Every Other Episode From 8 Out of 10 Cats Series 14! | Part 2 | 8 Out of 10 Cats | Banijay Comedy

foreign [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] boom baby it's ending then our team captain show unlocked now welcome your host Jenny [Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to 8 out of 10 cats to show about opinion polls surveys and statistics did you know for example 32 of Britain's age between 25 and 39 Live at home with their parents I guess that can be awkward sometimes for instance if you're a grown-up who's currently watching this with your parents why don't you all just take a moment to imagine each other having sex foreign only one percent of Brits don't own a TV you know what I call people like that anything I like they're not going to see this and 15 of men have never touched a vacuum cleaner I've never touched a vacuum cleaner in fact I have literally no idea how I got up there started [Applause] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our Palace job to get the bridge Public's top five most popular talking points John's team what do you think the nation have been talking about this week maybe BBC it's an extraordinary crisis isn't it it's a crazy thing that's happened it's just got to the point now it's impossible for them to regain their trust like for that to happen Stephen Fry would have to cure cancer live on Strictly you're right though according to a poll um faith in BBC journalism has dropped 44 although I don't know if you can trust that poll because it was conducted by the BBC trust in the BBC lost trust and elements says she Mrs BBC yeah I think I'll be honest with you I don't think anyone is questioning the bakery shows really that Flan's gonna rise like that just because of a bit of yeast no way probably you're up for the job of director General yes I've been uh I have been asked you must be on you must be on a list everyone's on a list I think you are you're right now aren't you Jimmy's gonna be treasurer this idea the BBC have lost trust if you compare it to say News International when they had uh phone hacking they did their own investigation and they completely covered it up for years to the point where it's it's caused the the Livingston inquiry whereas the BBC made a mistake and they went yeah we've made a mistake so I think this is a little bit of a Witch Hunt here against the BBC usually by forces that have other purposes on their mind what do you think of people murder Empire sack loads of people who don't do their job properly yeah the BBC fundamentals institution still works I mean Newsnight basically they were doing reports based on what was written on Bridges right well gibbo must be a nonsense thing is is that it doesn't help you solve the BBC because you turn it on it's the lead story in the news I've been listening to five live for the past two weeks and all they talk about is news night it's like fellas Put the gun down and step away the BBC is to stay broadcaster and in Britain there is such a hefty skepticism towards anything to do with state that the moment there is any shortcomings everyone just jumps at your opportunity and so then it is in a way Britain is the last Bastion of Communism in Europe [Applause] [Music] yeah the state is seen as the enemy I mean that is and it's all aspects of the BBC like then then like little things like they had oh Jeremy Paxman why did he have to fly in business class well he said because he had to get some work done so in Germany everyone would accept that yeah that's fair enough well same brain everyone goes well he's not going to do any work on them you know he's just going to eat peanuts and getting drunk foreign class everyone would have gone wait can they go on the couch he gone on the couch why does he take a bicycle no he walks in them expensive shoes Carnival George and whistle Georgio mussels who's in the job 54 days and he was given a full year's salary 450 000 pounds to leave David Miller said he had the leadership qualities of Winnie the Pooh a managing Tigger cannot be an easy job have you ever been in a meeting with him I'm very aware of what the wonderful thing about tickets are get this report finished and well there'll be plenty of time for bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fair enough to you know in any other period I made a bit of a mistake but when you come in in that environment and then your argument is oh they did a whole news night report on naming pedophiles and I didn't check it if I was director General the BBC I would know everything I would know who won Bargain Hunt every day it's going who is this Iggle piggle prick laughs and was left after 54 days yeah I mean it was in 54 days he can't stem any Authority on anything so a news night in a way they just acted like gambling edits didn't they they had like the heads of winning lottery ticket that was the several story that was the winning lottery ticket but they lost it in the wash so they remortgaged the house and bought scratch cards oh I don't I don't get the difference right but I do now I've realized when you resign you get paid when I went to B and Q I got sat for building an A-Team style tank out of company materials [Laughter] stupidly stuck around until they gave me my marching orders I should have resigned a shot of hole in the wall and off didn't I just kept building he's touched on Sunday which I really wanted to talk about really yes yes yeah it was where Philip Schofield would be working so because I'm really surprised he hasn't had more crap from this because that that that bit what he basically handed the Prime Minister a list of names of pedophiles not only did he start up staff well partially start with his Witch Hunt he made the Prime Minister look good yeah so look really together didn't he what was the Prime Minister doing on ITV where is he on next like Nuts magazine TV the worst thing is I was watching Philips club and I agree with you I thought he looked ridiculous like oh I found this in three minutes that's what Philips Garfield did imagine what Richard madeley would have done he would have been dressed as Jimmy salvago and I've written a list on mine now listen let's have a look and see whether the crisis of the BBC is one of the most talked about things over the last week [Music] [Applause] yes the BBC is in crisis I think the BBC will be all right they've still got Brucie although it has been cold last Friday all the top BBC stars did their bit for children in need Freddie Starr stayed at home and Jimmy Savile remain dead all right Sean what else did the nation be talking about this week is it the fact that Abu qatada like Peter Andre won't be going back to Jordan [Applause] [Music] but that's the real tragedy when will she find love but on another matter yes we can't get rid of Abu Katana you can't push him on a plane you can't drag him onto a boat I forget what you do with pervins and just send them on a coach holiday then you can send them away forever hello Abigail guitar Hall's coach trip can you imagine oh well there's still a turn apparently suspected Paradise we put him at the back he'll be fine give him some sandwiches they're kind of fizzy popular is it true it's gonna cost five million pounds five million pounds that's a year that's a whole year to people in the country so that's non-reasonable uh yes a hundred thousand pounds a week because apparently he's watched by 60 police officers yeah and there's cameras and microphones all over his house 60 60 then they get in the way of each other well I think they're on what's he doing running around like a lunately as he runs around loads so it costs more money just because you're going I can't see me now there we go where is he where the is he he's been filmed all the time in his house now technically we own that footage because we're paying for it now he's going to fall over he's going to stub his toe you should have a one weekly highlight package abu's been framed that's what I'm pitching at us and he's going to be pretty sexually frustrated I imagine if you've got cameras all over your house like wheat ones just see him getting a bit annoyed and week two is showers are getting a little bit longer and by week three he's just locking down the lens going it's happening now if you want but this is going to finish very angrily little Glimpse there into John's world countada he gets a lot of unfair press here in the country right it's always described as The Nightmare Neighbor how can that man be a nightmare neighbor I mean he's not allowed to leave the house he's not allowed to have visitors the police is always on the doorstep it's an absolutely brilliant neighbor if you've got a parcel coming you can say leave it at Abu all right you're guaranteed for all of you how many people won't do that for him though yeah I'll have one of our boots okay let's see if Abu Katana getting released is one of the most talked about things [Music] [Applause] [Music] he's from prison the Abu Qatar Rao has blown up over nothing as have a lot of Abu qatar's friends uh John's team what else does the name should be talking about there's a new leader of China and therefore the world called Xi Jinping who um has been touted as their sinai's very informal leader and I don't know how you be an informal leader of the country that kills three times more people than anyone else in the world I mean you want to do it with a smile on your face anyway guys um seriously get back to work or I'll kill you all oh my god I've got a tie on but I will kill you I'll shoot you security during the week-long Congress includes they banned kites oh and they stop taxi passengers from rolling down their Windows did they ban the feral mouth fan sellers of Shanghai you go to this main Square in Shanghai and there's thousands of fan sellers they sell these exquisitely decorated fans beautiful fans but when you actually ask to buy a family look at them these the fan sellers are notoriously rude and they just go what are you looking at they just say if you want to buy a phone buy a fan otherwise off yeah yeah this is from the Congress last week one of the Chinese delegates was photographed yawning during the president's speech and take a look just like to send condolences to his family and you don't know if he's somewhere from West China it was probably 14 days on the back of a rickshaw to get there found out in China they said what on a rickshaw who is paying for that could we walked but last week China underwent a once in a decade transfer of political power China has really changed it no longer has an autocratic ruthless militaristic leader called hujin Tao it's now governed by an autocratic ruthless militaristic leader called Xi Jinping information we're talking about from a sporting perspective it's got to be the Fantastic Swedish goal uh scored by Ibrahimovic against England but another head kick it's phenomenal I thought it was over was okay let's have a look at this incredible goal foreign [Applause] what's the favorite German God anyone we've scored in a World Cup final their favorite goal is getting hold of Poland all proudest off because I imagine that'll be for the rest of his life that'll be the moment he's most proud of for me genuinely yeah you really want to know yeah one time I told the builders to off with a quart one time you a bill day came around with the court and I had just opened the door I was in the early stages of pissing myself it's gonna be about one just off he's the funniest phrase yeah why did you open the door then oh because he went because like no I actually thought he might have a good quote and I wouldn't mind pissing myself I actually squeezed the enemy penis and run to the toilet [Music] well I can tell you it's not out there Striker uh Zlatan Ibrahimovic has scored the greatest goal ever against England this is the most amazing football feat since John Terry managed to persuade a jury that he's not a racist three more things to get what do you think the I'm a celebrity thing isn't it it was it was an incredible thing this week one of the tasks was one of the girls had to eat an ostrich anus I must have tested like she is but then the next task she had to go into an enclosed space with a live ostrich and not exhale because if a live ostrich smells its partner's anus on your breath you are going to get pecked to death the people I think I really I can't bear on it now is out and deck because they're like it's gone on now they just laugh they're like Gaddafi's Sons [Music] they're more torture there's a woman in a coffin having insects crawling over her face they're just going can't Tire of watching people go this just doesn't get boring yeah but it's all the stuff in between when people say thank god oh I miss my family I don't they throw things I mean you would be incredible on the show if you would do they offer it to you every year and every year I happen to be in a supermarket where I can buy stuff and I don't have to beg for it you know when you're doing your shopping to go would you like to do um a celebrity get me out of here or any of them and you're going yeah but you see I'm here and I've got nine twixes and I don't have to do a task in the room would you would you go on absolutely no way I like my personal space do you mean I don't want all these people around me all the time getting on my nerves having to eat anuses and Willies that's just not my thing oh it's a shame let's see if I'm celebrity is out there [Music] okay yes I'm a celebrity continues I'm not saying the celebrities this year are unknown but they were asked to turn up with a utility bill and two other forms of ID previous winners include Joe Pasquale Phil tophnall Tony Blackburn and Christopher Biggins and if you want to see all those winners together head to the Marlow theater in Canterbury for Puss in Boots okay fingers what do you think uh is it's the story about Friday and Mean Mr Right Frankie Satori it's a story about Frankie tutori Funtime Frankie and there's the rumors that he will be soon charged for uh cocaine in the French uh some French race meeting yes he's uh he's certainly been accused of taking cocaine he uh Frankie has not admitted taking cocaine as yet I'm not a big horse racing fan I don't really like it as far as I'm concerned it's just an excuse to give Short People jobs why don't jockeys ever do panto it's weird isn't it do you think they had an agreement with the dwarves match up in a car park late at night with weapons I had like clubs and knives and spanners and they went okay okay you don't ride horses we won't do panto [Laughter] an agreement what am I gonna take a look at caught doing drugs there's loads of people do drugs and they just do drugs but then when celebrities and special athletes get caught they describe it as a moment of Madness it wasn't a moment of Madness when you decided you wanted some cocaine you went and bought some cocaine and then you did the cocaine I'll show you a moment among this if you want to see a mountain I don't want to be in the papers for killing you I'm trying to eat your hair Lauren what do you think of Frankie tutorial I mean do you think it's ever acceptable for sportsmen to take recreational drugs no of course not I know I know who does it to stay Slim it's not a performance enhancing though is it yeah really if you're lighter I love the way you've explained that because now I know why I was never a jockey that was the rspca Johnny stop that cocaine that Maradona took [Laughter] [Applause] came with a cocaine belly you know maradona's problem was he wasn't taking pure cocaine he was cutting it with utterly buttery yeah if you'd have cut it with Flora which is 95 less saturated than Olive Oil it wouldn't have had that problem okay let's see if Frankie tutori is one of the most talked about things [Music] Frankie dettori has failed a drug test they first suspected he may have taken cocaine when he won the 320 absom without a horse okay one more thing to get fingers on buzzers John what do you think well I imagine it's the News That's rocking teenage boys everywhere um and it's the release of the new Call of Duty computer game there's a girl at the door would you say you say teenage boys but this this last year the games Market in the UK was worth 1.92 billion pounds Hugh don't bother now like four days camping out would you ever camp out for four days and again yeah what would you camp out four days for brain trainer four days if I was going camping I read a sentence like oh the great thing about this game is you can live stream multiplayer games in real time to YouTube it took me longer to understand that sentence than it will for them to complete the whole game well that basically implies is that you could watch other people playing a computer game online people are actually going to log on I got what you're doing I'm watching a Peruvian kid play a Russian kid at a shooting game I'm leaving you funny things also got Nazi zombies in it apparently it's got Nazi zombies yeah so and I'm not sure where they come in and how they come in I mean I mean if something's risen from the grave and he's about to eat my brain I don't really care about their ideology foreign [Applause] [Music] and he didn't speak any English throughout the whole contest it was me versus him he beat me nine nil nine nil and all the way through he's talking Japanese and at the end when I said well thank you very much I got a well and truly deserve spanking and he just said hey Mr English you oh let's have a look and see if it's up there [Music] [Applause] [Music] has been released Call of Duty Black Ops 2 is the most exciting futuristic slick engrossing brutal Hollywood produced reason you're still a virgin at 30 ever so those were the most this week but in other news the CIA has been rocked by revelations that its Chief General Petraeus had an affair General Petraeus was portrayed by private emails private emails is now facing Court martial this is the most disappointing thing to happen in the American Espionage Community since Brody's wife stopped getting a knocks out in Homeland the Church of England have announced the bishop of Durham is to become the new Archbishop of Canterbury he's made up as is his religion foreign so at the end of that Sean Henning and Vernon have two points John Lorraine and Johnny have three points [Applause] [Music] our next round is pick of the pole Sean Henning Vernon your turn first what would you fancy Henning come on the blog here in the top left hand corner okay so the old man covering his ears okay here's your relayed question most British people judge others by their accent true or false what do you think honey do you think people judge you because you've got a bit of an ax don't you I've gone a bit of an accident there is a certain degree of judgment I've recently did a gig up in Bolton and I got heck with a wonderful line off back to London [Applause] ten years of listening to Chas and day finally paid off sure what do you think do you think British people judge others on their accent oh well I mean I judge people long before they've opened their mouths takes a lot of time straight in there yeah yeah but I think it's interesting because yeah everybody you know there's there's a bit there's a sort of what's the word a contingency in your voice and it moves around and it can you can change settings but the only really way you know how someone speaks is when they sneeze and that's their true the true voice you can't put on a sneeze I was walking down the street and I lived in East London and um there was this old Cockney walking along in front of me like this and then he was building up to a sneeze and he actually went hey [Laughter] hey that's that's a cockney sneeze you couldn't put that up that's a natural that's a natural noise my wife does a child with things she doesn't give you any warning she's no she just goes nothing no warning just in there shots Johnny do you think anyone ever judges you by your accent yeah of course it is not your accent Johnny it's the bollocks you talk foreign [Applause] vowels that I miss out there's whole words you miss you are like suddenly Jimmy when I run over you later John 81 of people admit changing their voice depending on who they're talking to you do you do that you change your answer oh James I acquire accents quite quickly and if I do gigs if I go to a town I instantly start thinking in the voice of where I am does that not sound like you're taking the piss though exactly because I've been doing gigs in Newcastle and you sort of go to a club after you go out cheers mate and say oh the you tell me well I can't have no good accents if I can do them if I've got key phrases so if I'm trying to do scouse if I'm trying to do a liberal X and I have to say I want some chicken I can do Belfast but only if I say ginger and community all right so what do you mean let's get some odds on this most Brits judge people by their acts and trophos what do you think Sean True You're Gonna Go true what are you gonna say John true I can tell you the answer is false only 25 of Brits say they judge people by their accents over Generations our actions become hardwired into our brains for example Chinese people find it difficult to pronounce ours Germans struggle with W's and girls from Essex find it almost impossible to say no okay uh John what do you like to look off so you have the the gas saw the waiter the waiter okay you come for the waiter we asked our studio audience what do you prefer home cooking or fancy restaurants what are you saying I watch your shows but I don't bake muffins that's all I'm saying I've done one lots of people he cuts my recipes I've made of recipes what is that and they're lovely I mean the thing is the same thing is about fancy restaurants anymore is it people don't really like fancy restaurants they want some like nice home cooking or just a little like a steakhouse or something okay John what's your how do you cook at home how do you prepare a meal oh you spend your afternoon with a little bottle of wine doing your prep don't you get it all in your little bowls and your jars so you really you spend the whole day cooking it absolutely and don't have people around either they'll ruin it I'm in the best pastel going I should have it in jars in restaurants he was very proud he's talking about this pesto we cooked and he's very proud of his pesto give him another fish you'll eat for a day six months to make pesto it'll end up with a massive company difference for some people like you know who eat at KFC go to Nando's he's like oh those is basically KFC for people who can use a knife and fork well we also audience what do you prefer home cooking or fancy restaurants what are you going to go for John what would you home cooking home cooking you think home cooking and you can ensuring you're going to go for restaurants restaurants okay well I can tell you uh 64 of our studio audience Preferred Home Cooking to restaurants [Music] I still like my roast chicken exactly the way my mom served it in a furious silence after a huge argument with my dad so at the end of that round it's three points to Sean's team four points for John's team after the break [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome back to 8 hour 10 cats and the winner is is the name of our final round and here is your question worst thing about guests staying overnight the worst thing about guests staying overnight is with me that when in the morning they expect this big fry up right they want bacon eggs or how it works because that's the thing I'm gonna cook all the time but for me I'm like Shreddies milk then sling it because when you wake up at breakfast and they're in the kitchen already anything they're like yeah well I vaulted that [Applause] oh God I love it guests my house is just open house it's just I have constantly have at least four pianists staying in my house just to keep them it's like New Orleans that's great it's just I'm just cooking and thinking yeah trouble is it's persuading them to stay but you are always exhausted after around yeah yeah because I mean whenever I've got guests however you always there is 10 degree of exhaustion because you feel that degree of responsibility also you're not sure in your own house you've lost track of what is considered tidy and what is not tidy yeah well there might be a broken window but as long as the pigeons don't fly in that's all right because John do you ever have people say over sometimes yeah I mean well the worst thing is knowing that you're looking after them better than they look after you you have to give them clean bedding and I put a bed out and I'll cook them breakfast then you go around their house and they open up some cupboard and pull out this sticky horrible sleeping bag that they've had for 15 years and every rank mate they've ever had to come around yeah we just seal them up in this at night so they're sweat and their feet really and then they just pull it out for you and go why don't we just share bath water and you know across the toilet either and then when they come around mine I do them a little duvet and a little put the bed out in a clean pillow and then just sometimes think oh sod off don't even bother coming round and then they're leaving I think oh actually I wish they'd stayed I mean I imagine Johnny you're pretty much a perfect housegirl I I can say he really is my worst thing about people staying over he's pointing out that your house is not a house it's an abandoned school and you're a squatter Connie's family were on family fortune and they won uh a Jacuzzi so I would imagine that if you're a guest at Johnny's house you can nip next door my brother won the jacuzzi but he's still living with my mum and dad oh really so it wasn't a big bonus no he sold it [Laughter] logic [Applause] the thing is the dimensions of the jacuzzi were exactly the same as Johnny's brother's backyard in his backyard it was his parents and you gave him a Jacuzzi what what hotel is a man that is going nowhere to selling and when we sold it and he got the money he got really drunk he had two fights in the pack [Laughter] and he bought me a coat which meant I couldn't vote in the Chinese elections [Applause] never had a headache on exactly half of my head before foreign thing about guests staying overnight the other thing is when you stay at someone's house and they don't tell you straight away what the weird things about their house are just say you cannot flush the toilet unless you stand on that floorboard and sing Oklahoma because otherwise you're in there at three o'clock in the morning still trying you know they can hear you they urge you the first time when it didn't quite flush if it didn't come out they just left you in there all night pulling the thing and all right to wait a little bit longer but now it's empty again I've got to stand in here for 20 more freaking minutes trying to flush this piss away when I had an half an hour debate whether it was Ruder to leave the piss in but not wake him up with a flush and now fold the flush you asked the question quite fastidious I imagine you don't like people using your stuff I don't mind them when I give them stuff don't help yourself to stuff I mean make yourself at home that's a cliche isn't it you say it but you don't mean it all right so make yourself at home and someone starts making themselves a cup of tea you think what are you doing yeah I'm at cupboards that's not where the tea is kept right I'll make you a cup of tea when I said make yourself arm I meant sit down and shut up is it the um the mess that's basically it yeah clearing up after them I'll give you that yeah [Applause] [Music] is cleaning up after them everyone's welcome at my house as long as they take their shoes off at the front door and then put them straight back on and off well that sound tells me at the end of the round and the end of the show which means the final scores are Sean Henning and Vernon have four points John Lorraine and Johnny have four points is the Dead Heat everyone's a winner for all of you for watching at home that's it from us good night [Applause] [Music] thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] and their team captain John Richardson and facing them tonight acting tough It's Stephen Graham Bobcat it's Catherine Ryan and 13 Captain Sean Rock now welcome your host Jimmy recall [Music] hello and welcome to edit of 10 cancer shoulder but opinion polls surveys and statistics did you know for example over 1.6 million britons still live at home with their parents and we call those people children us giraffes up to an hour to have sex but most of that is necking 65 of people think Britain is a great place to live and that's a survey of people hanging onto the undercarriage of the Eurostar all right [Applause] let's go [Applause] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our panelists job to get the British Public's top five most talked about stories from the last year um Sean Stephen Catherine what do you think the nation will be talking about over the last year what's what's the most important thing the Olympics yes perhaps the Olympics it's pretty huge it was a very successful Olympics but for me almost it was too successful I've got some Ferry now because we're badly Wiggins he also won the Tour de France and he marries finally won something you know it's like we're too good at sport about yeah well it's just not you know not comfortable with that level of success and sense of Pride and and celebration it's just doesn't I don't like it then wasn't it when the when the old opening ceremony started that it was actually quite good procession at the Olympics because they do it in alphabetical order because Iraq Iran Ireland Israel that is a tough gig for the Irish no wonder they've developed a sense of humor in Ireland that is a tough tunnel I know just calm down a minute and just the way the floor just look straight ahead and not talk for five minutes I don't know if you saw the uh obviously they did the the relay with the torch before it all kicked off and then they rang Bells did you see this they rang Bells all around the country just sort of Mark the start of it and Jeremy Hunt kicked it off here he is yeah health and safety yeah you're okay how many men can genuinely get to say they've said to a woman could you pass me my bell and it's just on the floor [Music] what did you watch the Olympics did you I watched some of it I was away on holiday so I think a lot of people did go away a lot of people left London got out because it was like beforehand everyone was so negative everyone thought this is going to be a disaster and then it turned out it was fine my wife still cry about it from the Olympics she's not stopped crying I'm hoping it will stop at some point with water I'm just dehydrated there I'd find it I find obviously it has to be said and I don't like saying because everyone likes me it's a really nice bloke but the mo box is isn't it it's rubbish that Usain Bolt thing is brilliant super cool that is just oh let's let's have a look let's have a look this is this is Mo it's rubbish crap someone who doesn't know how to do a teapot it's embarrassing me like those are the balls and then he's the big shaft revolved big balls let's have a look and see if the Olympics is up there yes London hosted the Olympics in 2012. the Olympics may be over but we'll never forget the volunteers and all the hard work they did for free not with the way they keep going on about it what do you think the nation of you talking about over the last year well who could forget the wonderful weekend when the economy contracted by six billion pounds uh or the Diamond Jubilee as it was called oh I had a good look at an old woman she didn't smile once I quite enjoyed the Jubilee this is what you had to be careful with you know because you started talking to people reasonably and saying if you've all seen this on the TV and like what sort of video goes to moisture flotilla and they sort of go we were there actually we've got there we got there two days earlier we camped out and you have to backtrack and go hey yes because I tell you who didn't really get into it I said he was about as big a fan as John is it was Eamonn Holmes have a look at his coverage of the flotilla you see the thing is we could we could give you all the false bonomir we can tell you the truth if you're looking to hear like today truthfully you're going to have to be dedicated to be here today I mean it's not just wet today it's not just cold it is abysmally wet and cold you know all these people are so very very happy it is unbelievable I just push a few of these boats when I put the foot down like come on very nice but let's just get a bit of speed up here that is wet it is windy it is dark it is dying you're a Canadian aren't you she's your queen as well she's on all my money so how do you feel about the queen I love the queen I got a lot of time for the queen she has a down ass chick I I really like her I think she's really really lovely I think you're having a breakdown see now I turned 40 four years ago um I was gonna say recently it wasn't four years ago I yes I've turned something's weird's gone it's fine though I'm at ease with it it's all right it's everything very happy you know very very happy all the Queen the queen knows it all she can do it all the queen sent an email in 1976. David Cameron just got Twitter like a month ago and has fewer followers than Jody Marsh two right I really really really enjoyed the Jubilee but what I had I had um I had dealy Boppers I made cakes I had bunting I had a wicker hamper this is not the actions of a happy person come to my party I've made a cake laughter enjoy it it's a pleasure I really enjoyed it let's have a look and see if it's up there yes the queen celebrated her Diamond Jubilee in 2012. the queen got silver for her Silver Jubilee and diamonds for her Diamond Jubilee I think we all know what she's getting for our next Jubilee a coffin so Jen you've gone too far with that cheers she's never gonna die foreign crisis at the BBC yes crisis at the BBC tell me more well we all know that there's been a crisis at the BBC and it's been in crisis for some time this crisis is a continuing crisis so I mean news now we're in crisis initially they failed to report on Jimmy Savile and then they reported that Lord McAlpine was a pedophile when he wasn't um news night George Entwistle 40 54 days in the job as director General yeah he hadn't even found the toilets for how long 54 days that's a lot of money in it yeah for 54 days that's not bad going the BBC had to give Lord McAlpine uh 185 000 pounds as an apology they should just introduce a not a pedophile bonus at the BBC maybe like an incentive skill yeah look what I need to know is who out of all of our beloved 70s icons children presenters who was clean because everything even like you look at sutty now you think we Sue always had two black eyes sweet full name would sweep it under the carpet and that rainbow house they could shut him up because of what Bungalow done well there's all there's lots of rumors about different presenters but there's one person I know is not involved in any of it at all it can't be it's John Craven because he's a country file [Applause] [Music] there is literally point to be made about how times change and it's about perspective and uh and in the 70s there was a thing called wandering hand trouble yeah I always got a case of wandering pen trouble it's almost like he had the flu or something just occasionally he goes illness basically Jim will fix it was his way of saying sorry beautiful let's have a look and see if it's out there [Music] yes the BBC was rocked in 2012 by revelations that Jimmy Savile was a pedophile and Lord McAlpine wasn't the Savile Scandal is obviously terrible but on the upside I'm not going to be the worst Jimmy this year [Applause] after the break [Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome back to AR-10 cats we're trying to guess the most talked about things over the last year okay John's team what else are the notion we talked about over the last year uh um it's not a seance man what position we talk about over the last year okay it just really hurt my head should be talking about over the last year uh well it can't all be fun can it the levers and the uh that's good it costs millions of pounds and took a year and his conclusion was hey keep an eye on them one of his comments was like a Yoda thing he said who should guard the Guardians not no one commissioned Yoda who should look after him not no one uh possibly someone then or is he more like a garlic he does hang on here [Laughter] [Applause] that's all right he might as well have come out on the stats and just said instead of having go at the press in any way you should have just said celebrities Royals behave yourselves yeah and that way it is said we don't even need to report on you none of this would have happened [Applause] I look forward to reading about it in the papers [Laughter] [Applause] can I just confirm that I will not be pulling your finger at any stage that's okay that's my favorite thing that's ever happened while I've been on the show I mean one of the recommendations he made was more Gaviscon for celebrities Mel's about to make a serious Point go away brace yourself what I want to know is though it happened to so many people this hacking business has to be quite easy to do so how do you hack someone's Pub how's he doing amazing how do you do how do you do it my dad used to hack into Michael's back in the 1970s by lifting the receiver on the other phone in the house with his talons Griffin on the trim phone in the hall and my I'd be going you're trying to be on his perch [Laughter] receiver and on the beige phone upstairs and say look get off the phone now you've been on it for 60 minutes you saw your pals at school why do you need to speak to them after school I would go look Dad I'm just having a little chat that was hacking but no what the point I'm making is so many people loads of Ruddy people have been hacked how do you do it I don't want to do it myself but how do you do it I don't know [Applause] okay I can tell you it's not one of the most talked about things but yes the Levinson inquiry was all over the papers after thousands of hours hundreds of witnesses and millions of pounds the Levinson inquiry came to one inescapable conclusion Piers Morgan [Applause] [Music] [Applause] okay fingers on buzzers two more to get Sean is it the Jimmy Carr tax scandal on this show it definitely would be no not generally um it's the the guy who jumps from space Oh Felix Baumgardner amazing thing he he was on the very very edge of space and he he parachuted all the way to was it 26 miles 23 miles 23. pretty impressive it's impressive it's not the most extreme thing an austrian's ever done though is it all he did was [Applause] the animals that they tried with first but you don't just do that dude I went outside my house weeks ago and uh there was a little cat I thought it'd been run over and I went over a little red pole backpack on a pair of goggles on it like that [Applause] it's one of the interesting things he is getting married imagine the job of organizing his stag do we're going paintballing and he goes paintballing I want to go the bloody center of the Earth okay let's have a look and see if it's up there well done yes Daredevil Felix found on became the first human to break the sound barrier after free falling from the edge of space Red Bull back some incredibly dangerous challenges their next project will be to sponsor John Terry to ride a float through the Notting Hill Carnival [Applause] [Music] is definitely a big thing it's Kate Middleton the way they wrote it up in the French paper was like uh Kate was offering her breasts today sunshine so what's worse her being photographed from the street topless in the south of France or Harry in a private hotel room in Vegas what's worse is that he did it plain strip Billiards what an nobody plays Billiards I like a bit of strip for plunk don't get me wrong that's a good guess kind of all on off strip Mass track is the crazy one strip test cricket [Laughter] I think I think the Royal nudies should be celebrated I think they should bring out some commemorative stamps norks nudges nips and nunus you can collect the whole set if you've got Ginger nuts though you've got a knowledge in there what do you make about the world do you like them I've seen them in a pub and we're just having a pleasant drink and you could see them and I was like were they roped off in any way no not even just he was surrounded by a couple of bodyguards and a few a few young people having a nice time and then I just did watch me do the crab Prince William on my mother's life may God strike me down now just bust into the crab [Applause] Instagram they need bodyguards all the time Prince Harry's like a toddler isn't he he's like playing soldiers and then you turn around he's got no pants on running around like oh look he thinks he's a Nazi get the camera he'll sleep tonight hahaha let's have a look if Royal news is up there [Music] [Applause] [Music] the Royals were photographed in several compromising positions in 2012 naked photos of Prince Harry were published following his trip to Vegas you know what they say what happens in Vegas stays in Pages three four five six and seven of the Sun so those were the most talked about things over the past year but in other news in May Andy Murray won his first grand slam the Scots haven't celebrated that hard since discovering you could get drunk on hand sanitizer and I hear the headlines in June when I got the message the papers had been calling I jumped into action started hitting my laptop with a hammer and digging up the patio and then I found out something about tax [Applause] so the end of that round Sean Catherine and Steven have three points John Mel and Mickey have two points [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome back to editor 10 cats our next round is pick of the polls Sean Catherine and Stephen your turn first what do you like the look of well I think we have to pick the picture of Stephen here okay so that's you playing uh Al Capone there in Boardwalk Empire how did you get the part because there are actors in Chicago I know it's weird to be honest with you yet I've done a film a few years ago called um going to New York Gangs of New York yeah with Martin Scorsese and he said I'll work with you again one day so I was like you know you can't say that to me and not do it and one day I was in the house being a message just having a cup of tea and the farm went and I was like Hello Kitty and I was like yeah I'm okay I'm okay uh oh are you working I went no I'm not busy at the minute okay I'm gonna play Al Capone I went okay well even yeah yeah you want to do it and I was like yeah okay I've seen a few weeks and I went and the message went what was that I think he wants me to play Al Capone he's one of it's one I mean he's such a you know it's such a tough guy character here's your related uh question most women are more attracted to a geek than a tough guy true or false what do you think Catherine I think we want the same thing men wants like a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets I want like a lady in the streets you don't even know what you want men I think you've just nailed exactly what I want I'm gonna write it down a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets yes yes I want the opposite really I want someone that will go straight up to sleep and then be mental in the streets [Applause] you're right because men sort of want a woman who's can cook and clean look after the children that's it [Applause] [Music] read the question it's tough guy and here's why I think right because if you are nice all the time then the lady will notice when you are not nice so if you bring a lady flowers every day and then one day you forget she'll be like where's my freaking flowers yeah if you're an then all you've got to do is not be an for a day and she's like oh Steve's really trying I don't think he's stolen from my purse this week every now and then I forget to take down an Abbey for my wife just to let her know he's in charge [Laughter] I think the most important thing a woman wants in a man you know is is where he puts towels that seems to be an obsession hey you guys know about the towel thing I don't understand it I said Why That's a particular every single woman I know every single relationship I know about that's an issue why a towel can cause so much pain and misery it's a sign oh now now I've become the woman in this relationship it's not about the towels John [Applause] you know what it says to me Sean you've got out of the shower and you thought yeah I'll let John get that towel picking your towels up that's what I'm doing but no the towel is just a it's a very visible wet stinking gesture that says don't care where that goes John I'm not talking about leaving towels no I'm in a totally different level I'm there they're not on the in the right place you just hang them up somewhere like a door just hang it over a door yeah like that like a little flag like a symbol I'm not Sean's in that room probably he's been in there recently that's worse though hanging it on a door because that says I understand the process of hanging this up I just choose to put it somewhere it's gonna piss you off let's let's get let's get back to tough guys versus Geeks let's take a look at an example of a tough guy an example of a geek Okay so we've got there Jason Statham tough guy and Brian Cox who's kind of a Geeks geek oh give me Cox yeah [Applause] [Music] let's get some answers on this so most women are more attracted to a geek than a tough guy true or false what are you going to go for I don't know you you you're a lady you decide I think a good woman is attracted to a geek I think most women are attracted to a tough guy so you're going false you're saying most women are attracted to it what are you going to go for John no I think young women are attracted to tough men but the minute they grow up a little bit and whereas the mortgage has got to be paid and you know the kids have got to be walked and all that they come around you know like their pets God's sending them out on his own and he stops at the end of the path and I go I go and he goes [Music] I would say that go for the geeky guy eventually I think you're right Mickey John what do you think I don't care what you think cause I'm a tough guy false okay I can tell you the answer is false 50 50 women are more attractive to tough guys [Applause] Jonathan uh what do you look of cake okay okay we would like the three differently toned cakes okay um here's a clip from the Great British Bake Off to illustrate your question oh hello are you sure it is strudel dough yeah made with um plain flowers this is plain flour much easier to roll out is that needed is that what you do no that's not what I've been doing it's the speed that stretches it quickly is it it's decent day see what you're grabbing it and twisting it let's grab and twist and flick yeah try it grab and twist and then slap right over here hold it by the end and flick it this is horrible no no that looks really good so far that you can oh my god oh it's so good I am so sorry wait it's really nice it's got Green carpet in it I'm not serving Mary Berry Green Park foreign [Music] question right most people think cookery shows make it look too easy true or false false Jimmy move on look I'll tell you this okay in gbb30 no gbb o gbbo3 Great British Bake Off three that's what we say quicker just to say it I think if you don't John who did really really well and actually won gbbo3 he made the Coliseum the color Ruddy see him out of gingerbread have you have you tried to cook food in the real world yes let's talk it through okay first of all you've got to go and buy it yeah then you've got to cut it up and you've got to cook it yeah how is that easy and what part what part of that and then you've got to apologize to the people who served it you know you look in the cupboard and you think I don't have any of this in this book just to get on oh no oh some cat some cap seeds what is the win most people in their Club have got a tin of fish or something 10 of baked beans that have been Soldier they were multi-pack only but you let it slide you know it's just chaotic you know and you ain't got the plan that you need you're trying to get the fish you're cutting its head off and then you're eating it with an animal and you know and you get the broccoli and you're not allowed to sweep people's faces with it all the time what is in the hallway menu [Applause] [Music] it's an incredibly popular show and apparently baking has become much more popular as a result of it yeah I watched it all here's my favorite ever clip okay let's be honest with you your name will ring forever yeah so let's start with Marianne I'm sorry can we go that way from there it's amazing how I mean how how that squirrel is a worldwide internet sensation now the nuts yeah yeah those nuts have been tweeted worldwide yeah I wish I had a furry penis foreign [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] that's the problem I have I don't mind the cookery show the cooking is fine it's that bit of the end what they make look easy is suddenly having loads of cool makes you turn up Jeremy Oliver never finishes a flan without the doorbell going oh it's my mates are in a band we're just riding our mopeds down to the Grand Canyon where we're gonna have a picnic I can finish a meal and just go oh there's nobody else here to see this what a waste of four hours of my pissing life that was nigella's even worse she comes down in the middle of the night and goes hey they're all upstairs but I'm just eating flan at three o'clock in the morning but I'm still thin even though I ate cake at midnight but if you do that you'll actually die you're fat [Applause] a few shows make it look too easy true or false what are you gonna go for Sean True You're Gonna Go true what do you think John we think it's true do you think it's true okay I can tell you the answer is true 72 of people think cookery shows do make it look too easy I have to admit I've got a knack for cooking a knack she's from Hungary and she's an excellent cook stream and four points for John's team the winner is is the name of our final round here is your question worst thing to have tattooed on your body is it the time have you have you got any tattoo absolutely not no are you would you be tempted I think the worst thing to have tattooed on your body is ink no way I'm thinking of having one dumb well you should definitely do it definitely yeah that's what you have what would you get I want a under the wedding ring onto the wedding ring yeah I don't know anything about that because there's a lot of pain involved in having it done there apparently tattoos on fingers very I saw this guy and he had the names of various girls he'd been out with on his arm and crossed out so no no like you know to the latest one I thought you remember at school and used to learn about Henry VIII and his wives yeah and it would say you know Catherine divorced and Berlin beheaded divorce beheaded and died divorce beheaded survived yes is that the divorce behind quite good current girlfriend the girlfriends of your life you know you did that so you'd have like you know the first one was you know she immigrated to Australia injunction Australian order the Liberty Derek uh I was drunk let's have a look at some tattoos so uh very famously tattooed is uh David Beckham [Applause] the sleeve one's a rank this thing that's caught on for having a whole sleeve because it'll spread to like there'll be trouser leg Yeah when I was growing up in the East End you met the odd man who had a cobweb across his face that's commitment that's that's means that you know if I don't get that part in Spider-Man I am in trouble I'm never sure about that whether that should be intimidating or they're just really scared of flies [Laughter] so it's uh your ex-partner that's the right answer yes the worst thing to have tattooed on your body is your ex's name if you're a parent and you're worried your child might get a tattoo I've got a bit of advice for you bring them up better well that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show which means the final scores are John Mel and Mickey have four points Sean Catherine and Stephen are tonight's winners with six points our wonderful studio audience and to all of you for watching at home that's it from us good night [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you [Applause] very nice oh eight out of ten pounds Sensei Rachel O'Reilly example El gabroy Johnny Vegas Carol vorderman Josh Whitaker Natalie Cassidy Tony law complete cars wow second Charlie Rose David o'dohertz daily Joe Wilkinson and 13 Captain John Richardson and Jason Miss tonight Willis Smith Melody C [Applause] John henna Nicola Adams even Megan Andrew Maxwell license [Applause] Kenny then Blumenthal Stephen Graham Catherine Ryan and their team captain Joe unlocked now we are host Jimmy's hello and welcome to 8 out of 10 cats best fits a show all about opinion poll survey statistics and more of the best bits from this series did you know for example 25 of people do their weekly online shop whilst in bed I do it helps me remember what we need me two veg dumplings a couple of baps five percent of people think Britain is a great place to live and that's a survey of people hanging onto the undercarriage of the Eurostar of men consider themselves romantic I'm really romantic often stand under my girlfriend's window and serenade her with my guitar I say my girlfriend it's the woman next door I say serenade I mean stare and also that's not guitar I'm holding right let's get started foreign [Music] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our panelist's job to guess the British Public's top three most popular talking points John's team what do you think people have been talking about over the last week oh I forgot for that yeah are you so nervous in that moment ago who's he going to ask first and you ask John phew yeah it's not it's not Sean and the twins [Applause] yes we look like finalists in a what's Mika gonna look like in 20 years people have been talking about over the last week one of our MPS uh Nadine Doris has decided the best way she can get ahead as a politician is to go into the jungle and eat kangaroo testicles she's decided to enter I'm a celebrity get me out of here and not spotted that she's an MP and it's not called I'm an MP I should probably do some work since taxpayers pay me to do my work so she's gone out there she's all I've already seen enough of her and hasn't even started I've already seen pictures of her sunbathing in the nude and her breasts are actually a very good analogy for the Coalition because they appear to be a partnership and yet they're putting as much distance between themselves thank you what are you doing no way I hate spiders I hate moths moths moths here now you hate mobs it's just a black and white butterfly I've got home the other day right now so it's massive moth right in my bathroom you saw a moth in your bathroom yeah I needed our shower and I was too scared to go in so while it is I went in with this too scared I went into the bathroom right with this super strong hairspray what accidentally spray this moth shut the door waited for a minute saw on the floor sprayed it and then literally crucified it like it was just stuck oh I'm off he's there he's blind yeah I'm blind is he blind yes now you feel bad don't you the blind person and just hairspray in their face now would you ever go into the jungle what would it what would it take no I won't go into the two you get offered it every year yeah how much they offered me yeah yeah of course 250 000 pounds 250 000 pounds and you went no I'm not doing it not worth it can I go tomorrow I think it was 250 000. I'm not very good with the numbers 25. was in the hundreds even if it's 25 I'd eat the whole kangaroo and start at his feet and just eat I eat it's fur its face I ate the whole kangaroo eat my balls the the Starbucks the coffee people a bit naughty what have they done the stalks what have they done they've been at it haven't they they've not been paying tax they don't pay any tax they manage for sale get your head around there [Applause] but they've managed to make their books appear that they're losing money and basically what they do is they they take the losses from other countries and lump them onto the business here it's endemic it's not just the companies but some of the staff as well look [Applause] just after a meeting with their accountant okay they are one of the few places you can have a coffee and watch women getting their tits out there's a mother's breastfeeding with me I didn't buy one where where I am there's like a thing there and there's all bushes on it and when the breastfeeding mothers come in you can just peep through the bushes it's almost like they're saying oh God enjoy your coffee Sean what else did the nation be talking about this week oh the Tory Party Conference oh you love it I was marveled at there it just it was brilliant wasn't it did you enjoy it the part when I came on oh did you yeah I didn't see that so I missed that I didn't really do any research what part were you on yeah I just you know I came on and talked about my story in the games and my family came on as well and talked about what it's like to raise a champion right who did you meet uh Tessa Joel and um Jonathan Edwards Tesla Jail's labor I think Teresa may story Theresa may they made a big impression on you anyway are you sure you're in the Tory conference you know it might it might have been the the labor [Applause] okay Johnson what else did the notion we talked about over the last year uh um it's not a seance man what village should we talk about over the last week [Laughter] uh well it can't all be fun can it the Levis and the uh one of his comments was like a Yoda thing he said who should guard the Guardians not no one who actually commissioned Yoda who should look after him not no one well possibly someone then thank you waste a minute or is he more like a garlic it does hang on I love the way we get into the heart of the issue here [Laughter] [Applause] that's that's that's all right he might sort of come out on the steps and just said instead of having go at the press in any way he should have just said celebrities Royals behave yourselves yeah and that way you just said we don't even need to report on you none of this would have happened oh [Applause] I'm really sorry it was going right and it brought it brought up something really weird it's usually because you can't do this sort of stuff on British Bake Off You Can't doing the judging of a cake you can't go [Applause] yourself though it happened to so many people this hacking business how how easy to do so how do you have someone's cup how'd you do is he my dad used to hack into Michael's back in the 1970s by lifting the receiver on the other phone in the house with his talents so I [Music] [Laughter] on his perch I can tell you it's not one of the most talked about things but yes the Levinson inquiry was all over the papers after thousands of hours hundreds of witnesses and millions of pounds the Levinson inquiry came to one inescapable conclusion Piers Morgan is thank you [Applause] um the guy who did the nearly Marathon full Skydive thing the guy who did the nearly Marathon yeah it was 23 miles up though that's not I mean traditionally how a marathon is run I know but it's the same near the mileage dropped me from 26 miles I reckon I break the world record as well like that suck on that Paula Radcliffe I don't mean that beforehand on the news they were saying if if the suit fails if the suit fails he's blood he's gonna boil and his eyes will pop out of his head and you're going wow this is going to be awesome that's fine well if you paid that much for a soon it didn't work my blood would boil as well I was hoping that they've got they've got the calculations wrong and then when he let go they've got the gravity calculation already gone up and stuck to the Moon or a trampoline at the bottom you can just trampoline can the record twice if you'd had a trampoline when he jumps out of that thing there's someone in there and they push an anvil out after him laughs it's a race to the ground yes Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner became the first man to break the sound barrier by skydiving from 24 miles up no human has traveled as fast unassisted since 1978 when Jimmy Savile heard Saint Mary's School choir were going on top of the pops [Applause] it's way better than the Bond movie what are you saying oh it's darker and grittier yeah oh it'd be it'd be darker if he had to get Ryanair flights everywhere kneeling beside the check-in desk stuffing underwear in his pocket [Music] film and you get a theme tune get someone to sing the theme tune who can pronounce some of the words that are in the theme tune what's your issue with the theme she oh [Music] there's three times I heard it I thought it was a song about scaffold the Bond theme and they didn't go for it well that's a shame what was what was yours Bond on a bike Bond on a boat hey [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] well they're interesting news this week is Lord McAlpine I guess who's suing all of Twitter he's suing 10 000 Twitter users who basically wrongly outed him as a pedophile the good news about it all is that Sally burkhow has been forced to close her Twitter account he's received 185 000 pounds from the BBC and 125 000 pounds from ITV it's a lot of fuss isn't it he's made a lot of fuss for 185 000 you can call me a pedophile for a week foreign [Applause] I was kind of forced into tweeting because when you're you know when you're promoting something this social media is kind of that's what it's there for you know let people know what you're doing but then when you start doing that people slag you off and it's like well isn't that there's a weird thing here when you go yeah my new record's out tomorrow and people go oh yeah I'm just trying to sell records what do you think I'm doing yes Mexico stages stages yeah I hate you know it's so funny isn't it you hate it no no no no it's probably not that bad ladies and gentlemen give it a go no it's weird because you you do all this don't use to promote stuff this is not what do you think Sean Britain is finally out of double dip recession the recession is over our recession and boy does that make me feel good GDP has grown by one percent in the third quarter of this year when people don't even know what GDP is oh sure what is it well gross domestic product yeah what is that what is it well the gross domestic product yeah it's like the things that we make in houses that are disgusting it is a coincidence isn't it that someone started paying tax again and the country's out of recession [Applause] you're welcome the worst thing about the recession is I read this week Argos is closing stores and they're going digital no more Argos catalogs what am I supposed to do in the toilet now Argos catalog to play the Argos game where you flick through and you go for me with Argos was that it's it was it's like a shop but much more like a bookies in that you study the form and you're like I'm going to take a punt on that sign up is they go over to the big screen you're like come on 167. all right [Applause] [Music] [Applause] from a sporting perspective it's got to be the Fantastic Swedish goal uh it's good by Ibrahimovic against England Johnny what's the thing that you're proudest of because I imagine that'll be for the rest of his life that'll be the moment he's most proud of for me genuinely yeah you really want to know yeah one time I told the builders to off with a quart one time you a builder came around with a quote and I had just opened the door oh I was in the early stages of pissing myself I didn't even discuss it with him he came round away it's gonna be about when I just off phrase why did you open the door then because he went because right I actually thought it might have a good quote and I wouldn't mind impressing myself they actually squeeze the enemy penis and run to the top [Applause] you can start a proper rapper War I could do that I could start a war I could do it more directly just look down the lens and say oi rappers suck my balls accept you you don't have to suck my balls I'm more of a singer anyway so what's a rapper then rappers just um he's in his card again tell me that is rapping when does a wrap become a song are you serious it's off did you know the difference in Jay-Z and Beyonce and what they do I know the difference so if I say like uh I went to the shop and got some chips you can't get chips from a shop of course the rain anime chips and Shop doing right yeah exactly yeah that's only the first line get the next line out come on I went to the show and bought some chips yeah then I got some ketchup and other dips there's a new TV show Jimmy it's brand new show they call it the X Factor right and they get these singers and I and it's too early to tell what's gonna happen next and also you use the word singers in inverted commas yeah I've stopped doing them I just do it with my speech now these these singers or professional crying penises time we're trying already and it's going to get worse I wouldn't drink the water around the eggs I'm going to put something in the tea and you get the most hard-hearted person well drink the tea and just go I just saw a pigeon [Music] if there was a drink that makes you cry it's almost certain that Heston made it yeah special type of tea that brings melancholy and it's actually made with melons and Collie dogs don't they just call that like red wine isn't that what you drink to cry I drink red wine I'll pull my eyes out for no reason whatsoever what have you got to cry about all your dreams have come true a card in people listen to you yeah it's definitely got to be the X Factor in it there was a dodgy decision with Louis yeah right so tell me the story one of The Producers came up to him on stage and was whispering something in his ear and then he changed his mind about his decision he said uh they're in your dressing room and they're ready to go I chose I meant nachos I don't know if you're familiar with X Factor what it is basically if you were Simon Cowell then Britain is a warm-up or pie oh now I get it [Applause] thank you I saw a bit of it and Gary Barlow says to one of the contestants like who's gonna buy you records and the obviously the accession is too nervous to say they just went but what they should have said was the same idiots about yours [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so those were the most talked about things this week but in other news Cheryl Cole has revealed she needed vitamin Jabs in her bum to cope after Ashley Cole's infidelity I don't know if the Jabs worked or not but can I just say to Cheryl Cole's doctor high five the Church of England have announced the bishop of Durham is to become the new Archbishop of Canterbury he's made up as is his religion foreign and I hear the headlines in June when I got the message the papers had been calling I jumped into action started hitting my laptop with a hammer and digging up the patio and then I found out something about tax I after the break [Applause] welcome back to AR 10 cats best bits our next round is bigger the polls most people love being the center of attention true or false false who would want to be center of attention Sean who would want to be center of attention is it still Louis I don't need to draw attention to myself or anything I mean really [Applause] I don't even get up now [Laughter] thank you luckily I've got early onset Alzheimer's [Music] don't you enjoy you enjoy the Limelight because there's good attention and bad attention isn't it but I was going into um little a love little and this old lady came out with her husband and she looked at me for like about 10 seconds which bit too long and then I was like oh I'm being recognized and then after 10 seconds she turned to her husband and went we forgot to buy most people would rather host a house party than go to one true or false I don't go to many House Parties anymore I go to a lot of four fourth and fifth children's birthday parties these days I don't have kids I just further food and games it's about pies I like doing a big shop and putting loads of nibbles out and then I always I genuinely realized I haven't really invited anyone I don't really like people in my house a bit when you go to text people you think I don't like you know I don't mind you but not in my house I invite you I'll have to invite him yeah and you'll bring your girlfriend and touch each other and talk about it come to my house and Fiddle in my Conservatory not on my snacks foreign you want to be in love you stay home and cater for yourself bloody traveling Chef for your sex games on the invite though 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens you shouldn't even be saying that I say Jimmy that stuff should be kept Under Wraps es out there man you can't put that out there and throw their minds yeah they're not ready for it Jimmy believe you said it I don't and anyone who does is another [Applause] I've only got a sound problem what's the sound problem well obviously that's they're trying to shut us down aren't they which mic is it sure is Sean's Mike you just saw in it [Laughter] [Music] foreign people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens true or false we think it's true okay think true what are you going to go for sure it doesn't matter what we say it'll be covered up words to say what they want me to say that people think they could become an Olympic Athlete if they trained every day for four years true or false that's a great question thanks everybody thinking about it would you be an Olympic Athlete for four years is loads isn't it four years four years is way too much to be training because what you think you'd go over the Olympic standard and just give up crazy I'm too good at this then then Jamaicans learn how to bobsled in under 90 minutes didn't they so [Applause] British people judge others by their accent true or false what do you think honey do you think people judge you because you've got a bit of an accident definitely there is a certain degree of judgment I recently did a gig up in Bolton and I got a haircut with a wonderful line off back to London no problem 20 years 10 years of listening to Chas and day finally paid off sure what do you think do you think British people judge others on their accent oh well I mean I judge people long before they've opened their mouths it takes a lot of time straight in there yeah yeah Johnny do you think anyone ever Johnny it's the bollocks you talk I know that I'm just one reaction because there's certain letters there's certain uh vowels that I miss out of this whole words you miss you are like suddenly Jimmy when I run over you later most women are more attracted to a geek than a tough guy true or false what do you think Catherine I think you want the same thing men want lady in the streets that are freak in the sheets a lady in the streets you don't even know what you want men I think you've just nailed exactly what I want I'm gonna write it down foreign lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets yes yes I want the opposite really I want someone that will go straight off to sleep and then be mental in the streets that's it after the break [Applause] [Music] [Applause] welcome back to where our 10 cats best bits and the winner is is the name of our final round best way to cheer yourself up Jason how do you cheer yourself up if you're feeling down am I allowed to say and I was gonna say kinder eggs but a shot for Anna toy yes please still like a Kinder Egg the toys are now though yeah I know but we are adults now [Applause] celebrity chef Heston is a very acceptable eighth this is this is just on on sexiness Preston would be the most interesting to have sex with wouldn't he take your clothes off I'm gonna go and dip my cockroach this is liquid nitrogen foreign custard yes that's for a TV show was it any good and she can't brains themselves don't taste so much they're very creamy and pasty yeah I think it's a waste of a calf brain making custard out of it I just like it raw straight out of the calf's head was that like a boiled egg once you eat half of it he calms down oh coolest job window cleaner it's that bit when you know in the windows all they've sponged it on it's all messy and then they get the squeegee round window I'll get right around it like that [Music] what about at the beginning when they toss the whole bucket all over the window foreign [Music] 's been caked on there for months dribbling down at the side oh yeah it's getting down onto the window below and that's even dirtier I'm gonna get it [Applause] I'm sorry in Spanish because I used to uh be a window cleaner you go up into the corner there around right and then and then you did two little flicks you flick to the side once bang you flick to the other side bang until in the end you end up with a little Arc of foam there and there's a final little pull away Chamois out Lively most annoying thing about going to the cinema I I personally happen to enjoy them but I feel like a lot of people complain about the previews you know I get annoyed but I get in the previews or trailers as we call them because that's what they're called um I get annoyed when there's a trailer for something that's better than the thing I've gone to see so you sort of you're going oh what if I come and see this that looks amazing yeah usually it's because it hasn't opened yet is why because it's a preview best thing about a British holiday since I moved here for me all of Britain is like a holiday which is exciting I live near this place the Brixton McDonald's I don't know if anyone's been there I think it's just called McDonald's in Brixton no because if I'm ever feeling like oh what am I doing with my life I just go to the bricks to McDonald's at four in the morning and then I'm like I'm doing fine 50 pound fine there for putting out a cigarette out on the ground and it's like really that's the thing you're focusing on here like there's the team from The Wire dealing drugs all around me and the guy's like why didn't you just put in the bin there's a man in the bed I'll tell you why I like a British holiday seeing the look of disappointment on your family's face when you tell them where we're going and then you laugh worst thing about doing DIY see I find a bit of DIY quite therapeutic I enjoy it I think it's the last bit Home Improvement I enjoy the Aesthetics but you know but I enjoy cushions it's improving the home yeah I bought some cushions oh exhausted I like it personally I don't see the problem what was the last thing you built it was a white unit from Ikea and uh itself yeah but you drink your way drink through it that's the thing that I don't understand why isn't everybody drunk making things the last thing about Ikea is you're not allowed to punch people in the back of their head why don't walk so slow get through I don't I don't call it Ikea I call it Ikea and they say can you go down I say look how big you've written it at me [Applause] well that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show all our panelists are a wonderful studio audience with all of you for watching at home that's it from us good night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] tonight on 8 out of 10 cats spice up your life that's Melanie C not power it's Andrew Maxwell and the team captain John Rock and facing them tonight dancing queen it's Tess daily get some beer it's Joe Wilkinson and their team captain John Richardson now welcome Jimmy fall hello and welcome to 8 out of 10 cancer show all about opinion polls surveys and statistics did you know for example 25 of children aren't allowed to play conkers at school I wasn't allowed to touch my conquers at school apparently it was putting off the netball team the center people have been visited by a dead person or to put it another way 13 of people have fallen asleep thinking about their Nan surveys revealed lap dancers pay four times as much for car insurance as nurses presumably because lap dancers are more at risk of being rear-ended [Applause] [Music] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our panelist's job to guess the British Public's top three most popular talking points Sean's team what do you think that they should have been talking about over the last week X Factor was quite controversial was it yes what happened on X Factor I think someone went that was you didn't quite good have you ever been approached as a judge on one of those shows I did one this summer called Superstar but it was Andrew Lloyd Webber thing for Jesus Christ Superstar and I was in it I was married did you we came to the show I came to it was pretty good it's pretty fun Jesus Christ Superstar what's not to like I realized I couldn't look any gear than with this waistcoat on so now fully come out and go music who's had a sudden court appearance [Laughter] exactly the look I was going for uh X Factor do you like because I mean it's a bit manufactured pop music it's not like the good old days but the spices and I think that now I'm just a bit bored of the health format really but you know maybe unfair I'm saying that because I haven't seen any of this series because well I think a lot of people are strictly is winning in the ratings isn't it this year and I think it's because it's a happier show I love it but it just shows you people admire people who can dance more than sing you know that's why strictly is so much bigger than X Factor right because deep down everybody thinks they can sing in the shower but nobody thinks they can dance in the shower are these better show because on Strictly you get singing and dancing yeah on X Factor yet neither and the the band and the vocalists on Strictly are incredible aren't they they're amazing yeah I mean I think they've got the best live vocals on television yeah they're incredible but I don't watch The X Factor because I'm busy you should get Sky plus I've got it I've got it but we typed strictly because my girls watch it and dance you know again and again they love it I mean my favorite this year is Lisa Riley do you think she's gonna win she won't I don't know if she'll win she might make it to the final because she's so popular yeah um who's gonna win it I don't know who's going to win it I mean Denise obviously is brilliant it's been brilliant from the off but is she too good that people will disengage and sort of think she doesn't need them to vote you start it I can go on all night I don't have to tell Vernon but what well that was pretty sexy though quite a long time for John if you could just not make any physical contact though how high pitch was that trying to get up to the bicep but you can't get your hand around it can you Melanie would you go on Strictly um I I do love strictly actually and I know people who've done it Emma's done it hasn't she was brilliant I think she came second you know Emma Bunton go on I would like to do it if it's still on in 10 years I'd like to do it because I'd like to be a more mature lady because then I think because I can dance a bit I think it'd be more impressive if you could do it in 10 years yeah when I'm like older uh Joe and now I presumably they ask you to go on Strictly every year no we never have I've been asked to do it as one of the pros [Laughter] well guys contestant I'm trained you know in a modern Jazz ballet whatever so it's been unfair Advantage I'll still do it it's good cash I thought he could at night why not [Laughter] oh you'd be amazing on that yeah I know Jamie I've always thought that you'd be amazing on it on on Strictly yeah yeah I worry that their clothes are a little bit Camp okay should we have a look and see whether uh strictly an X Factor are one of those talk about things this week yeah so look [Music] [Applause] [Music] strictly got its highest viewing figures when the dancers performed live at Wembley Arena they had to temporarily move out of BBC television Center as it was being swept for pedophiles John Joe Tess um what else did they should be talking about over the last week sure could be called John Joe when you said that then it reminded me of my mum when I was about five John Joe were you on Big Fat Gypsy Wedding John Joe doesn't want to appear because the fear of his scrap metal business being affected well the interesting news this week is Lord McAlpine I guess who's suing all of Twitter he's doing 10 000 Twitter users who basically wrongly outed him as a pedophile the fines should be instead of financial because most people on Twitter are just bored people who don't earn a lot of money you should be if you do a bad tweet you you lose characters so like speeding but you just you can only do 135 now and that's a really bad right you can't use the letter e on Twitter Sally bucko tweeted why is Lord McAlpine trending innocent face the good news about it all is that Sally burkhow has been forced to close her Twitter account yeah which is the only good thing I would have had a closer ages ago for doing that stupid thing where you put an asterisk and then something you're doing and then that really pisses me off only starting their diet today asterisk goes for some cake asterisk oh piss off hang on Grandad looks upset sure how you can be annoyed by her Twitter what are you reading them for in the first place to get annoyed what else am I going to do with my day he's received 185 000 pounds from the BBC and 125 000 pounds from ITV it's a lot of fuss isn't it he's made a lot of fuss for 185 000 you can call me a pedophile for a week foreign [Applause] people on Twitter things I'll get called yesterday someone called me the most gormless man on the planet that's got to be worth a tenor checked with everyone I like Twitter but it needs an extra up that you can put into your Twitter that between you pressing send it takes 30 seconds where the screen goes to your face and you've got to stare at your face for 30 seconds and it's called have a word with yourself if you're on Twitter Twitter mentally on you I was kind of forced into tweeting because when you're you know when you're promoting something this social media is kind of that's what it's there for you know let people know what you're doing but then when you start doing that people slag you off and it's like well isn't that it's a weird thing yeah when you go yeah my new record's out tomorrow and people go oh yeah I'm just trying to sell records what do you think I'm doing yes it's got stages stages yeah I hate it you know it's so funny isn't it you hate it it's probably not that bad ladies and gentlemen give it a go no it's weird because you you do all this don't use to promote stuff this is not I need to apologize for your comments did one tweet and I've got 36 000 followers which if you worked it out on a follower per tweet ratio I'm the most successful person ever on Twitter what did you tweet I tweeted due to a series of imposters I have been forced to set up a Twitter account now go yourself [Music] really there's times I think about you in the week and I just think I just don't know what you do I just there's times sit in a tree and spit at pigeons so what do you think I do John I literally that's one I think I just have no idea I just I can't imagine you eating food what do you mean can't imagine you going for a run or watching TV I just imagine you in a dark room sort of softly lit just your face staring at yourself in a mirror Sarah stuff yeah I just go out I'm just an ordinary sort of bloke just does ordinary things I'm usually I've got an old spinning wheel and I spin my own wool from there spinning wool I do that for the local community so you can do Meals on Wheels but I only do five days a week I think two days a week the lazy old bastards can go and get their own food right back to Lord McAlpine for me what he's done is he's gone from the Premiership of hate being a pedophiles you'd be like the Premiership wouldn't it if you had like a league tables of hate yeah near the top he's just slipped down into the championship really because he's still a story non-dom nobody likes them non-doms they don't pay any tax really he's only gone she's only gone down a little bit yeah let's have a look and see if Lord McAlpine is up there [Music] 10 000 Twitter users for libel what you can and can't say is a legal Minefield but what we definitely can say is that Jimmy Savile is a pedophile Lord McAlpine isn't and Gary Glitter is not getting as much babysitting work as he used to I watched the footage of Phillip Schofield ambushing the Prime Minister on this morning and like the rest of the nation I thought Holly willoughby's bangers are massive those pedos are really missing out okay fingers on buzzers one thing's still together uh David Beckham he's uh leaving the Galaxy yes wait until after Christmas to make a decision as to where he's going Melanie where'd you reckon they want to live max because Paris Saint-Germain has offered yeah I don't know Grimsby wherever he goes experts say the club could afford to pay him 500 000 pounds a week with the money he would bring in through increased sponsorship and TV deals club and just say people whatever money they're going to get to the club just give straight to him people collecting money around the country just saying this is for David Beckham can you put it in here you know back if you like Dave Beckham could you put your money in there so we'd like to do a monthly transfer from your bank to David Beckham I was born on the same day as David Beckham and you very much had parallel lives yeah I sometimes think we may have been separated at Birth similar low flight sitting about in our pants except he only wears them once and you've only got one yeah the thing that annoys me about him the most is that everyone says oh he's got OCD because he doesn't wear his pants twice that's not OCD that's just been a wasteful prick Victoria said about Adventure life there's three cans in the cupboards he throws one away so there's two what a dick just buy another one and then you know what you really need to start believing what you mean that was well she said that and she does it it's a magnificent turn of phrase I've been obsessed with even numbers you want to call this kid seven that must annoy him every time he looked into the eyes of his own child he must just think I should have just should have said eight he doesn't talk like that anymore he's got a deeper voice now I should have shitty so we have a look at uh David Beckham doing what he does best yeah look hey do you know what's really weird I can't even look at that because you know so many women around the world like like looking at David better of course but he's my friend's husband and it's really weird what so you can't actually can't look why can't you come on treat yourself I finally understand why they call that film Bend It Like Becca foreign [Applause] but David Beckham has announced he's leaving LA Galaxy people idolize Beckham but trust me he's got skeletons in his closet although she'll be out as soon as she finds something to wear I think David Beckham was thick until Wayne Rooney it's the uh the Geezer who've done all the money problems has been said [Laughter] he worked for UBS to the road Trader the Rogue Trader he's gone to prison we did seen a lot he's yeah he lost a lot 1.4 billion that's a hell of a meeting when he asked her when his bosses call him in do you reckon you try and Bluff it out just go we know what's happened you go is this about the photocopier I've only confessed his crime to his bosses in an email and he describe the situation as a shitstorm appointment really it's also incredibly unprofessional to write that in a work email yes that's an official warning yeah that's why he lost his job one more of those mating you're around how could they not notice 1.4 billion yeah to 1.4 billion what job is he going to get there's no you can't apply for any job with that on your CV can you even like KFC they're going to fit through so what do you think you're good you're having a laugh I won't let you clean the toilet you dick leave I reckon he'll just leave it off his CV [Laughter] I'll tell you it's not in the top three but former UBS Trader kwaku alaboli has been sentenced to seven years in prison after losing the bank 1.4 billion pounds kwaku adeboli is now banned from Britain's two leading financial institutions Cash Converters and wonga.com okay one more thing to get fingers on buses lady Bishops oh God yeah that's a biggie yeah yes lady Bishops you can't have lady Bishops no lady Bishops allowed sad yeah it's the end of a dream isn't it yeah is it not a huge blow for equality for the sake of a poultry six votes they lost by six votes yeah they do they do but now they've got away is it seven years they've got to wait until 10 years since till the next Synod I just actually thought this Synod this would be a perfect opportunity for for God to reveal himself wouldn't it you know if there was a god you think he'd come down to the Synod and say yes it's fine well maybe God is a woman controversial and she's just really pissed off well and she's like she's not talking to us and we're saying what's the problem and she's going well if you don't know [Applause] sure do you think there are any jobs that women shouldn't be allowed to do a lady boy is that a job no I mean a woman should not be allowed masquerade as a lady boy can you imagine how disappointed you'd be in your hotel room in Bangkok no three more Bishops where do you stand on three more Bishops uh well the Archbishop he was King wasn't he yeah he was like he was too Keen because he was quoted as saying uh it would be nice to have some sweet ass around the place I don't think those were his exact words the new one the new Archbishop who can be uh Justin Welby called it a grim day yeah that's what I said yeah [Laughter] it's Rowan Williams I liked him he had a cool voice it's the same voice as Sarah man from Lord of the Rings it's really cool there will be no women Bishops it's like oh you liked yeah I'm gonna say those eyebrows are going to be a deal breaker this is this is the new guy I think they just shaved the old guy didn't they yeah yeah he's definitely new don't worry about that sure sure did you think women should be allowed to be Bishops I I'm surprised anyone cares really it's just one of those things that you think well if you want to be a bishop that's fine I mean I'm Voodoo what Voodoo I'm Voodoo been very outspoken we have a voodoo hoodoo every now and again well I was a big hoo-ha at the voodoo hoodoo this week because someone did a doo-doo you don't know and we didn't know who dude who dude [Music] let's have a look and see what the female Bishops are one of the most talked about things this week [Music] indeed yes the Church of England have refused to allow female Bishops denying male Bishops the thing they so desperately wanted poontang on tap so those were the most talked about things over the last week but in other news Andy Coulson and Rebecca Brooks have been charged with bribing officials through these difficult times Rebecca Brooks is being supported by her husband Charlie Brooks her friend Rupert Murdoch and her sister the Wicked Witch of the West at the end of that round Sean Andrew and menly have two points John Tess and Joe have one point [Music] [Applause] welcome back to 8 out of 10 cats our next round is pick of the polls John test Joe your turn first what do you like the look of the alien the alien you want to go alien okay here's your related question 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens you shouldn't even be saying that oh Shake Jimmy that stuff should be kept Under Wraps out there and you can't put that out there yeah they're not ready for it Jimmy believe you said it Well for now okay remember if I if I get assassinated 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens true or false what do you think John I've been saying it I've been saying it for 10 damn years finally an accent that goes with that shirt I think if anyone is throwing insults about clothes it shouldn't be used why are you wearing that because I thought we weren't allowed to talk about it because you know times when someone's a bit weird you can talk about it and then when something's so weird everyone goes is he all right God we're a waste girl what's the matter with that it's not it just looks ridiculous back to aliens do you believe in aliens funnily I don't and anyone who does is another [Laughter] [Applause] nearby Hammond supermarket in a packet there's cameras in there really looking at how you look at it oh what's the sale by date on that is somebody watching you in like a government office somewhere they're all going they're all going why isn't this on the news because they won't let it out there what kind of games they're playing with us once you know that the alien thing doesn't seem to win then no we've got apparently we've got a sound problem hang on one sec what's the sound problem they're trying to shut us down aren't they whose mic is it you're just sawing it [Laughter] proof of what you say [Applause] all right so 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens true or false I've been to area 51. you've been to area 51. I was arrested by the American Air Force at Area 51 a couple of months back what were you what were you doing are you making a program about aliens for BBC three what happened was we went there and I was with a post load of people who are ufologists people who believe in aliens I personally don't I believe in UFOs but that's that's not hard to do that's an unidentified flying object this is all it takes to believe in one of them there's something in the sky I don't know what that is no need to start a website this is off a magpies and unidentified I've had aliens in my in my house in my bedroom they were coming they were visiting us so regularly I had to get a restraining order that didn't work [Laughter] you've had real problems with this guy it's a terrible it's been a nightmare Jimmy but they won't let this won't go out no this will go out you guys are all in League well you I'm speaking the truth what are you gonna say 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens true or false true what do you think I'm well at me dick I think somebody to be true we think it's true okay true what are you gonna go for sure it doesn't matter what we say it'll be covered up to say what they want me to you're the only person that seems to be insane on your team sure [Music] Jimmy course it's true or I can tell you the answer is true amazingly 28 of people think the government is hiding evidence of aliens a lot of people report being abducted by aliens and anally probed but that has to be a downside the big question is if Alien Invaders do come down to earth and take over would you recognize us sorry them [Laughter] okay uh Sean steam what'd you fancy uh answering on uh that's me I think we should have Mel okay this is this is your related question most people think their life would make a good musical true or false ah I think most people's lives probably would make a good musical most of the lives are boring as they're not though they're not maybe the individual but families are always really interesting there's always skeletons and Scandals and every family's got that right yeah true a fake favorite musical Sean I don't really like musicals to be honest you like anything I do I like loads of things I like books I like music what music do you like well all the good stuff what genre all the good genres do you like rock music I like rock music yes okay well I would like to invite you to come and see Jesus Christ Superstar next year oh thank you and sadly I do like musicals I bet you do don't you I do yeah you said that really angry I bet you do yeah I love a musical too music I'm impressed as well I'm not repressed look at this place go I'm out there I am what I am hi ho thanks for watching me I love a musical I go to all of them Shrek Grace Shrek is a musical it was an amazing musical Kimberly Walsh was in it when I went and she was fantastic not a Shrek not a Shrek she was a Shrek princess I think my life would make a good musical like this week alone I've um roasted a chicken been cycling pretty much every day what more ingredients you need for a good you know Musical so uh Aviva forever the Spice Girls musical opens this week what is that the story of you or is that the is that another story no it's not it's a story that's been inspired by the songs of the Spice Girls and it's written by Jennifer Saunders and it is brilliant what's the story the story is about a girl band [Laughter] it's very much about modern culture there's a little piss take of The X Factor in there and there's yeah it's really good there's great characters good relationships it's a good musical then I'm looking forward so it's great all right no you won't be cynical bastard I'll tell you where I am on his side I like a musical but I don't like those people in the background that start dancing what are you doing you're a selection of Chimney Sweeps this is none of your business what are you doing this has got nothing to back to work chimney swings no he's the main character she's the main one he's right really fair enough are those guys selling fruit walking around going no I'm just walking fruit throw an apple up someone catching goes like that okay let's get some answers so most people in their life would make a good musical true or false what are you gonna say John I don't think anyone would say that my cat sadly my cat said to me I think my life make a good musical out to say it's been done mate sorry [Laughter] we think it's false false okay you're saying false what are you gonna go for Melanie what do you think oh oh okay got pressure isn't it we think fast yeah do you think false I can tell you the answer is false only 32 of people think their life would make a good musical [Music] yeah The Phantom of the Opera is about a hideously ugly monster that hides backstage playing the piano and staring at a woman he could never possibly have I wonder how Andrew Lloyd Webber came up with that idea so at the end of that round it's four points for Sean's team and three points for John's team [Music] welcome back to AR 10 packs and the winner is is the name of our final round here is your first one we're subject to talk about on a date is it why I sleep in bunk beds still I'll keep the Crayons under the bottom bunk so I expect to be at the bottom as at the top I'd have to calm down get me crayons then crime no it's it's definitely top bulk isn't it yeah but you can't sneak off whereas if you're on the bottom bunk you can sneak off and the person at the top doesn't know so you've got power in the bottom bun because sometimes you do need to sneak off as you've seen there are situations where people need to take actions into their own hands Melanie this world is not as safer place as you thought what's your go-to subject on a date what's your uh macroeconomics every time quantitative easing those sort of things it's a recent Commodities Gold Rush gonna carry on into sustained development Melanie decide within 15 minutes of a day whether a second date is on the cards women knowing 15 seconds well you know straight away whether it's scary you know and I think so yeah initial thing yeah if women know in 15 seconds I'd rather they just said if you know to say just before we order wine I already don't like you wedding on the first first date tell you that we've got a planet now aren't we what else are we going to talk about what are you going to do on your 18th I don't care relationships that's the clue number of shags that is the correct answer huh yes the worst subject to talk about on a Thursday is how many people you've slept with you might not think it's a look at me but I've slept with literally hundreds of women of course if a man sleeps with lots of women he's called a stud whereas if a woman sleeps with lots of men she's called your mum specifically talking about your mum okay worst thing about doing DIY the only tool I've got is a hammer do all the jobs with it all the jobs yeah if I'm sanding a window with a hammer so you know painting the skirt and build Hammer changing the fuse in the plug Hammer yeah my house was in ribbons power tools really mean you can screw up big fast like with a little screwdriver you're not really going to do much damage you go up but with like a power drill he goes wow 30 seconds and I have ruined that whole wall the fun sorry DIY would you ever do any uh no get a man in that's my answer to that see I find a bit of DIY quite therapeutic I enjoy it and it's the last bit Home Improvement I enjoy the Aesthetics you know but I enjoy cushions push it exhausted I like it personally I don't see the problem what was the last thing you built was the last thing you it was a white unit from Ikea and uh yeah but you drink your way drink through it that's the thing that I don't understand why isn't everybody drunk making things first thing about Ikea is you're not allowed to punch people in the back of their head while they walk so slow get through I don't I don't call it Ikea I call it Ikea and they say can you go down I say look how big you've written it at me that'll be nice okay so um a bad Workman would blame this tools what about them lack of the right tools there you go that's the right answer yes the worst thing about doing DIY is not having the right tools if you're doing DIY there's one tool you definitely don't need Nick Knowles I remember as a young lad my dad showing me how to use a hammer but even then it seemed like a messy way to kill a guinea pig well that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show which means the final scores are Sean Andrew and menly have four points John Tess and Joe were tonight's winners with Five Points to all of you for watching at home that's it from us good night thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] good night on eight out of 10 packs Melody C ody Smith Stephen Megan oh license man Louise fence [Music] [Applause] and facing them tonight Johnny Vegas Carol vorderman Josh Whitaker Natalie Cassidy holy law Holly Wong Lorraine Pascal David [Applause] [Music] o and their team captain John Richardson now [Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to another 10 times best picks a show all about opinion post survey statistics and the best bits from this series did you know for example the average mum has one hour a day to themselves that's the thing with mums selfish nine out of ten children visit McDonald's once a month once I think that all the kids get in McDonald's oh yeah fat and 27 of people keep a weapon by the bed to protect themselves against Intruders I don't have a weapon instead I sleep in stockings and suspenders if anytime burgled I just throw back the covers and say what kept you yeah let's get started [Applause] [Music] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our Palace job to guess the British Public's top five most popular talking points seanstein what do you think the nation have been talking about this week is it the fact that Abu qatada like Peter Andre won't be going back to Jordan foreign [Music] tragedy but that's the real tragedy when will she find love but on another matter yes we can't get rid of Abu Katana yes Terrell I Katana he gets a lot of unfair press here in the country right it's always described as The Nightmare Neighbor how can that man be a nightmare neighbor I mean he's not allowed to leave the house he's not allowed to have visitors the police is always on the doorstep it's an absolutely brilliant neighbor and also if you've got a parcel coming you can say leave it Abby people won't do that for him though yeah I'll have one of our boots John David Rachel uh what else did the nation be talking about over the last week we're getting a new labeling system for food it's basically saying oh poor people are stupid they go into a supermarket and they pick up Haribo tankfastics and they think it's fruit people know what food is the reason they eat food is because they work all day in an office with people they hate they're working in a job that they're told every day they're going to lose and then they go back to a shitty flat that they can't afford to buy you know what I think I know fancy cos cos for tea fancy a mixing bowl full of viennetta and chips [Applause] is it the Scottish independence uh they've agreed to have a referendum on Scottish independence they have indeed they've set a date they've set a date I've actually set the date well 2014 yes because they're going to let 16 and 17 year olds vote in Scotland so they've got to give them a year to sort out babysitters and things like that oh [Applause] yes they've invented a lot of stuff they invented the the steam engine the electric light bulb the television this expression before when people felt like that South of the Border they used to go then the Scots came along the Scottish are very they've just canned a marketing campaign this is how confident they are with Scotland they had this gem lined up to advertise Edinburgh incredible and they shelved it they said we don't need it we don't need to go there I say every town should be advertised like that well done d ude go yourself yeah Jonathan what else have people been talking about this week uh Lance Armstrong is that something that's uh I feel like that's been popular over here as well we've been we've been trying about a little bit American Sportsmen generally yeah yeah yeah you guys get American things here too many streets you can have that back can I get a coffee no you can't get a coffee you can have a coffee you can only get a coffee if you bloody work there Easter Bunny you've just opened a can of worms with me it's the U.S elections the choice between two quite dull men are terrible at talking they had a debate this week and they're just both terrible at actually talking it was really hard to listen to them go we've got a good rate the economy because if it gets any more badified we're gonna be we're gonna be saturated until like 2000 and later than now because it's called Mitt Romney you've really cracked to the very heart of the US today it is not a name it's no one's called MIT I convinced my girlfriend that was short for Mitten Romney yeah girlfriend [Applause] don't Catherine have you been following the American election oh Barack Obama and Michelle his wife are are like the Jay-Z and Beyonce of politics they're very exciting like Barack Obama he can sing and he's like cool and you know I experienced some climate change when I look at him oh yeah like when he talks about the national debt my budget Gap widens thank you we're giving the nation have been talking about this week the I'm a celebrity thing isn't it people I think I really I can't bear on it now is out and deck because they're like it's going on now they just laugh they're like Gaddafi's Sons [Music] torture so there's a woman in a coffin having insects crawling over her face they're just going can't Tire of watching people go just doesn't get boring yeah but it's all stuff in between when people say thank god oh miss my family I don't they throw things I mean you would be incredible on the show if you would do they offer it to you every year and every year I happen to be in a supermarket where I can buy stuff and I don't have to beg for it you know what you're doing your shopping ago would you like to do um get me out of here or any of them and you're going yeah but you see I'm here and I've got nine twixies and I don't have to do a task with the room would you would you go on absolutely no way about my personal space do I mean don't all these people around me all the time getting on my nerves having to eat anuses and Willies that's just not my thing that's a shame is it the Rolling Stones uh back on the road man but I think they look like a great collection of Toby jugs [Applause] okay Glastonbury haven't they yeah they said they might play they might do if the weather's all right now if they're still alive you know the massive road crew they're one guy whose job is just to iron Keith out in a couple of hours their greatest hits album this is the shittest album title I've ever heard their greatest hits album is going to be called I think what it was is they were typing Greatest Hits and one of them just fell asleep it's the labor Party Conference yeah it's been so exciting that the main story that's come out of it is that I read the Ed Miller Band when he was at school he got given a Walkman by Ken Livingston which is a story so dull you wouldn't even tell it on bullseye people when they come out of the conference they still leave their little lanyards on when they get into the hotel even though they know there's a point on the train we think I'm not a conference anymore I should take this off and I thought this will be an interesting conversation starter in the bar so you've got a landlord yes I've been at the labor Party Conference during the Olympics when they all had their caps on and their bags and they're like yeah I'm helping make the Olympics happen well we're on a train now it's not happening here you're having a go all the Olympic volunteers that's what John's doing the ones who were volunteers [Music] could you do me a favor could do me a favor could you put away your gold medals because it's over now and it's boring John yeah because John doesn't like it when people remember nice things they've been to Mary is killing Joy can I have my laminate and I went for me or I went for lunch before Oh well the day before I'd forgotten it so I thought I'll put it on I'll put my coat over it that's fine took my coat off to eat and then the guy came over and he said oh what's that and I said oh I said what's that I said oh I'm I've got a bit of the Paralympics no you're right John is annoying yeah often lost it he couldn't get in the reason they keep it on is that's how they get in to do their job you've left it on so that he would ask and you go sorry I'm doing a bit of TV work apparently it's really boring but if you could bring the food quickly you've got to be on TV in like an hour so anyway just working at Paralympics yeah it's pretty boring I'm sure you asked me about it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] one yard and your girlfriend that's the real issue cabinets have relationships yeah I was just wearing a lemon in a bar she just came up to me said what's that oh God yeah I didn't even know it's really heavy and when I took my coat off I thought oh bloody lemon I'll leave it on just a laminate that points down in my penis I've got a penis maybe you want to touch it and be my voice [Applause] [Music] [Applause] best bits our next round is picking the poles here's your question right most people think cookery shows make it look too easy true or false false Jimmy move on look I'll tell you this okay in gbb30 no gbbo gbb03 Great Bridge Bake Off three that's what we say quicker just to say it I think if you don't John who did really really well and actually won gbb03 he made the Colosseum the color Ruddy see him out of gingerbread have you have you tried to cook food in the real world yes let's talk it through okay first of all you've got to go and buy it yeah then you've got to cut it up and you've got to cook it yeah how is that easy and what part what part of that and then you've got to apologize to the people who served it you know you look in the cupboard and you think I don't have any of this in this book to get on oh no oh some cat and Cat seeds what when most people in their Club have got a tin of fish or something dinner baked beans that have been Soldier they were multi-pack only but you let it slide you know it's chaotic you know and you ain't got the plan that you need you're trying to get the fish you're cutting its head off and then you're eating it with an animal you know and you get the broccoli and you're not allowed to sweep people's faces with it all the time what is in the hallway a takeaway menu [Applause] most women would rather date a gymnast than a footballer true or false well you see for me I'd rather a gymnast because they're fitter they've got bigger muscles haven't they gone to show us the guns come on [Applause] gymnasts are a lot less rapey than footballers [Applause] [Music] I can't turn it off come there gymnast so the sex with a gymnast is fine but the Dismount it's all about the Dismount I've said this before so do you end up by the side of the bed with your knees straight a bent I look for recognition she gives me the nod I can go make the cup of tea most people think their life would make a good musical true or false people's lives probably would make a good sure I don't really like musicals to be honest you like anything I do I like loads of things love rice I like books I like music what music do you like well all the good stuff what genre all the good genres do you like rock music I like rock music yes okay well I would like to invite you to come and see Jesus Christ Superstar next year oh thank you are you more likely to buy a book if it's written by a celebrity yes or no if I wrote a book I'd call it Confessions of a Hollywood gigolo and then that's the first sentence will be I must confess I have never been a gigolo you've written a couple of books haven't they I wrote one book those two there's the one you actually give to the Inland Revenue [Applause] yeah an autobiography no God no if I've learned anything it's the less that people know about me the better just a book about jokes about jokes yeah not I mean not not amazing it's not it's not as good as it's not as good as this book what expression are you making there what were you shooting for oh this world it looks like it's a nice of pre your lip transplant that was before you had lips the thought of my bony white body pressed up against hers and her having to tolerate my wet breath against her neck it's a wonder to me that she was never sick into my face some self-esteem issues there John it's one of those kiss and tell books where nobody gets kissed but I tell anyway what's the last sentence the last sentence the last chapter is lovely here's to many more years on the hunt s women are more attracted to a geek than a tough guy true or false most important thing a woman wants in a man you know is is where he puts towels that seems to be an obsession so you guys know about the towel thing I don't understand it I said Why That's a particular every single woman I know every single relationship I know about that's an issue why a towel can cause so much pain and misery it's a sign oh now now I've become the woman in this relationship [Applause] you know what it says to me Sean you got out of the shower and you thought yeah I'll let John get that towel picking your towels up that's what I'm doing but no the towel is just a it's a very visible wet stinking gesture that says don't care where that goes John I'm not talking about leaving towels no I'm in a totally different level I'm then they're not on the in the right place you just hang them up somewhere like a door just hang it over a door yeah like that like a little flag like a symbol I'm not Sean's in that room probably he's been in there recently that's worse though hanging it on a door because that says I understand the process of hanging this up I just choose to put it somewhere it's gonna piss you off and the winners is the name of our final round here is your first one best way to make an X jealous what do you think I think being able to fit into their clothes that makes them jealous look I can get into your clothes waddling one of their dresses go look it fits me better yeah it's a jealous not terrifying most annoying thing about sharing a house oh that's your specialist subject if anyone needs to be anywhere in the next half hour it's me in it it's genuinely me trying to live an hour or something yeah yeah yeah it's buzzing around like a little bee I'm a penis to live with if it's your documentary on OCD and you did look annoying I saw that show I've always been a mess have you been sitting on that joke all summer yes totally worth it um thanks dude oh Wisconsin totally worth it yeah Cowabunga Sean something people do as soon as they wake up you can get this amazing sleep app on your phone it turns itself on instantly when you when it hears anything during the night and then you wake up in the morning it's got oh six accordions and you can play them back oh I feel like Paranormal Activity it's brilliant but you can upload it to the app like the top 10 are actually women farting while they're sleeping look oh something I'm a scientific perspective that's an explanation it's the same reason they don't like spiders why say maybe because you've got more places for the spiders to hide I've only got one and if a spider wants to go up there bloody good luck to him way to start a conversation in a bar is that a gun in your pocket or is your penis shaped like a gun we go to the same bar it's amazing how much people taught you if you throw beer in a dog's face in a dog's face people started talking to you and then you say conversation star yeah imagine a chat is I'm blind and now my dog is drunk brilliant nice thing about guests staying overnight is when you wake up at breakfast and they're in the kitchen already and you think they'll let you out I vaulted that it's your point fastidious I imagine you don't like people using your stuff I don't mind them when I give them stuff don't help yourself to stuff I mean make yourself at home that's a cliche isn't it you say it but you don't mean it all right so make yourself at home and someone starts making themselves a cup of tea you think well what are you doing yeah I'm at cupboards that's not where the tea is kept right I'll make you a cup of tea when I said make yourself arm I meant sit down and shut up [Applause] [Music] well that sound tells me at the end of the round and the end of the show all our families are a wonderful Studio where you've said to all of you for watching at home that's it from us good night [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you you know a 8 out of 10 cat Christmas special our tinsel pose it's Bruno Tonioli no room at the end it's Joe Wilkinson and their team captain John Richardson and facing them tonight it's Christmas Steve Stephen Langan Christmas wrecker it's Sarah Millican angular team captain Sean Rock [Applause] it goes now welcome your host Jimmy calm hello and welcome to the AR 10 cats Christmas special a show all about opinion poll survey statistics and Christmas did you know for example 10 of pet owners buy their pet and outfit for Christmas I bought my puppies an outfit for Christmas it was a duffel bag to go swimming in foreign nice pair clenched you can crack Walnut in that relax relax drink it in Bruno that's what a real name is I just say while he was drinking it in I think a bit went on Maine performing a boy band together we are it's called one erection [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] we have been heckled from behind I'm actually used to it Sean seven percent of people who give presents say it's the thought that counts and generally the thought is that'll do and 14 of Brits drink more than they intend to over Christmas which isn't easy because they intend to get absolutely bloody face right let's get started [Music] what are you talking about that's the name of our first round it's our panelist job to get the British Public's top three favorite Christmas traditions Sean your team what do you think the nation love about Christmas people like Christmas presents don't they you cannot have Christmas without Christmas presents you don't have to have the turkey you don't have to have the tree but without presents it's just uh Gathering today isn't it Sunday or bank holiday Monday we have to see your family yeah if you are watching I love you so Christmas was what are you hoping for this year what I would really like is one of those there's a Justin Bieber doll I would like and I hope it's really well made because it's got some serious coming its way [Laughter] what's wrong with Justin what's wrong with Justin Bieber yeah we haven't really it's any sort of an hour long show so yeah well you're so bitter you're jealous because youngin is pretty are you old hacking for anything this Christmas or uh just some celebrity endorsed perfumes oh yes it's fantastic I'm planning a range oh well I've just released a fragrance oh my God well as an adult a present means you turn up at a mate's house unexpected and you hear him run into the kitchen and wrap up a jar of mincemeat it though because boys aren't normally very good at rapping are they oh yeah but in old kitchen towel out of the bin rapping he used to just get my present and put it in his man bag and I had to close my eyes and feel around amongst the socks and the pepper armies Bruno what's the best gift you've ever gone I actually have to buy for myself I never get any gifts it's terrible isn't it come on you must have got it oh I never did is that because you're really sort of sexually aggressive no yeah because I'm very difficult Joe have you got anything on your Christmas list this year what are you hoping for uh trouser press Christmas I don't like the shopping bit so I do the thing where I go to one shop and I'll get everyone's present not this year I chose Screwfix [Laughter] 15 minutes a lot job done effective yeah have you bought any good gifts have you I I always shop really late about I shop so late I don't buy anything for me it's all about customer service have a look at this [Music] selling services [Music] laughs I'm telling to the customers to make them feel all right I'm buying all these products with oh so much delight I can help you find anything you could possibly want such ostentatious goodies that I can flaunt it's selling is service is selling service is selling and selling is service I have to say I'm I'm pretty sick of people using sex to sell stuff just give it a rest there's no customers in that shop all right there are two serial killers all the customers are in the back I think it should be an interesting year for department store Santa's because with all the scandals we've had I imagine they'll have to take a very hands-off approach with the kids they'll probably actually be in a cage case of about 30 feet away now shouts are allowed hailer I want some logo I decided to go oh little hand it to a policeman the big present this year if you've got for kids is the this is the number one gift this year the uh what Heather Trot from EastEnders [Applause] and see if Christmas presents are up there [Music] yes Christmas presents of course ask you I bought my girlfriend a Hoover she didn't want it so it's just been Gathering dust [Music] Jonathan what are the Christmas traditions you think people love is it Christmas TV well there's the strictly Christmas well that's brilliant Yeah Christmas special yeah your show is pretty huge at Christmas isn't it massive I don't know see how that show could possibly get any more intensely and sparkly how does it get up to sort of Christmas level surely it's almost there's a danger of tinsel poisoning which is so much glitter and tinsel everywhere but there is even more like Christmas more fake Town Glitters everywhere snow you have to watch it it's brilliant my biggest fear is that my tele brakes on Christmas Day there's nothing else to do is there you know the pubs closed the zoo's closed your mates are allowed to come out to play Christmas day I don't know what I do it's probably just hide in the woods to actually do Christmas I do yeah because I don't have a table so we just sit on the sofa with trees I think that's nicer though isn't it I don't understand people who don't know Tellies because I don't know how everything wears at all aiming towards your seats are all Pokey towards something what is it pointing towards books Posh people they don't watch anything but the Queen's speech do they that's the test if you watch the Queen's speech because no one else watches it because she's just lying if she was honest about it a year it'd be funny but she doesn't matter if you see her she said I've seen a lot of my family this year Harry's cage tits but she doesn't she'll Bluff over it yeah it's been a lovely year I've got a lovely house I quite like to see the outtakes because he's not going to nailed it first time [Laughter] I promise autocue [Applause] let's have a look and see if Christmas TV and films are up there yes Christmas television you know Bruno I love a bit of Ballroom on Christmas Day and that's why I wear tracky bottoms foreign [Laughter] is it going to church in our religion and all that real meaning as if anyone wants the real meaning of Christmas I drink heavily to avoid the real meaning of anything people that go to church don't they and yeah apparently three million people attend church on Christmas day it's one of those things you're gather into I look at the church like Claire's accessories I'm probably never gonna go in one but for people that need it absolutely fine if I end up in Claire's accessories something's gone wrong about some sort of breakdown the idea of going to midnight mass is exciting isn't it you think I'm a little bit tipsy and cold as candles I've been like beautiful music and a lovely church and then you get there and a broken address talks about his invisible friend for two hours by wake me up when they serve the wine because it's after Pub Chuck and out time isn't it people are just like they love wine let's go there I'm a bell ringer so um Bruno that does not mean what you think it means so like Christmas days like our FA Cup Final and I've got the lads are ready and we're just gonna go out and enjoy ourselves no I don't know Jimmy for me you go you're in or you're out it's a bit like um skiing rather skiing or you're not yeah yeah it's very not my best analogy that managing soup it's been like eating soup you're either eating soup or you're going I'm fancy that well it could be it could be fancy soup yeah yeah I like this you're right it's not a good one is it I'm trying to get a good one there's one it's a bit like um racism no so you've either wear a bra or you don't although I do that sometimes yeah I used to be an audible used to be an automobile oh yeah Christ that explains a lot um and I got to I got promoted to the incency thing where you do that okay I wasn't sure what you were doing but yeah yeah Catholic Church is well renowned I never Linger on me or me I've never had any problems in that department it was me they found me a bit sexually aggressive just back off all right okay I can tell you going to church is not up there one of our favorite Traditions midnight mass is held on Christmas Eve at midnight to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ who was born at pretendo clock on the 32nd of nebuary okay fingers on buzzers one more thing to get Christmas dinner Christmas dinner is I mean it's pretty unbelievably good well it's just huge you know it's always good for me for the first time ever this year my boyfriend's cooking though I'm just in charge of chopping probably 60 of Christmas dinners are prepared by the man rest of the year not first about the cooking Christmas I want to take control there being Army just hacking at me the Garden in my pants and you get to eat the whole thing yourself No One's Gonna touch it but what's what have you cooked it first I really can't remember at that point I just wanted to set fire to the um Christmas pudding as well don't they that's the manly thing isn't it's only your dad if it's not working out very well if it's not taking light he just goes off and comes back with a Jerry can fire and raisins as you get older you want to have it every two years comes around too often I think every two years would be good first it means finally Slade have to dip into their pension pot size of the turkeys they'd be huge wouldn't they you know you're getting them in the oven we're not trying to get Chris moyles in a smart car they'll just pretend that they like turkey on Christmas Day and they ignore it the rest of the year round so same with your number be honest though it sort of is she's just born and dry it's a dripping that's what we have fights over in my house the turkey dripping I'm going to pour off all the fats and then you leave it in the fridge and you get a big layer of fat and you get the Jelly and that's like the essence of the soul of the turkey the cavity is it's delicious and yeah you try a lot of people put in the gravy put some in the gravy and then on boxing day just grab a big piece of fat put up some toast and get the Jelly on and we have fights in my house well who can get the ambulance first luckily we all get defibrillators for Christmas it's delicious Aldi this year we're doing a four bird roast for 9.99 and it's got pork stuffing it that's five dead animals for a dinner if you can kill and raise five things for a tenor that smells right is it so I'm trying to avoid all that they all live together inside in the same place when the goose opened its mouth there was a chicken in there daylight they cut their balls off so they taste better because apparently you can taste randiness which means I am safe from cannibalism I imagine I taste very gaming frustrated goats you've done what I've castrated ghosts when did you castrate again my castrated goes when I was 18 19. I castrated dozens of goats it's actually very simple all you do is you get a you get you get rubber bands three or four day old goats yeah and you just tie it many times around its its testicles and they wither and go black and then just fall off yeah the weird thing was he was working as an optician at the time Bruno the uh the Italian Christmas what do you eat well it's different it's very different actually well we start usually you start with antipastate she sounds nice let's say a little grilled peppers uh parmesan's cheese with lovely Prosecco then you have a starter which usually is a soup tortellini brother which is delicious then you have the boiled Meats then you have the roast then you have the cakes so it's kind of it's different we don't have turkey are you surrounded at this by all the domeo family it's like all pets are off on Christmas day you can go right Corn Flakes I'm gonna have them with Bailey's delicious we were talking about us today cocoa pops with Baileys and make a cocoa pop Rice Crispy cake as a little cup pour the Baileys into it Willy Wonka under this that would be amazing as well honestly me let's have a look and see if Christmas dinner is one of our favorite things indeed our favorite Christmas tradition is Christmas dinner pigs in blankets are popular around my house at Christmas that's my girlfriend and her sister watching TV laughs yeah you can laugh I'm in trouble [Applause] for Christmas is about much more than that last year the light in Oxford Street were turned on by take that as were hundreds of middle-aged women and when it comes to decorating the tree there's nothing better than going up to the loft dusting off that old box bringing it down to the living room opening it up realizing you've accidentally brought down your old pawn mags going back up to the Loft and half an hour later coming down with the Christmas decorations [Applause] that's it for part one see after the break [Music] [Applause] welcome back to AR 10 cats Christmas special can you hear that can you hear that ladies and gentlemen I think that might mean I think I mean Santa Claus is coming [Music] all right ladies and gentlemen make Callum all Santa Claus [Music] hey Santa hello is it a busy time of year for you Santa Claus is it a busy time of year for me is it Jimmy you taking the piss too fast and easy yes Jimmy is busy right now okay we're gonna bug you in the summer but people weren't into it okay come here just tell us why you're here I'm here because I'm going to ask a series of questions and then if you get it right you get a nice gift and if you get it wrong you get a pile of so I'll stop talking over my bit so uh this first question is to you John okay John true or false 70 of dog owners buy their pet a Christmas present oh it's got to be a hundred hasn't it why would you get a dog if you're an evil he wasn't gonna buy it at Christmas I will say trolls I really want a present I think it's true you think it's true yeah I think it's true it is true [Music] [Applause] um the elves love you uh and you Sarah as well they love you as well Sean they love you Joe uh you not so much are you being a naughty this year haven't you [Laughter] they've written you a novel what was the title of the book John it's Pride Prejudice and debauchery by Jane Austen and Sylvia Hadfield it's it's a personalized erotic novel for you Sarah took the lead and directing Richardson to a conveniently lonely Direction perfect for their purpose they set to hiding themselves away beneath dark trees and kissed at last Richardson unbuttoned his trousers with one hand the other twined around Sarah's neck and quickly he pulled out a very fair prick it's a full stand Richardson took Sarah's hand and placed her fingers upon and around his urgent she grasped it tightly oh [Applause] I cannot believe it's gonna finally happen man that's a great gift and I'm very grateful for it good okay this next question is for Joe hello Joe hello you remind me of a young me Joe name all of my reindeer help him no don't know sorry then Jacksons and dwarves he got the gift thank you [Laughter] so it's a face gift um it's bloody is it [Applause] it's just like being negative thank you Santa so uh Bruno what's the biggest selling Christmas single of all time White Christmas by Bing Crosby or do they know it's Christmas by Band-Aid why Christmas yeah good man well I can I see him nine months of the year I don't want a boyfriend [Laughter] [Applause] thank you thanks once again Santa [Music] our next round is pick the pole Sean Sarah Stephen pick a question oh the big Baden big Bell okay most people would rather spend New Year's Eve Home Alone than at a party true or false I love New Year's it's great you go around you get drunk and you go around you kiss and hug people and go it's like being Berlusconi for a day oh Joe what do you do for New Years try and get into parties what would you do though on New Year's Eve Johnny a big New Year's Eve guy big party animal I've had I've had nights before where I've just gone out at midnight let a party popper off in my garden come back in again why is he such a big deal in Scotland because I have nothing else to live for I'll go down well north of the Border over there just bagsied it maybe everyone got like a thing and Scotland went we'll have New Year that'll be ours we'll have Pancake Day and Cactus it wasn't perfect New Year's Eve Home Alone than at a party can I still have a buffy yeah go on okay at least if I'm on Beyond there's a guarantee of sex [Laughter] [Music] what do you mean that's a Hooter nanny okay let's get some odds on this so most people would rather spend New Year's Home Alone rather than a party what do you think John nobody wants to say and do they false you're saying false what are you saying false you're saying false okay I can tell you the answer is false 62 of people would rather go to a party on New Year's Eve than stay home alone so the end of that round Sean Sarah and Stephen have three points John Bruno and Joe have two points [Music] [Applause] [Music] everyone [Applause] okay [Music] hello again Santa I think we got off on slightly the wrong foot earlier what have you been up to since since you were last here I've just been sat out there she could have delivered some presents in that time good answer okay I got a rattle through it yeah fine yeah brilliant okay fine Sean what do people prefer to receive homemade presents or bought ones bought ones yep [Applause] hey got one [Laughter] I got you that you can't just fling it back in his face I've got one wrong tog because when you haven't got one of those oh it's a sleeping bag it's not oh it's it's technically a sleeping bag but it's got legs to do it for you oh see come on [Applause] you like camping yeah I like I like camping I don't like scaring other campers you're my favorite Sean thanks they've got a little nozzle so we can fill it with helium like a little an angry balloon [Applause] you look like an alcoholic who thinks he's a Teletubby let me know it looks like a safe sex campaign looks like my immersion heaters come to life something really quite bad could happen to me wearing this suit how's it looking from the orange [Applause] it's pretty okay and you're enjoying the show there so did you just say did you just say that's a pretty hot candy yeah enjoying the show Mr blobby's been on a diet thank you thank you Sean there you go cheers Santa it's a lovely gift so who's next good right brilliant Sarah true or false in Estonia it's traditional on Christmas Eve to have a sauna with your family true true yeah it is which is all sorts of up so it sounds lovely yeah it's a doll of me what was it called it's called the mega Milliken anything because I have got a that is terrifying because I'm quite scared of you good all right brilliant hey everyone Stephen who would people rather spend Christmas with their own family or the Royal Family or their own family yes it's for you thank you he's got an attitude you're just picking up on that now [Applause] [Music] are they German Santa Claus [Music] and the winner is is the name of our final round here is your question top thing Brits only do at Christmas chocolate for breakfast I only do a Christmas oh no I don't know a lot of Advent calendars well like an advent calendar we got a really good one and uh and I came home on like the second or third of December from a few days away and my boyfriend looked really guilty and I said what have you done and he said I've eaten a fortnight I think some people only do it Christmas is drink eggnog eggnog it's liquid egg why would you want a drink but you only should drink it if there's loads of alcohol and even then it still tastes like you're not a fan of eggnog I've got I've got a little drinky treat for you eggnog have you well I've got I've got bear than eggnog what I've done is I've got some eggnog but I've bought some bacon flavored vodka so I was making bacon and eggnog let's have that okay it's just egg and cream why would you do it all right well I take it you don't want one then I'll have one I've got some other drinks don't worry about that I'll pass you down I could be two of these over here I'll give you the vodka in one second there's the Vodka the taste that genuinely yeah put it in the eggnog or just I mean that looks like a disc no no that's already in the egg the other drinks that I've got for you just because Christmas drinks are fun I've got this is pizza flavored beer I'll never go on that what's that sure so it's it's beer but genuinely tastes of a pizza get involved oh awesome awesome thank you Timmy I want some beans [Laughter] a lot of the stuff I drink smells of bacon because I don't know they're washing up properly they drank both [Applause] off yeah that taste that taste of pizza that taste of pizza foreign [Applause] okay so top thing Brits only do Christmas it's something you do at Christmas dinner [Applause] well that sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show and I can tell you it's a draw everyone's a winner [Applause] [Music] wonderful studio audience which all of you watching at home that's it from us good night and a merry Christmas [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Banijay Comedy

Views: 1,608,856

Keywords: british comedy, british humour, british comedy series, Comedy, British comedy, best British comedy, 8 out of 10 cats, 8oo10c, sean lock, sean lock 8 out 10 cats, best of 8 out of 10 cats, funniest 8 out of 10 cats moments, best of sean lock 8 out of 10 cats, best of british comedy, best of 8 out of 10 cats jimmy carr, 8 out of 10 cats series 13, all 8 out of 10 cats series 14, 8 out of 10 cats full series 14 full episode compilation, 8 out of 10 cats series 14 full episodes

Id: atl5mQsU12E

Length: 198min 10sec (11890 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 14 2023