Everything Wrong With The Purge In 13 Minutes Or Less

[Music] Comcast 54 seconds of logos reading also president Hillary Clinton really turned that unemployment figure around didn't she amazing she signed off on the purge act that must have been some pork added by Senator Charles Manson discount beatitudes wait a minute it's the night of the purge and there's just some random dude checking his phone out in the open what a dumbass movie borrows its premise from a night of losing hockey in Vancouver I mean seriously some of these scenarios where people are getting murdered are ridiculous hey Bert tonight I'm gonna go get some work done at the office oops wrong move Tony from sales hates you clearly more people will be purging this year than ever before well there must be a lot of supermodels in the new founding father future nobody's bothering us tonight that's another thing how many people truly purge themselves by killing homeless people I know that's the movies point the powerless are being eradicated but mainly people want to kill that guy who cut them off in traffic or farted in the elevator but those people can probably afford good security systems Lena Headey isn't my fault sister in this scene awards for writing softball and gymnastics this is an orgy of evidence that perfect daughter is perfect also school uniforms that are this sexy are a sin against American society and men and women and everyone and my penis this boyfriend is not obviously up to no good because I've never seen a movie before for dramatic movie purposes this [ __ ] dragged has blade sharpening device all the way out into the middle of the backyard to sharpen this machete here Selena Gomez is rocking Times Square tonight son likes to look up his own mother skirt and I'm okay with that and I am NOT okay with that well you let him keep a chart baby doll with a camera in it I think creeping is the most minor thing your son does also this is apparently Sid from Toy Story only a much nicer kid child draws scary images in a horror movie cliche son has a secret hiding room because that will become important to the plot later someone's suddenly behind the open refrigerator door cliche ethan hawke went from no light at dinner and sinister to light everywhere in the purge hell there are five lamps just in this one angle yeah I mean all kids in movies they can't just be normal right asthma night terrors heart problems the kids are not alright is Hollywood just letting actual kids write the angry teenager dialog days is that what's going on here dormitorium movie tries to sneak this videos dumbed online in movie history by us with a little group laughter alright time for lockdown why didn't you just lockdown earlier were you expecting guests oh it's just a precaution okay so far this movie is the assault on precinct 13 remake without the cop stuff and that is not really a good thing I know she thinks she looks good but she's kept her school uniform on through dinner and is now going to wear it all night for the purge - wow you're just now locking down but clock showed us it was 655 and you came in here and watched your surveillance cameras check your guns anyone wanted to kill you you'd be dead already in fact why don't people take advantage of those precious minutes before the purge reficul e begins and after it officially ends unless you're out in the open getting caught by security cameras who would know if it happened during the purge or not the next day has to be like a holiday right how many people have to go to work the next day after a purge who could sleep during this I'd be a lot of dead people your workplace - and I am NOT coming in on a Saturday - play catch-up I have to admit an emergency broadcast bulletin is one of the cutest ways I've ever seen exposition jam down my throat I wanted to surprise you so nice so now we find out why they didn't just go to the lockdown right away because this [ __ ] needed to get into the house somehow seriously if you're in a world that allows the purge don't you lock down immediately for this very reason also how did he sneak in in addition to not locking down they just left doors and windows open and this Charlie kid needs to be purged someway somehow tonight I mean it's legal right what an [ __ ] this kid is the purge is the one night a year when people get that long-awaited release student before any major decision you have sex first that ensures at the very least you have sex before anything stupid happens to prevent you from having it also this dude thinks that killing her dad is gonna make everything okay what is this natural-born killers Jesus is all this movies exposition delivered by television also just no one ever do bad things for 364 days out of the year never because they get one killing Christmas and she really hates that wig doesn't she so here's this homeless dude I'd like to know how he ran away from people trying to kill him into this gated community and remember this neighborhood is kind of out of the way in the first place no movie you hold on damn these two have been discussing this before forever they were talking about it back when the mom was still working out and since then she's got a shower changed worried about violence with her husband the kids been snooping around and they are just now getting ready to come out and speak to the father well my boyfriend is about to go talk to my dad about us being together it's purge night time to listen to some tunes 26 minutes in I can safely say that this is the worst kid ever in film I'll somehow explain this to my dad after we're done choking on our own blood in the kitchen she's how big is this front yard anyway where's this [ __ ] been the whole time mr. Sandin I'd like to announce my presence before killing you I want to get enraged that the daughter just saw her boyfriend try to murder her dad but it's still trying to save the boyfriend but honestly I can kind of see her panties also the daughter just saw her boyfriend tried to murder her dad but is still trying to save the boyfriend with that man Ethan Hawke is the smartest character in this movie I can't believe I just said that here's a special game called Ethan Hawke never notices people behind him in horror movies I mean it's mr. boogie somewhere around here man these people are way behind the guy they want to kill how do they even know he's around here inside the room are you waiting for also just say there are people shooting guns and walking down the street they look angry what's with this mom this kid drives a charred baby camera around the house and is an [ __ ] spit it out Junior you need to see this cliche now Zoey just disappears in the house somehow never to be seen until the plant needs her again oh good Twilight characters no one's saying something Thanks several live near dear neighbors informed us they did not you [ __ ] you were walking up the street and seconds later you were on his lawn calling him out gone killing one of us when we attempted to execute him tonight you have like seven people in your group how did he kill one of you first and still get away the freaks got the power for no reason other than to make the house and this movie darker and cause unnecessary complications seriously why they do this also with the power out how can these freaks expect James to disarm the security system to let the homeless guy out so they can kill it come on Rebecca as monitors do things like this are not supposed to happen oh my god is this guy really the main character the protagonist I can't really relate to his money based racism or his wife's worrywart demeanor both kids are [ __ ] [ __ ] and stupid who am I supposed to be rooting for here we have guns how do you know didn't the polite leaders say the guy killed one of them was it with his bare hands did they sit around watching while the homeless dude choked the life out of one of their purge siblings jumpy noises are we sure this isn't sinister did Ian Hawke accidentally sign up for two movies after thinking he read the same single script twice what the is a plan here let's both go out separately with flashlights and leave our kid alone and unguarded honestly to be as good a Salesman as this guy's been made out to be you have to have some intelligence kissing condoms whoa this Ethan Hawke horror movie actually just turned into sinister here how big is this place you mean two people walking around the house can't see the flashing lights of the demonic camera car baby I'll follow you anywhere a remote-controlled Satan I really need to tell you something that you already know bad guys aren't bad guys unless they constantly insert insults into sentences no matter how clunky it makes them sound I just can't find him and that's all James says about the guy most people might remark it's dark in here this place is huge and he's hiding and could be dangerous why did you turn off the lights of course you are you went missing for 15 minutes of this movie for no other reason okay you can't do this cheaters you have well established that the daughter is a scream bot you can't then say she opened the secret chamber with a gun and was disarmed and subdued by a guy with a knife without one single scream or sound that the entire house would he and that's not even mentioning the Sun who decides that saving the homeless man is still more important than anything and worth creating a sister life for so he also doesn't scream or yell anything flashlight assistant Mexican standoff not a big fan of shaky cam but its way the hell better than whatever the [ __ ] this call lifted him up and get him outside because we need more time to reflect on this moral dilemma we have in front of us we could easily just drag him to the front door while he's unconscious and hurt but sure let's tie him up first what is the moral lesson here that people will turn into animals when other people break into their home and threaten to kill them that's not a terrible thing really is it are we really supposed to be feeling any moral quandary about the decision to sacrifice the homeless man and save their family cuz I'm not least you need to work on their communication skills that was obviously a stab and not a press on his wound and he's got dog tags I mean the guy is a former soldier check his pocket he's probably an organ donor too oh and look at this he also volunteers at the homeless shelter even though he too is homeless this is the first good thing we've seen our protagonists do this entire movie so much soda that feels completely unnatural and not earned know your business are you even in this family anymore we're gonna fight hell yeah this movies about to go home alone on your ass wait man this dude's head turned timing is either completely terrible or absolutely [ __ ] perfect after deciding to let him live and the two even coming to an agreement on the logic of the situation they still let this do tied up and didn't give him a gun to help kick ass at least assault on precinct 13 let the prisoners have a chance to help defend themselves seriously the way this house has been mapped out in the film who cares where the bad guys are we have no idea where the rooms are where they are in relation to each other the whole house is just a jangled mess of close-ups in the dark with no context whatever purging also requires dragging your victim to a special place so that someone can save him later Xzibit ur ex machina this house is either so huge the gunshots aren't heard throughout or these kill loving murderers are stupid for not all running to the sound of the gunshots in the basement so you're telling me not one person is hiding in the totally not findable secret hiding wall spawned in the boys bedroom phew see by the bad guy man I don't know her dad's got a thing about her dating older guys guy in the background definitely saw where dreams went when he walked in the kitchen but the science' stupidly walk in like he has no idea about anything even his own name also this is the first time ethan hawke has ever noticed a guy in the background in one of these movies getting his ass beat finds random hard object abash attackers head in with cliche how does this guy know to smash through this window and why do these bad guys keep coming one by one Wow okay so two cliches at work here at once the guy turns and steps into a stabbing cliche and the evil guy who just stabbed someone has excellent and gentle bedside manner after the deed cliche take your pick man the [ __ ] silently stalking her has been doing so since the very moment the home invasion began he obviously has no interest in killing that or the writer was just trying to play fast and loose so the action sequences could appear in the right order even though Mary was not making any noise this lady freak knew when to jump scare at the precise time or she was just jumping out of the room for the past five minutes and finally got lucky well I was unexpected not the ex machina part but the daughter part where did the gun happy neighbors go why could they systematically kill all the freak burgers except the main one what she was standing there and the dude didn't see her coming q for [ __ ] sake [Music] isn't that what you're gonna do anyway your barricades came down for to cleanse ourselves of her hatred it seems like if rich neighbors wanted to kill a slightly richer neighbor on a legal night to do so they could have found a way to do it that didn't rely on pure dumb luck purging also requires saying a blessing God will be pleased you didn't murder a family without ceremony the homeless guy found Charlie's RC burned peeping baby and decided I'll use this as a distraction first because my suprise entrance will be stupider that way did you enjoy Grace's purge party mr. Halverson female protagonist who once peace decides to needle her neighbors with one more minute of purge time left okay so she's dead right or if movies have taught me anything she's gonna wake up surrounded by people who want to learn her secrets before they kill her two remaining protagonists don't fall in love and live happily ever after that's hard for me to swallow it's fantastic [Music] look at me Mary this is our kids live here anybody tries to come in your blast them he will not hesitate I will not hesitate not for a second they're coming to take you this will not be over quickly they will not enjoy this I am Not sure you're in pain perhaps it's time to go home when you play the game of Thrones you win will you die there is no middle ground

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 14,808,393

Keywords: cinemasins the purge, everything wrong with, eww the purge, cinema sins, wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins the purge, eww, the purge, everything wrong with the purge, the purge review

Id: whr46paU4iY

Length: 13min 57sec (837 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 08 2014