Think about that friend you've had the longest. I'm assuming you guys have done some stuff
that you're taking to the grave, and you're not going to tell anybody. Me and my friends... we were a
little bit more crazier than normal people. We, like, constantly needed to be doing stupid stuff. And to us, it wasn't really stupid stuff. It was just... us having fun. When I was about 14 years old my boy Robbie and my cousin Shane tell me they've invented this.....invisible man trick In my head, I already know that whatever they're about to show me is going to be whack. Robbie grabs his stepmom's bike. Robbie lives on top of the hill by the way. Shane takes the bike, runs full speed, throws the bike, the bike coasts down this hill in a straight line for like 35 seconds, the pedals spin like there's an invisible man on it, and crashes into a bush. Coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. Shane runs down, grabs the bike, runs back up, Robbie takes the bike, runs full speed. *foom* I do it, it flops five feet after I let it go. We're out there taking turns for like an hour, and every time it's my turn, my invisible man acts like he has zero coordination. After a while Shane leaves. I go to throw the bike. All of a sudden, my invisible man
turns into Lance Armstrong. It gets halfway down the hill. I'm freaking out like, "Yes! Go! Go!" Right before it goes into the bush, a frickin' car comes out of nowhere, BAM! and the guy stops the car. *skeerrr* "Oh my god! Oh my God! Me and Robbie are FROZEN. Then we do what any responsible teenager would do. We book back into Robbie's house. We run into his room and act totally casual. Like you know in Grand Theft Auto when you have five stars, and you gotta hide behind a dumpster to let the cool down happen. Like this is us in Robbie's room. So we give it about an hour, and we casually just stroll outside. There's like 10 other houses as you go down this hill between the bottom of the hill and Robbie's house, so it's not really obvious where this bike might have come from. We look down the hill, car is gone. Robbie's stepmom's bike is still there. Robbie casually takes a walk down the hill , like you know it's a Sunday afternoon stroll, grabs the bike and then runs up with it.
The alignment on this bike is 1000% EFFED. Like it is so messed up. Robbie throws the bike in the garage, and
we disavow all knowledge of this mission. This story just randomly popped into my head the other day, and I was thinking, "You know, I probably screwed this guy up psychologically." What would you think if you're driving in your car, and all of a sudden, a *hand smack*, you get out, you don't find a body? Like you're gonna think you're a murderer. For all I know, this guy rushed home, uprooted his family, moved to Mexico the next day. I don't even know what was probably running through his head when he got out and saw this bike and no body. So if you're watching this, and you live in Orlando,
and a bike has ever randomly slammed into the side of your car, and you
couldn't find the body when you got out? Just know you're not a murderer, bro. (No.) I want the entire (no) world to know (no) that you're mean to me (no), and you bully me (no), and this is my live footage. (I'm the nicest friend you have. Stop it.) (Outro Music: ... done did it. 140 BPM done did it ... two sets, two days done did it. Shows done did it. Tours done did it. Did it how they didn't want to do it. Done did it. Pull a fast one on me? You're kidding ... ain't wit it.)
