EUNICE - Carol Burnett - a popular 1979 "Family" sketch

Carol Burnett company sorry Carol Burnett mama here he is be there he's back here somewhere mama no he's here now I remember the name Rose Chang and I remember mr. Luigi right here and here's daddy right between them I think he's over here Eunice I remember he was right beside a sprinkler the markers got his name on it Carl Dee Harper well I don't know how I got here well now what do you think they moved in look at this mess looks like somebody's been having a picnic here look at this marker is just filthy mama I hope you don't intend on polishing every single letter on that thing remember now we only got a few minutes well if I don't do it who will Lord knows you never did nothin for your daddy I like Karl's marker better than the other markers around here don't you Eunice yes mama that marble when that Luigi fellas got there is just plain Goldy why in the world this rose Chang's family ever put all of them Birds on there I'll never know oh I'll never know either mama the hell kind of a name is that anyway Rose Chang mama I don't know well your father wasn't a flashy man he would have appreciated this simple little marker I know all you kids think I got it because it was cheap mama nobody thought she was cheap not that I had much money your father never was one to plan ahead he died so suddenly left me with nothing I know mama not planning ahead that was his downfall you inherited that trait from I was arguing with him right before he died mama please now don't go through all that again I'm Karl I didn't mean it when I said you were a no-good weak pantywaist with no backbone those are my last words to him you know and he stormed off to the bathroom and he died there no mama please don't I can still see him sitting there mama will you just spare me all the beat I know and Boris I am boring every time I talk about anything that is close to my heart I am boring would it be asking too much for you to go fill this base up with water would you rather I hobble up the hill and dead if I said I'll be happy to do it just will you hurry up with your visit so we can go well Karl I hope you're happy wherever you are and I hope you realize how bad things are for me I'm living with Yunus now you see how she is I can't even open my mouth without getting jumped on you remember that god-awful creep she married well he finally run off and I told her the day they got married if they had any children they was gonna turn out to be freaks and sure shooting that's what they turned out if two boys are gonna wind up in reform school yet daddy well they sure look puny compared to this bunch Rose Chang guy well maybe Rose Chang's family's rich if they were rich she wouldn't be on this end of the cemetery you do not have to be rich to buy decent flowers now look mama you standing there right next to me when I bought these daisies if you had wanted red roses or pink chrysanthemums why didn't you say so when you asked the lady what she had for a book I was so mortified Harvey well I did not see you opening up your pocketbook you see that talking about Carl you are you want me to go back to that flower shop and get more cameras down well I'll just leave them here they'll all be dead by tomorrow anyway you know I think Carl likes being here on this dip slope it's good drainage we've got this nice view of the Raytown Medical Dental Center mm-hmm I don't want an elaborate funeral Eunice oh mama don't now just let me in quietly here between daddy and gross Chang you know how that upsets me when you talk like that that's a long way off mama come on now I had a real nice day planned for both of us come on let's go to the movie oh nice day for you maybe it's always some movie you won't see now don't you want to say a little something to your father in private no no no I I've been talking to him in my head well I hope you've been saying a prayer I don't know what kind of prayers you say these days wouldn't ever hurt you to show up at church once in a while all right mama we'll talk about that some other time to come up wit me say a little prayer out loud so he won't know how much you've slept I told you I've been saying a prayer to him in my head and I know he heard it well say little something out you're hardly ever come out here say anything hello daddy oh I'm fine how's things down there with you the boys are fine and they send their love let's go that's it but what else do you want tell him something to cheer him up recite that little Indian pony used to love so much you know indeed poem you used to do homage to cheer him up it didn't cheer him up he hated it he always used to say how long is this thing anyway well I think he could show a little human compassion the poor man's lying out here alone I walk shores and gitche gumee by the shining bright seawater this little well well I don't remember it well you knew it all when you was 10 well it ain't exactly something I brush up on every day now can we go to the loo oh well fine borrow we can't talk any longer because your daughter's got a rush off the soda silly movie now wait just a minute I wanted to go to this movie alone but you kept moaning and groaning and whining about sitting at home staring at them for a wall so I said okay okay well I'll treat you to lunch and I'll treat you to the movie and then what do you do you proceeded to drag me out here to this creepy cemetery where you make a total movie is important to me it happens to be a barber stripes a music-hall well she won't take me anywhere I want to go so when I finally do get out to sit through two hours of that silly Barbra Streisand who died he'll ever tell her she could sing anyway well I am a gas stitcher in Gertz Barbra Streisand only happens to be the number one box off the star in the whole world that's all get off your day oh you care about well I deserve to have some fun in my life and this is the selfishness that I'm forced to live with and she was always that way cause I have had it up to here with you a woman not once in your entire life did either one of you ever give me one kind word I remember the time when I was little and I fell out of that tree the reservoir and I broke my arm and the wind was not clean out of me and there I was writhing and pain and you and Daddy come rushing up to me and you look down at me and you said well damn it there goes our vacation hey all I ever got from you was unis keep out of my life units don't breathe them a face Eunice keep your voice down well I'm through keeping my voice down I am through keeping out of your way and keep my voice down do you hear me daddy oh I wish I was down there alone don't know what she's saying God forgive me I didn't mean hit on being honest I didn't ever thought we come out here it's the same faith she she talks about how daddy died in the bathroom but now she still seems she fools this number about wound asleep in there between him and this bird woman hey turn out here I hate it this place gives me the willies all right you listen to me and you listen to me good you own toad you can either come with me right now or you can camp out right here cuz I don't care will you just go over the head then because I am staying right here fine when you don't have to fly off the handle just wait a minute Carl will be back again real soon and we'll have another nice miss great maze around here somewhere I don't guess you'd like to stop and see her for a minute I don't want to see at me I want to see Barbra Streisand oh well if I live to be a hundred I will never figure out what you

Channel: TheThirdAlbum

Views: 2,489,004

Rating: 4.8058252 out of 5

Keywords: Carol Burnett, Mama's Family, Vicki Lawrence, Eunice, cemetery, popular

Id: i6pv8ufZA5Y

Length: 11min 35sec (695 seconds)

Published: Fri May 10 2013