Best of Sara Pascoe and Jo Brand | Would I Lie to You? | Banijay Comedy

I have told my children that every time they lie a puppy dies somewhere now you've used this lying on the children has it actually stopped them from lying well it certainly seems to have done yeah cuz they do care about puppies yes must have been a relief actually that you're saying that didn't result in your children telling loads and loads of lies and getting excited by the prospect of puppy death it's heartening on that level I don't have sadistic children but it's also bad advice cuz what if a dog goes to attack them and they tell a lie and the dog still gets thems the nearest the nearest dog will die so you just you know statistically you'd hope fire osmosis the LIE will essentially tell the LIE dog death spreads out from you till it finds a dog the dog dies and then the wave of dog death stops can I just ask Joe why a puppy and not a kitten he's not sick it it was a difficult decision to make it was a tossup between a kitten a puppy and their dad and kind of pu of the sweetest what is your verdict my team say true you're saying true yeah okay so Joe is it true it's a lie it's a lie right one once on Christmas day I was forced to hitchhike my way home and was picked up by four different drivers these to where were you going from and to I was going from London down to Hastings how old were you uh I was about 17 and a half and because nothing was running on Christmas day or you were skinn no what happened was I was meant to go home on Christmas Eve but I missed the last train so you started your journey in London I did and how long did it take to get picked up um first not long actually 10 minutes is and he said would would you like to come back and have Christmas lunch with me I'm very lonely seriously he said that yeah what sort of a man was he h he was a gay man in his mid 70s how far did you go with him no who who no no no no no I mean how far on your journey did you go he he D I think he drove me about 10 miles something like that so that's the first person yeah and then remember the second one uh a woman yes who um picked me up round about the Elum area I think I like a you foris early on in the show we've all been picked up in the altim are we actually you're you're more accurate than you realize she she actually did make a pass at me you this is two now well um she said where' you want to go uh and I said down to the coast please oh my god oh did she go down to the coast well what she actually did was she put her arm around my neck and tried to kiss me she did what had led her to believe that this was a possibility what had happened the missl toe on the wing mirror if she tried to kiss me I opened the door and got out of the car and ran away ah so that's that's explains the Second Story right now get to the third one the third the third guy um was was death he I'll tell you what if this turns out to be a lie you deserve a medal for the for making this as least plausible as possible on route to the story but okay so he's deaf yeah right and so I I had to write down where I wanted to go uh and you said Hastings on the card yeah what did he say he didn't say anything he just started driving oh that's a bitting isn't it he didn't look scary and who was the fourth the the fourth was a a farmer he said that he was fed up with his family so he took me all the way to Hastings so he's he's having a bad day on Christmas Day decides just he'd rather drive you to Hastings well he said that he told his wife he was going out for a paper that's the end really CU he dropped me off where I was going did you invite the man in for a mince pile something you know no he didn't even invite him in no do you think that's a bit weird I don't I think it's the weirdest bit of the story he's giving you a lift all the way to Hastings on Christmas day he's the only one who hasn't made a sexual pass at you he's been entirely honorable just give him a little bit of a Min Pine and Brandy butter so what do you think there's a lot of detail in there I think it's not true based on I think she just it's got too many characters like a Tarantino film B I'm doubting is that wouldn't you just write on a piece of paper Hastings and hope someone's going to Hastings rather than anyone going sort of that way and I'll just keep getting out and getting out have you ever hitched height you sound very very idealistic about it all I'm I'm not getting in a car until I go to Hastings I don't care what day the year it is Hastings no Paul does have a point that's not how it works you just go a little bit and then maybe and that's part of the fun of of hitchiking what you don't try and prend to me you've ever hitch I know you getting at the back of a Mercedes once a week is not hitchhiking I've seen it in films though so Ray thinks it's true it's got to be true too wacky to be made up so you think they're too wacky to be made up you think they're too wacky to be true yeah I think she she enjoyed making them up so what's it going to be then Lee okay well we we'll say uh be it on your head right but we'll say it's the truth saying it's the truth okay Joe brand truth or lie it is truth yeah it was true Joe did have to hit trike home on Christmas Day and was picked up by four different drivers last year I made my husband a birthday meal using some mints I found in the street okay what Why will why why did you do that I found to carry a bag on the pavement that that amongst other things had mints in it I don't know whether someone had left left it there whether they dropped it it wasn't like being clutched by like an old woman who was lying on the you're not being convenient with the truth here are you all right I slapped her out the way was what else was in the bag uh well there was mints and it was wrapped up in in kind of a plastic like in one of those cardboard dishes plastic over it so it wasn't Lo wasn't loose oh yeah it sounds perfectly hygienic yeah well it was hygienic how do you know like a dog hadn't weed on it I know it was in the cell phame cuz I sniffed it did you not have any you can't buy class can you what did you cook in with the Mi well I can only cook two things a spag bowl and macaroni cheese which one did you go for H I've known you for a while Joe can I just check is it your current husband or the first one who died of food poisoning uh my one and only husband okay oh it's chesy Hawks so what do you think Lee I don't know what do you think Ray is this adding up let's say true true I think false you think said lie you're saying lie you're saying true I'm saying lie you're saying lie yeah okay Joe truth or lie it is of course a li thank God last year I ate my Christmas dinner in the barath David's team why because we had quite a lot of family round and I just wanted to be on my own because I was in a really bad so was it on a plate that's a horrible image isn't it it was on the plates hold on so I've just going a picture of the scene right you got your Christmas dinner on the plate and you just get up to the table and you say I'm just going off to the bath for a bit and the I I don't think I announced it I was just so fed up with everyone I just got up took my dinner went upstairs and thought I'm going to have a bath but didn't you find it that you got really hot eating in the bath I could eat my Christmas dinner in a fire where did you put the dinner when you were running the bath on the toilet on the toilet did you did you allow the bath the not with I mean with a lid on and a nice little table even so I think it's a bit do you it's just the it's the associations isn't it of the two ends of the process else it's like saying to the food this is where you're going to end up mate we both know it you know it I know it you're going on an incredible journey yeah did you continue to eat your Christmas dinner while the bath was running or did you pause in that process to sort of save it until you were nice and comfy in the bath had a couple of sprouts David did you have like a tray that goes over the side of the bath you can put the dinner on or did you have to balance it on your knees I had to balance it not [Laughter] necessarily if you're balancing it on a part of you is there not a risk that it will become submerged at some point which would ruin the dinner essentially you're turning your Christmas dinner into the males in about 30 years time when you know the bath water of the world starts to wash the Sprouts towards the plug hole well I don't I don't put enough um water in the bath for that in fact you know I don't hardly need to put any water in the bath okay what do you think David what do what are your what do your team think I think maybe you had a bath but you didn't eat your Christmas dinner there yeah I can believe that Joe has had baths and has eaten and has eaten Christmas dinners I don't believe she's ever combined the two processes I well I think I think she might have done oh you think she might all right I thought we were heading towards consensus there but in a very christmy way we're very much at loggerhead I think seeing as I feel a little bit 5050 yeah oh no that doesn't help at all does it well no it does cuz if you're 100% it's true and you're only 50% it's who said I was 100% I about 80 all right I'm going to need a pen this is why I keep saying I need a spreadsheet okay we're going to say true so they're saying true Joe eating your Christmas dinner in the bath truth or a lie it's a lie yes it's a lie Joe didn't eer Christmas dinner in the bar I once got on the tube with a live pigeon in my pocket David's team why was the Pigeon in your pocket it was quite badly injured oh so you were being a Good Samaritan to pigeons ish I was a bit peckish you hadn't yet decided could go either way what had happened to the pigeon what happened to it yeah went very nicely with some roast potatoes no I took it I took it to um actually to the local vets when I got home so where did you find it was lying on the pavement and what was the nature of the Garment in in the pocket of which you place the pigeon there a clown's outfit and it's your old for standing on it in the first place with your big a Duff coat duff duff a Duff coat but did you think about just carrying it or did you think I'll put it in my pocket cuz if it's a pigeon that's struggling I think it's probably causing it more pain it was beyond struggling it was it dead pigeon dead pige it was It was kind of really knacked and can I ask were you going to somewhere when this happened or were you going back home I was going to somewhere so you went to a meeting possibly a high level TV meeting about there are other places available I'm just guessing with a pigeon fact you gave it two options a meeting or a high level TV meeting I'm trying to imagine I was going to the local hospital to have a smear wow while it was in your pocket did it start flapping no so it was just completely quiet but not dead in your pocket did you have some seed in your pocket of course she did we all carry emergency Trill what are you thinking uh Kimberly does it does it have the ring of Truth for you I think it's a lie I've I've saved a pigeon before and it was quite badly hurt oh here really FL am I the only person that hasn't saved a picture I have a hard time believing it would sit in the pocket what what were the circumstances for you Kim I was at my flat every my husb now husband was gone and I I'm sorry to hear that very brave of you to talk about it on the show there was a lot of commotion outside so I went to look and there was a pigeon struggling but I was worried to touch it cuz thought of diseases and things so I left it and had to go away and think what to do so what did you do I tweeted about it tweeted beautiful did he Tweet back well somebody did and they sent a cab to get the pigeon to take it to the Wildlife Foundation to save it I really don't believe this so what are you thinking David uh well Kimberly what do you think you think it's true I think it's a lie you think it's a lie I think it's a lie lie lie I think I think we think it's a lie okay you're saying a lie Joe truth or lie it is a [Music] lie at school I once rubbed stinging nettles all over my face and told my teacher I was Ill so I could go and meet a boy in a graveyard David's team I mean true um so this was a date in the graveyard was the boy living uh he was just before we met yeah and these Joe you say these are your school days so we're talking about the 1990s now what was the yeah it's my way of being flattering and gent chivalrous you say chalous when was this joke the 189 that would have been the late 60s actually early 70s gosh okay so when you walked into the graveyard like this he must have been shocked to see you rob he was pleased to see me he knew what he was going to get [Applause] um whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what's he going to get I bought him a cake so freshly nettled you go off you go and find your teacher what happens then well I say to the teacher I'm really not feeling well I don't know whether I at something for lunch that's given me some sort of allergic reaction can I go home I mean I don't know I've never run a school but are you allowed if a child says they're ill you're allowed to just say yeah off you go well I said to her that uh my mom was at home and I live within walking distance of the school it was the late 60s early 70s very different time children hadn't long stopped going up chimneys so what do you think oh it's so unus but it's probably true me well that's the wrong way to reason should be unfeasible things are less likely to be true yeah although the true things on are deliberately picked to be unlikely exactly I traveled here by car for example never come up that would be easy sorry can I just check something here why do you get a car yeah it's a class thing you know they still shouldn't make me drive your car right Joe in the graveyard with the young man because it sounds so unlikely yeah I still think it's flawed reasoning but go true you're saying that it's true right Joe truth or lie it is a lie yes it's a lie Joe didn't rub stinging neckles over her face to get out of school um I was once favorite to win an Athletics event but ended up coming last after an incident in a toilet cubicle David's team well okay what was well what was the Athletics event it was a javelin uh the javelin and and when were you entered into a javelin competition uh when I was at school how old were you uh I was about 16 and you were the favorite I was why cuz that could chuck it a long way how far how far R probably for God say make it less than 110 M which is the world record give yourself a Fighting Chance 111 M I would say about 20 or 30 m well you're all so good at running fast ha haa I mean to be fair I think that was a genuine question I see the momentum to yeah yeah okay I did actually for a short time hold the 100 meter record for our school that was because I was having a [ __ ] behind the bike sheds and I heard the dinner bell what was the incident in the toilet that had Capt your performance I Was preparing for sports day the afternoon so I went in the toilet have a [ __ ] and I had a box of matches and I struck one to light my [ __ ] with didn't blow it out properly put it back in the box and the Box exploded in my Javelin throwing hand oh wow so this is a story about a serious burn yeah so I had to throw the javelin at sports day with my left hand well Johnny what what do you you think how does this strike you I think it could be true and you think it's true okay true you were saying it is true uh Joe Truth or life it is true I once ignored a fireman's order to evacuate a building because I assumed he was just a Blok in fancy dress beasty okay when was this uh when I was at un University in 1841 were you the only person who didn't leave uh no I don't think so it was like it was a student party it was sort of fancy dress oh you were all in fancy dress okay what had you gone as um I think I took a pretty easy option and I went uh as a Roman well what were you wearing yeah a sheet it's not a Roman not a Roman soldier just someone who's around in the Roman era a senator not a centurion a Roman or a ghost so who who first of all where was the fire in was it in your room well it actually it w it was a fire alarm I wasn't in the proper party but I was in my room in uh with the door shut so how did the firefighter get in touch with you if you were locked away in your own room well he banged on the door and went fire service with all due respect to your sheet you must have been quite impressed with his costume I was how did the conversation go right I was in my room with someone else we were busy who were you is this how the fire started because I know what you're like Joe you like to set fire to them actually we were we were revising oh right what was he dressed as you were a a Roman what was this other person he wasn't dressed as anything so there's a banging and there's a banging on the door and you stand up now Joe I expect better of David who was the first person to titter let's try and have a a level tonight please Joe there was a banging on the door banging banging Bang banging banging and then you heard the door what happened what happened was this guy shouted fire please leave the building right yes so I just thought it was some drunk bloke mucking about yes yes so I said could you please go elsewhere what was your gentleman callus reaction was he still unconscious my Gentleman caller was was the same as me very very entertained what do you think Henning is she is she telling the truth here there is's a few inconsistencies in that s like well the thing about the fire I don't believe we can stop there then it's not to be fair an inconsistency is it there's nothing inconsistent about it it's it's just it either happened or it didn't it's not like a fire and I was in a lake that would be an inconsistency so you're what you're picking holes in Henning's command of the English language perhaps we should continue the rest in German to give him a Fighting Chance yeah Simon what are you thinking part of me thinks it's it could possibly be a lie you're going to say lie because you think that this story has got inconsistencies yeah I'm just trying to annoy David now I think I go with Simon so you're going to say it's a lie oh absolutely with them kind of inconsistent okay Joe were you telling us the truth or were you telling a lie it was in fact the [Music] truth it's true Joe did ignore a fireman because she thought he was in fancy dress uh this box contains everything I need to play my family's favorite festive gift all right so could you now take the contents out and put them onto the desk please oh well it's it's it's a plastic cup water pen there sheet of paper yeah well it looks exciting uh what you do right is you get up the glass I'm a bit nervous about what you're going to do right you come up like with um like a category a c category yes yes like ah sorry I've got cramp in my foot just B with me a minute like diseases keep [Laughter] think you're right that's better thank you you've come up with a category yes yeah so and I I'm going to start the game off so I think of something in that category um and I write that down on a bit of paper paper yes you have got to come up with something from the category yes which is trees so you each say a tree and if anyone says the tree that I've written on the paper I throw this over them oh let's play it let's play it we'll give you a category the category is uh things you might find in a Christmas dinner so food items in a Christmas dinner right now fold the paper up don't let them see it okay okay now Joe Lee and and Joe swash are your sons they come they're back from the youth detention like my friend Robert to play yeah Rob my mom says you can play you can come in and have a play we're all playing the game oh hang on a minute no wait a minute I'm told that my I'm being told that my desk is not waterproof oh yeah but you're no seriously now my gu also I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm just being told my skin is soluble I'm telling you the truth that's what they're telling me so remember now boys the category is things in a Christmas dinner get ready here we go let's get the tension okay lemac something you'd find in a Christmas dinner okay I'm going to go for a not roast oh the tension there when she said okay Joe swash a brussel sprout oh it's back to this is unbearable absolutely unbearable I'm going to go for a carrot oh oh Joe swash Pigs in Blankets oh double look me turkey oh this is a unbelievably stressful game your pudding what are you talking about that's not you put in a Marist only because it's the SAT now for Brussels gravy he said gravy say gravy Ley cranberry sauce Joe swash bit of Turkey he said he's already said okay I'll go with some carrots he already I go with some stuffing oh yes right so that's the happiest thing that's ever happened to me was that game genuinely something that Joe plays or did she just make it up truth or life even if it's not to come up with that on the spot is bril I'm playing that on Christmas day it's a brilliant game if Joe invented that game in the last few seconds exactly reading off a card then well she'd be a genius okay so what's it going to be truth or life we're going to say true okay Joe this incredible Christmas game oh my goodness truth or lie it's true yes it's true Joe does play the game every Christmas my husband and I have agreed that the hour between 7 and 8:00 p.m. is the only time we're allowed to gripe about our various aches and pains we call this hour the moan Zone David's team uh between 7 and 8:00 p.m. yes was is that the time you find the aches and pains are most noticeable no it's because it's when the one shows on and what what specific aches and pains Joe because I will say you've been rather spritely this evening don't be patronizing Ro you did say that like you play Monopoly with your grandmother so what are the eges and pains Joe well um I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee she as well have you yeah what's the cause of your bad knee I don't life you know oh life the inferior design technique of the Creator should there be one anyway this isn't about me Jo what happens if you moan outside of those hours like do you have like a moan jar where you know the other one can say anything they like to the other one to shut them up oh including the c word Coco anyway in the hour is it you first 7 till 7:30 your aches and pains and then here at 7:30 to 8 or do you alternate I'll see your knee I raise you a you know a Coxx this is what dav's like when he's chatting up with it well it's it's not that formal really is this ringing any bells with you Lee I mean in your in your household I would like to get to the age where you can do the chair where you press the button and it helps you up oh that's nice then you're not I tell you what this is going to steal all those younger viewers back from Netflix isn't it how old are you Bobby I'm a prime number one more than a square number but it's a prime number oh in that case you are wait wait I've got this I've got this you are 37 36 are you you are a prime number one I am a prime number yeah 37 yeah there we go yes I mean 10 points GFF thank you Joe can't believe that Lee has got the Applause when she said 37 we get clever students we know they've got it correct like in parents evening I would say Joe's doing really well but sometimes students at Lee we've got to encourage them in the lesson I like you Bobby all right so what do we think Joel what are you thinking about this well it sounds true to me I mean I I um I think it's a bit weird that we wouldn't believe other people yeah right we we may be having a bit of a problem here this evening okay Sam what about you I I quite like it it's very constructive I think it could be true I think we're going to go with true you're saying true okay Joe was it true or was it a lie it is a lie it's a lie Joe doesn't have a moan Zone with her husband as a child my Christmas was once cut short when my mom took the decorations down halfway through Christmas Day David's team oh right this thank you was she always down on Christmas or was what happened this year well this year in particular yeah just halfway through Christmas day she's like I've had enough we've done the presents had you done the lunch yeah we done lunch so let's just what was the time 2:30 okay so pre Queen oh we don't we don't do the queen in my family I'm so sorry David don't don't you don't listen to the queen no did it did it become I mean she's the head of state eight minutes a year you know and 6 and a half if you if you skip the bit with the trumpets bu was it a great dramatic gesture or was it sort of it was quite dramatic because did I mean were the I mean the things were on the ceiling and it's taking the tree down and putting a plastic tree back into a box the stuff on the ceiling did she have to get have stuff on the ceiling well you had no no tinsil light around the room oh this was hardly a Christmas was it you don't you don't watch the Queen's speech I expect you were having a pizza you're having a pizza and they she put the fake tree away like an umbrella fine pop that away this is this is barely worth hearing about was there was there a specific incident that uh that set her off she was very disappointed with me and my sisters because in general I think I had got one present and um I had not liked it and so that was a bad point and my sister Cheryl hadn't got out of bed yet now tell us about your Christmas Day I'm imagining there's a lot more structure to it and respect is a word that that's coming to my mind uh thanks Rob oh I don't know I think I I think I have quite a normal Christmas Day I imagine Buck Fizz and 11 no we don't book a [Applause] band so David what do what is your team thinking could this be true heartbreaking completely Rings true I think what do you think Tom well whatever I think would be wrong so um well that could be if that's if that's 100% that's very useful I'd ask what do you think then well I'm I i' go with Tom really I've had an Insight Tom's had an Insight yeah I think she's not telling the truth oh what why why do you think that I don't know it just came over me right I think she's telling the truth but it's quite easy to know who to who to side with here I L sit at home all day watching homes under the hammer and you're next to a a knight of the realm yeah but I'd go with him if I were you true true you're saying it's true Sarah a tragic tale a tragic t or fiction this tale was truth I told you the truth I once booked a holiday to Costa Rica because I thought it was in Spain I only realized my mistake when I sat down on the plane David's team where is Costa Rica it's in between America and South America okay Central America they call it sorry Central America yeah and you realized when you sat down on the plane yes what made you realize when you sit down on a plane it has a chair in front of you and there show the pilot and um it has like a little square on it with the map that you're going to go on and it says how long the flight is going to be and this flight said 14 and 1 half hours which I thought was a long time to get to Spain and suddenly you're a geography expert anyway and so it had all of the dots and the dots were going away from Europe to Central America and who were you with on my myself by myself where were you going at the time was there a holiday um yes I was going to do a yoga retreat and when you booked the flight was there no information about The Landing time no I booked the holiday and this is bad on a lunch break on my iPhone while crying so I was paying so little attention Okay I just broken up with my boyfriend and um and I and the only time I had off work was Christmas and New Year I decided that rather than being sad in the UK I was going to go away and do something like really healthy so how did Costa Rica come into the picture I was yoga retreats and when it said Costa Rica and in your mind you've always Associated Costa Rica I see Costa Del well there is a logic to it of course okay and so I love the way you did that I love the way you turned as if it was them that didn't quite understand that did you get that from the Rob Rob I'm going to break the news gently you're the only one in the room that hadn't actually thought I had I hadn't put I hadn't put two and two together do you make this mistake on tell that when you go to Costa Coffee do you think was a lot quicker than swings around the first time the first time now what was it like Costa Rica um because it's not in Spain there's lots of different insects and scorpions that we don't have in Europe that we've banished and they've all gone they've all gone to Costa Rica what insects do you remember tarantulas they're not insects they're arachnids so all right David okay I'll let's be factually inaccurate shall we because that never causes any problems as you enter the ninth hour of your flight spiders are not insects Costa Rica is not in Spain this is why education is so important anger towards me all of a sudden I've just got one more question do you see any monkeys yes what kind black and white ones this has all been noted continue did that did that help the monies do you remember how you paid for it on a debit card things are going fine did you not think it's a little bit over the the Spanish budget no I didn't actually there's a couple of factors just to take into consideration number one it was over Christmas New Year so everything's much more expensive you were going away for Christmas on your own to a yoga retreat just splits up with a boy show some sympathy poor girl but you don't want be you don't want to be on your own at Christmas don't fall for this it's the classic bride and CH line yes I do yes I do just say that I've got a flat in the Cent all right what do you think is she telling the truth I've got a few problems with this I think you can get there faster than 14.5 hours and they and they are howler monkeys everywhere that's why I asked the monkey question are they black and white no oh what color is the how monkey key sort of I'm going to say russet you used to be russet didn't you Steve certain areas still a bit so what are you thinking I I don't what do you think I actually now think it's a lie I'm with you we'll go lie so Sarah was it true or was it a lie it was true oh it's true Sarah did go on holiday to Costa Rica because she thought it was in Spain that's disappointing for us at this stage but the good news is a third of their team is an idiot two3 oh great don't forget me David come on it says possession now first of all read out the card and then when you've done that take the object and pop it on the ask I once bought a chest of drawers for my bedroom online I realized I'd made a terrible mistake when this arrived DAV is it a old house one is it um all the evidence isry she's massive Sarah on the on those things when you buy online they do have measur measurements did you not think to look at that I knew that with things like clothes and shoes I didn't know some charlatans were making Furniture this small so you think they were charlot they weren't just sincerely making doll's house furniture they were trying to pass off doll's house furniture as full-size Furniture online that's what I think they're doing you weren't surprised by the comparatively inexpensive Postage and packing no hly if out putut through letter box honestly if you saw a picture of this just close it's massive how much was it Sarah yeah £35 so did you just think you were getting like a full on bargain very cheap yeah but that's I mean that's that's gone from a relative bargain to a lot to pay for that I was disappointed do the drawers actually open and shut is it functional the thing is Rob in a way it's just like a normal set of chest of draws like you can put stuff in there it's just not big enough for my trousers and my Sarah Sarah do you normally buy online your furniture I've I've got this habit at the moment Mary I like to buy things when I'm drunk and then it's a surprise why did you not send it back yes did you because you can on these things you can contact the seller can't you and you them or complain can I be truly honest with you I love this and I was too embarrassed to say that I hadn't checked the measurements where do you keep it now I keep it in my kitchen why well I I like to put money in there how much how much money can you get in there pound in there yeah 2 in there yeah I hold up fi yeah and then 20 if I've had to get a cab a long way it's good good for Spurs good for you tipping someone has delivered you something pound two or five yeah depending what if it's what if you want to do three that would kill me that [Music] P what do you think Mary what are you thinking um it's a sweet story Sarah but I cannot believe you buy when you're drunk so I think it's a lie S I disagree a little bit with Mary because I am a drunk buyer I do like it later night oh I love something like that but not a chest of drawers so what are you going to say David as Captain of your you think it's a lie think it's a lie and well we're going to say lie got to be lie then okay Sarah truth or lie okay I'm very relieved to tell you that it is true no I love it I love it yes it's true Sarah did buy a tiny chest of drawers by mistake as a child I once secretly cashed my mom's family allowance and used the money to buy a cat David's team so uh how did you perpetrate this fraud lot of lot of strong allegations straight away um it's not a fraud is it not a fra I I didn't say I was my mom right my mom single mother at work so quite often couldn't get to the post office during opening hours so I my job was to get the family allowance on the eldest and how old were you um 11 I see so you were permitted to collect the money what you weren't then authorized to do by your mother is to spend it on a cat not not explicitly so it's not not fraud it's theft so what happened then sah talk us to it so I went to the post office yes got the family allowance yes um quite near the post office there was lots of different shops a High Street if you will oddly on the way to go to the post office I had popped into the pet shop and um there were um two little kittens and they were kind of all snuggled and and sleepy very sweet very sweet so I went to the post office got the money it was about £30 and then on the way back one of the cats had been sold and the other one was there very lonely oh is this the story you told your mom or is this the truth well this this is we don't find that out till the end of the round I'm getting old I keep forgetting the format he was mein he was sad and I realized that I now was holding enough money to buy him and so I did how how did you tell your mom um I told my mom that i' hadd gone to the post office as instructed picked up the family allowance but then when I um had been walking home it been very windy the money had flown away when I was looking for the money in the grass I found this kitten did she fall for that no oh I was going to say if she did can we get her on that team so what what happened were you allowed to keep the cat well for a very very short amount of time the cat was in our house um but my mom was looking for somewhere else to basically to give him away to a home where he would be properly cared for and then she told me that he had blown away oh you were only 11 and she went oh where's the cat he blew away 11 is not too young to learn the bitter lesson of how miserable life is can I just say this has completely ruined my card in a minute where I will be reading out that I in the 1990s bought a cat off a woman in a pub for 15 quid what are you thinking nich does does this story strike you as true I think there's a lot of detail in it a lot of detail yes can picture the High Street the Pet Shop the post office wonderful imagination you're very gifted in that way AR you well I mean we're talking about cats here yeah there are no cats no and yet we vaguely know what we're bangging on about you brought cats to life as vividly as Andrew Lloyd Weber did all those years ago I never saw the live show I just saw the the clip from the film I auditioned for that film and didn't get it and you know who played the part I went up for who Judy Dench how how dare you Ray Winston Ray Winston uh Dan what are you thinking I feel like I I want to believe Sarah on this one I feel there's an element of Truth there well I think the situation is we just completely believe this now if it's a lie there's something diabolical that Sarah has done because we've just totally accepted it all right and can I just say I'm enjoying the length of your shirt sleeves tonight oh they're getting longer and longer you look like you look like Lawrence lell in boing Sarah they're saying it's true was it true or were you telling a lie yes it's true Sarah really did use her mom's family allowance to buy a cat possession ah okay uh there's a a box at the side there take the item out and then read the card out okay this is the item oh right okay these are my Scrabble glasses they don't have lenses in but I wear them every time I play because they make me feel cleverer okay let's see right David's team so when did you develop this Scrabble playing technique at University I lived with some people who I didn't know very well who were very competitive Scrabble players did they wear glasses when Scrabble had actual glasses that they needed cuzz their eyes weren't good you were in a a hall of residence or yes and on your little Hall of residence there were how many Scrabble players four I can't believe that in a block of a hall of residence there were four intense University scrambled players David's face what else is there to do at University I wear glasses because number one it makes me look so good number two actually don't need to wear them really but because it makes me look so good and clever number two is very much like number one is it on so to be clear here the glasses are to make you feel more intelligent I am more intelligent with them on I play a better game I get better scores that's science I've got a Scrabble question what's a k worth in Scrabble it is worth five yes what's but ask me now what's the Point bonus you get if you use all seven letters I don't know it's 50 she's got scramble knowledge David so what are you going to say David um what do you think I'm going to say it's a lie lie sorry David I think it's the truth I'm going to go true you're saying true okay so Sarah truth or lie I'm going to keep these on while I tell you that it is [Music] [Applause] live

Channel: Banijay Comedy

Views: 21,733

Keywords: would i lie to you, wilty, would i lie to you nope, wilty nope, #wilty, british comedy, british panel show, david mitchell, rob brydon, david mitchell would i lie to you, lee mack wilty, best of would i lie to you, would i lie to you long version, would i lie to you compilation, wilty compilation, would i lie to you lee mack, lee mack possessions compilation, sara pascoe possessions, would i lie to you sara pascoe, jo brand possession, jo brand stories

Id: hSYPC7TolRM

Length: 51min 52sec (3112 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 14 2024