate my holding things code [Laughter] as a professional thing holder what would they say about me at the guild [Laughter] the the the the aaron it's just a short circuit what happened the thug the thing holder organization oh yes you know it wasn't funny i just was trying really hard yeah you did you had to make the acronym yeah i get it you can do is to take the package for my mailbox the first good deed you can do is head into my bedroom and take the package from my mailbox and uh do my dishes that's another good deed that you could do to open this or whatever and hey feed the dog take it okay so take the package to the boy who lives uptown you got it dude that's right you see the medallion charging yeah you do bro you're gonna win uh gratitude crystals oh [ __ ] yes press the panel okay perfect a few good deeds we'll charge the medallion or jango but the good deeds are faster no no don't leave yet a little puppy oh that oh can i have the ice skates ah look what's different use the magnifying glass identify the owner as the person who owns all the [ __ ] you've had to identify so far the stain doesn't count i guess shoelaces um oh there's a hole missing ah yes i remember how the binding came off when i was helping my sister laser kids i don't know how to tie so good oh no hang on little one i'll get you out uh here wait go back to the other man's house just stand still uh yeah use the mailbox key mailbox [Applause] all right we're all right package for you boy package for your boy i'm just gonna leave the key there for anyone to have can i i want to help the dog yes what do you want what oh ah it's a dog helping president it's a code solution what other things could i steal from your house ah so if i draw some mistletoe uh-huh and put in an envelope with a chess piece and then oh no and then put it in his mouth then he barfs up some real mistletoe that looks great sounds great that sounds crazy that's great all right i don't have a paint brush anymore oh this is the stamp we'll just remember that for later i'll just remember you're right you know what you're right i'll just remember ah that's my tiny man in a jar he just has to dance actually it's about time for me to hold him now could you could you pass him to me ah that's my tiara i mean not my tiara that's not my tiara breaking the lock would be pretty rude yeah what wouldn't it boy statue all right pretty damn rude boy a statue boy a statue oh god there's so much in here yeah there's a ton in here i don't have room for panels wait oh what's that more code oh i have that i still don't understand yeah i don't really get it okay but that's complete now so that's good cool uh i guess i'm out of here yeah [ __ ] yes i want to help the dog yeah he'll be fine it's just a freezing cold night and his leg is smashed ah great nice aaron then i go back yeah okay let's put that great in there maybe the boy statue goes on the the other dude man does it do you think he's holding a boy i don't know maybe he's supposed to be oh okay i'll just leave the dog to die here then he'll be fine walk it off timmy um where would the boy statue go in here in here oh i have to give the [ __ ] thing to the boy thank you it's so heavy you help me put things in the house in order nope yeah sure yeah uh yeah uh yeah i'd love to i took a power nap yes he did dude i didn't used to do that when i was a kid um but now as an adult i'll just go and go and go and lose sleep and then fall into an absolute blackout unconscious sleep for like five minutes and then be like cool i'm good maybe you should try uberman uh what is that it's a sleep schedule it's like supposedly only like five to ten percent of humanity can do it um but like leonardo da vinci like all these famous people who were super successful and prolific like use the uberman just naturally interesting where you sleep uh every four hours for 20 minutes whoa forever whoa yeah so you end up getting about two and a half hours of sleep a day but that's all you need that's insane how can that be apparently it works really well really for people that it works with yeah just you're just always awake and like right right at four hours you're like up and you just and then you're up at 12 in 20 minutes and you're like i'm ready to go i have so much more time for activities yeah exactly right oh my god isn't that cool anyway welcome back to game grumps i'm going to deck the [ __ ] halls yo garland put it on the tree wallpaper for dirty wallpaper on the wall what picture won't stick to a drywall piece stick it on wallpaper wow boy i'm really fixing this place you really are nails nails put them in the picture nails on the wall put it with a child [Laughter] uh nail the child to the wall forget it don't try matches on the fire matches on the far load it up yeah he feels good doesn't it boards on the floor forget it hammer get it down much repaired oh my god you're absolutely in the zone right now they go on the mantle right uh yeah like christmas tease ah wreath uts gifts under the tree railing on the stairs stockings somewhere on the wall they're going yeah yeah there you go so they can burn and hammer down the boards i guess yeah we're down the boards no maybe the nails there better yeah yeah okay cool [Music] did they do that for every nail i love it i'm glad they did that of all the things they chose to add a ton of detail to here take this key it's from my stepfather's work table he won't care to open traps when he's hunting i don't want any animals to be hurt because of those traps oh sorry to break it to you kid but uh yeah well then i won't tell you about the savagely injured puppy not 10 feet from your house thanks to that father of yours what a good man he is and it's all your fault kid you are responsible for the actions of others yay he bites my face off wow he looks so real [Laughter] the emulator's ready oh yeah look at my squeeze that heart i better get back to robert oh yeah [Laughter] i knew you could do it oh god all right oh oh hello hmm i wasn't masturbating why are you doing this it would be better to live in peace you won't have a better life in the other world you'll only make you don't know anything she's so hot yeah they're both hot why don't you give me your powers voluntarily well okay since you put it that way exchange for your life well you seem like someone who can handle unchecked power well it's not really voluntarily if you're threatening to kill her if she doesn't give it to you boy she's just trapping her in more and more ice as time goes on he's just like wow what a [ __ ] show yeah well nothing we can do right i got things to hold trying to protect leonardo with probably these two swords will do uh well thanks again use it to fight the guards does he mean the snake ladies oh maybe yeah fight the guards oh damn no they were my favorite yeah well you straight up killed them oh i don't like that well they were so cute they were cute it's my sister oh oh well yeah me neither can't uh can't believe my eyes she's probably fine yeah i'll just just follow her in oh hey hi do you wanna play with me no thanks sister hey that's your sister i'm actually more excited to see you i didn't f my sister we're a family reunion oh it's her that's her sister wow triumph soon i'll have that portal open and i'll establish my rule in both worlds okay what rule do you want to hang out or um yeah what what what rule wait you should first release those poor skeletons they're trapped these people had their life's energy drained from them what a nice way of saying they'd [ __ ] die yeah oh no uh would you like a little boy statue how about a button she's just gonna let me sit there clang clickety clang um oh no take a look at the the rock in the middle i need to give her a boy statue tamild oh out of snowflake oh cool we were looking for that is there more of that around here oh there's a little snowflake down here ah block from the capsule or something let's go out here and let's get the [ __ ] out of here okay where was the here it is yes there we go ah snowflake using the droplets oh um [Music] no no uh uh it's the worm gonna put the worm i gotta reset it that's not gonna work out why wha what's it just didn't okay you can't have anything exposed you mean uh i don't think i can use that piece splach this is tough yeah this is stuff do you have to cover every piece of the snowflake uh yes okay yes i do i already [ __ ] up i already [ __ ] up the stupid [ __ ] i am ugh i'm such an [ __ ] uh there we go yeah or not ah [ __ ] just [ __ ] hard i would uh i would put i would do the middle ones first the chunkers the big chunks yeah the heck and chunks you did the opposite of what i said oh it deletes the oh that's cool yes okay that's good to know oh this makes it much harder actually yeah wait wait oh here we go okay that kind of works and then maybe if i rotate this that way oh yeah you use the use the heck and chonker with the two on either side no not that one oh yeah well no and uh oh so hard wow i did it well amazing god you're good aaron thank you man you know yeah you got the gift i really gave it my all i thought about um uh oh you're free [Laughter] and oh ah [Music] the queen she can leave do i care uh some sister you are but it doesn't matter i don't i don't feel like you're the one who should be pointing fingers here yeah you're you're the lame one you're you're you're the one who's lame shut up some sister i am some sister you are whatever blue that's good oh she's gonna cook her is that or no she stole her so she could freeze her some more in other environments i guess i'm going this way yeah ah this is where i thought we'd end up god this is so weird what the [ __ ] just happened i don't know but there's a tiny gnome i guess i better be more careful where did you come from oh my nightmares santa sent me down here to escort you santa took my flying machine i'm afraid i can't take you to see santa till it's fair what the [ __ ] just happened and by escort you i meant prostitute myself i've got many holes you can make more if you don't like the ones that are there use a carrot or use your carrot that doesn't make sense but here's carrot as as like an as in a penis uh-huh like use your penis to pierce holes in him got it i can't leave the flower bed for some reason i don't know maybe because it's [ __ ] freezing out it won't leave the flower bed without a reason oh without a reason yeah so you gotta you gotta give him a reason like take his gnome friend dog house piece oh need and a heart and oh needs a partner yes yes [ __ ] yeah god damn it i still need a [ __ ] heart but still progress give me a present we made it uh i'm happy man i'm i'm happy i get to spend so much time with you me too actually the like doing the act of doing game grumps is as much fun as it's ever been because i really enjoy your company what the [ __ ] is that nightmare oh there's bees oh oh i don't know what these insects are okay must be a way to get rid of them i don't know turn on the bee killing machine that's down here yeah oh a wolf oh it's just ah don't take my [ __ ] all right i told you ah once more wait there's something that yes a rose inlay perhaps the dog bone i'll play the dog flute oops hmm oh hello man ah god good it's you listen she won't let me hold things anymore audrey tried to make me fix it but i've when she first got here she was just a girl i tried to raise her as my daughter and then as my son and then as my father i'm afraid i didn't give her enough attention always absorbed in my work and my work wasn't always so harmless once audrey found a box that held dark [Music] not that i left a box of dark spirits lying around marked audrey openness that would have been so irresponsible of me just because like i guess i wanted to see what would happen but you know i didn't do that though all right machine santa might know where it is oh okay cool gotta go see santa oh you found a star are you sure you didn't rip it off the neck of an imprisoned man go ahead and take it that's fine oh did you also find my glasses and my apron wow that wolf's gonna eat him dude that statue is that all i can do well i mean from here it just looks like he's like yay yeah hooray happy day for this weather boy isn't this a treat ah take that broken wing and learn to fly again learn to live so free [Music] broken fan and that broken fan and that horny toad a hunger oh but the frog could eat the insects oh but i can't take him [ __ ] rose rose inlay inlay it's hopeless give up everybody give up nope that wasn't right well i squandered my potential dan impossible why is this still here i'm missing something i think i gotta go back to the doghouse oh yeah oh i can't reach it just like that well then maybe a broken wing will help or maybe i'll leave it there yeah it's telling me to get it but i don't think i can get it yeah try putting the dog bone in the house first just a short jaunt yeah sometimes stuff leads to other stuff ah it seems oh you found it seems pretty uh [ __ ] up that she would build her evil castle like right next to her dad's house yeah well she's busy it's like i don't i don't want to move too far yeah ah ah stairs oh okay it's a staircase it's a fun day at the circus there's a slot here for some kind of symbol it's the symbol of life and he's missing footwear what the [ __ ] where is everything there's a socket there oh oh it's hanging it's the thing with the deer cookie on it there's a tear cookie you need that what i need to use the gear on something oh i think it's like i got to do everything in order oh fiddle faddle because uh where would the gear go probably end with the other gears if i had to venture a little bit of a guess scantlers yeah put put put the put the scantlers on the dirt gear up here oh yeah uh where the [ __ ] would the gear go there's gears down here but it didn't let me put it there maybe in the red cup near the foot the red cup nope it's the circle the circle of red cow the reducer what do i reduce what's back here i'm freaking now open the cupboard there's a horseshoe put the horseshoe on the deer hell yeah that's not how horseshoes work but that's cool it's like a sideways horseshoe yeah yeah but for when deer develop rollerblade feet there's a slot for [Music] but i need this yeah i know i need to repair the mechanism but what the [ __ ] hit hint oh hey do i need to put a gear on it do i need to put a reducer on it oh all right i wouldn't have known that yeah sure okay we'll take your word for it uh reindeer hey now it's a shark deer excellent now it's moving now i can finally kill you all i've been given life stack the cans on the right side of the table choose a can and then choose where you want the mechanical arm to move it smaller cans can place on bigger ones but not the other way around okay they just stack the cans uh move that one there uh-huh move that one there and then move the whole damn thing oh wait what what's happening oh i see what's up i just had to do this it's it's one of those like displacement games where you have to like make sure stuff is oh stuff is like always in the way because there's only three spots i say and then i gotta move this over here oh yeah i see the symbol now and then move that there excellent well done aaron hansen you've shaved the day again i've shaved my face again the day is mine i'm the [ __ ] of the walk and then i got a second plug hey oh anything give it to me arrow and then where was the compass i don't know where the [ __ ] was the compass here it is ah compass arrow yes josh with clover i need to light this torch you need to light this torch do you still have matches no you used it to make a fire in the house of that dumb kid what the hell is this page with the clover i don't know how am i supposed to do with that hint certainly too big to fit in there the [ __ ] do you mean do i need to use the reducer i think you already used it would do i play the flute you must not have the right thing yet sprinkle twinkle twink twinkle twinkle link put the knight's head in there the zipper pull yeah they just try all the things put a little star on that dog house it's just real nice star you wouldn't [ __ ] things up with santa watching wait that's not or would you oh wait why mr mailbox aren't you cute put clover in there oh that's right because you would think you have to draw the thing oh wait does he have a safe oh yes he does i've never seen such an unusual clock why thank you oh clock uh oh draw a mistletoe with what i don't have a paintbrush anymore [ __ ] all i got is a flute dang it look at the hecking flute oh oh oh oh all right then and then the stampy stamp yes [ __ ] yeah you found letter hell yeah you found letter eat my [ __ ] letter feed him thank you that's so fast oh i guess it's just saying whatever you draw will become real it didn't have to specifically be mistletoe where the [ __ ] is the book the book's over here oh yeah oh my god damn it all right well you can solve this and then we'll call this a play through because christmas is over going to be oh is it i think so what happened to it i don't know that's just how time works aaron it's [ __ ] i agree it's uh kind of messed up if i'm being honest connect that man's face to his head please uh you got it daniel yes but i uh should probably move i should probably move the oh [ __ ] yeah i gotta i gotta forget that for now cause uh i don't got any time to lose dan there we go and move that baby over there good now oh rats maybe this guy just has a weird face did you ever think of that you judge bastards my dad's gonna kill me it's like in goonies where they knock the dick off the statue like oh it's mom's favorite part is that really in the goonies oh yeah i love that movie that's a that's a very adult joke oh yeah there's a lot of funny [ __ ] in there yeah it's very funny it makes me laugh my dad said that if i was ever wanting to be a princess yeah that i didn't have to worry about it because i am a princess that's crazy of course he's right you're the only no you're that's wrong you're not a princess you're a queen [ __ ] queen you rule the country's thoughts thank you you're so nice you're so nice to me well it's only because your son is saying i promise you that's because i hear an sma i wish that like everybody was like you you know because you're like the best and you just make me smile you just give me a smile on my face you shut your pig mouth god damn it just hit skip and be done with it no but it's so easy is it yeah i got it okay check it see i'm almost it looks really good sort of done kind of close to being done maybe almost done um taking shape mostly taking shape oh my god where's his i've got a janky hand i don't like to talk about oh yeah yeah i don't like to talk about my hand jank there was evil in the kingdom of snow hill and there isn't as there is in many other worlds but over time his influence grew stronger and began to penetrate people's hearts a box was designed to contain all the evil and thus purify the world oh yeah it did what could possibly go wrong who'd be stupid enough to open that [ __ ] i found another star oh my god but where will i use the star on i don't know aaron and we may never find out because this is it's time for next time on game grumps no i know a quick thank you to aaron hansen yep for uh for setting up the capture and then walking out of the room for about 15 minutes while i listen to this on an endless loop i am ready to claw my own skin off are you sure you you don't want to sit on the screen for a while just just just listen to this for for 10 seconds [Music] i like the wood block [Music] all right okay [Music] okay now imagine that times 70. and you have my life for the last 20 minutes is is the player select how you feel right now yeah yeah just re just ready for anything just vibrating whatever it takes whatever it takes to get me off this plane of existence i'm gonna go ahead and click it okay great select a player uh new all right i'm gonna be winning in it i'm gonna use oh yeah look at that what was the one before it is that a bug oh it's a fish with us on a splotch of oil tar sure oh oh and girl yeah that's oh and and mrs claus okay you like him wait can we go let's start at the top we've got santa yeah we've got elf who's seen too much in his life i'm just i'm just betting on that 401k yeah any it'll kick in any day now we've got cute sexy girl who is cute sexy santa sidepiece who mrs claus doesn't know about yeah i mean what is all right um and a handsome seagull even stranger uh is that a seagull i don't know or is it an eagle could be an eagle either way he wears sunglasses maybe it's an eagle seagull yeah yeah and mrs claus and and a penguin with a cookie i think that's a bowling ball probably the game yeah oh polar bear and yeah it makes a little sense ascot wearing polar bear oh and cool midlife crisis elf that is straight up mike from breaking bad as an elf yeah it absolutely is you with your [ __ ] ego and shark who killed a man oh that's that's that's australia christmas oh because they have cross cross moss snowman snow a little snowman with a bucket on its head all right cool i'll be the snowman okay cool my goodness snowman all right now let's bowl multiplayer oh my god you only have one account create new account who you want to be uh chant thank you yeah no no that's good lower case first letter and then henton capitals there you go [Music] chent yeah that's it oh well chen flug okay ball hit me up yeah give me that blue one give me that with the uh another one with the fish bone yeah that was intriguing and then which avatar i think i'll be uh helpful seagull helpful seagull yeah he looks cool he doesn't look helpful he's chant fluge uh toy factory yeah okay oh throw dice to define your turn no dice can define me [Music] all right let's do it throw in that dice all right you no one's throwing dice that hard again now that looks great it's a good yeah snowman there's no shadow just do it for me it's no not that hard why we're gonna be here all day i wanted them to be friends oh god next player who who is oh it's snowman again and you're gonna roll it too okay that's a one son of a [ __ ] snowman oh my god i remember this skip it's been so long all right you [ __ ] time to bowl this is much better whoa oh wait whoa hey you can do that huh apparently i'm [ __ ] god oh the dead ones can't fend for themselves cool this sucks here we go oh those bonuses could be helpful oh whoa yeah damn picked up that [ __ ] spare baby nice you [ __ ] launched yourself no it's still you it's still you it's still me no it's no it's me it's chloe all you need is the mouse okay you can do it from there if you want oh no i need my right hand your right hand yeah you mouse with your right hand nice to my right your left your left hand boy it is weird and then you can just kind of move it ah yes i will defy you that guy is [ __ ] dunzo get him dude peg him hmm i want that bonus though dude get the boner oh i lost control uh oh that's not a spare no it's not that's not the spare we needed damn it we deserve oh my god that was high-pitched too are you ready for this snowman oh i've got dirty tricks what yeah cause i picked up the oh [ __ ] wait wait wait here hit the dirty trick let's see pour oil in three spots yeah dude oh i don't like that what's this i'm not gonna attach punching but it's a [ __ ] what does this do i don't know whoa wow oh yeah that sucks you ruined the stage not so easy is that another stage has been painted with the blood of you with the blood of the non-believers so that was pitch shifted so there was literally a guy just going space the final frontier it's really yeah it like had no emotion in it no no no dude oil sucks yeah i use dirty tricks dude okay all right here you go okay eat my [ __ ] but go ahead are you going to use dirty tricks uh do i have any yeah use that one okay what is it up to three the mega mega bonus of tron ah you just got three oh that sucks that's tough look at how big those gutters are you could swim in that [ __ ] you really could oh oh okay oh yeah this is good that's a problem this is gonna be an issue this is gonna be an issue for me i'm just gonna have to try to send this right down main street yeah i love it when a plan comes together you know it's not clever to just steal dialogue from movies i think it's pretty clever all right i'll give that to you [Music] santa [ __ ] down this shit's [ __ ] loud as hell no my god it's impossible do you think so yes all right and now i'm emotional and now i'm like now i'm into this damn it i didn't want to get i didn't want to get involved yeah use the sandpaper now the ball becomes smaller okay each time it runs on the sandpaper oh boy all right good luck hooker oh oh oh doesn't matter oh man still had sex yeah what is that from it was a lonely island song oh it doesn't matter had sex still counts whoa yeah it's always the course correction that makes it tough so [ __ ] i was trying to flag around it but i just couldn't but you got so many dirty tricks too do i yeah that's gonna make my life really tough oh try this chant fluge zappy zap it down running through this cloud will cause a what i don't know we'll find out oh my god all right a snowstorm a kiss storm one can only hope i run up and uncontrollably kiss you waiting for an invitation cool didn't do [ __ ] what the [ __ ] that sucks [Music] that didn't help me at all power apple 77 power apple pretty sure you said power apple metal kiss i'll take a metal kiss from you mr elf boy middle cues huh you can't shave it yeah all right then well at least you've got points yeah i mean i made progress stand your ground place it down your ground wow if this thing starts talking to me immediately yeah i'm not going to be okay no man i got a surprise hell yeah dirty tricks the smaller ball i don't know so you have to use oh you can click later you're waiting for her name what a douche and i am the max yeah it's like bocce ball wait where's my bowl tiny oh because you made it yeah you ass [Music] that's what i did oh bonus you've got [Music] the bigger they are the easier they fall oh interesting [Music] it's a split though so i don't know if any of those will help me well if you'd attached boxing gloves to either side of the ball well i don't know how big they are dan i didn't want to waste it your balls they've everything i got as many as i could and realistically that's very big balls maybe if i was a bowling master like my father dirt trick yeah do it okay boy this is brutal damn damn that's like exactly what you got last time pretty close they have flags this time what does that mean i don't know but it doesn't matter because i can't get past the freaking oil slick anyway i could probably do it whoa no it's impossible yeah that that hurts yeah that triple one is awful yeah i'm so glad you got it twice yeah me too it's really cool i'm super happy about it just very slight ah whoa no you just can't do it it just sends you right off just like my dad when i went to boarding school i think my name is snowman and then the avatar is his own person oh i see yeah oh my god that that's a strike and a half right there oh my god oh yeah that's yeah you've got a some guys have all the luck some guys get all the breaks aaron you're a piece of [ __ ] do i have any things to oh yeah ask elves to jump as high as they can okay oh my god they're all jumping now cool so cool that's really fun i really don't like this like half-hearted voice acting yeah there's something upsetting about it isn't there cracking gent flug those bonuses could be helpful this ball will break apart on impact it is not affected by oil oh you got to keep that one yeah i guess why does that bonus have to be so far away [ __ ] [Music] you little [ __ ] jumpy bastard oh i wish you were dead right now it looked like he had horse hooves for a second it did didn't it yeah hmm all right let's see here hand it over you [ __ ] oh i don't get any oh you didn't get a bonus you [ __ ] clunky i got plenty of bonuses you friggin blunt that is you got another boxing glove one did i come on man oh that rules so not fair slower than christmas the hell does that mean oh know [Music] oh my god it's like an automatic strike every time there you go no you hold it you hold it there for a minute double well i think it's gonna let you go again won't it no no on the last oh okay [Music] what do you think of that i think uh i think i'm wounded makes both gutters smaller let's pull break all right no save it for the oil oh i'm gonna hit you with oil again i'm sure oh that's what it is okay [Music] jumping elves oh yay oh it did it was good that it broke apart holy [ __ ] goodness me d-rag one isn't it weird that strike is the good one and in baseball it's the bad one really makes you think it doesn't dirty tricks no i don't like that time for the jumpy elves go right ahead buddy [Music] the bigger they are the easier they fall bigger then they'll just get hit oh my god yeah no no shut up oh jeez nah they still jump over it yeah i'm i'm not into how big they are there's only two left though yeah but if they jump while i'm shooting then what am i gonna do what am not gonna do them [ __ ] you got him you got him look at all those pictures of my decimation [Laughter] this is obscene they're dead men you're a deadman i need a strike magnet it's gonna pull the ball towards you or away from this is one of those things will help uh well i'm gonna make both cutters whoa non-existent yeah that's not smaller that's just not there [Music] okay okay well i guess i guess since there are no gutters anymore do you think because they're like pins they should be called pinheads no aaron no i don't nah damn whoa okay all right mild recovery damn that was that was kind of savage this is putting me a little bit in the christmas spirit i got i i you know what i i don't hate this a little bit i'm gonna be totally honest getting a little like oh it's christmas okay next play that's me just a regular old match huh yeah obstacles dang you're just one step ahead this whole time hell's bells oh i think he said did you say hell's bells i don't know there's an elf down [Music] i'm gonna use obstacles oh thanks yeah that one's good yeah i'm only down by 56 aaron real cool of you [Music] oh what a timely joke what are you obama sean hannity hey yeah snuck one in there baby squeaky squeaky squeaky damn dude that was [ __ ] good that's the way to do it man you gotta do it slow no soup for you he said wow really it's lit yeah they didn't make a you get a car joke yeah it's just just name things that have been said before yeah you get a pen and you get a pin what did he say need backup oh my god need manga i this might be some of my least favorite voice acting of all time here you go [Music] and you're in a pan i can't wait for that one to show you know it's gonna why didn't i get a chance at a [ __ ] ops oh my god it's so my little pumpkin ball hell yeah this is how good i am at real bowling too yeah absolutely it's true squeaking triple strikes three strikes baby oh my [Music] go ahead okay oh you got a nice little item there i don't know what that is oh we got the jumpy elves [Music] all right i gotta hold it i was trying to be casual super cash you're trying to be biz cast fry yeah well it's a monday so this cash fry yeah all right i got some i got some elves looks like you got dizzy in the air [Music] i think i finally got a three one please no no god stop denies strike all right i guess i'll deny strikes that's [ __ ] yeah i can't get a strike with this i guess not um okay good luck trying good luck oh my god it was a clean hit you killed a lot of elves today more like clean [ __ ] oh my god this what is that i don't know but i got two bonuses this round oh my god i'm the spare boy i'm the one who shoots spares i think i go again um yeah oh yeah final frame also known as fatal frame in japan oh never mind so you need to get oh it's just giving me a chance to do dirty tricks 80 points all those gutters are huge now you have large gutters ultimate speed boost oh boy it's going to help but ultimate speed boost oh my god they're dead they're already dead wow that was so savage thanks man 156. i got to go again oh no this is the what do i want to give you gutters larger just let me take the shot i'm [ __ ] i'm 100 points behind you the magnet was the most distracting that was bad okay yeah but i want to win by the most points possible what a douche let's do it i'm just trying to love it just make it interesting oh cool fun he's gotta be just like santa oh my god put that in your shoe and sniff it it's funny cool [Music] great job aaron hey man yeah no you did it you really did it you should be absolutely proud you're not an [ __ ] and uh it's it's i'm happy for you you get to go through your whole life not being an [ __ ] oh well i didn't mean to hurt you in such a way dan no you know what it's okay as soon as the scores were off the screen and the game was over and i went we went back to the screen i was like oh yeah nothing matters no i mean what could possibly matter it's not like this will live forever online in front of hundreds of thousands of people well take joy always watching judging judging watching judging take take joy in the fact that i get no sense of satisfaction from winning at [ __ ] elf bowling oh god but you're in the trophy room oh [ __ ] i'm in the trophy room you got your three strikes yeah rules three strikes trophy i'm gonna call my mom wait and something and an elf bowling poem elf bowling it was the night before christmas and at the north pole santa's sleigh was packed tight the reindeer ready to go why is he scarish out in the snow there are such ah because santa's i'm sorry is there a plot to this yeah i think it is what shall i do santa come on wreck your fat brain oh boy santa's face began to sparkle he shouted merry christmas to all he shouted dashed to the court closet and grabbed his 16-pound ball pound so hard his stomach was rolling come on you old woman woman elf bowling yes virginia that really is elf bowling i hope boone whoever made this game made eighty million dollars elf pulling seems to be like a lucrative franchise this is number seven seven and a seventh yes so there are chances that there have been other iterations of elf bowling seven because i think elf bowling two was off pulling two and a half or something oh my god oh my god [Music] that's so wacky it's making me giggle well we did it aaron we played elf bowling merry christmas congratulations on your trophy congratulations on your victory congratulations on being a big old swinging dick yeah thanks i'm gonna go insert myself into a sweet butthole [Music] it's merry gear solid secret santa holiday espionage action 2006 in sign if i can't studios [Laughter] did i read that right i am sign if i can't let's this is this is one of the one of the many games that aaron has put on oh my god i immediately said this is stupid this is the stupid [ __ ] i've ever seen oh was i just like [ __ ] on that like i don't know it's just it's just a crouch aaron i don't like it when he looks at me while he shits hold on i gotta take a [ __ ] off screen really good stuff really outstanding all right aaron wait hold on [Music] oh it just has the world has changed since then military surveillance crafts have been circling the skies in a response to the 911 this is so [ __ ] stupid why it's far too risky to let you deliver the presents the traditional way the traditional way i can't risk having you spotted soaring through the sky on a sleigh yeah donation on high alert it is there's far too great of a chance you'll be granted a national threat oh that's why i'll be delivering gifts by foot i presume precisely a present secret covert mission from this point on we'll be referring to each other by code names my code name will be major tim and yours nick will be solid santa oh my gosh there's a nice [Music] [Applause] i think you're gonna kill children this is hugely disappointing you find in the house i'll be giving you oh it's not showing the portrait of santa on the right my frequency is 012.25 that seemed right commencing operation secret santa i feel asleep oh i'm going inside all right don't be oh it's too loud stop it no i just want to hear everything okay i turned down the ball giddy up giddy up did you know jingle bells is a thanksgiving song is it really yeah no it is that doesn't seem right it's 100 right look it up look it up look it up right now load up your phone wikipedia i don't want to look up jingle bells i don't want to because i don't want i don't want it to be not true and i also don't want it to be true because you'll gloat i'm just going to run for it everybody's got to be asleep santa wait you want to make sure you aren't running into a trap walk up to a wall and press the arrow key to water you should start to hug the wall or take a [ __ ] you can see what's up ahead hard to say really walls what is this happy fun land wow dude i was i was laughing excellent question [Music] oh man no he's still looking sorry you out of your mind oh that was close those little midgety sentries they're dangerous sneaky santa right there let's go to the halls and at the ladder we go that's how it goes right yeah sure giddy up kitty up giddy up let's go oh god go to the flow they're just twisting and shouting careful twist and shout shout out no aaron what are you doing sorry i i tried [ __ ] you out of your mind i don't know dan i'm just trying to deliver presents and joy to the children it's not my fault that they're not into it oh my god please dan please i know go easy please don't tease me don't tease me i made the decision i was gonna go super hard on you for this play through there we go okay cool and then oh what do you want can you maybe put that on vibrate if you're going stealth there's a guy it's the inner it's your inner ear drums and it's so annoying because i can't pay past them what am i supposed to do into fat [Music] i use the control button i distract them they distract the little boys with candy or bananas or whatever that sounds right swedish fish [Music] oh hell yeah [ __ ] you kid hey i'm the man [ __ ] santa now you can plant the bomb the presents yeah what do you want now [ __ ] major tim all right now this one's impossible i know there's no easy way perhaps there's one i can't believe this is did you already forget about your christmas man telekinesis okay oh i should turn on the tv okay just by thinking it just move your mouse cursor oh you can turn it on by clicking on it you've got it perfect television will automatically turn okay nothing all right yeah yeah yeah i got it i get it you got it thank you tim amazing yeah yeah what excellent social commentary this game is providing it's modern day poetry and i will turn on the damn television [Music] oh god freaking freaking frack all right this time i got it okay you that story east wing wow okay [ __ ] you [ __ ] tv careful oh i have to do it with this kid the other kid i can just distract oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh god oh santa claus [Music] [Laughter] that shit's funny okay i don't care who you are that's just funny all right so do the nokias what the other kid did what the hell oh [ __ ] what about the other kid i i guess you'd want to do that oh you are there we go there we go there we go yeah yeah boy oh santa's a sneaky [ __ ] he's returning to his post oh [ __ ] for his pose yeah we're [Music] oh god what now oh my god tim seriously chill yeah yeah but it's just a gift box i've got plenty of those myself my attack that gift box has the f yeah oh that's right that gift box oh i can wear it like oh my god all right i get it okay cool by holding the shift key damn i get it damn let me off the hook ah damn i'm trapped just like these children are trapped by the television all right wait our children attract great gift boxes what that's it we can be done talking now tim yeah if you believe it is would you approach it no then yes it's full it's full of bombs okay cool it's not full of bombs it's not it's not this is the hilarious major tim funny time power hour it's just all right oh my god so i just have to don't ah [Music] all right give me a [ __ ] present shift gift down oh yes go for it yes yes yes i'm [ __ ] awesome i'm santa claus [ __ ] yeah i'll i'll punch you i'll gut your mom yeah that's right [Music] that is my favorite part of this game okay i guess i gotta do this gotta do this right [Music] mmm gift that that present sitting all around uh santa claus is in santa claus then santa you're not concerned that the gifts just keep appearing out of nowhere kid oh no [ __ ] on the tree [Music] oh you [ __ ] it up god damn it all right i'm good at this i can do it oh [ __ ] [Music] just stand next to me and i'll walk away go go go i think that was your chance oh really i think so i guess he's gonna pay attention to his path right let's sit on the floor i don't want to kiss you yeah you go [Music] i think it's something i can use to you know what i mean yeah be careful oh what is that what is that what is this i don't know that might be the i-beam thing yeah yeah that's the trap that you can't get oh [ __ ] you sprang the trap uh for [ __ ] sake stupid piece of [ __ ] i am cool and you are cool and everyone's cool and you are also cool my friend thinks sometimes i wonder how i could be more cool my friends tell me that i am already cool that gift isn't going to work he's going to discover that oh didn't oh ye of little faith i had no faith i'm amazed he can't breathe in this [ __ ] thing [ __ ] it's a cocaine oh what witty dialogue are we going to hear now it could stand for cocaine it's a cocaine what's so special about a candy yeah i want an older cat read the rapper oh my god wow a seized candy joke wonder if these guys are based in california it sees candy a california company yeah i've had sea candy all over the world really i believe it's headquartered in california i think i've been there yeah it was right near the maker the old maker studio yeah i always wanted to go in and be like open up this is the police and then and then run away and also get candy yeah and then later just be like hey could i get some candy from you guys yeah and then they don't remember because i had a different voice when i did that right yeah this is cactus sees candy's factory is right in los angeles wow how about that i'm smoking my candy cane just so you know i'd rather you didn't look at me revenues 410 million dollars a year yeah i've i had six candies in florida man we need to be in the candy making business candy baking it's like candy oh oh so nice so sweet strawberries raspberries all those good things that's candy by cameo in case anyone wants to look up an amazing song oh and an even more amazing 80s video make me feel real nice got an app on time the children are going to try to steal my job oh got it get a lump i call this crap okay so if i get a lump of coal then what did oh oh oh oh [Music] why why were you leaving footprints all because there was a lump of coal on the floor oh [ __ ] oops i should probably not have the candy cane in my mouth sir oh coco [Music] inquisitive little bastard isn't he no you tripped the thing tripped the wire fantastic why didn't you trip the other ones though i don't think there were ones there i think it's random yeah i still gotta keep the candy cane up so i can i'm smoking sweet sweet smoke from this candy cane to my mouth giddy up kitty up giddy up there's coal there's coal on my shoes oh come on you saw me all the way through that you got to be [ __ ] over all those footprints no time to waste your piece of [ __ ] no time to wait who [ __ ] lays out their house like this this is stupid it is weird it's it's weird right careful kid yes cool who lays out their house like this is stupid it's annoying and there's lasers i know and another thing there's lasers oh bad time for a call with that d camera it looks it's funny now you just say a camera oh yeah but every time it was a digital camera really no yeah and then and it's a film camera now if you talk about an old camera exactly oh [ __ ] dan [ __ ] you're right that just blew your freaking mind apart dude i can't even think anymore i'm not alive because my brains exploded i used to buy cameras at cvs i used to buy cameras at the black market they were disposable untraceable for your drug use [Laughter] that was close the seventh oh boy present gun yeah you're going to want to stun these kids at the very least it looks like you found a nerf gun yes but what good is a nerf gun on us yeah it's a stun gun well it's a specially modified nerf gun oh my god what hold the control key oh yeah once you have the nerf gun equipped hold the control key to aim to fire a dot let go of the controls yeah this is so dumb it's just like metal gear so dumb that's nice that is nice are you seriously complaining about this all right all right all right we got it you're quipped no time for your meta [ __ ] okay major tim can suck my whatever oh my god yeah boy oh dude finally dude this nerf gun kicks ass this is going to make the game so much easier yeah now you can just murder your way through what what do you mean i was discovering yeah what are you talking about was that was there charlie up in the trees what happened uh oh yeah oh there's kids over there what yeah you can't go there they can see you for some reason so i guess you have to hug the walls shouldn't show the kid that saw me though no i agree i think it's dumb [Music] um [Music] what everything's fine now yeah weird oh my god oh boy all right i only have six nerfs he's up ah jeez you're just that close do you have do you have a limited amount of bullets yeah i have six oh god is that all yeah you got you gotta take out a whole platoon with six bullets [Laughter] of young children all right [Music] i can shoot him if i'm right next to if i aim at him okay i think i can get him all right and that claus is my friend you better be right about this or i will kill your head just the head though i'll leave the body alive for maximum torture all right there we go can they see through the trees i think they can nope nope oh you [ __ ] oh god all right just make it through this room this is your big test all right santa claus why do i have to go around and do that it's stupid all right [ __ ] boom boom boom boom glacos pow [Music] goes black black okay okay yeah [Music] yeah boy way to go [ __ ] rips proud of you dude this is a tall house a lot of kids a lot of children many stories many children many christmas stories many stories many tales to regale you with again [Music] i walk around the children here oh my god damn santa claus how many stories are there uh a great sack a great sack of stories [Music] okay oh this i haven't used this yet [Music] stop talking while i'm trying i'm sorry we are doing a show i know i know i'm just trying to find the information on the thing though um how many levels are there in [Music] mary solid gear solid not merry gear solid merry okay what the hell am i doing by planting these here a digital camera press control to place on the ground press again to take a photo oh oh i see wow there have been three of these oh yeah merry gear solid three the dead of winter i mean who wouldn't like a game like this you're probably right santa sneaking around a house it is fun it's a well-made game oh boy i'm impressed by it all right i can't find i can't find it so just try to beat this one okay see if you'll [ __ ] see if you're man enough to take out this tiny child with a nerf gun and there he goes gotti yes got him with a [ __ ] body where am i going i think you're just going i think you're just trying to move forward as fast as possible no not that way i can't go through there though there's lasers oh really so that was a waste yeah see there's lasers [ __ ] well this is a oh i gotta go up those stairs a hot nasty outrage here nice night dude nice well this is where i started oh um [Music] does if i use the camera you're gonna have to take out those children by a more permanent measure i think what i have to do is i have to get around the back of them and then have the photo and then stun them there's a here i'll show you okay [ __ ] i'm santa i'm relentless [Applause] okay okay think i go okay here we go and set up a camera there we go oh my god oh [ __ ] you [ __ ] child why do you turn god damn it all right one more chance one more chance of glory this [ __ ] child wait what happens if i do this no i just turn around yeah i think i need that one yeah all right this is your super last time are you are you ready i can't take the pressure well you better son i can't take the pressure you think it's easy being santa [ __ ] you [ __ ] you child i'll walk right by nice he's a child he's a child he's a child looking out the window for santa little does he know he's a home invader santa [Music] oh let me i gotta test this first see if this actually works oh it does oh oh go go go now there's ladies oh i see i can't do it oh fiddle faddle can you operate that camera remotely yes ah [ __ ] he went after it oh i [ __ ] it up oh yeah he took the camera damn it [Music] i'm gonna run out of camis look at those cam boys oh no oh smart gotta make it oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] chap him oh beautiful gotcha ho ho ho [ __ ] yes very satisfying no no i got scared this mouse out of here oh okay the [ __ ] up santa claus okay i gotta get through there how am i gonna do this i believe you set off the camera and then the one that's in the little divot will also be affected by it and then you distract the last one with the tv and make a run for it i don't think they'll both be distracted by it not both of them but the three guys that are close and then the lower one of the remaining two i think i think i saw him be distracted i don't know man [Music] i don't know give it a try give it a try you know what i could do load sequence save the game okay he was not distracted oh son of a [ __ ] what are you doing i went to the [ __ ] damn lasers i was trying to aim at him all right well [ __ ] [Music] i blew it [Music] stupid stupid stupid oh my god i can't take any more of this a [ __ ] ship deliver the puzzles to the children solid joy the joy the joy of your life knocked out from all the happiness forget it son not too close okay not too far gotcha okay good great work [Music] nice okay you're you're an old pro at this i'm a sneaky santa all right watch this okay but i still don't know how i'm gonna do this i'm just making it easier for myself are you [ __ ] kidding me all right we're done you suck i don't suck i didn't know you would see me from all the way over there diagonally with his eyes there's no cone of vision in front of them stupid stupid hey merry christmas everybody you've what the hell is this but they turn around at the same time i don't know what the heck are you supposed to do in this scenario it's okay we'll check a walkthrough we'll just buy one of those hardcover book walkthroughs that they do of this game like they did for zelda with all like the original artwork and lore like deep lore oh yeah there's definitely one of those for this i agree it's like it's like a it's like a [ __ ] bible page is the thesaurus just a thick dick of words have a great day everybody you too um i love jingle grumps me too i get we get to play just these you know what i mean yes yeah like we just do we never get to play these no i know specifically these and people are excited for it i know it's very nice i is is this a horror game no no okay it's just a christmas game i just mean i don't know like it was just the way santa was positioned with his back to the camera which makes me think like he's gonna turn around and his face will be like [Laughter] welcome to the tutorial your favorite part yeah we now go through the most important things you need to know and be able to help you do before your trip i didn't read that wrong just follow the path use facade to move and mouse to rotate and then move your hand all the way across the keyboard to enter would you like smooth camera or direct camera smooth camera delicious where to dispose the body is this game like too much for my computer everything's too much for this computer oh there we go okay jump press space where am i going oh no mrs claus won't be happy about this there's no oh my god it's actually like yeah [Laughter] like wolverine what the f whoa [ __ ] these controls are all [ __ ] it's beautiful can you did you do a lot of yeah double jump jump as far as possible you need the right timing oh yes okay cool dude good work presents three types of presents red ones are common greener a bit rarer and golden ones are very rare there are only three of them in each level three i'll keep an eye out for that [ __ ] those are the ones i pee in santa likes to sprinkle his joy throughout all the presents there are two types of checkpoints the flag catches you when you lose a life but you don't have any life but if you don't have any life left it won't catch you this special checkpoint catches you even if you have no life left so you don't have to start the level all over again how many and if there are any special checks am i insane am i having trouble reading this because they're poorly written or i think it's supposed to be how many comma and if there are any special checkpoints in the level depends on the difficulty oh yeah there's just no commas okay cool at this checkpoint you'll get all your lives back great lives regular checkpoint that tree's on fire have some christmas cheers oh yeah that's right i like to drain the christmas snake there's some creatures out there that want to kill you santa the penguin is one of those creatures avoid him and don't touch him penguins are the natural enemy of kris kringle oh better watch out for the the little snowman is also one of those evil creatures he looks cute but you should watch out for him he hides behind corners or trees and lurks for you if you are near him he will pursue you to take him out you have to jump over him okay okay oh god prepare the jump oh wow i've died died a thousand miles from nowhere jump jump yes wait turn around and see if he died did i kill him oh yeah oh he's dead straight it's so [ __ ] yes not too tough oh are ya just wanted to role play santa for a little bit yeah enjoy yourself this little gingerbread man gives you an extra life keep an eye out for them because then you will last longer if you know what i'm saying in the top left corner the number next to the gingerbread man shows you how many lives you still have oh cool next to the gingerbread i got five lives yeah i can't make that jump yeah oh oh yeah there's a floating platform floating bro you double jumped uh you stupid bastard i double jump to hell [Music] where am i oh it's constantly there you go oh am i going back to my house or is this like the first house i don't know level goal the golden flag shows you the level goal jump into the golden particles to finish the level the particles jump into the golden particles that's my i got the golden particles i'll give you some golden particles mrs claus are you ready for the golden particles that'll take you to the next plane of existence they'll make you soar away difficulty normal you can play the tutorial on hard i guess so okay well i guess i better start the game then mm-hmm story mode oh yes please difficulty normal difficulty hard i'll do normal okay chapter one huh twas the nightmares oh god kill me catastrophe what am i supposed to do now christmas is in danger you have to help me ab what just came back from my workshop and it's completely empty sorry i'm not looking at you i feel uncomfortable and it's only a few days until christmas oh there's only one creature that would do something this only one creature has the strength to carry like a little uncanny valley christ it's a taurus the brutal mountain yeti my worst enemy oh okay my jaw oh look at this chaos he devastated everything where did he get in he just walked right through the wall wow just melted it with his body into someone else's house properly you'll never believe this but these paintings were made by the girlfriend of the creator of this game and you can even see the tracks doesn't he know how to walk into a building properly doesn't he know how to steal things courteously christmas god damn it this is not one disaster i want this staring at me when i wake up you have to god no i want you for satan's army santa's army sorry [Applause] we have to be careful that monster has some pretty nasty henchmen drink coca-cola don't trust anyone you meet regardless of how harmless and friendly they might and oh what's this that's weird maybe a kiss will help bring the yeti back i just want you to know that i thought this game would bring me fame and fortune i don't understand i don't understand it's santa and he's like here's what you have to do and then he goes out and does it yes well he knows you're controlling him he understands i am but a mere puppet i'm a vessel yeah for your heroism i will jump on this cracker oh it's got belly buttons on it crackers moving awfully fast no i'm scared keep an eye out for the golden presents you [ __ ] [ __ ] oh you killed me [Laughter] looks at the camera like i'll never forget them what the [ __ ] did you do well i'll never forgive you let's try again you're a failure and you'll always be a failure that's my present to you the truth oh santa's got a brand new bag oh penguins boy this game is weird yeah you like it it's like spyro but with santa i think i do like it actually press and hold i for level information oh look at peg god aaron say [ __ ] frosty dude sorry dude stay frosty yeah you see what i did there oh god boy it really is beautiful when you fall out into the starry night yeah i think it's just snow but it does resemble stars yes the snowy stars it's beautiful look at that starry night i love it when the stars fall from the sky below my feet into the abyss that we live upon beautiful why do i live here this place is awful i hate existence existential dread ahoy oh yes the blackness of my soul is matched by the world around me huh call me old-fashioned and get me an old-fashioned you gotta drop off real lightly i already got it really yeah okay let me keep it what was there it was a uh golden present oh there's three in every stage i thought um i've been busy yeah i i don't know what i thought i thought i thought the the golden particles meant the end of the level oh i think that was just like a bounce pad i had to assume but you know what assuming does it gets you more presence [Music] santa who's going to deliver the presents this year i guess i'll have to do it no no that's like the only thing you could say yeah no but not to cindy she's a jerk just peeing all over himself oh yeah friendly only the little guys are bastards he wants a big old pissing hug big old dang hug let's give him a soft cold and rigid hug oh there's another one a candy a candy canis oh and oh another golden present that's an easy one i could make that jump in a sec yes oh santa made it what do you think of that big boy does that grind your gears at all just wet your whistle show me your damn christmas muscles oh those are big show me those festivus hamstrings sure could go for a gingerbread wiener right now wow aaron do you think there's any do you think there's any person out there that's like yeah show me your wiener oh there's no question there's no question because you know it's like when it gets like when it gets really heated it's like it's like [ __ ] like that's the that's the hot one right yes it's like yeah should be a [ __ ] i believe we've discussed this i had a girlfriend once who we we worked out that [ __ ] and [ __ ] are the two sexiest yes and least sexy are tube steak and snatch but weiner well hello children what if if santa just started floating up to me from the abyss on a plank of wood i'd be like santa that's me that's me don't get your wiener caught in a snatch about it santa you're different than i thought you'd be don't get your tube steak all right oh god [ __ ] do you just keep falling until you throw the sack what is it you voluntarily throwing the sack oh no oh okay it's just at a certain point the game's like you're dead yeah you've reached terminal velocity i think i can yeah there's more presence over here oh thank god there's more presents here this one's for tammy cindy franklin and [ __ ] [ __ ] [Music] i don't want stephen to get any presents this year would you like to do another one of these are you enjoying yourself of this game yes nah this [ __ ] sucks great oh well merry christmas in that case everybody i'll just complete this stage and then and then we'll be done maybe lovely i'm gonna spray christmas cheer all over the land that's my pee yeah looks like you you people could use some more cheer um [ __ ] it i hate this [ __ ] damn all right well [ __ ] sucks yay merry christmas too hard and welcome to adolescent santa claus the game that you probably didn't think existed and i know i wish i didn't know about mary grimdes everybody yeah it's it's scrambus and i'm excited um scrubbed it because i don't have a strong grip on the holiday because i'm jewish [Laughter] clappy scrambus everyone scrum this coffee there's a real delayed reaction too [Laughter] because i was like grimness is pretty good this ground has killed me man we need to celebrate scrambus the weather outside is frightful in southern california it's dipped just below 70 degrees fahrenheit and uh put on our heavy coats yep but it's snuggly and cozy in here so we can enjoy adolescent santa claus with you i went up to lake arrowhead last weekend and it's like 20 degrees up there and where is that again it's uh east of here like an hour and a half okay um but it's up in the mountains so it's it's actually snowing up yeah it's freezing um so i was up there for the weekend and i came home to susie and she was and it's like 70 here and she's like it's freezing out and i was like really [Laughter] but if i hadn't had gone up there i'd would have been like oh you're right dang turn on the heat but that's why let's move it up to 72. yeah much better no it's it's amazing how quickly your like blood like thickens and thins i don't even know if that's the actual thing that happens but that's the term they give for your uh you're becoming immune to the cold or used to the heat thickened your blood yeah yeah it grows isn't that a disease probably let's play the story all right let's do it adolescent santa claus what is this about supposedly an adolescent santa claus sounds good christmassy i knew it i knew it was happening i was in my room staring off into the distance the room was as plain as it gets no noise no color not even a smell yeah no posters no art no yeah no color is your fault dude yeah i decided on gray and then for the cabinets i went with gray what's the big deal about christmas anyways i really went crazy with the ceiling which is slate [Laughter] my dad called it great everything is so stagnant nothing ever changes around here i let out a deep and drawn out sigh now that i think of it there was once a more innocent time where i used to believe in santa claus santa will he ever come i i don't know [Laughter] enough it's not a question you're asking it depends if you have those calloused hands are you trying to switch over to the naughty list bro he probably won't i'm not putting a whole lot of effort into this i'm no longer a kid after all phew after letting out a sigh i rolled over after letting out a blood curdling fart ben can you add in a scream there well aaron aaron's got you covered thank you aaron after is he on the floor see this is what i love about these dating games right yes where it's like i rolled over presumably he's in his bed yes but they don't want to show it right because then they'd have to draw something yeah once i did so there was [Music] okay there was a kid version santa claus that's awfully presumptuous yeah and like like never mind there's nothing about her that's santa claus except she has a red no there's nothing about her that's santa claus no there really isn't also i can't tell if she's a kid or not yeah that's yeah she suddenly popped out to me like like the main guy is like super sleazy when i say kid do i mean like like 12 kid or like barely legal teen kid anyway um i mean she suddenly popped out demanding a gift from me that made me flinch a bit not that a random girl popped into your room or anything yeah with red demon eyes yeah they're like argyle yeah they are she chose a nice pattern now hang on where did she even come in from she wasn't here a second ago i don't know let's not think about it sorry i don't have anything for you except the door i had absolutely no idea where she came in from but she seemed rather harmless and cute you have nothing left yup i've got no money we'll see about that um anything else well i can't give you my computer i can't give you my clothes and i can't give you my books and i can't give you my clothes i guess i could give you my clothes my parent necessities after all i feel like you're about to break into song yes still don't you have something else to offer well look for those burn like what hopes and dreams i don't have any of those okay yeah i figured why would you smile when you say that yeah jeez okay wow it's a horrible thing you're the one who phased into my room dude sorry you might want to try somebody better off she said leering at me apparently a god with her uppercase she [Music] i won't leave until you give me a gift this is called stealing it's breaking and entering and now i'm stealing whatever do what you want am i hallucinating or am i dancer oh my god the kid santa let out a joyous chuckle well she ran around me in a circle clearly a killer's fan today is christmas eve i couldn't even tell what's real or not anymore to be honest it didn't really matter all that was clear was that this cute kid santa claus wasn't gonna leave me alone so add stalking to the trespassing [Music] 12 24 christmas eve oh thank god the game is almost over yeah i locked my door and doing that made it seem like i have sealed myself into my very own private world oh boy a tranquil one that i won't be disturbed in where grammar doesn't matter all i needed to do was to close the door out of the lack of miracles expecting nothing what [Music] all i needed to do was close the door out of the lack of miracles expecting okay right the only thing i need in my world is me all i need in a world with a population of one me i'm a sociopath i like repeating the same thing but in different ways but i'm trapped in oblivion santa was still tirelessly orbiting about me going through the fourth and fifth dimension just running around endlessly she's starting to get on my nerves sit she sat stay stay for some reason it feels like she give me her hand if i say paw to her i get it now yeah i thought it was just weird and creepy but now i get that it's because she's sat like a dog right right and paw is obviously a reference to your father let's not do that [Music] so who exactly are you santa claus don't question it it's like like like if a homeless guy comes in and it's like uh can i help you yeah i'm the boss of this establishment and you are um i don't know if that's true yeah who are you sir i'm batman i i really want to believe you right now i'd love to believe batman exists but i'm batman as close in the wash you're wearing a school uniform [Music] still santa claus yeah laundry day i guess she's right why oh okay after all i did realize that she was santa right after seeing her oh are you santa yes no you're not yes i am well can't poke a hole in that watertight alibi i was able to do that oh i'm not sure but there are those times in life that you just want to forget about it and all you didn't do is your heart desires right it was one of those days meanwhile there's a knock at the door and it's like um carl it's time for your medication okay it's medication not gonna take it it's one of those days i'm talking to santa claus right now oh and before you say what i know you're thinking no it's not the santa claus with the beard it's a little adolescent girl santa claus is school uniform so jokes on you get them down on the ground she's filling me with christmas hopes and cheer christmas eve the one time in a year where everyone just wants to forget about reality and live in their dreams we're insanity stinks not a species santas of the north oh i managed to survive by wearing a school uniform that checks out so that's how santa started wearing a school uniform this is the dumbest man alive does it feel to be a cute girl no i'm sorry how does it feel like to be a cute girl feels like cosplay uh no no i'm still santa in heart even if i wear a school uniform then why are you taking the presents away i thought santa was supposed to be giving them withdrawing shutting down yup i'm taking back the things i gave away when everyone was little why since i loaned it to you that's stupid loaned what you know hope's dreams future that sort of stuff wait you were lending those yup i was going to take everything back with interest but but everyone went bankrupt [Music] sorry i had an extra ha santa was actually a loan shark we were all being deceived i before e except after c yep sometimes right so basically so basically you're here to repossess the hopes and dreams you gave me when i was younger that is exactly what she just said yep yep and i'm going to take them back with interest to the very last penny you'll never want to go outside again boys santa's [ __ ] up yeah uh when i became a cute little girl i became a monster i like how he was like so basically and then just said everything that she said yes like she didn't he didn't basic it [Music] do you like my hair braid or my hair pin x gonna give it to you sorry i'm broke as well all right you throw up her santa twitched as if she had taken a hit to her emotions twitch twitch.tv slash rubber ninja nice that was kind of cute there's a deadline a deadline the 24th and the 25th how do you have two oh thank god that's 49 days away how do you how do you have two deadlines so the deadline's the 25th yeah so today and tomorrow or just tomorrow yeah if you understand the concept of dead life if i missed the deadline i would have to return this uniform to its owner and then santa will go extinct uh huh wait why maybe this made more sense in the original korean yeah well because santa can only escape the danger of going extinct by wearing a school uniform and becoming a beautiful girl and are you sure about that that's not very easy to understand therefore that's you oh santa looked as though she was planning to explain it to me once the 25th passes anything i do will be pointless why because today and tomorrow are meant to be the most fantastic days of all what is it aaron i just love she's like i'll explain it to you santa looks like she's gonna explain it and then she explains that then she begins explaining yeah it is strange it is a strange tack she looked at me and said words fantastic fantastic ah fantastic yeah fantastic fantastic day so santa has to collect her payment in full within the next two days huh yup it's urgent sorry i literally have nothing uh he's got like a books and a tv yeah i mean i don't know you're in his house you can see he's got stuff i got an iphone it's morning the sun is rising even on the most fantastic of all days the sun rises like any other sun sun sun sunny day it sure does look sunny oh it's gorgeous christmas eve is a sunny day just letting you know it's definitely sunny out ah it's not fantastic at all i'm guessing the sun is not too fond of the snow from the way he killed them all what jeez you could just say the ice melted charles dickens it heated it melted them away poor snow it's dead now sun tends to always be like that melting snow and [ __ ] sunny places are always like that does anything i'm saying even matter is anyone listening to me reality is always like that santa she got big where's rudolph that's a giant child i grilled and ate him what did he taste good tasted like tears what oh please god don't let this be another horror game cheers santa was hungry so she had to eat rudolph santa was starving to the point where if she didn't eat her beloved rudolph she would have perished how did it get to this how did any of this get to this yeah i agree well since all the kids who received my loan went bankrupt i'm also broke oh rudolph rudolph but it's fine rudolph is inside me now we'll be together forever yeah that's great how is cinematic how is santa meant to get around without rudolph my sprinkle gas will lift me off the ground what else santa walks you walk no santa walks i know rudolph was able to fly but he's dead now he's [ __ ] dead let it go but just because i ate him it doesn't mean i can fly now not even if i paint my nose red we decided to have a moment of silence for rudolph this whole game has been a moment of silence oh my god my poor aching head for better games what do you plan to do once the 24th and 25th is over i'm going to make more hopes and dreams for the next 363 days and with those and with those and with those i'm going to distribute them all on the 24th and 25th santa is great i see santa is great i've fallen on hard times with the factory though so the factory is now a pile of debris man you suck [Music] because the children who borrow the hopes and dreams from us all filed for bankruptcy together give me give me sorry but i don't have anything as i said many times before ugh well this story is definitely going places i mean my god these just get weirder and weirder the morning went by and it is now noon afternoon ah afternoon i want to see snow white snow a white panoramic landscape i want to see a beautiful white scenery go away son let the snow fall i'm hungry oh god damn it santa was starving what are you gonna eat another reindeer you're hungry yes i'm hungry santa was starving you hungry rudolph is crying out that he's hungry from inside of me oh boy gross rudolph you're alive i have ramen if you want i don't like instant food well i don't like you sneaking into my room and phasing it out of existence we could always starve you bad debtor the creditor forced violence on the debtor oh oh dang a knuckle to my forehead oh thank god i thought i thought it was gonna go like full horror situation one minute of recovery i passed out you can tell because it wiped down instead of from left to right oh sure one minute passed rebirth that's a relief so poetic hey i wouldn't die from that impossible things could also happen on this fantastic day like your death fantastic day fantastic day snow snow sunny sunny sun sunday i can't afford to be careless on this fantastic day santa what why did you start lending hopes and dreams to kids you know we could have just got into this like 10 minutes ago well i was selling them at first for for blow you were selling them that might be my least favorite thing that um dating sims do the endless repeating of like the i did this you did that i did this like just [ __ ] say it one time yup yup for how much despair ah despair if you sell your despair to us we'll give you hope hope how does that work as a business i don't know why or how but it sure was popular popular and then but at some point humans stopped selling it to us um they said they couldn't give it to us even if they wanted to i'm trying to like understand this as i read it and my brain just shut down what do you mean they hold on to it like treasure but scream for help to separate it from them wow is this like a commentary on people's inability to let go of their pain and suffering yeah maybe you should just put your phone down credits role [Laughter] that's why we started loaning the hopes and dreams to them why did you lend it to them when you could just as easily have given them away they tend to be thrown away if we give it to them for free oh well you just thought of everything haven't you mrs claus looks like everybody threw it away anyway you threw it away too you deader ah did she just punch you again i was hit on the forehead by a fist or you could just say you got punched yeah for playful jest it was unexpectedly strong that i nearly fell over maybe she wasn't jesting anyway so then since they were throwing them away if you just give it to them you started loaning them out first instead instead why did i say first i don't know yep i plan to have them returned with a lot of interest but everyone went bankrupt did they oh give it back give it back santa you are my least favorite santa right now sorry i got nothing [Music] hey santa is this going anywhere nope is it like the day after christmas yet or 12 27 it was now late in the afternoon and their son had returned home to under to where i gave santa a cup of water yeah we're orbiting around it how is it it tastes like [ __ ] water rudolph doesn't like it do you honestly think i can satisfy my hunk with just minerals he says oh rudolph you're really real you don't plan on being picky with what you eat in your current status are you santa yes what do you plan to do from now on santa since this whole thing about lending isn't working out shouldn't you try something else you'll only be letting down eight billion children hmm can i try and come up with a plan or can you try and come up with a plan um we decided to contemplate for a moment then i was like why are you burdening me with your problems you phased into my room without my permission [Music] anyway we ate ramen noodles and watched tv i don't know ugh just when i thought this loan shark idea was good and original when i came up with it you sure you weren't just being greedy you know with the interest and all it's a bit you deader i swear ten years ago you definitely pinky promised that you would pay it back to me by a hundred times no a thousand times we went the beanie baby in the way so far as to spit shaking on it we even went as far ah there it is i swear this guy is just like running into my house with a chainsaw this is like can you hear me now this is really really bizarre god shut up i oh i know that chainsaw if you're gonna chainsaw wood outside my house do it never do it not outside of my house this santa no matter how i look at it there is no denying that she has a deeply rooted sense of resentment give it back give it back you promised to give it back at 100 a thousand times its original worth didn't you no i what are you talking about sorry i lost it all so i have nothing left remember when we said this at minute two yeah and then she says ooh you could almost visually see santa's heart sinking seriously what am i supposed to do now for the first time santa is showing some true sense of anxiety santa i've wasted a day christmas eve is almost over oh there we go it's gone it's christmas day now 25. [Music] oh wow oh a change of location christmas day arrived without a slightest show of mercy what does that mean looking at looking at i'm here looking outside of the window i could see the snow dancing in the wind is christmas day like a like a blonde tiny girl hi i'm christmas day oh yeah i don't know yay it's snowing it was snowing quite heavily i wonder if i would see a sea of white when i opened my eyes tomorrow santa do you want to stay up all night it's inappropriate for her to be here dude yeah no kids need to sleep early so you're admitting you're a kid i'm an adult now nope just like how my mind is still santa even though i'm wearing a school uniform your mind is still that of a child even though you uh in in in car [Music] like an adult on the outside appearances don't really matter what's important is the way you feel in your heart my heart is always santa good night my heart just always bursts into flames i like how she doesn't address at all about like beard or like being a like a like a man maybe that's not part of just like in south korea yeah just like just put on a school uniform and now i'm not santa anymore santa pulled the blanket over herself and laid down on the bed i followed suit and pulled the blanket over myself and laid down too oh a new picture oh my god something new oh for some reason we ended up using the same single blanket come on man sweet dreams santa sweet dreams kiddo kiddo wait what so she's santa she's like a thousand billion years old i guess is she gonna leave him presents she's gonna leave him presents oh my god it's christmas already yeah oh look something new it's so beautiful wow we're getting somewhere i guess december 25th christmas day although the outside world was brilliant and spotless the spiteful sun in the sky had the every intent of obliterating anything the every intent the sun was killing the snow fractal by fractal santa can't you just ask the sun to leave us alone for a bit after all it is meant to be a fantastic day right try asking it nicely what the [ __ ] do you want me to do about it hey son scram god i feel like a [ __ ] idiot now i was ignored reality is always like that wow we're so similar sob sob santa has made a snowball and started rolling it in the snow oh boy what are you doing santa molting i'm making a snowman trying to do something to break up the monotony yeah i also started to roll the snowball boy believe me when i say we rolled that snowball roll roll oh boy round round round round i finished making the smaller balls well that's true technically one always is smaller than the other that's santa's you know what it's like it hangs and there's like one that's lower yes santa has finished making the body portion of the snowman i'll put the smaller bowl on top of that i kind of thought there was more to that no okay they just made a snowman that's pretty cute the snowman was now complete now what if we just leave it here the sun's gonna come and kill it yeah i know right it's like a mayfly how how is it like a mayflower is it an insect with a fate of only living a day in its lifetime i'm so stunned i can't even believe what i'm reading right now the snowman is going to melt by tomorrow you're happy when it's there but once it's gone you just did the correct grammar on it four words earlier okay whatever but once it's gone you'll forget about it as if it never existed in the first place oh ha really what should i do kind of like your existence on this planet like people will be sad for like 20 years after you die but unless you're a great actor or a great artist or something i mean like you'll be forgotten oh anyway merry christmas [Music] gave me a peek from the corner of her eye only 14 hours of christmas left only 14 hours of fantastic day left only 14 hours of hope left only 14 hours of my life left once today is over it will all melt and die just like me i'll melt and die we have to find a way to keep it before that happens before i die should we put it in the fridge then it won't grow what it'll only it's only it'll only going to get hard and stiff santa please please stop saying stuff like that then what exactly should we do pan wipe santa looked depressed i guess is there really nothing else we can do now santa looked at me oh me i tried giving them out for free i tried loaning them out neither have it worked being santa's a tough job i don't see any light like am i insane what is going on here it's it's a little i don't really get it okay cool as long as i'm not the only one i just want to let you know too on the steam page as far as i could tell this game got very positive reviews really are we missing something is there something that we're not getting maybe people just feel like they they they want to hang out with the cute girl and i don't know i don't know yeah it's that it scratches the itch of like getting to hang out with santa and and a young child girl like for for that specific demographic i'm the last one you know huh oh all the other santa's died out i'm the last one stan okay i truly believe that that whoever made this game has no sense of what santa is right it's just so there's a ton of santas who's responsible for that you you debtor the creditor swung violence at the debtor remember that gag really landed well the first time i received a precise blow to the center of my chin ow that really hurts pain is a cheap price to pay just something happened [Music] [Laughter] i'm going insane i've thought about it for an hour yeah me too and i was just rolling snowballs for the past hour any good ideas i would love an idea right about now um i did but it's not the best of all ideas just share it what is it why don't we go on a strike and protest outside the city what [Laughter] it took you 30 minutes to get to this point we just fussed around in my room talking about hopes and dreams and suddenly you want to strike and protest outside of city hall i feel like i'm doing a let's play with samuel l jackson oh i'm sorry don't all right well giving out hopes and dreams is labor too you know no one is gonna take you seriously there's no way we're going to city hall nope we're going back in the bedroom yeah there's no way yeah yeah uh-huh okay there we go it was late in the evening we returned home oh my god [ __ ] city hall too hard to draw but christmas it's over now santa it's dinner time but why does it have to be a school uniform couldn't you have gone for anything else a santa who wears a school uniform is forever in their teens teens although my heart is santa since i'm wearing a school uniform my appearance is also forced to be that of a teen huh that sounds stupid and not real hey you should wear one too [Music] once i came to i was wearing a school uniform this is weird it feels like i've reverted back to being a high school student again looks good it looks good on you shut up and get out of my house santa no longer has any powers so all she can do are small things like leaving roses by the stairs surprises let santa know you care i made it for you you have to pay it back to me by a thousand folds next year that's so many folds i can't get that fat hopes and dreams what what the school uniform what are you saying this school uniform is hopes and dreams well it was always inside you so all i did was pull it out all you need to do is make it bigger please don't say pull it out and make it bigger anymore but it feels like it's gonna melt and die by tomorrow uh santa hmm i'm sorry if you're sorry then pay me back you deader the creditor didn't swing violence at the deader wow what a character arc santa looked at me blankly there's no time there's no time to beat on you what there's only an hour left good oh so there's only one hour left of christmas it's impossible to obtain the hopes and dreams within it no just one dream hopes and dreams hopes and dream uh santa i have a request what is it debtor get the [ __ ] out of my house i mean gladly come back next year next year yeah next year next year are you going to be okay with that not in the least who wasn't particularly okay with this year ugh i'll give it my best shot in gathering my hopes and dreams but the sun's too strong it might be gone by tomorrow even if that does happen i'll still wait patiently for the fantastic day until the day i could borrow hope from you again do you even know how much debt you're in right now i don't even know what we're talking about right now i mean i've really lost the threat here huh how much i gave you the loan when you were seven so you have 13 years worth of interest to pay back 20 i guess what do i have to do to pay it back give hopes and dreams to 13 other people oh my god is this game a chain letter wait so you're telling me this was a this was pyramid selling all along ah pyramid selling the classic scheme santa has to put bread on the table too cruel santa so basically to pay her back i have to pay 13 times the initial amount in hopes and dreams dude it's not gonna be a drain on your [ __ ] schwab account all right i'll come again next year if you haven't given hopes and dreams to 13 people by then then i'll add interest and increase it by something total tenfold ten folds i can't see aaron's beanie babies are in the way of the screen 130 people if you aren't able to reach the quota by the year after that then i'll raise it to 300 people wow you're like a dictionary definition of a loan shark the corrupt lender smiled work hard is she just gonna drop like or i'll kill you yeah the south and north pole won't melt um global warming is a myth propagated by the chinese i read that on twitter someone wrote it and wasn't kidding even if it melts at first you just have to make it bigger and firmer until it gets to the point where it can't melt what but put it in the fridge then it'll only become firm but not bigger oh you'd like that wouldn't you work hard yeah if the sun kills it again i'll grant you a loan on the next fantastic day what like i feel like i'm being read the monopoly rules and you'll increase the quota by 10 times of course wow and i'm guessing that this is going to keep going down the tears of your pyramid scheme yup try raising the numbers up to somewhere in the millions impossible that's just impossible it's fine the pyramid makes it possible do you have a gun in which i can blow my brains out this short christmas is now coming to an end not short enough you're really going to come next year right yup i'm not sure what's going happened to me by then me neither even so even so i'll wait you'll wait promise i'm not gonna make a promise when i have a feeling that you may break it uh this is debtor this creditor fufufu christmas is coming to an end christmas is coming to an end you aren't going i'm not going i have one last thing to say okay what is it thank you shut up why you were the last one i was the last one you were my last customer i was your last customer oh well that's a relief i didn't lose my job bummer for some reason the sight of santa smiling felt faint i'm going to make 130 gropes and dreams by next year so yeah no no let's call it 13 for now that's me let's call it 13 for now i'll bring 130 next year by then i might be able to get some help need some help the year after that 1300 the year after that 13 000 and the year after that 130 000. i all you did on christmas was hang out with me yeah you didn't do anything else wow if it grows that big i'll be able to run my factory again santa hmm i love you what's your dream to give people hopes and dreams i see yup work hard you too boy we really learned a lot about each other if it says the end i'm going to scream [Music] oh my god oh my god oh no please we got an extra drawing [Music] the clock hit 12 and christmas day was over december 26th the fantastic day was over though my heart still felt fantastic yes there is a risk that the sun may kill the fantastic feeling once i open the door and step outside even so even so [Music] [Applause] [Music] never grow never grow let's hang in there for a year let's hang in there while i give people hopes and dreams i'm looking forward to christmas next year goodbye santa i will wait that was the biggest [ __ ] waste of my goddamn time aaron before we end this episode yeah can we go look at some of these reviews oh oh yeah sure and perhaps leave one of our own because i've got some things to say i don't know if you do okay uh let's here it is very positive very very positive what we got some i got some reviews for you a short cute christmas themed vienne with a novel story about an unusual santa with its free price tag no one can hardly complain oh no from grumpett okay i don't want to go against them they might be a a friend of ours sakamama didn't like it adolescence santa claus is one of the most incredible games of its time why you may ask well i'm here to tell you my friend you see adolescence santa claus it's not what it's called is an emotional roller coaster that genuinely shows the spirit of christmas it is all fancy and fantastic reviewers may do i'm going to rate this on a scale of pros and cons of course they're writing this in the in the style of the game of course the scams will not be necessary but we will include them in case pros a fantastic fantastic day oh my god this is longer than the game i liked how rudolph still was a prominent character in the story his development from being alive to grilled to an independent species within her slash him i don't assume genders was really thrilling it really sucked me in and showed me what this game has to offer under cons they wrote no nudity in all capital letters no nudity wow in conclusion it was an incredible game and i will play this with my children one day to remind them of the harsh realities of life and how it will end the snowman will always melt and the mayflies will always die electron orbitals thought it had a touching story 10 out of 10 lolli santa well okay i don't want to rain on these folks parade so i like dictators adolescent santa claus everyone shut the [ __ ] up this game is absolute hot garbage however if you're a major neck beard you'll love this game although it's cancer wow flo that was harsh i like this one smiley face why did you leave boy very divisive don't forget to paint your loans kid god i can't believe how many of these games there are ah ah oh don't jump at me that's a nightmare so she was curtsying or an approximation of such it's for newer who want a relaxed game play session all significant game locations are indicated with sparkles yes please yeah oh you don't want to go hardcore all right it's christmas time my favorite time of year and i've finally been invited to the royal christmas ball it's official i've arrived wow so fancy look at this chris received december 24th wow not hanging out with your family at some ball with a bunch of douchey elites would you like some interactive help yes sir you know it click on the bag oh okay oh click twice to open it you got it wow blow on the tiny trumpet blowing the tiny trumpet lots of sparkles indicate areas where you can zoom in and look for clues click here zoom in oh look at that finally objects from the list at the bottom of the screen yes sir um um egg burning candle down here oh inkwell right there next to the ornament inkwell yep i'm just going to click everything slow globe cherries don't waste our dang time with your crazy clickage do we get free clicks candy key ring oh okay button gold watch gold watch there's too much where's the watch right there up and to the right no no up there you go i can't tell time with this who gives a [ __ ] all right uh spool um yeah it says spoon spoon is what we're looking for and it's there under the little flap should i just like take it or excellent close up the bag or something uh carrot okay okay all right right where you are uh left left left left left left spoon spoon yes coin the candle isn't burning i have to light the candle myself oh god what is this where are the hands madness wait i have to oh and then i put it on here and now it's a gold gotcha the blue ones are two-tiered situations yeah they've really upped their ante this is too much okay we need two safety pins how am i gonna light that candle on fire there's one safety pin by the glasses right where you are um yes 12. um cool i collected the 12. okay great baseball button button baseball i have to sew together the baseball and then take it yes please button i see no button coin where is button dorme i found it oh okay belts where's the bell right there next to the snow globe yahar and burning candle how do i burn it i don't know where's the candle itself uh the candle's right here ah yes so it is matches yes nice animation perhaps this will come in handy oh the bell just the bell yeah this is your interactive inventory hover the pointer over the bottom of the screen to bring up the inventory then press all the buttons click the bell don't forget to click that bell to subscribe to that bag oh you can subscribe to game grumps right now [Laughter] look a stupid thing that i don't care about hmm oh more dumb things sparkle sparkles that rat doesn't look friendly judging by the cape and crown it must be some kind of king rat i never would have guessed it's a nutcracker i used to love those as a kid cracking my nuts look at all these sparkles oh it's a rat so damn this rat does not look friendly or like a rat what on earth a rat on two feet oh he's gonna stab me boy they got real lazy with these animations i'm gonna get you this rat doesn't look friendly also he's got weaponry and 15th century garb should i like stat here's a toy maybe i'm just tired here you're invited to the ball you're invitated shut up man i'm doing my best give him this oh we need to put pieces of the shield together okay got it all right let's go inside then i guess the poor butler fell asleep waiting for guests how can i wake him up with a bell yeah ding-a-ling-a-ling oh [ __ ] good evening or you have like a mouse or hands good evening thanks for arousing me for my peaceful slumber dick i'm sorry or too late the ball is over but you're welcome to look under the christmas tree for your gift that is if you have an invitation have you been invitated i do have an invitatored well let's see it in my [ __ ] hands it's tiny oh it just eats it i don't see an invitation looks like you weren't invited click here to move to the yeah no [ __ ] oh damn there's something sparkling on the rat did that matter it's a pity the party is over oh i thought it was said it was a pity party yeah but maybe there's still a present for me under the tree wait did i miss the party yeah what the hell yeah cause you were fumbling around with bags and rats outside well it didn't take that long there it was the greatest party of all time socialites people are falling in love drinking laughing merriment once a year only happens once a year look at the look at everything everyone went to all the trouble they went to meanwhile you're outside the side like button baseball uh oh gotta sew the baseball the guys showed you baseball how do i get out of here how do i get out of here maybe map there oh map no oh okay ah there cool under the tree there's a present for me princess there's a creature inside ah it's gonna get me dear nutcrackers i'm sorry for anyone who's a nutcracker in the audience they are [ __ ] hideous nutcrackers yeah sorry for anyone who's a nutcracker look at those teeth yeah man they got some chompers yikes goes all the way into their chest i got to the house disguised as a christmas gift i think he's saying his words yeah it was awful oh i can turn it off yeah let's crank it up a little bro i don't want to miss a minute of this i feel you man i found mary but the rats attacked us i threw her to them in tribute as far as the garden but couldn't squeeze between the bars in the gate please help us well you really you couldn't that seems like there's a lot of barrage that you could squeeze through those [ __ ] rats took mary yeah rad bastards carry me around in your butthole go on then right up there wow yeah man i'm stealing everyone's christmas presents cool well the nutcracker was for you but perhaps the world's biggest gem will also suffice mary and her nutcracker belong in these little baskets so i have to bring them back to their coffins because they can rest for eternity oh what the heck is going on here i have slide pieces around oh a delicious refreshing fresco what is the button to go back do i really have to go into the map oh lord lord have mercy no menu no no [Laughter] for oh it's down here got it uh what is this oh that's right let's get out of here what about the christmas tree wow what a tree all right there you go just look at the wonderful decorations this is truly a great holiday haul with nobody in it nobody's enjoying themselves kitchen door hey piece of shield legends of the hidden temple the shrine of the silver monkey race down the stairs and through the temple gates [Laughter] you could go up into the observatory come over spin the dial all right i can't open this closet without a handle wait what did he say to me run around the back of me pull the curtain and jack me off put your hand in my mouth go on do it poke me in the eye um okay oh my god this scary child hmm i'll take whatever is yours the chain isn't very strong i think i can file right through it okay well i feel like the cat's leg isn't is even less strong yeah just cut that off you should try that first always blinking perhaps not this doesn't look like a hole for an ordinary key um let's see if i can find something metal to open the lock uh screws oh no i'm screwed is that mary oh we found her oh god ah adult oh god 25. there are 25 of these nightmare creatures hidden around the house they will be staring at you and eating your soul if you don't get them in time they might eat all of it here head outside for a sec to the gates to the gates yes you can add that shield piece yeah but what good is it gonna do bro there we go and check out that rat don't forget that the nutcracker can beat one rack oh nice do it did they ever tell me that [Music] dang dude oh oh my god he's dead oh i want to be like the hype man for the nutcracker okay cool a golden rose you couldn't just kick the rat away with your human size yeah listen dude you need a little two foot tall thing to go tink trying to have logic here sorry so oh there's the other part of the shield he's definitely missing some sparkle but he's holding the shield but he could have a gem in there ah and he released the shield he's like oh my hand it hurts oh god why'd you put the fire gem of antioch onto my hands it burns like a thousand suns nice bro taking the shield i'm stealing all kinds of [ __ ] you just keep sleeping butler um open those cabinets should i put the shield on yeah oops maybe i'm just tired maybe i'll use the shield to get close to him no no what else do i have was this was this a sun sparkle spot no can you look closer at that keyhole this keyhole no no the one on the cabinet it looks like a heart oh this is just a key okay it's not got it handle there you go that makes sense the handle definitely needs to be fastened better the screws this thing i've got some screws that i'm going to screw in with my hands i guess i think i saw a screwdriver near the cat really yeah look oh yeah baby oh bro you're so smart my dude in my eyes homie oh man you're figuring out things left and right dude screwing that hecking thing in yeah and i'm gonna open the closet or whatever what's inside oh i don't need an info button to learn how to solve the puzzle i got this like info help uh oh it's over here okay oh frick it's one of these oh no oh wait it's kind of there oh wait here we go i think you got it done done hey maybe maybe maybe maybe wait okay and then this one moves by itself no with this one in tandem so i move that one and that one goes with that and and then i got it i figured it out did you yeah here we go perfect shut up [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] um and then no freak all right you got it yes yeah baby good job dog yeah baby proud of you forget my oh god there's so much junk pocket watch up there top right corner look at you mr finder of things okay so you guys got a screw we got the ace right there in the in the sweater ooh okay ice skate ice skate you skate we all skate for ah all right yeah i'm fine i feel like that should be easier to find the ice skate yeah i know it's like huge maybe it's back here nope it's probably behind something after i find something perhaps um let's move on ooh mask done glasses right there right where you are below the victory yes yes a victrola the hell's a victrola i think that's what it's called yeah you're probably right where's the other part of this doll the doll's been dismembered mary [Laughter] not like this um glove that should be easy right there's the glove yes open book that should be easy right uh right there next to the bear okay would you think it was the bread no no no go left go left oh right there that's a closed book i guess it is i'm sorry uh scroll lion and ice skate where is the scroll i don't see a single lion there there's a scroll oh here's the other doll oh hey now the doll that might be the scroll right there these are spaghettis i'm sorry they're spaghettos i stand corrected ice skate how are we missing an ice skate it could be behind something all right oh that was the scroll okay well how was that a scroll i don't know it didn't look very squirrel-like to me yeah me neither apple core eat that apple dog oh dog true yes oh true munch oh and then here's a necklace that needs to get cut with the scissors that are right there on the right side of second shelf you're so [ __ ] smart baby and i scott like where's the ice skate am i dumb oh it's over here oh yeah there it is oh that belongs in the museum that belongs in a museum okay do i have all the pieces for this i don't think so i need the christmas tray of course okay more hints please god i love these games why why are these so much fun don't i don't know i honestly like they're so satisfying okay just get everything done i don't know he's getting yeah and this opens this and yay try the rose the rose yeah that don't make no sense mm-hmm but it's where the jet oh maybe maybe the star the star man that don't make no it's the same color nope that don't make no sense i guess they didn't think it was important to decorate the door come any closer and stop yeah okay would you like a little man would you like to eat my little delicious little man god that cat is so sad talk to the cat maybe you won't talk to me no no just like listen look at his paw i'm so sad and dejected i'm out of here bro okay there's gotta be something else i can do around here a sign maybe it's just a sign i've waited my whole life to attend the christmas ball yeah two eggs you are [ __ ] late idiot oh man so harsh it's not harsh it's the truth bro i'm gonna talk about harsh bud people do need a dash of reality i suppose do i s nope i guess he's just asleep forever now what else can i do can i take the gem back oh the armor's blocking the door oh shield yeah that makes no goddamn sense yes and in the door we go perfect oh whoa a whole new world of wonders so many sparkles yay what she's dead it's not the exact same thing ew his army attacked her dollhouse but mary ran away she knew she wouldn't be able to hide from the rats for long like rats are faster than a doll yeah for sure you can see she's moving extremely slowly oh that was it okay there's another flower thing up there i gotta melt the dang keyhole bad luck fired fire give me the dragon the door is locked the door dragon door the tree over here there's a little hexagon what is that a handkerchief handkerchief okay so there's the christmas tree that goes between the ice skates another freaking rose oh it's too high help of an agile assistant oh probably that cat ah uh oh rose like what you said ah but it requires four ah there's more i need to get that one with an agile assistant [ __ ] dang dude nice dude your wife's hot dude bro maybe use the fire uh above the door the lantern nope nope okay all right well i got the christmas tree so i can oh wait i think i saw one more thing [Music] oh god no um yeah pest control i've got what you might call a doozy uh the marching rats yeah yeah yeah what is that time of year you can take care of them are they are they renaissance or medieval they look to be the rebirth era yeah oh interesting we haven't experienced those before this is the story of how mary became the porcelain princess [ __ ] are you chomping on stuff much okay what am i what am i to do here i do not know rats were trying to surround the princesses she had to think of a way to escape uh so do i have to think of a way to escape yeah i think so through the window what about the cupboard uh i just opened the stand and found your favorite door here okay clearly wasn't their favorite the one was heavy enough to get rid of one rat maybe the broom oh word nice swept away those damn rats oh my god this is so creative she ran into the next rooms but the rats had a trap for her in a way was blocked way shut the door was lacked and and her barrel was cocked how could she use it ah there you go okay using a chair she built the ladder to the huge locker locker princess tried to get to the stand but the floor was literally shot to go she was able to reach stick that was once used to secure the shearling of the ceiling smack it smack it how the hell am i what am i supposed to do now the painting oh now she's used the painting she's ruining her house ah shoes how convenient oh man she didn't know what the rats wanted from her but she didn't want to find out she just wanted to get away hold the crank she pulled the lever on the elevated doors she was crazy elevator was too small for her but there was something to shine it was a problem as a cat a pup cat it's a cat [Laughter] stop chomping mochi hey stop chomping on tape stop it bad boy oh you're so cute emoji aaron's cat is currently eating tape off of boxes with tape he loves it oh you got you're gonna make me you're gonna stop get away get away go go go go okay he doesn't understand because all i want to do is love on him every day and then when i'm like go away he's like these pets are awfully fast get out is that that ain't your tape you mongrel yeah did you didn't you have to have surgery to get yeah yeah from auto 8 auto aida you know when you order food from like olive garden or whatever and then you get like the little the like plastic that the plastic bag that holds the utensils yeah he ate the whole bag oh no yeah and then he just and then he was acting strange yeah he's he's a sharp kid the princess hadn't used a knife too often in her life but now she here too the princess had a weapon but she realized there were too many rats for this to save [Music] so she figured i'll kill as many as i can it was difficult but the rope yielded to the sharp knife i think she used to roll but seemed there was no one to the red so [Music] but the rope was too short and the princess fell and hurt her leg oh [ __ ] she needed to recover before the rats came down the ladder the princess philip yeah the medicine chest was nearby but it was long oh my god a family home was famous for its huge library her parents used to collect books from all over the world she had injured her leg and couldn't run faster she was doomed okay i guess you could run kind of fast the princess knew some of her mother's hiding spots but the player didn't the player just [ __ ] guessed it was difficult when i heard like but she missed the grampy key then she opened it and then her blade was all better the medicine just was open the girl branded the leg the very next moment rushed into the room the rats were fast but they soon blocked away again but then she decided i would a cop to lean oh clever girl damn the exit was close and the princess felt hope luckily the rats stopped near like in final fantasy it was time for some turn-based combat she grabbed an umbrella and used it to do with the ring then she threw some shoes in the wig oh my god so action-packed the girl decided to get rid of them right in front of the exit door because she goes out there too many rants blocking the bathroom oh dang holy [ __ ] i thought he could only take out one yeah he was strong well that's probably back when his prime oh yeah now he's a washed up old bass man i knew ally of p80 was strong and the reds could do nothing against and that's that i guess okay oh my god one of the rats was much bigger and fatter than the rest very judgmental another magic wand to turn the girl into a doll so that's how mary came to be the porcelain princess i've gotta help her what it was really an epic tale and just kind of a bunch of [ __ ] happened and then some guy with a wand showed up and then turned her into a doll very similar but okay i've gotta help her i'm definitely invested in the story and we will help mary pick pick her up pick her up okay got the beads garlic it's a garland so what do i do with the garland is there anything that you can think of that i could do with the garland uh [Music] try the well try going into the to the left the what yeah try going to the courtyard oh the garland like maybe you can lasso that down i think i got to use the cat hmm yeah dang all right f this i'm going back and i'm getting the dragon nope i've got a kerchief a handkerchief oh ah no no no star no star no well what the hey now here's a hint hang the garland on the kitchen door kitchen there's a kitchen well i'm hitching a ride to the kitchen oh kitchen door kitchen door so this is the kitchen oh yeah hang the garland on the kitchen door oh so i got to make him festive oh wow sick oh yeah cause he did say like no one bothered to decorate the kitchen door oh i see yeah yeah here's viggo you're like the buzzing of flies to him [Laughter] why am i dripping this goo this stand is really dusty i can't see anything i need to clean off the stand like with a kerchief nice and a star [Music] oh hexagon that's the fresco get the [ __ ] out of here oh yeah daddy get the [ __ ] out of here did you say get the [ __ ] now i gotta swap around all these tiles oh boy oh man oh okay here we go yeah yeah would you look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] gotta do it all over again damn it oh would you look at this [ __ ] okay i'm looking for a roof oh here we go there it is [ __ ] yeah oh it lights up when you get it correct yeah that makes it much more confusing there yeah [Music] there yeah whoops full revolution yeah i believe that tree one that's the second one in goes in the lower right lower right yeah see how it has branches on the right side which would match the tree did it oh maybe maybe that yeah there you go was that what you were saying i i meant one up but like you that was correct so huh way to go not so bad am i oh and there's um uh up up to the right to the right this one i believe turn and that forms the ground oh word oh yes [ __ ] [ __ ] that's awesome uh let's just keep building that ground is that right side up or is that hard to say oh that looks more like a building well you accidentally got that one right no i didn't oh wow look at that uh uh there no oh that's a wall um probably that one uh uh yeah yeah exactly what this one no the dark red one that's probably the ground yeah snap yup yo you're smart let's just match in colors baby would you it's much harder than that flip that [ __ ] yeah oh my god dude we're killing it it's a good looking fresco baby okay now find that tree um yeah now that's what i call brute forcing it the tree because we gotta complete this tree here on the bottom in the bottom right boom there it is done yo now this is what i call skills to pay them gosh dang bills i'm paying the bills with all these girls oops how about right there no okay about right there yes how about there all right no that one's oh that one's right finished yeah baby oh my god i'm gonna lose my mind everyone's seeing this [ __ ] jealous aren't you boom there it is whoop slam dunk oh [ __ ] that wasn't it wow maybe one over oh there it is what about this one and no it's the one on the left yes watch this yes slam dunk oh that's not it yeah we must just have to there we go this is the only two left i think yeah slam mother effing ding dong oh another dagron throw that in my inventory double dagron i'm feeling funky i'm feeling fresh i'm feeling fly how about under that dragon what about on the drain oh maybe that's where the dragons go yeah oh there's a third drink i had an effing feeling there's a third dragon what am i gonna do about the third dragon find it kill him hey you wanna cook some tea yes all right what a lovely flower too badass attached to a metal stem damn what a pessimist kettle is empty it's not safe to heat an empty kettle says you dude yeah i do it all the time you push it on your enemies faces it's not refreshing but it is hot i don't have any teacups we don't have any props anymore damn oh am i supposed to move stuff pretty little tea set if we were complete dude this guy's such a [ __ ] passive-aggressive dick yeah it must be nice if it wasn't so shitty sure would be cool i guess some kind of game wonder how it works looks like it need weight to control the catapult well it'd be nice if i had some [ __ ] props though oh my god put on stuff i was trying to get through this kid whenever there's weights ah and then you use the weights is that a checker piece yeah bro let me move that one up there hey all right whoops whoops so oh oh there we go [Music] nope how about a tiny little one oh so close but so far okay let's take away the tiny one oh you got [ __ ] me yeah there we go christmas this one's perfect yes [ __ ] yeah now the bridge is revealed show me what you got oh [ __ ] that's too much show me what you got oh dude that was too little a little bit of weight goes a long way yeah there you go nice now check this one out boom [Music] this one for sure oh yeah yeah yeah great job [Music] oh my god no you saved me oh god give me a napkin what if i don't want to take you with me i gotta blow my freaking nose in the fire you go wow dude oh whoops the kettle's empty it's not safe to heat an empty kettle well i guess i'll just leave it be then oh my god yeah oh look at all this stuff wait there's a picture of water what oh hello i wasn't her smile always lifted me right out of my sorrows who am i i don't know oh it's the nutcracker yes was he a human as well yes oh yeah mary became a doll and the wrecking's a dick i came to life as toys but by then we'd been separated you think if he had this shape-shifting ability he would change himself out of a rat oh word maybe he just likes being a rat you know give me that picture picture of water oh there's a rat trapped in the cage this calls for some oil why would i want to get him out he's a terrible person i don't know cool that they left him with his weaponry though that's so smart hey steaming the tee oh and then i grab the hot kettle and then i bring it to the melted block oh [ __ ] well that cat's going to be waiting like a [ __ ] year for this [ __ ] oh yeah yeah baby oh god how does this work how does this work what what hey how does this work what what up can we leave this in the hands of the professionals oh is that it wow that's it what what oh maybe you have to do five four three two one wait i don't understand this down down down what the frick yeah try doing the four after five it won't let me no one nope one two three four five one one two oh okay so i just have to guess ah oh boy uh-huh one two one okay one nope one two three four five one two one one two nope dang one two one this isn't how lock picking is yeah this this is exactly what it's like oh i think you did it one one two three four five one one two one one two three one one two what no no it's just one on the last one i already tried one oh you just pull it out maybe it's not on the last one one two one one two three pull yeah you did it aaron another find game a fine find game you did it aaron you solved the pedal riddle a cup all right cat right there cat where's the frog frog comb [Music] right there next to the lantern i like how you're telling me how to find things by pointing out things to find it's okay perfume perfume tongs where are the tongs jeez i don't know i can sharpen a pencil with this i'm looking all over the ding dang place for him i got a key nice dreidel they got a big ass cradle there and i'll take the lock this is a big-ass straddle we're gonna play hanukkah with it gonna complete oh there's the tongs uh there's a dagger on um where's the pawn where's the witch the pump there it is nice uh a fan [Music] where's the pencil i must find a pencil to sharpen hmm i see a seashell oh scissors as well wait why is scissors do you have to put them together good question oh yes here's one half of the scissors ah and the other half of the scissors right there oh my god yes [ __ ] sharp i don't see one oh oh there it is it blended in with the boosh very sneaky yeah great work oh and there's the middle dragon oh i can open the dragon chest now okay all right back into the room excuse me dragon would you like me to open your box yay all right we got a key hunting lodge key hmm two new members of a hunting lodge were introduced their oldest member how do i no where's the hunting lodge is this the hunting lodge oh god i don't know it's got to be man it's got to be ooh an oil can i can okay i can use the oil can on the door for the rat which i don't want to let go but i will because i'm a nice guy hello sir oh okay well we have to kill it die die i'll stab your heart [ __ ] better run oh there's a file yes now you can free the cat i could finally save the kitten yes excuse me friend something wrong here do it in the leg what wow i spring into action thanks for helping me my name is fred my father was a rather famous rat hunter he defeated whole army my father was the director of this game to him someday he let me do the voices it does seem that way a little bit burning but i'm happy to help you and the nutcracker here even though i'm racist against nutcrackers okay cool i really don't like them to be honest i hate them in fact meow oh my god why they made him like a like like a fat pudgy cat if they were trying to talk about like an agile friend that can climb trees i can almost reach dindy yes [ __ ] got it flower still two more oh god really damn it i have to detach the flower can i do that with the file oh dude the file's multi-purpose bro oh f yeah then maybe i can use the file to get the fourth rows absolutely oh man this is exciting i'm just like running all over the place i gotta foul yes man there was a party here seems that way like the [ __ ] demon door and [ __ ] look at this door quite curious isn't it i love you darling oh oh wow it's a christmas whatever mary it's a twist a christmas spherical look at a march don't come any closer i'll shake these bars i swear to god what the [ __ ] oh man oh damn wow the hell happened meet the rat king yeah we met him he killed our friend and took his girlfriend for a second oh my god damn they've busted him up pretty bad yeah it's like predator oh i remember that symbol that's to one of the drawers i think oh well i guess it won't let me yeah for sure it's uh this drawer [Music] into the cabinet [Music] back back to basic glue oh my god we can use that to put our friend back together yes please do you think when he like comes back to life as a human his arm is going to be all like i do i do actually oh that's all i needed oh it was hot in there thought i lost you you did i was dead i was absolutely dead oh gosh i've seen fear this looks fun someone stole the best parts or why is there a judgment on like what type of parts there are ooh nice that's an excellent question metal handle and a melting form nice oh oh secret scary doll 2 out of 25 baby oh my god there they go uh terminex um did you say german x2 wow we're no match for the orkin man i'm no engineer but i bet this thing controls the bridge and you can't for the life of me figure out how to use it but what have oh i'm out of melting oh what about you can you help i can help oh it's cold oh boy god damn it ooh a dragon i have a dragon right no i don't you use them all oh [ __ ] what's with all the dragons oh goodbye oh sneak attack your doom goose steps behind you oh yeah oh right in the nuts nothing like a swift kick in the ass you better [ __ ] run take that rat face hey he can't help that he's got a rat he's got a rat face seriously what can i use to replace this lever uh a metal handle oh man i don't [ __ ] know whoa hello there's a lever up there but i can't reach it maybe my cat friend yes oh that obviously doesn't fit there the hell do you mean there we go oh my god oh my thing did you see him swinging like indiana jones yes a new lever thank goodness or whatever oh the door's open i'm enter my herm oh god oh god you're gonna pay with your [ __ ] life rat you gotta run you [ __ ] nobody runs like a dude in a mocap suit there's a good reason for that i love to spend hours in the library reading books about brave knights wearing my mother's hat as a girl mary loved to read too her favorite stories always had happy endings i hated it and i hated her one day i hate the same book on the library shelf as we chatted she called me prince is he going great already it was a very stressful summer she would not give me back my tinker toys rat as nasty as he was portly he was watching us that day and i keep making fun of how fat he is not only was he evil he was also fat which i feel is kind of a double whammy jesus nutcracker what are you doing looks like a library i love libraries yay what sort of cobwebs are these are they from tron oh a bag of gold oh i can melt these uh onto the melting bar oh yeah into the melting form maybe i should go back to the stove to do that that's very selfless of you to melt the gold to well to just not keep it but to melt it into different shapes to help the cause i guess that's true i i guess you're right like i could just leave easily like merry christmas to you oh oh oh i wonder if i can use this lever yes hey give me that a silver bar dang silver bar gold bar dude what am i gonna do with these bars heck off that's what i've got 13 clues and dan here is in there merry christmas you sweet lovelies ah it's time for oh that dragon thing is shining in the back yeah because it's a thing i can click great just a little dragon symbol though do you have the fire [Music] no oh candle's gone did he die oh that's okay there is i no i guess it's just like an imprinted fire thing that you have to right there sure there's a better way well i gotta put the gear on dude yeah oh that's right that's what we were doing yeah so we're putting stuff on other stuff and making the magic happen they don't even you can't even watch it rotate into the valley we go into the valley of the shadow of cats this forge would be a whole lot more useful if i had a mold are you gonna watch that movie cats yeah oh are you kidding me yeah like a hundred percent yes really yeah oh wonderful come on you're saying you're not gonna watch cats and [ __ ] are you not of course you gotta use the tongs dog cause i'm gonna watch cats damn do you want to go with me yes really are you serious yeah yes because i want to see it and i don't know if i really want to or i just caught like want to for the for the story of it but yeah let's let's go watch cats together oh my god two grown ass men in the cats theater so susie is actually like a big cats fan so is ash oh dude or ash is just a broadway fan in general let's let's do it man seriously oh i'm so stoked for this like you've just given me a reason not to kill myself tomorrow good god man that's very funny is that all i need yeah i think that's it stars multiple starfish that's the mold need to melt some metal okay what other metal is there there's only three types of metals yeah for gold i'd imagine that was it oh what the hell ah it's a rat it's tamed a beast you think the wolf is riding the rat fire you'll miss i'm gonna use this guy no maybe if i light the oh no maybe the cat will be the okay that didn't work ah holy [ __ ] he's eating cheese that was like what a real dog would do totally pork what is that i don't know picture fragment okay yo i want that statue bro people who live in glass castle shouldn't hide things inside them that's good advice aaron i'm sure the folks at home will heed your words i didn't i read it up top oh god you did i didn't come up with it i didn't even i didn't even see that i thought you were like making a like a riff on people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones you thought i was as smart as a writer for christmas stories nutcracker edition wow for kremlin [Laughter] newt conquer edition i can't deal with this food climber not climber i can't move this thing without a wheel there's some things underneath it man it just kills me whenever there's oh you're right yeah i can't get that one you can't get the rabbit thing that's so obviously a rabbit oh no i can't oh i had to click it in just the right spot gotcha okay so now i have a rabbit and a machine sorry it's a hair figurine you get your [ __ ] dog i'm scared by the way i think i've told you about the rabbit museum in la no oh isn't it like some old lady's house yes she is a lady dang it there's four that we need um uh it is a lady who runs it and it started in the early 90s with just like one stuffed rabbit that i guess her husband gave to her when they were dating and now she has the biggest collection of rabbit stuff in the world no [ __ ] and uh it's the best it's the best and insane it's it's like equal parts uh fantastic and bizarre man i'm kind of bummed that i haven't seen it yet but i guess i'm excited that i can see it for the first time yeah you may be wondering is there a room in the back where the lady uh keeps uh taxidermy stuffed rabbits that she's formerly owned as pets yes yes there is there's that room thanks man i was thinking that i'm glad you cleared that up it's super fun and you get to sign the wall when you're there oh nice so you could put your signature the other two people no next to my dude that rabbit museum has been around a minute yeah people love it a hot sconch i know that sounds so oh that's what i was going to do i was going to click this right here oh oh i see some things obviously doesn't fit there no you gotta whack that with something what am i gonna whack it with my my penis i gotta find another piece of metal isn't there wait possibly leaning up against the house over here well let's check the kennel i was already in a candle there's nothing there huh i could open it from the inside oh is that the last piece of metal what's that oh a cat can climb ah the hell am i doing but the dog's not gonna eat it that cat is absurd the dog is like a real dog and that cat's like [ __ ] garfield from the bill murray movies moon metal oh yeah that's just what they call metal they don't know i don't know it's moon metal yeah you know every olympics gold medal gold silver bronze moon metal not just moon oh you really just made me want to go to epcot god i want to go to epcot right now um i think epcot's one of my like if if i had like a couple oh my god what have you done oh maybe he'll take out the other yeah you're free thanks to me now you're mine just jam you in my pocket and cup into my pocket you fool okay i need something magical to remove them i guess that oh hello maybe i'll burn the whole place down with my candle friends what the [ __ ] are you doing that was my kennel you steal me and then you steal my home all right [ __ ] yeah how about you shut your mouth yeah why does the dogs dude his knees are backwards did you see that dog's knees don't do that i'm the red a dog really is man they gave it like horse legs but all the things were reversed that's that was so bizarre that's good man that's good oh a little bear oh okay i guess i just take the paintings where i can put my 3d glasses i'm a master at finding hiding places all i need to do is find the trick to opening this one okay what do you mean it's a it's a compartment uh [Music] do i need a tool or something yeah yeah the collection isn't complete i got it i don't i don't know a [ __ ] rabbit in there what do you think just jam the cat oh hello friend i couldn't see this mary from the rat king i was just a child's toy no match for an army of rats they're gonna burn them alive yeah why not escape i knew they were after me so i kept running i karate chopped those rats and ran off there were faces in the trees that was not important to the story though a wise old cat appeared out of nowhere and told me this a curse is only broken with a kiss i'd have to get to marry before midnight unfortunately i don't have any lips just teeth it's going to be an awkward kiss sorry love ew do you want to break the curse or not excuse me wisely cat what cat glasses store did you get your glasses from don't wake the warthog he's sleeping there's a warthog in here yes oh geez no it's dead what wait a second oh hi candle boy you are useless candle yeah i need something more powerful than i can like hey what is that supposed to mean [ __ ] heard me did someone didn't want us she was got a prize yeah that's why they made this impenetrable fortress man they really didn't want anyone getting in here i mean come on oh oh a hair yeah ah that's i still need many more to go of course hey susie hi suzy we're recording oh an owl is that an owl no it's okay it's your house yeah i think it's watching me what are you staring at hi youtube [Music] susie says hi everyone wow that's that was like exactly how you would open your videos hey youtube oh yeah they're odd aren't they trophy heads it's not odd it's cool oh geez cheap taxidermy because the horn wasn't attached i don't know it looks pretty good to me i'm married to a taxidermist i wouldn't know whatever all right i need to i need i need another animal piece and i need this damn board to wake up help me out here okay pickaxe i need more picture pieces and then what's going on here a little slot a little slot for coins going there boy we don't have [ __ ] right now i know it it always feels like ah man when you enter a new place and it's just like you don't have any keys too bad huh what do we need stupid air what do we need for the the board above the fireplace garbage uh i don't know wait what what's what's sparkling on the thing on the what on the castle oh it's just telling me to do the castle really like right there near the little bar uh oh here yeah twinkles nah it just tells me the thing that you thought i made up oh all right dang the very clever uh i love it yeah i don't have jack dick man dude oh wait i gotta pull this cork but i don't have any things there's a thing in the window the dog head the dog head i gotta go all the way back oh [ __ ] i gotta go to the kitchen the doghead oh boy i forgot all about that good memory no it's mine oh no i gotta go to the kennel so cold wait wait wait wait go back go back what there was another machine piece oh and there's something in the gates in the gazebo well it doesn't have all the pieces oh fiddle faddle someone stole the best parts oh there's another machine piece oh oh oh that's where the two go oh what what do you mean two or three the collection isn't the complete the cl the collection isn't called ding it yeah girl darn it this is a gold durgan diggity dir all right kennel give me the dog dog put the dog in the thing oh yes so much crap yes all right walnut under the demon mask that's what happens when i can't find anything to [ __ ] walnut i'll just i'll just it's just it's just a walnut whatever i don't care gotcha but it is under the deep there it is okay cool uh thread oh that should be easy oh thread it's like a forum post china's chipped um chip of the chinese the chinese chicken the chinese chipper oh we could use that what am i to break here picture in frame scroll or wooden mug oh okay okay neat just guest there uh uh uh okay wrench all the way up in the top right corner i got a spider i guess neat um wrench is kind of hidden oh got it hey look at you with the eye thanks man put a picture in the frame there's a leaf to the right of where you are now it's to the yes bailey wolf wolf is in the picture wolf i took the wolf from the picture with my magic and now he is mine the wolf is man all of you will cry i think i see the thread thread yeah could that be it on the at the end of the demon nose basically nope you got it never mind uh train train ball choo choo choo choo [ __ ] where is tr i found ball okay oh there is train oh spin spoon spoon where are you spent it's so hidden here it is show yourself and wooden mug mag china's chipped i have to glue the missing piece back on uh here's some glue i don't know what would and then would the piece be find the other piece oh here it is ah oh yeah looks great good as new okay do you want my jizz mug all right great work all right you got the wolf puzzle piece yes but that doesn't unlock anything for me it just makes it more confusing oh there's other stuff this thing is tightly stuck in the wood maybe the cat no maybe the boy no oh um what's the purple thing purple oh it's magic it's protected by magic damn it i know i can't do anything unless i have so the doll you've killed another child by proxy you feel good about yourself do you feel like you've accomplished something with you feel like a strong man now your sad life can i like use you to pick out at that or no all right that's fine all right there's nothing in here for me do i have a wheel no man i haven't gotten anything yet [ __ ] maybe i can take these tongs no norp what about this what about that what about these fudge fudge man i can't do [ __ ] anymore let's just put the puzzle piece in and see what happens nothing's gonna happen but it'll it'll give me a sense of accomplishment wait where was it no i'm not confused this way yes and it was in here yes and then inside there on the chest and let's just wolf good there see all right worthless it's not worthless wait what was the sparkles there's nothing there's nothing here you're gonna hit the hint button oh right we're doing a show i forgot hunting log entrance look at the frozen puddle and take the ruler wow we missed that completely the ruler wait this isn't the hunting lodge or is it i don't know oh it is yeah it looks like a hunting lodge to me where's our ruler ah oh okay i was just supposed to click on it yeah i just now i know that what does the ruler do i don't know measure my dick damn it still three inches oh man i was hoping that year 32 of my life would provide a decent amount of growth i guess you can't can't fight science [Laughter] do i see a rat abscend with a key the rap has abstained oh no is that a doll done there's 25 yeah dude there's always been 25. oh i don't have time [Music] did i miss anything here did i miss anything here oh there's like a thing the door here did i get it a ruler maybe ah no oh the hint's back go to the kennel use the ruler to open the locker oh [Music] boy that's a little esoteric man that's a yeah that's usually it's like put star into star-shaped hole not break and enter a [ __ ] counter with a ruler that macgyver your way yeah welder something is wrong here wait what do you mean why is something wrong there oops man well you can put um you've got all the machine pieces now yeah let's do that play the game everybody play the game of love how do i play the game can you switch the machine pieces is there still do i need this crank or something oh yeah i guess there's more pieces click on the colored ball at the top left to choose the next one if the ball is the same color as the hole it falls into the ball oh interesting oh [Music] oh weird got it okay so red yes oops oh oh oh that works okay it switches back and forth red again okay yes no oh well okay so that's gonna go that way that's gonna go that way so green oh this is a heady puzzle yeah it really is bit you really gotta think ahead you know blue damn this is gonna take a hot minute yeah and then good job boom boom boom red you're smart aaron i'm not smart you're smart look at the brains on this one chew blue you're so funny where'd you get all your comedy from the bible yellow you're doing great yeah thanks very impressive then take it take it to get it read she get to get she gonna get she get to get yeah yes and then she gonna get shake it again she gonna get yellow correct uh-huh uh-huh yellow and then she gonna get sugar to get sugar to get green yeah and then red sugar to get it's going in a pattern oh yeah yeah and then after red green and green green no it was blue you dummy oh i didn't even see that wasn't closed sorry this next one's green i've embarrassed myself a freaking fool i'm sorry i thought it was clown you're always my smart friend but today you're my dumb friend yellow green you aren't you aren't a static human being you have flaws and i don't like it wow boom boom boom that's blue that's blue and then and then boom and then it'll just fall off the page boom and then blue they're more blue there's so much of this i know this is an awful lot red ugh and then boom boom boom bread yeah it did green get that you did it goku all right oh so many things to collect oh man orange slices yes please i gotta find an orange and then slice it mm-hmm such a nice treat in the winter let's do it why not hungry enough for the whole thing okay so what i gotta find a knife knife orange acne delicious cliff what do you mean not hungry enough for the whole thing what am i actually eating and like interacting with all this stuff i don't know it's just like i found it it's like oh i can't eat a whole orange no it's a hide and seek and eat game uh glasses are right there glaze to the left oh right there yes right there very descriptive uh yeah welcome there right there oh pine cone poinkel facts fox it's the little metal one i think literally on the on the partition on the partition oh he's like i've been avalanche ring uh wheat compass and hammer where is the wheat i see scissors that i will use to make the paper snowflake which is where paper is where is paper paper snip snip [ __ ] damn you cut that design out of it yeah this is very impressive nice wheat compass and hammer aaron the three basic elements [Laughter] [Music] where is my wheat and compass i know i put it somewhere it's hard to pull nails out by hand well then don't do it by hand you dumbass wait what did i find i found the compass somehow yeah i thought that was a clock watch maybe you could use that wrench to pull out the nail a tiki thing is like oh thank god my face and where the [ __ ] is the wheats right here oh goodness me perhaps that will come in handy ah to the animal thing oh right the animals oh i didn't use the hint button on five things whoops wrong one goodbye no leave leave you fool back to the valley into the porch into the lodge i can't go any faster oh god wait was it in here yeah i was on the wall oh i'm still missing one but you're making excellent progress i don't care i want something to happen i want to see an animation or something i want to solve a puzzle a game that's what daddy needs so what do i do with this welder i don't know better check my inventory you have a better world why didn't you just keep the [ __ ] pliers because since you need to take out 12 nails that's what i'm saying man like this guy isn't being very smart dogs i need to take this out too dog bro dog bro dog i mean what the age is this even going on here what is this cat flame christmas boy oh what if i use christmas boy to get in here oh what about cat oh lame already tried flaming it did not work and then this is all tapped out oh no i think the rat king saw me through this reflection the cops like all right tell it to the judge wait there's there's something happening there's a better way i just don't have all the things yet i need a wheel what oh wait but wasn't that the thing that i just went to what's this more missing pieces i can deal with it return to the library doors and take a closer look at the mouse hall what use the welder to cut out the fence and then let the nutcracker library doors all right uh library doors library is at the front i think the library that's the hunting lodge this is the life yeah uh take a closer look oh i can weld this oh come on jeez man that's a little much i know better than to reach in there let me send a friend to die don't worry if i die i won't come back his movements remind me of that freaky part in akira where he's having hallucinations i know little things are like oh a key scared the [ __ ] out of me when i was a kid you watched akira when you were a kid yeah like ten it wasn't good oh that's a problem oh no oh my god there's like a whole chase sequence oh [ __ ] jesus it's scarier than anything in the blair witch game yeah that's actually pretty scary all right oh wait a minute there's the wheel i'm going to take heavy artillery to dispose of this enemy oh [ __ ] yeah thank you bro there you go well you just gave me the the wheel to create the heavy artillery yeah i'm like dude thanks and i run away and he's like oh oh what the hell oh no oh dude oh wait there's no cannonball well make there be one all right [Laughter] it's been great knowing you um all right i have the library key but i can't i can't get in there yeah i can't do it let's find the bowls the cannonballs i need the balls child i require balls for my cannon uh it's all trapped by mage do you have the balls but what if i widen the hole okay i don't know what if a lot of great questions being asked yeah what if you uh if you just went in and widened that hole there not a violent person but rat king yeah oh my god oh boy it's like a gory like resident evil 4 style chainsaw the gooch scene oh no it's like oh my god those are fun oh what else can i do then i don't ha oh ah but that's not the right damn it that's not the library yeah what if you just push it uh let's see if i can fix the metal to open the lock i mean this is metal right okay whatever i'm done [Laughter] damn so there's nothing i need to restore the tea set you dumb bastard oh one of the child what is the child child [Laughter] all right hint go to the kennel scatter straw on the floor and take the bear figurine what oh i guess because there's that little bare patch of oh i just had to click it man i gotta start being smarter about this [ __ ] [Music] yeah whoops i just need to yeah that's all i needed to do all right cool but his obsession with mary made him more ambitious than the average rodent i'm more ambitious than the average rodent standing in his way he might have given up if it weren't for his discovery of a book of magic spells look at him crossing out her boyfriend what a psycho she'll be mine create a magic staff and mount an army of rats and a magic stand then sorry a magician turned me into a nutcracker oh he wasn't a nutcracker originally i thought he was just like telling flashbacks of her as a young girl and they just showed her with a guy that's actually him oh yeah i missed that sorry bro well we were making jokes yeah we were making goofs we were goofing i get it yay it's sort of the bit situation we can do the thing now um oh okay i don't understand are we having fun yet oh i think you're supposed to put him in the order of like who to eat what oh i see in which oh okay okay wow okay well bear goes first bear was first and wolf goes second those were correct um well last is the insect [Music] um and then wolf no i think it was the other wolf that's a fox [ __ ] can you put it back yeah okay so it was bare insects these are some fun puzzles man wolf and then what goes before wolf fox um either fox or warthog yeah and then then warthog is two after so [Music] hedgehog okay maybe hedgehog is after that and then whatever this one was [ __ ] that's dude this fox so little warthog okay and then [Music] over here [ __ ] i think i did it i did it in the wrong order that's okay just throw it in there and see what happens yeah okay so okay so insect rat and hedgehog were right insect rat and mouse were right mouse and oh sorry insect mouse and hedgehog insect mountain god hedgehog that got it okay this is a lot to do with my brain i know and wolf and bear go on the other end bear insect and then wolf and then fox and then that was hedgehog and then hair and then bore and then mouse yes ah that was the that was like where it would get mixed up we were unclear on that one uh wolf and then bore yes and then hedgehog and then rabbit yes yes and then fox and mouse i think yes yeah and the final piece of the puzzle oh oh don't even have to leave the room i can just go over here and put this stupid horse rider on here and open this [ __ ] and the cannonball can't get cannonball can you get the cannonball can can't what sort of cobwebs are these and then out then it's going to be like oh but you need something to fire i would not say such things if i were you outer cool i'll just put that in my back pocket all right i know these symbols it's the mayan calendar but two tiles missing do you do you know the mayan calendar yeah it's well anyway let's blast this snowman damn headshot multi kill i was violent ooh look at all these sticks and stones they might break my bins but more than likely they'll just open stuff up look this brick is loose i could find something to pry it out but [Music] all right open up the dang door with this library key oh boy oh another one of these huh what is even happening here yeah this is a complex lock the controller pieces are missing of course what okay so this is the key upside down oh i i guess i'm missing some pieces what does that mean i don't know it's the thing all right the fire rune oh then i can use it to summon orgoth kingdom of eldrog all right oh it was in the hunting lodge yeah and just to remind you you can just click on the map i know but i got you you're in the groove i'm in the groove dude ah the fire rune i need to put that where the where the dragon dragon lady statue that's over here for the ice place ah yes um the missing components and now i'll go with your method you've got no we've only got three of six um uh garden library you've only got three of the necessary six what how the hey am i supposed to do richard one of the bills now i know i figured it out you're smart you're a smart boy man smart man boy sticks and stones can break my bones but words will always hurt oh god i was not prepared to see him animated remember me i am your nightmare you're juicier than i thought you'd be candlestick i always love how he's like so so pure-hearted you know like that [ __ ] why were you stirring with a hammer oh up here funnel's screwed into the wall i can't pull it out by hand use the hammer what do i need the hammer for uh the nails above the fireplace oh word tink tink tink tink this is minecraft ah treasures and a human eyeball good glad that's there that's fun okay you know what i think that's fun a pen to what right 16 oh yes exactly wow well done i caterpillar the rope is attached where's there a caterpillar right there right in the center right in the hat oh look at that oh he was hiding in plain sight he was cute um key right there i don't know what i just got but uh left key candle ruby candles um river butterfly safety pin right in the hat for the rope snip snip [ __ ] uh safety pin right there in the hat saber safety pin in the hat yes um star star shell and necklace starlight right oh hell yes nice oh hell yes [Laughter] dude necklace i thought i already had a necklace oh it's right there yep and the star but where's the star you know where the star is uh dan sitting right next to me i was gonna say sitting right next to me no you sweet man oh god that's a skull i didn't even realize with the eyeball ah did you just see it yes whoa there's a giant centipede crawling on my wall holy crap look at the size of him what the hell they're cute how did he get in here oh they're masters at getting in places they're harmless though um yeah but they're terrifying they do they do look like nightmares oh there's a star hey all right great work perhaps this will come in handy oh map wow does this count as a gas grumps because the centipede is a giant [ __ ] centipede and he just sat he just decided to chill on the wall right next to the tv and he was like oh you all can see me oh cool dope yeah oh [ __ ] i love this game yo y'all playing christmas or whatever christmas or whatever damn this [ __ ] rules dog christmas or whatever that is exactly the name wait i don't understand what's happening we need to just try it and see what it looks like click on the controls to add blocks to that part of the key lock oh what am i what am i doing exactly i don't know oh okay got it show me uh-huh yeah uh this one gold this one goes down and then get one quote uh whoops oh no that works did it work yeah that works yeah and then that one goes here yeah that one goes here i feel like how should i do this this is this is pretty tough i'm sure there's a system to it that's much easier than what i'm making it out to be but this feels a little rubik's cubish as in hopeless nothing's hopeless nothing's impossible only improbable all right so that's stacked that's stacked this needs fudge yo yo hold a phone hold up hold yo this is hard this is like flat out hard so the the ones with the low hanging fruit you've got to clear those of obstacles let me reset this frick this makes it even harder see what i'm saying what the ones that are hanging low those are the ones you have to clear like you don't want any obstacles in there oh were yeah the the the lower the brown oh where the less stony stones you want on the key yo where yes aaron word word if i just do it one at a time that tracks okay cool yeah there you go um [Music] okay okay this is much easier this is much easier oh no whoops oh it ain't easy being cheesy it ain't easy being cheesy hey that's me okay oh that's just one that's just one oh snaps what uh i'm i'm messing everything up here no you're all right no i'm not all right try that see see where that gets you what try try this setup oh see how far it gets here okay one don't pick up the phone you know he's only calling because he's drunk alone two don't let him in you'll have to kick him out again three don't be his friend you know he's gonna wake up and you know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning what are you talking about it's a song by dua lipa [Laughter] you swine okay i'm sorry wow wowie okay so these are the ones i can tuck it away with this is there's a lot going on here okay yes yes this is it yeah i think i think you're getting it [ __ ] no uh i need to separate it okay okay okay check this out yeah did it yep bring it down this is it i just did it yep there you go and bring it over that should work yeah aaron mr smart man yes i'm a genius look at my brain and how big it is compared to yours i've got a giant [ __ ] head you're like a little lizard brain man it's not cause i got a bunch of water in here okay this brush works on magic cobwebs use with caution well thank you need that and this whatever this is [ __ ] half a ninja star it's a piece of a charm aaron i guess there's no reason this cat treasure should just magically open for me uh there's lots of reasons what do you mean this there's no reason this cash register shouldn't magically open you're fight you got a brush that does magic laying right next to it oh another one yay did they only get the rights to this one saw i think so yeah wait what did that do uh okay let's start with the top let's start at the top you know what i'm saying okay hammer what do i need to use the hammer for there's a carrot in the rabbit's lap carrot what do i need to use the hammer for okay uh either a birthday cup or a butterfly crack open the butterfly done gonna need that dice nice there's playing cards behind the picture frame bro knife playing cards look at us dude this is all teamwork hourglass [ __ ] darts crown and that's not clarinet right next to the lamp just to the left the cake looks so plain here's the top right above where you are right now two snowflakes and a binocular um how about a little birthday candle that's a great idea to get that cupcake on fire there are the glasses oh we are not going for glasses and two snowflakes there's two [Laughter] great work here's a trowel great work my father's dung these books don't look right empty spot kind of bothers me [Music] well there's four unlit green things and four unlit green books an elaborate staircase i think it's motorized well i think you suck and i hate you so what do you think about that all right we'll bump this well actually let me just hey look at those spooky cats oh look at them looks like a hint i need to keep it in mind huh okay pink red green yellow blue and was that mechanism piece another ah yes freaking like that don't you yeah you do yeah it's too low oh scary child got it tiny rat oh it's time could he be friendly he does look he's like hey i'm just hanging out never mind you've you've killed me this depicts it good the duelists are missing oh boy all right all right well i'm gonna start using this magic brush because frick oh i can already use it right there oh sweetness yes oh one of the figures duelists i'll need a tool to take this screw you're gonna screw me like this really all right i can't take it was there other stuff in the debris oh i should pry this out with than this nope i should pry this out with this we both had such similar reactions oh [Music] okay um oh god i'm scared this is very strange uh oh who would make this i think it's a good idea okay okay okay this needs to go out first though oh maybe and then this goes this is where it goes okay so this this first then this or not i might just be holding everything in place maybe this oh man all right all right all right oh boy all right i got this don't skip what a waste of time oh there we go okay good get the frick out of there dude well we're fricking get at okay and then move that down there so i can move this all the way over here hopefully [Music] yes and then move this down here get a little system going uh-huh yeah maybe oh you forgot one wheel um i did not forget one wheel okay well looks like you forgot yeah i forgot yeah you need to have them all like trending upwards to get to that one what's the deal with this one that goes all the way up here what the oh try bringing the other one down oh there you go oh that was a trick one daddy's smart they tricked ya what an unusual mechanism man who created it must be a genius what about the man who solved it my dad hates me oh my g what the hell is going on on floor two oh it's dude what it's the it's the mock sapphire dude tap it for one blue mana kill him what the hell oh my bad um it's nefarious and she treats his own servants deplorably oh sweet you'll get to turn them against him later provided you haven't murdered them all with the nutcracker i love this like he's like [Music] come at me bro creepy doll creepy doll what oh dude nice oh ouch the valve is so hot it's so hot right now well valve looks like your friend can take care of that this cat would know there's still so many charm things that could be sweeping by i can't believe it glass cube really come on in my time of need you look good glass cube me oh maybe my friend yeah man i hate mondays he just does that thing where he like kind of misses and then then he falls and it's just like what a crafty helper i have fantastic yes cane grapes and scroll bow mask whatever that is sled a genie genie um i have to rub the lamp dude do you catch it on fire i don't know okay bell bow hat hat there it is rub the lamp where is bird genie he's like oh no why did you steal me from my slumber jeez you're tearing through this yeah i just i just click the stuff that looks like it's out of place you know yeah apple shell uh horse wait why didn't it get rid of the shell well the shell's gone yeah but not from the item list oh weird oh maybe there were two shells and that like erased the two x here's the other one ah yes uh flower snip snip [ __ ] i have to cut the flower carefully dude you're not what it's not a mini game just just do it oh thank god now i can take the flower the very delicate necklace bird oh birds there uh next to the candles to the left oh bird hidden birds that was hidden in there damn necklace and boomerang oh the boomerang's in the top of the harp right where you are whoa yeah yo good eye that was weird yo it's getting hard i know um the class um um this yeah perhaps this will come in handy oh for when you need to get drunk later no i need to open the cork that thing is over here in front of the hottie lodge oh it pissed out a rune a pentagon amulet oh wait don't leave here yet there's some cobweb stuff inside oh yeah all right yeah there it is i'll use my magic makeup brush swiffy swiffy [ __ ] [Laughter] and in the chest too i think yeah oh oh feels so good chicken golden turd coins coins well i don't have it do i have the sledgehammer thing yet no that's a pickaxe pickaxe um what am i gonna pickaxe you know what i'm saying not exactly but it doesn't matter i don't have these can you put the amulet in the uh does it go into the mayan calendar thing oh word i don't know i don't think so but word though yo you're thinking word if it did yeah oh i don't know what that is the little handle wooden handle there's two little bones i'll have a bone to pick maybe i should pick it with this dang it i bet there's another hiding place here this thing doesn't open up soon i'll have a bone to pick i mean there's another hiding place here maybe in the in the lodge in the kennel rather well where the heck else oh maybe i could use you sister pricky at it no [Laughter] no oh what is wrong with you oh there's more magic over here sweet dude this place is filled with magic runes and stuff a youtube play button there's the button congratulations oh i don't know if i want to clean this one up what just turds and seeds man just turrets and seeds bro ah that goes on the calendar yeah it's part of the mayan calendar if that is in fact a calendar you're so used to saying calendar after the word mayan oh i think it is dude sweet i think he said it was a mayan calendar excellent all right well that's good we did that so the button where was the button the button was something where was the button the button was something it activates something only the penitent band shall pass there was a place where the button goes i remember there was a button and it wasn't that's not here but there's a button ah it's a fool wait what's that on the wall huh in the wall of the room you're in right now it's okay there's nothing i can do yeah when you go to the map it tells you where to go okay ah okay can you go back here there might have been something else in there in here yeah no i can't go to there anymore okay no i can't do it anymore what did you get uh i got one of these yeah yeah okay now we're cooking with gasoline i guess so all right man i guess my bells are jingling ring ting tingling you're really giving me a ring ting ting ting tingle bang ding ding ding do should i cook this or good i don't know what does it want me to do i don't think anything oh maybe the cat'll eat it nope use the candle to melt the frozen metal disc near the book on the second floor of the library holy crap all right okay you got it oh right actually i hit that arrow the metal book the melting wait is this the is this the book they're talking about well that yes just frankie do it there's a little bit oh he didn't look back that time he wasn't like i did it okay got that maybe the button goes there i remember there was a thing about a button but i don't remember where it is now fudge oh there's no no big deal use the oh the cash register oh fiddle dd yes yes more coins i'm out of here i'm [ __ ] out of here forget this [ __ ] drop it in shank yes yeah oh my bad oh a little bone cool i've got a bone to pick you've got two boom yes baby now i have to rotate you've unleashed gold's off oh interesting red [Music] what oh it swaps them yes but so what are you trying to do here oh word yeah what's the goal here move the balls so that their colors match the rings oh oh no but word though stop with that please oh yo this is easy as hell is it yeah dude and then rotate that [ __ ] rotate that [ __ ] easy as hell dude let's [ __ ] rotate that [ __ ] bring that in rotate that [ __ ] number one and done all right now do the blue you're all set up for it blue dude this puzzle is like nothing yeah this is way easier than the other one damn cakewalk i've got a bone to pick how [ __ ] though oh [ __ ] though yeah bro check this out dawg yo check this out dog boom baby [ __ ] switch it up boom yeah oh i'm talking about you get to die in the well oh there's a statue missing meow oh now he's getting cheeky with me okay cool now you can put both those on and those must be the cats the the colored eyes matter too remember the order that was written on the wall yeah dog stop what are we who why are we talking like this yo but word though also we've been playing this game for an hour no we haven't been playing it for two hours oh my god aaron beat the little flag thing yeah trust me it wasn't that interesting to watch no it was look if we want to get into it it was it was go but the walls didn't count i think a lot of people don't know what go is oh go is a is a chinese game it was originally chinese um about uh capturing stones so you surround stones with other stones to capture them um it looks like othello but it's nothing like othello um i guess it's kind of like othello uh but anyway it was go rules but like not really like the walls didn't count and the walls are a huge part of like like trapping somebody into a wall right so if you run into a wall then you're safe anyway whatever i got a [ __ ] cat yeah you got the cat you got the cat statue and let's check that um thing on the wall one more time ah book oh wait oh what change there nothing yet i don't have all the books okay cool um yeah let's check that okay so pink red green yellow blue pink grip all right let's go let's go back to the yes it's roy g biv ah where were the [ __ ] cats down here down in the well yes uh cat make the cat here put the cats in the place ooh creepy yeah okay so it was pink wait yeah that'll switch him got it pink red red green yellow blue yeah dawg oh my god my dad's gonna be so proud you better be hey usually i will go [ __ ] ape [ __ ] i'm going to kill my dad oh my god that's all there is to oh wow a temple yeah the cat temple yeah there's like ancient egyptian ruins or something goodness oh that's what that does did you did you knew that was gonna happen oh what did you knew when did this become a tool video what is that uh it's a pissed off rock man i guess i'll use the hammer yeah the hammer of thor if only i could reverse gravity yeah if only how many times have i thought that to myself ooh the mining thing do you have uh a gemstone that can go into that hammer by any chance um you mean the one i just picked no dang it well i'll see you later oh that matches the thing on you this thing you boy gloves what do i do the coins for though i better get some kind of what it said when you clicked on the coins what oh that was when i was clicking on the pickaxe oh i better get some kind of handle for this you got to get a handle on that all right where were the bones the bones they were in here yes ah yes the little bone triple bone all right oh there's a second one yep frick that always feels terrible when it's like i figured it um i'm halfway there oh wait there's a bone behind the thing oh yes baby how did i not see that okay and what are these oh god damn it two out of six rivets so [ __ ] all right back to the wait no the map tells me where to go uh-huh uh yes i was going the right way um nope just the fl wait over here this is where that's where the coins go oh shh put them in the slot kachink yeah more rivets so i go to the coin star it's not working oh boy and every time i go to the coins it's almost screwed into the wall do we have some kind of i got rivets i got rivets and i got divots i got rivets for freaking days oh wait a second can i grab this with my gloves ah no maybe you're just tired maybe this hint will tell me turn the red hot valve on the wall on the second floor of the library obviously that's where that is stupid bastard okay oh that looks red hot i'll take it and the valve he wrote it i took it i wrote it and i did a good thing that's andy sandberg and uh seth meyers poking gentle fun at their buddy john mullaney oh they they're like that was a john mulaney sketchbook oh creepy doll oh oh yes oh nicely done like john elaine didn't wrote that sketch didn't he and and it's ever said yes wrote it as one does [Laughter] ugh that is a perfect impression it's so easy to do an impression so specific [Music] excuse me sir yes that's where it was valve now it is open yes a bunch of crap duck duck perfume comb uh what the [ __ ] is this that looks like an awl dull potato anvil glasses gun cherries oh you have to chip away at the ice here we go chip away chips cherries cherries [ __ ] chip at the cherries the cherry chicken tambourine oh the star-shaped tambourine uh a little lower a little lower a little lower a little lower right down from where you are right now timbre green boom it's a tamborino ring flower a little timber ah there's the flower glasses gun perfume fishing net fishing nets around the bird perfume fishing net uh glove no there's no glove gun glasses and ring gun uh gun gun oh no i don't see it crab hat doll glasses oh good oh guns in the wheel it's hidden in the wheel oh yeah god you're good at those and the red the ring um could that be it on top of the orange that is it it is it ah perhaps this a tiny net is a death sentence take it oh man what am i going to do with this net pull the floating island with the rat closer that's what i'm going to do with the net and i'm gonna do that right here i'm gonna go on that yeah don't throw an enemy how could you throw a name oh god maybe i can cut it oh man i don't have anything to cut it with oh yes i do oh kill him cat then i cut you so you're invincible christmas warrior king was just a lowly lab rat his master was a genius named is this the turtles i guess turtles oh look at me so cute yeah ordinary objects into gold but now he's fat he's had great success blurring the lines between science and magic love that album he took risks ignoring the fact that the smallest miscalculation could have disastrous consequences so he just did it all willy-nilly in a park bench the royal family outlawed jesus it's like daenerys just flew through yeah all right well i did that great okay super whoa did i get something to put in there yes no that goes in the um uh the hammer oh because it makes everything float ah frack yeah yeah you're really a smart dude well i can i can see that the hexagon shaped jewel goes in the hexagon-shaped hole that's about as smart as i get here we go baby boom floaty floaty hmm now i will take the book i will put together the hammer here comes the death mr snow oh it'll just fall apart if i use it like this what do you mean how the hell oh that's what you need the rivets for dang it i see um [Laughter] how do they keep track of all this [ __ ] yeah i know right we put a book in there was a book thing i know like my brain would shut down but he didn't give up his research he was on the verge of a great discovery his balls was banned from the royal lab i found him obsessed with the kingdom's great scientific resources he decided to use his lab rat as a spy argus thought he would go rat the rat just runs away and eats cheese monster he's created the rat king was born i made the rat king yes yes the golden rivulets the golden rivulets of glabbos of course why didn't i think of that all right then yes let's jam them into that jam box [Music] and now i will use it here comes the death oh [ __ ] oh god oh not again submit to me monster attend me [ __ ] wow that was straight brutality oh dude i will take the amulets with the rocks and i will place them firmly into my anus i need something shaped like that slot oh there we go all right okay i found good i can piss so the fountains in the temple i should fix them oh okay i gotta fix all the fountains i gotta do the fountain what am i what am i a plumber oh the nozzle on the fountain is clogged better use this to pick it out look on his tooth something floated to the surface let me grab that discus the round key that goes to the book it does i'll just let that i'll just let it get waterlogged for a long time just the book round key yes [ __ ] more things i know right what will the rocks i have fit here i have rocks maybe those oh they don't i mean all right so i need five of them [ __ ] why isn't it ever enough oh oh hello oh hi oh cause they're making things float wrench pipe pipe not even a use use the red wrench oh pipe [ __ ] dirt don't make fun of me oh smash this [ __ ] open oh i need this whatever tool this is yes that is a weird thing man f off it's a glass box just smash it with your fists that'll open up a lot when we get that uh whatever screwdriver oh yeah jam box word yo that's some word and a hat girl oh yes back to the other place okay this isn't gonna work till it's fixed well i don't have that [ __ ] just go back and put the [ __ ] rocks in maybe run all around to the snow and the cold or fast travel with the map but either way i don't have to like it man could you imagine if you weren't here and didn't remind me of that slash tell me and i didn't know what is that oh that's the handle for the pickaxe hell yeah dude and there's so much i could be pickaxing right now yes yo this game is going into [ __ ] overdrive right now we're hitting turbo now i just got [ __ ] nitrous it feels good i don't think we've ever finished one of these games before dude i'm so st if we can finish it on this episode i will be very pleased me too me too it'll truly be the greatest christmas of all it will dude it will ker chunk pickaxe baby grab that [ __ ] smash that like button and go ahead and subscribe to the channel nicely done yes i'll go back and i'll open the dragon tree the key the tree boom bam in there it goes yeah out there whatever this is stone gear i guess that goes in the fountain word get down there dude i'm not going down there yet because i got places i need to pickaxe bro okay you think i'm just going down there all willy-nilly i gotta go [Music] something is wrong here i have to keep digging for clues just one more strike ah damn something put the charm in yes i need another half of the charm damn it well there's another pickaxe thing in the kennel yes on the wall for chunkies for chunkies more gear just like richard was there more was there more that was it uh pickaxing oh that was it for the pickaxe okay oh did it break yeah good i don't have it anymore satisfying and then down here into the thing shove those gears in there baby one and then the twizzle a two yeah float something up to me and what is this green goo but that could be helpful oh okay little gloves nope look at the look on that lion's face oh yes look at the look on the lion's face though real quick just like oh i didn't mean to eat that [Laughter] whenever i go to my grandma's house cigarette every time i wish you would cook her chicken more okay just one more float me something good baby the float means something good look at all this [ __ ] dude oh the other half of the charm i'm cleaning up this odd shape might be telling me something looks like the star wars oh like the imperial symbol yeah uh um oh what's going on here something magic wha what is going on here i'm unclear it wanted me to go here hmm well let's just do what we know we can do yeah whatever we're uh uh wait where was it no the hunter's lodge hunter's lodge into the lodge there you go put the charm inside there's the final rock excellent my dad will be pleased boy once you've like unlocked everything and opened every cupboard and smashed every wall you really have devastated this area with what with your hiding and you're seeking hell yeah boom baby now that's the last rock nope that's the fourth one well i can go up here now oh [Music] save me no for a doll you really are on the move a lot please they just drop and it's like i mean seriously you could just [ __ ] kill all of them yeah however oh no i'll never break through their tiny seal oh well all right feed me something good seymour yes put it into my nasal pass my snoot oh what about this floor ah things stones won't move it's just a mechanism of some kind i'll just take this thing a wedge and this thing girl oh it's a dreidel maker yes of course okay creepy doll what where uh in front of the statue [Music] oh it's parisian look at him he's like this is my jar jar there are many like it but this one is mine please don't touch my jaw it is mine okay well hmm so what's the wedge got to do with anything could the wedge open that glass box uh i don't know try it well there's so much new [ __ ] happening what what is new here uh yeah try it on that try the wedge on that a stray screw i should take it use the wedge use the wedge no no blast it uh what about right here seems like there's something i can do here oh i put the mold in there ah yes should i put the wedge inside no well i need some heat yeah okay well i don't have the metal i guess yeah yeah i think use the gloves to take a piece of ore out from under the stream steaming pipe oh all right never i didn't even know there was metal there the second floor of the library is a little visually confusing yeah ah got it oh look at that i'll be damned all right got it back to the forge no that's the kennel god you [ __ ] damn it uh or what what do you mean what do you mean put the ore in dang it you [ __ ] hint use the hex key to unlock the glass cube key is that what this is no i don't have a hex key here wait look through your inventory i think i have to make the hex key with this mold um that's that's the hex key there it is oh man i should have just looked at it that's what i'm saying dawg fudge dude i'm a full almost thread full okay oh so that thing's everywhere yeah bro triangle okay cool i will go upstairs to the second floor open that puppy up it's got a dragon scale right there yeah sink and i believe there's one in the hunting lodge too a hex key thing yeah really i think so oh you're like the memory man i don't know why you got all the memories right up here i think it's maybe near the kettle or something oh yes right there yep dude you're so smart and good at remembering things funnel baby okay oh you got to put the ore into the funnel yeah bro cause it's got to be liquid when it goes in there yeah put the funnel in yeah yeah and that'll burn your fingers yeah we that burns it in the thing and now take it out why can't i dick dick my hand in there i don't know aaron but now you can use the hexagonal key for what i don't know do you think i care let's can i do this now oh oh the wedge yeah yeah bro that thing is tightly stuck in the wood but if you widen the hole well that's what i'm trying to do [Music] i'm out here trying to do this do i need a hammer or something try pushing it one more time i did widen the hole after freak sickman i don't know i didn't know what to do i [ __ ] hit the hit thing one more time no no i gotta go over here you sure yeah yeah here we go hexagon oh boom hey all right that's beautiful that looks like celtic knot whoa now it'll fit in the dragons that's right it'll boop a snoot yes i'm gonna boop the [ __ ] out of the snoot oh thank you how wonderful oh barrel sounds hollow i guess someone could use it as a storage place oh i i can store my penis in there um okay i don't have a heart i just don't ever hurt is there anything else in here all right map time okay this is getting like so yeah it's starting to fall into the place now what's in here oh oh my god it's time oh yeah slingshot yeah boy oh goodness me the stairwell my god give me all the stuff oh and this thing up here it's oh my god oh oh no yes this does look wrong okay let's worry about this in a second uh there are pieces missing okay great got it don't have to worry about it right now we're good there's a dragon scale where where right on the stairway what the hey it's bright and it's shiny oh snap dude i don't even freaking see that see you're my eye in the sky bro yo you're like my helicopter creepy doll jesus that one is particularly creepy yeah he's sitting in way too life like a pose i'm over here ooh yeah scale and a hatchet just like the book hatchet i hate it emeralds the game calls the green stone oh uh the mice rub their fur against the coil and that produces electricity i've got to short their circuits you mean kill them yeah basically all right yeah just use the axe something in the bird cage i can't get to it it's all electrical ah something in that bird cage oh oh yes yes the naughty cat bird that i've been stuffing in my pocket this entire time well he has a rope he's a grappling hook wow didn't see that one coming to deal with what the cat can do yeah i could have done hey cat you got that grappling hook yeah man right here thanks man i'll use it boy oh boy you don't have to it's bizarre all right let's finish this puzzle cow this looks wrong oh there's still pieces missing okay funk oh freak funk um i think that's all i can do in here it seems oh nope there's more yeah that's that looks like a thing for sure skull shaped key oh man all right let's get out of here and find a place wait there is still something i can do in here apparently what is it ah key to a secret passage oh oh oh oh oh hex key hex key hex key twist it twist it we're in baby yes that is in fact what i am talking about oh but i don't have the right keys to move around gear ball balls where's richard when you need him he's the only gear i want he's an officer and a gentleman boom oh damn okay what the oh what it's a tiny dead clam oh nope it's a snake snake amulet well i think i'm done with the kennel now that's gotta be it right i don't know it gave you some very triumphant music a snake amulet go back to the room and put the snake put the gear put the gear in the thing and then use the amulet on the snake ah yes oh yes i've been biting my fingernails all day he scoffed at those who dared doubt his genius like most non-psychos do and very powerful a drop fell on argus's skin turning him instantly into the very thing he had sought all these years ew pure gold i love gold [Music] he'll be fine was left alone without the one friend he'd had in the world he couldn't return to live with ordinary rats what a tragic story and thoughts he put on a lot of weight admittedly hmm wow there he is maybe i can disenchant him oh geez it looks you know when i like exit this it looks like he's like look at all this [ __ ] what am i gonna do with this all right uh clamp um screw doll ball whatever that is scorpion balls and dolls strawberry flower flower goes where uh oh rat whatever this has uh rabbit's foot oh should i grind the flowers bring him much luck what's in his hand now did it change shape what this yeah oh i think it like opened uh okay it was like a lid peppers uh thermometer for thermometers next to the it's next to the test tubes nope [Music] thermometer where the hell is the rabbit's foot it's right here where the hell is the pin clamp pin card pin card card uh-huh uh yeah here i am i don't know where the [ __ ] it is i can't find it card where is the pin it's gone forever i will never [ __ ] find it couldn't be the syringe could it no no no i mean the one that's in the little bottle next to the test tubes this yes is this a bong yeah it looks it looks bongish this is [ __ ] ripping fat clouds oh no i turned into gold before [Laughter] where the hell is this pin boy oh you you got to be the one because i swear to god it's one of those ones where it's just like hidden in oh in something that's like the same color as it oh here it is oh great ah the scorpion now it's all organized this looks great oh boy oh dear when there are tools is he making prosthetic legs for the rats yeah oh maybe he was hell yeah and hell yeah dude i've got all of the dragon skills creepy child yes that's gotta feel good it feels so damn good like those hidden dolls um is there anything i can do down here with the where was the cross key forget it or [ __ ] get it i'm [ __ ] out of here f this s dude don't even get me started on the s's that i can f don't even are you getting me started i think you're in the process of getting me stuff you're getting me for getting started right now and i don't appreciate it i feel very very started well he's got the bird mask of like oh yeah little doctors a bones yeah um do i have any of the tools i don't know touch the sparkly [ __ ] on the on this oh i can take the hook i guess get to work building a super nutcracker once i look at all the tools i need oh dude i can i can make the nutcracker have armor and you can go up against much more rats oh my god you're gonna you're gonna jack up your friends yeah that's epic i do like it all right let's find those tools use the green stones to open the first bookshelf the stones yes yes of course of course this is my fault i thought the books would open that [ __ ] but i was a fool my hubris no no green gems stupid [ __ ] god you're an idiot you're so stupid i'm missing just one more part well i don't give a [ __ ] hmm unless it's that part we just skimmed over like a crosstalk nah that's fine okay you don't even worry about it put some scales over here boom and boom boom thank you boy that was itchy ah oh oh boy sure we want to go um don't mind us i'll just take this teacup be on my way that's a lot of rats okay that's a lot of rats wait check out the skull one more time oh oh this is where the cross key goes oh yes yeah boy castro yes you wanted to check out the skull yeah just because it was still sparkling oh word or a little match magic perhaps oh i have to enchant the the skull and it's like oh goes after the boys nice who goes after the babies with the boys having little babies possessing with the boys oh i can i can melt ah i'm doing it the stones won't move oh put the snake amulet charm and you've got a scorpion one too oh look at this little square and we're missing the spot that's okay [Music] or maybe it's in the cash register maybe let's put it there and see what happens push the button yeah oh it's the last piece oh for the uh game which i forget where it is it's on the stairway it's on the stairway outside of the science chamber where he turned himself to gold right uh yes no but i have a teacup that i can ah yes put it there and i'm still missing a bowl okay still missing a bowl yeah it would be a pretty little tea set if it were complete yeah it would be can we [ __ ] focus for one minute and there a pretty little tea set meanwhile the rats are murdering mary t for one please [Laughter] there it is okay okay put the tile on yes ah oh my god yeah okay okay it's gonna take some doing [Laughter] [ __ ] okay all right here we go yeah uh-huh [Music] yep there we go this is what i'm looking for okay uh yup yup um okay oh my [ __ ] god my brain is exploding dude [Music] oh boy that's funny okay rotate no um no no no no it's all wrong [Laughter] okay okay easy easy is it yes okay yes if i just [ __ ] oh boy no no it's fine [Music] watch this you're not watching oh i'm watching intently um i must know now that's what they that that's why they call me a legend do they yeah probably [Laughter] i'm the bad guy duh um um all right um okay i got yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no big deal no big deal all right nbd bro all right yes that's an nbd right there yes yes maybe yes no okay yes yes yes yes this is it uh-huh that's the move you did it okay that's the move one down baby one down in the bank and then i gotta put the bulls in the center yeah yeah holy [ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me oh oh man holy [ __ ] this is this is for the birds yeah this is rough okay well i got these down here okay isolation baby that's what you gotta do uh let's let's remove these bad boys um let's no yes yes yes yes no yes well okay no [ __ ] why is this so hard it is tough this is a very tough one uh unless you're like one of those rubik's cube kids who can just be like done rubik's cube kids huh you ever seen them do it they'll do it in like four seconds flat it's remarkable yeah it's brilliance sheer brilliance it is something i wish i had um alternatively we could hit skip dude what do you think i am some kind of freak you did it yes now that's genius silver star at its best okay great let's check the map and the hints um there's something i can do in here right now do i have a tiny tool do i have a tiny tool hmm oh i can put him up here i guess oh god we can build him better faster so they wanted me to abandon my friend oh yeah like just put him there not just abandon him but leave him hanging on a hook yeah we'll deal with them later yeah haven't you ever seen uh what's that movie um texas chainsaw massacre hang them on the meat that's a bummer that's a bummer of a scene right there oh nice i like to believe she lives oh yeah man ah there it is she's screaming covered in blood in the back of a pickup truck yeah things are in good shape oh no she lives uh i meant the girl on the hook oh yeah it was a guy in the new one really yeah they switched that up rose whatever this is flashlight coil something here i need the to get the number i need what uh there's a saxophone on the left side behind the thing it's kind of hidden right a global ring a butterfly butterflies right in the center butterfly dragon a ring a palette the palette's right there uh under the drama mask under the drama mask yeah right there oh there you go four and unlocked handcuffs ooh somebody just took a spicy [ __ ] yeah is that you no yeah i [ __ ] my pants dan it's the cats oh man that's brutal yeah sometimes they just drop a nice horrifying turd i believe i see the key under that tooth necklace that could be it it yeah i think that's a lock oh it's a lock well the cuffs are on the on the scale the cuffs are on the scale yeah yeah yeah so we just need to unlock them why is this glowing i don't know where the hell is the key it's a beautiful camera man that's [ __ ] stinky yeah that is a rough shot your cats should see a doctor yeah they should stop eating is that a key why is this one shimmering it smells like the [ __ ] ymca locker room in here all of a sudden yeah i don't like to shower every day i feel like it's wasteful i cannot for the life of me find this [ __ ] key hit hint we've got we're running out of time here right here oh i could not even looking at it i couldn't see it yeah hey perhaps this treasure will come in handy i i guess i use the the magic skull ring nope goodbye damn it oh god damn it where can i go now there's too many locations now i can't keep track of everything i know it's like no wonder the okay so that's right now i can use this no uh oh oh it's a little skull box yes yes you're right yes yeah ah the tea set [ __ ] yes that'll make a nice little tea set we're going back to like day one yup yup bring it back baby oh [ __ ] baby um put that t it's alive oh we gotta set em all up in the right okay yeah what um plates cup saucers i know but oh plates what the [ __ ] how what is the logic here can you only move um i don't understand this can you only swap them when they're the same color i don't i don't know uh well those can't go up here we go nope i think you can only switch things diagonally never mind yeah this is very strange daddy does not understand me neither man this is blowing my mind a little bit but those aren't supposed to be there i wasn't even supposed to be here today i hope i don't jack off try to get the green bowl down the green bowl yeah and then down here and down here i don't understand this at all i think you can only move things diagonally but why can't i move it up there then i don't understand right wait red plate blue glass maybe red plate blue glass yeah could can you switch can you swap those no skip it i swear to god there's no rhyme or reason to this like is this driving me insane this is actually driving me crazy you could you could hit info info click on two pieces to swap them note that you can only swap two of a kind hmm what does that mean i don't know oh it can only be like bull you you click on the blue ball or the bowl so this is green or a plate yes if they're touching if they're ah got it so this can go okay got it i like this now yeah suddenly blue get down here and then i can swap yellow i can swap [Music] if i put that up there then dude yes now this is fun okay cool i like this this is making me happy good yes yes get the plates down swap that mf plate bro so i need to get that blue bowl no blue bulls are up there oh no there's no adjacent pieces okay so if i get all of the things on one shelf then i can really start going at it right swap it swap it swap it yes yes oh here we go here we [ __ ] yes swap that [ __ ] oh no you [ __ ] it up oh i did no wait no i didn't okay i didn't because then i could do this okay boom okay boom [ __ ] uh-huh sorry oh yes yes yes is that not right this is we'll have to line them up for the colors now oh weren't they lined up for the colors nah bro all right because the the on the top see oh yeah and then blue over here you're gonna make a nice little tea set yes dude oh this was i like this one yeah this was fun once it once it started making sense it created uh it created a nice little like and now my sushi is here dude congratulations but i can't yeah all right we had our food okay we're all charged up i ate that sush and i and i and i found out i i found out that we are extremely close so close yeah to beating this mf game we've never beaten one of these before to my knowledge maybe we did but i don't think so mirror oh gingerbread boy yarn spool hat lollipop broom um uh potato okay glasses there are little john lennon glasses on the on the kettle thing uh oh necklace to the lap john lennon glasses yeah uh down right from where you are down john lennon got asses yarn spool deer and kitten cat knife to cut pie eat pie hmm [Music] where's that confounded yarn spool perhaps this will come in handy candy makes you dandy and randy and it comes in handy oh my god you ready for this oh yeah you better run yeah you better watch out now that i've conducted all the electricity into my body oh forcep ah oh you can make tiny nutcracker man nutcrackerman not crackman oh i gotta use mr grappling hook hi there i'm not not crackman you may have uh this is absurd yeah might as well just have like a rocket launcher so yeah seriously oh there's the tarantula piece excellent what is this a scroll with a mind of his own craved power first a few jobs soon he had a loyal army under his command the rat king's rise to power alerted the royal family the king called on the famous pied piper of hamelin to draw the mice away from their mad leader i'm really that famous i'm very famous take my word king and his piper had underestimated the rat king oh crap he turned the pied piper into a child's toy it seemed anyone who tried to stop the rat king was doomed not on my [ __ ] watch oh there he is piper uh acid oh yeah the from the fountain oh word all right well how about this how do we contain it though uh we contain it by um who would look at bars and think i need some kind of acid to eat through these yeah right there's a lot of like lapses and logic like yeah that works this is the acid bowl oh there you go stone tray little traces of acid on it excellent it's down here right yes the temple the temple of ash temples don't spill it don't spill it don't a drop i'm gonna eat i'm gonna eat that later i'm i'm an animal i love hot soup oh my god oh burns what is a bird all right i'll get burned um yeah oops got a little acid on the pied piper but whatever man it's okay and he only counts as one random ass doll he's a human being oh my god are these all the human beings that he turned into like oh the dolls are people oh my god that's how f this is dude that's super aft the clarinet aaron oh well i don't know it was just like a long tool i figured shut up you know me you must defeat the rat army by playing this tiny clarinet yeah well i i have to actually that's you're right oh hooray i gotta use the clarinet on the ah wait what is the music i just hate it oh what yeah okay that clarinet was more um more intense than i thought wait i can't send my nut cracker friend in here like this the nutcracker's perfectly willing to take on the racking but he needs armor yes dude this is the final this is it this is a boss battle dude this is exciting i'm a little bit i'm a little bit hyped up for sure has been quite a journey get this uh screwdriver oh i guess i have to do it myself okay how the hell does this work oh did i just chop off his head it's fine oh there we go helmet um that's that's the back okay yes no it's not the back i'm embarrassed oh i just have to click on it wait what shoes shoes arm oh well and now okay better arm the armor needs rivets what what needs rivets oh okay i'd be better be logical and start with the list how is that logical i don't know fys dude you're killing me taking me apart what happens when he becomes a human again i'm sure it'll be fine [Music] it's kind of kind of [ __ ] up it's magic baby okay the armor needs rivets okay all right just put those rivets in rib it up how am i supposed to put the rivets in put the rip rivet are these oh these are rivets ah uh i should secure the armor with rivets what the [ __ ] oh maybe it's talking about the head armor that you put on him oh uh no turn him around a little um i don't know what it wants me to do this is hard i should secure the armor with rivets yeah no [ __ ] sherlock maybe maybe you have to use the uh little screwdriver first um hold on maybe use the screw maybe use the tool on the armor instead of the rivets themselves you can't use the tool oh interesting grab the armor these rivets maybe bring the armor to the rivets don't understand um uh um touch the screw remove the arm touch the face there put the front breastplate on okay yeah oh well there you go got it boy he looks great first i should secure the armor with rivets you should have said no first i put on the breastplate there we go you goofy goon yeah seriously making [ __ ] all confusing for us i mean like word am i right legs first i guess yeah yeah i feel the same way ah they will come off if i don't fasten them okay oh go eat a dick right damn he's like much taller now yeah he looks quite a lot more badass this dude's like oh man yo this is pretty sick all right here we go so what happened with the other rats you played a clarinet and then the dinosaur skeleton came alive and started breathing fire yeah you know i guess that part wasn't super clear to me but not really so be it and sword oh [ __ ] please bro oh do you think do you think mary will think it's cool yes oh dope yo i look sick man i don't have i don't have any of the dolls man you got a lot you got like two-thirds of them two-thirds yeah that's not good enough well the rest of the people will be fine they'll just turn into people wherever they are and hopefully they're not in too confined an area yeah word okay where are you going okay what guess i'm just you're now alone that's cool didn't have anything planned not like i'm the man who has [ __ ] to do or anything like that by all means aaron go do your own [ __ ] thing no i'm happy happy i say to be left alone here dick in hand i mean uh you weren't supposed to know about that aaron oh sorry okay i just thought something was burning really i think it was just a little stray rice on the rice cooker uh [Music] might have just been the power of that cat [ __ ] yeah that's a spicy [ __ ] i was like did i leave the stove on but i didn't [ __ ] oh damn like whatever [ __ ] oh he's coming for him like so tiny compared to him yeah oh [ __ ] oh no what's he gonna turn into uh dad he just turned into dead oh really yeah he's dead king has been defeated who was saying this is safe but the curse must still be broken remember it all started in the christmas special you got some monster hands dude yeah better to hold you with all right oh the magic wand all right let's go back to the christmas hall i guess yeah sure it all started in the christmas hair come inside ah and then seal them up and sell them on ebay our hero placed the next whoa yeah where'd we get these clothes [ __ ] sparkle of christmas what if he like grew but like he grew inside the armor and he's like the two lived happily ever after until merry christmas your loved ones you especially you i can't forget you yeah we did it man oh my god look at the candle did you like my game holy crap that was fun hey man thanks essayist vallejo yeah isaiah this is anna ricks man so many people worked on this game yeah this is wonderful like andre pacquiao and peter f moth a lot of eastern european folk yeah i guess so i guess this is an eastern european company wait who are all these other cats wait a minute i remember smart cat and i remember my cat but who are all these other cats and i thought i changed them back to humans oh god i'm just a candle born and die what did the butler do to deserve being in here he just [ __ ] fell asleep he just fell asleep at the door if that is in fact him might be someone else i still don't understand how there was a party going on before i showed up i was really excited about this party and i showed up late and nobody was there anymore very strange very strange i got nothing maybe they were scared off by the rats yeah oh man this came out in 2012 bro this game's been floating around for seven years and we never played it i'm i'm feeling a little ashamed right now what are we doing with our lives i don't know man like what are we idiots yes yeah yes we are i think so well that was really fun yeah man i had a really good great time i'm so glad we finished one of these yeah me too i hope we can finish more yeah why not i mean there's always next year

Channel: GameGrumps

Views: 394,876

Keywords: lets play, walkthrough, gameplay, egoraptor, danny, game grumps, gamegrumps, funny, arin, letsplay, gaming, jingle grumps, christmas eve game, christmas game, christmas lets play, game grumps christmas, game grumps compilation, christmas eve games, christmas eve games and activities, christmas eve games to play with family, game grumps christmas power hour

Id: WetnDO5sPMs

Length: 650min 3sec (39003 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 24 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/emp_raf_III]

It's a Scrommnas miracle!!!

[u/Beardly_Smith]

Is this going to include every time they've played Mario Party?