Everything Wrong With Don't Breathe In 15 Minutes Or Less

[Music] you 56 seconds of logos and three of them are Sony companies that Sony has to remind you or Sony by putting their Sony on it Looby opens with almost a minute of action that happens toward the end of the movie because why would we want any of the stories future events to be a mystery that's no fun it's why I include spoilers in every sense video also incredibly convenient for this story that this guy gets to live in a house in a completely abandoned neighborhood we're not even homeless people dare to trip kill that already money is particularly dickish to the guy disabling the alarm that if not disabled will cause them to get arrested the director said let's have your character eat an apple at the very beginning of the movie it'll make us all look more like [ __ ] also who does that the stood is in the middle of a heist it is like need my nutrition while I'm working money's Bergling skills are on par with Marv and Harry from home alone peeing or masturbating after seeing the fluid they hit the floor I'm gonna say pee but this dude really enjoys peeing doesn't he also a great job leaving your DNA all over the foyer of this house [ __ ] alright you did it you successfully robbed these rich people now it's time to relax in their house you are his trio with bandits have robbed several houses together but this is the first time they've collectively discussed their plans to run away unless Alex's dad is also their janitor on top of being their security system provider there is no reason for him to have a key to all his clients homes old windows screensaver is expositional enough to be a screensaver while leaving the desktop image of Alex and his dad visible for the viewer to see 18:37 Bonavista street houses with your dad's security company already checked so one of the robber kids is the son of a guy who works for the security company so if these people keep knocking over houses that use the same security company don't the detectives start thinking about employees or family of those employees as the prime suspects is this place they're in a restaurant where they obviously ordered some food but it's abandoned enough to talk openly about the house robberies houses with your dad's security company I already checked not only does this insane blind man have a security monitoring system in this dilapidated neighborhood instead of just bars on his windows and a load of guns but it so happens to be a security system installed and monitored by Alex's dad's company which is impossibly convenient content aids major larceny unless he's referring to an official in the US military then I have no idea what major larceny is he may mean grand larceny but there's no way to know not amounting to serious cop presence I'll do an investigation but all the other robberies you guys have done they've been like wow these guys stole less than ten thousand dollars worth of stuff so we won't need to investigate that too hard and by the way isn't it weird these robberies keep coming up just short of $10,000 every let's go catch some people speeding if we do this right we never have to do it again but you have no way of knowing how to do it right because you don't know if he even has this money in his house at all the whole plan to commit gret I mean major larceny is built on a hunch that this man is the kind of weirdo that just keeps very large sums of money in his basement or between his mattress and box spring or in a safe behind a busted piece of drywall I mean they'll be right but still is there some sort of blurry focus sunset going over this phone also text message plays the pronoun game to set up the next scene that requires little to no setup apparently if you google someone's address it won't just show you their house on Google Maps it will also bring up articles about court cases the homeowner was involved in google has certainly gotten creepier over the years I mean Google is fantastic and YouTube is the greatest media outlet in history also sure let's type in the exact address of the place you're about to rob directly into a search engine no one will ever make a connection to you the security company and the place you're robbing the story is brought to you by Zoltan Berta the Detroit News finance editor because if it involves money at all this guy is your man even if it's a settlement in a fatal car crash case and if you read the first couple of words of this article you will realize mr. Zoltan has never written an article before orgy of evidence that this family is broken watching cops numerous large empty beer bottles on the table chimney smoking this guy has swastika tattoos it's almost insulting there isn't a crack pipe or a body outline lying on the floor somewhere Alex reads up on the army vet who lost his daughter and got a settlement from it and it's basically the gangs conscience but he reads this guy's story and now he's like he probably kidnapped and artificially inseminated the girl who killed his daughter in a creepy basement so let's Rob it also our kids these days just texting each other and all caps now or are they just all caps texting because they're trying to match the blunt and aggressive tone of the movies first ten minutes also why does she have this phone set to military time hey you know Mubi tries to make Rock East evening into something good so that she can get her sister out of this house but stealing an army veteran's dead daughter settlement jeez maybe this broken home isn't broken enough to make that okay also Rocky's little sister wants to be a surfer because she's also been watching this movie and knows that rocky wants to move to California so she says this to give Rocky the perfect setup to say which he apparently already knows of course this guy lives in a desolate ghost town neighborhood where he's the only one left somehow this neighborhood didn't get turned into a Walmart as any news has here yeah I was compelled to get it because I knew you'd asked me about it forcing me to explain more of my backstory also that tattoo looks pretty good for just getting it yesterday no swelling and only slight in prison she got so fed up with the crying that she would lock me in the trunk of her car but there was this um little hole in the trunk and one time a ladybug flew and kept me company made me feel safe I'm not one to judge someone's got thrown in a trunk experience but that sounds like [ __ ] to me the lighting alone would prevent you from even seeing the ladybug much less get comforted by it my name is just outside and was unable to see the Rottweiler coming at them he was also quite enough until he got to the window to be a jump-scare dick Sir Guy you mean the guy you said was a shut-in and hasn't left the house in five days according to your surveillance video how do you miss him leaving the house that's kind of doctor I'm a blind guy isn't it not if he's a military hero and lost his daughter in a car crash it's not lets her out let's be asleep or he's Bluffs playing damn it beat me to it you mean you guys have been casing this place for five days and you don't know that he uses four locks on his front door when he gives backup keys at the security company because no one gives keys to their security company movie keeps making me sin this general direction as the master keypad he'll kill the alarm how was this not discussed before you guys left yeah but why this guy has four locks on his front door some of which he doesn't trust the security company with puts bars at his window has a bolt on the cellar door but he's not savvy enough to put bars on one of the windows in his house hell he put a motion sensor here so he knew there was a chance someone might try this including a security company he doesn't trust apparently the blind guy decided to set an alarm on basically silent so that it wouldn't wake him up if his sensor is armed then opening that window would immediately sound the alarm not quietly ask you to enter the code she must have got it by now she's fine yeah well I say this right now does money seem like the type of guy who won't do something stupid if you insult him in the middle of a robbery they all decide to take their shoes off inside potentially leaving behind evidence that all three of them were in the house so is this really the plan they're just gonna snoop around a house and hope they stumble upon a large sum of money that isn't under lock and key inside the house just so you know this hammer will be useful later in the movie here it is up close so you can remember which hammer it is grieving father watches or in this case listens to home videos of his kids cliche and here's a Rick Grimes gun completing the tour of weapons that will be important later time money assumes the knockout gas worked within 5 seconds of him applying it these kids try to pry the door open this way instead of just trying to pry the lock off the door or just go into the little too area next to the kitchen grab a screwdriver and just unscrew the lock from the door and doorframe damn dude shut the hell up stop trying to make it sound like you're the good burglar y'all really think just is you jerk off to her Instagram selfies that makes you Romeo how did you find out about that oh he's talking to Alex carry on what are you blind he's clearly been deaf up until now based on how much noise you guys made getting into this house without him waking up I kind of find it hard to believe that the blind guy doesn't hear Alex's footsteps at any time during this close call in the hallway or his attempt to get out of the way or smell him or notice a change in the atmosphere or get a feeling in his trick knee he seems to only be perceptive when it plays into the story's plot everybody just happens to be in the place they need to be to figure out how to steal the money also considering the paranoia this guy displays and how he sensed there was more than one robber here seems like he'd be a little more cautious about the safe the manufacturers of this safe are out of business now I can't remember why blind guy is actually keeping thousands of dollars in a safe inside his house I guess after he won his settlement the judge handed him a briefcase filled with money which I assume is how it works in Detroit who's calling this [ __ ] at 3:00 a.m. right now and since when are phone buzzes that loud not charging your phone before a heist blind guy can't smell the actual people standing right in front of him but he can smell their shoes the blind man has this girl tied up in the basement complete with a string that rings a bell to tell him she's moving but find it the fluorescent lights turn on off to isn't for the jump-scare he also allows her to keep an expositional newspaper next to her in a little padded area maybe just as a reminder for the terrible thing she did but more so she can show passers-by who she is when the blind man was designing his home he opted for the dim and ominous red lights that don't really provide any practical lighting this safe which has up to eight numbers you can fill in has the exact same code as the money safe and why does he have another safe down here for the keys when he could simply have those in the same safe upstairs well when I finally released my kidnap victim I want to make sure the keys are down here already better get another safe for convenience these girls don't immediately start running away from the guy with the gun staying exposed and the only small opening he has for shooting purposes convenient abandoned neighborhood continues to be convenient maybe you should've thought about this before you started shooting up the cellar you knew this girl was up because you heard the bell ring so why did you shoot so indiscriminately you've been to war man you know better perfect chance to walk slowly the [ __ ] out of here wasted to the front door I can tell just by looking and I memorized the way the locks look on the front door I think it was okay with these guys finding ways to be super silent when the blind man was around but now I'm floored they survived this running around in the dark basement filled with an obstacle course seen stupidly saying things out loud ex machina what are you waiting for you don't have another kidnap girl who killed your daughter down here do you guns empty but still uh sit listen how the do you know that you're still in the dark just got strangled how the hell do you know where you are I see why first off didn't the blind guy turn off the breakers second off if he only turned off the breakers for the basement why did he do that instead of the whole house third off even if he didn't why is there a light up here the last time I saw this area all it had was a red light which should be off anyway and no light behind the door so you telling me this blind man turned on the light before he went to the cellar door to start shooting people Todd how did the dog get in here did the blind guy leave the doors open for the dog to get in I'm almost sure he didn't since the doors are still up and I don't think this guy has a doggie door considering all the security he has in place and the blind man was in such a panic to kill these fools I doubt he woke up his dog Unchained him and put him in the house just in case did you forget what you guys found out before entering the house rocky had to go through the one window that wasn't blocked remember totally and completely astonishing he didn't bring this gun in the first place when he first thought there might be intruders in this house the blind man no longer has the blood stains on his shirt that were there when they were in the cellar I guess he found the time to change shirts when he was down there are you sure about that yeah blind dude kidnap and kill the woman but you still broke into his house and tried to steal almost a million dollars once again Vince that are big enough for an adult to crawl through to make John McClane proud Alec survives this to an insane degree where he's only unconscious for a few minutes and has no scars or death afterwards also the dog was able to push Alex through this window and he wasn't immediately stopped by metal bars why did he and rocky think they were trapped in this room when they could have escaped through this window Alec survives even more this as I see Alex survived every fall crash choking and head smashing in this movie I wonder why Charles Xavier never recruited this kid even though the blind man killed the power when they were in the cellar the washing machine can come on because it's on battery backup you understand nothing sane Cindy took my child away from me I thought they told me fair she gave me a new one and he is yet another whammy for the movie introducing us to the wonderful world of the sky artificially inseminating his kidnapped victims to get a new child believe me this makes the movie way better when you find about Papa dragons basement full of jizz also this movie officially turns the villain hero thing on its head to justify all the actions we've seen in this movie these kids who rob people's houses are now forgiven because this guy is even worse than they are movie fails to show Alex's backup power supply and computer screen POV that he obviously has built inside him from his time at Skynet so movie expects me to believe that the blind man was able to beat the [ __ ] out of Alex like he wasn't blind but when he goes to kill him he completely misses and stabs money's body even though the blind guy was standing right over Alex don finds its way out of the hvac and the wall I guess because this is actually a video game dog that whenever it gets stuck gets to restart from the spot there's no god I don't know have you met Alex this is exactly what I think it is not a rapist I never forced myself on her your honor all I did was artificially inseminate her while keeping her against her will so despite the fact that I'm going to jail forever or at least I have my morals just this all of this why is there hair in it don't answer that holding the turkey baster in this way allowing man seed to drip out also this is not a contest I don't think you need that much or do you now I'm doubting my personal man seed production only now it's almost completely full what was he doing for that one second considering what we know of Alex this is literally deus ex machina just in case the whole semen thing wasn't as distasteful as it could be we will now stab him with the baster and make it choked on it the blind man decided to take the bag full of money down to the basement with him after taking it off a Rakhi and leaving it in another room in a previous scene because he understood a movie is being made and needed to keep the money conflict going first off even if the blind man was able to get out of the basement he would have had to run to the room where the gun was and if you recall he didn't know where that gun was after he threw Alex into the workbench because he proceeded to use hedge clippers second off I can't believe they're saying alex is dead here after all the other stuff he survived even after being bludgeoned with a metal hammer assaulted by a jizz baster and handcuffed to a padded room this old blind man was able to rush up behind them and shoot Alex before they leave the house will you just leave the premises please haven't you had enough they tired and beaten Rocky still manages to outrun this dog rocky has an amazing magical bag that disappears at random times so no one else can steal it if it's filled with money not only does rocky have a magical disappearing bag she also has magical regenerative pants that can sew themselves back together after getting cut during the attempted insemination this is clever but I feel like taking her sister to California and getting a waitressing job is easier than the bull she's going through just to keep the money dog continues to go after her face instead of biting literally anywhere else you can go now you can go now how many get away fake outz if we had in the last five minutes I killed five Ruby shows me the moment it showed me at the beginning of the movie making me feel like I just wasted the last hour and 20 minutes of my life oh you you and your face of course the remote to turn on the alarm is here because of course it is of course blind guy doesn't know how to properly disarm his own security system if the siren goes off rocky has tremendous trouble leaving a situation when she has the chance the cops come quickly to a house in the middle of a neighborhood no one knew still existed and they somehow don't see Rocky running after turning this corner News playing in the background that's important to the story cliche this visually-impaired man was able to defend himself shooting and killing both his attackers on the spot detectives were baffled and all the Jews and the obvious kidnapping dungeon in his basement but what a man does with his jizz and a turkey baster and an obvious kidnapping dungeon in his own house is his business in stable condition death is a stable condition right because she's definitely killed him movie so aggressively wants to sequel it allows this blind man to survive all this this is buck buck dragon my name is Lester Burnham this is my neighborhood subliminal liminal and super you understand nothing you know nothing or let is black gold I have been stabbed shot poisoned frozen hauled electrocuted and burned

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 9,090,536

Keywords: don't breathe, movie, cinema sins, cinemasins, wave jockey job, everything wrong with, film, mistakes, eww, review

Id: Rcz9IIt6sRw

Length: 15min 27sec (927 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 31 2017