Everything Wrong With Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Part 1

Alamut it's gonna feel weird under a Disney logo tradition for tradition sake also waiting a match of wha these opening crawls always seem to tell a story that is not logical from where we left off the Jedi and the clones destroyed the droid army in the factory where they were built in the last movie but suddenly Dooku can go around making successful attacks that he wasn't capable of before these two ships are doing absolutely nothing except making a long unbroken shot possible of course when it's all a cartoon I want impressive is that this is just stupid ludicrous survival also this brings to light the fact that there appears to be no solid military plan involved on either side hey just send all your ships out we'll flip a coin heads we die tails we die well someone's gotta win might as well be else flying is for droids obi-wan became the one-liner [ __ ] of the series if you have droids that can do this why not give them bombing capabilities the generals command ship is dead ahead still like four minutes ago you said the same thing general Grievous's ship is directly ahead neither it nor you moved or changed direction in the last four minutes oh I have a bad feeling about this in earlier uses of this line it was always in a situation that was undefined the person saying it didn't know why they got a bad feeling but they got it nonetheless now you're just sticking it in for lip service Revenge of the Sith brings the new trilogy circle of life to a close by delivering us more extremely useless Jedi droid battle if only the bad guys in these movies have made their ships less artoo compatible they would have won this so it's come to this a coughing robot destroyers this is almost a reenactment of the scene from Phantom Menace when these destroyers showed up you think they learned to come from the sides to make defense nearly impossible there's no reason these droids didn't blast these guys already you stood here for a solid minute while Anakin hung from this thing artoo continues to accidentally himself out of every situation he finds himself a Sith Lords are our speciality yeah except for quite on too soon also you faced one Sith Lord by my count and you only beat him because quite unsafe indiv up Anakin here is a newbie so the statement makes no sense whatsoever especially considering the two of you lost quickly to this dude last movie my powers have doubled since the last time we met count I rolled a 20-sided die and got a million extra hit points oh come at me bro also no one for whom this was true would actually bother to say this robots enter this Jedi battle to make things extra pointless yeah get the CGI makes it look like this shouldn't even hurt yep similar in George Lucas's basement there are a number of severed arms and hands he didn't commit the crimes but he is haunted by them good and he kicked good I remember return to the Jedi too he cut off yah you wanted revenge tale as old as time another Wilhelm bites the dust such a tragic family so the good guys are blasting the ship but why don't they know Palpatine is on it don't they know two Jedi are trying to save Palpatine I don't know what I just saw but it was total [ __ ] shields why didn't they do this before do you have a plan B I hope not Luke and Leia need to be born aside from the coughing which is done as hell how does a robot get promoted through the ranks so quickly and become a general cause it's a nonsense discount robot Darth Maul's so now the best chance for survival involves Anakin trying to crash-land this gigantic ship as opposed to any kind of Jedi something-something escape pod something 8 + 16 well it means something it's good to see that during all this war someone spotted the crashing ship and set for fire fighting Jets to come spray water on it maybe don't shoot it down next time landing stood straight ahead we're coming in too hot too hot for 10 miles of runway how is that possible calculated risk behind-the-scenes control I don't know seems a bit foolish to me for the Emperor to endanger himself in a crash landing like this well the first 24 minutes of this thing or so bull but it's still better than the Trade Federation negotiations you owe me one and not for saving your skin for the 10th time ninth time that business on Cato Neimoidia doesn't doesn't count once again Jedi talk about some we never got to see these two are doing a marvelous job hiding their secret roommates and by marvelous I of course mean terrible OS pers that you've been killed why who knew the situation enough to make any kind of speculation wait yeah yeah it's not here where you've already run to me pick me up in your arms and canoodle me let's actually save the kissing for another place where no one can actually see us in private it's truly amazing how you and a whole bunch of Jedi Council members can't sense this what are we gonna do okay I have an elaborate plan that involves you dying me turning evil and our twins not knowing they're related for almost 30 years what do you second happiest moment of my life except when my mom died and I slaughtered all those Tusken Raiders but this is a close second you're so beautiful she's okay but have you seen her decoy something because I'm so on that no one who has ever been in love would write dialog like this that's probably true look in the span of one movie Padme has gone from serious determined protector of Naboo to flirty give a girl in a nightie Anakin rips off the my love is gonna die chosen one dreams from neo in the matrix reloaded how do you sleep with this much light pouring in the window shut the [ __ ] blinds you idiots also you're dating and just dating a baby in secret but you're living together openly in the capital city you died in childbirth it was only a dream I won't let this one become real I will lightsaber the death out of you I doubt the Queen will continue to allow me to serve in the Senate how do you go from queen to senator but then the replacement Queen has more power than you do is this monarchy not based on birthright is the Queen elected but then still call the Queen I'm so confused about Nobu's politics and that's in the trilogy that's been ungodly amounts of time on politics yourself you speak of or someone you know there's no way Anakin is holding back all of his feelings right now this guy wears his whole life on a sleeve and yet the force tells you to nothing the fear of loss is a path to the dark side what isn't a path to the dark side huh train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose seems like this would have been Jedi 101 with obi-wan teaching Anakin this on the first day of class especially since the whole Jedi Council didn't want to train him because of that very reason somehow this guy made it through his training without one wit of knowledge silico ma has fallen and master vos has moved his troops to Boz pity my brain just spun a wheel chance to figure out what the hell oh we won just said I'm depending on you for what I don't understand why would you he's literally giving you zero information so far I guess this guy is somewhere on some other planet sitting in a chair with the exact dimensions of this chair Jesus what about the Droid attack on the Wookiees he's right it's a system we cannot afford to lose because wiki's produce tons of wool for the universe or some actually I have no idea what they do but Chewbacca man what kind of nonsense is this George Lucas films his actors speaking in private the only reason the council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you can someone not bug his office why do you have to enlist the iffy Anakin as an undercover detective Anakin did not take to his new assignment with much enthusiasm it's very dangerous putting them together seems like maybe you three could have prevented a galactic disaster but just didn't for some reason with all due respect must' is he not the chosen one with all due respect Obi were you not voicing your own concerns about him in the last movie because you were ass it's like Lucas thinks of a line of dialogue that will propel his narrative then assigns it to a character at random a prophecy that misread could have been and you're only bringing this up now you guys have done a lot based on this prophecy you suddenly don't seem to trust because the writers want to make you know stir dance he will not let me down you know the house what these movies have implied nothing short of an exasperated mentor and rebellious student dynamic between these do the saying right now I mean and it can literally disobeys you at every turn I hope right you are and did the prequels take all the fun out of Yoda speech patterns or what hold me like you did by the lake on the moon specific hugging instructions are specific also I didn't ever think it would come to this book I'm sinning look so long ago when there was nothing but I love no politics no plotting no war Oh while you were falling in love last movie all kinds of politics plotting at war we're going on what the actual circus all bubbles I know they don't trust you Anakin is officially the worst undercover cop ever blabs - Palpatine within 90 seconds I want to know who the [ __ ] on the council trust Anakin and has the power to override Yoda and Windu one matter such as these the jet use their power for good good as a point of view anything Anakin's mind is more easily manipulated than first-graders you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise Shh I'm trying to watch the electric bubble show dude he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life what purpose did it serve for Darth Plagueis to impregnate me who then went to Tatooine and gave birth to a potential Jedi who without a whole bunch of happening would never been discovered then his apprentice killed him in his sleep this series has been so focused on keeping the Palpatine Darth Sidious secret that it's lost sight over what could have been an awesome thing to see Sidious learning about the force and killing his master that's all these movies are explanations and backstories of things that would've been also to see but we only hear about cheap Chewbacca cameo feels cheap and cameo did these Wookiees just do it Tarzan yell my god man just hurts my soul however it may turn out just to be a wild bantha chase goose called it doesn't appreciate your appropriation of its idiom I have trained you since you were a small boy I have taught you everything I know except that part about controlling your emotions and whatnot we skipped that lesson I'm not gonna die in childbirth in you remember the dream about his dying mom he had as she was actually dying though right we are being held hostage by us but not closely enough apparently obi-wan watches himself pilot a ship away from the dock and I'm left to wonder am i watching the island right now and somehow obi-wan managed to fake everyone out by not being on the ship when it blew away something we didn't get to see because it's total bullsh when did he wanna learn to ride one of these random bastards this military fortress has no way of detecting an alerting General Grievous of this Jedi lizard intrusion Greta's sounds exactly like Sarah's from Galaxy Quest while these four stun gun guards attacked obi-wan none of the greatest loyal robots do Jack Wow I was perfectly sized to fall on four incompetent robots I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count when did you guys have time for that what's better than one or two lightsabers for lightsabers this is the funniest image in all of Star Wars people just walk around and minding their own business while a huge battle takes place upstairs the same things Obi Wan's instant spiritual bond with this planet's version of a Hippogriff and yeah sure I guess he's using the forces connection with all the universe to do this but honestly I just wanted to say the word hypocrite in this video okay I mean it's not like you didn't lower your eyes at this - and you've never seen more lost lightsabers and these [ __ ] prequels that's like candy at least films I think the whole reason for the plot now is so that George Lucas can insert Holograms on-screen a sense of plot to destroy the Jedi the dark side of the force surrounds the Chancellor oh so you guys got your ability to see more clearly now the dark sides been clouding your vision all the way up until now I guess the force simply acts according to the whim of the screenwriter don't you wanna why they would make you a Jedi Master don't you wonder why Anakin is so powerful in the force but so blind to the super obvious manipulation and you will be able to save your wife from certain day except not and when Padme still dies it makes no sense that Anakin Vader doesn't then go in to put Zurcher mode and consume the entire galaxy or at least kill Palpatine for lying obi-wan apparently can punch this robot electric weapon with his bare hand and not suffer damage from it these two are wrestling on the controls see to this disk transport while it perfectly execute hairpin turns in other words get both of these fools land on a hangar floor which is lucky since this disk craft goes over the edge and falls 18 stories below revenge of the convenience obi-wan never once uses the force push against this [ __ ] even though he clearly showed the ability to do so I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord a Sith Lord Wow 90 seconds of what am I going to do contemplation you're under arrest genzler didn't even get a scene where they tell Yoda about Palpatine what he might think about the situation this arrest seems totally rushed and emotionally charged completely anti Jedi in every way how did this [ __ ] become a Jedi if he's so damn easy to kill and mr. no-name here too and this is sort of the problem movies have in general I have a hard time explaining how good someone is at a particular art so the answer is let's make everyone else really bad at their job emperor versus mace windu battle really heats things up with a big load of boring unsurprised a big turkey power of icon didn't show up on screen or a big pile of money I think this officially qualifies as a fetish henceforth you shall be known as Darth Vader I don't know why that name popped into my head especially since everybody else has not-so-subtle Darth names like Maul Sidious and playgates but I'm not married to it let's see what happens you

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 8,599,383

Keywords: cinemasins, everything wrong with, episode iii, wave jockey job, review, eww, cinema sins, star wars, revenge of the sith, episode 3

Id: m0TGcvtzjUs

Length: 13min 2sec (782 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 17 2015