Daycare Stories

[Music] oh hello my geeks and peeps my explainers and entertainers my little udelies rebecca parham here so did you know i was a daycare kid probably not because i've never mentioned it before makes sense given that mom and dad were both working parents and leaving one's infant at home alone is generally considered problematic now i know it might be hard to believe but i haven't always been the pinnacle of refinement and maturity that you see before you today no no as a kid that was a bit of a rascal for example the box story now at this daycare we had a big playroom and in this playroom there was a dark little alcove where custodial stuff and equipment was kept all the time and one morning during playtime i noticed someone had left a large box there big enough for a child to hide behind now there's a concept that i call kid logic and it's basically just a name for that randomness that kids possess or the absurdity that is their reasoning sometimes for example when i saw that box that's when my kid logic kicked in and i said i'm gonna hide behind that box for as long as possible and see what happens this is a great idea so when the adults weren't looking i slunk behind the box and crouched down hiding myself entirely i must have stayed there for half an hour before playtime ended and they ushered all the kids away to a different room for a new activity and funny enough the adults were none the wiser i was gone i've beat the system now this is what gets me it took an hour of me hiding before an adult came back to the room and visibly began looking around for something couldn't imagine what it might be now where did i leave that small child must be around here someplace i peeked my head up over the edge of the box to watch but that proved to be my undoing i was spotted i've been compromised i got in big trouble for that of course i was clearly not good at getting away with things when i was a kid as you'll see in the next story now one time at this daycare they brought in a whiteboard and you were only allowed to draw on it with adult supervision okay i won't draw on the board instead i stole a green dry erase marker when no one was looking and proceeded to decorate my face hey listen i didn't break the rules they specifically said don't draw on the board they said nothing about my face i put the marker back and walked away but was promptly spotted by an adult becca did you do this to yourself no did somebody do this to you yes who did it well sheesh i hadn't thought i had that far and i honestly didn't even think to blame another kid instead that good old kid logic kicked in and i came up with the most foolproof story that was sure to get my hide out of trouble i was minding my own business looking for something to play with and then the markers came over and marked on my face nailed it i will never understand how that daycare worker kept a straight face but off the timeout i went so what are you in for disrupting the status quo whoa i stuck gum up my nose something i haven't mentioned yet is that my sister rachel also went to this daycare and because she's two years older than me she got to be in the big kids program called the superstars and i was so jealous that i took to calling them the stupid stars extra crispy on that burn there little becca but one thing that will always be a significant memory to me is the day i discovered that the superstars had a nintendo better yet they had super mario brothers and that my little oodle ollies was the first time i ever saw a console video game i thought i was looking at magic and that became the only thing i ever wanted to do at playtime was go over to the big kid area and watch them play super mario brothers don't you dare tell me that gamers aren't real entertainers i was watching people play video games long before the appliers and septicaes and deep eyes of the world made it a thing but when playtime was over the daycare staff had to pry me away kicking and screaming from that tv set one day however i came up with a brilliant idea when they pulled me away from the big kids corner and sat me down with the other little kids i proceeded to scream and cry that i miss my big sister and nothing was gonna console me except being allowed to be with her in the big kid area i guess the adults didn't know what else to do so they actually let me go back over holy crayola that actually worked sure enough i made a beeline for the nintendo screw you sis i got video games to observe it didn't take long for an adult to catch on and i was eventually pulled away again when i tried the same shtick they gently said becca you say you miss your sister but every time you go over there you just watch them play video games okay maybe they had me there not gonna lie that's a pretty solid accusation all right grown-up i'll concede to you this time but one day i'll be grown up and i'll watch all the video games i want don't you mean play them no now i've saved the best story for last even when i started kindergarten there was no escaping this daycare because one of the services they provided was picking up children from my elementary school and taking them back to the daycare where the parents could pick them up later so every day i didn't get picked up by a parent or get on a normal yellow school bus i waited for a big white van that sounds rather nefarious now that i say it out loud but yeah rachel and i would wait for the van pile in with the other kids and go wait to get picked up at the daycare and this was a routine my kindergarten teacher knew she was a very good teacher and kept track of the way each of her students were supposed to go home so she would make sure i got in that van well i was getting a little bored of the routine and here's good old kid logic again because many of my classmates would get to walk home and for some reason i decided that was the cool thing to do i aspired to walk home but that wasn't gonna happen with miss responsibility pants botching my whole operation so like the little devil i was i waited until we had a substitute teacher all right here's your evil genius learner's permit kiddo when school ended that day instead of getting into the daycare van i hid behind a brick pillar and waited for the van to leave without me funny how my sister never said anything she must have been like alright i guess she died as soon as the van left i headed off on foot my house was within walking distance only about a mile away but i began to think as i walked that no one was actually going to be at the house and i had no way of getting inside probably should have thought of that before so instead of walking home i made the executive decision to walk to the daycare instead now i knew i knew what i was doing was against the rules because every single time i saw a white vehicle of any sort coming in the distance i would duck behind a tree or bush as fast as i could when i was so close that i could see the daycare up ahead i noticed what was most definitely a white van approaching and the only tree immediately available was thinner than me so not only was this tree already insufficient and hiding me but when i jumped behind it i didn't think to put the tree between me and the line of sight of the van so when the daycare staff approached this is what they saw i'm revoking that evil genius learner's permit they stopped the van made me get inside and guess who i found in the back seat the snitch that ratted me out my own sister how could you we were brothers you and i wait and that is just a handful of examples of what a little monster i was i talked to my sister about this script and she came up with even more stories about this daycare so if you guys like this video then maybe there'll be another one in the future who knows all right have fun out there oodle allies and avoid white vans thank you so much for tuning in but now i gotta tune out bye

Channel: Let Me Explain Studios

Views: 8,357,665

Rating: 4.9295516 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: kC4I3Bdg-og

Length: 8min 20sec (500 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 30 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Demonangeldust]

Gotta love Rebecca