Aunt Mae Is Dead

there's your ain't may again this picture was taken when she was 14 and I was 8 my my my my my look at them long curls in mmm real pretty girl I sure never expected me to go so suddenly without any warning oh yes it was such a shock I know mama I know she was your old self she's full of vinegar when I talked to her on the phone Monday I know mama I know I should have been nicer to her Eunice I really should have it's just that she caught me right in the middle of cleaning the oven I know mama you told us that a million times now honey why don't you just try to get your mind off it okay all the fourth thing wanted to know is if I hate any discount coupons are they in pea I had on their filthy rubber gloves and I was all covered with easy.all you just drop everything and run looking for discount coupons I shouldn't have been so abrupt with her now mama wherever ain't may is I'm sure she forgives you she understands that you've covered with easy-off and all guess I was just all hot and sticky and I was aggravated that not one of my children had offered to glean that of him for me I just told her I didn't have any extra coupons not hung up on her I never heard her voice again she went that very afternoon while she's watching the Mike Douglas show now mama you know all you'd have to do would be to call me up on the telephone I'd have been more than happy to come over here and clean out your oven for you you know somehow I find that hard to believe think I'll get me a cup of coffee oh now mama don't do that let me get it no I'll get it myself give me something to do not take my mind off of me for a minute poor mama she's the last one in her immediate family now hmm if you have any idea about what time this funerals gonna be over it will be over when it is over it and I would thank you not to give us all the rush ACT today they're gonna be plenty other Saturdays for you to watch TV now shut up and sit down it's been a big shock to mama she's gonna need all our love and support today you know I don't know what it was last time that I put my arms around that poor old flame mama Oh Paul a mo please try to get your mind off of her after all you still have me darling I'm sure coulda used a manicure don't take your gloves off till after the funerals over mama I am not wearing any buzz I told you I don't like to wear gloves so I'm not gonna wear any gloves very well Eunice you're a grown woman you can wear whatever you like oh I shootin a hung up over Eunice silently oh you quit going on about it I did have some extra coupons - I did I had it 25 cents off on coffee I had a 10 cents off on dog food and I had a 2 for the price of one on call to plate I guess you won't be too too old before our jointer oh mama don't talk like that you gonna live for a long time yet maybe forever if you get yourself frozen all sooo bad May didn't know about that a week or so ago listen you think they accessible just sit there and think quietly to yourself for you well I got a sensible question now when is this funeral gon get going two o'clock we can't leave until your sister Ellen and her husband get here here they're coming here I thought we was gonna meet Ellen and Bruce there she wanted to be with me she's only one of my children that ever did have a generous impulse only one of your children and however had a generous impulse who's the one that asks you over for dinner I'm the one that comes and visits you takes you shopping but I ain't took you to movie oh you did when why I don't know the exact date I didn't write it down what movie where's that one with Ellen Burstyn Alice doesn't live here anymore oh yeah it was filled hey okay just have a few strong words in it that's all yeah what one oh you should wait why I just told Bruce to give us a tune I figured we can all go in his car together well mama now we don't mind driving you yeah that's what we came all the way out of our way here for is all know that I just figured as long as they got a Ritchie looking Cadillac to ride in in the procession why be embarrassed hog jeez look at that sweet face of course they wasn't easiest person in the world to get along with then call me for a month then have the blue she calls and she wants all the discount coupons I ain't cleaning my oven I said because that pays her no sir not beg all world's supposed to stop turning when they want something I can't wait till you clean your dam over and she says not sees me what kind of a patsy do you think I am my pain the phone up in the rear why should I give her my discount coupons anywhere I might need them things for a week was that as it turns out she sure as hell didn't do you know I hate 25 cents off exactly what time is this care expected to arrive just don't worry about it is they're not gonna start the funeral without my son-in-law he's gonna give the eulogy he's Bruce giving the eulogy I might have known Bruce always gives the eulogies why don't anybody ever ask that to give you a Jesus because the family wants somebody clean-cut and presentable it's all that important to you that it gives a eulogy I'll let him give the eulogy at my funeral I hope to heaven he's got a new suit by then look I've been thinking if we have to go in Bruce's car that we all have to come back here to get our car so why don't we take both cars oh yeah that way you can get home in time to see your Saturday afternoon movie huh well it's the best of Bugs Bunny man we own television again take your car it is fine with me why don't you go on ahead out to the cemetery now that way we won't have to clutter up the procession with two cars what I'm going to up cemetery all by myself fleeting my thumbs until the procession arrives well you just could go with you oh I get it I get it not only get our car out of the procession but get units out of the procession too huh just like you tried to do at my daddy's dude don't you bring up Carl's funeral again today Missy I have carried your behavior on that day like a stone in my heart for 10 years and I would appreciate not being reminded of that humiliating experience go on up there and get my hand out of that hat don't mess up the veil like I'll bring it back to the barn tomorrow you're gonna take this hat back after you wore it Eunice you think money grows on trees I see no reason to pay five dollars and 98 cents for a half that I'll never wear again how's it look she's fine perfect for the occasion well at least I know how to dress not like some people I know will you lay off about me about them damn gloves I told you I am not wearing any damn Club and I am NOT bound out of the procession either well then I ask you to Eunice you never show any consideration for me Lord will this never end but ungrateful children just ever call me ungrateful I'll bust my butt for you how by taking me to one dirty movie she won an Academy Award for oh my darling nightie you see what I like to go through oh you stow it just stow it about ain't made all you ever said about her when she was alive was how me and selfish she never gave me nothing she hey go mud and Carly got liver pills and she never gave me so much is a popsicle baby calls and she wants all but this cat kupo oh yeah you had what if I said what up on coffee you had a tense my bathroom hey two for the price of one I'm toilet paper good double ply now you shut your mouth about them damn coupons another thing if you see another word about my crummy clothes or my crummy car I'm gonna walk right out that door you crazy babbling oh my oh here's my darling elephant both of you - well who's going in whose car well I suggest we take the car that impresses mama the most oh well that's just real cute Eunice if I can't leave this house with a peaceful heart I'm not going it up well you better get a peaceful heart mama cuz you ordered up two cars to take you today you're going on your horses work up hell that don't look like no candy Oh for cryin out loud they brought the forward don't put a crazy in a Funeral gosh the car she says be sure you get the car wash you just shut up and let us get through this day you

Channel: alwayslolfunny

Views: 2,898,706

Keywords: Aunt, Mae, Is, Dead

Id: kEx0LCnpJRg

Length: 10min 8sec (608 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 30 2010