Big Fat Quiz Of The Year Marathon | 2012 & 2013 Full Episode [4K] | Absolute Jokes

[Music] he [Music] hello and welcome to the big fat quiz of the year a show that does for 2012 exactly what the Mayan said would happen the rules are simple each team member or tribute must leave their home District travel to the capital and fight to the death with their weapon of choice hang on I'm sorry I'm thinking of Hunger Games what we're doing is a pub quiz let's meet our teams our first guests are blessed with being incredible writers actors and comedians but do they brag about it yes constantly it's Jack White Hall and James Gordon next up this year Jonathan asked to be sat with a young hot sexy blonde and we gave him exactly what he asked for it's Jonathan Ross and Russell Howard and finally it's the smart sexy and sporty Gabby Logan and next to her the nervous sweaty and intimidated Richard iadi so Jack James you're looking uh as we should it's a black tie event event what we were invited to so we're not the ones that look dicks here yeah Jack you've had a good year king of comedy this year yes on king of comedy and James now you've had an incredible year you spent a lot of it in New York winning winning uh Tony Awards oh just one it wasn't and then another thing happened in 2012 James got married yeah come on had a brilliant Russell and John presumably you fancy your chances this evening right we are here to win and uh I don't see anyone here who can really stand in our way I'll be honest with you Russell you know everything that's happened in the way of good news but if anything bad there's a question on that about bad yeah I know all the good stuff happened this year look how muscular Russell has become he is like he's like Madonna's dream date now look at that although she wouldn't know whether to sleep with him or adopt him magnificent specimen you I've got the guns now you've got probably the wrong the wrong color for Madonna to adopt I would have thought yeah you don't look fair trade yeah yeah Jonathan now last year you you spent the whole year writing comic books anything more geek this year uh well yeah I've made a game I've been working on an iPad game an iPhone game with my son and various other people we have a game out we what's the game called it's called catcher catcher aliens catcher catcher aliens can I just no it's not called catch a catch it's called catcher catcher aliens catch catch is it like Mexican no it's not Mexican but there are some Cactus people who run away from you and they do s h Lao that's Mexican but it's not a Mexican game well it clearly is Jonathan has created a game for the Mexican people it's about catching aliens and they go come on Vinos and they R around and there's Cates unfortunately it's great but don't try and download it cuz you can only get it in Mexico that's what you're trying to say right I'm going to ban it in Mexico just to prove a point to you it's available for 50 pesos think so Gabby presumably you've had an incredible year have you you've highlight of which was probably the Olympic Games well you were all over the Olympic Games you were there every night loved it loved it yeah it was amazing not without its moments but you know generally I loved it Richard you've had an incredible year as well you went to Hollywood and started a film with Ben Stiller I didn't I went to Atlanta and did one of the least well- regged films of all time and then spent a lot of time filming something in an underground gun range and woking him this is going to be an opportunity for me to catch up so did you not see any of the Olympics no did you see Master Chef no did you see the Great British bakeer no what happen take me out take me out I make time for take right the first round is all about the biggest news headlines of the Year let's remind ourselves of what happened in 2012 we had the wetest summer on record thanks to 50 Shades of Gray Britain went back into recession so it's a great relief that we didn't piss all our money away on a giant sports day and a big party for an old lady bob Diamond resigned from Barkley's after the liall rigging Scandal it's the worst thing to happen to British Banking since the Halifax ad where the staff had their own radio show of course it wouldn't be a quiz without questions eyes down everyone round one okay all about the headlines of the Year okay the levenson inquiry revealed that David Cameron was regularly texting Rebecca Brooks but what was he talking about when he wrote it was fast unpredictable hard to control but fun Jack looks quietly confidence there quietly loudly on the face very you know what I like looking down there because this is what shows maybe in the 50s it does yeah it looks like ask the family okay if you've seen the big fat quiz before you'll know that every year the children of Mitchell Brook Primary School in neon put on an unconventional School play for us what new story are they acting out here take a [Music] [Applause] look thank you for being in charge for a long time here's some B to say thank you yes congratulations Mom thank you I'm cold I'm wet let's go what happened I've WR a song for you la la la sing sing sing la la la O [Applause] O what not the adorable so what new story were they talking about there for our next question it's over to Gerard Butler hi Jimmy so my question is back in January politicians like uh David Cameron Ed Balls David millyan were falling over themselves to declare their love for hot baked snacks but can the teams tell me why sorry I didn't hear a word of that I was just lost in his eyes he should be a politician as soon as he thought hey Jimmy you think if he wanted a raise taxes you'd go with it well not you personally but I mean if he did people would wouldn't they yeah he's he's a stunning looking man he's got an amazing that voice is beautiful that's like someone holding your head down and making love to your ear wearing a condom made of velvet in the US election campaign what incident led to the formation of the campaign group Dogs Against Romney oh was okay so the US which in led to the form of the Campa group Dogs Against Romney and to finish the round off in an appropriately gang style here kop Superstar Sai yes hello Jimmy my video for Gangnam Sty became a worldwide sensation this year after over 700 million people watched it on YouTube but what did Spanish pensioner Cecilia himz du this year to earn International Fame is that not me two years ago okay so so s wants to know how Spanish pensioner uh Cecilia gimenez found International notoriety you didn't all right so should we go uh straight to the answers yeah got the correct answers as well Jimmy K so we have five points in the bag I think you'll find yes sir well done you okay I asked you what David Cameron was referring to when he texted Rebecca Brook saying it was fast unpredictable hard to control but fun what did you put e e [Laughter] wouldn't that be a lovely image though Cameron just off his box on he wouldn't that be wonderful okay Russell uh Jonathan what have you got we went for his prostate exam yeah have you had one Jimmy I had well I tell you what's embarrassing when you get an erection during a prostate exam and they realize you're not a real Doctor Richard and and and Gabby you're Our Last Hope on this question we went for a horse horse wellam yeah nice you got it Logan [Music] actually think that yeah okayu fire [Applause] me okay well I can tell you uh you are absolutely right he was talking about riding one of Brooks's horses they get the points um okay we saw the children of Mitchell Brook primary school performing a school play what was it about uh the queen kept her job in a recession she looks so bored though didn't she through the entire Jubilee every time it cut away she just like someone chat in her handbag just or she looks either bored or like she's kind of just daydreaming she has that lovely look about I wonder if I lick the back of my head whether it tastes like a Stam but she's lick it Phillip tell you know she's got that lick it Phillip you can't say lick it Phillip about the queen I have a theory she didn't sit down for the entirety of that thing and the people were talking about that it was the day after the night of her anniversary and Prince philli woke up with a urinary infection everyone's thinking people oh oh no Russell Jonathan what did you get for this we thought that was Danny Bo's first attempt at the opening ceremony we thought maybe he was just going to do it with the kids and go for the cute Factor Richard and Gabby what have you got Jubilee celebration that's right nothing more than sincerity Gerald Butler asked why politicians were falling over themselves to declare their love for hot pastry snacks um it's to uh keep Scotland from going solo they want to break away from the band and you know do the thing well we're trying to keep them lot of people are calling that Independence rather than going solo essentially what it is is going solo and if they do go solo it's only going to be a matter of time before they do a Robbie Williams and come back no that's all I'm saying okay so what did you what did you put we put pasty tax pasty taxy I didn't know that was more Russell's down I didn't know what he meant by it people were ious there was a um there was a pasty March did you see you You' have loved it Richard you didn't see it I didn't it was the it was the unhealthiest March you've ever seen in your life was it a March or a Wheezy Shuffle it was a chubby it was a chubby Conga it was fantastic the P what did you get uh Gabby and Richard actually knew this one Richard knew this one yeah hang on a second all right just I mean there's a lot of hostility but fine and um I'm not allowed access to the pen which is I'm behind next round yours I don't know that that's wies so what did you put tax on Cornish pity uh yes uh well I can tell you you're you're both right it was the it was a result of the proposed pity tax on which the government later did a u-turn okay um I asked you what led to the formation of the campaign group Dogs Against Romney what did you put um we put that he slagged off the loose women okay so you've gone for Russell and jonan he strapped his Hound to a car that's what he did he he did what strapped his a beautiful phrase yes it's nice he he um he attached no no he attached his dog to the roof of his car for a 10hour car journey and so I slightly mesmerized when you did that we got the full gun shot it was amazing and he said his excuse his excuse you can't be you can't wear that t-shirt give us a slight Glimpse at what the gun show looks like and never let us get a full get us get a full let's just get it out the way show everyone what they want to see and then we can move come on let's see let's see the right arm first want no because what's going to happen no no no no because no I'll tell you what's happening now right so this is happening now on telly but I'm imagining myself at home with my family when my dad said there go [ __ ] don't don't you do it and my mom go on do it do it for the girls and my granddad just going and kill me so going to do it you'll notice we we didn't participate in what was that was bullying exactly let's call it out I'm not going to look at them it was bullying okay I don't see how it's bullying to say can we have a look at your impressive biceps please you know what you did I am very anti-bullying I bought one of those anti-bullying charity wristbands I let someone down in school over a similar incident when I was eight and I'm [ __ ] if I'm letting this Happ you too hey Rich because he didn't want to see him a consensual gun show a consens gun this show is getting out of hand tell me what happened to the car so he tied a dog to his car for a 10-hour car journey and when people got upset he said my dog likes fresh air that was his excuse okay what did you guys go for we went for the same thing I can tell you that you you're absolutely right he strapped his dog to the roof of his car but also this is the interesting detail while the dog had diarrhea oh so if you're in the car behind that's not a pleasant trip is it but even your own car cuz that rear wiper is going to be working overtime finally sigh asked you how Spanish pensioner Cecilia gimenez found International notoriety did anyone know uh Harry Styles Wayne Rooney and Caroline Flack she did the perfect Trio most people have only ever had one of them individually the majority of Britain but but she's the only one to have brought them all together how do we know you may ask I was on the camera he was on the boom I can tell you that is not the exact right [ __ ] not it's not exactly it's not what I the car James I can't give it to you buit she date how he Styles I can I can confirm I confirm Harry Styles if you're watching this Harry this is not a woman that you dated this year what did you put for this Richard again I seated control stoping but this was yours no you said that and I went yeah yeah is it right well tell us what you put renovate a fresco that is the right well that's the right answer let's let's have a look at the original painting it's a beautiful old Fresco but you can see it needed work there yes yeah good and then she did she did the [Laughter] renovation and we can see those maybe that's how he got his name people looked at him went Jesus Christ maybe she's Banksy well we don't know no I can't say that she definitely isn't I can tell you though she did not sleep with Harry Styles so you don't get a point you don't get a point you get a point then yay so at the end of the first round let's have a little look at the scores Jack and James have one point Russell and Jonathan have two points Richard aardi and Gabby Logan are ahead with Five Points we're going to take a short break see you in a bit welcome back to the big fat quiz this next round is all about Sport and what an amazing year for sport it's been Chelsea won the Champions League after a thrilling penalty shootout it's the most explosive climax I've seen since the end of that TSA video Andy Murray won the US Open he's not only Scotland's most successful Sportsman he's also one of only three men in Scotland who can climb a flight of stairs without calling an ambulance of course the sporting year was dominated by the Olympic and Par Olympic games let's remind ourselves what [Music] happened true I can feel a you feel to I can feel it I can feel [Music] [Music] [Applause] it I can feel it all I can feel it all I can't feel [Music] it I can't feel it I can't feel it I can't feel it you feel [Applause] [Music] it you got it you got it you ready he's so up to speed now he's so up to speed he got spot down all right so first up the incredible you say bolt you say hi Jimmy it's you Bol the fastest man in the world and you know when I win I love to celebrate after the 200 met goal that I won in London 2012 I celebrated by indulging artistic streak what did I do he's unbelievably cool isn't it yeah he's he's pretty much the man brilliant oh is Richard answering it's called the pen the sports You' given Richard the pen we're kind of ironic like that I don't know I think there's difference between irony and just a bad idea okay next question Boris Johnson was ever present at the Olympics but what unusual turn of phrase did he use to describe the women's beach volleyball teams oh you're looking for an adjective yes a descriptive word yes okay thank well a phrase rather than a word okay great we win though and I think I know the reason why because it was meant to be beach volleyball but if you look at that beach that is not no beach I've ever seen in the British Isles they should have made it more British beach pebbles used condom CA capr Suns couple of needles maybe a [ __ ] shouting at some seagulls give us home advantage next question it's over to diving Superstar Tom Daly oh Tom hi Jimmy Tom Daly here now US divers are given a separate pool to the swimmers and that's probably a good thing given what Michael Phelps admitted during the Olympic Games but can your teams tell me what it was so Tom wants to know what did Michael Phelps confess to doing don't be obvious ja what I'm just being right Gabby that's a curve ball sneaky play from L sneaky I'm going to need extra time for being dyslexic as well Jimmy by the way at the end of this I'll stay around for 20 minutes afterwards cuz that doesn't even those aren't even words why there's a comma just floating in midair could be an apostrophe oh yes that's what it is it's from the Bon all right next question after being presented with a bronze medal what was American rower Henrik rumel forced to denyed yes yes oh I know I just used that one word I don't know how to spell this word is that right Richard is that how you spell you don't know how to spell that word yeah if that's it is that is how you spell it okay and for our final question it's over to Jessica Enis J everyone Hi Jimmy now I know you've all been glued to the Olympics this year so this question should be a breeze can your teams name all the seven events within the heptathlon [ __ ] come on now this for you guys is more of a handwriting challenge I'm not even going to challenge whatever he says come on Gabby you should know these okay F down you ready yeah okay Usain Bol wanted to know how he celebrated winning the 200 meters did anyone remember yes how does anyone celebrate any achievement Cordon far away TFI Fridays Big Table correct Ranch sharing [Applause] flatter he's so right we're talking Phil like potato skins Wings skins bites dips cocktail thank you waiters come over crazy song [ __ ] big cake no other way what did you get for this John I think he elele by doing the Swedish volleyball team cuz I saw photographs not explicit photographs but I saw photographs of with them and and they looked like they're having a nice time he looked like he was a nice time I think it was just a a mutual thing well I can tell you that after the 100 meters he did tweet at 3:00 in the morning a picture of himself with the Swedish handball team oh this is the picture the question was after the 200 MERS how did he went up he moved up to the volleyball team he working his way through all the Swedish lady units okay what what did you get for this should and Gabby the split personality team you said artistic so I put tapestry you think he celebrated by doing a tapestry did he no he did not do a tapestry okay then I was wrong a beautiful thing wasn't it imagine how quickly you'd finish it with you say Bol one thing I I think an idea right you know that horse Frankle fastest race horce in the world it's retired now and it's been put out to stud it's Jesus going 100 Grand a pop you send b fastest man on the planet they should start milking that man's penis and sing that stuff off cuz he could rake it in my sister for example her boyfriend Archie completely physically inept I would pay good money to have him T her see my sister Polly if you're watching I'm going to get it sorted do you plan to race your nephew I think Franco sperm is more like 2 million 200 million for that money it must be delicious okay Gabby Gabby what was your what was your answer I put photography photography that is the right answer when you Bol won the 200 meters what he did is he stole a camera from one of the photographers and he started taking pictures he stole it he didn't actually run off with it did he well if he had he would have got away with it he's bloody quick you got the photos here just took some lovely photos he should have put it on Instagram made it all CPO made it like the original London Olympics okay I ask you what choice Turner phrase did Boris Johnson use to describe the women's beach volleyball teams rancid um Gabby what did you get I said wet beasts wet beasts James and Jack we've got uh Jolly volley volleyball did you see the bloody JY body volleyball did you see the bloody J bloody brilliant I went down and watch the bloody JY body volleyball abely brilliant okay Russell Jonathan what have you got this is Russell but I cuz it's like it's like sort of porn for cowards isn't it the beach volleyball stter porn I know the answer he said that they were glistening like wet otters only he could say that and it sounds love like if you say that in a cotney accent that sounds horrendous doesn't it you're glistening like a wet OT Forest listening like a wet otter well that is exactly exactly his words that's exactly what he said listen way Tom D asked what Michael Phelps confessed to doing what do you think it was on his period on his period he try to get out one of the races it's the only way you get out ofm only way you get out swimming your period so he did it he had a note from his mom saying he was on his period and then he got off one of the swimming races well it's a it's a great answer but weirdly that is not right [ __ ] [ __ ] Russell Jonathan what did you put we thought he must have the obvious that he'd peed in the water nice what did you get for this okay that they sanctify the water and hid an agnostic it's not like he's completely uncomfortable with it he just forced on him Gabby over to you for this I I put pee I can tell you that's exactly the right answer he he admitted that he peed in the pool yeah I wonder okay I asked you what American rower Henrik Rummel was forced to deny what did you think did he put his medal on eBay Richard Gabby what you put that he'd had a breast reduction [Laughter] oh it's such a good answer I'm afraid it's not the right answer he did not have a but he did say didn't he that he didn't have an erection was that the word you didn't know how to spell yeah I didn't know it was two ours or not I don't know where to go with that what what have you got for this Russell Jonathan you Jonathan we thought he got an erection we thought it was on display he I can tell you that you you guys are right he was forced to deny having an erection whilst receiving his bronze medal uh let's let's have a look judge for yourselves see there you go wow it's not like he's hanging the medal off it can you imagine what that thought would look like if you got a go what's the worst place you've ever had an erection Jimmy um I would say in uh well I forget her name Jess again wanted to know the seven events that comprise the heptathlon what did you get throwing chucking running fast running really fast running uh jumping and running and jumping over stuff we we really struggled on this we went with egg and Spoon sack waste cage fight B off cage fight Belly Dance 4 meters and javelin I mean she's a National Treasure just kid she's amazing but I I can't remember what she did I just remember when I look at her I feel good okay Richard s events um okay calligraphy table tennis calligraphy leaning that was irony go-kart and two others Gabby what do you think what are your seven 100 hurdles yes correct 200 M 200 M yes correct 800 M yes high jump yes long jump yes Javelin yeah I've just realized I've written hurdles twice I didn't want to embarrass you g i mean I think it's [ __ ] dead weight I mean CH so Gabby you get a point there I'm afraid you guys do not get points I like how it's now just Gabby fairz Gabby is like sports presenter so this is like playing this is her for you guys don't do a show called A League of Their Own do you oh yeah I mean both of you right you just or [ __ ] right now it's time for the part of the show where we meet a mystery guest who made the news this year all you have to do is work out who they are and how they made the news you can only ask yes or no questions ladies and gentlemen our mystery guest very nice to see you very well indeedly I'm not going to introduce you that would defeat the whole purpose you can ask yes or no questions he made the news this year where did you get that shirt very good question do you know what I was thinking I could yes or no answers yes or no don't engage with them they won't fool you no I haven't got a shirt have you been on telly before yes were you anything to do with the Olympics yes are you an athlete no oh but that wasn't a no that are you a coach no are you a stuntman yes ah oh if you think you've got it write it down because otherwise you just give it away to the others that have you got an answer for this I think so you think you know okay you think you know yes yes James and Jack are just writing down we got it we got it yeah we got it so uh well who do you who do you think this man is you he's Emily sand you're Emily sand you are he seen you do the I love your new song with Labyrinth oh it's thank you uh Russell Jonathan uh he jumped out the helicopter with the queen you're d c okay what did you get Richard Gabby go on we think that the person that looked like the queen that jumped out the helicopter was in fact you yep my name is Gary connory and I stump doubled for the queen jumping out of the helicopter excellent is let's let's have a quick look at you as the Queen there he is I love the fact you put on a little bit of makeup there you thought why they might do a closeup was it the most amazing feeling coming over like coming over the stadium and just thinking I'm going to jump out of the and just fly into that Stadium now with the whole world watching it was amazing uh in truth you know it was one of those things that I don't think you're ever going to forget but when you're in that moment obviously what you're doing is just focusing very much on the job at hand how amazing was it to wake out with Prince philli the next morning you know you are officially now a Bond girl yes I do wow that's an incred and you're not on the bottom of my list by the way that's very sweet of you to say so you sound like David Beckham shut your eyes shut your eyes shut your eyes okay your and then say Victoria just go get me socks out the wash okay every close your eyes all right close your eyes Victoria just go and get my socks out yeah surely Sur you could have come up with something better than that for me to say to Victoria okay let's take a quick look at what that's done to the to the scores Jack and James have one point Russell and Jonathan have five points Richard and Gabby 10 points time for another quick break but one more time a big hand for Gary Cony the [Music] queen welcome back to the big F quiz this next round is all about the famous faces who made 2012 what it was David Cameron was accused of spending too much time chillaxing this year the word chillaxing is a composite of chilling and relaxing and it's used mainly by fonts and consoles Kim Jong-un became the leader of North Korea critics of the new leader have said ah please stop torturing me and in July I made headlines which was great news if there's no such thing as bad publicity I tell you what that's when you know you're in trouble when the pr prime minister of the country that you live in breaks off from the G20 Summit in Mexico he's in a meeting with Barack Obama the most important man in the world and he says excuse me Barack I've got something very important I need to deal with right now Jimmy Carr is a dick right time for some more questions uh I wasn't the only one embroiled in a tax Scandal this year so was this dog but how what happened he specifically came out of the meeting just to say you're a dick yeah he said that anytime though it looks like it's about to get strapped onto M romany's car yeah time for another guest question this time it's from the man who fell to Earth it's stuntman and Daredevil Felix bartner hi Jimmy I had a pretty quiet year apart from that time when millions of people watched me break the sound barrier when I jump from space but what were my last words before I took the plunge yeah Felix bom want to know what his last words were before he fell from space was it I like death lepr than pretty girls all right he fell out of a big thing but he wasn't dressed as the queen was he that's what I real no he was not J so what what did Felix say before he jumped out the plane next question anony warl Thompson was caught stealing from his local tesos can you name three items he stole oh sh yes Anderson War Thompson owns a pub hotel in the countryside in which I lost my virginity wow not to him not to him to a to a to a lady a woman not abely I look at him I think of the happiest night of my life and the worst of hers that shows you how wonderfully Posh you are that you lost your virginity in an award-winning restaurant rather than in a bush like the rest of us where did you lose yours underneath the Seven Bridge at an army camp those soldiers were gentlemen yeah yeah exactly but it was brutal cuz you could do go mate I'm trying to make laugh okay uh Prince Harry in liveen the summer no end when photo surfaced of his his nude Antics in Vegas but what game was he said to have been playing at the time oh I know this what game was he playing when nude photos were taken ofs too and finally here's a picture of journalist Samantha brick she wrote at length this year about how she suffers from a terrible life ruining Affliction I'd like to know what is it what life ruining Affliction did she sh from without further Ado here are the answers okay I asked you how this dog was involved in a tax scandal did anyone get this um does it own Starbucks oh no it's the Church Hill dog isn't it with embroiled in it no no no no [Applause] no uh what did you get Russell Jonathan we well we assumed he might be your accountant which would explain why you put [ __ ] bad advice he's not my accountant well you you might be better off going with him next time it was uh it was Harry red Harry red Harry redn claimed that the dog was either earning money or had some of the money offshore or something or off he had an account set up in the dog's name like like Rosie or something that's well that is exactly right what what did you get Richard and Gabby he bought a lukewarm pasty I put well let's go with Gabby's answer G Gabby Harry rnaps do Rosie because Rosie had an account not your account in her name didn't in his name yeah I can tell you that it's Harry redns dog Rosie and it was revealed during the red nap's trial for tax evasion he'd opened a bank account in her name I also should say Harry redn was found entirely innocent on all charges and Rosie was found to be a good girl yes you are in that photo they look like novelty slippers though he looks like a giant spaniel with those ears this photo just keeps on giving he totally does um okay the man who fell to Earth Felix bartner asked you for the last words he said before jumping out of the plane what did you put he said that he shouted it's pronounced b g what you think he he said I'm coming home but you couldn't hear him say home so it it really changed we don't know you you don't know I put he said I've betrayed everyone I care [Applause] about have a look at him in action that could be anyone no man has fallen further other than Jimmy savle this [Applause] [Music] year I asked you uh what Anthony warl Thompson stole from his local tesos what did you get well now we know Jimmy that uh if you if you say stuff if you mention products that you might like on the television people might send things to you clever we think he maybe stole a case of Ballinger champagne six six six and the big ones as well big Magnums mag and uh a a pyramid of Ferrero rochet multi multi-tier not the small ones and some canist wants the pills and the cream okay um that is not exactly the right answer uh Russell Jonathan what did you get cheese onions and Jamie's 15-Minute Meals that's what he to go home a quick it up but it's like a recipe it says take onions take cheese he had a drink he just followed it directly all what did what did you put for this Richard spam John Bishop DVD I haven't seen it I I like him and birthday candles I'm really candles have you had a Spam birthday cake is that a public school thing that's what we call it hor Gabby a little bit a little bit of sense from you we went with cheese as well and wine and the most extraordinary thing of all CW that is mental crazy he nicked he nicked cheese bread onions and two packs of discounted C law so you get a point you get a point you do not get a point but you may get some Ballinger so cheer up next up what game was Prince Harry said to have been playing when he was photographed naked in Vegas it's a royal knockout come on girls let's play it's a rooll knockout where that is a public school thing Russell teabag the swan teabag the swan teabag the swan teabag the Swan and strip Billiards he did a bit of both if I was a multi-millionaire single Prince i' they' never be AF F of me with my clothes on yeah I'd smash my way through Europe like the black death what have you guys got I went for Donkey Kong strip pool strip snooker strip pool well I'll give you a point and I'll give you a point that's that's right it was strip billions finally uh from what life ruining Affliction does journalist Samantha brick suffer oh she is the most beautiful woman in the world yeah and that is an Affliction she's someone else it makes you think though that um mirror must be pissed mirror mirror on the wall who is you you're [ __ ] lovely Richard think something else but who knows Richard could be right what did you does she think she's a [Laughter] sailor Gabby you you put I did it in French okay Lael P oh nice wow that's so that's just getting ridiculous now you're so confident know the you're now writing it in a second language I just thought we might get a bonus Point well you don't get a bonus point but you do get a point because yes Samantha brick is too beautiful I'm tall slim blonde and so often I'm told a good-looking woman I know how lucky I am but there are downsides to being pretty the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks me and brick are very similar we just too good-looking do you know your Affliction can be dealt with by a professional yeah it's an optician okay let's have a quick check on the scores I can tell you that Jack and James have two points yes come on yeah oh yeah rocking okay Russell and Jonathan have 10 points Richard and Gabby have 14 points way out in the lead time for tomats now but don't go away there's still plenty more big F T action to [Applause] [Music] come welcome back to the big fat quiz of 2012 this next round is all about the year's television one of the most controversial TV shows this year was Channel 4's drugs live or the tour to France as it's better known that's a real wed wine laugh going on there [ __ ] off Jonathan Britney Spears was a judge on the new series of X Factor in the US Britney was understandably nervous the last time she was in a room without many judges they were taking her kids away the Jimmy savel Scandal sent the BBC into meltdown the organization hadn't been that badly shaken since Lisa Riley did the Charleston let's remind ourselves what we were watching in 2012 take it nice and easy you're ining part ever get feeling you shut [Music] up I'm just trying to help that's [Music] all we're doing this [Music] together face we jump against it like that you hear what I'm saying the madness is my swimming pool I'm at home in that kind of water that looks amazing no I want to say something I want to say [Music] something doesn't matter so good fantastic Okay who wants questions I got questions you saw the thick of it there in the Montage which according to the Oxford English Dictionary gave us the word of the year what was it [ __ ] he [ __ ] Jack and James whatever you're thinking it's probably wrong so nice you're not saying that to me for our next question it's over to Legendary actor Simon callow Simon hi Jimmy poor Prince Charles spent most of this year being overshadowed by his dear old mom herad the queen so this year he auditioned live for a new job on Scottish TV but can the teams tell me what it was he sounds like Jack when you're going to be an old man he's going to got your voice that's why you're going to sell it The X Factor was won this year by James Arthur but what was memorable about his post-win interview on line Kelly show the following day it looks like a girl trying to impersonate Plan B doesn't it that is exactly it this year Barack Obama was quoted as saying the following while Michelle and the girls go and play tennis on Saturday afternoons I go in the Oval Office pretend I'm going to to work and then I put on what oh obviously I I didn't think what you're writing I imagine they've got cameras in the Oval Office they must have cameras so he couldn't use it as a masturbatorium he can't he can't relax in there like that what a lovely time masturbatorium you just thrown that in like it's an everyday it is the place Every Man Has a masturbatorium and finally here's one of our say what you see puzzles I'm going to show you a string of pictures that spell out a sentence here's example so that's that's James Cordon nice so these pictures fell out a TV talking point of the year but what is it have a little look so that's a big TV talking point of the year is that gawan at the far left uh no gwan at a Christmas party that is that is not gwan who is it the the F the first picture there that's a generic type of person I know what it is okay okay pens down pens down you all ready for this okay so the thick of it gave us the word of the year what was that word Jack and James Lobster Romus what sorry lobus Jimmy it was lobus lomus which means they gave us the word lrus what does the word mean J doesn't matter what it means jack they gave us the word what does mean no out of Interest the beauty of being lrus is that he can be whatever you mean oh this is lrus why having did you see the big fat quiz of the year I did it was a bit lob strum it just works Russell Jonathan what we thought [ __ ] by is the actual word [ __ ] says [ __ ] was a phrase they used but that was not the word of the Year according to the Oxford English Dictionary it was Omni shambles a tit yeah that is the right answer Omni shambles we got Omni shambles om okay so Simon K ask you what job did Prince Charles audition for on live TV what do you all put taget he's the new tager Russell Jonathan based on his looks we've gone for Dobby from Harry Potter it's a good thought looks like a house elf does he he looks like a really sweet old house elf why won't mommy give me some socks and Richard and Gabby well he he did we I think it was Camila as well they did weather report saying that Gabby knows every Richard know you knew that how did you get the weather report in the bunker every day I'd get an A4 of Just The crucial news so I heard about the tax I heard about this and I heard about cornage capacities and the results will take me out take me out I mean that was just on a live feed and then I wept okay well let's let's have a look well it's an unsettle picture as we head towards the end of the week uh in the west rain will be lighter and patchier there will maybe a few drier interludes over Dum Frey's house in Asia aha there'll be snow for the higher ground of the Highlands and aadin Sh the potential for a few flares over Balmoral who the hell wrote this script I love the fact his first time he's doing it he's already bitching about the script I asked you what was notable about James Arthur's interview on Lorraine Kelly after winning the XA Factor did anyone get this it we've got it we've got it go what you got just got it he committed genocide what did you put either he admitted he'd never really experienced love or he threw up online it's a good thought what what did you guys this is not going to be correct answer on your card and I know it's not written on your card Lorraine's incredible presence because she is phenomenal she no she's not phenomenal she's not phenomenal she's lobrin she [Music] is and that's worth the point Jimmy it might not be the answer on your card but it's a fact that is the confidence of men that have had a bottle of wine each okay I I can well let's have a look let's have a look let's TR ourselves I after the break now millions of us watched as James Beacher mean to be crowned the winner of the xfactor last night he's sleeping is he really genuinely sleeping oh God love him so no one got that no points there Barack Obama was sneakily doing something in the Oval Office when pretending to work what was it we're embarrassed by what we bring you don't want to we wrote it and we instantly regretted it and we are very sorry for what we've done so I'm going to stay here to the end of the round just carry on honestly okay Russell Jonathan what have you got he was watching Grand designs he's obsessed with it [ __ ] that's why oh you didn't write that I've just seen what they've written you know what I [Applause] mean so you thought Grand designs you thought Richard Gabby Richard Richard knew this Richard knew this I thought he put on Wham and his special mittens special mittens yeah like the ones for going out see that's a lovely answer that's sort of what you put in a not he's not so Barack Obama put something on in the Oval Office what did he put on James he put on a condom and had a posture I'm out I'm out I'm out I'm done you know that b at the bottom of the barrel there is there's space beneath it okay so well I can tell you the answer is watching Homeland he's a huge fan of Homeland finally I showed you a say what you see question did anyone get this yeah I got it okay what you get finger [ __ ] door Domino key jungle oh you're devilishly close what what what did you what did you get Jonathan got it right I think Nadine dois uh went in the jungle or in the jungle okay so what have you got have you got that Richard um yeah we used the past participle though so cuz she technically been in already know how is it n Dean dor is nerd Dean door e enters jungle so you both get points you do not get a point yes thank that's not a theol okay we've got a special r Treat for you now to ask our next question it's the three finalists from my favorite show of the year the Great British Bake Off it's James Brendan and John to see you nice to see you wonderful tell us everything about about how it's been it it makes you realize just the influence and the power of the program uh you know it's we know it's a reality TV program but actually it touches people's lives um and the conversations you have with people in the supermarket the High Street it's extraordinary so I'm really glad to have been part of it now that I'm aware of it you're the sweetest man I've ever met you're incredible that's why he bakes cakes it's just so so major ingredient is sugar dude it's coming at your fingertips you're fine no one knew about baking until you guys invented it it's the best show in the world I want a hug from Brendan because BR is the nicest gnome on the planet the come on give Brendon a HZ Brendan Brendan should have won let's be honest I mean you know come on would it have broke your heart to let him take it you okay so has life changed since since you've won that has it changed things for you not really me I'm back to UNI I'm I'm studying to become a doctor so I'm just what do you what are you going to do come on um I'm doing um my book I'm doing writing a recipe book um and I'm going to pastry school as well in January what pastry School tell them about pastry school yeah we we learned how to to make pastry oh oh that's less interesting okay now did you bring any you didn't bring any cakes along actually oh yeah we have oh come on oh my God these look amazing cakes let's turn these turn these around oh my gosh are these cakes of everyone so do you want to do you want to go and give them to the people that be careful that's mine wow so I've got a cake of my hair oh wow look at that that is that a good likeness is that right I want to give this together Jimmy pudding can someone get me some PK oh my God this is amazing thank you so much you're very welcome W oh wow look oh my God I look like the Y Russ's got the worst look russle Russ oh my God you're yavier BM in skyall in that box although although In fairness my eyes are Wonky can I just point out James's cake definitely hasn't risen now I should point out you guys didn't make these cakes we got these cakes made cuz we thought it' be a nice thing for you guys to bring us cakes oh Richard have you had have you tried yours don't touch it it's Voodoo yours appears to be a burglar yeah so weird I can't I know oh stop it look at what gab's done to herself I just thought you wouldn't see it I the back first look looks like you got the Nora virus what have you done there I'm buming James you're buming [Applause] jam oh [ __ ] okay so you guys have got a question for us ask away boys okay so on the bake off uh Paul and Mary look for certain things both good and bad when judging our cakes can you name three of them Paul and Mary's catchphrases essentially really weird having chewed my own face and spatted out I do actually genuinely look a little bit like Adrien Charles now so have you got have you got three of these yeah yeah we think we got let's have a look you guys can be the judge uh so Jack and James what have you got no baky no likey and let the cake see the oven were those Paul and Mary's cat phrases no would be greatest Mary Barry hosted take me out one week oh my God perfect television uh Russell Jonathan crucially the top we put we love brend I love Brenda at the top I put moistness I think there was a degree of moistness in the sponge and then we put texture whether it's risen properly I know it was snapping biscuits and then the sweetness and the mix of the sweetness we didn't get any right did we I watched every week I didn't get one thing right what you got Richard over would you that's it is a cake it's their first line of inquiry is it a cake they ask if it's not get out can it be held cuz if it can't I can't eat it I need to be able to hold this cake and the last one is just Integrity do you have integrity that is a pretty poor showing so the answers that you could have had here you could have had um a good wobble a Soggy Bottom soy bottom a scrambled eggy texture a good bake and and of course crumb structure a crumb structure yeah crumb structure so what was the what what got you the win what was what was the what was the thing about your final cake I had to sleep with Paul Hollywood well that hasn't really affected the scores massively because you guys you guys didn't get anything but let's have a quick check so Jack and James have now got six points you're doing terrifically Russell and Jonathan 18 Richard and Gabby W on the lead with 25 points ladies and gentlemen a round of applause for James John and Brendan time for another quick break now while we all have a slice of cake see you in a [Music] minute welcome back to the big fat quiz of the year 2012 this round is all about the year in science and technology the International Space Station was resupplied by a private company for the the very first time in 2012 the delivery of food clothes and Essentials cost a staggering $1.6 billion they should have gone to Sab think of the nectar points Facebook was floated on the stock market in the first week of trading the value of shares plummeted by half cutting Mark Zuckerberg's personal worth from over $17 billion to just under 14 billion loser we ready for some more questions I think time for another 7c puzzle what does this one spell okay I'm I'm good at these God party granny disc sheet Jes some people feel tactically an idea not to read them out loud but Jesus balloons lob it's definitely not God party is it yes [ __ ] party it's time for another guest question all the way from the forest Moon of Endor it's War Davis yeah oh yeah yes hi Jimmy in which unusual location would you have been able to find a high energy laser beam a nuclear battery a microchip containing over a million people's names and will I am's new single wow War wants to know where could you find a high energy laser beam a nuclear battery a microchip containing over a million people's names and will I am's new single where could you find that eclectic mix of things in September this year what was responsible for The Disappearance of the Statue of Liberty the return of Woolworths to the High Street and the relocation of Luton to the coast we are going to catch Gabby up and defeat her now for the next question over to Formula 1 hero Jensen Bon hey Jimmy hey everyone uh as you probably know I live a pretty fast and furious life uh but I was devastated to hear the news that the slowest and the rarest creature the Giant toris from the the gpus islands passed away in June can your teams tell me his name I know it he looks devastated by that news absolutely heartbroken so Jensen wants to know the name of the elderly toris who died this year sad it was very sad 100 years old this year a team of scientists from the states released this [Music] recording [Music] what is it it's that simple why that recording sounds like an umper lumper having a kazoo removed from it I cannot believe boy he's just Rich okay I'll admit it's a little bit wrong it's a family show it's a family show let's get on with the answers so I asked you to say what you saw what did you all get God balloons merry berries floppy curtains God balloons merry ber sloppy curtains very so close Russell we uh we were with them at the beginning so we got God party call then we could so we put floppy sheets we weren't sure what the ending could be I don't think we've got it quite right okay Richard Gabby you do the good bit God Particle yeah yeah something this sheet okay so it's God party call dis CED discovered BOS yeah God Particle discovered okay big science news and no points for anyone there okay War Davis asked you where you could find a high energy laser beam a nuclear battery a microchip containing over a million people's names and will I am's new single where was it train tring yeah wat but I bet you've got something different on your card cuz that's the way this game's going for us okay uh Russell Jonathan I thought it was Anthony wall Thompson's Garage stuff from all over but we went instead with Suz anal bum party you could not find all of those things at Suz oh there's the capacity my friend don't you worry about that okay uh Richard Gabby AA you cannot buy a nuclear battery in ASDA you can you can if it's the Asda in TR they do everything I love a you can buy TV from there watch it for two years and take it back they don't care they told me that the man said just take it back when you finished we don't care here and true to his word I took it back after two years that his manager cared a lot more than him all space yeah well space is they were all on board NASA's Curiosity Rover which landed on the surface of Mars earlier this year so I think you got a point for space Happ okay I asked you uh what was responsible for The Disappearance of the Statue of Liberty the return of wus and the relocation of Luton correct answer is Dynamo thank you very much James because we have Darren Brown and I would argue that Darren was the first and the best Dynamo is a better conjurer than Darren Brown no way what are you mad I met D It's like a wizard rat battle well well hang let's go to Richard and Gabby for their answer before we get the real answer look at your card Jimmy don't just stare at me look at your card he not right Russell it was the um Apple Maps put it on the side on the uh the new iPhone I can tell you the correct answer is the disastrous launch of Apple map ma new maps app because they were too Frugal for Google Frugal for Google too Frugal for Google there was a book on the news that we saw that was uh that was complaining went he's pointing at his phone went it says that my house is in a river and I don't live in a river it's ridiculous what if people think I'm a fish not who gives a [ __ ] it's a phone next up Jon Buton asked you to name that dead giant TS sounds like a really weird game show doesn't it name that giant got multiple choice one of these four Michelangelo Donatella Don Rafael leono okay uh what did you get I have been given the pen this round and I thought maybe it was named after Sebastian Cove he's the oldest tter so's he's more than 100 years old yeah but you thought he was named yeah that was what that's why I remembered it cuz it was so weird it obviously involved a name change once Sebastian Co became famous running out Sebastian Co was named after the torto or it could have been there of course of course that that parents were kind of ironic our son's going to have fast twitched muscle fibers let's call him after a very slow tortoise I'm so pleased F switch muscle fibers is a phrase that has been uttered I'm so pleased that that's happened that's tremendous Russell Jonathan L Lonesome George he's 100 years old and he never had sex all alone for 100 years L that's well that's why he never had sex cuz he was called Lonesome George Lonesome came later he was probably Chris and George well I just had this image of him kind right ladies oh [ __ ] here comes Lonesome where the lady ttis is there they tried to M him well he he was the last of his species he became like a pinup boy for there he is I can see why he didn't get laid oh my God is he all right Jens now J Buton I think he so upset he was distraught absolutely devastated he loves Life in the Fast Lane and so it's great that he's taken time out to talk about this Lonesome George is the right answer you get a point you guys do not get a point okay and finally I played you a scientific recording what did you think it was what do you think this noise was [Music] let's go to Jack and James it's Joe pqu getting bummed is the right answer Richard and Gabby is it dolphin's chatting dolphin's chatting you are you're close we uh we think it's uh this was a recording of a whale and the scientist said he was talking and they thought that they called him making certain noises which they picked up as certain I can't remember what language it was it wasn't English but it was a language and they thought he was speaking to them he was saying I hate Japanese fishermen well I mean I can't believe you got this so completely right it was a whale called knock that they attempted to teach how to speak human that is as far as they got okay time for another bonus round it's a disaster oh yeah here we go another little bonus round this time it's about virals have a look at these pictures of some shocked and upset looking people what has taken them by surprise so write down your answers what you think they oh we got to write this down we what's going on here we don't really understand well that's really the question could you give us a a clue well I think the clue there look at what they're all wearing that might be a bit it's weird because she's quite amused by it but the woman was really upset they're being they're being filmed as they as they leave I know I know I know Jonathan write something down Russell knows the answer he's right of course he is okay so what did you get for this we've got David Beckham in a photo booth isn't it he's right he's only bloody right he's right what have you got you've got they've just met be okay and what have you guys got met beckam at the Olympic let's have a little look see it's incredible right oh [Music] my you God so beautiful isn't it imagine if John Terry had rocked up how different that oh hello it's just it's when the little boy cries it's so beautiful that must be such a burden for David Beckham they walking around and people just lose their share just you get used to it okay points all around okay so let's move on um this Intrepid German became a viral sensation this year during a cold snap but how how did this man become a viral sensation oh okay oh yeah I did see this yeah yeah I mean [Music] dude okay have you all got something written down okay let's have a look um we didn't know what the answer was so we thought it would be funny instead to write down Jonathan's mobile number on our like call him whenever you want what did you guys get Richard Gabby I I thought he was you know one of those genuinely funny Nazis and it's difficult cuz you you know you can't condone what they did when one's funny uh Russell Jonathan it's the um it's the we've called him ice paol idiot but it's the guy that tries to jump to a pole oh yeah he tries to go through the ice he's going to show off to his friends and they're filming him and then it doesn't quite turn out as he expect let's let's check out this clip M [ __ ] the [ __ ] world and my new band is called sis kill In fairness that was better than Tom dy's second round dive in the Olympics okay let's take a quick look at the scores uh Jack and James you've got seven Russell and Jonathan you've got 23 you're catching up to Richard and Gabby they have 27 we take another quick break but don't go away back in a minute [Applause] welcome back to the final part of the big fat quiz this round is all about the talking points and water cooler moments that define the year Europe's tallest skyscraper The Shard opened in London from the top on a clear day you can see France which sort of ruins it for me a referendum on Scottish independence was announced before the vote David Cameron has insisted Scotland gets a hamster so they can learn about responsibility are you ready for your final batch of questions all to play for you can definitely catch up James and Jack come on this year all the cool kids were hashtagging their inspirational tweets with yolo but what does yolo stand for we know this yeah we do okay y y oh yeah oh I've written it I can give you some example of YOLO tweets if that helps yeah okay love to sing am I good at it no do I still sing duh # YOLO I haven't worn a bra all day # YOLO who had YOLO someone's had YOLO tattooed on there is there who is it some one of the young American Stars has had Zack Efron had yellow tattooed on the side of his hand you would think he would know better well it's an interesting move because a lot of people regret tattoos years after they had them he can regret that pretty much right away saves a lot of time now we've got a very special treat for you it's over to the big fat quiz's Masterpiece Theater where actor Charles Dance is giving us a reading but what is he reading from over to you Charles chapter 2 let me ask you something first do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky [ __ ] at all my mouth drops open kinky [ __ ] a squeak H kinky [ __ ] I can't believe you said that well I did answer me he says calmly I flush my inner goddess is down on bended knee with her hands clasped in supplication begging me I like your kinky [ __ ] I whispered yeah that's what I thought CH there let's face F Chuck D is the man he's not reading that he's memorized that he didn't look down at that book once he's he's not just memorizing it he's living that okay how did a three-year-old ginger cat called teddy bear spark a local crisis involving 31 policemen two helicopters and an armed Response Unit well that is a terrific photo is the cat is on the left there I mean how much you have to love your cat to do that to [Laughter] yourself okay an animal charity in New Zealand hit the headlines after they made a major breakthrough in the training of rescue dogs what they taught the dogs to do nice yeah for that yeah I think we've got four right answers here jimmying thank you very much back in the game I'm loving your confidence okay ready for some answers okay I asked you what YOLO stood for any guesses yes oh Lobster [Laughter] ominous I would be tempted to give you a point for that but it's so wrong um what what have you got Russell Jonathan you only live once but we've added the new phrase yab unless you're a Buddhist it's a very good point more made yeah um Richard Gabby yeah you only live once you only live once yeah that you only live once although I saw someone tweet saying you only die once you live every day to which I decided to unfollow them but it's that thing in it like you know such a crappy phrase like people go YOLO man they never do it's like you were reading now they never do profound things like try and cure cancer or something like that it's like I've just done a [ __ ] on someone's car YOLO did you do a [ __ ] on my car no but do you mean those pathetics blood's thick in the water so yogurt my favorite one is like when you bloke so going oh I shagged her brains out you me such a surely that would be awkward wouldn't it how was that for you so you get a point you get a point you do not get a point for lobster ominus Charles Dance read from you from one of the literary phenomenons of the year what was it we think it was how to bake by Mary Berry what did you put we've got uh an Wham my life Richard Gabby you you went for we're here to play best quiz we can we want to take it home at Richard's book of the Year 50 Shades of Gray that is the right answer 50 Shades of Gray course it's such a crap title in it 50 Shades of Gray it sounds like something you'd find in Philip Scofield's plugo but Philip Scofield's plugo that is a good title for a filthy book do you know what one of the interesting stories is that it had a massive impact on the economy 50 Shades because women read it and went out and bought like dildos and butt plugs and jiggle balls and generally seriously true what's a jiggle ball I don't know he put out the Jiggles but um but so so basically we we came out of recession because of the the Olympics and 50 Shades of Gray so we came out of recession because of the mobot and the mum rub how loveely it's true but that's but that's what guys out of the recession wanking moms you shouldn't feel bad about it that's wonderful we wanked our way out of recession Heroes we're back in the green cuz you flicked your bean that is wonderful absolutely incredible yeah YOLO YOLO you Heroes okay I asked you how a three-year-old Ginger care called teddy bear sparked a local crisis involving 31 policemen two helicopters and an armed Response Unit anyone get this he was in wokingham and he held Richard II hostage for six months that that is not the case it's not the case what did you what did you go for she went ape [ __ ] A a three-year-old ginger cat did not go ape [ __ ] catch it I mean I know what you're saying it's weird cuz it's a mixed metaphor Okay I uh Russell Jonathan you got this it was the Essex Snoop Dog the ESS yeah they thought it was a lion didn't they they so Ted teddy bear was a ginger cat mistaken for a lion giving rise to the Essex lion scare here's the picture they took it does look quite liony you're a little liony little bit I'll give you that yeah a little bit ly I mean don't call an armed Response Unit maybe have a little look I tell you what I'll check this out first just to make sure before I call anyone else if you still convinced it's a lion and you're 6ot away something's gone wrong if you're six foot away and that's what you're seeing I think your cataract is more of a problem than the line I'm just saying in a situation where it is a line back up also if you if you want to kill a line you don't call 30 armed police that's stupid you lure it into a canyon and then get three hyenas to instigate a Antelope Stampede yeah oh God I'm crying even thinking about muasa move faster [Music] YOLO H okay Hakuna mat guys Hakuna matuna mat and finally I asked you what a New Zealand charity taught rescue dogs to do what did you think got this be taught to be led by the blind Switcheroo cuz F that the blind have been taking the piss for so long it's time that they started leading some dogs around yeah no um I go what what did you uh get did they teach them to make calls 999 calls these these these were rescue dogs like dogs that you rescue from Bad homes not dogs that rescue you the emergency lines this is not the story I thought it was don't look at me we we we we confused by that one as well Gabby if we have known that we would have never put that no it felt like a long shot anyway now it looks ridiculous feels like we just been confused oh Jonathan Russell what what did you get if they're going to re rehabilitate these dogs we you think they taught them to make love in the missionary position who rise above the stigma of the doggy style or that's been holding them down they were talk to drive further to get their own back as well they strapped mitt Romany to the roof of the car take a look at this it's amazing good boy yeah he knows exactly what to do hey look at that hey once Marie gives the a for accelerator command he's off it's a truly remarkable sign wow I love the fact he look so proud of himself okay to finish the show in style we've got one final big fat question and to ask it from Team GB and paral GB its gold medal winners Sophie Christensen Natasha Baker Hannah cockro Ed mcka etan St Helen Glover Peter Wilson and Nicola Adams very nice to see you all how are you have you got the medal on where's where's the medal uh I would say I lost it but that would be a lie I I A friend of mine dropped it so it's gone back to get fixed are you all going on to Ria who's going back to Rio not sure yet not sure what do you mean you're not sure we haven't decided me and my crewmate him we we yet to sit down and decide fully about it but it's so tempting going to Rio how cool would that be well that sounds like a decision made then fine I mean so what was the I mean obviously the high point for all of you guys was was getting the gold right it's it's and the After parties they were pretty they were pretty wicked well this is what I heard about the Olympic Village that the Olympic Village was like Sue's album launch party the whole time that's what I heard was that is that absolutely yeah no that was a rumor n Nicola would you punch Demi for me just to show cuz he was saying female boxers can't hit hard early on he actually said that to me he said come he he seriously said he said there's no way a female boxer could hurt him with the punch that's what he actually said to me so you got a big question for us I believe for the end of the big fat quiz of the Year okay what's your so the big question there's uh it's in three parts two points for each part 10 points if you get all three so 16 points on offer here come on so what is the most what watched YouTube clip of 2012 what was the highest grossing movie in the UK oh yeah yep okay what was the most watched television program that's a tough one let's have a look and see what everyone got what have you got Gangam Style Submarine by the brilliant Richard iard wow and the most watched TV show was either fresh meat or League of Their Own Series 6 okay so Jonathan what did you get on this we've gone we went for gang them style correct we went we want to win this we went for Skyfall and then we went for the Olympics opening ceremony as the most watch show of the year the most watch came first two but we couldn't decide whether it was opening or closing and we went for closing well I can reveal that Gabby and Richard have it absolutely right thank you wow okay let's have a look at see how that's affected the scores so Jack and James have nine points y Russell and Jonathan have 30 points Richard II and Gabby Logan are our winners with 45 points well done we got you a trophy and some big fat quiz gold medals a big thank you to our amazing panel our special guest and thanks for watching this at home this has been the big fat quiz of the year 2012 [Music] [Music] he hello and welcome to the big F quiz of 2013 of course these days you can't call things big and fat so welcome to the bubbly Jolly fully figured enjoying life celebrating our curves quiz of the year the big fat quiz 2013 think of it as a slightly more upto-date version of the big fat quiz 2012 or a slightly all hat version of the big fat quiz 2014 if you'd like to play along at home then presumably you don't have the new Xbox unlucky let's meet our teams first up we have a bit of fresh meat Jack White Hall and he's brought some muton dressed to spam it's Jonathan Ross next up she's the crazy stalking fan girl from Flight of the Concords he's a maths loving science bod it's like match.com pick the teams it's Kristen Shaw and dar Breen and finally we've got a rock and roll Dandy and the brains of the operation all we need now is a ladies man a jock and Jason STM and we've got ourselves a Heights movie it's n fielding and Richard II Jack are you K Jonathan this evening yeah well um I did this lovely show last year and I got in don't touch me um I got in a lot of trouble last year for some uh jokes that I said on this show so I was like this evening I'm going to behave and there are going to be no offc complaints I'm on best behavior and you put me with Jonathan Ross I'm I'm mentoring you this year not that's like turning up to an AA convention your sponsor's Gaza like he's going to lead me astray I've got some jokes I've written for him some familyfriendly jokes for to do he said he's not going to do them but this will keep out of trouble and get laughs well I'm very I'm very much looking forward to hearing that d uh Kristen how are you we're great we're fantastic Kristen's just over for essentially for the day yeah yeah sure I'm so looking forward to questions about British politics British television shows uh hits in the British chart over the last 12 months or so yeah this has been this has been a great year for me I'm I became a woman really touch and go but I think it happened when you say you became a woman just blossomed okay uh Richard you you look um composed and ready for this yeah it's been up and down as a year lot of sadness um but yeah I'm here I'm ready to quiz I'm ready to take a sideways glance at the event of the previous 12 months I look like his legal adviser it's exactly it right could you talk me through the the outfit I mean cuz cuz you know Jack just skate over mine a Moes are you all right n as n's legal advisor that is very dangerous yeah well there's blame sue you don't sue me I'm on look that is that is a hell of a look that is a strong look nearly broke my cheekbone right round one round one is all about the year's biggest news headlines Chris Hune was jailed for getting his wife to take speeding points whilst in prison he was subjected to Violent threats and verbal abuse although to be fair it was his decision to phone his family in August two young women were imprisoned in Peru on charges of drug smuggling the girls one from Northern Ireland and one from Glasgow said they' been living in terrible conditions but now they were glad to be out and living in a Peruvian jail Abu katada was deported to Jordan this year it was the first time in history he throw security have let someone on the plane only after assurances that he didn't pack the bag himself of course it wouldn't be a quiz without questions eyes down everyone round one first up it's over to a man who made the transition from comedian to revolutionary in 2013 it's Russell Brand hello Jimmy car now would you cast your mind back to January this year do you remember it came out that uh certain uh lasagnas and food and that meat food had horses innards in it like in had come out of a horse a thing that the horse was when it was alive that had become a type of food now Iceland the uh Supermarket was implicated negatively in all of that what did Iceland boss m Walker say when he was asked whether he'd checked for horses in his food what did he say that's the question Jimmy that I'm passing on to you obviously you can't ask questions directly Jimmy you don't have that degree of ability the quazer out he's remarkable who's this man he's the head of Iceland Malcolm Walker did he say that the vegetarian burgers had pantomime horse in them no he didn't but it would have been brilliant if he had okay question number two uh which event prompted BBC news reporter Simon McCoy to say during an outside broadcast plenty more to come from here of course none of it news well that's inappropriate what happen outside what an outside the building he was outside the building yeah what was going on inside what was going on that's the question that's like the opposite of what you want it could that make perfect sense you're me listen think of the question I'm older than you you meant to listen stop bickering you know the last time me and Jonathan worked together we did a thing where we gave out an award I got a tweet from someone one of the most creative bits abs ever saying Jonathan Ross is like a cyborg sent back in time to remind Jack whall that he's still not funny well done trolls okay next up we're going over to one of the biggest comedy stars in the world it's Steve Corell everyone oh hi Jimmy hi 2013's been a funny old year and one of the strangest events occurred in February when windows in over 4,000 buildings shattered in Russia but can your teams remember why can they oh the Geeks have got it yeah the Geeks have got it is this nothing okay okay next question why did a marriage proposal in July get tweeted about by Nick C written about in The Independent Newspaper and mentioned in the official parliamentary records W it got tweeted wow wow that's amaz a big deal a big deal yeah to get gets on to Twitter that's guys on Twitter and finally it's over to the children of Mitch Primary School in N who are performing one of their unusual school plays can you tell me which news story they're acting out trade security the economy I agree I'm turning on you here are all the secrets [Music] [Applause] y he is very naughty don't wor you can live in Russia okay so what new story with the kids of Mitch Brook Primary School acting out there Jimmy can I can I introduce a little idea to maybe make the stakes a little bit higher and a little bit more fun for everyone is that if uh if Noland uh which had fail to get in the top two teams at the end that they go backstage and which outfits yes it's a fine idea I mean we are we are prepared to take the same B okay I don't want to have to wear a cheap suit Dar chrisan are you up for this I don't like this okay so everyone's everyone's up for this it looks like d we were doing joke answers we're not doing joke answers now if I have to wear SN dress H how dare you it's a lovely dress I'm just saying I'm a very bit it just won't work on me you you should have confidence in your body I think if you wear you look like a massive quality Street it look amazing okay time for some answers first up Russell Brand asked you why explanation Malcolm Walker gave for not detecting horse meat in Iceland meals what did your put well we we wrote Nay by which we meant he didn't he said he'd never eaten it at he he doesn't eat at Iceland what he said yes yes yes there's horse meat but only the best horses only liping dinners Li Pon no poor horse yeah okay that's that's not the exact right answer we can go now to Richard I checked once a month when I'm in the shower sorry I'm confused I cann't fit all of it in sorry I'm confused why would you ask me if I check for horse meat because that would imply that I was sort of looking for it which would implicate me um so I probably try and that question that's that's almost I mean that's almost what he said have a little look at what he actually said constantly testing check in every week did we test for horse no but we haven't tested for dog or cat either might be dog and cat you can't test everything I wanted to see list every animal we knew then and run out at puma and then and then you walk in the background he goes oh cow okay so no one got that next question I asked you what event prompted BBC news reporter Simon McCoy to say plenty more to come from here of course none of it news this one we have got wrong what what did you go for Richard gang bang inside the whole place is going to blow uh Dar what what did you go for we pretend the opening of the old news Museum y oh but that's still news that Jonathan I don't know what Jack was sing it Jack the weather none of it news we've still got more stuff to come none of it news so that is what happened next let's take a look uh well plenty more to come from here of course none of it news uh because that'll come from Buck Palace but that won't stop us but until then we're going to be speculating about this Royal birth there no facts to hand back to you Ben so it was the royal birth it was the the birth K William had had was this big news in America oh yes it was a boy named George and we were like yay we went back to our sad life let's have a little look at the roal family here here they are there four generations wow he got long body George looks like there when you pick a cat up and its feet are stuck to the carpet and its body body goes really [Laughter] long well I'm not quite sure that's what's going on but yeah okay question number three Steve Carell asked you what caused windows in over 4,000 buildings to shatter in Russia this year did you know a big old meteor big old meteor caused 4,000 Windows yeah okay no Richard what what did you put uh we put asteroid or some other space business well that feels that feels pretty good that's pretty cool yeah Jack Jonathan we put Miley Cyrus on a ball I thought maybe ball smashed the we I've got a joke for Jack to do which is kind of more family friendly than the material is used to doing tell me now this this is going to work for you support him in this St it's going to be a whole new career the windows shouldn't have broken in Russia because they had only just been [Applause] Putin all right so should we have a little look let's have a look this is the meteorin question what's this the asid Good Junes yeah wow all right I asked you uh why a marriage proposal in July got tweeted about written about the independent and mentioned in the official parliamentary records what did you get I thought a dog proposed to a cat because that's a lovely story uh Dar what what did you go with we said it's a gay thing and I put two little love hearts but actually wouldn't look like man so I give him an ey uh so we think it's you know gay marriage that's gay marriage and no Richard what did you get gay marriage yeah uh so point for Dar and chrisen a point for Nolan Richard it was the first gay marriage proposal the first ceremonies expected to take place in March 2014 and the first marriage proposal was between Ed forom and Russell eagling congratulations boys and finally we saw the children of Mitchell Primary School performing an unusual School play what event were they acting out did you get this spy man uh what what did you get D then Edward Snowden was the Spy man's name although he wasn't actually yeah it wasn't his spying he just opened up the files so of the spies of the n and people got really upset because oh my God they're spying and you going to go people were mildly upset I I think with the age of YouTube and Twitter people are like oh someone's watching me all the time actually sexy OHA often when I step out of the shower I go who's watching now particular I've only got two followers but I've always got the NSA don't I don't I you there boys I've got a joke for you about this Spiderman he he was he and he they locked him in a building and he couldn't get out because he was snowed in what did you guys get no Richard we got snow down snow down Fine near enough Armageddon Waters ship down I thought I saw a rabbit but it wasn't as a child and I thought I saw Bruce Willis near enough I think everyone gets a point there everyone gets a point well let's check in on the scores uh Jack and Jonathan have one point count them one uh uh Dar and Christian and nol and Richard both got three first that's all for one see you in a [Applause] bit welcome back to the big fat quiz of 2013 this round is all about the year in TV and movies Peter Capaldi was announced as the new Doctor Who we all have different opinions on who the best doctor was just like we all have different opinions on on who the second worst was after Sylvester McCoy Simon Cal announced he's going to become a father he's not revealed if he's expecting a boy or a girl or indeed a group Greg Wallace allegedly punched a man in the face at a dinner event over claims the man groped his girlfriend's backside he wasn't annoyed that the man felt of his girlfriend just that he said it was soggy tasteless and with a terrible texture let's remind ourselves what we were watching this year I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone I crashed my car into the GD I let it I threw your [ __ ] into a bag and pushed it down the stairs I crash my car into the bridge I don't care I love it I don't care I got this feeling on the sum when you yes yes don't I it I don't care I [Applause] [Music] don't compensating okay so big F questions now uh for off first question it's over to two of my favorite teachers from educating Yorkshire Mr Mitchell and Mr Burton yes this show is so good do now educating Yorkshire was full of incredible and sometimes very moving Moments One of the most memorable was when Mr Burton here helped musharaf overcome his stammer but can you remember what technique I used were they mumbling cuz it sounded terrible that's that's a Yorkshire accent that's how that's how they talk in Yorkshire sorry they say things like Tin Tin Tin what does that mean that means it isn't in the tin Tin Tin Tin no Tin Tin Tin okay so so uh mushara mushara had a start one of the teachers helped him to overcome it how did he overcome him it's an incredible powerful wonderful moment the TV did I cried so much when I watched that oh my God for you in my mind yeah I cry too much you cry everything everything I cried at an episode of Deal or No Deal the other day all this woman wanted was to take her daughter on holiday and then she got a blue at the end and I I just went completely uh spoiler alert I haven't seen it do you not know D it is the most amazing show ever basically this guy opens all these boxes and in one of them is a severed head you don't know which one it's going to be in and then you just got to deal with it or not deal with it okay next question very simple what happened inside this box that's Mariela fostr yeah uh yeah it's the book show no the other show you next question in January this year Quinton Tarantino had a fairly Lively interview with Channel 4 news but what memorable phrase did Tarantino use during the interview your handwriting like a doctor's hand I'm [ __ ] yeah I [Music] am okay next question Joey Essex was everyone's favorite on I'm a celebrity this year in the jungle he admitted he wasn't able to do two basic things what were they there's a point on offer for each yep yep got it got it that's a got it sure you know I love Joey was on Splash last year and he went up the high Bard and he said oh bit scared up here mate this is a bit scary and he and Tom daddy said well it's like a second home to me went you you live here okay finally it's over to my favorite Bake Off contestant Ruby tando Hi Jimmy we all had our Bake Off disasters at one point or another but the unluckiest of all was Paul Howard who managed to lose his costard can your teams remember what happened to it you remember this that that's not a euphemism no but the way Ruby said it there didn't help anyone did it how did he lose his custard thank you Ruby okay have you all got answers yeah we did okay fabulous Mr Burton and Mr Mitchell asked you how musharaf overcame your stammer in educating yure who got this we went for a gluten-free diet and tickles get off that gluten get your tick tuck straight yeah no Richard prolonged sarcasm oh uh Jack Jonathan what have you got the answer that's what we've got took his parents hostage yeah what let's have a look breath nice and Loud nice and proud can we like one thing and it's only because I watched the King speech quite recently all right okay one thing he does right when the because it's a very similar thing to you in that he just can't get the words out what one thing he does do is he makes him listen to some music right and then when he's listening to the music gets him to do it again okay see have you got your phone with no right let plug it into mine I'll put you some awful music on right you ready no yes there okay that's right go 1 two three the moment when after many years of hard work that I own this is the same moment when the trees earn loose the soft arm from around you the birds take back back their language you never found as it was always the other way around BL that's insane bu your up everyone it's amazing yeah it's really lovely okay I ask you what happened inside this box what did you get that box that looks like tron's shed what have you got answer wise water rafting that culminates in sex sexy beers well we didn't specifically know about the water rafting in there but definitely there were sexy beers Dar people do doing sex people doing sex what inside the box in the Box no holdie were you it was Mo Farah he saw Mo far completed it moof far was in that you saw him I've realized I was thinking of the cube and this is a different show but I bet if mof Farah did this show he it as well that was the box from Channel 4 sex box let's have a look in a few minutes a will enter this box they'll have sex and then immediately afterwards come out and talk frankly about what they did to me a panel of internationally renowned sex experts and in front of our studio audience welcome to sex box like how do they know they really did it they yeah just be like yeah we did it and woo you know and they were just sitting in the box like just like okay let's go okay next up I asked you what memorable phrase Quinton Aro used when he didn't like one of Christian Guru Murphy's questions on Channel 4 News did you get this yes he said I don't have to answer that you're not my mommy I can tell you that's not right uh Dar Christen it it may look like I've written I'm shatting your ass down but that is just merely bad handwriting on my part uh I'm shutting your ass down no Richard what did you put no he said I'm shutting your butt down uh let's have a look yeah yeah this so you don't want to talk about anything serious yeah I don't want to talk about what you want to talk about I don't want to talk about about the implications of violence I I I I haven't wanted I've been because and the reason I don't want to talk about it cuz I've said everything I have to say about it if anyone cares what I have to say about it they can Google me and they can look for 20 years what I have to say about I haven't changed my I my Cho my my opinion one iota no but you you haven't you haven't fleshed it out that that that's the only reason it's not my job to flesh it out no it's my it's my job to try and ask you to and I'm shutting your butt down so uh Dar Kristen you get points no Richard you get points Jonathan Jack you get nothing there Fair okay next I asked you what two basic things Joey Essex revealed he couldn't do on I'm a celebrity did you know CET and crochet which are very hard to do at the same time and he gets confused between them so whenever he tries to do crochet he does it with a mallet uh D Chris Z read and write it's that right it's weirder than that okay and no Richard what do you go for make decisions and [Music] oscillate oh let's have a look do it pick your nose if you have to I can't blow my nose can't you why never learned how to do it go like your mouth and bl I can't do it I can't go like that so I have to go like that things that you don't really need to know I don't really know he sounds so stupid yeah learn do laces and stuff obviously cuz that's what I needed to obviously time my La up for the rest of my life but blind you no I can just do you don't have to do it the professional way say you can just do it the joy way 15 30 30 minutes plus N I can tell the time on the digital but I can't tell it on an actual like like a round one what goes like that I you know I retract any feeling that we were harsh yeah this is the best TV you've got SE in a box can I just say really this is really picity and so annoying and I don't want to come back to it but if you do play cro you do have to go clockwise play so technically not knowing how to tell the he wouldn't be able to play cro if you went anticlockwise you'd be disqualified and you'd lose the game the idea he can't blow his nose is to really like he can't do it like a professional that was the amazing bit like a pro I can't do it like a pro you know these Pro guys they're good I booked them for children's parties all the time they come in and they do across the room finally Ruby from bov asked you what happened to Howard's custard did anyone remember he piped it into Paul Hollywood Soggy Bottom is that AOW well that's just a bit of silly radio for slap and tickle uh what what have you got n Richard he just forgot where it was that is almost the definition of using it seems reasonable Dar Christen um I think somebody stole it somebody used his Custard in in their Tri for okay so we're going it was Deborah uh we're going to show it now if you're of a sensitive disposition it might be an idea to look away pretty upset myed oh no I'm so sorry Howard what's happened I used Howard's custard by error we're both in the same fridge and I forgot what my bowl was and I've used his I haven't used it all but I am really upset this is this is like a it's like a recurring nightmare so now you've taken possession of Deborah's custard and his own and I'm really Sor got some of my own Jerry Jerry more English TV gold there for you wow someone use my custard [ __ ] hell but she didn't use it all did she there was a bit there but he still have to go and make more [ __ ] hell no how did he COPE in the kitchen there can't have been any more card there how many times have you make custard oh it's really hard I buy it you can get it in cartons okay time now for a special bonus round about movies I'm going to show you pictures from three of the biggest movies of the year which have all been subtly improved all you've got to do tell me the names of the films okay y ready for this here's your first one I think Jimmy looks brilliant yeah that's a better haircut than what you got now come on I like your hair now oh boo boo okay next one oh my jeez noral pictures Jimmy at home in his onesie there I like that haircut too on you thank you very much okay and the third one that's quite good hair for that image made my orbs Fizz slightly your orbs what I'm saying Jimmy is if I was drunk in Candon I would get off of you you look know you're coming out of a gorilla's vagina a tiara would not develop in a gorilla's W there's there's not the pressure to create that kind of rock okay let's let's have a look see what you got Star Trek behind the candleabra okay uh Dar although I think we've misspelled and actually written second was behind the candle bra very different fil behind the candle br pretty acceptable I think and what what have you gone for noan Richard Star St two Liber behind the candra great great Gap great Gap well you're all three for three it was of course Mr Spock in Star Trek Michael Douglas behind the candleabra and I was K Mulligan in The Great Gatsby let's see what that's done to the scores okay Jack and Jonathan have four points no and Richard have eight in the lead uh Christen and dar with nine points now in a last Stitch attempt to inject some life into the British economy here are some ads I wonder if there's any sales [Applause] on Welcome Back to the big fat quiz of the Year this round is all about the year in music David Bowie surprised Everyone by releasing his first album in 10 years his previous album was released on something called a CD and you got it from a place called a record shop which was a building you actually had to go to and you had to pay for it it was rubbish the Spice Girls musical Viva Forever closed after just 6 months the problem was the casting turns out it's quite hard to find actresses who can't sing or dance K Jimmy K Jimmy jimy Jimmy Jimmy thank you for your support we're hoping that'll catch on as a kind of Nationwide catch F Bonnie represented the UK in this year's Eurovision song contest Bonnie wrote the song in Wales recorded it in Nashville and [ __ ] it up in Sweden right time for some more questions um first it's over to xfactor judge and pop impressario Louie Walsh Louie hi Jimmy how are you now I know what it's like to be in the glare of the public eye just like celebrity super couple Kim Kardashian and Kanye West they had a baby daughter in June and everyone wanted to know what they would call her can your teams remember remember what it was oh yeah yeah yeah okay so we all know this no let's try and get some valuable points in look at Brucey I love that song don't you love that Cano song Back bound to is kind of it's like the most mental song ever and it's kind of Genius honey I know it's hard to be in it's all like that you just then we should do it she's lying on the thing don't do it no no she's not that into it bring out the b the motorcycle the motorcyc the motorcycle yeah and then he's is it on the motorcycle is it going okay if you could just come out and talk frankly about what you've just done next up which controversial chart topper has been banned in 20 UK universities led to an American dance coach being fired at a lawsuit with Marvin Gay who was responsible for all of that this year start saying bang in the middle of songs because he a lot of people you know could they don't know what's what but I do okay next question Beyonce got into trouble for not doing something at Barack Obama's inauguration can you remember what it was yeah yeah the answer can't just be yes I can remember to write down what it was You' incorrectly framed the question I CLA my point I know uh during the chart rundown on April 14th BBC Radio refused to play the number two single in Fall can you tell me why oh yes you okay you're sure y finally it's over to the channel 4 Newsroom where John Snow has a special bulletin about one of this year's biggest hits over to you John an American building contractor is facing legal action after it emerged that she inadvertently demolished her residence whilst trying to gain entry she issued an apology to the homeowner insisting I never meant to start a war I just wanted you to let me in and adding that she just closed her eyes and swung this is not the first time the woman's professional conduct has been called into question as she was previously found licking tools and oper in heavy machinery while fully nude John there God bless him um okay so what hit song was John reporting on yes yes what's the song called again balls well that's very much the question Jack okay all right first up Louis Walsh asked you what Kim and Kanye call their baby did you know Fred West it's a lovely man D Kristan it's north north and no Richard North by Northwest that's the full name his middle name is by Northwest yeah no by North West is his last it's no it's no more ridiculous than the actual name is it no it's a fabulous name yes what they did Chris in their child north um so no points for you Jack and Jonathan but everyone else guess one okay next I asked you which controversial chart topper has been banned in 20 universities led to an American dance coach being fired and a lawsuit with Marvin Gay did you get it aled Jones a lot of people see aled on TV and they think there he is face of an Angel voice of an Angel but behind closed doors he is absolutely Bonkers Christian Dara yeah yeah what have you gone for we've gone for creepy Robin Tech creepy creepy Robin Tech why creepy he's just creepy look at him you clean him with a wire brush dirty sleazy get out of here yeah he's horrible he's I've really taken against really have G against I'm okay with them I mean the lyrics are are a bit date rapy I know you want it I know you want it I know you're saying one thing but I know yeah yeah those not be the actual lyrics but the so no means yes yeah basically it might as well be no it's it's called Blurred Lines but basically the cont the idea is what what was that no oh yeah whatever is such an ambiguous word though it mean it's a nightmare for me cuz my name sounds like no no North Norwest let's carry on now it's very ambiguous when someone says I don't want you to have sex with me what do they mean by are they te I just don't know where you stand these days let's have let's have a quick look at Robin th's blood [Music] lines I know you it [Music] me what a pray just an idiot yeah he's just an idiot an idiot I don't think he's mean I don't he even knows what it means he's just a [ __ ] idiot I sat I did a show I sat next to him I mean his legs were like so thrust apart and the the big bulging crotch was in your face and it was just all so unnecessary you know you want it awful the show I was on was um Alan car Chatty Man which is actually a great show don't know if anyone's seen it so tune in Hees he does great interviews yeah but but he mainly gets beist okay next up I asked you what Beyonce didn't do Obama's inauguration did you know yes we believe she didn't sing she mimed there and I'm saying she didn't sing uh but apparently it wasn't actually Beyonce because Beyonce could make it so they had to send Beyond be work D Christian well I I I think I got the she she Li sink she didn't sing No Richard what did you get miming singing singing miming singing that's the right answer everyone gets a point I asked you why BBC Radio refused to play the number two single in fall on April 14th did you know cuz it was she young man D Christian T just died and it was ding on the wit is dead and they said they play an excert of and explain why it was in the chart rather than making every the entire thing which probably Fair because actually once you got the gag s It Go for three minutes of that like I get the joke you got this Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead it was dingdong The Witch's dead from The Wizard of O which reappeared in the judge following Margaret th's death okay finally John Snow reported on one of the biggest hits of the year did you know what it was um yes Miley Cyrus and the song was it was where she on me but she's on the wrecking ball no Richard you got this yeah Christian D oh Wrecking Ball Wrecking Ball and Her Sexy Face why is why think she's being oh she's awful she's all all gone sexual there's nothing sexual about some goinging there it you know do that again with your tongue cuz you look a bit like it if we give you the hairsty get your tongue out oh yeah look at that wow hot let's have a look at Mar ARS love all I wanted was to break you out all you ever did was I met Miley cus on a show actually I was doing um Graham Norton on the a good that's a good show is it it's great show she's actually very nice it back when she was in the Disney days she's quite alist okay all right time for a very special guest ladies and Gentlemen please welcome the new landlord of the queen Vic it's Danny Dyer everyone so Mick Carter you're the new landlord of the uh the queen Vic yeah yeah how do you think you're going to die any senders everyone they either get run over or there's a gas explosion or occasionally shot if you had to put a bet on now no no no I want to do an bill I want to ask me now done I'm [ __ ] I'm I'm I'm I want to stay 20 stretch you know what I mean I'm a 20 stretch yeah very few actors talk about jobs in terms mean I did very few prisons are impressed by where did you do your 20 threat tenders oh how was your Christmas Danny did you have a couple of jaars and get off your [ __ ] nut most bit of goose bit of goose that's copy rhyming slang for slag yeah it is shut up Goosey rag slag it's not how was your year good did a film called Vendetta out now come out on the 23rd it's a strong piece of work Jack you've seen it very good came out on the 23rd closed on the 25th brilant it didn't it is really good is is violent though isn't it very violent very scary it Jack's trying to get a bit tough there it's it's violent in it and go that croquet rule okay come on question time got a question course you're the new landlord of the queen v s I'm the new landlord of the queen VI I've just said that I was saying D are you wearing leggings or what they we caught you in the middle of a Shakespeare play [ __ ] can you pette can you make it look that like you look like you're in panto that's all the second half of the Nutcracker starts soon I think they're called jeggings yeah that is a blir line right there AIG big lot because they're quite feminine if you want to see our real man dress no stand up and show us I must be the only person in it who thinking these jeans are a bit baggy come on Danny question what I'm the little the queen V we know lford called she wants her [Applause] top come let's do it what it's not as easy as it looks it's a it's a right poxy question all right then you get this stay you're the landlord of the point all right go on I'm still with you just this year yeah yes yes realistic right this year weather spoons announced are open a new pub in a questionable location can you remember where I couldn't give one [ __ ] at this okay you all write something down so weather spoons are opening up up in a questionable location was how long have you been on the show how long have you been filming these is it hard is it hard work [ __ ] to be honest [ __ ] shattered you need this like a hole in the head yeah okay okay Jack and Jonathan what have you got yeah we don't know for sure Alber Square next to the queen VI we a little picture of of the landlord all okay what have you got Dar and thought maybe some in or on the river but we also do a little picture of Danny okay and no Richard what did you put drain pipe Village they actually opened a pub called The Hope and champion on the uh the services on the M40 sit yeah e see us [Applause] later everyone right let's have a look and see what that's done for the scores Jack and Jonathan have got six star and Christian have 14 null and Richard have 13 for quick seeing to [Applause] welcome back to the big fat quiz 2013 this round is all about the year in sport cyclist Lance Armstrong confessed all on Oprah about his drug use oper said Armstrong was emotional and intense well that's drugs for you as well as confessing to taking drugs the cyclist also admitted pedling Andy Murray stormed of victory at Wimbledon in July it was 77 years since the last Englishman won Wimbledon Fred Perry who had to beat Ben Sherman Ted Baker and Ron super dry along the way I'm not saying Andy Murray is D but he took his victory champagne and put it in the fridge to save for a special occasion okay uh time for some questions first one in July this year Andy Murray stormed to victory at Wimbledon but what teenage Behavior were Hollywood actors Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper caught doing at the final you should write some jokes for him are always like it was a really tough man he really want a lot he's like Superman and he that was really a joke for him Jimmy you selfish [ __ ] I he's a lovely fell he's been he's dropped into Mark we twice think was sport relief for us he's great he laugh at himself lovely fell everyone's all what are you going out with him why don't you marry him you can now from March I can where did you watch the match from I watched the match from inside his tennis bag he didn't know I was there it was brilliant I was in there amongst the Sweatman and his old pants handing him bananas handing him lucazade he loved it it was a really a very good Andy Murray okay next question how did the normally Gentile Oxford and Cambridge boat race land the BBC in trouble with ofcom this year have you seen the Oxford Cambridge boat race never wait I did I saw it on um social network oh yes social you're right it was in The Social Network well it's a real thing how did they get into trouble with the BBC they showed coverage of that and they got lots of things in the film The Social Network are real things nobody thinks they invented like rowing for the sake of the film The Social Network and then ever ever since that film came out it's not like Americans watching it thinking that's like quiddit it doesn't really happen next it's over to the chpi man in pop olle Ms yeah hi Jimmy olly M here now when I'm not in the studio making records I'm no stranger to the football pitch but can your teams tell me what was unusual about the new signing to donc cter Rover's Reserve team this year so uh Christen very much a question for you there Doncaster Rovers what was unusual about their signing come on this must have been big news in America it was big news in America okay so uh over to Christine huru for our next question hi Jimmy now I've had a pretty good 2013 I won a gold medal at the world championships for the second time and I was named athlete of the year for a third time it was also a big year for David Beckham who signed for Paris San gerain in January his last club before retiring but can your teams tell me what he immediately did with all the money okay oh did you know that oh wow knows a lot of stuff he really does yeah but Beck an achievement it doesn't look like it but he knows do not I do if I was David Beckham and I had all that money in international Fame first thing I do I would go up to those people that do the caricatures in Leicester Square and just buy the one of myself do you know the way they always have a David Beckham there ready to go it's like an example how sweet would that be everyone else is queuing it takes ages to get through good be you just turn up yeah off that one off the shelf and off I go with all your money I like David Beckham he was on my show with Will fowell couple of [ __ ] aists there he came he came on your show then but two weeks prior to that I definitely saw him on the Alan titch M show he's seeing other hosts okay let's get some answers first off I asked you what teenage Behavior Geral Butler and Bradley Cooper were caught doing during The Wimbledon final they blanked Jonathan Ross no Jonathan was there at the final and he was trying to be friends and oh you come on my sh and they were like [ __ ] off they were you were both there at that point we were well I was there with Jimmy Yeah Yeah we actually saw it he worked up before I know you were trying to FL with them like oh I'd love to have you on Bradley and they're like I'm afraid with book for loose women D Christian uh they were jumping about and high-fiving and break dancing break they they brought Lineo and they spun on their heads they um they were high-fiving each other and no okay what n Richard necking and texting and giving each other exclamation kisses Eskimo kisses yes with the nose and could you know yeah we could but we just would rather such a SL I'll give you one we'd rather we'd rather have sex in the Box no one want to do that the answer was the answer was that they were they were spotted actually taking a selfie taking long selfie there of themselves yeah taking a selfie sent to PA gr saying please let me on your show otherwise okay I asked you how the boat race landed the BBC in trouble with ofcom uh what did you put we put no OES yeah so they were doing it like you know when you're in the bath and you can't get the hot water down D Christ I didn't know I I I thought nip flipped Oh that's oh what's that list every stroke little singlets moving to the Sid worse than nip slips is if your [ __ ] slips out I mean very much rowing past and you said swearing as well nol and Richard uh Cox did a swear yeah yeah there was a little bit of swearing uh Oscar zerilla the Oxford [ __ ] swore all the way through fa yeah but he's the Cox like it doesn't matter what he says he's if CLA balding said it's time for the [ __ ] boat race you could complain but he's the C next up OE Ms asked you what was unusual about Don cast Rover's new Reserve signing did you get it he is a she well I think Dar got I yeah it's a member of I think it's One Direction I can't be you know but one of those bands so our answer is still valid he is a she I love no Richard One Direction that's right the answer is it's Louis Tomlin from One Direction is their new Reserve signing for D Rover w wow there he is he's the one on the right yeah okay next up Christine auru asked you what David Beckham did with all his wages when he signed for Paris sgain any ideas over to Jonathan I think he was going to a market and he exchanged the money for some magic beans Victoria was Furious she threw the beans out the window overnight a giant bean sto grew and young David went up the beant stalk he was very brave but he was also scared because there's a giant living at the top of it f I smell I smell a range of colog okay Don uh Christian he gave his money to Children's Charities okay no he bought new shim pads no charity we put look at the start charity or flat screen 3D Ena TV I can see the charity there so the answer was DAV be gave all his wages to a French children's charity but he's regretting that now he's got support a wife and four kids on his pension and now for a bonus question it's over to the big fat quiz's Masterpiece Theater where actor Charles Dan is reading from a celebrity biography published this year chapter five I sometimes have to pinch myself when I think of what I'm doing and how lucky I am not long ago I was out and Steven Gerard the England player came up to me and shook my hand and was like I love the show I always watch it I nearly choked on my vodka I couldn't believe it it was crazy and I was like WTF we had some banter and I couldn't get my head round it my legs were like jelly LOL by the time I got invited to jia's birthday party of M and swapped numbers of Pixie lot the most starst I've ever been is when I sort of met beon at her perfume launch I love Beyonce but unfortunately she had a load of security around her so I had to just look at her sad face then there was that time I was late for the Twilight premere and ended up on the red carpet next to Taylor lner and Robert pson I fancy a pair of them I definitely wouldn't say no and I couldn't believe it was happening and that I was actually next to them it was brilliant #the Good Times Charles answer good okay so what celebrity autobiography was that from why have you all got something yeah I want okay so uh Jack you've gone for he went for baronet trumpington of a sandwich almost the opposite of that Dar and Christian we've G for a legendary cleric Bishop Desmond Tutu it's the tech speak that it away no Richard he put his own autobiography it might be a Double Bluff he didn't seem to even be looking at the book it was like he lived it it was reading by candle light it was like Sano de there's no way he could have been reading words that didn't even look like the book no it was leather bound that was something out of a jumble cell at the props Department the whole thing's a [ __ ] sham let's go back and see that was an extract from secrets of an Essex Girl by Lauren guo I did not a maze I actually don't she's in she's in the only way as Essex all right let's see what that's done to the scores okay so Jack and Jonathan have six points no and Richard have 16 Dar and Christian in the lead with 17 points at this stage for two and [Applause] three welcome back to the big fat quiz this round is all about the people who made this year memorable Tommy Robinson quit as head of the edl which is a shame as I was just thinking about switching my gas and electric to them he quit because he said there were too many farri extremists which is a bit like giving up grinder because you keep meeting gay men 17-year-old Paris Brown resigned from being Britain's first youth police and crime commissioner after tweeting about taking drugs having sex and getting drunk she's now head of the co-op bank okay ready for more questions straight over to the walking encyclopedia from pointless Richard Osman hi Jimmy hi everyone hope you're having a good time now it's a fairly well-known TV fact that because I'm Richard out of pointless I never get anything wrong however this year the Vatican did get something wrong they had to recall 6,000 coins they had issued to commemorate the inauguration of Pope Francis why did they have to recall them can your teams remember the Fairly major mistake that they made okay so the coins to commemorate the inauguration of Pope Francis had something wrong with them what was it next question Justin Bieber had a hell of a year he punched a photographer he had his tour bus raided was allegedly filmed leaving a brothel in South America even had his pet monkey confiscated by German authorities but how did a visit to Amsterdam prove particular controversial go into all the papers a big story yeah doesn't mean we obliged to read it I I I I think you'll like this one be that may okay I think you know this I I don't believe I do you say I don't believe I do you did say that you did subconsciously you're a Believer we should write that down you're what down I don't I don't believe it and that could be a new catchphrase I don't believe it don't believe it kill Jimmy kill yay okay next question I'm very excited to say we're going over to the one the only will Ferell hi Jimmy now as you know former President George W bush has given me a lot of great material over the years but even I felt a Pang of sympathy for him when his emails were hacked this year the leaks revealed he'd taken up an extraordinary new hobby can your teams tell me what it was no that's wrong that's it's correct it's not only wrong it's probably lious it's not I do the politics questions you do the silly Justin Bieber on that's how it work the dynamic okay next question MEP Godfrey Bloom caused embarrassment for ukip this year after a string of high-profile gaffs can you name one of his gaffs what did he do oh yeah what was that okay final question Dame Helen mirin hit the headlines for doing something rather unexpected while dressed as the queen what was it oh yeah yes that is not what happened yeah it could be I would do that she would have woken up okay has everyone got something we'll go for the answers first up Richard Osman asked you what mishap beell the set of commemorative coins produced for folk prances this year did you know yes they were chocolate coins okay D Kristen I thought the worst thing that you could give um them would be melted down Wiccan nickels a a wian nickel W nickel melt down into the the PS witch oh my God can I just say that photo looks like baby George all grown up that is weird from the background is he going through a Stargate okay Richard no they had condoms on them all the coins had condoms on them so no one got that I can tell you the answer the answer was 6,000 coins had to be recalled because they said leus instead of Jesus isus the lizard Jesus Jesus yeah next up I asked you what Justin Bieber did in Amsterdam that proved particularly controversial did anyone know well Jonathan's just put an Frank Frank the question was what did he do he we need to elaborate there he went to the an Frank Museum and he signed in the book saying I think an Frank would be a no no no please give poor Justin believer a chance he said I do hope she might I wonder if she might have been a Believer which is not necessarily A Bad Thing to wonder especially if as he probably was you're off your [ __ ] tits on marijuana a friend of mine went to Amsterdam and took some magic mushrooms and went to the an Frank Museum and thought it was like an interactive thing where it was like where's Wally and ended up trying to rip off one of the radiators cuz he thought he heard someone behind it but it's not embarrassing cuz as I say it happened to a friend of mine Christian Christian did you know this one I do know yeah it's just what Jonathan said he said Anne Frank would love him you know he thinks Anne Frank would would have loved him and and I think that's really beautiful and for people who are like that's so gross it's like what how do they know what she would have loved like she'd be like a bride eyes fan or something well it's it's a fine and complete answer nol and Richard an Frank stuff that was good enough from you what happened was he visited Anne Frank's house and wrote in the guest book truly inspiring to be able to come here an was a great girl hopefully she would have been a bber that's fine it's fine also come on he was like 16 if my son when he was 16 went to Amsterdam and I found out he gone to the end Frank I'd be [ __ ] amazed lot to do in after it's a good point that's the most proud I've been to be British this year CU like last year we had the Olympics we had the royal wedding like national pride was at an all-time high and I thought we were never going to get that again and then in February Dustin Bieber came to this island and within four days we broke the [ __ ] up proud of ourselves you should be proud of yourselves and next will farell asked you what extraordinary hobby George W Bush was revealed to have taken up anyone get it y he wrote the wrong thing no stalking and then I put Dash deer not women so he's a hunter he likes hunting so it's he was stalking deer it's it's a practice where you follow deer that's not the answer you could not be more wrong he paints portraits of himself and of dogs and he's actually not that bad and I just wish he would have believed in himself and had enough confidence to become an artist before he got into his presidential things he only really given it a go know same with Hitler to a certain extent you just stuck with the painting Dage could he have done you know he painted portraits of himself in the bath didn't he in the bathroom well that that's very specific let's have a look at some of the [Music] paintings it's all right it's a pretty good dog I mean that's a grown man that was the most powerful man in the world that did that so well done y that's pretty [ __ ] cool that's all right I give no this one's better this one this next one look at that who's that in miror Chris in prison okay next up I asked you if you can name one of Godfrey Bloom's gaffs this year how did you get on he called women at one of the S of breakout meetings at ukip's party he referred to women as slots uh that that that is one of the things he did uh Jack Jonathan he was he's The Bongo Bongo man as well isn't he he the one who talked about sending people out the Bongo Bongo and we put [ __ ] gate cuz we popularized it in that way okay no Richard we put he said something that wasn't racist and then we put bongol land in the corner I'm presuming the one you have the one you have is is when he hit a he hit somebody with a catalog he hit a Channel 4 reporter with a r with a Brer brocher that somebody point out there are no black faces on your Montage of ukip supporters so all about for a second and weighed up the Frozen cons of of the Advent just hit him hit him he hit him over the head and called him a racist let's have a look Mr Blom what you make of the front cover of this uh your the conference brochure with no black faces on it after interiew what a racist comment is that how dare you that's an appalling thing to say you're picking people out for the color of their skin you disgust me get out what's calling about that point R you sir are a racist why why am I racist for saying there aren't AR people and you've checked out the color of people's faces disgraceful disgrace that's the TV that's TV that reminds me so much of my dad when he found out that our local news agents were stalking the guardian you bastards he also said British Aid shouldn't be sent to Bongo bongoland but you know what he is why because if we're sending a to Bongo bongoland that's wrong because it doesn't [ __ ] exist it's where they make un Bongo Final Answer final answer I asked you what unexpected thing Helen mirin did whilst dressed up as the queen did you know scaring people in Madam two swords oh that would be so much fun in the middle of the show she's doing the whatever the place she's doing in the West End and there a drummers drumming outside and she left the show mid show I think she was in the middle of one of the acts and said I'll be back in a minute or whatever doing I don't do the Queen's voice one must go and CH some drummers to [ __ ] off went outside and turned old Danny Dy on them F drum you and then have to go I'm sorry no Rich tell Dr to [ __ ] off well I've got the direct quote which was shut the [ __ ] up up people have paid [ __ ] £100 for their theater tickets to a group of Dramas outside the theater she had but what if she accidentally stumbled into stomp so it's that part of the show where I introduce a mystery guest all you have to do is guess who they are and how they made the news this year ladies and gentlemen our mystery [Applause] guest okay so you can only ask questions that you can answer yes or no did you get your tight from Danny Dyer no were you in Spice Girls the musical no congratulations yes welcome is your name Amanda Knox yes know did you appear on television yes uhhuh did you appear on it um unwillingly no you was the situation blurred yes did you win Master Chef no is it a cooking show no is it um a performing show yeah are you the lady that operates Bruce foresight so it's a big show on television big reality show not that big there was a new story off the back of this it was a huge reality show and there was a new story off the back of it CU it was such an extraordinary thing that happened have you been on the Jonathan Ro I it's big show you said another clue would be you on you were on a show and I think it is fair to say that you were not uh you not invited yes I know you threw an egg at someone yes write down your answers he gave the whole answer to everyone you didn't say what was it again ruin it yes okay let's see what everyone Jack Jonathan you went with we went with through egg on cowl Richard we just went with th an egg at someone on Britain's Got Talent threw an egg like Jack Jack so tell them who you are my name is Natalie Holt and I threw some eggs at Simon Cal yeah what's the back story for it anyway I never really got why you did it well I just thought Simon cow's got too much power and influence in the music industry so I thought I'd I thought it'd be funny to throw an egg at him and you young lady were correct that was very funny let's have a look at you in action the unreachable the [Music] unre and dream The Impossible Dream [Music] come on everyone come on I got one more question go ahead no will will you marry me holy cow I'm I'm marrying somebody else sorry oh for [ __ ] sake really good aim you were like like 30 ft away from him and you got him on the head I him twice how did it how did you get backstage and onto the stage without well I was booked to mime and backing Orchestra with the with an act that was on the show and I just thought well I could have you ever considered becoming a terrorist mly halt everyone give a round of applause let's take a quick look and see what that's done for the scores Jack and Jonathan have nine points uh nol and Richard have 21 in the lead Dar and Christian with 22 time for another break once again M give a round of [Music] applause welcome back to the big fat quiz this round is all about Lifestyle the fanss Fashions Technologies and trends of 2013 Grand Theft Auto 5 was an enormous hit this year the big moral question is does playing Grand Theft Auto affect the way one relates to hookers you've kidnapped in the real world the Sher Coke campaign launched this year advertisers discovered people all over the world enjoy having their teeth dissolved by something with their name on it right and for our first question it's over to rizle kicks what's up Jimmy now as Pop Sensations it's very important we keep ourselves looking Ship Shape these bad boys didn't happen overnight the beach one of the biggest Health fats this year was the 52 diet but can your teams explain how it actually works works so the Rizzle Kicks can we have another look at the Rizzle kick there one of them looks as if he might be solving a murder that would be Harley that's Harley I love The Wiz kcks I love RZ kicks than Harley do you really love rizle kicks I love do you go to their gigs I I have never miss I hate people who are only getting on the Rizzle Kicks bandwagon now H because I was there when they were just starting off okay next question have a look at this clip of a woman sitting down to a bite to eat why was this newsworthy here she is she's eating a bit of burger there why did that make the news why on Earth would that be a story Jonathan what have you got what's going on well last year um Jack had some pizza delivered because it's boxing day oh you've got some bread yeah we thought we'd make some food for us oh what have you got I've got some bread and we got some turkey last year I ordered pizza for everyone a lovely gesture this year you brought your old turkey thank you Jonathan you're so generous wow oh and yeah just go go ahead with your hands no we just you can have Mayo if you want Jonathan this is the least appetizing thing I've ever seen we allowed to eat this Jonathan yes are there any vegetarians here in the audience stop squeezing the sandwich what is this process don't Crow turkey people know J makes a sandwich right J put Things Between the Bread and then squeezes really hard to leave it imp that's called a post Christmas sandwich little of a qu here what noise did you just make J that was the bottle Jim me I've also got some presents for people these are and I'm regifting these are unwanted gifts I thought I would bring them in anyway want Christmas gift I don't know Jonathan oh seen that can I have that yeah you don't want to watch that you know what do you know what Jonathan did you actually go out and buy two coffees just for this no these are the ones you gave me all the fun over here I'm going to put some turkey in this if we put your jacket on the turkey you'll look like it's alive yeah I think you should wear the turkey as a hat that's the perfect present the Jimmy C DVD with the turkey in it no this is unbelievable yeah what's happened no if Dar were to put on your coat you would look like the B and Despicable Me that [Music] would I just think it would look amazing we're all fans are Despicable Me everyone you might have to just put put oh [Applause] wow great it's like a small Scar from me your Coast is like a throw for me we should do this is just a much better way to do television show Okay carry on like this let's carry on like this am I getting yelled at right now let's carry on are you serious I love the fact that Jonathan brought out the turkey as a bit of a gag and now has eaten half a sandwich really good turkey now we just let like two people who matter a festival and they're badly coming down off of drugs don't keep qu okay let's quiz let's quiz everyone I'm ready for quiz okay time for another guest question this time it's over to astronaut Chris Hadfield hey lovely Chris hi Jimmy Chris Hadfield here this year I spent five months on the International Space Station I had the chance to photograph and tweet some incredible images of our Earth but what did I do just before I came home from space that has since been viewed over 19 million times on YouTube okay so Chris wants to know what he did in space that attracted 19 million hits on YouTube carry on with the quiz I feel so empowered just if you could if you just write down I feel like I feel like Henry the no next question you just hear Keith Richards in the face sorry I feel like I've had a really weird one night standard glom and I don't know when's the time to uh I got to get back to my tent I would give you my number but my phone's run out out of battery so let's maybe just call it quick D I get I get yourself checked seriously okay so one of my favorite actors is asking the next question it's Paul Rd everyone your favorite actors God you're such a crawler hi Jimmy now obviously I'm a major newshound and I don't miss a single scoop one story in particular caught my eye this year in November 20 3-year-old Evan Spiegel reportedly turned down an offer of $3 billion from Facebook can your teams tell me why final question on this one anyone mind if I just have a sleep just curl up you want spoon you okay night you wake me up in four [ __ ] hours when this is [Applause] over good night sweet Prince uh he a pillow for [Applause] you okay you don't need me for the rest of this too no no you be I have a little nap but over there okay come on time for a say what you see question I'm going to show you a series of pictures that spell out a phrase for example This spells null field ding yeah yeah good it's live on your desk up a bit cuz again you come colors of Wimbledon you freak it does look like you're standing on a giant tennis ball yeah it's a really tough m a ball came I had to hit it but really okay so final question say what you see so all you've got to do is say what you see here say what you see say what you see say what you see okay it is it's a technology story if that's a clue what that doesn't even make sense boom we've got it wow oh all right come on good I'm throwing turkey no don't throw turkey no throwing turkey hey that starts we've all got a lot of turkey to I think what if there's an arms right I think Jonathan's very much in the lead though okay some answers first Up rizle Kicks asked you how the 52 diet Works did anyone know five meals two fingers it's got to be here [Applause] right that is incorrect but that also works but don't try it uh no Richard two days no eating 5 days eat tson wrote that I thought it was but for every five glasses of alcohol it's two glasses of water great guy yeah the uh yeah 5 days normally eating and for two days you eat like 500 600 calories that is the that is the right answer okay so nol and Rich you get points chrisan you get points marvelous okay next question uh we saw a woman sitting down have a bite to eat what was going on here why was this newsworthy now she's smelling for horse meat see this is the point to which I've clearly walked away from the desk right smelling for HSE meat we seem to have written I know what it is I just put squiggle because I panicked but it's a woman who is trying meat and it's been made by robots oh it was a genetically mutated genetically modified meat it's not actually from an animal it was me grown in the air no what have you written genetically modified Burger yeah she was eating the world's first lab Burger the burger cost in a staggering £250,000 to make lamb lab not lamb lab cuz I've had several lamburg and they are delicious especially if you have them with tsiki I can give you the ingredients and I'll get an extra point for it okay next up Chris Canfield asked you what he did in space that got 19 million hits on YouTube did you know I put two astronauts one cup if You' thought the one on Earth was messy he's on coming on um stargazing a about a week so I'm really looking forward to aming of and I don't want them to see that what we wrote was cake farts cake farts is a big hit uh cake farts is when preferably a woman will fart on a cake and up close you can just see the icing vibrating and it's beautiful like watching sound like visually um big friend go cake Fs in space boy feels like two cup yeah or whatever I know Richard I was over there being disr Richard what did you get I put Gangham Style I was upset n you performed a version of David Bowie's space odity let's have a [Music] look i' more and I'm floating in a most pecul way and the stars look very different today okay next up Paul Rod asked you why 23-year-old Evan Spiegel turned down an offer of $3 billion from Facebook in November did you know why we didn't even hear that question was that when they were making love on the floor in front of us yeah yes we got distracted Snapchat but I don't know did he turn the money down yes he turned turned down $3 billion that's crazy talk Christen Dar what did you get for this uh we apparently got they mistook them for a starving country so you thought billion dollars like oh no I'm not a country that needs to feed all these people just some guy with an app so why would you give $3 billion I'll turn that money away so you can put it to good what a lovely sent this time of year what a beautiful thing to say I know Richard what have you put I can't even oh we got this no we didn't no no I thought he was owed more and he was haggling kind so V I'm no he was he was the guy that came up with Snapchat and he turned down $3 billion Jimmy get on with the show all right Put The Knife Down he it's a lot of fun I know who gave him a knife okay who are you crocodile [Laughter] dunde I asked you to say what you saw how did you get on deanan Ted Flem danan which is a very popular name in somewhere flame F doesn't mean anything we know no Richard 3D printed firearm let fat terrain oh 3D yeah uh Dar 3D printed firearm well you got it it's the uh the 3D printed firearm it was the Liberator gun which you could use a 3D printer to make was released this year deanan Ted flim fist that the guy that did it the guy that made the 3D printer was called was called he from Jamaica and his name was Dean now you've had a drink you're getting a little bit waste okay let's get some scores uh Jack and Jonathan have nine they're lucky to even have that and well neck and neck here Nolan Richard and dar and Christian have both got 24 points neck and neck see you after the break for the final part of the big F Que [Music] [Applause] welcome back to the big fat quiz of the Year this round is all about the talking points and Scandals That Shook the year 1 billion euro worth of art stolen by the Nazis was recovered the Nazis originally seized the art between 1939 and 1945 during what art historians call Hitler's angry period Boris Johnson was revealed to have a love child this year Boris has had a string of affairs with women or as they' become known Boris bikes everyone was worried about the false widow spider this year of course the worst thing about being bitten by a poisonous spider is that you're probably Australian okay let's have some Scandal questions our first question comes from a performance artist Muppet and self-described weirdo the great Gonzo yeah hi Jimmy it's Gonzo here one of the stars of our new movie Muppets Most Wanted and you know as a worldclass bog snorkeler and performance artist I've been in some pretty locations including this place here but none are Stranger Than The Streets of Kingston Pon TS can you tell me what unusual object was found by Tim's water staff in a sewer under those very streets great Gonzo wants to know what was discovered luy in the sewers under Kingston in West London in August this year that's true okay this year in b mayor of Toronto Rob Ford faced a series of controversies most notably being filmed smoking crack cocaine but how did he defend himself when accused of making sexual advances to a colleague Jack and jonan what what are you sitting at the back giggling we're going to smoke a cigarette later okay next up it's over to strictly Superstar Sophia Alis Speer hello Jimmy well I wore some fabulous outfits when I was on Strictly but I wasn't the only one dressing up in September a mysterious costumed figure got over 196,000 likes on Facebook which sparked a tabloid frenzy to try and unmask him can you remember who it is I can so Sophie wants to know what mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask this year what serious figure everyone wanted to unmask what mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask mysterious figure there's a mysterious figure wearing everyone who wears a mask maybe it's the person from the cube is it John Merck not John Merck no okay John MCC it was not John MCC or John Merck uh next question in what unusual location did a 14,000 Rose Garden appear this year is it like a really Posh accident black spot so Rose G where have you seen roses this year that you thought that's remarkable oh got it we've got it what move on sister have you guys got this I I have no idea I'm thinking oh that's a peculiar place for Roses finally over to the one the only Harry Hill hi Jimmy I've been supplied a question that I'm asking you as if it's one that I've come up with in August this year photos taken at a zoo in China's henan Province we came in inant a sensation but can your teams tell me why why Hi H there he's enjoying Christmas is he okay let's get some answers the great Gonzo asked you what was discovered lurking in the sewers under Kingston West London in August anyone get this yes Danny D's leggings St it's not the correct answer what did you get uh there's a giant ball of fat uh what what did you get now Richard wet whites and a water of fat the size of Canada of a gallion not Canada a gallion gallion well you you're absolutely right it was the fatb a bus-sized lump of congealed lad and wet wipes found floating in the sewer where is it now the night route down to trafala square I asked you how Toronto mayor Rob Ford defended himself when accused of making sexual advances to a colleague did anyone know we said he's got [ __ ] on tap that's sort of the right idea no Richard put blur line she didn't know that she wanted intercourse first they were like you you said that you would can say let eat her [ __ ] and he was like never I got all the [ __ ] I can eat at home like I am full that is 100% correct let's have a look at him defending himself oh and the last thing was um Olivia gond that says that I want to eat her [ __ ] gond I've never said that in my life to her I would never do that I'm happily married I've got more than enough to eat at home thank you enough more than enough that [ __ ] is just Relentless Okay Sophia Spector asked you which mysterious figure everyone wanted to unmask this year jagging man okay what did you go on no Richard he put Cojack who doesn't even wear a mask that's why so difficult to unmask [Applause] him Bravo Kristen did you get this we said the Northampton clown and that is the right answer yes basically they set up a web page called spot northampton's clown and then they post Clues as to where he would be oh Jesus necklace made out of children's shoe okay next answer I asked you uh where a £14,000 Rose Garden appeared this year did you know yes yep go on D leggings that is not not the case Dar Kristen I guess the tube because uh that what a happy thing for the tube that would really liven it up no Richard did you get this I put David Cameron's back was so close Gaga's head it's actually Cheryl Cole's back side yes it is oh [ __ ] of course yeah but how do we know that sh's backside has not been in Danny D's leggings can you imagine on a hot day in the summer the problem he has with green fly the roses look like they've been burnt they do look like burnt roses they're they're very dark aren't they maybe she was trying to blow torch the apids off we're really getting a Long View of her butt and finally Harry he'll asked you how photos of a zoo in Hanan Province in China ended up going viral did you know were they building boxes for pandas to have sex in we filmed by Channel 4 p in boxes having sex is not the right answer Kristen um you go head down yeah yeah they they replace the animal or they didn't have animals so they put dogs in into the cage instead pretending to be lions lions whatnot the dogs were had a nice man so you could be like you as a young child you could be like in awe and have a nice trip at the zoo no Richard what did you get oh we got dog disguises lion okay let's take a look so this is the lion in the in the Hanan zoo in China he looks more like a bear that is there there let's have a look at it next to a real line just so you can see just in case you forgot what a line Looks like oh Jack Jack I think I've got a joke for you I don't know what kind of a dog that is but I think it might be a shih [Applause] tzu okay let's check in on scores Jack and Jonathan have 10 points you Goose okay nol and Richard have 26 Christen and dar have 28 just in the lead okay then are to total of eight points on offer here okay so we're [ __ ] anyway there is no chance in hell you can come back for prize there's 18 points for this final question okay we're looking for three things the biggest selling single of 2013 the most watched TV event of 2013 and the biggest selling game of 2013 and all you've got to do is get all three right and you get an extra bonus two points two points is it so it's the biggest selling single of 2013 according to the um official chart company the most watched TV event of 2013 the biggest selling game of 2013 okay so two points for each and a bonus two points if you go three of them it's really between Christen and dar and Nolan Richard here we're having a fight you having a domestic dispute yeah so one more answer from you and then we're there this is it ladies and gentlemen this is the final question don't worry okay let's see what everyone got let's go to let's go to Jack and jonath you got biggest sing Single blurred line BL might have the name wrong of the next one Dar does some maths math huge is my favorite math show and I disagreed with him the last one but he argued me down the best game Boggle year is a good G it is Dar you've G dous we've gone for Get Lucky by da punk as the biggest thing she disagrees what do you think it is blood lines you think blood lines yeah picture that's what I did I went give me pen I right anyway I leave you you w big for br's Got Talent Final and we for GR florid five yeah okay and and no Richard blood lines blood lines Prince George Prince George the TV event yeah me neither okay yeah and that bit with the reporter that bit it's the biggest sure okay well I can tell you definitively the biggest selling single of the year was blood lines holla that's right honey in second place the biggest TV event of the year was of course Wimbledon the final they have been for viewing figures but not for mine okay the biggest selling game was Grand Theft Auto 5 Bogle so let's have a look and see what they done for the final scores Jack and Jonathan have got 12 points we have joint winners Dar and Kristen and nol and Richard have both got 30 points you have to share the the first in a to share this winers a big thank you to our amazing panel all our special guests thank you for watching I'm Jimmy car this has been the big 2013 good night [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] w he

Channel: Absolute Jokes

Views: 221,614

Keywords: Absolute Jokes, Big Fat Quiz of the Year, Classic TV Show, Comedy Panel, Comedy Quiz, Full Version, Giggle Fest, Hilarious Moments, Pub Quiz, Stand-up Comedy, TV Show, comedic talent, comedy legends, entertaining personalities, famous comedians, hilarious moments, humor extravaganza, humorous banter, laugh out loud, premium comedy content, pub quiz

Id: A6EwxPjdV78

Length: 180min 17sec (10817 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 27 2024