Extreme Love & The Truth About White People - Ali Siddiq

today people I live in a gated community black people don't judge me cuz they tricked me they tricked me why he would trick me cuz on the road sure it was real multi-cultured on the brochure they had everybody on that brochure smiled like they lived over there it's just it's just all white people in me and it's just white people and I I need a sitcom I need something it's just us me and he's white folk let me tell you something white people will change you you'd be thinking that you live around them and you're not gonna be pleasant she white people don't play that you live in a neighborhood and then they want to meet you that's crazy but I found that it was all white people in my neighborhood cuz they want to meet you see I'm not accustomed to that let me tell you some people I'm from the projects and in the process let me tell you what never happens in the projects when you move it to the projects don't nobody come and greet you but I say hey welcome to the projects welcome to hell right do that well you in a gated community oh these wife you want to meet you I'm sitting my house minding my own business doorbell rang I open the door four hundred white people outside my door hang on lie I panicked I panicked I panicked I slammed the door call the police they protesting they protested who broke us up all of them and I'm so terrified when the police get there I still got the chain on the door open the door I say what they say they say they are not processing they're coming to greet you they have I looked out there wifothx had baked goods and look basket you say well I learned about why people and I want all other races to take this cuz there's been a lot of years since we didn't had a good stereotype Oh lot of stereotypes dumb but this one right here oh I did the research oh I did the research and they're not gonna lie cuz they ain't here not a good stereotype about white people now did the research white people love trail mix oh they love it love it eat it every day they love it look at don't look at him in LA yes I did have to throw me got me eating it hey Trail Mix used to hate it you know black people don't like stuff without salt on it we traveling things like I got too much nutrients India it's all these vitamins and minerals in it have a son his name is Hasan tell you something I told y'all earlier - bye my kids hi son that's not gonna be a serial killer I'm just just throwing it out this y'all to know cuz I'm eating me tell you how I know how song I'll be a serial killer her son is four years old and Hassan whispers yeah what for you you know whisper and then he don't wake you up like a normal child cuz normal kids come to the front of the bed with your face face hi son rub your feet you know how to smoke it in to be walking about child whispering rubbing your feet what you thirsty I say that I look dehydrated in my sleep uh son say my daddy you want some juice someone oh damn juice you say some primo juice in the kitchen I said pretty poor juice boy chips most mothers know we pre pour juiciest this is juice that he poured for himself that his mother told me he cannot have so it's just in the kitchen three poet since Ida had to do nothing I would go get that juice but I should have known as a setup cuz I walked into the hallway he gonna lean all right daddy will you get that Jose so we his rule drinking juice mine alone business he's my boss of the room but why the hell are you letting him drink that juice I said she walk out mad at me I went right to my son I say hey man you got me in trouble my son went to my ego how you gonna get in trouble you daddy got me all riled up I said you got there right now daddy busting the kitchen hey who the hell are you to tell me that my son they had a joke say I'm the one know your son is allergic to grape juice like I look back my son was swelling up and so he was talking he just bid me go two hours later I end up in the hospital with my son whispering rubbing his feet four years old I'll know everything about him before I'm ready for you to hit my truck long I met this boy

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 3,858,897

Rating: 4.9258623 out of 5

Keywords: stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, relationships, love, murder, true crime, gated communities, white people, white neighborhood, projects, stereotypes, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up, Ali Siddiq, The Half Hour

Id: bjGUeI35VPI

Length: 6min 35sec (395 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 26 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/livingthedream666]

Fucking love Ali Siddiq. I would recommend his two This is Not Happening bits about prison to anyone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtWsdD-8tQ4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXdIVk77PL8

[u/LouieKablooie]

he's good.

[u/portkid]

I detect a bit of Eddy Murphy style of delivery in the beginning really enjoyed this bit I’ll have to check him out.

[u/brehswag]

Totally reminds me of Chappelle’s grape juice bit.

[u/lesteramod1]

White people all be like...

black be like ...

Not my style of joke writing, but he had great timing.

[u/CubonesDeadMom]

This guys killing it lately. I loved his stories on this is a not happening