Episode 69 - The Horniest One Yet

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patreon.com slash tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one who's ladies and gentlemen welcome to a monumental episode yeah it really is in the podcasts absolutely fitting I mean it's just this is probably our biggest episode it is and the one we've been looking forward to most even since we started this thing and we're also happy to announce that we're ending it after this no we're working up to episode 69 yeah man you either [ __ ] you know your podcast either lives whatever that's great so whatever the phrase is it other lives to be the meme or dies as they become the villain yeah basically you either you either ended at episode 69 or you go past episode 69 and you're just another [ __ ] podcast I didn't and when it should have yeah pretty that's the phrase I think that's how it that's the phrase right that's exactly the phrase yeah I think it's very fitting that we get to do this on a casting couch this actually looks like a casting couch real real porn vibes right now yeah when Matt our tour manager came in the room he was like yeah this setup just sketches me out dude it's always just a weird camera pointed at the couch like at some point I fully expect like a dick just to just from side over the frame just like you know I mean you don't even see the body that it's attached to it's just a dick that just comes in the side feeling yeah okay year get that slap the dick out of the dick out of here penises out here well in honor of episode 69 a Cody proposed that we reminisce on our favorite memories of none other than six-nine the wrapper for the whole episode I propose we do this you know just because it's I miss him you know um I'm kidding I don't really he apparently beat the [ __ ] out of his girlfriend a whole bunch of times no way he's a bad dude yeah crazy right yeah who would have thought man oh I mean what are we really gonna say about this fool hasn't been said already that's true it's just like he was piece of [ __ ] you know I I didn't feel bad for him going to prison but now I especially especially don't feel bad mmm-hmm after this how you hating girls dude no I've never understood that now I know hitting girls hmm yeah does it make any sense to me honestly doesn't make any sense just don't do it yeah just right when you wind up go oh you know actually now it's that moment of oh no this is a this is a woman yeah first I do that it's just what the [ __ ] don't even wind up yeah yeah whatever man it's all I'm still a little bit sick it's gonna Paul guys gonna be coughing for this one what's what's so funny to me about six nine is like he like pleads guilty and then agrees to cooperate and I'm like I don't know how much cooperating you can do to raise 47 years yeah now that is so much snitching then you got to be telling on everybody even the things that you know don't even get jail time yeah just even you know little issues yeah like I'd like you know he I saw him he took somebody's wing one time we had chick-fil-a just like the guy left the room and hate he ate like half the wings and so then the guy came back in I was like were the wings and he said they he didn't know but I saw him he ate half them so judge is like okay we'll take that one for five minutes will knock down five minutes out of the forty seven years what else do you got telling every single person possible I sneeze do jaywalking the other day okay all right can you describe this guy can we if we get him in here could you point him out yeah totally yeah I get that [ __ ] in here yeah he was jaywalking for sure no oh no actually knows a crosswalk never never mind never mind it was totally legal are you sure yeah that's like a full day off your sentence oh yeah he was jaywalking yeah oh my god dude I just I can't I can't feel bad for him and the only thing that I think came out of it that was like I don't know I guess positive in a way they're always like New York rappers let's do my son was like he was like man when all of us like older New York rappers came out and said that this dude is like faking he's not really from the streets and all that stuff you guys called his old you called us haters and we said he was gonna get caught up and look what the [ __ ] happened and he's like and his own people tried to kill him and the whole time we were trying to tell you kids like the streets is not for anyone like it it's a dead end this lifestyle gets you killed so I guess I'm kind of glad that these dudes I don't know they got the they got what they needed to be like yeah [ __ ] told you so okay yeah I guess maybe I don't know and I kind of feel that way too like looking at him talk all that [ __ ] act that way and he gets 47 years I'm like yep it's congratulations you won dude you're that you're the hardest out yeah it really is the craziest like making it story and then falling out mm-hmm I've ever like it's it's insane to go from zero to that just back to zero yeah less than zero less than zero for sure in a year in the span of like eight months yeah that's [ __ ] crazy yep anyways we I didn't actually want this episode to be about how we actually [ __ ] did it oh what's the first time you 69 very first time i69 are you saying very first time I listened to his music yeah the first time you yells stupid in the subway stupid stupid very first time I 69 actually yeah I'm trying to remember myself I mean I remember I remember like the I'm having like a conscious thought the first time I did it no I was like this is [ __ ] awesome yeah this is sick yeah you know yeah I'm like I'm pleasuring someone else while but then I'm getting pleasure and it just makes me want to give more pleasure yeah I'm like this is some weird [ __ ] perpetual-motion [ __ ] I'm like I thought that it didn't even exist I didn't think was possible you know oh oh it is yeah yes I'm saying yeah that's how that's how we're gonna power the future yeah that's our non-gmo future right there yeah it's like a cool circular you know Rube Goldberg machine of pleasure yeah that's what it is that we're gonna harness that to power the earth yeah finally deal away though I learned that in Claire's latest book I'm not gonna leave her alone just leave her alone Clara hell yeah yeah man yeah the first six nine is always cool cuz it's like I was like a little bit taboo you know yeah you're like oh oh oh oh oh no and then I feel like guys always take it too far though and she's got to stop said wait wait thrusting yeah yeah that's graphic that's graphic yeah we're gonna fold by the way we're gonna full sex themed for this episode yeah I mean just probably I don't know maybe we shouldn't we could talk about we got some complaints last time yeah there was too much there's a lot of things that relate to 69 though just the number okay okay 69 Camaro yeah it's great car yeah it's great pretty cool car Camaro yeah it was nothing like a Chevy Silverado I forget the dude some dude on YouTube did that character Chevy Silverado let's be talk about the show last night that was a bit of a 69 yeah it was it how was it a 69 I mean we you know we delivered pleasure and then the audience pleasure us back by a character of validating our jokes it's just lived in this beautiful relationship with each other it was it was so beautiful you know we sucked us off we very crowds [ __ ] yeah we ate him out so good we went down on him went down on that crowd wanted to deem this [ __ ] out of the crowds box yeah we ate that one [ __ ] yeah yeah we went we went we went to the taint a little bit too yeah crowd is loving it it was a really [ __ ] fun show Philly also it man okay every show we thought was gonna be my neck is hurting I got to give up okay yeah um relax dude nothing load off every show that I think we thought was gonna be rowdy as [ __ ] ended up being so cool yeah and every show we thought it was gonna be chill and relaxed yes rowdy yeah yeah yeah so I'm from st. Louis comment it like you never standing him on the st. Louis show yeah we did go back a couple episodes yeah you [ __ ] need adderall a shout-out to Philly though you guys were so dope and focused and they really liked you they were listening yeah I know it was crazy okay so Boston wasn't so great Boston it was there's a bad venue yeah the venue would like half the people it was standing again it was like this you know kind of like a kick ass she like punk rock venue but only it was it was a in a basement yeah so like very I don't know yeah I was only made for like punk kid [ __ ] like that so it was on a basement and like you know it's like it was like 500 people or something 650 650 packed in there standing and half probably more than that actually part two-thirds of the people couldn't see the projector which is like you know half half an hour of our show basically is like referring to what we have on the projector so it's just like the the you know and they were like super [ __ ] rowdy because everyone had been to the Patriots parade that day yeah and everyone got a kiss from Tom Brady and it was just like so overwhelmingly cool that that's what we heard is that Tom Brady actually came down off the float and kissed every single person that was there on the mouth I said that at the show and everyone started cheering which first I want to say appreciate everyone coming out to the Boston show I'm standing at the show but why are you cheering for this man kissing you in the face dude you guys were so excited about that I've never seen a cult so big for a man so vanilla yeah dude I know just supposed to regular I mean a part of him being you know great quarterback or whatever the [ __ ] he just such as such a like the guy look like prides himself in eating salads like epi like what's your secret to the game is like you know it's my diet like ah [ __ ] you man that's what we wanted to hear right cool yeah yeah nothing about your training nobody wants to hear no but like nobody wants to hear the actual answers to [ __ ] like that because it's like boring it's like yeah I bet you honestly I bet you your diet does is the secret to your success that's the but it's boring yeah no one wants to hear that answer cuz no one wants to do it no one wants to be the guy that eats salads and changes his life you know and I want Tom Brady to be this [ __ ] place savant with some weird like meditative [ __ ] you know technique that he uses to throw the ball and he does yeah you know I don't want to know that if I eat salads I can succeed I don't want to know that because that's a sobering truth and I don't want to eat salads you're just hoping it's like X Factor so you can always just be like well I'm never gonna be that so why try exactly yeah exactly totally no man nobody else wants to either reporter getting pissed like oh dude come on come on bro really really just nothing ya know just held oh you know my baby he's like alright alright fine I don't know the big secret okay prune juice [ __ ] really every other quarterback yeah my training you know I'm in there six days a week my coach this that and you're gonna come out here best quarterback of all time and you're gonna say prune juice yeah I mean it's you know a little gross but you know you drink this glass of that a day a lot of fiber keeps this system movement give me something else man well some good sleep on top of that it's not only prune juice you got to get some good sleep three two I may kiss my son okay there we go I kiss my boys on the lips man he'd be kissing everybody on the mouth yeah he kissed that the owner yeah afterwards mm-hmm that's weird right that's super weird when's the last time you kissed a man on the lips probably my dad when I was in [ __ ] I don't know like I don't even know I can't remember the last time I kissed my dad on the lips and that is something my dad never did and was exclusively like we don't do that in this house I mean I definitely did it hmm I just can't revert it ended at a very young age yeah you know it was really funny is that to that whole thing and I don't want to go back to old issue or whatever but all those dudes on Twitter like bragging about kissing their kids on the mouth there's like taking pictures like I'm conservative and I kiss me I was like oh it was just like this huge it was like one other one of those like shitty like you know [ __ ] the diapers to to kill the libs situation like weird didn't cut off the Nike symbol [ __ ] yeah it was one another one of those yeah I kiss my daughter and I'm proud kiss my son and I'm proud dude just just just back up a second and you got to realize that you're posting a picture of you kissing your children on Twitter for what like what reason why yeah keep those just for your personal things yeah that's it anyway so I saved all those pictures and goddamnit it's a really good you know I'm really feeling what I'm really feeling Randy yeah you popping those yeah the archives in it no that's [ __ ] up that's gross that's absolutely progress oh you just sexualized it man you're a [ __ ] creep yeah last night was really cool Philly is really dope yeah so we came from Boston and then on our way from Boston to Philly our [ __ ] brush brush or brush our brush broke Brown a brush brook brown our bus broke down right outside of Boston and can I even skip that whole number that is like the biggest issue yeah yeah we we're sitting on the bus and just [ __ ] stupid me I watched a documentary till four in the morning my dad's fine he'll wake up at twelve and then like three or four hours later Matt comes in and he's like yo guys who might have to go and I'm like oh yeah yeah we're just on the freeway just yeah parked on the side of the freeway we've been sleeping there all night why you it's you I woke up in the night I heard just [ __ ] like the bus would you know like move a little bit every single time a car went by a bug mm-hmm like vibrate a little bit about what the foot like why are we moving and so I started like getting like you know mid sleep freaked out that like a car was just gonna [ __ ] full salvo I weigh speeds and dude right into the back of us I always think that [ __ ] as I was freaking out and then we woke up or he woke us up early and was like yeah the bus broke down we gotta fly to Philly and so we just got an uber from the side of the highway to the Philly Airport yo or it's whatever we managed to pack our uber driver was so funny man he was this Haitian dude yeah it was you know he was like I think weirdly we kind of needed that because he was just kind of like happy and positive and I feel like if we had anyone else like more tense like it would have made a situation annoying he picked his up and he's like just dumb nice and weird right but these buddies part we're driving for a minute we're all like looking kind of just pissed off he's like you want music and Matt goes now we're good he goes okay and he turns on Haitian music which is the dopest yeah music ever yeah it's a happiest goddamn music it's so like you put it on and I'm like oh this shit's relaxing and then just like like you read my mind like as I'm listening to it I'm kind of I'm vibing out and he's just like this is Copa I'm like thanks dude I'm like trying to chisaem it and not look okay yeah that's it was super relaxing we got to go through the weird back woodsy part of Boston how many miles bet Milford yeah that area was Rich's [ __ ] dude yeah them houses were nice insane like every house came with it just a big old plot of land yep and turn around driveways and it was like I'm sure there's something bad about Milford that we don't know yeah probably but it looked pretty dope honestly yes I look at old money you know yeah that yeah they look like old money for sure like you you know pay millions for a house and it still creaks yeah yeah and we went to that show we got to the Boston Airport which was surprisingly straightforward so everything was cool but yeah [ __ ] Airport was deserted we walked through security we got pre-check which is cool I don't have pre checks so like I don't know how the [ __ ] that happened we walked on the plane the plane was empty so we all got a row to ourselves and the flight was smooth as [ __ ] honestly probably the best flying experience I've had in such a long time yeah yeah so it actually kind of was a blessing a little bit you know that's what happens when she like that you know one door closes another one opens man two more open open don't they say man one door closes the pre-check line opens up exactly that's what they say that old saying goes you know it's just so malls gonna mole moles gonna dig bras in a bra I said Brad's gonna thing yeah so we did Philly great show yeah great that venue was [ __ ] awesome shoutouts that venue and what was it called oh the Electric Factory it was it yeah okay so [ __ ] dope you know meek is performed like in that room a lot of people have today yeah Matt was like y'all saw Meek Mill here and I'm like damn we don't deserve to be that's the same also the same place they shot Creed the first one everybody was having an argument yeah he's like yo let me get a flick for the gram and they got in a fight yeah and he punch so he punched a guy or punched through the wall or some [ __ ] okay I forget what happened into the scene I think he punched the guy mm-hmm but when they were shooting it he punched through the wall by accident okay and it wasn't a good take so they had to have someone come in rebuild the wall like repair the wall let it dry and then shoot again that night Wow how crazy is that sweet it was kind of cool just like being I love oh yeah and Creed um I have terrible memories I don't remember anything from that movie it's a great movie so yeah we got down and then we had that was my first time having a real Philly cheesesteak yes first time ever yeah I know that [ __ ] was so good damn so different from what la cheesesteaks are la cheesesteaks are just [ __ ] cheeseburgers and hotdog buns I don't think I've ever had an LA cheese steak really yeah I don't think I've ever even ordered because I'm just like I know she's gonna be shitty yeah I've gone to a bunch of places and it's just no big [ __ ] Philly one was unreal yeah Cheez Whiz and American cheese melted [Music] o-69 that thing eight one side and I put the other side I'm doing Oh gross dude just imagine do try suck his own dick he can't make it happen he's like wait and he gets that it's like that's the bridge to sucking himself oh yeah bro [ __ ] I was watching david dobrik like most recent vlog today yeah they go into this oh they go into this shop in 69 each no they go into like a plastic surgeon's office okay because you know Jonah yeah he wants to get his penis enlarged I can talk about this but go ahead okay you can no no no no yeah I have something peripheral okay okay so they're sitting there and they're like getting like I I was weird man I don't know if it was serious or not I don't know if he's actually going through with it or what but like the nurse comes in or like one of the doctors or something and she's like basically like analyzing him and he like everyone's in the room and he just [ __ ] takes off his [ __ ] and he's like he's like real real talk like how small is my dick have you ever seen anything smaller and she was like she was like well I've seen one that's like the same size as yours he's like we've never seen any dicks that are smaller and she's and she was like she was like no he's like so I'm the smallest dick that you've seen oh how did I ever stood ends and I'm like hey well I don't what do I think of that that's gotta be fake man you think so that's some script that's such an easy joke to get by I can you just say that it's the smallest one you've ever seen yeah but also like is he going is he getting his dick enlarged I would even go there alright so what I was gonna say yeah is I did a little react video on Twitch to some BBC doc these guys getting penis fillers is that what it is you just they were talking about inject the doctor was like yeah base we would take fat cells from certain areas of your body and we inject them in your dick yeah I mean there's that okay so in this one it was like silicone okay it was like a cosmetic thing and that's actually one of my twitch emotes is the diagram of a penis look how it works okay cuz it looks like a face okay good - just like shocked like so yeah and these dudes I mean not just in the dock like people get and it's like the equivalent to lip fillers yeah so it fattens it up what was funny was and you gotta keep getting him out yeah you have to keep going back in okay so it's like even if I thought he was gonna go through then do it it's like it's not a big deal it's like it wears away and you have to go back for more but what's funny was in the video I watched this dude goes there with his girl and his girl is like um I'm just concerned it's not gonna fit okay so like this dude I was like oh he's double dipping he's already he's already good yeah was oh so he was already like big or like decent yeah yeah and he was just because like and what I laughed at in the video is like the two guys one of them his smile is like kind of we can dry like mmm like just please put it like he needs it yeah and the other dude is like like his eyes are like lit up he's like looks electric get this cuz he's like he's like just outside porn [ __ ] and he's like I can get there that's ridiculous [Music] you've revised and in the mirror like alright look at his brother it's like a salmon yeah dude so oh so he doesn't go through with it I don't I don't know we just ended I don't know I mean maybe he did man it's crazy though dude that dudes shameless and yeah just a [ __ ] drop trou like that in front of everyone would be like so do I have the smallest dick in the world or what I I mean that like damn I commend the confidence this is me too that's what I'm saying that's jackass level confidence seriously yeah it really is man it really is some Eric Andre [ __ ] mm-hmm we said Eric Andre you know posed naked on Instagram I think I googled it after I watched the hot ones episode I mean like they were talking about him posting like full frontal nudity and I was kind of like I'm gonna see how big his biggest dick is I mean I think I was following him at the time and you saw I was just like whoa yeah so funny did you post that share on Instagram it's so [ __ ] funny full frontal nudity and just like there's like the Lighting's all shitty to like because every I thought that's the way to get attention on Instagram now is not to have like a high-res photos got to be a piece of [ __ ] photo oh yeah yeah cuz you're like [ __ ] just oh I mean yeah when you when he said that I was like I gotta see what this fools dick looks like I got a seat dude I've been looking at some gay [ __ ] on Instagram I'm [ __ ] gay [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] gay I mean like it's not like I mean this is this is some this is by [ __ ] they say this is not this gage I couldn't believe this though dude what is it play right into the mic oh my god that's hilarious holy [ __ ] believe pushing rap forward man that's crazy that's a [ __ ] man it's just I was looking at this feeling like ya do we're gonna become Rome all that's left is like everyone's gonna go naked you're gonna get shamed into liking everything yeah yeah what you mean you don't go both ways yeah you straight or something yeah what what three little straight boy straight a little bit kiss me right now what now it's just it's like a oh oh oh so you you weird you wit no no you strange no I'm not kiss me right now then excuse me on the lips Tom Brady come on I just I kind of don't it's crazy what's the name of that guy I don't know it's just like I don't even know high end of Danny's rabbit holes on Instagram just like what's the weirdest [ __ ] I can find it it doesn't say man I mean what do you say I still want the [ __ ] in your butt man and your butt dude everyone kind of horse everyone listen to that like okay yeah kind of wait well if you want you want my wet bars bars well that is a yeah that's the new face a rap dude by openly by [ __ ] not like the thug like kind of sexually ambiguous not like young thug not like no smoking penises yeah no it's like that because then you're kind of like well is it what is he talking about no it's on the nose like he's like no I'm sucking dick and eating box and eating box just gets on stage y'all sucking everybody off world we're all nothing today Oh kissing every dude in a mouth tonight yo what yeah whoo yeah someone who is the dead opposite is [ __ ] Bieber yeah well they say that they waited til marriage to have sex yeah they did apparently because he even getting religious recently hasn't he yeah yeah I don't know I didn't read the article so I just read like snippets and then Kelsey told me like what he said hmm about that but it was something like is something something to do with Jesus and how Jesus didn't have I I don't know but it basically boiled down to him like feeling like a shitty person for [ __ ] a lot of people and then like her so he like wanted to be pure or something that's fine I don't know they apparently like the article was like a little bit like they just talked about how hard marriage is and it's like marriage probably shouldn't be that hard when you're first starting your first married cup for a couple years you know like the honeymoon the buzz from the honeymoon is still there yeah that's just like you know in the grand scheme of things you're still kind of like a newish couple mm-hmm you know mmm there's a marriage yeah that's the timeline of marriage you're still like in the good phases right it probably shouldn't be that tough right when you're starting out yeah kind of just sounded like they were just dealing with like being in a relationship when you're 25 but they've already committed to it for life you know oh man me and Elena are so deep it ain't gonna yeah so I mean like would you would you like would you like if you run into the same problems you you do it you have now right yeah you were married would you say yeah marriage is hard no you'd say marriage is the same yeah relationships are hard yeah relationships are yeah sure for sure did after here oh we're so deep in it dude a couple of rings could just fall out of a box and you'd be like oh yeah these are cool there you go I now pronounce us you know like yeah yeah just kid did you do the dishes no I'll do it later read some of those relationship advice that Oh bro bro all right so I'm not a huge I'm not a redditor I just I'm on it all the time okay yeah I don't really use reddit I just you know I'm just on it all the time now I've been trying to you know I've been curating my reddit intake and it's first of all my feet is just [ __ ] up all the time just bad [ __ ] and this though out of all the [ __ ] up videos and cringe videos I see on reddit but the relationship advice I've read it is so just unbelievably [ __ ] up these scenarios I can't who I doubt that one that you read you want to explain that one which one the [ __ ] one oh yeah that was on the best of that was another [ __ ] level dude yeah that was weird the dude says uh my wife wants to experiment I obliged and she tries to eat my feces it started with like their friends like we're into pegging and then I guess they kind of got around to like yeah why don't we try it and then it evolved into her as he described it trying to catch a turd falling out of his ass with her mouth no now that one I'm a little skeptical that's the first one I've been skeptical but the way he ended it was like the end of the pulse is like wow I didn't expect this to blow up my wife has seen it that's the worst part yeah that is the worst part yeah yeah imagine that [ __ ] scenario dude you described this whole just intimate problem intimate weird [ __ ] problem you're having in your relationship and then the other party sees it and knows like not only what you think about it but how you explain it you know like the way this guy explained this scenario he was like yeah wish I was like the turd was coming out of my ass and I saw that her mouth was wide open so like I tried to pull the turd back in so that it didn't go in her mouth and I pinched off a little bit and honey I couldn't look at where went because I was so disgusted that it might have gone in her mouth like imagine being the wife and reading that after the fact even get to that point I would never be squatting over my wife [ __ ] is coming after my body there is no one else in the room there's no one else in the room and the fact that he's even there and it hits him then he's like oh god what am i doing it's like oh man you were oh you were almost there Oh Bieber yeah be like what you say marriage is hard read this read this you want to know you want to know you wanna see actual marital problems read stood we're 12 years deep and I let her peg me just to keep things just to keep things healthy eat my turds god forbid with dude with how [ __ ] horny and [ __ ] off we are from the internet and porn that's gonna be everybody when we're like 40 yeah so I do guarantee we're all gonna be resorting to weird [ __ ] to keep stuff interesting cuz it would like every dude and you know select females watching this podcast or listening to it well we're all corrupted from [ __ ] I say selection I say select women because women are smart they don't engage porn yeah which is probably the best thing huh because we we just chuckle it like [ __ ] falling in a mouth I've seen [ __ ] go close to to a mouth yeah on the internet yeah yeah but there are a lot of women who have never you know no good because they you know porn is like a I feel like in most cases for women it's like a special it's like a thing they throw on once every yeah six months just to be like you know who let's let's be yeah and it's like speaker ki-yay and they throw on the [ __ ] you know the like softest [ __ ] you've ever seen not that but like with the vixen [ __ ] or whatever that should that's super high it's like reducing the glow effect on every snot like the immature [ __ ] just yes oh yeah and help hammer pointing down it's like there's an actual like crew and like an editor does this thing on it yeah you know oh man I would get too drawn into those he's a master prankster wasn't porn like a director oh man and these uses beautiful anamorphic lenses and you get this like nice just distortion on the edges it's no old Jack's off to the gear yeah those videos yeah I just read the camera list oh yeah you see the boom in one of the shots and you keep going back to that shots and oh yeah I dipped it in a frame what a [ __ ] [Laughter] getting off on the blunders yeah see you [ __ ] idiot Oh such a good film director oh I'm so good at my job my master creative uh yeah but yet dudes are more of like a dudes are more like porns like a normal thing yes is he gonna now sumit [ __ ] it out yeah get to the point where like you're casually on a [ __ ] and you're just like no regular porn just escapes you you're like you know saran wrap over hermit what is this I mean I just got it even for ten seconds you know what's crazy is I think we're in this you know it's crazy dude what's crazy dude I feel like we're in this [ __ ] we're now we're definitely old cuz I'm starting to get weird videos of people being like you want a weird DM here's a weird video and I'm getting like old-ass porn clips that were like when we were like [ __ ] 16 no way yeah like you remember the one with the the chick like stuffing all the cake in her [ __ ] what I don't think I ever saw that one I think so I freaking take darts I think it's cake farts oh yeah I thought cake farts yeah when she's like sitting in in motions it in there she just she like sits on the cake pushes up and she farts and then she sits on the cake she sits up and she farts you swing Oh like it was like super pleasureful okay or her some for some reason I thought there was a portion which like flipped it around it was just like mush in it and like being disgusting I don't think so I don't think that was ever part of cake farts but whatever yeah and then she didn't meatloaf farts remember that use that okay I refuse that I was so bad meatloaf already I don't like that oh yeah you know it's gross as [ __ ] yeah but it was like that was like a crazy that was only way she could have topped herself you know if I do something Chris gross is meatloaf yeah that's where I feel like I'm like not as gross I've got not a full up dude where I'm like I see nasty [ __ ] like that and I just trust it I'm like yeah I bet it's worse and I just don't engage now like I saw like you know kids in the sandbox and two girls one cup and you know I heard about the ass and the like the jar in the ass good I never watch that that one's bad yeah yes so bad probably you know I mean we talked about the claim that the two girls one [ __ ] two girls one [ __ ] was fake two girls on fart yeah my brain has just melted no two girls that was fake yeah I know yeah apparently yeah whatever but yes I won seven cake farts the other day so now I don't know it's crazy to think that like I would think there would be a whole new generation of like [ __ ] up porn clips and the fact that just all the classics keep resurfacing yeah we we just did it so well our generation yeah our generation just [ __ ] blew it out of the water then nobody can top it because because we did it yeah that was like this will only get 50 views yeah uploading a video to the Internet man I was gonna see this yeah exactly it's just like you know it's just gonna go on some random website no one's ever gonna wait I'm sorry what what's reddit I'm sorry yeah what's reddit I'm sorry yeah yeah I'm wondering now like damn thinking about my mind like the connection of memes and and porn clips like why aren't there new like shocker porn clips that go viral like that's not something that happens now I think the only ones now are like screen caps where they like you know like people you know when you're when the burrito like when like when the burritos to good it's like a gay guy it's like [ __ ] you're thick it's like there's like that stuff but I'm saying there's not like shocker porn the only shocker porn clue we've seen was that chick squirting all over the place what's the first one I've seen in a minute away but that wasn't even that shocking I'm talking about like the one like that why isn't there any nowadays the [ __ ] that's like you know like a domain then you go to and it's one [ __ ] video yeah like a two girls one cup yeah yeah it's try or mr. hands or whatever yeah that's it that was like one domain you just went to the domain and it popped up or no lemon party lemon party or that [ __ ] is just bull right there why isn't there modern-day versions of that anymore because mean spin ok meatspin no one uses the internet like that anymore so I'm saying they're too busy making stupid [ __ ] memes on it it makes me more shocker porn clips yeah dude yeah there really hasn't been like a good one in a minute not like cuz the another crazy part is like two girls one cup and all those and mr. hands and all that [ __ ] everyone was talking about that oh yeah Sirius XM radio guys were always harm like yo you seen this [ __ ] yeah and it in like like radio personalities are doing challenges too like what yeah whatever the [ __ ] and you just don't you just don't get that that's weird right it really is I wonder what it is about the internet nowadays and people and I think it's just to a lot of us is to corporately you can't get a clip like that to go around the cute you can only catch it on an account like [ __ ] drilled you know and it'll get reported and like however long let's like you see that clip on drills like nah no but the Internet's the internet you can still host something on a domain know what I'm that domain hey yo viral I know that's what I mean is I don't think people will click through to a link anymore I see you're saying okay like the only the only way they'll consume it is like if you drop it in their Instagram DMS and they like can play it right there yeah I see what you're saying yeah like if I send you lemonparty or people like I'm not clicking that uh-huh-huh which is crazy you know it's funny if someone came this is someone's Hornets I'm all over my head my ass this is like somewhat not really related but just think about like internet trends and [ __ ] like that some girl during one of the VIP meet & Greets yeah she came she's like I have a question for you and I was like okay she goes do you think that there's a there's a theory going around tumblr right now yeah wade secretly being gay or something well she says yeah she was like there's evidence that Wade burning is a metaphor for him being gay yeah yeah first of all I was like I wait I was like what there's a theory on tumblr there's like a tumblr like that holds her for real Bros apparently there is apparently there's a big tumblr peasants blew my mind yeah and then she was like yeah it's like a big theory on tumblr right now that weight is gay and that his him burning is like a metaphor for whatever is that true or not and I was like I mean did we definitely didn't write it like that but heard like that joke wasn't written yeah the for that joke you know that joke is actually was an impromptu joke just like I didn't say it but on set Jim you and Christian was like oh we have this funny idea where Wade or your character like refuses a blunt and get her we're gonna have get her basically question whether or not you burn and maybe it'll be like a funny joke we'll just try it one time and I was like okay cool like it was like an onsen and jimmy and christian came up with that's it wasn't even in the script and it just became a thing through the whole series yeah became the biggest [ __ ] thing with my character now and then they wrote it into the second season for the whole thing and that it ends with me burning for the for the first time that is so cool because that is that [ __ ] we're like we've talked about where the art like just goes beyond what's it what its intended to be and then people take it and like make it into something else yeah that's [ __ ] dope yeah it's like very cool I know the scene now I'm kind of like when she said that I'm like damn like that would be a [ __ ] great metaphor maybe he should be gay in the next yeah and then like and then like the fact that they call out that one line by getter there's that kind of gay no offense yeah yeah yeah the fact that they're even like the wit is there to be like that yeah to tie it I don't know yes yeah no it's that's cool man that's like really being a fan of something yeah which is cool yeah [ __ ] some that do to the airport freaked the [ __ ] out he came out he goes it was vagrant as a [ __ ] he was like he looked at us we're at the Philly Airport he looked at me and he was like do I know you from somewhere and I was like I don't know first of all [ __ ] weird-ass way of introducing like that interaction you know like why would you put that in why'd you put that ball in my court do I know you from somewhere oh I don't know let me list off everything I've ever been associated with and you can kind of just or jump in when you recognize something okay or just been well I was a cashier at Bed Bath & Beyond yeah yeah exactly let me start from the beginning okay I went to this preschool and and ring any bells so far no okay Hager Alberta maybe I should go further back my father worked at Raytheon my family actually immigrated from Poland and you know [ __ ] and so finally I'm like I don't know man do you and he was like what's your name and I was like Cody Cody what Co you're the dude from real bros and I was like oh okay yeah sure and he was like oh my god no way I got a picture that my friend and I are obsessed with real bros sounds like sure took a picture and then he got in his car and left and I was like house it was pretty cool besides like the weird do I know you from somewhere it's cool that someone just just from real bros yeah just from real bros knows you well um his whole appearance and his swag was like weird because he was at the airport and he had something like rolled up in a sweater yeah they have luggage yeah and some random car pulled up and he put that thing in the back and he got in the front seat and they took off and I was just like the [ __ ] they doing here and he was holding his belt yeah and his pants had like a fat hole in the ass and ass they were making shocker porn oh [ __ ] if someone needs to make a good shocker porn link I bet you someone's like right now it's like I got one they're sitting in their office right now I got one put it in the comments - lets see it lets see it what do you think it's gonna be hmm let's come up with some good porn or like good shocker domain names mm okay like they're always like unassuming that's what I'm saying yeah yeah hogging the crate oh okay hogging the crate calm yeah or how about like how about like big pork down under yeah yeah calm or even something like Australian share porn um salted coffee what that is dude that sounds awful bro the bowling pin calm what's another one salted coffee that one that one sounds grow that one sounds bad Ellen like you click with one eye open yeah yeah what else we got [ __ ] come in my ass comment my ass I'm trying to think something like I'll damn it how like I would blank in this hard old nachos yeah oh yeah yeah yeah nachos or some sort of like LG's stinky whiz calm thank you is like a rapper stinky stinky whizzed I eat you dirty provolone guv you can have that stinky whiz that shit's gotta be the next shocker porn website someone buy that domain host something there that's gnarly and send that [ __ ] does oh dude dinky whiz doc no just part of my brain and speaking of gnarly is what the [ __ ] dislike kink thing that God what is it called it's where grown men love to wear diapers and [ __ ] them okay it's like a it's like just being a gamer ninja we've been sitting we've been sending back and forth his [ __ ] Instagram stories I mean he just does some [ __ ] that's like he really does dude it's I don't know there's a while and now Dec than all Louie Louie from head to toe bro how do you botch rippin and Lou yo man go how do you buy all that Louie and still look like a gamer dude honey why would you buy a Louie t-shirt that's just white that's what I want to know that's either the dumbest [ __ ] thing ever or the richest [ __ ] of all time buying a white Louie t-shirt and then wearing it with a suit that's ridiculous that's ridiculous you look like a missionary like anyways watch all like watch all like future fashion just like become gamer [ __ ] yo bet you they come for the gamer [ __ ] swag it's common dude what are you talking about my passion hype it's gonna come true gamer [ __ ] you're gonna they're gonna like man they're gonna steal they're gonna steal our [ __ ] so tough yeah [ __ ] hoodie zipped up to the neck hoodie on with uh with with a fitted cap down to the eyebrows [ __ ] like a like a Louie gamer chair we're like the top you know yeah it has like the Louie upholstery yeah on the top you know Jess you know maybe even like a some kind of like you know you know when girls take pictures in Bentley's or rolls-royce they show the head they always cork their head to the side so that you can see the logo right behind their head stupidest [ __ ] thing maybe like one of those you know yeah cool like LV on the on this [ __ ] head rest of the gamer chair that'd be the [ __ ] worse yeah that'd be the [ __ ] worse there's like men the game gamer world is is it's in a tough place right now how so all the game all the in cells feel like they're getting pushed all the true gamers okay makes becoming cool well yeah because all the all the thought be gone [ __ ] yeah gamers feel like there's they're being forgotten and washed away the true culture of of who would really came from bro you think there's really people out there defending the true culture of gaming yeah bro really dude that's the thing dude I don't know the twitch I don't know the dude's name but he had like a viral clip of like hit this do going yeah roll over like women streaming these [ __ ] thoughts oh yeah the train guy train someone yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I saw that [ __ ] I have a lot of a lot of a lot of gamers are on board with that so what was he saying I I mean they just feel like you know girls came through and like now they're you know oh I'm a gamer but you know that's just like it's just to get money and to be a cam girl okay but instead of showing vagina they just you know show their hands playing for tonight okay mmm but whatever man I don't know I'm not too versed in that that [ __ ] is just so I just wonder if there's like an actual like movement of people that are like no like I like save gamer culture like like say a Dorito fingers or something we needed like save and like and like anti socialism anti socialism I did I already know where you going with this just be I think we're in the first stage of that cuz right now it's like sarcastic yeah gamers rise up but it's comin dude you think there's gonna be actual like the gamer needs that are like now like the living is not cool and it it oh it needs to remain not cool get like identity politics a gamer yeah yeah gamer ism I don't even want to make comparisons but they just become this [ __ ] yeah it's like some dude traditionalist group exactly yeah yeah back to the old ways yeah damn [ __ ] yourself on stream uh-huh don't wash your hands do not shower yeah we will remain who we always were gamers that's funny that's definitely funny there's gonna be like they're gonna come up with like a like a slur for like four new gamers or normy gamers for Chad gamers yeah yeah that's what chambers yeah chamber look at these [ __ ] chambers these Chad's and Chad dad's taking over ruining what is ours yeah bro ninja dress in all Louie [Laughter] like man I do you this is not related to [ __ ] do you ever have moments where we're on stage and we're just like I don't know get these moments like this believe if my kind of [ __ ] oh yeah definitely 100% it's crazy I just don't I this hard thing I'm like we don't I'd feel like I don't deserve this [ __ ] yeah no me too I feel the exact same one here it is [ __ ] exact same way and I'm like I'm up there the whole time and I'm like god man I really hope everyone's having a good time people seem to love the show yesterday they've a lot of really really positive tweets know that people are people enjoying it so I know it's hard during comedy it's really hard because you especially when we're on stage together because we have so much time or we can like one of us is talking to there once just kind of like looking at the audience and like thinking and thinking yeah exactly so like you know you're not really actively performing when that's happening of course I'm like listen to what you're saying trying to like pipe in and stuff like that but like you know you really have a second to like the crowd and there's always people that aren't laughing always right like there's some people that are really good like you know the energy super how you can tell they laugh they love the show mm-hmm cuz they're laugh about their whole thing and some people you look at them and they're not laughing right but they're paying attention and so you think like are they just it's weird it's a weird thing yes they could be definitely enjoying the show that's just how they express it yeah or they could be hating the show yeah which is what I assume yeah oh I mean like I love pointing those people out in the show and you know just being like hey man you alright and like the dude I I talked to yesterday who was like had his hands on the railing he's disappointed we didn't roast him oh yeah no I saw that he DM me he's like I'm really let down you guys didn't roast me he's like I had a great time so I'm like well [ __ ] okay yeah I guess you know we just gotta trust that everyone's having a good time and in honor of that man uh you look like you don't get enough [ __ ] calcium dude drink some milk neck look weakest [ __ ] no that's it you can't [ __ ] roast Rowan man by telling him to drink milk you weirdo you're the only grown man I know that drinks milk first you only one me yes you're the only grown man I know that actively drinks milk I'll talk to Matt Matt rtmp No don't Matt don't yeah yeah but yeah but he was a [ __ ] he he drinks it like cuz his bones need it what his balls don't need that [ __ ] he was like a skinny he was like a [ __ ] rail-thin dude for like ever what the [ __ ] am i I guess I mean I don't know I feel like you eat enough food like he like you know I guess that's true yeah ok fine you and Matt only two girl men I know that actively drank mill know and you know what I used to pound it when I was like lifting heavy and I put on like those 10 or 15 pounds and then my heart is in a bad place it's not I don't get to do that anymore okay so now it's like when I can't have it it's like it's like when it's like a treat it's like a delicacy for you now no it's not nice cold glass of milk now I just wind down the end of the day with a little nightcap little cool glass of milk and then I take my nap nap like o99 Oh milk stash yeah I go night-night myself with him here I go got milk mmm good night now dude I I just I was mainly drinking that [ __ ] cuz uh [ __ ] all that Advil up and taking mmm can't do it on empty stomach Oh fair enough I usually don't drink milk at all mm-hmm it's been [ __ ] I hate this I love that what that I'm in this situation where I want to put on weight but it's like I don't know how does he eat but I can't yeah not the way I want to hmm like I start draining smoothies from the Glatt from the thing again even but even I even that now that that smoothie I used to pack that full of [ __ ] now I can't why it's like it's all because of cholesterol I see cholesterol is a [ __ ] dude I see like the only way I can consume more is if I become like a powerlifter like some like Olympic [ __ ] routine where I'm just really pushing away and burning calories and it's just you know yeah and you can't eat fish are there no let's just figure it out yeah what's gonna get penis fillers [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] it let's just do that dude that was a I love the girl yesterday I'd like near the beginning what did she do she stood up and she goes what did she say she wanted us to crowd surf oh yeah and yes she goes do it [ __ ] yes she stands up yeah and just like remain standing and it's just like yeah I'm the one that said that I was like it's almost filly thing in the entire world some girl doesn't like just owning the foot like yeah yeah [ __ ] you now is me yeah so Chris is so funny also I mean I pointed this out in Boston and you know I like ask the crowd I'm like you do all girls in Boston say bro and then we draw weirdly they all like half of them started cheering yeah and I'm like that [ __ ] is disgusting the first woman I talked to the Boston we're at this store and I go you have this you have the sweater and small and she goes nah bro whatever is up on the rack that's what we got and I was like look it's a mitt and it says the show right it's imagine her like just going down some do being like yeah you like that bro like that bros that [ __ ] nice you like the way I suck your dick bro bro tell me if you need some mo mo put some more on there bro just for you yeah bro come [ __ ] my [ __ ] bro crush me harder bro what the side there bro dude and then oh we're in Boston the most Boston [ __ ] possible could have happen we're just walking down the street and this guy is blocking a dude on a bike and the dude on the bike is like a yo-yo and he's like hitting the dudes car and the guy doesn't respond to him and there's some guy on the street goes yo Big Z old boys trying to talk to ya Biggs is no Big Z yo big Z do you think they knew each other that was just like his nickname for the guy no I think there's just like a weird nickname just like yo big Z yeah man boss is really beautiful though no it is I gotta say we went in across the bridge from Cambridge to Boston mm-hmm and spent some time over there really nice really really nice city yeah we picked a great day to show up yeah it was a when the energy was high cuz everyone's going to the parade yeah we're gonna get a big white wet smooch from TB himself feel bad from you know we'll go back to him do a proper venue me yeah we'll do an actual venue there because and we said this a couple times but I just want to reiterate like for somebody standing venues the whole point was like our agents didn't really know who was gonna buy a ticket in some of these areas like very well only like 50 you could have showed up yeah and they just would have dropped down chairs and over been a small ass show so it's just it's wild that you know we're in this position you know it's it's a I guess a great problem to have and I mean it's just I'm like inspired like when we get home like I just want to go home write more material oh yeah bro yeah bro yeah well I was thinking we should actually actually try and start doing like weekly weekly comedy show at home yeah after this we should yeah just have like you know have ten people do 10-minute sets whatever the [ __ ] yeah I mean weekly is really hard to promote we don't even need to [ __ ] promote it well all we got to do is talk about it on the podcast people will come yeah it's like a 1500 person show or something like that right yeah I mean yeah I guess we did a small room at the improv yeah weeklies just I think I think bi-weekly is smarter yeah maybe and bi-weekly smarter any promoter will tell you that yeah bro yeah bro yeah but I think that's I definitely think that there be good for us and and we can work [ __ ] out and you know we can see more of you and I know a lot of you like wanted you know come through the VIP but it just doesn't worked out and like you know hopefully in LA maybe we can make that more of a possibility just by doing these smaller shows and seeing more people but yeah we should do that yeah I think it's a good idea yeah and so you know I'm [ __ ] man I can't say it enough though I like I love being able to do this I'm just so thankful it's just crazy yeah thank you to everyone who's come out to the show so far no yeah who's enjoyed themselves and in future shows and once this [ __ ] gets his green card right we're gonna go all over this [ __ ] I'm Canada baby yeah I mean I think we can finally say it yeah that's the that's the goal and we are gonna get out to Europe and oh oh yeah you know what shout out to a couple people we have some people flying yesterday from [ __ ] New Zealand dude yeah that's crazy big us man and they had fun they did a good time that he said really good times so that's huge I brought that and tonight is Baltimore [ __ ] looking forward to it be more you and yeah we all we got new merch coming out soon as well I know I said that last time or the episode before we just like finalized it so that should be going up within the next week yeah the boy Brandon cooked up something very cool shout out Brandon it's um there you know keep an eye on teamgta calm mm-hm and yeah um man wait I got a [ __ ] it's just like I just gotta get this off my chest okay well this [ __ ] off my chest the [ __ ] right from my husband's ass and that's the [ __ ] man that that's like the new winamp quote instead of it really kicks the llamas ass it's the [ __ ] from your husband's ass it's the turds fresh from your husband's ass all right so I've meant to say this last episode but I want to say now Mormon have you ever known Mormons yeah okay there's like a good population of Mormons where I grew up and those [ __ ] loved basketball well they like that where you grew up yep I love basketball it's crazy like there's that like super popular video of like some missionaries and like Detroit or some [ __ ] just like playing street ball with some random dude and uh it's like the kids got a jumper and he's just drain in threes it's like these two dudes in Detroit won't be like this it's a great video so wholesome I feel good but I was thinking to like since more since Mormons love basketball do they have like a stat tracker for all their missionaries what do you mean there's like full spread like NBA style a new live converted conversions you know like just all that [ __ ] you know conversion percentage like that how accurate they are you know years in the game like do they have like you know divisional teams ORS yeah how many doors they've knocked on yeah doors to converge oh my god it's like shooting percentage that's good yeah that's a good bit yeah you think so yeah you should flush I won out yeah looking Oh what what did that come from flesh that out I'm shocked her porn probably yeah yeah there's another one flesh that out calm I'm surprised we've never got a fleshlight sponsorship I they dire that's been done for me dude I'm yeah no you did I'll be just mean for us I guess the flashlight was about an actual sponsorship we're we're like very 2015 24 the flashlights not that cool anymore yeah exactly it's all about crazy now yeah now it's all about the robot that's such a dick do you see that new one the war was like all y'all y'all hos better learn how to broke dick or something and it's some that was crazy I was crazy [ __ ] I was like I was like intimidated by that I was like no when I went back to my is how you could tell I'm sensitive what you don't just way MIT in her throat yeah yeah a little it's a robot yeah just be nice you hate that dude with you that's your hair and you feel confident yeah you know just the sensitive guck this guck goddamn what time is it dude 4k oh man I got a yeah we have to UM [ __ ] do we you know the bus tonight yeah I think so maybe hope so come on go to an airport yo episode 69 in the can this is great we have how many more weeks left two more two and a half more weeks so two more episodes on the road probably right yeah yeah I think so I'm sorry sorry if these are like weird we just yeah it's I mean damned I mean I the one thing that we will do going forward is like if we're on the road we're gonna build in time to like make these like on an off day we'll arrest and yeah yeah yeah yeah cuz ya know we don't want to be in a situation where we're not making the pot yeah so two and a half weeks left and we're back home potentially new love Island mm-hmm next week you know there's there's a so so cross your little fingers look out for it we'll see yeah we'll see we'll see what the deal is um but yeah appreciate you guys see you next week Gang Gang [Music]

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 369,083

Rating: 4.9406257 out of 5

Keywords: podcast, tmg, long form, conversation, comedy, comedians

Id: zZmpECifomY

Length: 66min 22sec (3982 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 15 2019