Everything Wrong With 2012

random planets the only way we'll know this guy is smart is if he has a well-worn famous philosophy book in his hands also glasses pop deep do we need to go 7,000 feet that's all over India for this thing used to be the deepest cup of mine in the world this rickety elevator travels 11,000 feet by the time dr. Satnam finishes one sentence the neutrinos are causing a physical reaction that's impossible sounds like it to me too unbelievable view of capitol building from hotel is unbelievable this is a black-tie event I agree that's a stupid rule but this news is so urgent that Adrian couldn't put on the proper attire before he got here black-tie event but no black-tie required as long as you have a jacket you need to read this sir you need to read it now guy who doesn't take this scientists seriously decides to look at the report because the scientists yelled at him there really was a g8 summit in 2010 and while it was in Canada it was in Huntsville Ontario come on Hollywood you made this movie after this event all he had to do was Google Danny Glover isn't too old for this scene mr. mock Arrancar wishes to have his interpreters present mr. president I can assure you your English is more than sufficient except in the areas where it's not I can't really know your English vocabulary but I'm sure it'll be fine also his translator is translating this sentence how can his English be good enough for any conversation if he can't even understand mr. president I could assure you your English is more than sufficient for what I have to say the world as we know it will soon come to an end well at least he's not being vague about things I sure I'm glad this movie keeps reminding us what year it is in every scene or else I would just think every scene is a new year and it be 2156 by the time the movies over oh I thought this was the da Vinci Code for a second is this again also this movie is only just now starting I'm a dead man it's so refreshing to see an irresponsible divorced dad in the movies I'm glad this guy's so messy that his own books are strewn across the floor in a manner that we can find out he's a writer Jackson Curtis isn't in a horror movie yet but he has all the cliches down after one minute of screen time Wow good thing Jackson is a limo driver these days or he'd have been for transportation discount white Morgan Freeman also end-of-the-world sign that normally doesn't mean anything takes on significant meaning now cliche man she seems so nice I hope she doesn't have a new boyfriend it was a douche bag no lipo on Fridays every night before she goes to sleep well at least it's known as m'a but can a kid just be a normal pink kid without having some issue that the hero has to worry about anything confounds the pressboard oh man apparently it's roughly the same time in Paris that it is in Washington DC right now if the car was supposed to explode why was there guy driving on the dudes tail this whole time why does the car blow up now and not earlier man I bet that older kid is playing video games has headphones on and hates this shit right now yep this happened in the middle of the night Washington time but the morning paper already has a story on it I just is she oblivious that the guy died while she was on the phone with him only a dozen people in this administration know what I'm about to tell you dad what's going on geez didn't you just hear him he said he was about to tell you worst father ever not only takes his kids inside restricted area in giant wilderness Park but then continues to just casually take in all the surroundings even while elk are boiling on the ground in front of him Wow Wow this isn't even a character they literally just filmed Woody Harrelson doing his typical daily routine and then used it for his part in the movie also the director said why don't eat a pickle it'll make you look even crazier this is unbelievable 2,700 degrees Celsius of 40,000 feet okay I guess that was cool with the Indian guy telling us they were 11,000 feet underground a minute ago but I am NOT okay with this continued use of feet measurement from scientists I mean I know many of us are dumb Americans but do we really need to know feet in this instance wouldn't 12,000 meters still sound deep enough let's get sky glasses a notepad a cane and two no three pens to make him look extra nerdy no one in the entire united states has ever brought up this military takeover of Yellowstone except the crazy Woody Harrelson guy mr. Jackson Curtis and by proxy John Cusack is apparently only 33 in 2012 did not by any chance the Jackson Curtis world farewell Atlantis I did they forget to tell cue Zack the camera was rolling he believed those people would behave so selflessly knowing that their own lives were at stake struggling authors book just happens to have themes that overlap with this movie how can this guy be shocked that the crossed destabilization is happening faster than expected especially after the revelation that his calculations were off just this morning the Mayans saw this coming thousands of years ago even in this movie it's a sin that a scientist believes in the Mayan calendar thank you my friend and good luck and now cute it's amazing mosquitoes survived for hundreds of millions of years with this signature buzzing that they do to give away their location why don't you download my blog I'm pretty sure you would never download a blog and I'm pretty sure even this crazy character would know that so this is where CGP grey got his inspiration of the planets in our solar system that only happens every six hundred and forty thousand years strange that scientists have never seen evidence of these cataclysmic events that happen every six hundred forty thousand years which isn't long when you're talking about Earth's age that's about seven hundred and nine thousand cataclysmic events in Earth's history if that's true orgy of evidence tells you this asshole loves pickles oh nobody could keep that big a secret Charlie tell that to the people hiding Tupac they're selling weed out for three no guys some Russian billionaires sure he's great that Charlie mentioned that Russian billionaire qualifier because Jackson just happens to know a Russian billionaire and this will be important later Kate picked up two good night's packages but when her pervy boyfriend suggests they should make a baby she has three of them parking lot begins tearing in half without any warning signs or sounds making their way into the interior of the store you gave up med school so you could have Noah and you practically raised him literally by yourself pointless exposition argument I don't know honey I just feel like there's something pulling us apart devastating cataclysmic earth event has a sense of humor also two people in the background one with headphones before the crack destroys the store and absolutely no one in the background in the next shot in fact it looks like the whole store evacuated in two seconds except for Kate and Gordon plus their shopping cart had way more in it before including those good nights but now it has three packages of Huggies in it Kate just downgraded her seven-year-old daughter to toddler status ringing the bell seems unnecessary considering that this chick is right behind the counter a tremendously huge chasm ripped through the busy grocery store and not one person got hurt or killed the magnetic fields have decreased by more than 80 percent in the last 48 hours are we to believe that once the president told all these countries back in 2010 about the catastrophe headed Earth's way that they all just left the updates to this one guy in the United States and didn't call on their own scientists year he hears his phone playing his day during the middle of a loud boxing match while getting pummeled in an intense fight this box are somehow notices his friend leaving the arena when we saw Yuri leaving the arena earlier it looked like he was leaving his girlfriend behind without a word and about to board the rich-people arc now it looks like she caught up to him they both had a good night's rest and they could easily have watched the rest of the boxing match without all the fucking drama also super convenience ensures that regular dad deadbeat author character we've spent so much time with was suddenly become close in proximity to the rest of the plot you see this is exactly why this bolt couldn't have been a secret for very long these bastard kids probably told everyone about this ship Jackson can pick up Charlie's backwoods Yellowstone radio broadcast all the way back in LA missed your plane yep yeah I want to rent it Jax it is never more than a hundred feet away from alternative transportation and just happens to have an expensive watch and a willing pilot to get this plane literal discount Arnold Schwarzenegger no house music at two non biblical movie has a character named Noah and just so happens to have arcs in it Helios literally make it out of danger at the very last second cliche okay I know this movie doesn't take itself too seriously but come on neither the characters are in a dire survival situation over there in the movie airplane which one is it instead of the much easier sidewalk charlie chooses the path through the front yards filled with treason and somehow it doesn't get completely stopped in his tracks through all that haha serves you right hilarious old ladies who didn't know any better this guy has never driven on le freeways altering this Matta skank we've seen inescapable damage right in front of them but Jackson keeps finding magic portals where there are no other cars and no other large-scale damage to keep driving without harm Theresa thought they were conveniently lucky a few seconds ago but damn now Jackson avoids a rainfall of cars on one side and a bridge of falling cars on the other side seriously you should have made about a billion dollars driving people through time and space with this limo this movie wants me to hate it right this entire escape deserves about 50 more sins any objections and a car scene was really ridiculous thank God we're back to something realistic the geologists quarterbacking the end of the world crisis from the back room in the White House well of course he can destruction continues to head directly for Jackson and his family as if it's personal I'll just see what the plane escaping the earthquake is exactly like that other scene with the car escaping the earthquake you know three minutes ago an experienced pilot eases this baby in the air under the least optimal conditions and it goes without a hitch Gordon unreasonably flies the plane through downtown LA so that we can see all the action movie friendly destruction Wow it's amazing what a couple flying lessons to teach you don't feel too bad for these people it's not like they didn't know they lived on a dangerous fault line [Music] song lyrics coordinate with the block dad is this Magnolia is every character related to some other character we've already seen in this movie are you out of your mind character can't just have a drink without breaking some sort of record sobriety streak Jackson unnecessarily takes Lily on this trip to find Charlie Kate here's the Charlie broadcast through the phone so clearly it sounds like a person talking in the trailer ah now we see why lily is here so she can impossibly locate Charlie on the top of the mountain at this distance while on the phone King Ron Wow let's see with the camper escaping the volcano is exactly like that other scenes with the plane escaping the earthquake you know 10 minutes ago shut up kid it's always following us movie tries to out ludicrous the ludicrous bus jump from speedy just because this movie is unrealistic and you're not taking it seriously does not make it fun when the average Joe does something so completely impossible that one wonders why the filmmakers even bother putting him in peril in the first place they actually set a standard for what speed Gordon needed to take off in the plane 85 knots which is 97 miles per hour or 158 km/h for all you men on dumb Americans out there there's no way the plane could be going a slow enough speed for Jackson to catch up to it and then accelerate to the speed it needs to take off in the amount of runway they have left either that or Jackson is currently running anywhere between 60 and 80 miles per hour right now and well fuck that she's fucking stronger than Ironman to be able to pull him up into a moving plane this plane escaping the volcano scene is exactly like that other camper escaping the volcano scene you know three minutes ago no we're gonna need a bigger plane movie thinks a casual Jaws reference will get it off the hook for all the other non John but it hasn't it have left the people in the streets desperately fighting for the last remaining resources is this a documentary playing on CNN right now who reports like this this is racist for both parties president's not coming he told only mean his geologist we had to monitor everybody who knew how do think we kept it a secret for so long so every scientist in the world learned about something sinister going on and kept it to themselves but announced that they were gonna say something about it so that the government could have time to kill them she's a patient what the girl who is coincidentally the girlfriend of the Russian guy John Cusack works for is also coincidentally a patient of the plastic surgeon Q's ex-wife is married to now [Music] does the air control tower care if any plane flies out of here I don't care they're people in the air control tower when huge plumes of black death are coming their way anyway this plane escaping the plumes of black dance is yes let's have a good laugh at the death and destruction we interrupt this action film to bring you seven years in Tibet well feels like seven years at least how did you meet Steve Goodman as you can see not the same way you did this is insulting to both parties please call me Adrian you should definitely go flirt with the president's daughter a few moments after she found out her dad was gonna die maybe says here's to people who ought to be in love and it was so the right phone lines continue to operate perfectly for our main characters while the world falls apart completely ah the heavy hand of symbolism to save some money filmmakers resort to using stock footage of regular everyday cruise ship disaster John F Kennedy destroyed the White House oh this is such a touching scene and I just realized they've been on this plane for 20 minutes of movie time that is an eternity it's like the whole world shifted by a thousand miles 1517 how do you know that if this bolts good earth crust displacement is messing up where everything is then how do you know exactly where you are and out of the foot we interrupt this apocalypse to bring you alive this time with kids I don't care that it's a life or death situation URI is not allowing Jackson to drive his new Bentley - car won't start scenes with two different cars in one movie tender sole luxury cars flying out of a plane while Jackson drives a Bentley on ice in child's play how does a plane running on fumes explode as soon as the nose hits ice this makes for an interesting shot but I'm pretty sure this would kill the giraffe in this kind of cold weather and this elephant got a billion euros well I've seen a plastic surgeon turn out to have piloting skills and you drove a limo through a falling glass building so yeah why doesn't someone have a billion euros on him right now and there are a ton of people who have billions of euros to throw around I guess you really wanted a shot at them walking with the burning plane in the background but bullshit on that right there here's the shot at the plane going over the cliff again please point out to me the footpath they would have taken to walk down this one thing discount a guy who throws around millions and billions of dollars is gonna flinch on an operation that cost at most ten grand come on I agree you're he's a bastard but that's not true when you know it and our gang is once again saved by what amounts to a mirage in the desert a monk and his truck random suffering in slow motion yeah but it would be all crowded and stuff working cellphone signal at this point in the movie is an undeniable middle finger to the audience from the director the floodings can hit earlier is that what you're telling me that why is it a big surprise that things are happening sooner than calculated these changes have been happening exponentially ever since at NAMM toll a drain and the neutrinos were going haywire back in 2009 every step of the way in this movie the changes have come sooner than expected a scientists seem to be nice guys but they are bad at science there isn't one person on this planet who realized the speed of all these things also they make Carl out to be the big politician asshole in this movie but given the information that he gets from the scientists which is constantly wrong it's hard not to agree with the asshole decisions he's had to make in this flick Kate just starts speaking English to this dude like she knows he speaks it why should I do that and to our amazement he does I don't know if you can understand what I'm say oh so you do consider that people might not speak your language from time to time and it sure is good they hooked up with the one truck driver who already had the whole sneak onto the Ark's thing planned out with this other dude my father were here he would open the gates well interested the dead president's daughter has spoken throw open the gates [Music] China and Japan agree open the gates impassioned plea from constantly wronged scientist gets top politicians to open the gates even though they only have 15 minutes to get the hell out of here but I will remind you that we have very limited resources and extremely limited time actually I kind of agree with the asshole character here look at this stupid group of people they're still pushing each other off the ledge over five minutes after the first of them reach the left do be easily solves that how do we get Jackson and Kate back together without Kate needing to make a tough choice problem they have cameras inside the hydraulics of the gate opening mechanism seriously our cameras locate dr. Helmsley in one second after the order was given and they're even able to zoom and enhance we're headed straight for the North Face of Mount Everest well of course you are and not only that but the Great Wall of China and Stonehenge also you mean the 1500 foot wall of water that washed into the mountains somehow formed a new ocean that is 29,000 feet deep how the could this ship possibly be floating at this altitude also shouldn't all you fuckers be having trouble breathing then I'm bummed out my husband died but it's really a nice fall back to have reconciled with my original husband so recently we interrupt this disaster movie to bring you Titanic a hero KITT Jackson and his son both died holding their breath too long underwater screaming yeah underwater cameras are everywhere people need them to be for any dramatic moment what an asshole I've been this whole time cliche oh you also it takes four digits to express the year one we worked it out somehow or another we all have relatives in Wisconsin the end haha what a terrible book but since Jackson wrote it what a great book also what she's sitting here reading the whole book to Adrian even after he's already read the book it's good no it isn't intercom cock-blocking the waters are receding much faster than we thought even when there's good news these scientists can't figure out the speed of anything yeah Gordon actually they're called good nights and you just lost your sponsor Columbia movie ends with the universal logo [Music] yes it's all in having the right touch [Music] 10 females to each male the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature [Music] let's be honest shaving sucks no one wants to do it but it's still necessary unless you work for Epic Meal Time but no one wants to get out of the store of a couple of weeks to buy expensive razors and blades I sure as hell don't that's why I go to dollarshaveclub.com slash sins Dollar Shave Club is an oasis of shaving gear in the desert of the internet for just a few bucks a month you can have a high-quality razors and replace my blades sent straight to your door they even have these one light charlie things those are for your butt this ain't your mama's razor and butt wipe company this is Dollar Shave Club in case you hadn't heard their blades are being awesome why are you telling me this I don't know what if I could want to know what look like a guy who needs to shave and clean his butt absolutely you know what okay fine dude what Oh have you never seen her not with a manual razor dude you're supposed to use the shave butter first oh thanks for the warning ass [Music] Oh No get down

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 20,656,113

Rating: 4.8409028 out of 5

Keywords: 2012 sins, 2012 review, cinemasins 2012, everything wrong with, everything wrong with 2012, 2012 mistakes, cinema sins, cinemasins, 2012 movie review, cinema sins 2012, 2012, wave jockey job, 2012 movie

Id: AohOD6F_rwA

Length: 20min 37sec (1237 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 25 2014