Everything Wrong With The Boy in Scary Doll Minutes

we'll be definitely commits a crime by starting with one minute and 18 seconds of Logan's also Comcast cab driver adjust his rearview mirror to try to get a good downblouse peak and I'm not even sure why this is important man this guy is a total sin in and of himself but man this woman has some incredible radar when detecting unconventional perv methods apologies miss no it was to wake you other than trying to see down your shirt from my rearview mirror but I got a weird feeling you didn't like that also really trying to talk to her in the car didn't seem like a valid option is anyone up there hi even though the driver just said the heelshires had to step out for a moment they beg your pardon miss then they asked that you wait in the parlor let's walk up the stairs and look around great way to make a first impression with your new employers who knows what evil lurks in the heart of this house the doorknob nose I see this family hired that painter that makes everyone looked dead inside that artist is shockingly popular but I hear his rates are reasonable I don't believe Malcolm nor do I believe that the taxi driver couldn't figure out a better way to wake Greta up less than 10 minutes in and we've already had two people approach our main character oddly and scare the out of them because they have horror movie instincts for no goddamn reason cliches not a good start the boy not a good start on the grocery boy a quick well Chris free man I am the show actually will be flirting yeah this works better with a pair of your panties though just kidding that'd be weird and the Sun thumbs Amy your son Brahms I was sure I left my shoes right here it's Brahms he can be playful so not one male character in this movie so far doesn't have a fetish we got the down Bowser the gum reader and the shoe stealer also of course we find out later the very human Brahms living in the walls is the responsible party for the shoes missing but why the shoes and not the bag or why not just let Greta know immediately he exists I guess Brahms plays the rule of ghost movies where one has to invoke some mundane Korea before elevating to the scarier that's hot I feel like this might be a line for the audience because it's been less than 10 minutes and I'm already bored and is our Sun bronzed look I'm sure the heelshires think this is normally thought to somehow not prepare your nanny for the kids dull features and then act like the nanny as the [ __ ] is downright absurd meanwhile dude who likes touching hot women scum could have told her about this instead of whatever that was he did in the kitchen but the power of boner has prevented it also there have got to be better ways to experience the UK than taking a job caring for Chucky during the mid transition of his real bullying operation await him at 7 o'clock each warning and you will dress him you'll find his clean clothes behind you why does she have to change his clothes the other rules make sense in that the real Brahms has to be able to hear the music get to the food later etc but what does he care what a doll is or isn't wearing you might say it's not important and maybe it isn't I want to know and I'm a dick who since movies so any of these books will do but you must read in a loud clear voice I don't care how serious the heelshires are I would still think this is a big elaborate practical joke if it's not a practical joke then your life is definitely in danger yeah welcome to one of the weirder logical issues of this movie the food that the real Brahms who is currently living in the walls has to eat in secret when Greta realizes doll Brahms is just a doll does she decide not to put food in here even though the very real Brahms needs it and if so how is he getting his food does Greta put food in here and not ask questions when it's gone if she doesn't put food in here then something has to be missing for the house that would cause her to say well someone is eating the food here right and yes later we see he has its own fridge behind the walls but one way or another the food issue should tip off Greta that something is up right man good thing there was an actual rat in there so they can pull off this rats of the wall charade for a little while longer - yeah he's very much with us do you understand my sentence yes the only correct answer is no I'm sorry who takes a job like this and doesn't demand answers how desperate is she for this job could you give us a moment alone to speak to Brahms privately sure and I will then walk toward you instead of away from you because I clearly don't understand what giving people privacy means he wants you miss Evans he's chosen you if you'll have him if they just had a conversation with the real Brahms then how did Greta not hear three voices she was standing right outside the door I hate to harp on this so much actually check that I'd love harping on this so much there have got to be hundreds of thousands of places he could have gone to get away and it wouldn't have involved something this can creepy enroll the Kol storyline adds nothing to the movie and just makes it a little more predictable when he eventually shows up couldn't she just be taking a really good job opportunity because she's desperate for money does this movie that already has a creepy killer in the walls really need the abusive ex-boyfriend thrown in what exactly is Greta thought process right now does she just assume mrs. heelshire created this mess and is pretending the doll did it kind of hard to feel for Greta when the movie presents her someone who is either insanely dumb or is willing to take advantage of what she thinks might be a mentally unstable elderly couple by hell would it take an hour and awake and dress Brahms oh you could creep me out it's perfectly reasonable that Greta would take this route once the heelshires leap but I do wonder why this doesn't make Brahms present himself earlier jiff oh I'm sorry I think it's pronounced gift I don't want to upset you peanut butter grammarians out there movie discovers its inner brown bunny by showing Greta getting peanut butter and jelly out of her luggage walking to the kitchen and making the sandwich and what seems like real time bringing wine with PB&J doll tossing also holy I just realized this doll looks like Jared Kushner sure sleep with an estimated six thousand candles burning all around you in a country home that looks like you could set it on fire just by saying the word I would like to see one horror movie character die in one of these movies in a fire started by all the needless candles they left lit while sleeping oh so I guess she was dreaming all those candles lit up in her bedroom and that's definitely the most important thing you should take out of that dream sequence also character dreams in a horror movie so there can be a cheap scare before the reel starts going down cliche we're about to find a small leak in the ceiling is causing this effect but what are the chances Greta would hear crying on the day it's raining and approach the dog the exact moment a drop had already fallen to create the tear effect what are you even the chances the water would be hitting the doll in that exact area of the face I'm guessing a percentage that is a little bit less than go pure self you know it's weird that the attic door won't open but who looks at an attic door and says honey the gugak spoiler need left I got a whole pack a chewing gum and a full tank of gas she's great at cinema sets ruin the surprise he's great at being an [ __ ] it was a fire Robb's didn't make it out it was all the candles wasn't it when it's a neat birthday where's all the birthday candles wasn't it also Brahms position he's seeing is we're employed by the same people you know it's a duty is what it is take no pleasure in it whatsoever man rupert evans and lauren cohan have genuine chemistry which is probably another reason this movie works better than it should but it's too bad it's wasted in a silly horror movie for the record i think it's stupid that grete brings her dress into the bathroom with her for basically no reason that can get wet and then you'll ruin your best dating dress but we all know that she does this so that the movie can make it look like Brahms is stealing while she's not looking this can template of pg-13 movie shower we'll pretend it's giving you all your mr. skin needs by showing you someone who might not be lauren cohan cleaning her thighs at least three different times grete can't seriously be contemplating going up into this attic after someone clearly went to the bathroom while she was taking a shower and took her clothes okay I guess she's probably stuck here but she doesn't even try to open the attic door once it closes even if pushing down on it could make you fall through the opening wouldn't you at least try to do something Malcolm doesn't wait very long he knocks on the door a couple times then looks around for a few seconds before rolling it's a big house she could be getting ready or just didn't hear the knock at the door back at Brahms open the attic door since Greta took the tool up with her on the previous night and if he had another way of doing it what took him so long there was something here I know it my clothes you know I used to sleep sleep off sleepwalk she was up in the attic all night whose Malcolm's theory that she sleep walked down the stairs through her clothes all over the room and then sleepwalk back to the Attic [Applause] sandy might be wrong about Malcolm but she does bring up the coral dress again which is gone along with a necklace she had on the sink and her room was ransacked those things happen there's no reasonable explanation why they happen and now beretta snuggled up in a bed with a magazine without a care in the world please tell me we didn't give him the address Tommy movie one is 10 year old Morgan have access to credit current address why would that be a thing you would either a make a ten-year-old memorize or be have hanging around somewhere for a kid to find you plan on writing her a bunch of letters how would she see a shadow walking right past an open doorway behind her but not see the person causing the shadow also it's time for a horror movie producer intervention can we be done with the passing by in the background trope is this something the market research says is what audiences need in their horror movies ok movie now you're just a no-good cheating piece of we're halfway through and this is the second jump-scare dream seriously movie music quit telling me when I should be scared and if you're going to do it pick something better than a doll sitting on a bed this woman was trapped in a goddamn attic by someone and is still chilling in the house like nothing happened if she's not scared why the should I be so how does this work exactly did Brahms cut the phone line just a few seconds ago and she was trying to use it but then reattached it to make this scary phone call and does this mean he has his own phone line why don't he have his own phone line and where is it is it in the walls to the walls isn't it someone needs to send Greta the book so that doll you've been neglecting is real it helped me through some tough times when I used to babysit Justin Bieber he too lived in the walls while I took care of his YouTube channel [Music] since Brahms is actually 33 why does he sound like he's eight and what if she was right by the door and decided to just open it right then the game would be up those real Brahms have a plan for that scenario or will he just hope she chooses to run to the ad I got her seeing it and since he's not there when she opens the door or how does he get away without grete hearing footsteps when I first got here mrs. Hill sure said the Brahms took my shoes and he was playful I thought she was joking but clearly never once again thought about where the shoes went after she found out braunfels a doll like a rational person would she's kinda just jump right into the Brahms didn't she she went from these people and their dollar and crazy to he's totally real and I should follow all the rules overnight you two can have the under voted affection and care from someone by simply making a PB&J this is something something the summary of the majority of the reviews of this film somehow made it into this movie disappearing they kept disappearing they kept like this has happened more than once it's potty incredible isn't it yeah it's almost like someone else is in the house maybe they should look into that before just assuming dolls are magical is it a go there's some sort of traps Barrett yeah yes Wow trick him he's already gotten to the acceptance phase of Brahms existence there's a guy back home that I wasn't all dress Col not a good guy man you were just starting to get interesting and then it's back to Cole no one gives up about Cole nothing like bringing up mom during sexy talk darn look I'm not judging but this relationship went from maybe to let's in the time it took for Malcolm to accept Brahms as a real boy I don't think they've even been on a date yet she's just getting out of an abusive relationship that she moved to goddamn England over just lost a child and her ex even knows where she lives and there's a creepy doll next door I can't imagine the psychological logistics it took to get her into dummy mode braum starts playing music real loud and stops the sex dead in its tracks cock-blocking Brahms is what they used to call him before he died in a fire oh who must've blacked out during that love scene [ __ ] Greta and Malcolm already have a kid and this relationship is going faster than the one and mother I guess it's possible that the real Brahms came out at night took turned all Brahms on his side but I don't know why not even sure why it bugs me but it does and I mean soap sinawe I shall I should have told you this before in my scale Brahms maybe killed a little girl on his birthday but I wanted to bang you so badly that I withheld that information truth is Malcolm mu B suddenly turns and does sleeping with the enemy also Cole's presence in this movie is even more irritating because it gives the film an easier choice of who to kill later it's a horror movie so there has to be at least one victim and prior to his entrance it would have to be Malcolm or Greta and there's no way the movie is killing either of them I'm gonna add 25 cents for the very concept of Cole I understand why you left I do great skip buddy skip skip and then after that let's skip and then skip and then maybe keep on skipping this movie up to now seems to be set up to give Cole his comeuppance and I'm totally down with that I really am it just feels manufactured to an unbelievable degree we haven't even gotten to the bottom of what Brahms is yet whether he's a psychotic killer or he's like Dexter or some but given the clues this movies about to make me root for a psychotic killer I'm not okay with that you're not leaving me Greta and I'm not letting you go no matter where you run off to he's fun this seems like way too serious of subject matter to have thrown in the last 15 minutes of a silly ghost doll / killer kid / mistery / thriller / horror film my slash allowances can used up Cole I got no room for you know did she just ask Brahms to kill her ex-boyfriend awesome since she has to keep her voice down so Cole can't hear her how could real Brahms hear her since it's pretty clear you have to be loud and pronounced this is you how the Browns reach this did this [ __ ] find a ladder climate draw get out in rats blood and the disposed of the ladder without Cole hearing him also I understand why Cole doesn't believe Brahms did this I'm watching this movie and even I can't believe it but how does he think the sweet Greta would slice open rats and draw this in blood wouldn't you blame Malcolm or a psychotic doll before you ever thought she could do this his Brahms also somehow superhuman because Cole is at least twice the size of him called a trickle if Brahms was a real boy running around in the walls of his house the whole time I don't understand why he chose to reveal himself to attack Cole only to continue being a psychotic [ __ ] once the job was done also this means the real Brahms risk giving away his surprise several times but just knew grete wouldn't look in his direction or simply open a door this also means some ridiculous logical leaps when Brahms the doll moved by himself and real Brahms managed to hide before Grenaa discovered him while there are a series of passages in this house there aren't secret doors to access them in every room seriously how strong is this guy look doll being alive was more believable he's been living in here how is she just now getting this yep problems has definitely been bringing that fake Greta I think he calls her persona non-grata the question for me is when was Brahms going to reveal himself if Cole never showed up there would never have been a reason for him to do it it's time for bed now nobody steals the ending of Friday the 13th Part two also this works put that down no that's okay I'll stop being a murderer now mom this movie he's so bad at now I'm going to have to resort to it Brahms really got screwed there Jo and in a sense for the movie making me think that and then forcing me to tell you fine people Malcolm is still alive and upset no one will be seated during the Greta still has to open the gate so that she can get the car off the property scene sure it's the end of the movie and they wouldn't seat you now anyway but it's also important and exciting in addition to being an abomination Brahms is excellent at piecing a porcelain doll that was dust back together who must have gotten some tips from that Toy Story do guy last shot of a horror movie is really stupid cliche told you to talk to her we do what you send her to the glue factory I didn't kill her Zach time to grocery boy don't errand boy and buy clothes which looks interesting teeth marks if the teeth marks and this gum match exactly with your teeth marks would you can say that the average person would believe that it was you to chew the gum it means we are in constant battle with the outside elements whether plants vermin especially vermin especially speak yeah it sure dies he's chosen you if you'll have him I promise I will never die Oh Oh Vince promise me you couldn't creep me out you're really creepy dude

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 1,613,925

Keywords: the boy, the boy 2, doll, horror, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, film, review, everything wrong with the boy, eww the boy, cinemasins the boy, movie review, the boy review, the boy reaction, horror movie, boy, the boy movie, wave jockey job, horror movie review, scary movie

Id: KcQXsdnyJsE

Length: 16min 38sec (998 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

This movie would have been better if it turned out to be a stealth Chucky sequel. Like The Boy takes off a wig to reveal a shock of red hair and overalls under his little suit, getting ready to play "Hide the Soul" with Brahms.