FUNNIEST TEXTS EVER

whole deck of cards and i've managed to pull out a queen and i've managed to pull out a joker oh dear here's the qt's mine's fainted and today we're going to be taking a look at some epic funny text messages subscribe right now and uh mr beast will give you a free roblox lamborghini no joke no scam hey hi there how's it going not the best i'll be up front i'm homeless and just got my heart broke can i come stay with you um no poor dude do you want the red pill or blue pill uh let's go blue red seems aggressive good choice blue and i think they sent for their phone number uh message from girlfriend i have bad news and good news okay we need to break up but what is the bad news excuse me and this guy's really just won the breakup right there and to be honest i'd have broken up with this girl already the fact that she doesn't even have a facebook profile picture bro at least put a picture of your dog or something mate i sexually identify as a joke please stop with the frogs lol ah okay smiley face feeling unhappy man and then he gets left on red that's painful i'm not gonna lie sending frog memes to someone you can't expect any less dude hey at least he got a little love heart oh that was on accident i mean to call my mom because i put the school in lockdown because i walked in and got lunch dude what the how what did you do with lunch i'm homeschooled is what i did bro i'm still just so confused by this meal out here dude dudes pizza slices taking up the whole freaking plate this is like an episode of orange is the new black mate not really sure that pizza slice is like just abominably large as well this dude's eating good man about to be coming home and i do have your lighter just found it omfg the party's tomorrow not today her friends funerals today i texted her you ready to party so freaked up oh that's freaked up i'm freaking mortified good one what is this swiss miss omg you people make pudding too i'm amazed at what you'll come up with next you know what you can do with your puddings yeah i have and it feels amazing oh no i hope this person hasn't been violating a little swiss miss pudding oh man it looks so creamy as well ah do you like bbc do you mean beautiful british columbia sadly i've never been no i mean something else ah bbc has some great shows the i.t crowd and peaky blinders no not that bbc you'll get it i'm sure if you meant bold by choice i'm already into bold guys but i guess you could pull it off you were very smart i see would you like a question or joke first a joke please why did barbie never have kids because she always got an abortion haha no because ken always came in another box oh le comedy i bet you nailed that outfit but you know what would look even better on you uh what's that me but um i can fake laugh hang out with me and you'll be faking a lot more than that oh man the self-deprecation i got a story for you this guy a customer comes up and says i like you i like your eyes they're so pretty i was like uh okay thank you boy goes you got a bf so i let him know i was lesbian in the politest way possible this mother trucker goes oh i don't believe you you're too pretty to be a lesbian like what the frick this is exactly what it's like working in retail mate you get some proper creatures coming up to you i'll be dressing up as a frick boy slicked back hair white tea loose jeans eyeliner mustache and baby hair beard backwards caps so like marilyn manson how in the frick do you compare those two ah wow this is an interesting um description of a frick boy what i'll rephrase the question what do you plan on doing with your time off shopping travel right you're very cute shame your conversation is lacking what say what again and i'll freaking pop your skull damn you're so cute i wouldn't mind your makeup taking out my entire bathroom counter space i'm not gonna lie i'm a little drunk and that was the freaking sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me yo i like that starting line bro hey you're like super beautiful you're not oof that's savage but hey you're good enough looking that she wants to match with you bro jeffrow just had to pull a whole sock out of his butthole with his mouth um what kind of sock luckily an ankle sock gross well since he pulled it out maybe this time he'll make the connection oh then he tried to eat it again i only just realized this person was talking about their dog my first was a human by the way did you buy me a bar of soap with a waifu on it because this showed up for my name on it and i have no clue where it came from this is uh some kind of business genius out here man waifu soap i might actually have to get a few of my friends this for christmas cleansing yourself of a waifu soap that is sigma male behavior what makes you worthy to have a one night stand with me oh man that is a interesting message to receive you're definitely a good looking lad but sadly too young for me boo lol age is only defined by a number you still felt compelled to message me though why multiple reasons you're wildly inappropriate for me you're not boyfriend material and lastly i need respond if i said you're too young have a great saturday frank yeah not trying to date someone i'll be pushing around in a wheelchair in 10 years you later girl i really like you do you like me no okay bye wait you didn't ask me if it's a lie is it a lie no aha very very savage i'll have to like free little emojis at the top here this was definitely taken from facebook i just realized wednesday starts on the letter w first day starts on the letter t and friday starts on the letter f all combined is what the yes because that's the weekend it leads up to wow it's actually kind of wild i've got some freaking scientists over here first of all he messages eliza saying are you a toaster because i want to take a bath with you and she says haha nice one it would be pretty electrifying sparks would be flying for sure you could say there's a spark between us yeah i definitely sense a connection i have a socket you could plug into and then he tries it with bella and it wasn't quite as successful are you a toaster because i'd like to take a bath with you that's how my dad died you want to take me out the same way what the frick is wrong with you you can't win them all fellas it's kind of funny how you can have like such a successful reaction and then such an unsuccessful reaction out of the same pickup line how tall are you uh five foot nine i'm only five for seven i don't date a girl taller than me it's just a personal preference i have a friend who is a lawyer six foot four athletic he likes a tall woman like you he just moved to blank from blank and it's looking to meet new people he doesn't believe in online dating contact him here tell him he got his number from me from black university he doesn't do social media for security reasons he's very successful but down to earth and not ostentatious at all you'll thank me for him if you have anyone who's petite around five feet hook me up lol if you're looking for a hookup don't contact him he's not into it wow this guy's really trying to plug his friends so hard right now i've never seen anyone on the tinder app before trying to like hook someone else up like oh you should get with my friend he's six foot four athletic and a lawyer this is what friends are for fellas not interested um why are you messaging me not even that why have you matched with this person yeah let's literally message them saying not interested hey who is this a secret admirer that's stupid um i'm not interested the heck is this conversation their contact seems to be babe one and own what who is babe one a secret admirer apparently it's definitely gonna be like a hacker catfish just trying to get some bitcoin or something i'm a little secret admirer want to send me some bitcoin who would be the first person in this group chat to up to prison you yeah man i mean the frog emoji in the name just gives it away already like this guy may as well be top 10 most wanted in america and also look at that bitmoji look at that trim oh my goodness that is just fresh that fade the christmas channel being open right now is a freaking crime um no it's not christmas yet lol that's end of november i have but one query it's the first thirstiest time of the year and yeah i'm not gonna lie i kind of disagree i feel like once it gets past halloween it's time to start getting into the christmas festivities but admittedly anything earlier than that is kind of wild like i'm pretty sure i started seeing christmas stuff coming up in the store in like mid-october and i was like what the fruit anyways guys it for the video hope you enjoyed subscribe click on screen to watch more and uh yeah peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 154,245

Keywords: funny text messages, funniest text messages, funny, texts, chats, messages, text messages, funny texts, funniest texts, funny chats, text fails, best texts, fails, memes, fainted

Id: gkw3MNGTIjI

Length: 10min 4sec (604 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 07 2021