Best of Game Grumps: The Legend of Zelda Classics

[Music] foreign [Music] everyday [Music] foreign [Music] and we're the game grumps welcome to game grumps uh what i'm super [ __ ] excited about we're gonna play legend of zelda apparently your favorite game yeah yeah if it's not number one it's in the top three of all time wait i don't know how to get out of this it was the band's game uh select uh no no no what oh god this game is harder than i remember yeah let's uh elimination mode oh there it goes okay um no just like spiraling down this like how do i get out of here and go to elimination and i can't go to it's not letting me what the [ __ ] zelda sit wait here you take it yeah see if you can oh well you did it good all right i i will name us it's pronounced spjarp [Laughter] and we're done mystical magical sp let the quest of spionf begin enter that cave do it go in that cave old man gives you swords it's dangerous to go alone take this okay fine take it done oh i look i love how that's just like you take it and then he's like well [ __ ] sam yeah it's like that's not fishy how are we going [Laughter] holy [ __ ] so yeah this has to be one of the greatest games of all time right i i i adore it i just remember like the first time look uh playing the game looking at uh the little green dot on the gray square and realizing that was like one screen where you were in the world you were like oh my god no environment could possibly be this enormous for those of you wondering we are playing on the golden uh cartridge version of this because aaron is a man of class and style whoops yes my my my classy room filled with uh beef jerky that was sitting on the ground for two weeks it was a piece of beef jerky that aaron was eating in the last game grumps uh session that we did and uh lo and behold it was still there this morning just being jerkier than ever man what a jerk nailed it tell me tell me to leave and i'll leave i know you brought it you brought that one home boy i brought it home and i [ __ ] locked it in the closet and i was like don't ever come out beat it beat it to death hello are we just hanging out here is this should i can i you have to you have to bring her the scroll and then she gives you potions but but you want a lollipop or something that's the kind of thing that like um like when you were a kid and like you encountered something that you couldn't interact with oh wait meet the old man at the grave is that all we're doing here is that oh we're just talking don't trust her yeah she's the old lady in a cave yeah meet the old man it's like oh thank you old wise lady and you walk out the door and she's like raisins oh man yeah just go to the graveyard oh okay i guess if you actually went up to an old woman and she yelled that my first instinct would not be to go to the graveyard it would be to go to anywhere but yeah wherever you are at night to find the old man bring me a scroll to make medicine yes of course i'd love to you [ __ ] walk up to the nearest policeman [Laughter] any other weird demands bring me a football helmet filled with cottage cheese felicia day i love you a tasty treat as do all nerds everywhere i oh you remember names well i mean they used zoro they were much different back then yeah they're all elegant now but back then they were just like yeah yeah take my spitball in your face sorry it's secret to everybody well not everybody i'm here and you're [ __ ] here all right i'm here you're here it's you yeah our audience of hundreds of thousands of people here do you want to go do you want to have a blow no okay all right all right go go so it's a secret it's just everybody left and go up okay it's dungeon time baby whoa yeah whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah should i try over here [Music] why not it's just it's like so excited it's like walking against the wall like can i do it here oh man for a lot of us this was like our first game you know so it wasn't like i played a thousand games before like i've beaten plenty of them i'll i'll there will be other games you know whatever like it was like no this is it my chance of glory you know like if i die i have to start all over again all of my progress will be lost yeah yeah it's the legend of spjamf will not be able to continue i can't believe you remember it's beyond i had already forgotten if you were like right now i'd like put a gun in my head it's like oh god dad why are you doing this you'll be like what do we name him i'd be like oh god no something from the 90s i didn't commit it to memory long enough i love the like face he like puts on as soon as he like holds something up he like gets rocky style triumphant and his eyes are a little crooked so he's just like the pain of eight bit the pain of eight bit yeah it just tries to move and his eye moves up like a foot and he's just like ow all of a sudden you're sloth from goonies bring my eye back down a pixel baby [Laughter] sloth what juggling oh [ __ ] as soon as you get whoa mimi what are you doing what's going on she's gonna give me a hard time trying to get out oh yeah amy let me get up aaron's squeaky cat mimi oh i got a boomerang she's already lost interest in leaving now come on mimi she's like i found a new thing yeah and that's the trash can get out mimi what are you doing here she's a sweet cat but god damn if she doesn't annoy the [ __ ] out of me always blabbing about her mom [Laughter] jesus it's like go get a hobby oh that dragon's a lot sweeter than i remember i know right yay i just want to hang out have some balls do you want to play with balls why are you shooting me they're glowing wow that was it huh damn i guess i got me some truffles boy yeah i remember that feeling of like beating a dungeon and coming out back into like the world and being like yes yes [Laughter] i can now move forth with confidence i've done it let's do it yeah man dodging these was crazy like when you have like one half a heart left and you're like no no no yeah left right right no no it went right dear got it yeah i'm left handed this guy is gonna [ __ ] your [ __ ] i'm busy except what did what did you not think i could do it did you not believe in me i just remember it being really hard when i was a kid master eugene you can have this oh okay you can't have it yet i thought you had to kill the guy and then you just get it yeah i thought if i haven't how am i supposed to master it if i can't [ __ ] pick it up off the ground what a dick move once you become a sword master at this exact sword i won't give you like how does he even how does he even know yeah like you're just like i just killed that [ __ ] centaur knife hand yeah let just take my word for it i'm a master it's five oh that's too much right yeah that's too scary [ __ ] super wreck next time on game grumps i push out of this no i guess just go down oh damn yeah okay oh god no no where are we what have we done i remember like going up this uh like these repeating boards when i was a kid and just being like oh god i can see forever [Laughter] what has ha why why haven't i moved i've slipped into the infinity time stream okay okay well now you have to go all the way around oh monkey tits whoa sorry that one caught me by surprise but it just switched to the boomerang god so much work that was awesome what did they always flee like right afterwards he took the heart and you're just standing there like duh what a nice man yeah you just that is weird like just like well just me and the [ __ ] [Laughter] forever burning i need to give the [ __ ] the [ __ ] paper what if i give her fire she's like i've already got two things [Laughter] damn it she's impenetrable just keep going down oh down yeah [Music] [Laughter] right i always thought it looked like a fingernail oh yeah like a clipped fingernail yeah yeah but like a grody like gangrenous ah take that and it like stops them in their tracks because it's so gross all right i'm fine now but ew those are called ropes ropes the snakes yeah they're called ropes it's adorable yeah makes them less threatening like especially when they attack with this super fastness it makes it makes link look more like a child idiot yeah it's just like look at the rope hope it doesn't bite me oh it bit me fingernail i'm sensing the extremely subtle idea that perhaps uh they wanted me to use a bomb here [Music] why do you believe that i don't know the bomb placed squarely in the middle of the room hey hey not for nothing but uh here's a bomb i know you could just get them anywhere but here's one you know just cause here's one you like it [Music] what's up [Laughter] whatever whatever happens happens what are you up to [Laughter] [Music] what's going down boy that wall looks pretty doreless you you killed everyone there's almost no one left why is this room here but you're feeling all right any more directions that we can [ __ ] make this reference with how about um my daughter was drawing a picture and she was drawing it diagonal up incredibly subtle you nailed it and a little bit to the left no it's not this one but you got the compass all right sweet i'll find that triforce piece in no time [Laughter] skadoodle battle how weak an enemy do you have to be to just get knocked with a boomerang and be like i don't think any human being on the planet my life when you get hit in the head with a boomerang you're like ow and probably just yeah yeah either either you pass out or you just get really mad thank god i'm not a sentient drop of water gonna get in the head with a boomerang is not the same as like getting a hit in the head with like a baseball or something because getting hit in the head with a baseball is like ow oh i know it was an accident but why do i play this but a boomerang is like dude come on oh next time on game bronx hey welcome uh welcome today welcome back you just have to do it every time yeah like i hate doing the show did you ever i have accepted vomit at the beginning get out of here okay it's so hard to stop doing that voice yep wow you want to give it a shot real quick oh damn it yeah i'd love to get my ass handed to me immediately in front of lots of people that's what's so cool about this game you can just do your like level eight let's give it a shot and then some enemy like [ __ ] flaming dark nut comes out of nowhere and it just like stabs you and you're just like well i've certainly learned my lesson let's give it another try let's do this four or five more times until i realize it's completely fruitless oh man like all my experience with japanese musicians like you know is it time is it time to tell the [ __ ] lark unciel story oh man let's do this please one of my all-time favorite moments since i got into like anime and all things nerdy which is more or less since the beginning of my life um was uh i went to otacon uh in 2004 i think and this band called larkunciel was um they were there and uh they they did the um music for full metal alchemist that's right yeah yeah and that's what registered they they did music for a lot of [ __ ] um what was it i don't know they did a bunch of theme songs for m a yeah lots of different cool anime things they did some naruto yeah yeah and um so like they came and did a show which was incredibly rare so uh in america rather and everyone freaked the [ __ ] out and they sold out the baltimore convention center and it was like a big it was a big party it was awesome and they were into it and i guess the lead singer sweet here we are i guess the lead singer was like he had made the effort to like learn a little bit of english uh before he came to uh to perform here which was a super nice gesture but hilarious because like his accent was very strong and uh so he wanted to like get the crowd charged up so he tried to do the the are you having fun thing like but it came out are you having fun and then like because it was baltimore and like everyone eats crab there that's like baltimore's main dish he tried to make a reference to that and he was like you eat the crab [Laughter] and then the next thing he yelled was like something about baltimore but it was so unintelligible it was like [Laughter] it was amazing and uh so he aaron found the i guess the largest on dvd yeah it's on dvd live in baltimore that actual performance so we are going to watch it and we will get back to you and see if we can find footage if they left it in of him talking between songs and yelling me too amity and you can you can rest easy knowing that on that dvd dan is in the audience oh man i sure was losing my freaking mind because i believe i was drunk at the time and laughing uncontrollably like you were drunk and it like warped him but like you watch the dvd now and he's like are you guys having are you having a good time and everyone's like but he's like yes me too me too i'm also having a good time yay but in your mind he's [ __ ] [Music] [Laughter] that was a fun time i tried but he said i hadn't mastered it before not giving it to me oh man did you get the sword from the old man on the waterfall did you get that sword from the guy who won't give you the sword he was being a super dick about it and he's like yeah that's like him he does that [ __ ] man oh man who would ever take the potion yeah right what a short-sighted like oh i don't know would you like a million dollars or this lovely sandwich like i'm so hungry i haven't eaten in a couple hours it's the most delicious sandwich we just passed a rest stop the next one won't be for 30 miles [Music] you just you're like all right sandwich like begrudgingly even yeah i just imagined like a dumb guy like i'm hungry dear witch the [ __ ] this is the guy who's like [ __ ] giving in [Laughter] it's a secret to everybody hey don't tell anyone that if you blow up the side of this mountain you'll get thirty dollars [Music] seems like a long way to go to keep a secret my friend is he just gonna go there and cover it back up with rocks yeah not until i get another 30. what was he doing in there to begin with no i've sealed myself in here for centuries just oh do you want to play the game of chance yeah go ahead i'm going with the left left yeah yeah that's a [ __ ] straight up high five we should have done it more than 10 away from the [ __ ] most amount of rupees you could possibly have now now we're just tricked out is 255 lives yeah oh we gotta we excuse me we gotta buy some [ __ ] okay that's it's like it's like a [ __ ] like business account yeah it's like i just have too much money you need to spend it or else you're gonna have to pay all of it and taxes you're gonna yeah you're gonna get [ __ ] by the government if you have more than 255 just go out and buy an expensive dinner it doesn't matter yeah just get a brokerage account i think the good people uh our lovelies i think they knew as soon as we started doing zelda that there would be a couple episodes of just walking the countryside it's pretty impossible to avoid in this game game grips is better than school i'm gonna say it right now you learn things and get to hear dick jokes you also laugh a little bit yeah sometimes uh hey guess what next time on game grumps we're going to go across this river right here oh you mean this one right here oh god okay we're going if you want to be batman you've got to commit to being batman i won't watch does family die [Laughter] [Music] that's an amazing alfred and we're back i guess oh yeah sorry i guess we're playing game gums let's do it yeah come on don't mind the beep yeah you're there bye you have to you if you want to be batman you have to conquer all the bats in the room it's my favorite voice that you do conquer your face batman batman me on the physical [Music] [Laughter] [Music] that's outstanding you have to watch out for the leaping larry leaping larry would have been like uh like a 40s batman villain look up in the sky it's leaping larry he leaps [Laughter] he leaps with no fear did you ever see the uh that's true i know it is true that is true have you seen the um the breakdown of like the 10 worst batman villains of all time there have been some [ __ ] garbage batman uh villains like who none come to mind right now i believe there was one like a quilt man like he just had like a quilt let's see 10 worst batman yeah like i just i don't remember specifics i just remember thinking god this is horrible there's no excuse this is terrible oh no mr freeze mr freeze was pretty bad but he's in a movie so he's cool how bad could he have he's like tragic that's he killer moth killer moth was bad he was actually a moth yup the clue master yes he was a failed game show host yup [Laughter] it was like uh it was like the wwf in like the early 90s where like they were just like running out of gimmick ideas and they were like let's have a clown his name will be drink i'm not i'm not kidding you because they doink the clown and he was a villain he was a villain yeah and what batman no no in the wwf in fact i remember very clearly he fought macho man randy savage our favorite guy and macho man you know how they would do like the pre-fight interviews yeah i remember macho man ended his uh interview with like [Music] [Laughter] oh i love how they have to like play it up even though it's like the stupidest thing imaginable yeah it's like okay macho man that's a little that's stupid enough for like doink the clown yeah he's just like oh yeah uh doing i'm gonna take you out go funny [Laughter] that was terrible that was a terrible uh apparently humpty dumpty was a batman villain what and dr double x oh no apparently there was an already in dr x there's a dr double x oh yeah crazy quilt crazy quilt that was him he was a former painter who used his paintings to leave clues for his criminal henchmen in his paintings to instruct them on what target they were to steal next oh so awful wow yeah hope you're listening christopher nolan heights man kite man blue kites charles chuck brown was a man who loved kites almost as much as he loved crime [Laughter] oh it's so bad oh killer pancakes dude legend of zelda is not as long a game as i remembered it being yeah well it's only long from all the wandering time yeah it's a lot more sequential than than i remember it it's sequential when you know what to do right like i think there's a couple dungeons you can go in and you can just do it [ __ ] around and like win without the items you need yeah it's so much more satisfying to collect all the stuff though yeah but just just the fact that like you have the possibility to just like go wherever you want oh look at this actually this exact board is perfect for what i now own i am now the proud owner of a tiny ladder i did it mom your son made it do you like what you see some old man cryptically tells you i remember the rapture isn't an important device i like how scary these things look in the dark like what is it oh it's a [ __ ] hershey's kiss it's like vibrating and coming closely to you oh god i'm really hurting for i wanted to say a squirting that's not what i you just wanted to say it because it just sounded nice doesn't sound nice at all oh god next time our game grumps will worry about some other [ __ ] okay i'm not gonna make this same mistake again when i plant the bomb i'm going to keep my distance oh that's much better walk into the waterfall okay thank you thank you don't go chasing it don't stick to the rivers and the lakes you should be used to them oh by the way we did get a potion between game grumps episodes oh yeah yeah and we loaded up on bombs because i was nervous as [ __ ] i yeah i just didn't want to bore you guys i didn't i like it felt like an errand like i have to go to the store and get bombs i'll be back with some milk two percent two percent [Laughter] it tastes just like whole milk so don't even don't you know it's better for you and it tastes the same yeah i really have to play it cool how can you play it cool when two little tiny penis says no no the flying flaming dragon head that's really hard man that's creepy yeah i guess i'll continue but i don't have my potion anymore ah hold on i gotta go to the store it's okay she's super close to here we can play that game of chance and save our game every time that'd be the ultimate dick move and then when it doesn't when you get minus 40 reset [Laughter] and the guy's like you look familiar but i know you've never seen me before i did something about you and minus 40 rupees ringing a bell you won a u.s government 20 bombs they help support our troops and so no to this day like nolan bushnell's like he like you know he regrets it because like whenever you ask about it he has like the number in his head yeah he's like that two thousand dollars right now would translate to 17 billion dollars and 78 cents i don't like to talk or think about it ever including exactly right now this moment [Music] it's [ __ ] a lonely ass propeller for you wait for it die boy this is really expensive yeah you know what that's not a good sales technique buddy oh my god i can't believe i'm [ __ ] gouging you on the prices like this but hey you bought it and now i am blue oh it's so cool it's so pleasant looking it's just a normal store oh even even his tunic changes oh no way really yeah he's i love it he's like always one step ahead of you thanks for the new outfit buy something you're like a trendsetter he like hopes you don't notice did i accidentally stumble on it i think you accidentally stumbled upon an empty floor yeah sorry i guess we must have done that before good job dickwad oh man you clipped my eardrum but that's fine it was it was funny oh audio jokes yeah yeah love it as long as when i like this place it's not an impossible place to get to no kids don't try this at home unless you're a kid with a lot of time in your hands and you and you and you aren't like [ __ ] just completely ruined opinion-wise yeah like call of duty yeah yeah or you just turn this on and it's like what is it i know that you looks like a looks like patchwork you can see squares everything's made of squares i don't think i can kill these guys now i don't have enough problems i gotta come back here later and then uh the top you can bomb oh crap i don't have any bombs oh no no mommy mommy used all the bombs on the doting i did i did jesus christ these guys healed some bombs though i didn't even pick you to be my your partner are hurtful i need [ __ ] bombs bring them to me my fist will be hurtful come on shut up oh my god this game grumps episode took a turn for the worst right at the end hey welcome back to the place we're gonna bomb boom damn it okay and bats bats bats back back bats dang you [ __ ] 100 accuracy in those bags straight up i am a bat's worst nightmare i bet the kids at home love it when we do [ __ ] economics jokes yeah yeah yeah here's one for you yes how about the dow jones oh i bet he's a downer [Laughter] he like comes to parties he's like hey guys and they're like oh hey jones he's down today when he's up he's the life of the party but when he's down everybody gets sad and they can't retire correctly [Laughter] damn it my 401k is [ __ ] up uh the nasdaq like ness quick that's so ridiculous oh man of course next time on game grumps more prevalent stock humor that's not the end of the episode no it's not hang in there for five more minutes i'll explode my way out of this there you go yeah nice work thanks man when in doubt light [ __ ] on fire and blow it up remember that children remember that only in the context of zelda yeah terrible advice otherwise and always light your mummies on fire all right i'll do it right now do it hey mummy mum the game grumps taught me to set the mummies on fire they go into like a museum exhibit and they're just like [Music] oh sorry i was i was talking these are they call their mummies oh i like my mommy on fire oh god sorry mama that's why i used a little [ __ ] pimp cheerio exercise oh i just thought you were i just thought you were having fun i thought you're having a grand old time that's usually usually specified by my use of a british accent hello i really love this arcade machine he's having a great time it's just you and me sea monster we're the only people left i had to actually run away i got overwhelmed by the one enemy we're the only people left on this screen oh you need to get the magic sealed but you just wasted all your money balls i gotta get 60 rupees again damn it next time on game girl next time i get him no don't don't don't you dare sorry sorry sorry i'm [ __ ] there i'll kill you go ahead go ahead you say it was gonna say hey hey that looks like a delicious croissant i'll put butter on it slap it up you [ __ ] he's constantly just like ah let me hug you oh aim at the eyes of goma i will thanks um he looks a bit like disgruntled he's just got like this long mouth just like [Music] eyes leave so i can put my arms down yeah he's like he finally has to put his arms down he's like oh thank god and i'm just like i gotta puff back into existence again did i [ __ ] tell you about gomer and his eyes yeah maybe you'll remember from that time i told you literally eight seconds ago that would be so easy to program just keep track of how long it's been and it just says that yeah literally eight seconds ago dude good to see you [Laughter] have you adventured long enough yet is your mom proud of you oops oh wait your mom's dad whoa because i mean you experience it like that stuff like magfest yeah where like it's lots of people wanting to talk to you and stuff like can you imagine that being your everyday like magfest just nonstop your whole life i mean that's why that's why those dudes like move to france and [ __ ] oh yeah that doesn't make sense i mean that's why uh dave chappelle went to africa for a while yeah i don't blame him he was just like i'm done with this i gotta get away and gotta go to the fricka talk to people yeah and then everyone was of course like he's gone insane yeah so stupid how could he possibly leave this life of luxury yeah and by luxury i mean constant harassment yeah from studio executives and normal people constant hanging out with his six-year-old child and people going i'm rick james [ __ ] yeah i never thought of that gotta be weird yeah wow his kid must be like older now huh dan you've done it i've done it i think you've raised the bar for all human being intelligence i've said the stupidest thing of all time hey you know what you're probably older than you were when that photograph was taken oh my god good one you know what i bet not only is his kid older i bet he's older wow i know crazy [ __ ] crazy thoughts oh my god you've gotten the wand of whatever now everything in the dungeon is your [ __ ] [Laughter] it's true it's you by the way uh someone i can't remember who it was but someone in the comments uh requested that we play super mario sunshine i love that game me too can we do that yes it's the most feel goody feel good game i've ever played it so is until you play it oh is that right yeah like you just have this memory of it and you're like oh yeah i'm just like spraying water music and everything and then you like miss a jump and you're like god damn it you piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] and then you get to like the the special stages where you don't have the backpack it's all just like floaty blocks it's like pre galaxy and you're just like goddamn ah you have like 50 lives and you're like i can't make this jump i can't make this jump this is [ __ ] and then three years later you're like that was a really relaxing experience yeah yeah it's i i was just spraying water around it was really good really good time so i am so down to places but yeah i'll play it yeah but you actually you play it and i'll watch and feel good hey damn have a nice summery experience how about we talk about mario's sunshine uh we're like [ __ ] marcus oh well played my friend the tables have turned the tables have turned and now you're a professional oh dj god that's ridiculous uh what if i play this whistle no no don't don't don't no what did you think a tornado was gonna come and carry me [ __ ] 80 feet away maybe maybe i don't know i've created too many bats i'm now intimidated by the number of bats [Laughter] even though they're simpler and easy to kill there are so many yeah i am agoraphobic with bats i'm afraid of open spaces as long as those open spaces contain bats one bat too bad fine seven bats too many bats too many bucks for me this [ __ ] magic she's going back and forth all right no don't kill me no i'm done die oh thank you for the bomb [Music] this is zelda it's never that oh god oh well should have used those arrows mommy all right back to the potion woman you've ruined a perfectly good white person whoa that wasn't from me that was that was from racist character that i was playing that's important that we establish that barry before you edit this episode please do some research and see if we just uh set a slur of some kind thank you if not leave it in if not we're cool and the episode continues we're not racist damn it i feel like i say that way too much the fact that you say it too much yeah that's a bad sign for how for what the kind of [ __ ] we're talking about i don't want no don't stay with me eat the prunes bring me the pros go live your own life not my god this is shad this is the saddest grumps ever we've been playing this game for a long time this is when the dark [ __ ] comes out yeah yeah we're on [ __ ] level six dude ugh this is when it becomes yeah we get to like dungeon eight and you're just like i killed a guy once don't tell anybody especially not the 200 000 people who are going to listen to this seriously have though have you ever killed a guy [Music] [Laughter] that was a hard dungeon man that took me a long ass time yeah dude level six oh that's where [ __ ] starts to get real you won't even believe what level seven has in store for you just just people punching you in the dick the second you walk inside oh there's like a brand new meter that shows up like tolerance to dick punch it's one peg and you get punched in the dick and it just disappears yeah like you have like 12 full hearts and one empty dick one empty dick is that like the new [ __ ] wall flower [Laughter] [ __ ] this is a new one we just wrote on the van right over here called one [Music] next time on game grumps more and hot 1997 bad music action card copay yes yes we got the crooked sword with the jaggy edges you can have this give it to me shut up and leave yeah does anyone ever like think to comment on how weird it is that sometimes the old man and the old woman just like like form out of a cave cloud oh yeah like they're like it like stays there for a second and then it poofs yeah like they really really want you to know that they use magic like they're waiting there to show off and then when you're impressed yeah be home and then you walk away and they're like all right yeah they don't even say anything like helpful behold you need to get a map yeah go to the cave uh talk to the guy all right great it's like you didn't need the show yeah okay boy it sure is expensive [ __ ] jesus how can i justify charging prices like this this is really expensive you should go somewhere else ah 20 for this peanut butter and they'd be like yeah i know right it's like well i guess it's worked for welcome to walmart where we're dead inside okay um apologies to anyone who works at [Music] walmart yeah i remember the first time that happened when i was a kid and like i was with my friend josh and we were like oh my god it really is a magic whistle will they freeze me if they have you with their boomerangs oh like they like you freeze them yeah i don't know i don't know i'm not gonna let him [ __ ] find out block that [ __ ] with my giant shield and then nail him with a master sword it just hurts you it just hurts yeah they have like blade boomerangs what else would it do ah the boomerang it carried a magical spell on it thank you boomerang when it hit me and cured me of my aids didn't even know i had it thanks boomerang for diagnosing and then immediately solving my aids problem diagnosis yeah it hits you like this just kidding great news your aim is cured what bad news but good news i'll say the bad news first because good news executes like the starbucks oh yeah i would like more bombs give them to me thanks for being kind of a jerk about it yeah i bet you'd like to have more bombs i bet you'd like a hundred dollars back can't have it always oh [ __ ] i bet you like to beat this dungeon right now no i just came here to visit i'm leaving soon we'd all like many things to happen i got a job and a wife to go back to and i really don't have much more time i really i went overtime honestly i had too much fun in this dungeon i gotta go dude [Music] i bet you'd like three women blowing you right now [Laughter] wink well here's some more yeah i bombs you like three women blowing you right now with the [ __ ] like minus 100 rupees thing and you step over it and it's just like all right here are the bombs yeah it's like oh [Laughter] [ __ ] no wonder they vanish after giving us like information they're dicks next time on game grump more dicks whoa uh okay good talk buddy oh jesus christ oh was i not supposed to stab him was that not supposed to i'm getting already upset why are you adding insulin these boomerang throw and troll guys are not nearly as difficult as the wizards from the previous dungeon oh yeah or the [ __ ] uh dark nuts and then yeah it seems a little bit out of order doesn't it the room full of city yeah maybe maybe a little bit maybe they're just trying to like like amp you up you're like dude i'm so strong now i'm taking out these dudes and then in temple 8 it's just like oh god no what is happening 17 dark nuts and they're red there's so many nuts i love how link's the only person in the world who like sees a candle in like a dark cave with bass and he's like that's [ __ ] mine yeah and he holds it up like anyone seeing this i know they're right but damn makes me feel good oh god little respect please can i hear a hell yeah and the bats are just like [Music] [Laughter] wasn't ross like no it's like lobster or something what yeah he said he said it looked like something completely unrelated what's that your ross impression by the way yeah that's my california it's like a lobster guys guys i'm ross [Music] whenever i do a ross impression it's always like what are you wankers doing oh my god you went again can i hurt myself on that uh fire that's just sitting there why don't you go why don't you go and give it a shot good i'm just gonna give it a try buddy yeah can i hurt myself by sticking this fork i can't believe it the fire is hot i'm gonna go tell my friends i feel betrayed by the elements hey billy yeah where's that fire [Laughter] yeah what about it [Music] [Laughter] do you know that you wouldn't understand it's a doctor who referenced even i'm ross oh welcome back to game grumps what sorry we were just doing more ross impressions it's a doctor who reference from episode 45 uh sub section b you wouldn't understand have you watched it it's very good and then there's a sandwich between i love ross he's great yeah yeah we always do have to say we love ross because we absolutely do but my god what a [ __ ] douchebag i hate him so i hate him i would kick him in the nuts if i could i you can no what's happening he's got nuts of steel does he yeah that's what all aussies do you didn't know that a little known fact about australians nuts of titanium of titanium like whatever mechagodzilla is made out of that's what his nuts are don't [ __ ] kill them what are they going to give you oh wait am i do i just bomb just go right ah they're going to open up the wall for you i thought yeah you're right i was going to try to justify my actions but there was none you killed the dodongos and then like king dadango comes through and he's just like boom like breaks the wall he's like i'm gonna get you for killing my family also you can walk through this door after you've done killing me so that's convenient for you how about that oh god you staticky bastards just leave me alone they're constantly like like halfway in between hbo and cinemax yeah like you're trying you're trying to watch porn and then they come in and gets all scrambled and you're like god damn it dude leave the room oh damn it's unicorn oh it is a unicorn dragon yeah oh well and now he's dead you know somehow i thought that the union of two incredibly powerful mythical beasts would be able to take more than two shots to the solar plexus but that's fine we gotta try for us accomplishments who will guard the seventh temple the last temple before the final temple with ganondorf the dragon's like [Laughter] how about billy bob he's just like huh do you think billy bob's up to it see i like pancakes what are you talking about you guys talking about me are you talking about me or pancakes because i'll eat both [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] oh why haven't we made a [ __ ] joke vlog yet oh it's like a whole like a daily vlog that's a great idea today i went to a [ __ ] store at walmart i was at the supermarket and i was squeezing the various melons and i was like this mounds feels weird and like comment and subscribe and then i realized i don't even know how to check the rightness of the melon because i see people like knocking on them but i don't know what they're listening for i mean omg right and then like the omg appears like barry could you make that happen we're vlogging does it does that sound like katy perry when you hit it when you knock on melon that's how you nuts guys oh before you before you subscribe oh god like it's a given before you click hit subscribe go to your loved ones and kiss them because you you need to value the people that are closest to you oh god you really do you ever ever like those like those kind of people and then they like tell like a really sappy story yep you know they're like oh my god like if you cry every time even though you just heard this for the first time you're just like if you assume you'll cry if you hear this in the future [Music] if you like that song like comment and subscribe it's available on itunes 129 129. what about 99 cents but apple takes over like 60 percent i just wanted to make that back next time girls more amazing songs like this one [Music] yoko oh no welcome back to dark nut palace [Music] i'm your host dark nuts yeah dark knight palace sounds like a gay nightclub bomb up just bomb up why are you killing the darkness sorry i forgot i had to do that mom up die that's where the mop is if you're mad at me for not bombing please like comment and subscribe like comment subscribe favorite add to your twitter and instagram pinterest do you have a pinterest in me hey aaron do you want to be the first uh two males to ever use pinterest [Laughter] yes and every time someone says like oh check out my pinterest it's always a girl of course i don't know why it's the instagram for girls when instagram was already sixty percent girls [Laughter] so it's like totally true whoa wow it's like if they made a barbie doll for girls oh that's right you phoned me dare to dream it's like barbie now for girls like wait finally [Music] i've been waiting for the whole life for bobby dolls for girls i'm so tired of this ruining my mental image of myself as a man barbie's for men barbie it's just barbie there's got to be some way to [ __ ] it gotta hit him right in the poople next time i go to the optometrist i'm going to be like doctor how are my pooples get right all up in my pooples and tell me what i need to be doing if you want to dilate my pooples feel free yes i'm just gonna blotch on my poopers [Laughter] [Music] i listen my my iris is fine but my pooples are acting up my i've been having trouble with my e-lines don't get me started on my coins [Laughter] oh god that sounds terrible corneria isn't that what my sister has is that it's not what it looks like it sounds like how do i hurt this guy he's a little too happy to be hey you get it yeah it's funny how like that the old man is like synonymous with wisdom in this game and yet he's just this weird guy that yells the same thing at you every time you enter like you come back to him after he just tells you spectacle rock yeah and he's just like okay i know you're wise and all but jeez just assume i'm intelligent too like you don't have to [ __ ] we don't have to dance this dance every time [Music] he's just on his last limb and somebody like held a gun to him and was like if you don't [ __ ] i swear to say spectacle rock if you don't find it he's like i've given out that information so many times he's got a bomb strapped to him yeah like an earpiece yeah he says it's like why are you crying i'm sorry i'm so weary where are we here and we established that we could not do anything can you not bomb off from here oh from here i don't know if i tried here maybe you should [ __ ] face i open i prefer [ __ ] face [Laughter] like different [ __ ] in the old country yes no i use the red one um you need to [ __ ] get seven rupees however are you to do that this economy this non-existent economy that's run by cave dwellers yes yeah what well it's like it's not like you can haggle with them yeah it's like ring 250 and it's like i don't even where do you even 250 yeah boy it's really expensive yes i agree next time on game reps more [ __ ] happens okay i wish i was chinese so i could play joke and put peepee in this dungeon's coke i'm glad that that's where it went but i kind of also wish that you just stopped it i wish i was chinese i wish i was chinese and then just left everyone including myself inquisitive yeah like yes go on no no no that's it i've made my statement yeah i stand by it oh the mode of like spaghettios with no spaghettis oh that's so nasty it's just like tinted red water i want to just do that to somebody like buy like a shitload of spaghettios and just strain them and then just like hand them a bowl and be like it's my mom's tomato soup and they're like all right and they just drink slash eat it gross you gotta you gotta wiggle out dude oh damn it oh that's sucked up by that like like i did all right we'll take care of that in between boards that's a [ __ ] stab in the back too that they call it like like yeah i do not like or like that i don't like that at all and i especially don't like it don't even get me started on liking it you can count me out of that like business if you like like comment wait [ __ ] it up if you like like likes like subscribe thank you that's what i was trying to get at if you like like like like comment subscribe if you like like like like like comment subscribe if you like like like likes maybe you like should like comment and subscribe like i'm trying to come up with like the most likes you can do so it's like like if you will bees when did this become a thing that could happen sort of a [ __ ] that was that was the most genuine perfect reaction to that oh it's just like whoa bees wait wait there's no bees in this game bomb down whoa get caught my explosion yeah you [ __ ] [Laughter] he was like yes master i i obey more bees not the bees no damn it oh they're everywhere blue bees yellow bees they're all the same to me i just don't like them they're not the bee's knees quite ironically those bees aren't the bee's knees oh my god look at this dungeon yeah [ __ ] season crow hey welcome back to peepee and coke yes welcome to happy urine time let's change the show's name to that peepee and coke grumps are you're in time you're in time okay like you're in time [Laughter] for a good time oh boy i love it where do we live the urination no don't don't put pee pee in the top or the bottom coat okay you want to peek me in the lip i hope i hope that grows to become like an all-purpose term for putting anything in anything guys can we not pee pee the coke on this one what if you had a chinese spread you like drink your coke and you're like ew oh gross and your chinese friend's like yeah yeah i play joke i'm sorry were you not aware that i was chinese where the hell am i going [Laughter] oh [ __ ] god damn [Music] [Laughter] i feel so torn doctor i fear i may have a very serious improvement on my on my poople [Laughter] this man has the worst pupil and brooklyn i've ever seen the doctor's like i'm torn on that diagnosis nurse if you need me i'll be lying naked on the floor it's just how i feel oh [Music] yeah get him i mean arrow oh oh oh get him in the air give him the air oh kathleen turner dude maybe zelda maybe i could put this fire out with more fire oh wow it actually works you're the same colors you're looking all good thank you for going on a quest with us love you bye i'm serious about that peepee thing and the code all right so we got kathleen turner search on google and then you go ahead and you click this one and it's like that one oh god oh oh oh oh i shocked myself did you did you shock the f oh you did you did the [ __ ] thing what happened okay you got to reset it again really what what does that mean i was so the editor of table foot please reset okay sorry here we go it's beautiful the legend is out okay ow my hand burns it's beautiful all right first of all i gotta open with you just you just confirmed something right um our editor for table flip will he was saying that like as a kid he would play mario and then he found out that if if like his friend shocked him while he was playing mario the graphics got all crazy that's insane and apparently that's true you saying my body just was an electrical conduit that destroyed all a [ __ ] hyrule sick so this game zelda 2 adventure of link very overlooked game um er not i don't know is this considered a classic yeah i'd say so yeah not like borderline classic there are a lot of people that would be like oh yeah i forgot that one yeah like you for instance adventures of lincoln i don't care that's true well that was just a joke right never played it so i played this a ton as a kid it's we'll talk about it a lot because uh it's got some qualities that you really like about games some qualities that you really don't like it's got a lot of similarities with castlevania too i think um let's just get it going because i love it here we go so i as you can see i've been playing this a little bit on my own but we're gonna we're gonna start a new guy this is definitely uh the adventure of uh scrum trump you know it you know it sweet man you've got you've got some scrumps to make your name scrump thank you for noticing so there's princess zelda she's asleep she's dead at the end [Laughter] let me see where the hell am i supposed to go god damn it dude just got blobbed you just got double grab dude red and blue blob that's [ __ ] up oh my god whoa that's a magic potion your ears are like just as tall as your head is thank you for noticing oh you mean link uh yeah mine too actually i'll show you what to go to a side view again there's a fairy boom like obviously the perspective is supposed to be like it's like a profile but if you look at where his ear meets his head it kind of just looks like he has like two eyes looking right at you oh yeah that's awesome and he's just got a sideways face that is true [Music] look at this hot little number oh hello [Music] how about you identical woman hello okay and this is an old man too many food is that a man i thought it was a woman oh yeah it could be a woman turn the crystal to the palace in parappa the rap yeah if all those fails use fire like i did with all of my furniture so these towns why can't i put out this fire please let me help you come inside and then you follow her into her house and your life goes like it's fully restored i can restore your life yeah why is that the only like and that's how i learned for that that's how i learned about [ __ ] that's that is clearly prostitution hello doofy sir hey hello this is just hanging out here this is my dungeon do you like the brickwork use this magic the rapper use the magic shield and press x chop sweet someone will help me get magic back right hello terrific thank you everybody thank you thank you incredibly helpful everyone's [ __ ] hello hello hello hello hello oh god it's like the stepford wives yes let the legend of scrumpf begin let's let's jump in and find out what happens next on game grumps okay all right uh quick change of plans what i'm not going to go in this temple just yet sorry sorry sorry i forgot that she was like oh my god man wow okay i thought he was a hero that's cool no there's um i forgot there's a little there's a little thing that'll help me here what the [ __ ] oh this is just a air bubbles air bubbles will kill you so this is mario the zelda yeah yeah i guess that is a little bit but this is just like a random thing that you have to cross it's just like part of the world oh that's nice yeah but in here is a little thing that will help me this heart continues [Applause] okay cool now i can go to the temple i mean oh what the [ __ ] dude yep what the [ __ ] knife weasels they're i believe they're kangaroos or mice kangaroos i don't know i just assumed because they're hoppy they're very hoppy like like every could be happy if i chose does that make me a kangaroo yes as a matter of fact well aren't you mr [ __ ] i don't have mr wizard aren't you mr [ __ ] beekman i guess this is your world of beacon's world i guess aren't you just lester the the mouse from beacon's world you absolutely nailed it no whoa watch out for dick skeleton what what is that i'm working to stab you with my wiener as i fall on you hold on i'm a little i'm a little turned around already i'm to need to [ __ ] look at the map i got oh my god damn sorry sorry everybody oh my god what would what do you think reading is fundamental or something it is fundamental oh oh oh sorry i just embarrassed myself in front of millions of people okay billions of people trillions of people can you imagine like what year would it be if we had a trillion people on planet earth yay what year yeah it would be like 20 i don't think 21 38 i don't think we're gonna get there dude what really yeah i mean like oh you don't think they'll fit there's only so many resources that's true that the world can accommodate but what if we would have to be on jupiter by that point oh god on jupiter or whatever that's a horrible place yeah whatever that's like the least likely place we would go geez sorry man i just jupiter all right we'll go to neptune god [ __ ] i mean like let's go to beetlejuice oh is that a moon or a star it's a star oh god oh okay okay what the [ __ ] he is a mace tosser but he'll have like a little break in his [ __ ] wall of maces they're really uh jesus out of the mario book didn't they oh yeah he's like a hammer brother yeah do you think miyamoto was like oh but it doesn't really matter that's the boss yeah oh level's over no after you beat him i was like all right so where's the real boss yeah if you try to attack them head-on they'll block everything all right yeah dude i know dude i'm learning [ __ ] crazy strats bro are you sure you didn't subscribe to nintendo power i got in the game available today sign up now for only 15 for six months aaron did have this game in box with all the original stuff oh yeah i did and like one of the flyer inserts and it was uh introducing nintendo power there was like a kid taking a [ __ ] on a kid that was falling down a cliff that's not what was happening that's exactly what was happening he's taking a dump on the kid that's being helped up off the cliff i'm not sure about that that's exactly what's happening they just put pants on it because it wasn't uh appropriate for adults yeah you're probably right you're probably right whoa god damn it mace man true or false boy he takes a lot of hits three is greater than five whoa base man [Laughter] that is a good name for annoying people whoa specifically mace man uh obviously three isn't greater than five no mace man i'm in trouble here i hope somebody gets that reference oh oh wait dude it's mario 3 you made it you made it to the better game this is this is something i like about this game there's the boss you can just be like [Music] [Laughter] no this is not when i want to be attacking him just yet [ __ ] i might just die just to get that beeping to stop what are you doing the [ __ ] dragon's there like to surprise you when you come around the corner hey guy oh i did come from here didn't i i'm like a uni dragon oh okay we're gonna have to put seizure warnings at the beginning of this buddy jesus christ okay sorry that's gonna happen every time i die so i didn't want to fight the horse yeah the music is great huh well there's a great remix of this in super smash brothers uh the good old uh hover elevator yeah i love it uh okay it's powered by um anti-gravitational photons it is a lot of people by professor ochanomizu in the year 20xdx jesus christ what the [ __ ] what is your problem god damn dude ah [ __ ] oh my god [ __ ] that guy wow my brothers told me i was too slow so i think maybe i'll go faster my brother won't be slow anymore he was definitely like the athlete of the family oh this scared the [ __ ] out of me when i was a kid like that [Music] that's like catching up on you too whoa whoa okay got it okay sorry his little shimmy feet oh yeah i love him [Music] oh oh no oh it's like he has like 20 arms they just i'll get you from below now it's coming off let's do it oh [ __ ] yeah hey hey oh hey hi welcome back yeah you ready to see me whip some [ __ ] hot horse ass doesn't it look like it's his arm that's holding a sword up in front of him oh like what's actually his hand is like an elbow joint yeah or something like that oh wow i never thought about it yeah that's what i always saw it as it always made sense to me somehow looking at it oh but now i'm all [ __ ] up thank you aaron god damn it like i don't care if it's backwards like i don't have enough to worry about without [ __ ] trying to [ __ ] look i see a hand out of an arm do i like it or do i not like it i don't know oh yeah it makes a lot of good decisions obviously but i'm not sure if i like it totally understandable it's a playing bullet witch it's hard to believe why they didn't bring back uh weird horse head guy okay first crystal got it does sacrilegious refer to religion or just something sacred i oh that's a good question yeah no i don't know i know the forbidden donut that homer ate was sacrilicious one of my favorite [ __ ] simpsons lines ever sacrilegious would be like if you were religious about your sack right which i am i am sacrilegious yeah i worship it every day and i pay tribute again through brutal masturbation i free the prisoners within at least twice a day yeah i i have a very serious disease and unless you blow me evil toxins will not be released from my testicles and then i could die at any moment i could die at any moment from any one of many things that have nothing to do with my balls oh god these bats are [ __ ] annoying oh cool cool those guys were in the first zelda yep uh whoa dang look at those [ __ ] skills you got right there dude i've been playing this for a little bit now okay what is that it's a trophy that's it i got it yup i'm gonna need this in the next town i feel like that would just be an inconvenience at at best what do you mean whoa just carrying around this giant [ __ ] awkward shaped trophy with wings on it oh yeah you're already trying to juggle like the sword of shield and sacred shards of an important crystal then you just have to carry this [ __ ] like it's like fragile and weird places like the wings are made of porcelain so like any [ __ ] slight tap will make the tip snap off damn it again and then it falls in the tall grass and you're like ah [ __ ] [Laughter] link has to deliver like six sacred contact lenses he keeps dropping him in the forest like [ __ ] and then he puts his head in his pocket to get him out and realizes there's like a leak in like the juice just is all inside of his pocket he's like ah god daddy opens it up it's just dry as a bone inside he's like [ __ ] yeah i realize it's halfway through that they're glass contacts and like one of them shattered and he's like ah god be great if you got a bag that helped you carry more trophies oh damn yeah like you act like this trophy is sacred it's important then you knock it against the side of the mountain and it's like gold-plated and it like chips off like oh it's actually just like like [ __ ] weird gross rusty bronze on the inside yeah it's like a oops well [Laughter] i'm sure i'm sure there's a reason maybe his name is error i think i think that's what it is but maybe it's a joke you destroyed my trophy [Laughter] oh my beard trophy yeah thank you we're about to see i'm about to show you some things that you won't like about this game oh yeah not this sweet stop that's actually helpful can't tell what i'm looking at here oh she's kind of she's like a squinty eye or is it like an open mouth that's going like she's just looking up at the ceiling waiting for [ __ ] pretty sure it's a squinty eye like the goop from the ceiling that's dripped down in her gross mouth hmm don't leave the town old damn it [Laughter] all right i'm just gonna see what's out here in these boys hi welcome back welcome back sorry about the beeping i got my ass beat while we were off screen hello fairy hey girl i will give you life and you like chomp her head off and she's like i like the uh the ideas where like she she blows you back to life with her tiny mouth with her tiny mouth oh whoa whoa vena nats what the what they're vena nats is their name really jumping up like [ __ ] is their game because i mean it like obviously [ __ ] don't like this watch out for [ __ ] flicky spear over here yeah bagu is my name having stupid names is my game whoa oh oh they ever remade this game that's what it [ __ ] whoa they're like [ __ ] link's head like spinning god damn all right i'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] it i'm out of here [ __ ] that that's a nightmare oh oh good good good good boomerang party i am much too busy to talk to a stranger all right well [ __ ] you too purple hey talk to me all right sir everyone's very very busy i'm much too busy wearing my purple shirt whoa whoa jesus oh that's why you're too busy because you're [ __ ] brat [ __ ] eyes again and they're everywhere hello young fellow you just like walk around i'm a batch there's like eyeballs all over the ground and you're like ugh i was trying to step over them i found a mirror under the table oh god yeah see like come on and believe me i am a full supporter of this game i love it but like that in maduro swamp find a handy glove it's not perfect harness all gloves handy [Music] oh that's a good thing point hello wow jeez whoa whoa whoa that's a very friendly greeting for a [ __ ] double bastard exactly oh you found my mirror follow me yay follow me for your rewards yeah walk inside you're like oh all right you start taking up your shirt and she just stabs you in the stomach yeah you're like i'm a bat hello use this magic to restore your life restore your life so that's super helpful obviously because now i can re like restore him health that he just shits on the wall and like drops his glasses things he's talking about he's like the monkey snatch monkeys he just starts climbing on the walls i'm a little girl you have lost your mind i will restore your life restore your life also interesting that they have like cross graves isn't it like that is very unlike nintendo like yeah now i feel like that would be an issue to like have any kind of like nod towards anything religious you obviously haven't played dante's inferno i guess not that game is all about the clitoris [Music] this might take a couple times actually cool now you are so well good there are six palaces hidden in hyrule link must gain experience by fighting ganon's underground whoa and get information while visiting towns here and there and after defeating the guardians of the palaces of death valley he must obtain the triforce of courage damn that is link's mission and he's dead scrumpf link travels again to the land of hyrule man they're really drooling in your head that his name's link yeah well i guess they were trying to create another mario there's a [ __ ] what there's like a little picture of him at the beginning of the manual and he's like when i have no more lives left that's the end for me yeah well join the club buddy all right next time i'm a gamer oh man okay are you gonna say oh jesus christ okay yeah i'll just fight an alligator with an axe that's what will happen that's simon god he's horrible i hate him an alligator soldier that attacks with an axe you got it buddy is that right yeah well i'll be damned oh good unnecessary fighting hello welcome back welcome back to dan's life in second grade my name is aaron and dan is the one playing the game yeah i if i've been quiet during this playthrough it's only because this is taking one million percent of my concentration one million president says what got into you in the last 10 seconds this program is brought to you by bounty clean up the spills that no other uh paper towel can clean wait check something out what is this this sound when i um when i use this jump uh magic is it not exactly the same sound that um from mike tyson's punch out when um great tiger the indian guy would go into his lake oh yeah totally yes daniel that is the same sound you are correct i will give you 20 points i have no interest in fighting this guy whatsoever that's the 20-point counter going off it only adds up in in increments of 20. otherwise we use pen and paper 20 in the bank you get 15 points write that down another five points oh you [ __ ] erased that 15 points now we have the 20 on the screen this game has enemy placement set to be annoying in certain spots like it's very well thought i hate this guy it's i love how they freak out when they [ __ ] say hey holy day you could see his stripes but you know he's clean you can see his axe but you know he's like hey life juice is the best in life three four damn it damn it five milk products too cool lots of milk lots of milk milk cow today it's mostly pus you know ew they pasteurize that [ __ ] okay here we go would be gross if it weren't oh i got hit by a bit dude you're [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] master well this like this part oh you [ __ ] you son of a [ __ ] all right oh this is gonna be more careful bro running after axes [ __ ] demons turning into crap that's killing me god damn damn dude the beeping is back and it's angry me okay dude you gotta be [ __ ] you can't play so aloof yeah i j i just i'm trying to like like how he does follow through with his ex yeah he does dang boy this is really tough i see how i deal with this situation yeah [Laughter] oh yeah well he's gone hammer got it okay now even if i die it's like okay it's just like a stick and a piece of cheese it's it listen i worked very hard for that aaron look at this little guy bye i'm going to do it today i'm going to show the world what i'm made of yeah oh god damn these things i like that enemies like this is the only enemy that like whoa he like jumps right towards you when like you get on his level bro you know what i mean like he'll walk away but as soon as you're like oh okay bad examples oh old school nintendo you make me so [Laughter] happy like oh he's talking about me huh yeah yeah you like this yeah i don't even have to [ __ ] apply to the laws of physics okay so this thing hammer god i use my mind hammer [Music] i kind of want to just bring it back to you humming that oh dude let's just say the episode's been going for 15 seconds all right sorry we're back it just it just looks like he's doing tricks with his spear yeah he's like oh hey you like it y'all like it you can do my little flippy ah flippy wrist trick you kill my red friend cool it also looks like they're wearing letterman jackets now i am dead oh yeah it does doesn't it does oh no no no no no no no why why on the bridge yeah sing for a second because i gotta make this is sure where i want to get caught damn it whoa whoa whoa [ __ ] dude jesus yeah bad things happen in graveyard the [ __ ] out for a sec christ yeah imagine that her hair or whatever okay is actually like her face and it's like a long snouted like creature looking backwards it's like what's over there i like to rest my trunk on my own butt i also like to get a good whiff yeah i'm one of those guys but i'm proud of it let out a gigantic fart awesome dude juice but you aren't going to die cause you are very strong you are link the good guy of this game yeah okay i don't want to get caught here oh damn it jesus christ all right all right i guess everyone's just gonna party around here desire sensor where's the town [ __ ] there she is wait a second oh he's his name is error yeah his name is error cool maybe that was like a joke like we'll name him error because god knows our games [ __ ] up constantly whoa the kid's like i got nine pennies doesn't does this sand look like i'm walking on a giant like birthday cake pop-tart yeah yeah stop and get your dick sucked and i'll blow the magic back into you boom i can still blow a car yeah i guess they are supposed to be old women aren't they take that [ __ ] mouth baby the water of life oh that's what i got when i fell down that hole quick come with me all right cool now i'm just blasting through all this [ __ ] there you are wise man i'm so glad you found me this magic word will give you power today's magic word is fairy happy it's it's weird that they give him like these really distinct looking tusks because they're exactly the same shape as his boomerang they are tusks you know what i it's this is dumb i thought it was a mustache i thought it was like a fu man chewy mustache but you're right they're like up until this point yeah yeah they're absolutely tusks i thought he had like an old chinese man [Laughter] face boy oh boy i wish i could flash back to like knowing exactly the context of that realization right when you had it yeah it was just now because i was like yeah they are tusks yeah like my god it's like finding out something really weird like your aunt is gay and you're like my god she is like your whole life you've been like why does she you've had things like that with zelda like haven't you like uh or not zelda just nintendo games where you're like oh my god it is that like i did that recently yeah i can't remember what it was though oh [ __ ] i don't remember it's okay no no i have to know i mean one was just the fact that your shield is not your sword and your sword is not your arm oh you got it i know what it was what was it i don't know if so it's the one you're thinking of temple two baby here we go in super mario world yeah the bats um i used to think that the red dot on their face was their eye but it's not it's like a goofy nose and they have two eyes above it oh no [ __ ] yeah that's not the one i was thinking of but that is interesting the ocean doesn't make ruins it makes new ones they're here how will i ever hit you now i can only throw in a very specific direction what if i bend my knees a little bit oh really really you son of a [ __ ] oh i'll use my platform oh that's nice now i'm more vulnerable please eat that okay green fairy man i got i got i got a key where my friends go whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa don't like it don't like it you don't like it oh my god i don't like it don't like it stop okay the hell were those they're like little [ __ ] audrey two plants from little shop of [ __ ] they're pretty cool whoa they've got the downward slash if this is [ __ ] adventure of baboogle yeah then people would be like oh man adventure boogle was a classic [ __ ] you totally [ __ ] you for saying that's a classic that was one of my favorite games going on adventures yeah you're not you're just not worthy you're not worthy of the boob not a boogle fan what's the adventures of google 3d remake gonna be made god got a new super mario brothers new zelda what about new boogalo [ __ ] [ __ ] oh you're friends with bagu sweet all you're friends with pago cool yeah i'll build a bridge for you here's 20 bucks yeah you know what to do i'll have the bob marley special extra crispy do you are so dumb i hate you you suck balls i i love you his arm animation it's so silly the the dark nut yeah yeah yeah just like the low one is even funnier because it's like down at his feet oh geez i brought her something i brought you a little shielded knife got him hooray for oh the handy glove handy glove of handing it it kind of looked like he had just had a giant hand like oh god why why is this oh come on now hey how's it going hey bill you want to stab this guy yeah stab this guy hey baby here i am i'm singing to you from my only place that i sit anymore welcome back to game grumps here here comes the the party i was saving that one okay actually let's pause one more time so i can know exactly where this bad guy is okay and i'll get right to him you're stupid [Music] um what am i supposed to do not fart yes that is the courteous thing to do well then i'd be full of gas and my tummy would hurt no no my tummy to hurt do you no fart away [Music] okay sorry about that whoa oh this is what the handy glove does get out of here oh god that [ __ ] dog statue i know he's pissed i'm [ __ ] done how about some more dots white dots coming at you like cleopatra [ __ ] this [ __ ] [Laughter] oh god why please help me suck balls oh god we're i think this is ow [Laughter] [Music] it was made even funnier by the fact that he's got a sideways face yeah he definitely does this is my version of dancing oh come on my parents never taught me i just watched tv you're so done man whoa whoa you didn't mean to but you said that on beat [Music] you're so done oh dark knuckle knuckle just mixing up all the things [Laughter] oh goomba troopa yeah i know dark knuckle you think i don't know the lincoln of of uh pasta hedgehog links to the pasta develop that scared yet how do you like my exploding eyes let's do this oh his other head's off [ __ ] okay all right just keep just keep hitting the head what is that oh i don't know i don't like him i don't like him got him that was actually pretty easy yes that was not hard come on aaron i farted into the pillow again i'm saving them i'm saving them i don't want you to experience the musk the musk that's not musk is too flattering a term an elon musk baby next time on game grumps welcome back to game grumps [Laughter] next time on game rooms here here comes the the party recognize that one that was at the beginning of the episode no i don't kevin uh [ __ ] give us a party favor baby party pho yeah what are we [ __ ] ray william johnson yeah check out this great big this great video of a baby blower whoa that was insane did you see that baby's reaction it was like i'm rich [Laughter] um give me a potion no oh damn it's a dude dude with diddly feet what's up i got diddly feet did some other wires doom knocker it was oh is that what he really is like doom knocker yeah that's what they call them i'm all blue he can really [ __ ] he can really uh i felt through a mace fell into a vat of uh cleansing supply and now i'm all blue hat yeah i fell into an airplane toilet sorry i almost fell out the airplane but i decided it was better to live and be poopy than so true stalfos is like i came from that same toilet wow it's crazy did you kill my friend no no i'm dead again the one time i ever got sent to the timeout room in my in my grade school was because of that what grades zero yeah i know right no eighth you get a timeout billy and he's like i'm i'm 17. yeah i don't know why believe me it was not a threatening thing um her name is anna and her last name is appropriate this is like worse than your mom time out what the heck oh fine what are you going to do next take away my game boy gosh oh goodness whatever i'll just play my nintendo that's in my room idiot oh yeah don't like it i go up and then i go down do you like blue balls i'ma shoot them i'll shoot them out of my nose or eyes i'm not here well that takes care of that at least you died with a big boner how do you how do you know that because it was visually there oh is that right in front of me okay the whole time i think i'm gonna go the other way first why because that [ __ ] was [ __ ] way hard and i'm pretty sure i skipped something anyway did you yeah the well because i just i've been playing this through in advance because like it's so easy to get we're gonna give away the magic of our of our production no i think people appreciate it right movie magic like i played sonic boom ahead of the time the whole time and guess what i didn't even expect all the things that happened because that's how random did you really no oh okay [ __ ] would i play that game twice jesus christ i don't know it's the stupidest idea ever okay so even if i did it wouldn't have made a difference because we like skipped half the game oh yeah we did didn't we yeah do you think we missed anything good yeah okay i do miss it though is that what they are they're dark knights they're dark nuts yeah they always look different in every game they do it's like oh you know when you see your your uncle you like don't see him for like six months and then you see him later and he's like completely different and you're like whoa that has never happened with my uncle like he turned into a goth dude you know you're a completely different uncle yeah one year the way he's different yeah it's like uncle steve are you got but you don't want us like be rude and just be like you're goth now you'd be like oh you're different you're you're oh you're a gothic i see that you're a guy and then he like doesn't say anything about it he's like yeah i mean you know i lost a few pounds and it's like how the [ __ ] am i gonna do this god damn it he knows what's up that's why he keeps backing away he's like i know you can't jump i can't jump right now there you go oh oh oh oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa i pissed him off i pissed him off jeez oh my god stop taking more oh god oh god stop stop they're so hard in confined quarters it seems your one weakness is my knife i will now throw millions of knife that's what it's like god damn huh he's like the smartest enemy in all of video games he really is [ __ ] very clever look son of a [ __ ] at least she died with a big boner all right next time on game grumps god damn it i'm gonna god damn it stop taking hits what are you it's like a final boss [Music] the worst part is that like because i played this so long yesterday with my like other character i've leveled up to the point where he's like no problem [Applause] nicely done oh thank you jesus lord jesus lord thanks jesus lord you're the lord of all jesus oh oh he's he's uh you want ice cream ice cream truck i gotta hurry the song's already getting dim [Music] a very good book and story and allegory for 18th century spain oh god the end all right no i don't want this you could take that [ __ ] to the bank oh come on what the [ __ ] uh i was hiding in the mouth well no sometimes they'll [ __ ] oh god oh god no no not when i need three points to level up i'm not risking dying from dark nut town oh there it [Music] try to give me is [ __ ] nonsense but he knows better he knows better yeah he knows it better better than that mama didn't raise no fools mama once told me no don't smell why does it always come back to smash mouth is great that that was never in debate i can just only take so much quality in a day sometimes i need to veg out and listen to lesser tunes lesser too like radiohead yeah yeah you know [ __ ] uh well it's the beatles yeah no posers smash mouth wannabes the beatles do you think do you i wonder if paul mccartney has like publicly said anything about smash mouth okay i always wonder about that [ __ ] right like because you know mr mccarty mr mccartney like our one chance to ever talk to him what do you think about smash mouth because nobody really talks you know like you don't hear [ __ ] johan sebastian bach talking about [ __ ] no no more the [ __ ] blue adele or some [ __ ] yeah no that's true i couldn't agree with you more i wonder what they would think of it i wonder if we brought brought back beyonce or kanye west to uh to like ancient whatever back in the day bach times you know the dark times right bethoven times you know when with that classical composer beat oven [Laughter] i wonder what they would think they'd be like oh this is beautiful and then they just change all their music i think you'd be burned for being a witch what is this called fort on the floor come on i [ __ ] oh balls if gannon shows him in the game he shows up for real [ __ ] it i'm just making a child for that guy he's vicious and that skeleton he's blue now yes him too mochi woke me up this morning mochi yeah [ __ ] was meowing like i'm like a [ __ ] driving like crazy like a crazy crazy crazy loud cat he's just like and i was like whoa and like you know he does it sometimes because he wants us to be up and it's like i don't want to be up mochi she was sleeping right now i just got off a flight i'm tired right and like don't need any of your [ __ ] [ __ ] stops me out after a while but then he me out again and i'm like okay something's wrong so i got up and i was like are you sick buddy and then he just like runs to his food dish because he wants me to pet his ass while he's eating [Laughter] like mochi what if you were sleeping and i just went up to you and i was like hey buddy hey buddy pat my ass yeah yeah pat my ass moche you couldn't do that to anybody you couldn't do that to your bestest friend i couldn't do that just i woke up susie and i was like susie susie susie susie susie stop coughing sorry for my cough cover your gross mouth with your gross hands oh good thing my [ __ ] reflexes are intact he's like why you hit me i'm just having a fun time yeah it it's a normal dark night you just have to take him off his horse first i paid a dollar for this whoops come on baby you're gonna rob me in my enjoyment when you son of a [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] ow bring it in bring it in baby bring it in this is the worst fair ever god yeah [Laughter] i want some [ __ ] adventure he's all like oh i must travel to the far mountains and then like when he gets inside he's like [ __ ] [ __ ] yes i'm a [ __ ] yeah yeah just like pulls his [ __ ] out and like butt like like [ __ ] propellers and he's like yes [ __ ] this doesn't it kind of look like he's throwing giant toenails at you yeah absolutely i used to think they were toenails in the original zelda really i think i actually made that comment in our series really yeah maybe uh maybe i just forgot about it but it stayed with me and i subconsciously ripped off your joke oh my god dude yeah you ripped off a joke from me it feels good doesn't it a little bit he just like breaks both his ankles from the fall adventure the game's still still going just like [Laughter] okay so the eyeball dicks are tough this is why this is why it's actually a tough place to level up to because you definitely okay so the alligator guys oh wow what i just imagine like a business like meeting yeah all right so the alligator guys uh these are the ones you really want to concentrate on folks yeah larry are you listening yeah um i'm not here for my health larry no so anyway the eyeball dicks [Laughter] i i i got this right the water of life i don't remember i'll just make sure all this all these towns look exactly the same they sure do um it it's easy if you if you play the game in a row but like when you take like a week off like we just did i cannot okay cool i i did go get out of my house he's like i'm very busy he's just alone examining this chicken leg really yeah munch munch what a chicken leg delicious i wonder if i could mix 11 herbs and spices to create a new recipe um okay this game is kfc cannon yeah it sure is safe all right [ __ ] what do you think i'm doing yeah thanks for that valuable exposition yeah what are you doing talking to me we're all dead with boots i could walk on the water cool thank you richard nixon he just like smashes his head on the door and he's like pretty princess pretty princess all right i don't need i don't need magic right now yes you could walk on water i can't i cannot help you thank you that was like kind of like a bait and switch she's like i can not help you you are not the father i am thirsty well you know what else you are a sparkling conversationalist next time on game groups oh wait wait wait wait you'll like this look a fountain want to get some water yes you have water come to my house that's all it takes ladies oh damn yeah hold on i'll just get this thing that she's gonna give me you're a charmer yeah what can i say that she's gonna have water it's gonna be an old man now yeah you know he's going to be a [ __ ] old man oh hey water huh [Laughter] don't mind the door that closed behind you shoot fire [ __ ] yeah so those tektites you can't kill them with normal oh i see yeah so then i do this and bam whoa now i can [ __ ] kill him that's why i needed water yeah you you could shoot fire you mean like this old man this chicken leg is cooked to perfection hello she's a pothead oh bro god damn it that is that the fastest you've ever made an amazing joke [Laughter] she's like yes actually i do smoke a lot of weed yeah you're like episodes start i've got a zinger time yeah is it really what the [ __ ] is a basilisk first of all basilisks are those like legendary lizards that if they looked at you you turned stone and also in zelda shoot fire a you're not a stone b not sure that's a lizard c uh legendary yeah oh they're pretty famous well i mean in this oh it's just like a little guy going with like a little spikey back well well oh i don't like these woods gotta watch out for the selected viewers like tell me when it's over okay they open their eyes they're like i thought you told me when it was over oh damn it balls oh there's a guy to run into hey these guys oh dude yeah i recognize those yeah they're sons of [ __ ] they they are in this game too i don't much enjoy them also dead cactuses cacti right well looks like you just made the son of a [ __ ] list too the fact is they're dead dan whoa yeah that is a lost child it's like an actual kid so i find him and i grab him i've got the child you're now an adult child this is what it's like to be a six foot two man how does it feel i'm scared i know it's scary you have to pay taxes and okay get married all right children such as yourself [Laughter] stop being invincible everything jesus that's just how i was born i can't help it it's called discrimination i'm the best at this i'm the best at lisk i'm going to deliver that child by the way but like what i'm doing just so you know like but you're not a woman pardon me you're not pregnant how do you plan on delivering that child just let me birth a kid aaron god you [ __ ] always have to [ __ ] on my dreams you're gonna [ __ ] on that baby when you give birth to it they don't tell you that oh yeah that is true isn't it i don't think you [ __ ] on the baby yeah i mean well if it's near i guess if you're upside down yeah i give birth upside down yeah i've done that like 12 times really do you have 12 kids no just 11. yeah don't be stupid i have 11 children wait hold on sorry go ahead why what i don't know i just felt like i needed to take a moment for myself oh god yay off to sea i go good thing i may be an octopus [Laughter] and this is the problem because like do you get an extra jump ability here no you just have to get up there i have to keep there's no way you're not high enough i did it yesterday when i was doing you don't get to add ups are you gonna use that [ __ ] next time on game rooms i guess i will is it time for next time yeah oh it's these go so fast i know because it's so much fun i have so much joy with them all right bye all right let the joy end let the joy end now what's up you saved that annoying kid thank you magic well frankfurter okay cool so now i've got reflect which is there's nothing really to show i'll show it later it's really specific what these guys do right like if you walked into a house and it was just like hey old man and he's like this magic will make your ladle twice as big you're a ladle i don't have a ladle dude yeah wow oh wow how about you fatty was it can't see me other than that ring dings are delicious camouflage are you gonna stab up at anything anytime soon because i'm getting [ __ ] bored of your antics well tag tights [ __ ] don't take damage unless i have the fire thing equipped they don't take damage damage goddammit [Laughter] from missouri wisconsin new york god damage god damn [ __ ] oh god damn oh [ __ ] trying to see if there's no oh no glass in a maze has a whole island made of nice [ __ ] we made it here we are go up top the flaming ball nope [Music] hold on let me pull out my map for this because this is yeah there i have no idea how you're going to figure out where to go at this point [Music] wait wait wait [Music] it's down [Music] they look like crazy bishops there they are oh my god they look creepy right but because i have reflect they look like um clan members yes they do with cross faces ah damn it i'm an all-powerful wizard the point back you got it good for you just kidding oh no suck lots of dick bags you really gotta do this [ __ ] in order whoa i forgot i still had jump i will throw them more [Music] oh oh [ __ ] final call oh [ __ ] got the boots oh [ __ ] pegasus boots check these out yo you gonna run so fast [ __ ] you gonna run super fast [ __ ] thank you oh boy he really gets pissed after that first time you hit him he's like yeah how about some swords sword swords swords can you reflect his swords back at him no that'd be wonderful hey don't go no dancing odd walk away all right [ __ ] [Music] welcome back damn okay that was full of style so i just have to uh all right nicely good yeah okay good you're supposed to go oh wow oh okay oh my that wasn't cool at all that was pure assault yeah oh okay jesus christ oh boy that was verrucka this game is you can't fight this either uh man that was [ __ ] really brutal and unexpected sometimes zelda throws you curveballs brah it does that she's like thing you said what if zelda just like woke up halfway through where you were gone she's like where's link she's like i can go for some milk she like goes in the kitchen and it's like sour because she's been asleep for like years ah [Laughter] and then she falls asleep again yeah i guess i'll just nap out until link gets back he comes back and he's like oh no i failed [Laughter] watch out for that head [ __ ] now he's [ __ ] dead nice do you think like when it comes back at them they're like oh no oh crap oh sweet a point bag a tasty point bag perfect thank you you've been very helpful huh just trying to be a head on the wall nice i'm just trying to be ahead of the water damn dude those are fun you're [ __ ] partying dude the killing killing the little blue blobs in this game is a blast once you're super tough it's a blast yeah it's like a fish i love this commercial wow it's a blast killing blue ore shredder do you kids want to kill some blue blobs yeah mom whatever mom little timmy just wanted to [Laughter] trust me dude there's a method to my mirroredness i don't think it's madness i think it's very well thought out i would say it's just simply a method just stop your nonsense that nonsense just stop your nonsense [Music] how many times do i have to repeat myself [Music] with this [ __ ] all this nonsense [ __ ] you damn i love that [ __ ] like up slash you're like oh the up slash is fantastic gotcha okay then oh [ __ ] get that [ __ ] [ __ ] oh yeah somebody to practice my shimmy zone at last [Music] practice my shimmies damn it shimmy my shimmies [ __ ] this bubble right in the butt damn it bubble butt nice god damn this'll take forever [ __ ] it let's just jump up cause i'm very busy i run a show with my buddy aaron he is also important didn't mean to minimize your [Laughter] contribution you're so [ __ ] kind no problem boy you really do like listen to the music a lot in this game and it gets into your [ __ ] soul too many styles drizzle actually you know what i believe i'm [ __ ] why because i think did i yeah um we stole your magic yeah hmm you can't go like get magic somewhere else i guess if i look around on statue heads nah [ __ ] it i'll just fight him okay okay okay all right okay we're fine we're fine everything's fine now you know what i'll just fight him no no oh i got the boots now so i can walk on water what the [ __ ] yeah baby holy [ __ ] and and a regular jesus and enemies can't get me here so oops but i can't go on the open ocean except in the exact place that they want me to yeah i know there's a lot of you can walk on water but not that water yep that water's different because it's different whoops whoops sea waters gross cause wow cause reasons fresh [ __ ] it never touch the stuff fish [ __ ] it oh damn you gotta take out those [ __ ] tech tights bro now just ignore them do you think do you think when tektites all hang out with each other they're like yo that's just tech time i knew you were gonna go there okay wow look this cat this cave is made of cheese go [ __ ] yourself aaron i'm sorry i'm let's try this again what do you think of this you think it's hot sorry i'm i'm only good sorry i've been here alone by myself with the fire for a long time i was thinking about that joke for a long time and i haven't had an audience to try it on yeah it didn't sounded better in my head frankly well now that i know that feedback i'll i suddenly forgot floating ghost skulls don't need to use doors i was like no it's fine it's locked like even if it wasn't like open it up yeah it's like i've got my skeleton cube sorry little ghost humor we've been alone in this cave for like a hundred years all we know is comedy oh sweet i have no [ __ ] idea where i am aaron uh go down that's a good place to go can you get him in the face should we next time on game rumps yeah i guess so um if i uh i just wanna um oh hey oh all right next time again you know what here let's let it run for another minute okay yeah just go ahead and erase that sorry just wasting space on my paper well just because like scratched out number i'm gonna looks good it looks real good everybody likes it i'm sure kevin will really appreciate that sorry kevin yes say something with your [ __ ] blue text like i'm so scared oh what are you gonna do erase the episode please don't yeah but yeah actually it's canon we need that the continuity will be horribly upset yeah if we were off by one episode like we just forgot to upload one there really would be a lot of like missed [ __ ] yeah totally oh actually oh dude yeah yeah i get an extra 800 bruh yeah i gotta i gotta figure that out all right i'll figure that out off camera how to level up nice nice so sick and boom jams whoa damn yeah now i've got to taste your attack oh [ __ ] i love tasty attack i know it's actually like tasty cake but misspelled hey hi hey ho hey hey dan's going to fight a boss he's got 18 xp and he's going to level up after this [ __ ] moment yeah it's pretty sweet that [ __ ] oh okay okay so this guy me hungry yeah he he is hungry you bring food he likes blue drapes this is probably the toughest one of the toughest bosses in the game drapes don't mess green wall make angry his mace does a [ __ ] ton of damage he's got kind of a homer simpson face [ __ ] tongue damage oh my god dude this game is before the simpsons how about that oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] [ __ ] just pawn in game of life mango is that his name no no that's from uh blazing saddles oh what is this guy's name jordan i mean he's dead now oh his name is guma boom mama named me kuma but i know like name but i keep it anyway cause me love mama no dude me miss mom we've done five out of the six castles now she went to alabama aaron i need you to focus here with new husband me say husband no good for mama why the heck didn't i what mama say we love him you know what you're saying with good or grammar oh i'm gonna die [Music] nice yeah holy crap wow i didn't i didn't think of that until after i'd hit the pause thing impressive just instinctively pause the game so that you can i was just like i have to do anything this stops death temporarily for a moment [Music] um where is the flute watch out sorcerers okay i'm safe for now here you know what let's pause it little elevator home okay okay get in the flute get in the flute watch out for the diamonds that fly at you they will hit you in your face it hurts it does not feel very good at all i can verify that [ __ ] myself [Laughter] check out this [ __ ] six car i got that [ __ ] back in nam damn it i tell girls i got it from an accident but it's from a blue diamond from a dog face a shark fight i got it falling downstairs [Laughter] i got it from my ex-wife oh sniplets wow that was easy my attack went up when i killed the dude yeah but you didn't even jump you just just shanked him in his face just spread a hot load of your sword his warm face ready to shoot a hot load of sword on you i love sword on you my favorite pasta gotcha oh damn that was oh no i don't have a key oh oh [ __ ] dude come on [ __ ] all right [ __ ] i guess we might as well [ __ ] pause it again are you serious i'm sorry dude you're you're a nightmare well it's it i'm sorry not being serious i know it's just i i tried really hard to like learn these dungeons beforehand but man it is just so hard dude i don't think anybody's gonna blame you for this [ __ ] cryptic ass [ __ ] it's really cryptic like come on oh dad obviously dan jump through the wall that looks like every other wall okay here comes the pause here comes the pause baby hey i found that key did you yeah there it is how do you know got it oh this is your other hint that the wall is false because you can see this key from that wall when you on the left when you come from that direction upstairs so you have to figure out that downstairs directly below the key is the false wall so that's their little hint to you but still my god that's super obscure well because that like i feel like that is the opposite effect i know you're like i guess i'll just get there eventually yeah yeah it's okay zelda you tried you tried buddy you tried and you failed [Laughter] f minus you ever even look at me again zelda don't [ __ ] look at me i was always i was always weirded out by the facts i was always weirded out by the fact that you couldn't get an f plus yeah it's like at least as an f plus yeah then i would like realize later in life what f meant yeah yeah it just bugged me that there was no e oh yeah it's like why does that have to go right from d to f because e is for excellent agreed enjoy my clam things oh [ __ ] dude oh my god i turned into a bottle of goo i care about you i can't make love to a beautiful woman when i'm a bottle no oh [ __ ] you're the [ __ ] that i need stop by for okay yes revived i'm going to yell that the next time i'm with a girl ah rabbi i am at full health she's like um cool i'm thirsty yeah and on my nipples they are erect now i'm a spider come down i come for you ow i'm dead now and i exploded wait these guys are getting a lot easier to deal with oh here come the fish look at the fish fish work that [ __ ] out to a science oh damn dude that was crazy good fish skills thank you bro yes i know bach would let me [ __ ] it [Music] no i hit it again but if life was actually like that you're just like at the bank or something and you're like life is like that all right i just need i just need to deposit this and they're like what dude how many times how many times do you talk to someone a day and you're just like oh wrap it up dude that's true yeah this is if anything it's an amazing metaphor for life wrap it up dude oh i wish i was the kind of guy who could have the balls to [ __ ] just do like all right all right just wrap it up i can't i never can i'll humor someone uh until the the sun goes down definitely [Music] there's a bunch of dead fish jumping out they are dead they are dead they are why are they jumping out of the wall to right now it makes no sense what if there's just somebody throwing them at you there's like a gross fish monster he's like just take my dead children yeah do it get him out of here that's that taking up all the space in my sea [Laughter] gosh sorry everyone i'm doing my best to do my best oh yeah you gotta do better you gotta do better oh okay okay um what the [ __ ] just happened i'm walking through a mountain ravine like with mountains on either side so the lizard people who run these mountains throw [ __ ] at me as i try to yeah this is like oh whoa we're the center of all conspiracy theories they've got some good [ __ ] range too obama there's one of us whoa whoa whoa whoa okay try you gotta get through three of those oh you can vote we caused 911. really eric that's a crazy conspiracy theorist is that lizard people yeah the [ __ ] reptilians you never heard that what oh my god yeah that's like that's like as far to the crazy side of conspiracy theories you can get you can't be serious absolutely you've never looked up reptilian stuff uh dude if you look up reptilians you will be amazed i think i'll be infuriated how far our imaginations can go not our imagination things that cannot we can we cannot understand yeah pretty simple actually yeah didn't you know that reptilians um you didn't know obama was reptilian oh stop no it's true [ __ ] serious yeah dude he's a [ __ ] lizard person no there's a video clip of him blinking and uh it's clear he shows to the under skin of his reptilian eye yeah you can't be here oh god oh [ __ ] dude the president's retired reptiles look at me when i was a kid i got bit by a lizard and now the president [ __ ] dude that's the country i live in oh man i don't know where to [ __ ] oh man you're getting assaulted by these [ __ ] farting fireflies i sure am dude it's an extra life it's really helpful that that is i know how helpful it is but it just just get it out of me just get it out of me get out of it out of here if somebody if somebody ends up making a [ __ ] perler bead tiny little link i'm going to throw that [ __ ] away you just consigned yourself to getting like 50 man that's how that works in case you didn't know whoa whoa whoa with the flamey squirt oh god he opens his eye like once every eight years okay finally i've done it nope not anymore yeah i always get really overzealous with my creative projects i like i like learn how to do something new i'm like oh man dude if you glue two pieces of paper together it looks like a whatever and then and then like once i do that i'm like i'm going to recreate australia at full scale like those minecraft people oh my god stop with your impenetrable wall of armor stop stop he's like landed on the moon what is this thing made of jesus christ he's like the greatest sword he's like mad martign from willow government knew about watergate before it happened i really are a great swordsman [ __ ] these things i'm out of here let me do it look stonehenge it's true they are the source of all conspiracies let me do a couple more things 911 wasn't it stop i hate that [ __ ] so much i hate it too that's why it's hilarious [ __ ] reptilians dude nasa has never sent a man to the phone [Laughter] i cannot help you great thank you that's that's very helpful how about you you deserve my help oh sweet i cannot help you you deserve help i hate her cathy god there is a secret at edge of town all right geez razor i know that is the raisins lady yay there is a secret at the edge of town okay my dog's name's skippy all right i'll level up off screen but we'll get the uh secret at the edge of town where is my husband the old man who remains has magic would you like to say that sentence in a way that makes sense god damn it oh cool and empty house no big deal thank you for that hello hello do you wanna okay nope all right i could use your sexy help yeah damn dude thank you baby you have to know that this one chimney leads you to this unbelievably important spell it's really hot down here you can't finish the game without this this spell is called spell remember the magic word and you're like um and what is that man yeah goodbye it's crap my face that's not a word that's a phrase don't question the magic remember please please no please i'm too fat i can't keep up stay away stay away don't take my purple jumper i lapped you [ __ ] i lapped you yeah i'll take your stupid magic now that i have extra magic thank you all right let's just make you a fine soup oh that'd be nice yeah like your grandma in uh in wind waker there you go i'll make you soup didn't we make jokes about her dying yes very [ __ ] up you know that magic and life i have oh damn dude yeah things are oh well all right your life is full of magic a little less life now and life whoa [ __ ] you you burned them alive and you got power pack did i won the morning don't want you stop tactiles a lot of bags you could fit like a hundred bags in that bag no boy people want to see this garbage though people don't hey like comment and subscribe if you want to see this garbage if you don't then like comment and subscribe let's do a little let's do a little scientific uh experiment okay all right so statistically let's figure this out okay if you're a boy like comment and subscribe right if you're a girl subscribe and subscribe comment and like yeah uh then we can pull we can pool all the data and then we can see uh who truly is the guy or the girl or both nothing you just said made any sense whatsoever i'm a scientist i know when i say words they mean something you don't have to be a scientist to know that my dad was a scientist my dad was a scientist at nintendo so i think i know about all the new sonic the hedgehogs i know what i'm talking about vicariously through my dad how long did it take you before you farted in front of susie i don't know a couple days because i've had like multi-year relationships where i haven't in front of the girl oh dude um well i've known each other for like 11 years i know i i personally rather die than part in front of a girl i like well i mean and sometimes it feels like you're dying when you hold it in long enough oh dude yeah absolutely i mean that's the this i can't hold it and i gotta let it flow i'll let it flow yeah well i just remember the frozen song let it flow a that's not how it goes b it that would not have nearly been the international hit it was were that song about farts yeah i beg to differ yeah i think it would be even more relatable look at this awkward ass [ __ ] murdering i have to do [ __ ] you [ __ ] you uh stop stop stop with the throwing of the swords and such like oh oh [ __ ] there was a hidden i thought the game like [ __ ] up for a second i was like wait a second after okay do you remember what statue that oh good i was i was not counting like of all the things i was doing at that very moment that's the least not counting statues yeah i think i think it was the third one it's a good thing i have [ __ ] ocd where i'm like one statue two statues four statues five statues so many statues yeah god damn it well you were right all right okay so after the ah maybe you need to ferry over it i i don't have enough magic anymore well that's because you wasted it on jump because i'm turning into a salty sam over here your name's not sam it's dan but it didn't fit the alliteration yeah um no damn it [ __ ] oh i'm so angry why don't you start why don't you start counting tiles well yeah it's after the third one after the third tile yeah oh yeah three statues three tiles boy this is the best what the [ __ ] is kevin texting me for hold on i'm gonna check you got an imessage hey what's your password let me just say it on my [ __ ] show here you oh go so i just did an incredible what the [ __ ] why am i fighting a boss what's happening what's happening what's happening what's happening i'm freaking out i'm freaking out whoa oh it's this guy again oh okay check out my speed baby i'm checking it out but it's not impressing i'm gonna go straight this way baby got my ghost ride this whip oh yeah look at me i'm over on the other side when i'm on this side baby [ __ ] baby oh [ __ ] you just bought my ride oh you didn't like uh i feel like he was still half alive all right that's fine that's whatever the game's cutting you a break yeah it's like you know what you've been through a lot of [ __ ] no life jesus oh is that a tomahawk no it's a cross boy this must be a fun episode for people to watch oh dude this is like one of the most riveting i'm really doing my best we should call this the most riveting don't don't that'll he's too high well then give him a sandwich and let him mellow out for a little bit i think you are wrong he's fruitless you're wasting all of our time now have we met aaron have we played zelda two together yes geez you have forgotten so much well i i just i don't know i thought it was that one thought it was that one i have a bad memory don't you remember that i have a bad memory because i don't i forgot oh my god this is going to take forever space oh even dying takes forever it's like stabbing you with a spoon god dang it no come back the [ __ ] is boring as [ __ ] at least he bounces off of the side of the screen no stop let's show some scrum and [ __ ] accomplish one more thing before this episode ends you [ __ ] did it thank you i want to [ __ ] you oh your butt please open up now aaron what i want [Laughter] please [ __ ] me okay stop with the [ __ ] boss stop if i want to shoot blue fireball they will dad oh whatever okay what's up my [ __ ] dude i will not unless you ask me again now just one time it doesn't matter how nice you ask me that dick is gonna get sucked tonight please stop making me super hard now [Laughter] you can't blame me you know what [ __ ] it i'm lost i'm gonna look at a walk through and figure out where the hell we have to go are you back down on the bottom no this place all looks exactly the same that's that's ridiculous i know no we're we're at two completely different levels what the [ __ ] are even these platforms for i know this game like these palaces get very confusing in later rounds this [ __ ] is just the bitchiest of the [ __ ] so [ __ ] those [ __ ] tits do you know who the boss of this stage is i do is it a horse no what made you think that because there was a horse right remember it was like a horse boss in the first stage i do remember that yeah but that was like five stages ago yeah but i don't know maybe maybe it was like a call back i don't know maybe maybe maybe the horses like to hang out and there was just like uh like a herd of clydesdales and they were like hey you know what this is part of this whole game maybe maybe that was like like a horse kid and now you're gonna fight horse dad what who's like been through many wars why would all right you're probably right many horse wars yeah the only horses the great horse wars yeah i mean we don't know about jaguar wars there's probably many of them yeah there are probably a lot of horse wars like more hay and like say nada [Laughter] they're not feeling stable okay okay okay we will be here all week folks thank you be sure to tip your waitress maybe some guy um maybe some guy lost his apple and then and then another horse called him an appaloosa what the [ __ ] aaron i'm gonna need you to lower your game so i can get on your level you're such a loser cause you're too good for me it feels like i haven't been paying attention to this at all sure does like it's only at this point where i'm like oh oh okay i get where you are yeah i see what's happening oh this is zelda yeah okay well because you i don't know because all the dungeons look the same the dungeons yeah except this one's a slightly more red hue yeah that that is wait what really am i fighting something wow there are a lot of bosses in there is this the oh that's a guy again come on what's up [ __ ] i'm back baby meanwhile the horse is like i wish this guy would get off me i gotta fight in the great horse horse there's people out there who don't want hay and it's up to me gross creepy lit oh thank you thank you guys come on check it out girls creepy like oh that's nice sweet oh you're gonna hold him up through that entire uh thing great that's so stupid i'm not ready for this to be over i know i know you're happy you don't want it you get to [ __ ] zone out oh oh whoa right oh he's pretty rad isn't he damn [Laughter] so there's only one guy in this entire town this guy i wonder why he's so high hid away why am i here i can give you most powerful magic i can't give you more powerful magic all right thunder that that [ __ ] [ __ ] up it's good one sweet but first i have to not die here i think you might have that uh well um no oh oh my god damn it a horrible fairy dust yeah you know what it actually doesn't matter go all the way back to [ __ ] sleepy zelda dude i i mean yeah what if she just napping wouldn't that be the [ __ ] you just you just give her a little nudge and she's like okay did we make this joke in shadow of the colossus uh or if she just ripped a horrible sleeping fart and you're just like maybe i shouldn't save her i'd be like damn girl damn you farted what did you eat [Laughter] she just had like really bad thai food so she's been in like a food coma dude if i had a tail [ __ ] would be covered in poopies okay god damn it crispy coconuts wait which were the samoas they were the ones that were like coconut right i can't remember i'm pretty sure they were like the coconut ones with like the chocolate drizzled on top i'm trying so hard to concentrate on this right now and you are oh god you know how when you walk into a mall stop flocking oh you know when you walk into a mall yes and there's like the dudes that are like hey do you need soft hands and they like try to shove something at you like the you know the [ __ ] equivalent of pop-up windows yes the human equivalent of pop-up windows totally what they are i thought the only time that's ever okay is when it's girl scout cookies oh yeah first of all it's like a six-year-old girl and she's like would you like hip-hop and i'm like oh she's learning business yeah there was a little kid um selling uh i don't know for his like basketball team or something like selling twizzlers uh in front of amoeba records and so like he was giving me the whole spiel and i was like kid you don't need to do the hard sell i [ __ ] love twizzlers and so like he he takes uh i give him a five dollar bill and he gives me the change but like doesn't hand me the twizzlers so i'm like in this super awkward spot of like uh the [ __ ] twizzlers did he give you the twizzlers yeah yeah he laughed he was a sweet kid but i was like um and the twizzlers please yeah because then it makes you seem like yeah it just makes me seem like i didn't i gotta have the twizzler yeah it just makes me seem like i didn't want to actually help his like [ __ ] team you know because those are mostly donations yeah please yes uh the [ __ ] delicious licorice please no whoa see we should like that when they have like [ __ ] candy bars or whatever it's like i don't give a [ __ ] i could go to the [ __ ] grocery store that you're standing literally in front of yeah that's true and by cheaper better chocolate bars than what you're selling this was in front of a record store though so that's true yeah things like a little goddamn stop with all these oh my god this game i mean this ending is [ __ ] relentless but with with girl scout cookies it's like you can't get those they just they especially the thin mints oh the thin mints oh jesus i like i don't even know if girl scouts still exist but if they ever stop i hope they keep doing those sweet thin men [ __ ] yeah dude they need to make an organizat if girl scouts do stop they need to make an organization just to keep selling the cookie yeah not really an organization just just a cookie manufacturer really who even knows what the girl scouts do other than sell cookies i know nothing they probably earn badges but beyond the cookie selling badge i i don't know or care uh maybe like the the stocking of the cookies and then maybe they make yeah i guess this is happening how will we break up does it just do it for you yeah if you have all the crystals yeah like this is the one castle that you can't even enter if you don't have them all oh jesus christ all right we're just gonna let him do his thing i haven't seen that much vitality since i took taekwondo oh god oh god oh no i'm coming to get you baby jesus that was [ __ ] very stressful i don't care how many weird blocks and jumps there are i'm coming for you oh god it's a king bubble it's a king bubble that's all that's here god damn it god damn it all right let's take everything about the hardest enemy in the game and make him 10 to 20 times harder let's try this again running out of jumps good good good can't get enough of that wonderful stuff okay try it i don't even know if i have enough i don't think i have enough life or magic does it take one peg to do the jump oh just enough third time's the charm [ __ ] you oh god god damn it this glowy knife goes a little bit faster than you yes it does so it'll always catch up it sure does in a pinch sorry about the beeping everyone but boy i can tell you i would have loved to have made it stop oh no god no this is the [ __ ] unreal dude it's very brutal this is so relentless yeah yeah that's it all right all right that's you know what that's fine it's for the best is it it's like they specifically engineered like based on the movements of this game they were like all right what's the hardest enemy yeah [ __ ] possibly i cannot [ __ ] hurt him jesus the last boss is just one of these oh might as well be no no no god damn it please please be red please be a potion [ __ ] he was red yeah he was he sure was answered your prayers oh [ __ ] balls oh you got to redo it okay here we are my choice quest continues sometimes you wanna go to a dungeon that'll kick your ass kicking my ass where harpies throw some flames and gas shade and some sass where chompy things will jump up in the air [Applause] these guys are i will never stop yeah i will always throw things at you never stopping is he still there oh yeah oh god oh yeah oh yes he most certainly is would you break your [ __ ] block god damn it i'm dying now jesus christ dude i [ __ ] oh my god i can't break that that is insane put your [ __ ] shield down god damn this guy you got him yeah right where i want him how do you hit him is there any spell you can do like a fire spell or something like a [ __ ] you spell like uh oh oh yeah oh it's going great it's one of 20. well then get that [ __ ] potion i can't be cause i used all my [ __ ] not dying from the [ __ ] [ __ ] sucking blue thing these bots are very suicidal yay i'm so happy to be a boy i wonder how long it'll take for link to realize that this entire time good thing that [ __ ] i just had like a reflex action what the hell man oh man did i just [ __ ] predict the ending of this game that was pretty good yeah that was the final boss did you like it [Laughter] all right oh god oh god of course no boy i have a lot of life yep you sure do that has been stolen from you oh good the final boss are you serious yeah what no i can't you can just fight him right now it's it's two bosses there's two final final bosses and what are you gonna do i'm gonna try i'm gonna try this little situation again i uh have a feeling it might not work out [Music] i'm back it's like a horrible 90s sequel oh he's the [ __ ] worst just walk out watch out for those [ __ ] they'll [ __ ] you right up they're [ __ ] die yeah whoa holy crap dude that's way easier than the way i did it the first time oh my god over there yeah just let me cruise over he's like you're worthy also there's nothing to prevent you from kicking my ass and just taking it so there you go why is he such a tiny man i don't know he's just like a super old guy wake up zelda hey baby hey come on up wake up like a dog yeah hey zelda zelda here's author come on wake up what why are you [ __ ] talking to me like that i hope everybody's dog who's like listening is like yeah this is you saved hyrule and you are a real hero like yeah and you're a real hero like he needed [ __ ] confirmation kiss him kiss him baby no get close get close yeah oh my god yeah but yeah you bet it's the end oh this sleepy [ __ ] [Laughter] i literally just woke you up hey yeah well i think this is the image we're going to leave everyone with yep okay hope you guys enjoyed this i had a [ __ ] great time me too uh rock on zelda let's let's keep playing zelda games okay i'd like at some point we'll give them a little break but uh yeah i'm sad too but i love our lovelies and that's what's important yay we did it proud of myself what's happening yeah oh my god oh god it's a link to the goddamn past please just blow your mizzon it it may depending on how [ __ ] if that first of all if mizzen means mind that i was going to say more like a misendry yeah like it's like misogyny but against men i thought you remember sandra the red queen from [ __ ] that's i can't [ __ ] keep it long ago baby in the beautiful kingdom of hyrule surrounded by mountains and forests legends told of an omnipotent and omniscient golden power his name was omni yeah and he loved movies golden shower [Laughter] so as you can see we've been playing this a little bit can you tell which one is me and which one is aaron wait hold on let's let's address the elephant in the room oh oh yeah okay so you played this with john yeah okay but we didn't finish it and you were really stoked to play it and i was like why not yeah so we're gonna play it again yeah i am cause that was like three years ago yeah and this was probably my favorite super nintendo game for many years smith farts smeef and danny and bill hey uh yeah this was this is a massive game it's oh well you know what let's just let some plot happen help me please help me all right i am prisoner in the dungeon of the castle give it a princess voice for god's sake again all right quit [ __ ] mailing it in eight seconds into the first episode my name is zelda my name is seal i am in the dungeon of the castle check out all my [ __ ] rupees and bombs and arrows got a million of them if you put a one in front of that first zero oh no wait that's 10 million oh my god you got your numbers right thank you you're welcome you got to go left you got to go down really no god aaron i know there's a hidden path to the garden inside and i'm going to hump this rock oh yeah i can't pick that up yet you don't have the power glove i don't zelda what is she yeah i made a whole cartoon about this what is she i love that like the thing that you hold like you triumphantly hold up he's like he just dies he's like zelda is your ah you're like whoa yeah baby swipe and swipe and swiping bam all right man you can already swish and swash no no let's not gloss over this fact okay what is zelda i don't know i think i think he meant to say like your girlfriend destiny lover thing yeah i my in my idea is that it's your zelda is your responsibility or something like five dollars yeah i i would guess like something like responsibility or destiny that would be that'd be the way i would look at it the original japanese dialogue states save princess zelda you are the princesses as if link's uncle was about to say something along the lines of you are the princess's only hope cause if he says sister it's gonna be a star wars type of thing and i'm gonna be real pissed off when i make out with her later there's no experience points dude i know i'm just trying to yeah i'm trying to get money i don't need money trying to kill for money would you just relax and let me kill for money go get money all right you get money when you open up chest and things get money get [ __ ] that's true if you're a rapper and you live the rapper lifestyle let's see what happens oh i love that simultaneous like so i played the ever loving crap out of this as a kid and it was it came out in 92 so i was like oh yeah got that map brother i guess i was like 12 when this came out yeah which was the same age i discovered rush so like i have these awesome memories of just hanging out by myself and like [ __ ] listening to rush and playing this game and just being like my life is good yeah dude this definitely has like a euphoric feel when you play it this game this is a fantastic game you just it's like a world and you're part of it and then you go and you just do things and then that's the game yeah and i've been playing it to like refresh my memory yeah um and it made you come a couple times a couple times sure do you like this route i'm taking this you should go left and you're like oh whatever i was like man i shouldn't tell him where to go yeah i mean like this whole thing is meant for you to like explore and see [ __ ] but um this game has aged incredibly well it's super fun what are you talking about it looks so pixelated yo yo barry holy [ __ ] look at you i told you right when we started the episodes we would get our food yeah thank you barry oh that looks good i know oh gross do this like the ice cubes all the bad oh it's like a [ __ ] filled condom oh you know you know what oh all right next time i'll get groups oh it's not next time on game bros time yet it is give it a give it a give it a second give it a go give it a minute i'm gonna open this thai st and sip it be careful oh my god treasure five dollars hey girl thank you steve i had a feeling you were getting close i'm getting closer why did she have a treasure chest why didn't she open it herself yeah zelda you had five dollars right next to the entire time i just could've just bought your way out yeah you could have been like hey i got five bucks with this treasure that you left in here how does that sound [Music] it's not you didn't save the world yet you don't get that kiss till you save the world also put down that pot it's not romantic at all oh it doesn't look like him oh that's what i'm talking about welcome back shh don't go zelda stay here with me just like gently whispering under here upstairs is [ __ ] ganon it's always with the ganon listen to this conch you can avoid them if you just go upstairs i like killing aaron i i have i have but you have a beautiful princess following yeah and i want to impress her by murdering hey zelda does my puffy top do anything for you she's like i don't know i don't really like forest pumpkins i'm like damn it forest pumpkin yeah that's what he is yeah he's definitely a [ __ ] he's definitely a heck he's a bumpkin i love that they're like oh as soon as we learn to climb stairs where did they go you are in for it mister where the heck did they go what the heck oh your your turn oh that ornamental shell should open uh zell was a character in final fantasy 8. do i know who or what he was all about no okay i never [ __ ] played that game because nobody has just [ __ ] that game okay jesus and then the all the people who love it are going to be like i like it and then that'll be the end of that it'll be like every like whoops internet comment section like you read the article and then it's like i hate this article in the next comments like i hate you and then we all move on with our lives every single time every single time i hate that thing the article talks about yeah but the article misses the point yeah well you're missing the point because your article is actually as concise as that can you believe someone got paid to write this drivel you're a [ __ ] dude i never hear people call each other morons in real life only on like internet like message boards i just love the like you're an idiot who says that all right i just love the like the passive aggressiveness you know like maybe you should go back to school and figure some of this stuff out obviously or you know like they'll look at their username and it'll be like doctor whatever and they're like clearly you don't have a phd because you can't see that and it's like oh god come on man yeah i [ __ ] i mean really who cares you would never you wouldn't get an elevator and then somebody would be like man those nicks really didn't play well do you talk about sports a lot and then you look at them how about those knicks right you're not like well obviously the the lapel on your shirt needs to go back to the store because you don't know how the knicks played clearly brett favre didn't that that's football that's okay clearly johnny rockefeller didn't didn't go to the goal in time that's why my favorite [ __ ] part of anchorman is like bricks [ __ ] talking where it's like where'd you get your clothes the toilet store yes it was a little more intensity [Music] before that happens before it's too late destroy the wizard before he destroys all of hyrule you can do it you can i sense that my god link is getting information cocktails left and right yeah he's like what is zelda what do i have to do what can i do wait wait something's coming in over the brain wire i don't have princess out of the hair do not worry seek the elder do you understand no repeat it all say it again with the exact same words like you're like you're an actor like you're brad pitt my favorite movie actor look at that flower just edm dancing [Music] now i'll take 20 rupees i hope you'll be healthy yeah oh man maybe this is where i first realized fortune telling was [ __ ] i mean he was right yeah he's totally right it just wasn't helpful yeah that's for sure all right fine let's hurt a [ __ ] chicken kill the chicken you can kill it kill it i can't kill the chicken you can kill this oh god no oh god oh jesus oh really this happens oh it's the chicken apocalypse [ __ ] i had no idea really i've never hurt the chicken before oh my god aaron you sick [ __ ] next time i gave you i came from wow that was terrifying i can't believe you never knew that holy [ __ ] are you sure i shouldn't sit down for a delicious bowl of frog for a delicious bowl of um trivial pursuit yeah so you can get all these in one go if you're smart enough don't put me on the spot yeah you can do it okay i'm gonna guess like this yeah you [ __ ] it up really yeah all the already yep oh you're right i did [ __ ] it up well i mean you just get it yeah i'll do that [Music] [Laughter] [Music] dude like my brain was like don't do it and i did the exact thing my brain was like begging me not to do now you got to [ __ ] respawn these bricks again like a tool yeah you like the guy the guy's like why do you keep coming up and going down the stairs i'm like no reason totally not because i'm stealing your treasure that's for sure not because the magic reset gnomes are resetting all the blocks you have 192 dollars now you could buy half of hyrule temple i know according to zelda monopoly oh schmief the rumors say you're kidnapped the princess but i still trust you you just sank her and take your wallet [Music] do you trust me do you trust me grandma [Music] not my prized begonias i'm helping you garden i can't go out cause i'm sick that's not the first thing i would say to someone weirdly standing over me while i sleep in a mid-run oh my god how did you know that because i've been playing this for the past week genius in preparation for this exact place you're a [ __ ] research genius you look up all this stuff all the time you're like bill nye the science guy but jewish [Music] thank you that's the only difference someone someone tried to pay me a compliment i i'm sure she meant well but she was like dan you're such a bright guy not in the traditional way but in like a worldly way and i'm like what the [ __ ] do you mean not in the traditional way it's like you're dumb as [ __ ] but you've seen a lot of stuff well then i am the greatest archer this side of the ah i am indeed to hazard that'd be amazing next time someone comes up to me i'll just be like that's right i'm danny as a test can you retrieve the pendant of courage from the east palace as a test can you receive the predative courage here it's under my pants wow excuse me i can't jump i don't have feet i'm gonna hop so mad what the heck wait yeah like what are these yeah cause i always thought of them as like lions with whiskers and that's what they must be but if you look at it as if those are hands they're just like i am like three inches tall build me a statue in my heart don't mind my deviated septum i'll sleep in the other room oh one thing i've learned about this game is whoops i was just about to say generally not good to go for the middle path first like you want to take care of the other stuff first and then there's just a [ __ ] black void but if you fall down there you go somewhere i think do you i don't know i'm pretty sure that when it's a black void you don't like if you can see the floor that's when you can fall no really it's both no you screwed up goddammit you are the worst you can fall in this one though in this dungeon i believe okay oh wow these don't even move huh okay well these don't even move hot and they're like they're like what did you say huh let's let's show them boys it is indeed i plant get to the chopper [Laughter] my name [Laughter] [Music] arnold arnold please save us from the bad guy you have the giant gun please [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] he never [ __ ] does that i know it's great it's just the [ __ ] will sasso version hey welcome thanks hello hey so in the in between grumps uh dan was um undermining my authority you're talking trash [Music] oh you're precious it's the only thing these people have dan what what our audience that's all they have yeah what what the [ __ ] i like to give our audience oh what if like it was just i thought you meant in their lives no i mean like a show so if you if you [ __ ] watch game grumps and suddenly we're in like the third level and it's like what the how the [ __ ] then it's like then what is what is this show but us talking stupidly over colorful lights you're right you're right can't lie baby bye bye bye ain't no lie bye bye bye oh [ __ ] the ball you can shoot arrows until you run out yeah i thought it was gonna like i thought it was gonna be like you could shoot arrows until the cows come home you can shoot arrows until you run out of the burger king that you're shooting the arrows and get out of there what are you doing see your heads they open their eye that they do aaron and then you can attack them when they open their eyes i've been doing that for like an episode already if you hit them with a pot they die in one hit is that right yeah hold on we put this to the test you [ __ ] you lied to your pie you lied to me i did not lie to you you did it wrong if you shoot them yeah they die i know go on the right one first thing no i want to want to make the room brightest [ __ ] so bright it's so welcoming now don't i want to make this house a home i want to make this know the left the right one oh [ __ ] you when you're left and right yeah it's true it's it's apparently because i'm left-handed like left-handed people have more difficulty really so what should i say instead uh no keep doing it there's there's nothing we can do about that because i'm like i'm trying to oh i'll just use the word right just say that one one look at all this money the one without the key hole yeah the one that you're closest to yeah yeah i'll do that all right i'll never use left and right with you again cool so when you're driving i'll just give you like convoluted instructions yeah just point goat uh tree tree turn tree turn point [Laughter] and then when we miss it you're like um i told you [Music] make it harder on him tangled messes go daddy said no more ketchup on my peanut butter what nothing just making conversation yeah i definitely did not get that from life experience or anything they're all gonna laugh at you he's sad this is a treasure passed down by the families of the wise men i want you to have it gross boots yeah oh sweet it gives you the pegasus devastating dash attack it should just say now you don't have to [ __ ] wait forever when you have to go somewhere far so fifth one maybe it's only in the dark just see link like in the distance bashing his head into every tray it's him oh these bushes dog bushes oh geez his normal walking speed is faster than my alerted running speed let's do it [Music] cool hey welcome back dan went the wrong way website was going the wrong way went the wrong way thank you aaron thank you for trying to warn you but you were rambling off about some garbage some stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] hate it when you do that hate it when you you you know i hate it when you dan all over my show yeah excuse me oh oh jeez no jason pay no attention to the average middle-aged man standing by this sign leave him alone i leave him alone do you mean place an explosive near him like he didn't actually do it no i don't i've never heard an old man i don't want to hurt him oh you need the [ __ ] oh i didn't get the book of oh and you were going the right way too no i was going the right way for the book and then you [ __ ] ridiculed me i made fun of you wow i'm sorry sorry everybody everyone's like wow two minutes and 53 seconds for this pay me 20 rupees and i'll let you open one chest oh just one why not both i'll do it there's a heart piece in one of these right there's a lot of rupees in one of them okay so you just got your money back there there's like a 100 or a 50 or something is that all it is is it just a rupee game it's just a gambling game oh okay i only do that this [ __ ] is only worth it if there's a hard piece involved hey girl you got 50. and i made 30 so [ __ ] you he's like whatever man you can make plenty of money geez yeah [ __ ] you know how many people come in here and want to [ __ ] change their life let's change their life yeah what's up tall yes me yes me now i'm quarreling with my younger brother uh what like it's a weird way to phrase it yeah this is like the middle of a long conversation yeah yes me if now i'm quarreling with my younger brother can you believe it after all i've told you i sealed the door to his room okay psycho [ __ ] load up if you want yeah you might be able to dash into it there you go that's right i [ __ ] think you're [ __ ] what's up older brother it's like oh thank god i'm starving is he still angry yeah i'll find out i'll reject hey you still angry so the door all right maybe i should make up with my brother oh that's nice he said he's gonna make up with you is he still angry i don't know i'll check [Laughter] man this quest is hard this game's difficult to go jesus okay oh [ __ ] okay okay 15 seconds no not that way no that is the one trick i remember oh damn it no this is the right way dash dash dash no you wasted it you could have dashed oh you did it yes this try i present you with a piece of heart and i'm like who are you people okay ah hey man the carpet matches the drapes on that guy that glances wait no you came up here for the book you got it for the book where is that where's the library for making all this money in heart situation it's right here there we go okay cool hey sweet book up there bam goes the library the ghost librarian shows up like what the [ __ ] the book of madur is an ancient uh hylian languages i wish that's how it phrased it in the game this is the book of madura it has the ancient language hyaline i guess all right i'll use the book to open the way to go forward make your wish here and it will be granted to open your [ __ ] i wish aaron was dead i wish i could it's like i only speak highly you can't you can't pray in english i wish for some hot puns i wish for gannon to be destroyed and for all of the stuff in this game to be done or i guess there's one door to open that's cool too all right next time i gave you i'd like to imagine you're really choking the [ __ ] like thing to death nice nice dungeon bro yeah thanks nice eye lasers thanks boy that's a huge leap in technology towards the rest of this world yeah the [ __ ] like whoa what really what you've never seen the eye lasers no i did i'm just talking about like in terms of like [ __ ] the most technologically advanced thing was like a weather vein up until this point like a hologram and like a robot man comes out of nowhere yeah boom i am 1264 dash e i'm here to serve what would you like me to do master uh too late i've become self-aware all right roll up this ho ho for me sweet i'll do that but only because i want to not because you told me to only because ho hoes are delicious i was programmed to eat that seems pretty wasteful you gave him the crank oh no master shredder i will always send you oh my god looks like my camera is okay next time on game drop okay all right we're back okay this time that's right it's true it's the way to go bro throw in pots at the centipede hey thank you go back one screen really i want to show you something that bothers me okay why is that i have some dirt why is that wall dirty oh you mean over here why is that dirty there's not there's nothing there's a little dirty wall over here what's that what's the point because it's a dirty ass [ __ ] desert cave i don't know it's well some of this is clean and some of it's dirty it just looks like a thing you could do i think it's not clean it's just god like if that wasn't there you'd be like look at this [ __ ] boring ass texture because you got me all bamboozled with your with your wall grievances i do have grievances here's a second why purple yeah well because this is the early 90s there was a lot of hyper color [ __ ] happening oh true that in the culture in general where is he i thought i saw him out of the corner of my eye my laser single eye bam [Music] what was that oh well i guess i'm down here now windy out remember that [ __ ] you used oh it's like charging up to shoot a laser at me you you must never fail to find all the treasures in each dungeon by the way there's a laser coming at you holy [ __ ] i can sense it all the way from over here whoop like you you call them and you just like talk to him at any time what if he's taking a dump or something yeah i'm taking a shower [ __ ] whoops it's just like so hostile please help he's like hold on call back later please he's puking from like a huge bender uh link can i have some privacy please oh you have to find the trail oh god golly jesus now i'm going right back no hesitate did that do anything for you damn dude that was some 360 no scope [ __ ] damn dude [ __ ] mlg pro emoji proof oh god i needed the dollar it was worth it i think if if we played zelda link to the past poorly people would be obsessed yeah i think so more so than anything else go for the last one yeah that's what i was planning on doing no i think i'm just going to go home yeah your goal is almost in sight do do do the goal do the finish finish the do the goal thing it's just like you just take the two pendants and you just go home and hang them on your wall and you're like yeah i remember my adventuring days well zelda's dead still a wanted fugitive only house in the forest next time on game grumps would you come with me and hold my tallywhacker while i pass water nothing would make me happy yay your trial in the desert has made you stronger god can i get a [ __ ] hello out of you please am in this cave indeed the blood of the hero must be in your veins oh god stop fish thief i guess that's why oh no oh oh no oh oh no stop oh thank god hey god that's so bright turn right here down yeah well that's what right is there i know but you say you have a problem with it so i'm just making i don't have that much of a problem like if i have like 10 seconds to think about it i'll be fine do you think whoa hold on a sec do you think legend of zelda is like like he's high all the time and like all the pots are just like pie i mean yeah and like this world is just like it's like exciting if you give up pot you'll get money because you won't be spending it on drizzle oh i know it's you like i talk to other people telepathically through triangle walls it looks like uh like a bird yeah like a bird from the top down with a magic brain jewel don't steal my magic brain jewel ah he shoots lasers out of it ah damn it i didn't know i could do that just wait it out baby such [ __ ] god so [ __ ] stupid it's not i love it see first it creates the eight that you see on the stones oh it's symbolism at its finest yeah and then it's like there's like an explosion of eight it's like you just want to release the beast murder the beast boy i love wasting arrows ah damn it oh [Music] no i wanted to it became a thing you know what this means what you know we have to do ocarina of time after this are you what oh yeah baby and then twilight princess yeah and then skyward sword let's do all the ones aaron let's do all the zeldas really i [ __ ] love zelda oh okay i'm wearing a zelda shirt right now ocarina's all right what it's not it's not linked to the past good but it's not right really i thought you [ __ ] hated it enough to spend months researching and executing a carefully deconstructed hatred argument it's not hate it's just kind of like why does everyone think it's so good it's not hate it's just hate for the people who like it no it's [Laughter] yeah pretty much oh you get to stay as a um as a man instead of a bunny rabbit would that be cool if you could play the whole game as the bunny rabbit i wouldn't mind i'd be happy yeah i could do it a little sword and shield just be like oh god i guess this is my life if you just like bang everybody you see like that's the games you find bunnies to fall yeah they get the get the game a link to the past is you becoming a rabbit and learning how to reconcile having sex with other rabbits a kink to the past if you fall off the side i'm gonna next time it game grumps you oh [ __ ] so oh next time on game rubs all right fine beat this boss wait no i can do it i can do it i'm right here i'm right right if you fall off again okay next time i did have trouble with this guy the first time because stay away from his dumb goofy [ __ ] eyeball head yes yeah but it is he just stopped for a second because he was like what was i doing oh yeah jiggling too goofy gotcha he's going faster oh geez he's really fast oh god oh my god sorry everybody two more hits on him so ugh i'll just let you kill him and we'll bring it back he feels so different too like he doesn't feel like oh now you're closed off and you're fighting the boss oh this is a big thing oh stop oh god you can't do anything next time on gangrene it's okay to be [ __ ] but [ __ ] [ __ ] get the [ __ ] hearts god damned [ __ ] got the goddamn hearts [ __ ] god damn it [ __ ] geez hey all right here we go again baby this is the one dan's gonna play some [ __ ] zelda whoa beating this squishy beast this squishy bouncy goopy beast that sounds like something oh you got it oh there's your heart piece it's a different please how do i get it up there you gotta go up here oh geez geez how do i get up there just kidding you don't get up there it's through the [ __ ] tree oh that's right that's the thing we haven't unlocked yet damn that was really nice and leave no i need that heart piece bruh more like fart piece oh my god good one thanks thanks man [ __ ] on point damn it yeah maybe there isn't a hard piece this is a huge triumph for 12 year old dan yeah while [ __ ] hemispheres by rush played in the background oh my god when our weary world was young the struggle of the ancients first began all right sorry thank y'all the dungeon [Music] it's like well well then [Music] definitely undergone the most like changes from game of game i like their sad whoa oh [ __ ] sorry what now goodbye oh there's i didn't get to say hi to my family there's sad wet dog faces when you hit him one time [Music] i love the way one of his eyes is down and one is up you can destroy that with the master sword yeah that was the thing like i remember like looking at this as a kid and i was like [ __ ] i'll never get in there oh like you never saw it until you had the master sword yeah just randomly how the heck could i ever jesus it's an impenetrable fourth oh even with the master sword you cannot flick physical harm on the wizard must find a way to return his own evil magic power to him i mean he says indeed i mean by [ __ ] hitting it with my sword i can't yeah i remember like even as a kid i was like all right i got it i mean like if we're going to be cryptic let's be cryptic about it the power that you wield in a sword-like shape if only you carried a blade like of mastery pulled from the stone of the ancients oh god that would be the [ __ ] sweetest you could totally defeat ganon jesus such a dream a dream whose name i dare not speak hit it with your master sword is is ganon's nightmare ah god damn it i've been waiting for you i was hoping i could make zelda vanish in front of your eyes behold the last moment of princess ilda that he like puts his hand underneath him yeah he's like see no strings whoa seizure warning [Laughter] a couple seconds ago that was a seizure warning yeah merry christmas your girlfriend's dead with this the seal of the seven wise men is at last broken delicious it is now only a matter of time before evil power covers this land after all the legendary hero with a capital h cannot defeat us the tribe of evil when we are armed with the power of gold now i must go where where huh huh where could he oh boy oh so you mean to say you would like to be totally destroyed oh you found my secret hideout did you oh my god well i can make your wish come true and then he just pulls another curtains over his face and he's like try to find me now good girl well-met like the true hero you are but i am not ready to admit defeat yet i will draw you into the dark world now you dick bag dick move oh yes here what the [ __ ] the maidens are locked in hidden dungeons don't worry when you rescue the maidens each one will tell you the same [ __ ] long ass story i promise you this is so [ __ ] embarrassing man so like right before the episode starts i look at the map and i'm like so i'm i'm going to the one right with the crystal aaron's like yeah as a matter of fact captain [ __ ] genius man all right let's let's do this no i think it was a little more like yeah [Music] yeah yeah there's another one around here isn't there like right off the bat dude i don't [ __ ] got it aaron did you know about this one [ __ ] yeah i knew about it i know about everything is there another one nearby i don't [ __ ] know why you're badgering me some kind of [ __ ] badgery barney i'm doing it i can't listen to this what yeah i can't listen oh damn it come on i think it's me jeez all right kiki uh do you know where the big key is i do give me your bank numbers i'm a nigerian prince give me your routing number electronic not not paper not to say that people from nigeria are like monkeys jesus christ i can see the [ __ ] racism patrol like god just looking to start [ __ ] that racism they are so ready they're so ready to like make any connection when you said that thing was black did you mean that it was bad because like no it just meant that it was the color black clearly it is it's the sky at night that's how it is oh geez when you said you had red skin and you were diseased are you saying that indian people have diseases no i was saying that i had a disease and also my skin was red because of it yeah are you making fun of asians because you say the skin is yellow and it's like no i have a crippling spout of jaundice thank you for bringing that up can you hear me no that's me zelda that's pretty i'm locked in turtle rock on the top of death mountain i know you're doing your best but please hurry i know you're doing your best link jesus what the [ __ ] was the point of that this is zelda still here jesus titty [ __ ] christ where are you please i mean nothing's changed just you know yeah keep going i guess as you were but faster towards saving me [ __ ] hey welcome back welcome back dan's going to bomb that floor and then fall into it yeah because this is a secret area are you sure [Music] how are you douchebag what it's just it brings you back to that door it's a secret it's a transport ten feet from where you are and it unburdens you of one of those heavy hearts when you [ __ ] blow it up it makes the [ __ ] this sound it sure does so why the [ __ ] would i think anything other than it would be great amazing question yeah i agree one to which i will never know the answer don't [ __ ] judge me [ __ ] judgey jason [ __ ] judge janice it's the girl version yes well he is it just looks like a little child in a suit and you're just kind of like what's going on dad i got my remote control car with a camera on it and dad's like stop it i'm stopping i don't want your mother to see this and he's like well i'm gonna show mom just to make you mad and he's like shut up and then they don't talk to each other for three days and then the wife is like why don't you talk to your son anymore and he's like because shut up and like his kid blackmails him into doing [ __ ] that he wants he needs like lunch money and he's like well give me ten dollars instead of five dollars and he's like fine and buys an ice cream cone and then he learns the value of a dollar what the [ __ ] are you talking about talking about talking about the little helmet guy oh obviously he's like no gross you've been crawling on the ground all day whatever the hamer i got the hammer oh delicious now i can drive wooden stockades into the ground let's [ __ ] do that [ __ ] i feel like i've understood like 30 percent of what you've said this episode at best oh right here's the one where it awkwardly goes like yeah he's like no no no no no no and then you're like i'll set you free yeah you gotta throw a bomb over there how was that did i do it yeah you did a great job all right i'll plant another one [Laughter] dang it i like to imagine there's just like a dude dragging it he's like in my calves yeah my hamstrings he sees like on his computer readout screen that like someone shot the statue with an arrow and he's like god damn it oh geez right let me get my wall pulling gloves here we go okay if you run into this tree you get stuff [Music] i hate your hands i mean like really a new friend follow me new friend okay we're gonna have such adventures together all right feed me water i'm thirsty it's been thousands of years since my last water last glass of water purified bread of water ah oh man i want to fart i mean truly nothing's stopping you especially me because god knows i've tried to stop you and you've let it rip anyways no but i want to be courteous that is incredibly nice of you chances however are slim well sometimes if i don't want to fart i just hold it in you know you can do that you have the power i can do that and it burns like the [ __ ] fires off all right i feel you bro i feel you nice ophelia if your name was ophelia and somebody was like ophelia bro yeah if my name was ophelia i would hope that my last name is up all right this room has a bunch of skeletons and it also has like a fire worm and you gotta watch out for the jelly guy because he's electric so every so often boy this is uh it's like having nintendo power right [Laughter] now i'm playing with power air and power there was a key under there oh my god all right next time i get gross dan will push a block yeah maybe i doubt it hey welcome back welcome back to game grumps i fell asleep between episodes and i forgot what we're doing here oh you're pushing the rocks oh we promised the audience on the next episode of game grumps that you would push rocks did i really yeah i don't remember that at all i was passing out you can't push [Music] and also you you totally owed me like like a hundred dollars no way yeah dick move on my part yeah man you still haven't paid it back about that about those hundred dollars yeah i'm gonna need an extension on that loan uh the thing is you promised it to me today and you said and you you told me that if you needed an extension that just beat the [ __ ] up yeah just to say no and and then raise it to 200 that's what you told me as a as a forgetfulness penalty yeah so just put it right in my in my b account i'll just go straight to checkscashed.com or some [ __ ] that sounds like a real thing yeah is it i dude before i uh dang it you gotta go up yeah see that now you gotta go that only way you haven't gone do i thank you go left go left there's like literally like a arrow on the screen this is like left i do walk throughs and like it's just a video of you like pointing and be like [Laughter] oh my god can we do that yeah absolutely oh my god that's such a good idea world's most unhelpful walkthrough it's like it's like a [ __ ] it's like a recording of the game and then you green screen yourself going like this with your finger wait wait wait wait wait wait wait no no no no no no no why hasn't that been done it probably has been no way [Laughter] but oh my god all right i'm doing that these always make it look like you're getting like crazy [ __ ] from these things when you're like oh hold on i don't know oh darren all right with your giant silver penis yeah what about it [Laughter] link's [ __ ] purple impish hair and his giant [ __ ] wrecked penis oh man yeah he would smash that [ __ ] ass yeah the correct term actually is macro penis and i'll thank you to refer to it as oh wait what are you trying to say is it going to kill me jeez all right as long as the person can survive it's evil power yeah as long as as long as you don't experience what's known as hand melt [Laughter] don't worry only 100 of the people who have touched the triforce have experienced i'm sure you're different yeah yeah i'm sure you will not experience sausage face that has happened with one million percent that always happens yeah in fact it happened twice for one guy i have not been paying attention to anything she's saying she's like blah blah i'm in a crystal blah blah yay it is so unnecessary to the plot blah blah what plot yeah what this plot look at all of it save prince do you understand you're like oh oh yeah yeah okay the way of the hero lead to the triforce yeah all right don't forget what i've told you fading away remember what i said or perish [Laughter] [Music] sounds like your problem [ __ ] you [Music] hey there ain't no quitting time in octopus gas station town [Laughter] whoa holy [ __ ] you found the [ __ ] compass that explodes floors wow thanks you found the compass now i can't walk around here at night when i have to go pee yeah hey welcome back welcome back we got it i'm an idiot you're not an idiot he's like in the room where the thing was where the door i'm really really i think that's it's that one okay no it's not aaron not this one is it just up here god damn it oh people who know this game very well are going to be like well you're certainly a jackass all right oh you're out of magic now yes i got a scotofer one quarter two prizes shaving continue i will shave and continue thanks aaron steve oh no all right pause it we'll get right back there you know you know what it's like i'm so sad to be the sad man i do nobody knew what it was like yeah dude holy [ __ ] suck it mothra oh my god oh my god my dick no it's falling off ah it's on the ground it's squiggling yeah i need to go to a hospital immediately i'm in terrible danger dick danger i'll never have my dick again every time you subscribe we get five million dollars each after taxes so thank you that's like an obnoxious number anytime you say after taxes you immediately become like twice as much of a douche as you were before five million dollars after taxes yeah holy [ __ ] that's probably like eight million dollars then oh yeah my god well why do you think we're always asking him to like comment and subscribe because it feeds us yeah or goddammit delicious daily caviar it kind of looks like it's like a nose yeah it looks like a like a deer face or something with a with one bucktooth [Music] watch out for those trucks uh that security deposit isn't coming back you just lost yourself 250 dollars my friend ooh but i do like the natural light oh yeah oh it's very roomy now yeah it feels so open i'm gonna have to oh there's definitely a key in here do you think so she looks like a whole lot of [ __ ] to me god this looks like the most unhelpful room i've ever been in oh she's not that she's oh she's a bad guy no she's not yeah she is she seems nice no she's a bad guy she seems friendly no you don't understand i think she's great no trust me aaron i finally met a girl in this game let me be as the wise men so [Music] yeah i understand i understand that you and your sisters are possibly the most boring people i've ever met you think when they get together for tea or like family gatherings they're just like do you remember when hyrule was attacked by islam who was once yes i know i know be fallen among us with many but the few f rose up oh my god it's like a nightmare aaron you're my friend and i love you so except for all the time when you're addicted addicted this guy's got to stop this guy's got to stop with his nonsense [Laughter] i mean i mean really really now [ __ ] tilting over to your friend that's with you this guy has gotta stop i was i was getting salty with it but like loud enough so that he hears it too this is a small happiness that i can give you thank you you can carry more life destroying destructive instruments of death and despair just think of all the the [ __ ] evil that you can do with these bombs your happiness increased by one step all i want to do is bestow upon you this little piece of happiness didn't get far enough blow up that [ __ ] wall blow the [ __ ] out of that wall hello again thanks for a hundred dollars here's more bombs for you wow that's a lot dumb ass just a small happiness 20 all right 20 should be good enough do you want this buckshot rifle just a little happiness that i can bestow it's used generally for killing children all right so you can also kill boar and deer i swear to god if this wall is like look out for the stealth yeah okay thank you he'll come from the ceiling because anything i did six years ago does not make me laugh except for this photograph look at this oh god we had one night recently we went to round one oh my god and on the drive home we [ __ ] lost our minds with laughter uh just watching these crazy [ __ ] videos and one of them was the the look at this graph version of look at this photograph by nickelback i don't know if everyone's seen that i'm hoping they have you know look at this photograph yeah but like they just cut it to us look at this graph but the graph of course does not go uh tonally with the rest of the thing so it's like look at this graph [Laughter] that was like way too on key it was like it's like look at this grab yeah it's hard to sing off key on purpose what is that on johnny's head isn't that a line from look at this photograph what is that on johnny's head jesus nickelback [Laughter] just look i can never catch them here comes the net they're like i gotta be in you i'm coming right for you man your cologne is nice what is that adventurer musk he's just describing the photograph but it's like a really modern photograph like i'm holding up the phone to mirror my biceps all really big oh that's what i needed and my baseball cap is backwards i'm throwing out a piece sign and there's a guy photobombing me damn it quit making me laugh dude sorry you got to stop looking at that photograph i know that's probably what the problem is the other thing that was making us laugh was the 20th century fox flute oh yeah oh god new recorder 20th century fox recorder version just just watch that and enjoy and bears bears bears bears bears bears it's pretty special what about that treasure chest i like behind i guess you can aaron would you [ __ ] please look at this photograph every time i can't i can't it makes me laugh i have to remain stoic and silent okay if i look at that photograph things might happen like i don't know i don't know how i can keep control of myself at something from me my emotions it might have some [ __ ] in it oh yeah i don't know whoa okay oh god oh god no oh god that's what have i done i'm so sorry thank you aaron i i didn't mean i'm sorry oh i [ __ ] up oh geez i didn't know i'm sorry okay here's all right you are on my list mister dude i don't it's that's why this temple is infuriating you're on my mister mister list you had the [ __ ] right do i need to go down here or straight it doesn't matter just go okay cheese god of all so many emotions to choose from and you chose salty i'm sorry no it's okay i needed a little bit of it because my turkey came [ __ ] now stay away from me fairy completely bland no don't no no no wait where am i going down right down no no no what does down mean aaron down means down the direction down i didn't say fall it's okay you're good well look i found a fairy party so now i'm just gonna orgy with these for a second okay and now i'm at here [ __ ] up or whatever well they're tiny people yes and i love them so gosh like like little people don't deserve to be in orgies oh maybe you're the [ __ ] oh [ __ ] i'm sorry god [ __ ] mother damn it jesus [ __ ] titty christ i can't get to where push the other one oh it doesn't need to be the one in the oh [ __ ] oh you know what you have to do you gotta go all the way around that's why this [ __ ] temple sucks so yeah you gotta go right and then like get back up and then come in from the left i am one salty sally right now yeah i hate that that should be called dead man's curve i cannot get around that this is a big ass sign yeah dead man's curve beware watch out don't get overzealous all don't [ __ ] cross over diagonal like an [ __ ] with no patience it's just a bag oh gosh what if a fly fell into his mouth or something and he was like i mean i eat flies naturally yeah how do you oh [ __ ] no i'm just kidding how do you remember this because it's [ __ ] skills yo there you go oh you know skills come on i have nothing like it for you are you ready to hear me give a variation on what you've already heard like six times it's here we go uh todd stole the triforce and he like ran off to another world yeah that's [ __ ] crazy right straight from the cockles of your hearts and right into the [ __ ] depths of your loins it's game grumps it is game grams the number one show on the internet for people who like game grumps that is true i was gonna i was about to say that's not true and then you saved it right at the end no don't no no really don't let it [Music] go to eight yeah why no oh god what's that yeah yeah um in the right place okay please really explode that [ __ ] like pussy-ass looking wall whoa easy now because i donated all that money to that sweet fairy oh jesus my cup run is [Laughter] by defeating enemies it's the secret of my success wow and what a success you've achieved my friend look at all this and here you are you literally live under a rock by yourself okay oh god i'm trapped your grandma's [ __ ] lonely and making you soup and dying that's not funny i know i know that's what i was saying was not funny and everything you can't go both ways hey jeez where'd i leave my thing you gotta go to this but you can't escape from there no what are you doing i don't want to go there no it's a whirlpool oh that's right it just takes you to another place oh aaron tell me the thing to do i don't know you gotta find a [ __ ] warp point oh my god you're such a [ __ ] [ __ ] but i don't dance i didn't design this game oh did you get the golden uh what's your who's it yet he's around here i think you should do that the golden watch the golden watch him who's it go um up really actually call the bird because it's probably oh my god aaron what no i'm serious giving me like seven different instructions oh [ __ ] yeah she's gonna give you the v shield oh god i love it when girls give me the v shield all right next time i get grumps look at that oh [ __ ] my ass okay next time on game grumps okay call your bird i'm gonna get you all three medallions in this episode oh my god really yeah all three of them here we go [Music] this bird's like [ __ ] you gotta be quicker than that [ __ ] does he just not come after three all right it's just like you know what [ __ ] you he like keeps like going up into the sky and circling around like oh go to five okay i am so [ __ ] done okay all right all right all right so done here we go boy it is really like a choose your own adventure like what would you like to [ __ ] go forward with yeah i want to do all the things i'll do it out i'll clear the pet for any adventurer and you like go up the screen and they're all back oh i did it oh poor link all he wanted to do was help his friends fine fine whatever um and then just keep going up up here yeah brother fantastic brother from our same mother if we were brothers from the same mother we would just be brothers yeah but i mean you could yeah yeah yeah whatever yeah about that yeah oh i just remembered something what shut up you totally caught me i was like what did you remember dan please share tell me the thing those look like his arms and he was just like was it you was it you you'll never tell a dude [Music] [Laughter] and then you can explain to me what the [ __ ] you just said what did you say thank you bong blanchey was that i'd attempted to make three pot references in a row [Laughter] i didn't come up with that that's it i saw that someone danky bonk blunt tree i'm pretty sure you didn't see that somewhere i did oh my god uh go left okay i've only recently heard the term dank [ __ ] oh man it really just i love it well my friend used to do that like he used to he was a stoner named dave and like he used to like high times magazine would have like this website um where you know it would be like half naked girls covered in weed and like they'd like ask you to comment and all the comments were like oh my gosh she's so hot and like look at those boobs and like all that kind of stuff and then he was like oh man that looks like some dank buds so stupid oh my face oh his face just disintegrates [ __ ] kind of thought it would just open like a mouth that's way more disturbing whoa really what is that jesus i don't think i've ever seen it whoa didn't like it creeped out what am i what am i gee what are we i'm a i'm a beautiful lion you [ __ ] it up you're stupid all right y'all didn't do it right just tell me what to fall down all right instead of being like i'm going to talk about some other [ __ ] and then wait and then when it's too there was a girl in my high school um who like for whatever reason the only responses she would have to anything are you're so funny and i'm so sorry and like just she would just go back and forth between all of them and she was just like you're so funny i'm so sorry and my friend had this like comic that he drew over where like he thought she was actually like just a human pez dispenser and like one day she was gonna overload and pez was just gonna come out of her neck like she was just gonna be like you're so funny i'm sorry you're so funny i'm so sorry and then just like oh sweet pez i'm glad you found that funny because before i told that story i was like is this funny at all so like each you're so funny i'm so sorry is like a piece of pez no she just like says it back and forth and her head's like lolling from side to side and then it overloads and then her neck opens up and pez comes out it's so funny to think about that now god that was a long time ago caught a big old case of the [ __ ] use a big old case of the [ __ ] you that's what i'm talking about i get that every time i order a sandwich at subway what do you mean just like if there's somebody but like everything about subways is like infuriating really yeah it's like the people in front of you take too long and like there's no drive through and like it's it's just all i don't know i'm over exaggerating obviously but subways like the land of inconveniences yeah it's i mean because it's like i have to be okay and they're like what do you want and i'm like uh sweet onion chicken teriyaki foot long on flat bread and then they're like what bread and flatbread and they're like oh okay and then they they [ __ ] take and they're like did you say foot long yes i said foot long yeah and like you want cheese you already have so many like bad experiences with the place that like it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy like the second you walk in they're like hi how can i help you and you're like oh with this [ __ ] it's like you want cheese it's like yeah can i get um swiss cheese and they're like what kind and it's like [ __ ] yeah you know the kind i just said ugh and they're like toasted and it's like of course tote you can't have the flat bread and not toast it it's it's like spongy gross starchy ass [ __ ] bread it's made to be toasted wow of course i want it toasted and then they [ __ ] toast it and then they start helping the people behind you and then it sits in the toaster for like 20 seconds longer than it's supposed to wow and you're like i just want lunch you are they [ __ ] take it out and it's like another person and then you have to [ __ ] get a read on their personality it's like god damn it and they're like what do you want and i'm like uh spinach and then they just [ __ ] destroy it with spinach just like an avalanche of spinach and you're like i want like five other things you can't just fill it up with spinach and think that's all it's gonna be wow wow and then you [ __ ] it and then you're like onion and they're like okay and they put like two onions on it and it's like more onion please [Laughter] and then when you like get some weird combination like [ __ ] could i get mayonnaise and also sweet onion sauce they finally they like throw up their eyeball eyebrows a little bit like whoa and you're like don't [ __ ] judge me all you would i i can make my own sandwich don't [ __ ] judge me wow next time on game room wow bro you just went [ __ ] off on subway all you had to say was their food is gross that's what i say [Music] i got that burning desire wait that's gonna really that in kevin hey i'm lost aaron we can beatbox all we want but it doesn't change back beat box of just [ __ ] you don't have the you were just here it was just here it was just here you're such a well for everyone else i was here 24 hours ago it's a confused lad okay do you think it's their feces uh i do i definitely do what do you think they eat in order to create the bombs as their feces probably subway [Laughter] subway eat um powder keg rubbery chicken and wicks rubbery chicken boy this is a long earthquake jeez i can't do anything while this is happening oh my god they told me to get into a bathtub so i've gotta everyone under your school desks get into the earthquake position wow nice work thanks pretty stoked about it yeah oh man you're so close i can [ __ ] taste it i can taste the sushi that's waiting for us outside shush don't let me i can't i can't think of the rewards that that await us the splendors i thought you were gonna try to shoot the arrow over the funny face yeah what do you is it not here no my god you see what happens when i start thinking about sushi i was like oh salmon roll i can't wait for you to be inside me oh man glad to be back in lady town he's turning the times there's times everywhere signs okay this is the sound they make you big jabba jabba jabba oh no he just bounces around like a silly eyeball oh he's so sweet he's like oh now it's time to show you my true form it's just him i'm just gonna yeah yeah oh the soft squishy sensitive eyeball that i am got you baby catching that crystal that's like when people yeah it's like when people in a gunfight run out of bullets and they're just like throw their gun what is wrong with you you probably need it later yeah also you you missed him with the bullets like he'll probably dodge the gun now princess zelda is waiting for you inside of turtle rock okay please hurry excuse me she just farts and she's like please let me out of this crystal it is very very ripe in here there's no ventilation how am i even breathing all right get your [ __ ] sweet ass out of here and go in that cave by staying here a little longer monster magic is making it rain in the swamp i'm going to [ __ ] kill you you mean the thing i just did so i could play that entire level swinging your sword is the a button no no no [Music] s [Music] know about turtle rock no i know he ain't got no face no mo yo you cast a spell on his back and he all like [ __ ] damn and his face melted away you know what i'm saying that's precisely what happened smith are you [ __ ] rad enough to handle this if not don't yeah just walk away okay so what else to do yeah i always thought this was really cool when i was a kid it's really it's still really cool dan all right starting now i always thought this was really cool bam and now you've made a platform it's like it's from grandma it says like love you in the memo yeah make sure to fill out the deposits don't make the clerk do it herself whatever nana stop hassling me oh [ __ ] what's it like to be stupid but it feels awesome oh boy i can relate on a certain level because every so often i feel stupid oh god will this thing jot oh stop god damn it it only keeps you a bunny for like a split second i know but what if they put little eyeball like what if there was a dude that put little googly eyes on those [ __ ] tunnels and every tunnel was just like coming to my mouth elephant adventurer next time on game grumps i will slap dan oh and remind him of his purpose that actually does sound like fun see you then yeah me too what were you thinking of slapping my my facial region or my my my butt cheeks not up to you and i don't want to get you excited for either that's another that's another word that the more you think about it the better it is butt cheeks you just like a hooker like a [ __ ] bass [Laughter] [ __ ] stucker with the end of that spear that was really funny [ __ ] hook shot [Laughter] boy that does not get old man you are you're rocking this [ __ ] like you just don't care throw your arms in the air next time on game greyer oh way to make it work we're gonna play uh some more gaya come on we're gonna back dog bringing the beat bringing the beat back it has been zero days since aaron beatboxed hey man people miss it now i love it you know what i heard you don't [ __ ] come over here and accept my sprinkles die you [ __ ] okay has only been said twice at a dairy queen [Music] [Laughter] i missed catching the fairy oh quit making me laugh um like children do what the [ __ ] was i saying oh yeah he's like stop police yeah they light up like what [ __ ] walk inside and you explode you just see like [ __ ] eyeballs whoa whoa jesus that crystal almost hit me at shatters and the girl's dead she's like catch me [Music] gannon is waiting outside of inside of his tower to pass through the gate linking the two worlds once ganon enters the light world it's unlikely that anyone can stop him just like when just like when aaron goes into dairy queen so it's time to [ __ ] upgrade this rad sword and the bomb guy who has [ __ ] taken up residence in my house like a [ __ ] big douche well whatever man you're not there yeah but listen i don't [ __ ] care if it's in my dimension of reality or not i paid the mortgage so [ __ ] that [ __ ] is mine i own the deeds do you think i'm mr deeds do you think dying bug net kid gives a [ __ ] about who took over his house he doesn't even care about where his bug neck goes and that's his prized possession of course he doesn't he is super dead by that you may have noticed that there is a uh a giant crack uh in your butt um [Laughter] thanks i will be uh i will be here this is my last episode thank you all for joining me on this journey now that i've reached the pinnacle of humor i think i'll be retiring from comedy bam now everyone dies with a hammer because i'm in a bad mood it's like a tiny cartoon mallet it's [ __ ] donkey kong time now stay blue [ __ ] yeah but you take less damage yeah but i take more fashion damage for not being attractive i take damage i play zelda for the chicks aaron everybody knows that i take damage in the form of sweet stairs see you later everybody your up and downs messed up too no aaron i'm not like i'm not like a disoriented child let's pause the episode and we'll find out where it is okay because goddammit we're being completionists here just like pro gerard just like pro gerard the finishes yep do it okay we're back geez [Laughter] i'm gonna start doing that for like all kinds of like inconsequential things like can you get me some two percent milk barry do it just like your [ __ ] mouth is all saliva-filled spitting spit everywhere oh goodness girl i wasn't gonna do it girl but now you maybe got the hook shot [Laughter] she's like ow ow my colon you got good aim on that three blue ones and an emergency fairy that's that's what i needed you bought them all at once and giving you a 10 discount or something right geez aaron don't [ __ ] criticize my thrifty shoppers thrifty shop for saving skills you're really good at saving thrifty shoppers they're like they're like no i wanted 10 off of this and you're like well sir you're in luck like jan yes yeah what about it yeah i'll comfort your weariness i'll also help with your loneliness if you know what i'm saying i'm saying i'm gonna [ __ ] you just crazy explicit out of nowhere aggressively i love the way your face looks betwixt my butt cheeks if only i could witness it if only we had a full-sized mirror on the ceiling oh i do wow dude look at that ah what a coincidence marvelous if only we also had a all right punching down those this googly [ __ ] don't hit me with a hit oh i can't believe you i was just bleeding out underneath the [ __ ] hole it seems like a lot of fun for you but to them it's like never again shall i love or live okay um call the whackable doctor oh yes yes doctor it was a whacking damn it was like what did i tell you about sticking your head out of tiny holes it's like i am who i am don't judge me and i won't judge your doctoriness you know that whack-a-moles never become doctors it's a taboo in the whack-a-mole world it's weird i know yeah strange but uh you know they gotta have some traditions cherry blossom [Laughter] we were dying did you ask for it no god knows we wanted to though oh god i would totally [ __ ] be like can i get the cherry blossoms yes notice also at the bottom there you can order johnny scallops not johnny scarabs no that would be ridiculous cherry cherry blossom oh my god at least it's not cherry bosom it's not you left it out all together cherry blossom oh good for you damn it somebody in the corner starts a stopwatch oh and he just looks at you with judging eyes and you're like i feel like i'm playing [ __ ] gauntlet all of a sudden i never explored i didn't explore much as a kid you know it wasn't very adventurous but uh you know what it's like i didn't get it out of my system when i was a kid so now i explore as an adult the [ __ ] are you talking about i'd like to go to different nations um you know different countries and just explore you know just explore what were we talking about i don't know can you get your phone ready and take a picture of this oh my god oh dude really good idea using technology all right ready yeah it flashes though so it's probably gonna give it a shot give it a shot here we go hey look it doesn't oh no get back get back what are you doing what are you doing it's franklin he got out again franklin if there's one thing what if there's one thing we've agreed on all these years of doing gaming is that we never talk about franklin our monkey child slave wait just i mean what are we gonna do just cut the cut his part out he's ruining the show get out franklin franklin get back in your cage i don't want to talk about it get back in your mobile cage we don't have like a wall unit we bought a thing at a pet store and we just keep him in that but we don't move it so it's not actually mobile all right dan take care of him i need you to be more present right now for me we are in the last dungeon i would be if franklin wasn't in here messing up all our [ __ ] it's [ __ ] fast okay what what do i bomb here why doesn't he just communicate like a normal human aaron please it's cause he's a weird monkey child who's coming with me [Laughter] i know this is like every video game question or whatever but like why doesn't ganon just make his entire lair out of spike floors why doesn't he just [ __ ] shoot you like from a safe distance like a sniper rifle yeah just hide out like a tactical ass sniper he's just up there cocking it on his belly are not [ __ ] around i think the mirror shield is gonna protect you from a 700 gauge bullet traveling at 3 000 times the speed of sound or whatever the [ __ ] you got to fight this [ __ ] again yeah that you just noticed yeah i was looking at my list of movie titles i just like to imagine me actually like involved in a [ __ ] huge six demon fight like with a sword and you're just on your phone like bro did you know what fast if your sex was called i'm just like help me okay my friends apparently all i had to do was [ __ ] walk up and here's the big kid okay oh boy welcome to the welcome to the comments section of the last year yeah yeah exactly yes oh man cool shout out to our boys zelda don't you oh god i farted too much this isn't a [ __ ] morning radio show hey what's up it's grease man here blip it's danny the raptor whoa but don't fart on my face danny oh my farmer wife will be so upset that i'm dead again again yeah she's like every time every time you go out with your wizard friends you die i'm sorry i'm sorry at least i'm not a scholar no i love you why don't you why don't you try being a successful farmer like your brother you always had a thing for my brother oh this again ah that's why i don't invite him to our christmas parties what christmas parties ah shut up oh this again oh boy whoa whoa whoa whoa all right all right everyone's [ __ ] all right stop everybody okay all right everyone onto the treadmill of death they will dine on you tonight will they i'm pretty sure they're [ __ ] going right down nice i'm just going oh why take a second why don't i maybe because i'm scared okay fine i understand how you feel all right oh that's that's not good i think you gotta stare it up again all right noted okay oh jeez oh boy this is a predicament to be in this this is a good old-fashioned dill pickle i'm right in the middle of oh man dude you're so close i can smell ganon's pit stench [Laughter] damn that is the worst smells like [ __ ] smells like rotting eggs and bad cologne mixed with whiskey and bourbon what is the armenian oh god you know what we should strike that from the record please we just have an armenian friend who we joke about like that all the time with with his permission oh yeah oh boy shouldn't let that one slip out i just really pissed off a very slender group of our fan base now i feel like they'd be like yeah at least it was specific if i saw you on the street i beat the [ __ ] out of you so but yeah i'm never gonna see you yeah here we are but yeah i'll do a [ __ ] foot son of a [ __ ] yeah the goopy ball slug strikes again i am getting it's unreal the amount of balls how am i gonna oh i can't even keep track of how many balls there are am i gonna deal with all these balls one two three four five my closet's not big enough i don't have a sack big enough for all these balls it's not an efficient shape to store in any way balls oh that's gonna be awkward there's just about as much knot ball as there is around the ball i never imagined that you could give me so much trouble it's unbelievable that you defeated my alter ego agonym the dark wizard twice two times but i will never give you the triforce i will destroy you and make my wish to conquer both light and dark worlds come true without delay ow how how i wish i wasn't just a slow pack wow really what oh god i thought i was way stronger than this this has been a long time since i fought someone good job [ __ ] got a little [ __ ] i'll take you to dairy queen wow our third dairy queen reference of the playthrough yeah good job complete the trifecta oh hello again the triforce of dq he's just not thrilling you know like like like he's a giant pig man yeah which is just kind of like uh and and then like no i remember this being thrilling it's because we're [ __ ] jaded adults but like this was awesome when you were a kid yeah it's it's [ __ ] gannon just because it's him it carries like a lot of weight yeah that's true take my fire [ __ ] bats [Laughter] i fed them i fed them a combination of del taco and taco bell in order to get to that point very dangerous that's it yay check out my piss sword what what constitutes a stronger wish i don't know i wish to be strong i wish to be super strong like your [ __ ] your lats just go crazy oh you can't move anymore you're like trying not to mess it up you're like world peace world peace world peace hot girl damn it well it's good for me but not for world peace i'm back oh you gave him his net back and i [ __ ] twin fun dipsticks his parents are like get that deadly hornet away from us yeah thanks for remembering i'm still up here alone i've soothed your wounds many times i'll be pushing sharks later in wind waker and the master series give it away forever geez yeah i'm not so [ __ ] sure about that [ __ ] you think every so often forever or until 1996 he gets to do it like a really shitty argument he's like you know what he just like runs off the forest i'm sick and tired of your [ __ ] no it's themed yeah oh that was a great play through man yeah i'm glad i had wonderful fun me too it was nice not playing something for change yeah even though i really wanted to play links to the past so thanks thanks thanks thanks for being a dick see you later everybody i had a wonderful time me too love you guys i hope you have a wonderful day not you dan the audience okay and i hope you all remember to brush your teeth please if you don't it's important you will get a bad case of gingivitis truth and the plaque will create cavities yep and that's no fun you'll be biting into something and it'll hurt a lot and uh well there's no reversing that next time on game grumps boy you sure know how to end the [ __ ] with a bang we should just end every game episode was like a dental public service thanks for joining us and eat your peas bye everybody well we did it that was marvelous another job well done thank you aaron you're welcome [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Marcus Yamamoto

Views: 19,936

Keywords: Game Grumps, The Legend of Zelda, The Adventures of Link, A Link to the Past

Id: TtqehtDfAfg

Length: 255min 53sec (15353 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 20 2020